dhvvri - Tumblr blog

[dhvvri]

I really loathe those autistics who downplay the struggles and concerns of other autistic people (or their loved ones) just because they're at the point on the spectrum where they can be mostly independent and/or don't have high support needs. Like, no, not all autistics will be able to finish medical school (or any other career) like you did. Not all non-verbal autistics will eventually be able to speak. Autism is not based solely on your personal experience. I don't like that kind of positivity.

[dhvvri]

Id been a bit pressured into taking meds for my tourettes. People told me about how my tics would be a distraction for the people in my class. Ive never really wanted to take any meds for my tics, which I realised after I experienced the first side effects. For me its just not worth it, so Ive decided to stop taking them.

Heres a list of the side effects Ive experienced:

dizziness

brain fog

tiredness

excessive sweating

shaking of my hands and legs

insomnia

food aversion

blurry vision

double vision

I just hope my tics will be menageable in school. If they really are too distracting idk what i will do. Im very scared of the possibility of having to go on meds to menage my tics.

[dhvvri]

The next school year Im gonna be more open about my tourettes. I was told the teachers know about it but Im not sure they know what it actually means. People see me ticcing anyway and Ive always just ignored it BUT I have some tics that look similar to seizures and one of my teachers got so worried once.....I think it might be even more awkward than just letting them know Im diagnosed with TS.

[dhvvri]

I probably have prosopagnosia and I've always struggled with recognising peoples faces, but for years i thought everyone recognises people by their hair, glasses, height/weight etc.

I have no idea how people just look at someone in a different setting than usually and know who that is.

Its kinda funny because of situations like:

mistaking a classmate for my cousin just because i met her outside of our school

not realising i knew my fathers lover (we literally spent 3 days together in one room) before she "reminded" me about it

walking past my mother when she was literally the only other person there

I get used to faces I see a lot and I can recognise them when Im expecting to see someone in a certain place, but I might have a problem with it when I dont know they would be there.

It can be problematic because I feel like I forget someones face the exact moment i stop looking at it.

[dhvvri]

During EVERY holidays I worry about my tics getting worse. They are always worse when Im not in school, which every time makes me worried about going back there.

Only recently I realised its just because I dont have to suppress them during holidays. When I go back to school, they will "get milder" again.

Ok, everything seems to make sense, BUT:

Suppressing tics in school can be so exhausting. I wish I could just learn to not care that much. I could suppress them less, but Im afraid about what my class would think if they just "suddenly got worse".

[dhvvri]

You dont choose to be disabled, or "held back". Not every autistic person can be independent. Its called a "spectrum" for a reason. The fact you dont struggle because of your autism and its only "thinking differently" for you doesnt mean its like that for everyone else. It is much more than just that.

Autism is NOT a disability. People need to get over it.

- An autistic person who is thriving without labels

[dhvvri]

Why do you think it's okay to bully others???

I dont think it is okay. I do not support bullying people.

I dont know what I had done to deserve this intriguing question, so lets look at the definition of "bully":

"seek to harm, intimidate, or coerce"

I post about things I find interesting or worth attention. I also sometimes respond to other peoples posts, and of course I dont agree with everyone.

Im a civilised person. Im not going to bully someone because they said something I disagree with. But I prefer to be blunt about my opinions.

When I disagree or criticise something someone says, it doesnt mean I bully them, or even insult them as a person.

[dhvvri]

Autism is a disability. Only a person with low support needs would say it isn't. And not every autistic person is low support needs.

There are people with autism who struggle with speech and communication, some of them cant talk at all.

Many people with autism cant do IADLs or even ADLs on their own, which often leads to them not being able to ever live on their own.

Autism can lead to problems with learning. Or sensory issues, sometimes very severe. It can lead to autistic kids needing an individualised education programme. Or a school for kids with special needs.

Autism can be VERY alienating and isolating. It makes peoples lives harder. Thats why it is considered a disability.

Autism is a spectrum, and if you dont struggle because of it, it doesnt mean its not a disability for people who are somewhere else on the spectrum. Autism can be disabling.

Autism is NOT a disability. People need to get over it.

- An autistic person who is thriving without labels

[dhvvri]

Maybe because every person with autism is different?

Calling anyone a retard is bad, especially if its because of their disability, but "people with autism are smart" is a stereotype too.

Yes, theres a lot of smart autistic people, but theres also a lot of autistic people who wouldnt be considered smart. This stereotype can be harmful too.

Your argument is just an example of the fallacy of proof by example.

crazy how society views autistic people as “retards” when actually people i’ve met with autism are the smartest people i know

[dhvvri]

Why are you Polish

[dhvvri]

The fact Tourettes is so often misdiagnosed or the symptoms are just not taken seriously is so infuriating.

Before I got diagnosed with Tourettes one doctor (a neurologist!) had told me its just "anxiety tics" so I should talk to a psychologist and then asked "why would you even come to me with it?". Another one said its OCD.

Even after I got diagnosed by a TS specialist, other doctor (a neurologist again) said "forget about tourettes, autistic people just have tics".

Tourettes affects about 1% of people, it is a common disorder. And yet a lot of doctors, many of them being neurologists dont know shit about it. People with anxiety, adhd, autism etc. are not being diagnosed by "professionals" just because of their comorbidities. Or just hear that it will go away on its own.

[dhvvri]

I bought a book about Tourettes Syndrome and a tic crumpled its cover. Its pretty ironic but Im sad and frustrated.

[dhvvri]

On my last psychiatric appointment my doctor had to write down all my diagnoses and she didnt include OCD that she had diagnosed me with a year ago. I guess I just got undiagnosed.

[dhvvri]

It pisses me off when I spontaneously want to say something funny and I know about what I want it to be, but I have no time to come up with the exact sentence im going to say.

Even if something is hilarious in my head, its no longer funny after i say a wrong word, conjugate 3 verbs wrong and realise I dont remember the word I want to say halfway through the sentence.

Its so frustrating, I just want to be funny.

[dhvvri]

calling someone childish for symptoms of a developmental disability is in fact ableism and if you do it you should never speak again

[dhvvri]

What an autistic person says: "How long is it going to take?"

What they mean: "I want to know whether to activate my short term waiting mode where I just wait and do nothing else, or activate my long term waiting mode where I occupy my mind with something else. I fully understand that both are possibilities, and I have no problem whatsoever with either one, but I want more information so I can best adapt to the situation."

What neurotypical people hear: "I am impatient and demand that everything I want happen right now. Please scold me and publicly humiliate me for it."

[dhvvri]

Im diagnosed with autism and I know I have some speech difficulties, but Id never thought about it too much.

Even though I didnt have speech delay, my mum says that even as a kid Id talk almost only about things Im interested in, and apart from that, Id usually only answer with "yes" or "no".

So I spent some time thinking about it and tried to make a list of things I struggle with/thing I do:

it takes me a while to translate my thoughts into verbal language, things are clear in my head, but I just cant find the correct words

if I can nod, shrug, point to something or just make the "mhm" sound instead of talking, I will do it

I use phrases Ive hears other people use, just to be more sure that "thats how it should be said"

after I start speaking, I very often struggle with completing a sentence and feel like I dont remember any words that could be used in that situation

I prefer answering with single words/short phrases, and avoid saying thing that are unnecessary

I repeat myself all the time, use the same phrases

I struggle with coming up with things to say spontaneously and plan sentences before I say them

before presenting anything in front of my class, I write everything Im gonna say (sometimes multiple pages long) and memorise it

sometimes I forget what Im talking about halfway through a sentence

even after I figure out what I want to say, I sometimes just physically cant force myself to start talking, even if its only one or two words

I make long gaps between words, because it takes me a bit longer to think about what Im going to say next

Other than that, I just dont like talking about things Im not interested in and find it tiring. Sometimes I can talk a lot about stuff I like but still mix up words and make gaps between them.

I saw a lot of people posting about how many of the things I do are actually semiverbal traits. I often relate to it, but Im not sure if I could call myself that, because I am able to talk most of the time. It just sounds a bit different and can take me more time.