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[diaryof1000days]

Day 86- I finished a kdrama (Crazy Love) in three days. It felt like a real return to myself. It was such a classic. Also I’ve been playing Sea of Stars a lot today, which also feels like a return to myself.

Watched the first episode of Acolyte and while Manny Jacinto wasn’t in it, but I’ve seen gifs of him and he’s H-O-T. I also did not go on the pretty short family walk because I wanted to play Sea of Stars. These sentences brought to by NAM and NHL because I couldn’t think of what to write about.

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Day 85- There is truly not an original thought in the world. I started watching a Chinese Drama called my Lethal Man, and the first instance of the guy falling for the girl is when she did the accounts real good and found a way to fix the problem. Not me using that exact scenario in my romantic daydreams. I had to take a break after that 😂.

I started watching Crazy Love instead where a guy fakes amnesia. I adore the I know you know that I know trope. It’s never not funny.

Wish tomorrow was Friday instead of Thursday :(

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Day 84- neck/sinus issues at work knocked me out a bit today. Mrb is bad for me health having to stare that long without taking a break lol.

Watching the last minute of the Stanley Cup finals. Florida up 2-1 very intense!!! Kept them on the boards for the last 10 seconds. Exactly how Florida should have won. I wasn’t invested either way but the celebration has been sweet. Happy for Bob. I wish the Flyers were a good team. It’s been over 10 years at this point :(

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Day 83- Made it to a record third time out with a guy, but he hasn’t made a move on me so it’s kind of….. We watched Furiosa in an entirely empty movie theater. It was a little awkward for me at least. Not helped by the neck/shoulder strain induced headache I got. At least I looked cute with my sandy colored pants and my girl power (PWHL championship) t-shirt.

Still have the shoulder thing. Should have known this was going to happen.

I feel forgetting next week is still a full week of June probably because we’ve been at end of month/year all June lol.

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Day 82- I built my butterfly Lego, so two down and one to go. 👏

I took a meeting on the toilet today just for the laughs. It was less a funny secret and more just nerve wracking so while a trip to the toilet was needed I won’t be doing that again. I am not looking forward to the first week of July I’ll have a lot of things coming to a head after the push for the end of the year. I can only also hope a bunch of people are off too. And it will be a short week.

I’ve officially set up a third date with IF. Breaking my record. Not that he’s made any moves on me but he does keep reaching out. Sometimes I don’t want to step out of my comfort zone though… He’s sweet enough to drive down to me though and I hate how much that counts. It keeps me in comfort zone a bit.

My big accomplishment of the day is that I beat the second heart boss in Slay the Spire with the blue robot character. That means I need a new rouge like to play lol.

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Day 81- I finished my Beetle Lego today. 👏👏

It’s cute, and I set it on top of the TV for decoration. I went to wing night and had actually wings (same Parmesan garlic sauce) instead of chicken nuggets. Mostly because we went out for lunch at work and I didn’t want more breaded chicken and you can’t not get wings at wing night.

Still chugging along on the Aerois campaign from High Rollers. I’m over the embarrassment I felt earlier and I’m back in the game lmao.

I physically felt a bit better today than I have. I wonder if my period was making it worse…

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Day 80- I think I need to see an eye doctor. The dryness, the floaters, the pain. It’s not good…

Finally got to read the third book of the Darcy/Tilney mysteries from Claudia Gray. I know she can do better with the yearning so that’s a little disappointing but still it’s building appropriately. Still love them because I mostly agree with her characterizations. But I’m a bit disappointed with Charlotte, sure she was practical but I think she would have made her own happiness. And most egregious not been lusting over Elizabeth’s childhood home like it’s implied in this book. She already has her own home.

I’ve gotten pretty far in the High Rollers campaign but someone this part with the planar travel and the need to get home is giving me second hand embarrassment. It’s not their fault they aren’t even doing anything that’s like it but for some reason it’s still hitting me. Maybe just because they just aren’t making decisions with any urgency.

Hope my sleep lets my neck and face rest a bit. I hate being on my period as it certainly doesn’t help me relax at all.

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Day 79- Chock full day… of walking. Went to OTF then the pride parade and walked 2 miles there and then a few more blocks when we went out to eat. I also now unfortunately have a blister on one of my toes. It honestly doesn’t hurt too much but so annoying nevertheless. I also got sun burn.

I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining about today it was a fun day. I cried throughout the pride parade 🏳️‍⚧️ 🏳️‍🌈 just overwhelmed by humanity wanting the best for each other. We also got a bunch of free swag including a fan that saved my life and a dope sticker from the aquarium. We stopped halfway back to get water and I got Fuji water, another win for the day. Also texted the guy I went on a date with in a “subtle” attempt he was cool with the LBGTQ and he was so date three will probably happen at some point.

Sucks the Phillies lost today but they’ll just have to win tomorrow when we are actually there!

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Day 78- 4 whole days since I last wrote. And yet everything has changed. Not really but imagine if the apocalypse has started in the meantime.

MPM’s scans came back and the results were mostly good in the fact no usual spots show any signs of cancer. There are still some concerns in the OG spot and some other lymph nodes were weird. They don’t currently think those are cancer but they’ll do another scan in a few months after her treatment and see what it looks like. She would be a medical anomaly if it did turn out that way.

I went on a second date yesterday and he asked for my number after so lates see if I can break my record and get to a third date. Not that we’ve done anything just walked and talked but hey I’m making it up as I go. Terrible how sweaty that made me- so embarrassing how breathless I was too most of the time. It would be nice to have someone who likes me and someone that’s just for me that involved with the rest of the family.

My stomach is still being sensitive. I don’t think it’s quite as bad as it was but it’s still not good. I probably need to commit to not eating junk for a week to see if it clears up.

Finished my book and if the sequel lives up to the first one it will be on my own all time personal list. Another one where I won’t be able to look at criticisms because I’ve related too much to the book. But only certain things where I feel like I’m getting called out for liking it.

Excited for the Phillies game tonight. They better win after blowing the series against the Red Sox who stink.

[diaryof1000days]

Day 77- Happy bday to my yiayia. She’s over 80 and still going strong and even hit at the casino today.

MPM posted what the doctor wrote about her scan. Nothing in the impressions section has “metasis” but there were concerns written in there. Guess we will learn more tomorrow after the doctor explains it to her. No organs were affected for sure but there were things written about other lymph nodes. I was hyperventilating reading it when she sent it and I hyperventilate thinking about it now. I can only hope for her continued good. This ends one way and it’s with her beating the cancer. It has to.

I saw the movie Thelma today and really enjoyed. Almost wish I hadn’t seen it as it would have made a good “hat movie” one day. The characters were a little stereotypical but in a true to life way.

Set up a second date at KoP with the guy I met earlier. I feel bad about ghosting the first guy I went there with. He was nice and we had a lot in common. I’m just not good at talking with two people. Unfortunately the guy I chose him over was a gun nut with a daughter the mother’s family “wasn’t allowing him to see” and that’s the real deal breaker. Well enough reminiscing about that hopefully this goes better :)

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Day 76- Still waiting for the results from MPM’s pet scan is torture. I can’t even imagine how she is feeling. Dad came out and explained his rudimentary look which at least there isn’t anything obviously wrong but none of us when to radiology school duh. It’s going to be a day maybe two until we learn.

MMM and GJM moved backed into their house today after 11 months. I’m so happy they get to be comfortable again. I’ll just miss being the de facto auntie around!

I had a good day bringing the nephews around for Pokémon community day at the museum. I ended up with 4 shinies, two of the them at the very end. The dragon world was a very cute and fun exhibit for kids. LMH was a little scared of the big animatronics. They had a both where you could do a little animation and it was fun even for me as an adult. If you’re gregarious kid and there was more people around I could you easily making friends with someone.

I started A Letter to the Luminous Deep today the girl that’s haunting the narrative sounds a little too much like me. I don’t have the same physical compulsions and it’s not nearly to the same extent but I’ve never felt the train of thought was the same as mine quite like this book. Makes me think. Think what- that I’m normal because I don’t have the issues to this extent or I’m not normal because normal people don’t think like this in the first place. I’ll need to get someone else in the family to read the book and let me know lol. I’m liking it a lot so far. Makes me want to write letters to my loved ones and to a random person in the hopes they’ll love me back.

[diaryof1000days]

Day 75- I skipped two days again because I wasn’t feeling well. My throat is still a little scratchy but idk if it’s allergies or what. This is why I keep the numbering system lol.

EMM had her littles recital today and all of the teams were adorable. I know I’m too sensitive when I’m choking up. The most memorable part was an older girl that straight up melted to the floor during her routine to point I wasn’t sure if she had fainted. Then at the end of the dance she popped right back up proving she was just didn’t want to dance. EMM stood in her spot but didn’t move which is better than expected.

I’ll miss having MMM and her fam around. I like living with them. I know they miss home and they hate it, so they have to do what’s best for them. But I dislike their dog especially since he’s started barking at dad. So annoying. I’m def not a pet person. Annoying to have to watch babies/toddlers around them especially.

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Day 74- I’ve gone back and double posted a couple of times when I’ve remembered in the morning but I won’t this time. Here’s to me missing out on writing in my diary for two days by becoming dehydrated and probably pulling an abdominal muscle. I basically listened to High Rollers for two days straight while I tried not to be in pain. It helped a bit for sure. They play most like how I would play and not super talented improve comedy actors like the other podcasts I listen to lol.

Tomorrow is the scan for MPM I’m praying they find nothing. We technically won’t know but they put the initial results in early from the biopsy and we were able to figure it out. They have to find nothing. They just have to. My anxiety about this is a lot and it’s mixing with the fact it’s ARM’s birthday to make me odder.

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Day 73- I went to hot yoga today, it was good for me but I also felt like death. I think I would need to make it a goal to be able to do some of these poses and start from home and work my way up. My thighs felt like they were on fire by the end so I wonder if I’ll be sore at all tomorrow. And then I napped and helped NAM with her teacher goodie bags. Pretty much my full day, watching the Phillies now.

I’m close to just asking the fam what to write about as we sitting in the living room together… cause I got nothing today. My boss canceled the team meeting, the amount of cancels + different *guest stars* it’s probably been over a month since we’ve had a true one. I’m not complaining about it though lol.

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Day 72- Biggest thing I did today was visit MPM and her children. Both older boys were good and so adorable, the newborn cried a little but she was good too. I know I’ve called all newborns cute but she does look a bit like a shriveled old man lol. I did also find out her scan to see if the cancer spread is the on Thursday and even now thinking about it my stomach and chest are full of anxiety. I just want her to be ok- she has three young children she can’t be terminally ill it just isn’t fair. She just can’t.

I was awake until 5am yesterday and I still don’t really know what caused it. Watching tik toks didn’t help but I was only watching because I didn’t want to go to sleep. I didn’t know about the scan date yesterday so that isn’t it. Otf wasn’t super early so that wasn’t it. I even tried to listen to my podcast as usual when I was having trouble and that didn’t work.

The movie ARM picked as part of our hat contract was pretty good. I used to love 70’s game shows as a kid so the aesthetic was actually familiar to me. I honestly wonder how this movie would have worked as a click and point video game, it kind of gave the vibe.

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Day 71- Did a half and half at work today. If there was one good thing to come out of Covid it’s the fuck the work place mentality. Unfortunately it’s a poor substitute for anything substantial when the only people it really applies to are fairly useless office workers like me.

I think I might need to start doing exercising everyday I always feel better. Today I only did a 20 minute beginner yoga video but my face felt a lot better afterword. It is starting to scare me that I’m almost never without pain in that back/shoulder/neck/eye/sinus area. It’s been at least a couple of weeks like this. And one top of that I’ve really been noticing my floaters in my right eye lately. I wonder if it’s also related to all of the tension over on this side. Sometimes I hype myself up into thinking it’s a brain tumor.

Excited to see MPM and meet my little niece VJH for the first time tomorrow! Should make for an exciting day.

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Day 70- When I met with my boss today she mentioned she was going to try and get me a promotion. It had better go through since she’s the one that brought it up. I was going to bring it up during my performance review but this is better lol.

I won a 25 gold race in Candy Crush today. But that’s not the important part the important part is that I stopped myself knowing from starting the next one knowing I wasn’t going to complete it therefore maintaining my choices. #Selfcontrol

I need to learn better on how to hold a neutral neck during exercise. And especially how to keep my head up on the treadmill.