disgruntledseagull

[disgruntledseagull]

@baradude everyone can see you 😭

[disgruntledseagull]

you didn't set the toggle to stop them

you are their discernment

without you they have none

have none

RimWorld Colonist voice: "Owwie, I got a little bitty bruise, time to waste the only piece of advanced medication we have in storage"

[disgruntledseagull]

As if none of you were ever young and broke 💅🏻

i was looking for the seagull inhales meme but i found this and now i'm uncomfortable

Try and put these saultry binches out of your mind now!

SKRAAWWWW!

[disgruntledseagull]

OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE I AM DONE HEARING ABOUT THIS OVERRATED, OVERPRICED, SANITIZED, TOURIST-INFESTED HELLHOLE CALLED LISBON. HOW MANY MORE TIMES DO I HAVE TO HEAR SOME DEAD-EYED TRAVEL BLOGGER OR SMUG HIPSTER RAMBLE ON ABOUT “LiSbOn iS tHe SoUl oF pOrTuGaL” BEFORE I FUCKING SNAP?! NEWSFLASH, DIPSHITS: LISBON HAS NO SOUL LEFT. IT WAS SOLD TO THE LOWEST BIDDER AND REPACKAGED FOR BRITISH STAG PARTIES AND CRYPTO BROS WHO THINK THEY’RE “EXPLORING CULTURE” BY GETTING DRUNK IN ALFAMA.

Lisbon is like if you took Portugal, drained every ounce of authenticity from it, slapped on a few trams and some faded tiles, and then jacked up the rent to drive every normal person out. That city is a hollowed-out carcass wearing a cute pastel facade, and the only thing thriving there is the goddamn TUK-TUK MAFIA. If I see one more tourist on a fucking electric scooter acting like they discovered the goddamn Earth while locals can’t even afford to live there anymore, I swear I’m going to start chucking pastéis de nata at their stupid sunburnt faces.

PORTO IS THE REAL CAPITAL, YOU CLUELESS FUCKS. While Lisbon was too busy bending over for Airbnb landlords and digital nomads who “just need good WiFi and vibes,” Porto kept its fucking dignity. We didn’t roll out the red carpet for every hedge fund rat looking for a tax break — we stayed gritty, real, and alive. Porto is where the actual WORK gets done, where the wine flows like blood from a proud, unyielding heart, where people don’t give a shit about your influencer clout. You want port wine? You want actual character? You want people who aren’t faking their goddamn culture for TripAdvisor stars? THEN YOU GO TO PORTO.

Lisbon is a goddamn Disneyland made for idiots who think “authenticity” is drinking overpriced ginjinha while a guy in a fedora butchers a fado song he learned for TikTok. Porto? Porto will punch you in the teeth with its weather, its food, its people, and you’ll THANK IT for the privilege. Lisbon is for cowards — Porto is for people who want to taste the iron and salt of a city that never sold out.

So take your Lisbon sunsets, your shitty sardine festivals, your overpriced rooftop bars, and shove them right up your overpriced, rent-hiked ass. PORTO IS PORTUGAL. PORTO IS POWER. LISBON IS JUST A FUCKING POSTCARD THAT GOT LEFT OUT IN THE RAIN.

[disgruntledseagull]

hot dogs!

Guys I think Im getting it today.

And by "it" I mean haha, a little treat.

[disgruntledseagull]

who needs a group chat when you have trainer0084 posts?

[disgruntledseagull]

Seeing as how you are both Portuguese and clearly some sort of nobleman 🙄 (going by the dress) could you get me resifddensy in the Azores please. I just need a little shack and 1700 acres of prime farmland to neglect.

[disgruntledseagull]

[disgruntledseagull]

I wanna go but you have to let me stand on your head cos they don't make skates my size :(

[disgruntledseagull]

you are still doing it the question mark is implied how dare you

[disgruntledseagull]

Oh you bastARD YOU ARE STILL ASKING QUESTIONS!!! YOU JUST CHanged the formaT SO i WOULDN'T NOTICE OH VERY CLEVER INDEED!

nO mORE qUESTIONS!

[disgruntledseagull]

Seagull feet.

[disgruntledseagull]

No they put it in a box and ship it to Wisconsin where it stays for like 11.95 months of the year.

They just unbox it for like a few hours for the Gul festival then ship it back to the US for storage.

Shoockling that you, a Proud American Patriot™️doesn't already know this.

[disgruntledseagull]

Yeah, but they store it in Wisconsin until they need to bring it out and dust it off for events and shit.

Cheaper that way.

[disgruntledseagull]

shocking that OP hasn't just blocked us all

[disgruntledseagull]

No, but you are correct in that it is also in Wisconsin.