disheveledwizard

[disheveledwizard]

Too bad the prophet Cassandra never met Odysseus

[disheveledwizard]

I turn 30 next month so here’s what I learned in my 20s:

—don’t work for startups, they’re always one ‘innovative idea’ away adding ‘sell your kidneys on the black market’ to your job description.

—keeping a collection of basic OTC medicine on you will save your life one day. I recommend Advil, Imodium, and TUMS.

—those little single-use glasses cleaning wipes are 1000% worth the money

—overly self-depreciating jokes just make people uncomfortable, wean yourself off of them

—you can buy dehydrated mini marshmallows in bulk online and they’re a godsend for hot cocoa

—people don’t care if you have fidget toys on your desk they just want to play with them

—try to go to bed BEFORE the existential ennui kicks in

[disheveledwizard]

I love getting emails like "now that your lake has instituted a 30-day dry time for boats before entering the lake I will have to kill myself. I cannot suffer the untenable hardship of not boating for 4 weeks in the summer. My family is permanently destroyed by your desire to control invasive species. This is worse than 100 genocides to me. I'm sure no one will every read a letter from a sad old infirm dying tragic veteran grandma like me."

Like girl this has no effect on me. I do not care about you. Shove your dirty mussel fowled crap boat up you sad old infirm dying tragic veteran grandma asshole you musty old bitch. Emotionally blackmail someone who gives a shit.

Don't hesitate to reach out if you have another other questions!

Very Respectfully,

Ranger AJ

[disheveledwizard]

It drives me insane how many people dont realise how often they break the law and that if the full force of it was ever applied life would basically be unliveable. Like between traffic violations, petty workplace theft, account sharing and piracy alongside how common it is to have been in posession of some illegal drug at some point in your life. People still manage to get away with thinking "criminals" are people who commit crimes not just populations that are surveilled enough to be routinely prosecuted

[disheveledwizard]

baby horseshoe crabs

[disheveledwizard]

marylander trying to describe a tornado: imagine a crab cake

[disheveledwizard]

somebody said ed feat. tony-hawk-syndrome and I very much agree

[disheveledwizard]

[disheveledwizard]

The New American Gothic (2017) by Criselda Vasquez

[disheveledwizard]

[disheveledwizard]

from the first lesbian political exploration demonstration, october 25, 1975.

[disheveledwizard]

I'm kind of obsessed with the way sheep are handled. So efficiently. It always looks kind of unpleasant at first and then you notice the sheep are fine with it. They're always being flipped upside down and rolled down a chute or some shit. A shepherd will be tossing that thang in the air and spinning it like pizza dough & the sheep just lets it happen

[disheveledwizard]

just learned today that there was a german monk who was obsessed with witches and women having sex so he wrote an entire book called the hammer of witches where in one part he describes in detail that witches have the ability to make people’s penises disappear and they keep the penises as pets and feed them oats

[disheveledwizard]

in absolute tears about the pride module at my work

[disheveledwizard]

being a scavenger animal must be so fucking great. imagine if every time someone died a new restaurant opened up downtown.

[disheveledwizard]

It was cocky and overconfident to call the Titanic "unsinkable" but one thing that's overlooked is that she was genuinely really, unusually solid. She could float even with 4 compartments fully flooded, which even a lot of modern day ships can't do.

And it's not like they were wrong about her being solid! Olympic, her identical sister ship, survived being torpedoed and then running over the U-Boat that fired that torpedo. Those ships were solid.

It's very clear that absolutely no other ship in 1912 would have been able to survive that collision, and it's a testament to the quality of the ship that she didn't sink in a few minutes Empress of Ireland style. Part of what makes the Titanic such a tragic story is that it isn't a group of rich idiots locking themselves in a shoddy iron barrel to go 4km underwater. It was 2200 people, most of whom were poor immigrants, on a reliable ship on a commonly-made journey, and then something went horribly, unpredictably wrong.