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[dollfaceeeeee]

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[dollfaceeeeee]

Dean Winchester in SUPERNATURAL 5.11 'Sam, Interrupted'

[dollfaceeeeee]

somewhere in the pacific north west..

It’s cold, colder than I anticipate, and the rain settles against the outside of the small, compact house like a heavy breath; drilling into the windows and dragging me out of a heavy sleep.

For the first time in a long time, I’ve slept through the night, finding peace in the silence of Paul’s home, nestled gently against the coastal line of La Push beach, one of my favorite places in the world.

I know I’m late, beyond late, and I know my mom may or may not have called a search team out for me, because I notice the hazy sunlight that threatens to spill out from the clouds.

And, once I take a look at my phone, I know I’m right.

Paul’s arm is thrown tightly across my waist, his fingers slightly brushing against the waist band of my jeans, and his breath slides smoothly across the top of my head; even with sleep, something he doesn’t get as often as he should.

It feels like centuries ago that he and I became something more than friends, finding a solace in each other that I’ve never found in the gloomy town of Forks, and he’s never found in the exciting reservation of La Push.

I know that’s not true, because the women here are way prettier than I’ll ever be, in my opinion.

Attempting to slide out from Paul’s grip, I soon realize, is impossible, because once I do, his eyes snap open and he tumbles headfirst onto the floor at my feet.

“Damn it,” he hisses, rubbing his shoulder as he drags himself, groggily, to his feet; my lips straining to hold back the laughter that threatens to spill out.

He tries not to smile, but his attempts fall short as I watch that familiar warm grin curl across his face.

“I’m sorry, that was just too good.”

Fumbling with my school supplies, I shove them all back into my backpack and zip it up before tossing it across my back, stumbling slightly under the weight.

His smile drops slightly before it ghosts away, his eyes training on my movements in the semi darkness of the gloomy morning day.

“Where are you going?”

“Home,” I answer him, shrugging, “I’ve never been out all night without letting my mom know where I am, and she’s probably freaking out. I think I should...get back.”

Friday’s, normally, are spent on the reservation with Paul and the guys, doing schoolwork and helping Jake work on his fresh new project - this just so happens to be a 1963 Jaguar E Type.

It’s what I look forward to, every week.

“Let me go with you,” he instructs, pulling on a grey Tshirt and sneakers before pulling open his bedroom door for me.

Paul is a werewolf, like Jacob, Sam, Quil, Embry, Seth, Leah, and Jared; sometimes this fact doesn’t quite settle in to my skull correctly, and I have to repeat it to myself again.

Paul is a wolf.

Unlike Jacob, his protective wolfy instincts kick in around me, considering I’m his imprint, which means he’s technically going to be attached to me for life, whether it’s romantically or not.

Luckily for me, I think I’d do just about anything for Paul Lahote if he asked me to.

Well, besides avoiding the Cullens, but that’s impossible to do, given that we go to the same school, and Emmett is my lab partner.

More on that later.

Paul leans into the door to let me by, his tall figure towering over me like a weed, and I watch as he pulls the door shut behind him before leading me outside.

The rain is a constant companion in Washington, bringing a heavy ambush of constant precipitation and wind chill that makes it always hang at a steady 50 degrees Fahrenheit.

I know this town like the back of my hand; I’ve lived here all my life, went to school here, ate here, had my teeth cleaned here.

My mother even dates one of the natives from La Push, which still bothers me sometimes, only for the meager fact that my father died barely a year ago.

I’m interconnected to this land in ways I’ve never thought I could be to something that isn’t human.

Paul orders me to wait at the door while he rushes to get my SUV, a lingering black mass at the edge of his property, and I notice his father’s vehicle is gone; probably out to work for the day, an early riser, much like his son.

It doesn’t take Paul long to bring my SUV up close to the door, and I slide into the passenger seat comfortably, grateful for the heavy blast of heat that sways from the vents.

Tossing my bag into the backseat, I sigh loudly before getting comfortable in my seat, watching as Paul pushes the car from the property with accuracy and precision.

“You didn’t have to do this. I know Sam will be coming to look for you shortly to track down that vampire.”

Paul rolls his eyes, his hair slightly damp from the rain, and it looks great on him; his chocolate brown eyes set on the road, screening through the heavy drizzle of rain.

“Bella Swan is not, and has never been, my priority. You are. Sam can wait.”

Having a fresh new vampire face in town makes me uneasy, and rightfully so, because I know this new addition is not here for a pleasant trip.

She, also, doesn’t drink animal blood, much like the well known Cullens do.

I know Jacob wants to protect Bella, but it’s for a hopeless cause; he’s in love with her, and killing the vampire targeting her won’t get him what he wants.

He will never get what he wants.

“Yes, but isn’t it your sworn duty to protect humans? Isn’t that in your handy, dandy werewolf manual, somewhere?”

Paul’s jaw locks, his eyes stealing a glance in my direction, sparkling with irritation and mischief and I can’t help but laugh.

“Handy, dandy werewolf manual? Christ, do I wish there was one of those. Having to unwillingly share my fantasies of you with my pack is fucking awful.”

This time, he’s the one to laugh as I shoot him a glare, the interior of the car barely illuminated with light.

Fuck you, Paul Lahote.

“Seriously? Are you serious?”

“No,” he states sharply, gripping the steering wheel tighter, “of course not, baby. Those fantasies are only for you to know. Do you honestly think I’d be able to let any of them live if I was?”

Smiling, I shake my head as I picture Quil, unwillingly, having to see an image of me naked, and how disgusted he would be.

Well, gotta love Quil Ateara.

“You’re probably right. With your insane anger issues, there would be no way any of them would live under those circumstances. They’d be dead.”

“Exactly.”

Leaning over, I watch as he twists the vents off on his side of the car, grimacing slightly under the weight of the heat coming in, and I instantly feel bad as I reach for the heater dial.

“Just turn it off, baby, I’m-“

My words are cut off as the vehicle sharply swerves dangerously at an angle, cutting across the asphalt like glass; Paul hitting the brakes heavily, his hands controlling the steering gracefully before everything pulls to a direct stop.

Paul inhales sharply, his eyes dusting around the trees along the sides of the road, darker than usual and cold as ice.

He pulls the car to the side of the road before cutting the engine, his hands hovering over the steering wheel, clenching it so tightly that his knuckles turn white.

“Paul, what’s wrong? What’s going on?”

“There’s a vampire, somewhere,” he says softly, locking and unlocking his jaw before looking at me, “it doesn’t smell familiar, like those Cullens, either. This is different. Something..new.”

Inhaling sharply, I move to look out the windshield at the trees that lay before us, cold and wet and dark, before I hear Paul lean back and grab my bag.

“I’m going to have to change. I’m not sure I can get you back to Forks if they’re following us. Do you trust me?”

I’ve never seen a vampire up close, a real one, outside of the Cullens, and it makes me strangely uneasy and discouraged, as I try to focus on what he’s saying.

“What about my car?”

“Do you trust me,” he repeats, eyeing me sharply in the dark, and I can hear the rain slamming into the sides of the car before I nod.

Of course I do, of course I trust him.

“You know I do.”

“Then listen carefully, because once I change, I can’t talk. Get out of the car, put your bag on your back. And hop on my back. I’ll run you to Sam’s where I know you’ll be safe.”

“But, my mom, what about my mom?”

Paul runs a hand down the length of his face, glancing to and from the forest that lay beyond, looking more and more menacing.

“Once I’m in wolf form, I’ll contact Jared and Quil and make sure they get to your mother first, I promise. She will be fine. I can only care about you right now. Do you know what to do?”

I can only get myself to nod, my heart hammering in my chest, before I shrug on my backpack in the small space of the front seat.

Leaning toward me, Paul grabs my face and presses his lips against mine, and for a split second, it makes me feel safe, like nothing can hurt me; like I’m as weightless as a cloud, forming and shifting above the earth.

“I love you.”

Giving me a slight shove, I slide out of the car and into the rain, yanking the door shut behind me.

I know he isn’t in the car anymore, much like I know that we aren’t alone out here, and it makes me feel like a lamp in a department store window, flashing to passing customers.

Focus.

I jump once I notice Paul’s wolf form sidle up next to me, his shoulders knocking against mine before he snarls into the dark.

There’s my cue, I suppose.

Inhaling sharply, I heave myself up onto his massive wolf form, much larger than a normal horse, and I’m impressed when I find myself sitting comfortably on his back, his fur brushing against my open skin.

And, just as fast as he became the wolf, he was gone.

Now, I’ve ridden many roller coasters in my life time; I’ve hit the loop de loops, the tall drops, the upside downs, but nothing has ever prepared me for this.

Even in the darkness, it’s exhilarating; the rain whips against my face like a battering ram, jarring me out of focus, but I learn to adapt as Paul leaps under and over shrouds of greenery in the early morning light.

I don’t see anything else, besides me and Paul, but I’m sure my human eyes can fool me, because every so often, I’ll notice Paul look over toward the right, into the patch of darkness that seems to stretch on and on into the early morning.

My fingers curl around the fur on Paul’s back, and I find myself leaning into it as he moves through the forest, racing as the animal he was born with, the animal that’s always been a part of him.

Inhaling, I can smell the damp earth, coated with moss and ferns, and the fresh ocean water not too far away that seems to coat everything in a vice grip, and it seems to clear away my senses for a moment, just a moment, as I steal a quick glance behind me.

In the darkness, a patch of red seems to bloom from a patch of trees, and a smile dances across a phantom face.

[dollfaceeeeee]

“Could you drive just a little bit faster?”

Bella’s voice is abnormally small, and timid from the passenger seat of my compact Jeep Patriot, her round chocolate eyes drifting back and forth between the rearview mirror and me.

I didn’t sign up for this, I know I didn’t, and I know Paul will surely have a large argument with me once again about helping Isabella Swan with her vampire problems, but I just can’t help it.

She is the only girl in Forks that just gets me, besides Emily, of course.

It would probably be a lot healthier for me to hang out with Emily over Bella, considering the type of people all three of us spend our time with.

The only odd one out in that mix just so happens to be the brown eyed girl sitting across from me.

I allow my eyes to glance down at the speedometer once again, and I’m shocked to see the 86 blaring at me in large green coloring; feeling it wash over me as I grip the steering wheel rather tightly.

Please, dear lord, let Paul be somewhere else, somewhere far away from La Push because if he finds out I’m both speeding and bringing Bella Swan with me, he’s going to kill me on the spot.

“I’m sorry to say but 86 is going to be my limit for the moment,” I say rather calmly, my heart hammering as my SUV drifts painfully over the rain littered road.

Curse this damned wet, sloshy, bone chilling cold weather that I see outside my window every day.

“Wait, eighty six? You’re going eighty six miles per hour? Oh, God, that’s not even close to being fast enough.”

“I don’t understand,” I mumble softly, “doesn’t Edward know you’re going to the reservation to see Jake today? I told you to make sure it was okay, and you told me he said it was.”

There is a low, gutteral sound, an almost inhuman noise that drifts out from Bella’s mouth, and it takes all of the willpower inside of me not to pull the car to a stop and tell her to get the hell out.

I know what the wolves will do to me with her in the car, but I don’t know what the vampires will do.

I don’t know if I can handle any extra supernatural creatures on my ass today.

“Evan, please, you have to understand, I had to lie. I have to see Jake. He hasn’t returned my calls, he’s completely ghosted me, and I know it’s my fault. I can’t go there without Edward finding out somehow, but if I did it last minute, and quickly, Alice wouldn’t find out. As soon as I see him, I’ll leave, I promise, I just can’t leave it like it was. I just can’t.”

My mouth goes dry at the thought of running into any one of the Cullens, and how fast the entire pack would react if any one of them tried to attack me in any way for this.

It would be an all out war, a blood bath.

I am Paul’s imprint, after all.

Taking a deep breath, I bite the inside of my cheek as I linger over her words, hating how they sound rattling in my head.

I should have known this would be a stupid idea, given how many times Jacob told me not to bring her to see him.

“Do you know what would happen if Edward came within even a foot of me, Bella? If any of them did, without my permission? I can’t control them, but I also can’t control Paul and what he might do to Edward in a dire situation like that. I’m sure you’ve seen what happens to vampires that come too close to wolves.”

Bella nods slowly, biting down on her bottom lip before squeezing her eyes shut and throwing her head back rather harshly against the seat.

“This was such a stupid idea, I’m so sorry I dragged you into it. I never wanted to put you in an uncomfortable position like this, Evan, I just..”

She drifts off, exhaling a tired breath before glancing out the passenger window, her long chocolate hair hanging like a veil around her face.

“You love him. Not just Edward, but you love..Jake, too, don’t you?”

I try to look over at her, to gauge her expression, but it’s a split second that I wish I could take back before my foot is slamming down on the brakes, rather harshly, and the SUV slides slightly over the asphalt before we tumble to a stop barely a foot away from Edward’s pale form in the road.

From the very few times I’ve seen and heard of him, it’s nothing compared to the sight that sits in front of me.

His eyes are the first thing I notice, a blazing amber color that reminds me of fire light, and it sends a chill straight down my spine at the fury that resides there, the utter anguish that drills straight into me before he dances to the side of my car, the side closest to Bella.

He’s a pale silhouette, a ghost of a man, his skin as milky white and gleaming as moonlight, but the only parts of it I see are the tight folds of his cheekbones, the harsh lines of his jaw, the furrowed forehead, and the long fingers that reach into my car toward Bella Swan.

“You’re not supposed to be here. We just passed the treaty line, you know.”

And she is right, as my eyes feel the change in atmosphere, the steady hum of the wolves drilling around me, the electric bolt of fascination and aggression as the whisper of the intruder sky rockets through the trees.

“You have to leave,” I urge him sternly, turning to Edward; “I know you don’t know me that well, but you have to leave. You have to leave right now, Edward.”

Bella shoots me a shocked look, before a wave of recognition washes over her features, and she half shoves him out of the car.

“Please, go. Please, you need to go, where it’s safe.”

But it’s too late.

I spot Sam erupt from the trees behind him, followed closely by Embry and Quil.

Jake and Paul come scurrying out from my side, Paul half tearing open my door; his shaking fingers fumbling with my seatbelt before he leans over to shut my music off.

Bella, without thinking, does the same thing, and there is a very territorial sound that rumbles deep in Paul’s chest at the action, a noise that makes Bella pull back quickly.

“You’ve crossed treaty lines,” Sam says accusingly, folding his arms tightly across his chest before Edward turns slowly to face him.

In height, Sam and Edward are pretty close, almost head to head, but next to me all the wolves are scary large, almost a daunting height over me.

“You know, this is about as much idiocy as I can deal with today. Do you happen to have anything else rather stupid up your sleeve, Evan, or will it be another surprise?”

Rolling my eyes, I unlatch my seatbelt with ease before pushing him out of the way to get out of the car; slamming the door behind me before blocking Bella out of view.

“Don’t growl at my friends,” I threaten through my teeth, “Bella didn’t do anything wrong. Maybe if Jacob decided to answer a phone call every once in a damn while, I wouldn’t have to go up against a pack of wolves and a family of vampires to help her.”

My eyes drift toward Edward, but he’s already looking back at me, as if listening in on the conversation, and I sense the gratification from him through his body language.

But that, about, does it for Paul.

“Don’t look at my girl, leech, or so help me, I will tear your eyes right out of their sockets.”

“Paul,” Jake says quietly, grabbing his shoulder, “let’s take it down a bit, okay? Let me go talk to Bella and just get this sorted out. Then Edward can take her back home, and you can have a conversation with Evan PRIVATELY, not in the middle of the road.”

Paul inhales sharply, shutting his eyes just as Jake moves around us and heads toward the conversation happening with Sam and Edward across the road.

I notice, for the first time, Bella has gotten out and is standing behind Edward, his arm draped across her waist protectively, and it makes a warm feeling circulate inside of my system.

“I told you to leave Isabella Swan alone. It was a simple task. All you had to do was avoid her, not speak to her, just not go near her at all. And what do you do? You show up with her, and her vampire boyfriend, might I add, on the reservation after you told me you were meeting me at your house for a movie night. You not only lied to me, but you went behind my back and did something I told you not to do. You put yourself in jeopardy for a vampire lover.”

“For Bella,” I correct him, “for a friend that needed me. If someone from the pack needed you and I told you not to talk to them, would you still help them?”

“That’s insanely different. Bella is not part of your pack. She is absolutely nothing to you. But me? Jake, Sam, Quil, Embry? We’re your family now. It’s our job to keep you safe. What I would have done to her if something had happened to you because of her stupidity...I can’t even tell you. You are my family. You’re my priority. Not her, not the Cullens, not any of them. You are. Do you not get that?”

Sucking in a sharp breath, I release it slowly before nodding, folding my arms tightly across my chest to hide the shivers rocketing through me.

I suddenly realize how cold it really is, and the steam of the rain droplets as they hit Paul’s shoulder blades under the canopy of trees.

“I know, but I just..I wanted to help her, Paul. I mean, what if she really does end up choosing Jake? What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t help her make the right choice, the sane choice? I would be letting her die, for nothing.”

Paul shakes his head before pulling me in tightly against his chest, tucking my head loosely under his chin, and he smells heavenly, of a mix of pine and cinnamon and rain that washes perfectly over the folds of his muscles.

I fit perfectly in his arms, as I always do, safe and warm, and in no time the shivering stops, just like it always does, and I can hear the steady sound of his heart thumping under my ear.

His lips press into the ruffles of my hair, his fingers running loosely over the back of my parka, and I’ve never felt safer in my entire life.

“I know you want to help her, but she’s beyond saving, Ev. You can’t do anything more for her. You just have to let it all play out how it’s supposed to, you know what I mean?”

Twisting around in his arms so my back is against his chest, his fingers tracing circles across my abdomen, I watch as Jake and Bella talk to each other, the conversation too low for me to hear, but the way his eyes stare urgently into hers, like two puzzle pieces fitting together, I wonder what kind of life Bella could have with him.

What a safer life she would have.

“I know you’re right, I just-“

But just then, I find myself looking at Edward once again, his eyes glancing between Bella and Sam, and I realize, for a split second, how different his gaze is toward the small, round eyed girl, as opposed to Jake’s.

There’s something territorial in his eyes, something I’ve seen so many times in Paul’s own gaze toward me; a gaze thick with adrenaline, grounding, a surge of willpower and passion that melts together in his irises like a fire dancing through the tree line.

It’s a blazing kind of look, nothing gentle or boyish about it, but rather romantic; full of longing and need and something animalistic, something inhuman.

Now I know why she’s in love with him.

Sometimes, you just know what love is, and where it’s coming from, and I feel the flood of warmth as Paul leans down and kisses my cheek gently before tickling my sides.

I don’t know about her all that much, but I know at least for me, it wasn’t about who I chose, it was about who chose me.

Love just does it all for you, sometimes.

[dollfaceeeeee]

Am I ever gonna stop being in love with the same man?

Absolutely tf not look at him.😩❤️😭

[dollfaceeeeee]

i know what it’s like to be afraid of your own mind.

Once my vision begins to swim back into focus, I realize quickly that my range of motion is limited, much more limited than it should be; my head barely able to stay upright as I attempt to scan the room around me.

It’s just as dark and dirty as it was when Derek and I came across it yesterday, and the flickering lightbulb overhead scatters across the pool of blood that sits near my feet, dripping off the end of my fingertips.

I’m not too sure what happened to Morgan, but I know the bastard came up on me fast and hard when we separated, and it was a critical mistake, one I shouldn’t have made.

At least I know that the rest of the BAU knows where to find me, but the pool of blood signifies something worse, something that might come before they get here.

If I’m bleeding out, which I very well might be, with how heavy and foggy my body is, I might never see Spencer again.

The tears come fresh and hot to my eyes, and begin to pour down my cheeks just as I hear movement somewhere across the room; something scraping and scratching against the floor, likely some mice scampering for food.

Oh no.

“Ana? Ana, can you hear me?”

Relief pours through me almost as quickly as a surreal state of hopelessness as I realize that Morgan is here with me, probably in the same state of panic and desperation as I am.

His voice rings out clear in the space around us, bringing me back into focus as I try yet again at the binds around my wrists, attempting to break free.

“Yeah...yeah I...can..”

My voice comes out slowly, and almost sounds like someone that is half asleep; dazed and confused, but I know that I’m awake, I have to be awake.

I have to see Spencer again.

I can’t, I won’t, die here.

“Are you alright? Are you hurt?”

Attempting to sort myself out, trying to locate the source of the bleeding, I realize it’s coming from a large, sallow gash near my shoulder, and the blood seems to pour out of it like a fountain; a definitive source of concern for someone in this situation.

“I’m bleeding pretty..badly,” I respond, trying to take deep breaths in through my mouth, forcing myself to find some sort of focus.

I’m not too sure how long I’ve been bleeding for, or how much longer I have left, but it’s evident with the foggy nature of my mind and the heaviness in my limbs that it’s not long.

“How bad?”

Looking back at the pool of blood near my feet, I estimate I’ve lost close to a quarter of my blood, maybe more.

“Pretty bad. I’m surrounded by my own blood.”

I can hear the panic in my voice at the statement, even though I’ve been trained for situations like this before; to keep my cool until help comes, to slow my heart rate so the blood doesn’t flow as harshly out of my open wound.

“I’m guessing, by the sound of it, you’ve probably been shot. Is it in a dangerous area, near any major arteries, organs?”

“No, no,” I say sharply, “it’s my shoulder.”

I can hear Morgan take a deep breath in the silence, his breath steady, unlike my own, before I hear that scraping and rattling noise once again.

“They’re coming for us, okay? I’m going to try and break out. Stay awake, talk to me. What did you eat for breakfast this morning?”

I try to recount what I had to eat, but I realize I didn’t eat anything, because I was running late from sleeping over at Spencer’s and we had to rush in for the new briefing.

“I didn’t eat anything,” I conclude, “Spence and I were running late for the briefing, and I didn’t want to stop for a muffin on the way and get in trouble with Hotch.”

The scraping stops, just for a second, before I hear Morgan swear softly in the darkness, and it makes my throat go dry.

“Okay, that’s alright. Tell me how it’s been going with Reid.”

My vision goes foggy again, and I blink rapidly to try and keep my eyes open, but it’s a difficult task, even when I begin to think of Spencer and how devastated he will be if I give up.

Exhaling a breath, I press my nails into the palms of my hands, trying to find a way to keep myself alert, trying to collect my thoughts.

“Ana? Keep talking to me. Please keep talking to me.”

“S-sure..sure...Spencer and I are pretty intimate now, I guess. I’m not too sure if he loves me though, he hasn’t said it yet, but I know that I love..him. I love him. And I hope he does too.”

I hear Morgan wrestling with his binds, wrestling with them hard, becoming agitated and restless and panicked by the state I’m in.

I’ve always seen Morgan as an older brother, my best friend at the BAU, besides Garcia of course, and I don’t think I’ve kept any secrets from him, not since I’ve started this job.

They are all the best partners I could have ever asked for, and now here I am, about to die.

“He does. Of course he does, baby, how could he not? You’re incredible. He’s been in love with you since he’s met you. You’re all he ever talks about. He would do anything and everything for you. Just because he hasn’t said it doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel it. We all love you. Garcia, Hotch, Emily, JJ, me...Reid..”

I can tell he’s getting frustrated, more and more as he continues, and I can also tell I’m fading more and more, because it’s becoming harder and harder to stay focused.

Some of his words sink in, while others don’t quite settle, and all I can manage out is a mangled mess of sounds and words that sound out of place to me.

I don’t know if it’s the shock, or the gunshot wound, but something is pulling me away from here, something that is getting more and more aggressive in the dark.

Letting my eyes slide shut, I try to process why everything seems so hard right now.

Why can’t I just give in, just let go; why do I always have to be this strong, brave agent, risking it all for everyone around me?

Why can’t I just do one thing for myself, one thing that’s easy, one thing that could help me over everyone else.

But life can’t always play the easy cards, and I’m not too sure my brain will ever give in to the easy way out.

Suddenly, I hear the loud, shrill sound of a wooden door slamming open, and then someone’s hands are on me, and there’s yelling in my ears, yelling from somewhere far away, somewhere I need to get to.

“Get me out of these damn things,” Morgan yells, and before I realize what is happening I can smell his familiar scent of evergreen and peppermint in my face, like a slap of perfume hitting me square in the eyes.

“Don’t let Reid in here.”

Reid?

My Reid?

“Ana? Is she okay? Is she okay, Derek?!”

Oh, God, it’s Reid.

“She is breathing,” an unfamiliar voice says, “but she’s lost a lot of blood. She is in pretty critical condition.”

“Let me through,” Reid growls, and before long I can feel his familiar fingers against my skin, smelling his aftershave and the lingering scent of coffee on his flesh.

I’d know him from anywhere.

“Reid, Reid you need to get out of here.”

“I’m not leaving her,” Spencer snaps, “she needed me, and I wasn’t there for her. I’m not doing that again. I have to know she’s safe.”

“She is safe now,” Morgan says gently, “she is-“

“If you can hear me, Ana, I’m so sorry. I love you, I love you so much. I’m here now, I’m not leaving you.”

He loves me.

I can almost feel like I can breath again, and I pull in a sharp breath just as I force my eyes open once again, and I focus right on the warm brown irises of none other than Spencer Reid.

My Reid.

Smiling tiredly, I revel in the feel of his hands squeezing my own, his warm skin heating up my own.

“I love you too.”

[dollfaceeeeee]

What it would be like to have Spencer Reid as a partner..🥺💓

My soft bean. That is all.

He is an intensely captivating person, so don’t take him lightly. He has levels upon levels of personalities inside of him that will most likely surprise you. The side of him that holds his anger, for one, surprised the hell out of me, and scared me just a bit too.

He may be one of the most awkward people you might ever meet, but it’s so adorable you won’t even care. When he rambles on about everything and anything, all you will want to do is just sit and listen. And trust me, it will fluster him just a bit.

He is one of the most fiercely loyal people you will ever know. He will drop anything and everything at any time for you, whether it’s something as silly as you just feeling uncomfortable at a bar. He will prove his loyalty over and over, so make sure you give him the same in return.

He’s not a secretive person, not at all, but when it comes to the job he will keep that from you at all costs if he thinks you can’t handle it. Some things should just stay buried, and it’s almost as painful for him to talk about it as much as it is to ask about it. Leave that part of him alone. Be his peace, okay? He needs it.

He is a MAJOR book nerd, and reads books at insane speeds that even I can’t keep up with. His brain is firing on all cylinders at any given point throughout the day. He will remember shit, shit you don’t even recall telling him, but man he is insanely good at that. And don’t worry, he will remind you if you’ve forgotten. He is a sweetheart like that.

He has a bit of an OCD problem, and likes to have his stuff folded and coordinated a certain way. Just don’t touch any of his clothes, please. It will drive him crazy, and you will just feel bad about it. However, his books are free reign. I think he slightly loves seeing you reading his books, honestly.

He drinks coffee like a fiend, so if you get up earlier than him, which is unlikely, but if you do, just start a pot of coffee for him. For reference, it’s one cream, two sugars, and he likes it most in his Crazy Sock Man mug you go him for Christmas two years ago. He says that it just always makes sure he has a good day, but I think it just reminds him of you. Whatever the case, he will love you for it.

You don’t know what to get him for a birthday or Christmas gift? Socks, ties, books, scarves, or coffee mugs. Make sure you pick out the craziest ones you can find, but with everything BESIDES the ties. You might find it cute to get him the candy cane tie, but Hotch might find it severely inappropriate. I’ve learned my lesson, so if you want to try, go for it. You will learn too.

He will tell you he loves you any chance he can, because, in his words, there is no saying when the last time will be the last time in his line of work. Appreciate that boy for the insanely good person he is, and never miss a phone call or text from him. And never forget to say I love you back. Never.

The team means the world to him, and so do you, so just try and make an effort to spend time with them too. He won’t ask it of you, so don’t feel pressured, but doing it because you want to will make him so happy. Especially Derek. I think he might be his favorite, but don’t tell the others.

He showers obsessively, so he will always smell clean and fresh, like detergent, coffee, peppermint, and this cologne he swears by that has a very light citrus scent. He will never come home from a job and not shower before seeing you, so even if he’s in there for a long time, don’t worry, he may just need some time to process the job. It’s okay to let him decompress. He isn’t going anywhere, I promise.

He doesn’t use pet names most of the time, but I’ve caught him using babe and sweetheart once or twice. Don’t think of it that he doesn’t love you, he just likes to use your name. He is a very formal gentleman, and that isn’t going to change.

He is both a verbal lover and a physical one, which makes him the complete package. He will recite paragraphs from Pride and Prejudice to you, leave little notes for you around the house before he leaves for work, and tell you how gorgeous you look in blue, but he will also reach across the table and hold your hand at dinner, pull you in for a hug after a hard day at work and just keep you there for a while, and fall asleep on your chest to the sounds of Star Trek coming from the TV. Just run your fingers through his hair and watch him for just a little while. Put it to memory, if you can. There will be many nights you will wish he was beside you and not working a job.

Making set plans is hard for him, given what he does for a living as an FBI agent, so you have to have a high level of patience with him. Don’t get upset when he has to cancel more than once, because he really has no control over it. When crime calls, he follows. Trust me though, he will always make it up to you.

There is nothing to ever be jealous of when you’re with him. He is never going to look in another woman’s direction, much less do anything to make you feel jealous, because he’s already more than happy with what he has. However, he is a very jealous person when it comes to you, so make sure you don’t give him the satisfaction of having to curse out anyone for you. He will do it, believe me, and he will enjoy it more than you think.

Contrary to popular belief, he has a very harsh temper, and he will fly off the handle with certain things. Don’t test his patience, because you will be surprised how thin the line is between his good side and his bad side. He doesn’t take kindly to shit that makes him mad, including you.

I wouldn’t say he is overprotective, but he will definitely be overbearing when it comes to your safety and well being. Remember, he knows the kind of people that are out there, the monsters behind closed doors, and has seen them more than once. Trust him when he tells you to not do something, or go somewhere without him. He isn’t being controlling, he just wants you to be safe. He will never feel like you’re safe outside of the house unless he’s with you.

Sadly, he isn’t big about pets, but he will take you to pet stores to pet any animal that you want, whenever you want. Just don’t think he will allow any at home. He hates pet hair on his clothes, and is kind of selfish about his time with you and only you. It’s silly, I know, but just trust me.

He will teach you what to do in dire situations, how to act around predators, and how to stay calm when you’re afraid. Don’t be scared of this, because he will never let anything happen to you, but just take it into consideration that things like this can happen when you’re with him. Be vigilant, pay attention to what he says, and never take it as a joke.

His personality varies on what kind of day he has had, but normally he is a very silly, gentle kind of person. He does have a harsher side, as I’ve said, but he does like to play pranks, crack jokes, and just goof off with you all the time. It’s his way of making himself feel better, so just play along with him. It’s a big coping mechanism for him, and he will use it often.

As much as he is awkward, he is a steady partner, someone you can rely on with even the stupidest doubts, and will always listen no matter what. He will love you unconditionally, and will stick by you even if you feel like the entire world is against you. Don’t take him for granted.

[dollfaceeeeee]

There is something different about it.

The inescapable rush of water as it surges into your lungs, about the same second as your car hits the surface of the water; like a meteor shooting across space, an endless force before colliding straight into the atmosphere of an unlucky planet.

Your heart beats differently under that pressure, under that surge of adrenaline, and you want to live but everything is going down, down, down so fast and the clock is ticking by so slowly and your limbs are floating like you’re in some forgotten rocket ship somewhere.

My brain tries to connect to my arms, trying to force them into action, to unlatch my seatbelt and find a way out of the car but my lungs are barely holding on, and everything is so tired, and why can’t I just give in already?

Deep down, I know who ran me off the road, and I was just the unlucky bastard that decided to fight my boyfriend on yet another stupid thing in the middle of the night.

Stupid, stupid girl.

He will come looking for me, I know that, and he won’t stop until he finds me, so I have to live.

Emily, you have to live, damn it.

Reaching down, holding my breath, I try desperately to unclip the seatbelt tucked heavily across my chest, but it won’t budge, not an inch, and I realize with horror as the water begins to grow darker and darker around me as I surge into the depths below.

My ears begin to ring, and I know it’s a bad sign; my heartbeat pulsing in my head as I tug desperately at the seatbelt, before trying to yank the hunting knife tucked neatly into my belt out from its’ hiding place.

I watch as bubbles escape from my lips and float to the surface, and I wish, for a split second, it could be that easy for me, too, but I know it can’t.

Bringing the knife up, I begin to cut at the seatbelt, watching as it gratefully tears through it with ease, but I can already feel my breath floating away; the life slipping out of my fingers as my timer ticks down.

Just as I get the final pieces of the seatbelt off, I feel the exhaustion instantly kick in, and my body falls limp, my eyes sliding closed as I try to process the mistakes I’ve made so far.

Jesus, where to start?

I fell in love with another hunter, for one, the only one my father warned me about since day one.

Bobby Singer was always a man of his word, but his daughter, me, Emily Singer, never listened to him.

Falling in love with Dean was my first mistake.

My second one is thinking that the first one is a mistake at all.

Sighing, I can feel my mind fighting me to move, to break through the hold of the car and swim to shore, but I just can’t, I can’t do it.

I’m so tired of fighting.

What’s the point anymore?

I can feel myself drifting, my body beginning to feel weightless, at ease under the crushing weight of the water, and I know Dean won’t find me down here, and Sam won’t either.

I’m going to die down here.

But would that be so bad?

Sighing, I feel the last of my breath drag out of me, and something inside me shuts off, just for a second.

All I see is Dean.

Dean’s green eyes sparkling under the water, his hair like static around his head as he reaches for me desperately, pain laced in his features, and I almost want to reach for him, but I can’t.

I can’t move.

Just then, from somewhere far away, there’s an odd crashing sound directly in my left ear before there’s hands on me, tugging on me rather roughly, holding me so tight I’m sure the remaining breath in my lungs has surely dissipated.

Until my head collides with the surface.

There’s so many noises and motions I don’t know what to comprehend; splashing, breathing in my ear, gentle lips against my temple, my back hitting something hard and warm, calloused hands rubbing my shoulders, wide knees supporting my small head, and the smell of grease and gunpowder that I can only imagine belongs to Baby.

“Come on, sweetheart, you gotta give me something here. Please. Breathe, come on, damn it. Breathe.”

Heavy hands press against my chest, calloused and rough through the fabric of my soaked T-shirt, but I know that voice.

I’d know that voice anywhere.

I can hear the pain in his words almost as clearly as I can hear the water dripping off his skin, and feel his hot breath fanning against my face as he leans down to give me mouth to mouth.

As always, the fresh taste of spearmint and beer saturates the back of my throat, but I can’t bring myself to move, or to force my aching lungs back into motion.

I’m not so sure they ever will again.

“I need you to do one god damn thing for me, for once, Emily. Christ, I just need...I need you to come back to me. You can’t die on me now, not here, not after...”

His hands move more forcefully, pushing the water up into my throat before it’s spitting out from my lips like a fountain, and my lungs explode into motion to alleviate the threat of the water coating them.

Everything around me begins to shake, throbbing in an aching pattern of uncontrollable shivers, and I realize with horror that it’s my body that’s behaving this way, as the feel of the cold water slowly settles over my skin for the first time.

Hands pull me upright into a sitting position until my back is against something hot and firm and dripping wet, but he still attempts to warm me anyway; his hands rubbing circles across my arms, trying to bring some warmth to my frozen body.

“Em, baby, you can hear me, right? Are you in pain? I’m going to take you to the hospital as soon as I can get you warm, but I need to know if you’re alright. You weren’t breathing for a while there. You scared the shit out of me.”

I’m not so sure I can speak, or I can catch my breath long enough to say anything, but my mind runs a mile a minute as I try to process what he’s saying.

Am I okay?

Nothing feels like it hurts, not necessarily, besides my lungs; they feel like they’re on fire right now, but my body seems to be in correct working order, and I move my legs and arms slightly just to be sure.

Luckily, everything seems to be fine, there.

Attempting to push wet strands of hair from my face, I just try to control my breathing as I nod in assurance, staring out at the dark spiraling river of water laid out in front of us.

My favorite car, my dad’s car, is under there.

“Okay, good, that’s good. Alright, I’ll call Sam on the way, let him know I found you. Do you think you can stand on your own? You’re shaking pretty bad, and I’m not so sure you’re even aware of that.”

“I..I know,” I mumble, my teeth slamming together painfully before I twist around to look at him.

Green eyes, bright as Autumn apples, stare back at me under a layer of long, dark eyelashes, and he looks taken back for a moment with the movement before his hands reach up to cup my cheeks.

Blazing heat spirals out from his fingertips, and I relish in it for a moment, before his lips are on mine, breathing into me the same strong scent of beer and spearmint that I stick to memory, concealing it somewhere in the back of my mind, in a safe place, just in case.

His lips are soft, and his hand tangles in my hair for a moment before he pulls back slightly to lean his forehead against mine, his body now rocking uncontrollably.

“I thought..I thought you were gone. Seeing you under the water, floating like that, pale as a ghost and your eyes closed, I thought I was too late, and the water was so damn cold. I’m so sorry, sweetheart, that I wasn’t there to protect you. Once Cass got word of Michael’s plans, you were already gone, and you weren’t answering your cell, and..Sam and I got a bad feeling..”

Shaking my head, I reach forward tentatively to lace my fingers through his, and I watch as his mouth curls into a relieved smile before I find myself doing the same.

“I’m r...really sorry,” I say through my teeth, trying to force myself to relax, but I can’t; the soft breeze blowing straight through my drenched clothes and wet hair.

Dean reaches up to tuck a loose piece of hair behind my ear, nodding slowly, making bubbles of water shake from his hair, before he presses a tentative kiss against my forehead; his hot breath fanning against my cool skin.

“I know, Em, I know. And I’m going to kill that son of a bitch once I know you’re alright. Do you think you can stand?”

I’m sure I can, but as I pull myself to my feet, everything around me shifts and I wilt back into Dean’s outstretched arms, my body much more exhausted than I anticipated.

I laugh loosely at the action, but Dean doesn’t join in; his arms reaching under me to lift me and pull me in against his chest, his eyebrows furrowed together over his eyes as he climbs the soft incline to Baby.

She’s running, purring gently from the road, and Dean unlatches the passenger door before sliding me inside; reaching over me to turn on the heat before grabbing the blanket from the back seat, the one that belongs to Sam.

“Dean, I’m..I’m fine,” I state stubbornly, but he ignores me as he tucks the blanket around me tightly and gives me a quick kiss on the lips once again.

“Shut up for once, will you? Let me take care of you.”

His gaze is piercing, flowing over me with relief and concern that mixes together in a dizzying array, and I know he’s fighting back the urge to break down.

I wasn’t sure if he loved me before, but I am now, and I reach up to run my fingers against his cheek; his eyes closing at the action as he takes a deep breath.

“You know I love you, right, Dean?”

Dean smiles, his eyes staying shut before he grabs my hand and presses his lips against my palm gingerly, almost as if he’s afraid I might break.

Once his eyes open again, I’m scared to ever look away from them again, afraid he could slip away from me almost as easily as he could have minutes ago, and deep down, I’m sure he feels the same.

I love him so much it’s going to kill me.

“Me too, baby,” he says softly, winking at me, “me, too.”

[dollfaceeeeee]

It was oddly silent, save for the ever constant dripping of water from the old, rusted pipes circling the rooms around us.

The moonlight canvased the old cement floors like a hawk, watching our every move, making the long blade of Dean’s knife glitter dangerously in the darkness.

Sam crept along quietly behind us, his knife coated in dead man’s blood, like all of our blades were, but he kept a close eye on the hallway behind us in case of an ambush.

“Happy Anniversary,” Dean says bitterly, shooting me a stiff smile as I move through the dark; rolling my eyes at his attempt to make amends.

He hadn’t remembered a damn anniversary for the last three years of our relationship.

“Did you forget again? I told you to mark it somewhere so you wouldn’t forget. Damn it, Dean, you always do this.”

“Hey,” Dean whispered harshly, twisting to glare at Sam, “shut your pie hole, Sammy.”

In the distance, I could hear the gentle rattling of metal, scraping against the concrete before a shadow darted across the hallway, making me fall back a step; knocking straight into Sam.

Dean looked at me quizzically, concern etched on his features as Sam gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze, as if to say that he was there, that I was safe.

I was more than safe in the hands of the Winchesters.

“They’re just up ahead. Let’s finish this quick so I have time to buy my girl a drink, okay, Sammy?”

“I don’t think a drink is going to make anything better, but sure thing, Dean.”

As I start to move toward the noise, Dean’s arm darted out in front of me, blocking my path; his green eyes glistening in the dark.

“Where do you think you’re going, Em?”

I gestured to the hallway ahead of us, raising an eyebrow, but he just mirrored my expression, as if questioning my sanity.

“Listen, guys, we don’t have time for-“

Out of nowhere, a black shape slammed into Sam’s tall, iron form, knocking him into the cement floor with a strength I’d never seen before.

This was my first time hunting vampires, my first time seeing them in action, and they were much different from demons, let me tell you.

Dean moved fast, shoving me behind him, boxing me in between his body and the wall before slicing off the vampire’s head in one swift movement.

Sam panted from the floor, trying to find his footing to get back up, but it didn’t matter much before we heard the thunderous sound of a dozen vampires coming straight toward us.

“Well, that’s just great. We had a damn plan, to quietly ambush, and now we’re going to be lunch meat.”

“Lunch meat,” I snorted, making Sam and Dean both give me a concerned look, but I ignored it, giving my blade a twirl under the moonlight.

I loved the feel of the blade in my hand, the hilt fitting comfortably in my grip, and I took my stance between the boys as we faced off with the vampires.

They moved toward us with grace, and accuracy, almost becoming a part of the darkness; looping together in a mess of teeth and limbs that mixed in a dizzying array around us.

I could feel Sam’s shoulder pressing into my left side, Dean’s into my right, and I stood there rigidly as the vampires charged toward us.

Lunch meat was definitely the right words for this.

The boys moved swiftly, like any hunter would, assembling us in a tightly knit circle as each of us pierced our blades into the vampires, coating their insides in dead man’s blood, the one secret that killed any vampire.

I could feel the sweat pouring down my back as I moved, slashing and stabbing and moving in tune with the rhythm of Hells Bells by AC/DC in my head, something I knew Dean would be proud of, if he was aware of it.

The internal rhythm helped ease my anxiety about the situation, and before long we finished them off, each of us panting over the hunt before I shoved my blade back into the holster latched onto my leg.

“Well, this was the most interesting anniversary we have had so far,” I say breathlessly, making Dean chuckle behind me before I watch Sam move into the shadows, in the direction of where the vampires came from.

“Last year was pretty fun, too. I panicked and thought I missed Christmas, and I was up for twelve hours straight decorating the night before only for you to tell me it was August 16th, remember? Still, giving you that engraved machete was my top favorite gift I’ve ever given you, minus the cheeseburgers from Samson’s in Detroit.”

I couldn’t help but smile at the statement, pulling Dean in for a quick kiss on the lips, smelling the musky scent of pine and leather on his skin, and I know he’s the safest place for me on this planet.

Even if he forgets our anniversary every damn year.

Sam erupted a moment later, coming out of the darkness as he wiped the blood from his knife on his pants, eyeing the mess of bodies surrounding us in the old abandoned warehouse.

“It looks like we’re all clear. That’s the entire nest. Good job on the tracking for this one, Emily. I’ll have to buy you a drink too.”

Dean smirked, giving Sam a rough pat on his shoulder before leading us out of the warehouse, his heavy footfalls echoing off the cold cement of the building.

“No way in hell, Sam. I’m buying tonight. How about Samson’s burger joint again, for old times’ sake, sweetheart? With the extra mustard and onions, right? I’ll even share a slice of pie with you.”

“Get a room,” Sam huffed, making Dean erupt in laughter as we exit out into the clear, moonlight evening along the quiet country road in Michigan.

I was tired, to be honest, but the thought of pie made my stomach rumble angrily, and I nodded eagerly at the idea as we made our way toward Dean’s car.

Baby, Dean’s 1967 Chevy Impala, gleamed beautifully under the midnight sky, and as we all hopped in, I couldn’t help but wonder how different my life would have been if I wasn’t here, with them.

Out of nowhere, a hand crossed the front seat to grab my hand, and it made me jump before Dean brought it to his lips, giving it a gentle kiss before resting our entwined hands on the gearshift.

“Is Samson’s alright with you?”

Staring out the windshield, watching the trees fly by, and Sam groaning painfully from the backseat at our public affection, I nodded once again at the idea.

I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else than right here, right now.

“Samson’s is alright with me.”

[dollfaceeeeee]

What it would be like to have Dean Winchester as a partner..🥺🖤

I don’t make the rules. He’s adorable as hell.

He hates secrets, so make sure you’re aware that you don’t keep any from him. He’s very, very good at reading people, much better than he gives himself any credit for, and you will either learn that the easy way, or the hard way. It’s your call.

He’s loyal to the end, and although he may seem like a flirt, once he has someone he genuinely loves and cares about, he could care less about any woman that’s around him. It’s an admirable attribute of his, because he does get hit on often, but when he only has eyes for you, he ONLY has eyes for you.

His brother, Sam, means the world to him, so make sure you find a connection with him just as much as you do with Dean. Luckily, Sam is super easy and laid back, and massively sweet, so that should be an easy task.

He prefers date nights at home, with a box of pizza or a bucket of chicken wings, but if you want to go out somewhere, he will make no move to object. Just make sure the place has pie, and he won’t complain. That man can eat a live cow and be happy, so long as it’s with you.

He’s a major animal lover, and is not picky about it. Cats, dogs, snakes, lizards, whatever. If it’s something that makes you happy, get them all. He will just send Cass to feed them when you guys are on a hunt.

Teaching you how to fight is sort of a love language for him, and it means a lot to him if you actually pay attention, and not goof off. Your safety is super important to him, so make the effort to make him feel more at ease in case a hunt goes wrong.

His car, Baby, a 1967 Chevy Impala, is sacred to him, but he will both allow you to choose the music, AND occasionally drives when he gets tired. Not even Sam gets those opportunities often, so don’t fuck it up.

He loves a good whiskey, or a beer, so if you can drink, it’s a good trait to him. If you can keep up with HIS drinking? Even better.

He can be sweet when he wants to be, and is a major lover boy, trust me. He loves to be babied; shoulder rubs, back massages, him laying his head on your chest, playing with his hair, showering together after a hunt, feeding him pie when he’s driving, the whole ordeal. He’s a big softie, no matter how much he denies it. Believe me, he is.

If you ever get cold, he will always lend you whatever jacket he’s wearing, and it will always smell like him. Bourbon, pine, gunpowder, and woodsmoke. It might not sound like a good combination, but trust me, it works.

Quality time with you matters most to him, so even though he likes to be at home any chance he can, in bed with some pizza, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like to surprise you with a late night drive to the beach with a blanket and a cooler filled with beer. With him, anywhere seems like paradise, even a shabby beach in Georgia.

He will go with you anywhere, and I mean anywhere. Wherever you are, he will follow. He doesn’t trust you anywhere alone, or anywhere without him, so expect that clingy nature from him. It may get on your nerves at times, but he will never back down from that, no matter how you feel. Just accept it.

He’s not a morning person, but he appreciates it every time if you surprise him with a pot of coffee already made for him on the counter, or even breakfast, if you’re a good cook. He appreciates the simple things, so even if you don’t think that’s enough for him, believe me, it’s more than enough.

There will be many times he will want you to stay at home, especially on crazier hunts. I know you will want to fight him, and fight him hard, but don’t. He’s lost so many people, and he can’t bear the thought of losing you. Just stay at home with Cass. Play chess, cards, research, anything. Just don’t put up a fight about that. It already kills him enough you’re a hunter too. Don’t make it harder.

He’s not big about texting, even though he will do it if he has to, but if you’re away from him he will almost always call you whenever he has a chance. He loves to hear your voice. It calms him, under the harsh stresses of the job, so just ramble about your day to him, it doesn’t really matter what it is. It’ll distract him, and he will be able to find a sense of peace from that.

He will always find it cute having you fight alongside him, no matter how much he will obsess about keeping you safe. It’s secretly his favorite thing about you.

He’s a major goofball, and will have you laughing about the dumbest shit constantly. When he needs to be serious, he will be, but when he’s being his normal, relaxed self? Be prepared for a man that loves Scooby Doo, Lion King, Dirty Dancing, and The Breakfast Club, along with being covered in grease from hours of working on Baby. When he gets excited, it’ll make you feel exactly the same.

He does gently snore, just very lightly, but don’t comment on it because it’s something that makes him slightly embarrassed. Don’t worry, you’ll probably find it as cute as I do.

His favorite pet names are sweetheart and baby, however he does use angel once in a while too, but not very often.

He’s a machine in the bedroom, let me tell you. He’s experienced, fierce, gentle, and passionate all in one. He’s a great lover, and will make you feel shit you’ve never felt before.

Besides the fact that he will chase you down and wipe grease from the engine of Baby all over you, and will kiss you even with pizza grease on his lips, he will make you fall in love hard and fast. Enjoy the ride. I know I do.

[dollfaceeeeee]

This has been the ultimate comfort video for me and my PTSD for months now. I miss them so much. 🥺

[dollfaceeeeee]

This chubby cheeked bastard makes me sick!

I'm in love with him...

[dollfaceeeeee]

How I imagine it would be like to have Bucky Barnes as a partner..🥺❤️

I think about this more often than I want to admit lol. This is also how he is like in my DR.

He’s not good with talking about his feelings, but he’s the best listener when you want to talk about yours. You have his full attention, every time, and you know he genuinely cares because he asks questions, and follows along.

If you have nightmares, or PTSD like I do, when it gets bad he makes your favorite tea with honey and sugar, and will sit up with you no matter how tired he is or how late it is to make sure you’re okay. He won’t go back to sleep before you do, and will sit and watch you sleep for just a little while, just to make sure you feel safe again.

He is the best cuddle partner. He will snuggle you all day, every day, if he could, and will absent mindedly kiss all over your face, in the creases of your neck, on the tips of your fingers, anywhere. He also gets really anxious if he wakes up without you next to him, because he likes to have you pressed up beside him, just in case.

He only sleeps closest to the door to make sure you’re protected, but maybe just a bit because you love to look out the window and see the sunrise and sunset throughout the day. There is almost always a pistol on the table next to the bed, and if there isn’t, there’s a knife under his pillow. He will never let anyone or anything hurt you.

You’re the most important thing to him, and he makes you feel that way all the time. He’s a physical lover, not a verbal one, so he shows his love with touch; kisses, hand holding, arm around the shoulders, tickling of the waist, braiding/playing with your hair, giving massages, reading to you, running you a bath, anything you ask, he will do. He’s kind of a simp, but it’s adorable, let me tell you.

He can’t cook for shit, but he really tries. When you’ve had a bad day with the Avengers, or on the job, he always tries to cook your favorite meals, whether it’s pasta, steak, chicken, or even if you’re a vegetarian. But there’s only one meal he has ever cooked that hasn’t burnt, or made you guys end up ordering take out, and that is macaroni and cheese. Still, the gesture itself makes your heart melt.

He loves to teach you how to fight, but he doesn’t like to have you in the middle of any action that the Avengers see. He will fight you about it, and hard, because you’re the love of his life, and if something happens to you out there he will believe it’s his fault. So anytime you’re forced on a mission, believe me if he doesn’t get to go with you, he will riot, and you will hear about it. Or, honestly, Steve will be the only other person he will trust with you.

You think he’s a dog person? Wrong. He’s a huge cat person. Dogs kind of freak him out, give off too much energy for him, and he really just enjoys the laid back nature of cats a lot more. If you don’t own cats, get one with him. Trust me, he will LOVE it so much.

He’s a hopeless romantic, so he likes to take you out on fancy dates any chance he can. Get all dressed up with him, have fun with it, maybe even go dancing for a bit with him. Don’t forget to share a dessert with him too. He loves pumpkin pie the most.

Don’t get me wrong, he loves having movie nights with you, but he just likes reading to you just a little bit more. He’s sort of a book worm, and will love it even more if you read with him and talk about the chapters with him, so if you haven’t read Lord of the Rings yet, make sure to get on that. Did I also mention he loves Pride and Prejudice?

He is the most over protective person you will ever be with. Some people may say that he’s being possessive, but he genuinely just cares a lot about you, had lost so many people, and wants to keep you safe. He prefers going out with you, just to keep an eye on you, but if you want girl time, make sure to bring Nat and Wanda. It’ll make him feel so much better, and more at ease, because at least he will know you will be safe. I mean, have you SEEN those two? Jesus.

He pet names for you, but he doesn’t wear them out. Baby, Doll, Sweetheart, and Princess are big ones, but they’re only heard once in a while, because he prefers saying your name. It’s the name of his favorite person ever, after all. And when he says I love you, trust me, it’s hard for him to say, so he means it, and loves you more than you know.

He’s old fashioned, in the broadest sense, so expect tons of days with him coming home with flowers and gifts for you, and sometimes even pastries from your favorite bakery around the corner. He knows you love those huge cinnamon rolls, and trust me, he pays attention when you say you do.

He doesn’t understand texting whatsoever, so he will mostly just call you if he needs something from you, or has to ask you any questions. It’s one of your favorite things about him.

Yes, he will absolutely dance with you in the kitchen to Elvis Presley at 3 AM in the dark by candlelight. No matter where, honestly.

If someone ever speaks down about you, or makes you upset in any way, he doesn’t let that stuff go. He’s a fighter, and a military boy, so when people upset you, it just infuriates the shit out of him. If they do it in front of you, it’ll be the worst day of their lives.

He is the most fiercely loyal human being you will ever be with. You will never worry about anything will him. No jealousy, no cheating, no secrets. He’s an open book, and won’t entertain anyone else. They aren’t worth the time. You might argue with him once in a while, but it’ll mostly feel like heaven. Trust me.

He can be a real sarcastic prick at times, and make some pretty snappy comments, but if he ever hurts your feelings unintentionally he will tear himself apart forever over it. He never wants to hurt you. Never.

[dollfaceeeeee]

Blindsided

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader

Word Count: 2.4k (wtf)

Warnings: angst

Summary: An angsty jealous Daryl fic.

A/N: i had a daryl era once and during that era i started writing this fic which has been nearly impossible to finish bc it was my first attempt at fanfic & felt too cringe. literally started this in the summer for a prompt challenge and i'm so relieved to finally get it out of my docs. anyways, lmk what you think! thanks @normanplusdaryl & @weretheones for hyping this up more than it probably should be.

It’s been a few months since you and the group arrived in Alexandria. The first couple of weeks, you all slept in the living room of a house Deanna assigned to you, despite her giving you plenty of options to split up more comfortably. You were all wary of what these new people really had in mind after living on the road for so long. After all the things you saw and went through, you learned not to get too comfortable. It was a hard adjustment, harder for some more than others. 

Eventually, most of the group got into the groove of working their respective jobs in the community. Well, jobs didn’t really exist anymore but things still needed to get done. And you wanted to see what this community was really about, what their intentions were. Slowly, more of you started to let your guard down. But there was one member of the group that still didn’t quite fit in. The one you were closest to, the one that always had your back - Daryl Dixon. 

You still didn’t have Daryl completely figured out. At first, he certainly seemed like an asshole you would’ve never associated with before everything went to shit — and that brother of his was a total nightmare. But the archer more than proved himself as the complete opposite of his brother in the time you knew him. The things you all went through on the road changed you, and they changed him too. You trusted him now — completely. Which is why you were worried about his lack of trying to fit in at the best shot you all had at normal. Daryl hadn’t seen a shower or change of clothes in god knows how long. He was always brooding, fixing up his bow and arrow, or going out on runs alone. He never came out to community events, which you couldn’t blame him for — they were certainly worth skipping out on minus the free food and drinks. 

It wasn’t easy for you to fit in either, at first. You weren’t exactly the most approachable person — you and Daryl both had that in common. But once you saw everyone else in your group fulfilling their roles you figured you’d give it all a shot. Rick all but begged both of you to, except you were the only one that actually listened. You joined Abraham and a few others at the guardpost, switching turns throughout the days and nights. It wasn’t the best job in the world, and most of the time it was mind-numbingly boring. But it was still better than what life was like just a few weeks ago, and hearing Abraham’s hilarious quips wasn’t the worst way to spend your day. It’s also where you met Nick.  

Nick was an unexpected surprise. Honestly, you didn’t look twice when you saw him at the guardpost for the first time. Sure, he was attractive — whatever. None of that stuff mattered anymore. You had a job to focus on. An important one. You engaged in brief small talk with him, but that was all. Until one day, he came up to you at one of the ridiculous Alexandria parties and something clicked. 

You were in the middle of your mission to steal as many drinks as possible before anybody noticed when the man unexpectedly interrupted you. You assumed that he would be stuck up and that he had lived in this gated community this whole time. That he was just another weak man. But he surprised you that night, with his humor and his admission that he wasn’t always an Alexandria resident. 

He made fun of Deanna’s aggravating sons to try and get you to open up, and later you both played a silly game where you invented backstories for everyone at the party. You couldn’t help but let out a few chuckles with the guy. He said a lot of suspiciously nice things about you too and you couldn’t complain. When was the last time you heard things like that? You couldn’t even remember. It felt stupid letting your guard down even just for a little bit. It’s not like you trusted the guy already though, or like you were friends with him — you were just having fun, for the first time in what felt like forever. 

Relationships were stupid during the apocalypse, you thought. You loved your group, even the ones in relationships, but it didn’t mean you agreed with them. Which is the reason why when this thing with Nick developed into something more in the following few weeks, you chose not to label it. Things were fine as they were and you didn’t see the point. You had fun together, and you had a lot in common so conversation was always good. It was a welcome escape from all of the chaos outside of the walls, and that was that. 

One day, instead of taking your usual spot at the guardpost, Rick asked you to go out on a run with Daryl, Michonne, and Glenn. You happily agreed after what seemed like a lifetime of being bored at the post, save for when the few random walkers made an appearance. The mission was simple: to try and bring back as much food and medical supplies as possible.

As you all headed off scouting, you felt a strange tension with the archer. He barely even looked at or spoke to you, and yeah maybe that was just Daryl, but he usually always engaged in conversation with you no matter how minimal. It felt like he was deliberately avoiding you as much as possible even though you were standing right next to each other. Awkward. Whatever, maybe you were overthinking. You decided to focus on the task at hand and maybe, just maybe, have a talk with him later. But realistically, you knew the thought was incredibly intimidating. 

During the run, you made a huge mistake. One that almost cost you your life and even worse —  resulted in less food and supplies to bring back to Alexandria. Michonne and Glenn were understanding, they were just glad you were okay. But Daryl on the other hand, was beyond pissed. If looks could kill, you were certain you’d be dead by now. When you finally got a second alone with him on the way back to Alexandria, you mustered up the courage to ask him what the hell was going on. You made a dumb mistake sure, but everyone did at some point. Trying as best as possible not to fidget and look as nervous as you felt, you walked up to him. 

“Daryl...are you alright?” you said. Fuck, you sounded stupid. This was going to go much worse than you thought. He met your gaze and scoffed, sarcastically repeating your question back to you —  “Am I alright? You gotta be kiddin.” Your stomach sank, never having experienced his wrath firsthand before. You were at a loss for words. But still, you went on explaining yourself to him. That you just wanted to make sure he was doing okay after what happened on the run, and reassure him that you were fine. He still squinted at you in disbelief, like he couldn’t believe anything you were saying. Like you were missing something. When he resumed what he was doing as if you weren’t even there, you snapped. His attitude pushed you to raise your voice louder than intended. 

“What the hell is wrong with you? I’m fine. I survived. So why are you so goddamn angry?” 

This set him off. He walked towards you in a rage, his muscles tense. If you didn’t trust the man with your life, you would’ve been scared. You backed away with your eyes widened, and you were transported for a moment back to the man you knew at the quarry. But similar to him, you were fearless when you were angry and so you continued, “Even before I got hurt, you were giving me the cold shoulder. So tell me what the hell is going on!”

“Maybe if you weren’t so fuckin’ busy, this wouldn’t have happened,” he spat out. “What are you talking about -” you tried to respond before he cut in again, “You’ve been real distracted is all.” His tone cut like a knife, full of burning anger that you couldn’t explain. He turned to walk away before you could say anything else, and you? You were just confused. Furious at how he was treating you after what you went through. Couldn’t he give you a break? You yelled after him, “What the FUCK, Daryl!” - but he didn’t turn back. 

The next few days you stayed over at Nick’s house, dreading facing the archer again after the big blowout. Your group wasn’t happy about it at first, but somehow you managed to convince them that it was safe. That he was trustworthy. Even if you didn’t believe it fully just yet.

 One night while laying in bed and talking, he asked you about Daryl. He wondered why you hadn’t talked to him in the last week, noticing you had been avoiding him. You decided to loosely explain things to him, leaving out his exact words. And Nick, the sweet, hopeful man that he was - urged you to visit Daryl the next day and work things out with him, because he knew how much he meant to you. So, you agreed — and you spent the next few hours wide awake thinking about what you could possibly say to your best friend that hated your guts right now. 

But overthinking for hours on end wasn’t going to cut it. You couldn’t stand the anticipation leading into the next morning, so you got yourself up and headed outside in the middle of the night. 

As you walked past all the Alexandrian houses, you felt your stomach churning with anxiety. You didn’t even really know why he was so angry at you. Well, maybe you did know. But the idea felt foolish, and you didn’t want to face it right now. 

There it was. The place you called home the last few months, where your family laid to rest every night. It already felt out of place being there after an entire week, but you braced yourself with courage and headed towards the stairs. As you hesitantly tried to twist the doorknob, a voice startled you in place. 

Daryl was sitting on a bench at the edge of the porch, barely noticeable. You awkwardly greeted each other, and you were both met with the same answer when asked by the other what you were doing up — neither of you could sleep. There was an awkward tension lingering in the air but you shoved away the desire to run from it and sat down next to him. After a few minutes of small talk followed by silence, you timidly asked him the question that had been running through your mind since your argument. 

“You don’t like him, do you?”

“What?” Daryl retorted. 

“You know…Nick” 

“Dunno what you’re talkin’ about,” he replied, looking away from you. 

“Seriously, Daryl?” you continued, irritated at his refusal to have this conversation with you. “I mean, come on, you’ve been an asshole to me for weeks. And what you said on our last run?” 

He still looked at you like you were crazy. Rolling your eyes you begrudgingly recounted to him, “Last week, you went off on me for being ‘busy’ and ‘distracted.’ You meant because of him, right?”

The archer’s demeanor softened and he chewed the inside of his lip. “It ain’t that I don’t like him. Just want ya to be careful is all,” he whispered. 

“I’m always careful, Daryl. You know that.” 

“Yeah, but ya got hurt this time,” he replied and you couldn’t stand his judgment anymore. 

“I’m fi-” you began before he cut you off with a question that shocked you to your core. “What the hell do ya even see in this guy?” his voice was soft as he looked down at the floorboards, if you weren’t seated so close to him you probably wouldn’t have been able to make it out. Still, you needed to make sure you weren’t hearing things, so on impulse, you asked him to repeat himself. 

“Nothin,’” was all he answered back. Stereotypical Daryl. You could punch him. 

“No, Daryl why does it matter to you?” you asked turning towards him in frustration. “You just said that it’s not that you don’t like him.” 

There was a brief pause as his expression subtly changed. He brought his eyes up to yours for a moment before uncomfortably shifting in his position, quickly looking away. Suddenly, it all clicked - his behavior over the last few weeks, your argument, all of the tension. You felt stupid for not realizing it after all this time. All you could say in your shock was, “Oh,” followed by a timid apology. 

"Why the hell do ya care if I like him or not, anyway?" the archer snapped, catching you off guard. Sighing, you explained to him that of course you cared about his opinion, he was your closest friend after all — in fact, you cared for his opinion more than anyone else’s in your group.

The energy between you shifted once again, Daryl narrowing his eyes at you. The realization dawned on him that you had noticed the very thing he fought hard to keep hidden from you all this time. It was written all over your face, and you could tell that he felt embarrassed by it. Neither of you knew what to do, so you sat in silence for a few minutes, gazing at the night sky until finally, you weakly said, “I didn’t know. I swear.” He chewed on the inside of his lip and shifted in his seat, visibly tensed about the situation, and in all your overwhelm at the realization, you decided to scoot in closer and carefully rest your head on his shoulder. 

He was stiff at first, not expecting the physical contact, but later relaxing into wrapping an arm around you. It felt good and it felt right, but after a while, you couldn’t help but feel like you were doing something wrong, especially with your new - you didn’t even know what to call it yet, friend - waiting for you in bed. You reluctantly suggested that you should leave and got yourself up. As you walked away, you swore you could feel him watching you. 

[dollfaceeeeee]

Grogu’s adopted parents💕

I won’t accept or stand for anything else😭😭

[dollfaceeeeee]

the way joel says “what’s wrong with you” is so fucking funny to me like he’s so embarrassed his feral child is making a bad first impression on tommy that he’s like i raised you better than this!! but we all know he didn’t and she’s actually just like him

[dollfaceeeeee]

he’s so pretty