dotvmpl - Tumblr blog

[dotvmpl]

completely forgot to post my collective unconscious screenshots from forever ago here so to make up for it here's a concept for a location in my own ynfg (which is currently unnamed because someone else already used the name i wanted to use lmfao)

of COURSE it's a hospital cuz why wouldn't there be a weird allegory that involves a hospital within a ynfg??? smh my head

[dotvmpl]

probably the worst part about your agoraphobia periodically getting worse (for like, say... 5 years?) is that you run the risk of missing that your safe locations are leaving

we used to have a Mac's convenient store near our house, it was probably the only place i would walk to regularly that would have people in it that wasn't a park or random field or pond, one day Mac's was replaced with circle k, i didn't know and one day i was feeling kinda okay so i walked there with 10 dollars and a want for a shitty caramel latte but when i got there and saw what had happened it for some reason completely ruined the location for me

everything was different, it wasn't just the sign but the layout of the whole store with the exceptions of this weird sitting area near the front and where the froster machine was (now replaced with whatever circle K has) it was honestly a miracle the walls were still the same colour, worst (worse?) of all the old subway at the back of the store was just gone and covered up with plywood so now if i wanted a shitty toasted meatball sub with salt n pep, whatever kind of cheese i'm feeling that day on whole grain and no greens please i'd have to go all the way down mainstreet and i sure as FUCK was not ready for that

not to mention the mall (which wasn't a safe location but whatevs) just fucking DIED while i was stuck inside??? food court got gutted, every store on the side with the theatre just left, anything leading to where zellers was closed or was about to, sections of the mall were just closed off and fuckin EB Games turned into Gamestop??? whatever, dude.

i worry that one day i'll step outside and my home will be on a completely different street i don't recognize without having moved

we ball nonetheless

[dotvmpl]

[dotvmpl]

i put my hand in my pocket every time my palm itches just because you told me to and i think it's what i'll always do

you said it was for good fortune or that money was coming your way but i'd like to think it's just my hand's way of saying it still wants to feel yours someday

[dotvmpl]

my skin fell off like shedding

i feel like a bug

[dotvmpl]

Collective Unconscious is a collaborative project… What does that imply?

Anyone can participate as long as they follow our submission process;

The game will be updated regularly after release, continuously expanding, like Yume 2kki!

For more information on the contribution process, check out the #presentation channel of the YNOproject Discord server 👀 ✨

Credits: @mitzyrie (graphics & sprites), @bwf5 (BGM)

[dotvmpl]

next time i post on here it'll be a long-ish one with a lot of screenshots from my short time of playing collective unconscious

i love it SO much you have no idea

[dotvmpl]

drew myself in the yume nikki style again and added a trans flag to the background

strong supporter or deeply closeted, call it

[dotvmpl]

yeah

[dotvmpl]

yummy milky

[dotvmpl]

lavender waters

[dotvmpl]

for me there is no blanket more comfortable than snow

on a normal day the furthest i'll go outside is to the old fire pit in my backyard or to the street to pick up food if i need to

but in the winter my urge to get out is strong enough to get me close to across town

if a blizzard is happening or i know there is one coming i will be out of the house faster than i can put on my jacket

the cold is the only winter jacket i could ever need

even when my hands are stark white and numb i will feel nothing but happy

ice shards making it hard to open my eyes while i can't help but part my lips to smile

even when the wind is so strong i may as well be standing out there naked as the day i was born i will feel nothing but happy

there is no blanket more comfortable than snow

[dotvmpl]

Hexagonal Pillar Passage

[dotvmpl]

every once in awhile i remember the time i told a friend an idea i had for a game, it's nothing that hasn't been done before it's just another indie RPG likely based off of mother that's about some kind of mental illness or love interest or both and the problems that can come with them but i loved the idea so much i really, really wanted to share but hearing

"i'll be honest, i don't think anyone would wanna play that"

crushed me.

now that memory is in a final fantasy style boss battle with the one where my other friends told me they would play it and that they love the idea and and and and and so on but god it hurts to feel the evil winning the battle more often than it's losing,

i'd love to get out of my negative mindset when it comes to my own art and ideas (i've even tried hyping myself up but it falls flat if i don't fully believe myself) but i'm worried that for the time being that will be nigh impossible, my physical surroundings and people in them are too negative for that.

just like that another barrier pops up, one with a sign telling me leaving this area to find a better/happier place to be and grow would be best but then a secondary one pops up next to to show my anxiety disorder back into my face and the years lost to it while more and more barriers with their own signage pop up next to each other so i've started following the barriers and signs to try and find the best place to start but so many of them tie back to one another,

"i can't leave the house and therapy would be my best bet to help myself get over that hurdle but i can't go to therapy because i struggle to leave the house too much so therapy needs to come to me but where i am isn't a private place to be even if i try to make it be so i could never be comfortable enough for that"

so, where do i start my journey of healing and when do the barriers stop surrounding me?

[dotvmpl]

two cute girls together

[dotvmpl]

trying to learn something new

[dotvmpl]

i've finally realized that quarantine really wasn't as polarizing to me as it was to others

i've struggled with leaving the house since i was 13/14 with a few bouts before then so staying inside, not doing anything, creating stuff and snacking while my parents were at work was just any other day i've already experienced being repeated again and again and again, again.

there was probably more people on the games i was playing than there would've been, i didn't pay attention enough to notice.