dramatic-shitpost-poet - Tumblr blog

[dramatic-shitpost-poet]

minor message as a friend told me to share. vote aziracrow and christ bubbline shippers are scary

THE SHIP WARS ROUND FOUR

[dramatic-shitpost-poet]

[dramatic-shitpost-poet]

now that august has arrived, alastor keeps on scratching his antlers. his antlers' velvet is itchy and no longer necessary. however, the first phase of a deer's rut begins when they shed their velvet.

alastor never liked it when people touched him, unless he initiated it or granted permission. he's been at ease enough with you as his partner for some time now to consent to more prolonged kisses and physical contact. still, the most of it has been done behind closed doors to maintain his "overlord look". part of the reason for this, though, is that he doesn't want people to think of you as his vulnerability. he fears that if they do, people would target you and he won't be able to maintain his composure.

however, he has been expressing physical affection in public for the past week or two. embraces, hand holding, cheek kisses—you name it. he would tighten your hold and make sure everyone could see your intertwined hands if you tried to move away from him.

"well i've considered!— where are you going sweetheart?"

if he had to go and you were unable or unwilling to accompany him, it was your responsibility to kiss him on the cheek. extra points If you tidy his hair and bowtie, or remove some dust from his coat. he'll give you a thank-you kiss on the forehead.

"sweetheart i have to flee now— oh! why thank you my dear, your as lovely and attentive as always!"

he is now your constant shadow, following you around. he would give sinners—charlie included, the death gaze if you spoke to them. a very irate deer confronted anyone who approached you too closely for your husband's liking. he needs to be the centre of your attention at all times; he cannot have anyone else take it. he is a highly needy deer, if you will.

you accidentally slipped once, and husk grabbed you. after you were grounded, a certain someone felt that his hands were a little too long on your back. clawed hands grabbed you swiftly and dragged you away. alastor's horn had grown somewhat, and his voice was full of scratchy radio static. his well-known, all too menacing grin emerged into husk's vision.

"keep your hands to yourself before i cut them off, understood?"

he will hold you in your shared bedroom. don't even consider trying to get away from him. he would make an effort to rub his nose on you or bury into your hair to smell you. he chuckles at your response as he plants subtle kisses on your shoulders that cause you to shudder. he's craving more. he feels you squirm in his lap when he softly prods your sides with the tips of his claws. when he holds you, you resemble a doll. you have no control over what he does with your hair—he can rake through it, twist it between his clawed fingers, and anything else he wants.

"is that your new perfume? it suits you well sweetheart."

the only time he leaves you alone is when he really has to get rid of the velvet. he travels far into the eyeless forest and rubs his antlers on a tree. please take good care of him when he gets back. he'll look silly, trim off the extra velvet, and then give him a hug and a peck on the cheek in appreciation for all of his hard work. he'll hum with contentment.

if you were to believe that his abrupt behaviour would end after his antlers were taken care of. then, wow, you're truly wrong. here's where everything truly starts. there's an unfamiliar glint in his eyes every next day when he looks at you. it is more dark. you merely brush it off, when he refuses to let you hug him or sit on his lap like he usually tells you to.

if you happened to run across vox by chance and he flirted with you without knowing you were in a relationship. oh boy... you had better have a turtleneck at home to wear since your neck would be bruised. though, he wouldn't allow you wear it because he wants you to show off the marks he leaves on you like trophies.

"oh? and who said you can wear that? from what i remember i marked my territory last night, and i wish for others to acknowledge it. take it off."

not that you can refuse any of his wishes, and it's preferable if you don't. at the end of the day, your spouse is a happy deer with a waggin' tail. a win is a win.

© MENTHATILOVE 2024 — please do not translate or repost my work.

[dramatic-shitpost-poet]

When Alastor has been heavily implied to have been at least 50% Black while living, and most of the human fanart depictions of him are extremely white:

[dramatic-shitpost-poet]

I really hope that if we ever see canon human alastor they don’t go with the fanon perception of him

He loses all cunt

[dramatic-shitpost-poet]

[dramatic-shitpost-poet]

здраствуйте можно сделать реакцию на ревность аластора

Translated:

Hi, can I get a reaction to Alastor's jealousy?

Yes.

Jealousy Headcanons

Alastor X Reader

Warning! ⚠

⚠ platonic to romantic, violence, all caps in bold italics = SOUND EFFECTS, implied torture/murder, gore? eyeballs, possessive? Alastor wants all of your attention ⚠

Alastor has never felt jealous! How absurd of you to think that! Hahaha! Ha... Who is that demon taking up your attention?

He always had your attention.

You could be talking to the Princess but still focus on him.

Hell, you could be checking in a guest and still keep up with his tale of the day.

But now it was quite odd.

There was a demon coming by the hotel, not to see if they were interested in the cause but to use up his friend's precious time.

Even now the beastly thing walked up to the check in counter and started up a conversation with you.

He watched from the bar.

"Hey! I see its dead as ever in here.", the dragon demon grinned as they leaned on the counter.

"Not true~", you had replied. "I checked in four new guests!"

Yes, you had a knack of persuasion. Able to convince many to do almost anything. Sometimes even him.

"Oh yeah? How many sinners walked in?", the scaled creature leaned close.

Far too close for his liking.

"I just told you how many.", you replied and placed a finger on the dragon's snout, pushing them back as well. "Personal space."

He didn't like this demon.

Everything about them set something off. Their manners, their way of speaking, the way they move-

"Oh come on, I don't bite sugar cake~", the beast took your hand and kissed their way up to your elbow.

The way they t̵̬̥̻͂̿̈́ȏ̴̒͠u̸c̷̈́̊̆́̓͘h̷e̴̖̖͒̓͂͋̎ḑ̴̣̋͜ you.

"Nope!", you yanked your arm away and held it close. "None of that.", you laughed nervously with an uncomfortable smile.

It looked wrong. Your smile should be a happy one.

"I said I don't bite!", they laughed and tried to grab at your arm again. "You know I'm messing! When's your break?", they leaned over the counter, still trying to get at something to pull you closer. "I know a good bar to go to, or we can go to the club! I'd like to see your ass in something a little less-"

"Ew, no.", you rejected and backed away.

"Come on!", they started to climb on the counter. "Its just one time! I'll even help you get in and out of your clothes.", they grabbed onto your sleeve.

That's ENOUGH!

He quickly shadow traveled and snatched the wrist of the dragon.

"I believe they said no."

The beast growled with a sneer before looking at him, freezing up once realizing who had their wrist.

"I was just joking man. Haha..", the dragon looked between him and you. "I understand! I'll back away. The slut is yours."

"Excuse me!?", you said angrily.

His antlers grew, the low static that hummed now raising up in volume.

"₵₳ⱤɆ ₮Ø ⱤɆ₱Ɇ₳₮ ₮Ⱨ₳₮?"

"The slut-"

SNAP

He held the demon's snout shut as they screamed and cried over their broken wrist.

"Now, there is a no killing rule in the hotel.", he said and then grinned menacingly. "But that doesn't apply outside."

His smile widened after seeing the panic in their eyes.

"Dear.", he turned to face you. "Has this guest overstayed their welcome?"

You stared at the beast with such a terrifyingly hateful glare.

"Yes they have.", you replied, crossing your arms. "I'd like to keep a souvenir, for memories."

And then you gave him that lovely smile.

"Alastor, do you think you could get me a dragon eye or two? I hear they make nice details to things."

"I'll make sure to get them.", he released the demon, only for his tendrils to take hold of them. "I won't be long.", he reassured, lifting up your hand to kiss the back of it.

He saw you blush before he 'escorted' the demon outside.

After finishing up (and calling Niffty to clean up), he returned with two freshly picked dragon eyes.

You thanked him with an odd little gleam in your eyes. No doubt your mind jumping idea to idea of what you could create with them.

Now with the pest gone, he would have your attention again.

Just like he wanted

"Thank you Alastor. I'll be able to make something interesting with these."

"I can't wait to see what you make this time."

Perhaps he'll ask you that question sooner than later.

Of course he has to prepare everything to properly court you.

I am using a website to translate requests. Please let me know if I have translated anything wrong.

~Seline, the person.

Taglist@

@willowaudreykeyes @biromanticboba @kiraisastay @pooplyface1423 @ducky-died-inside @scary-noodlesblog @lbcreations-blog @c4rved-pumpk1n @stolas-thebirb @+?

ML for Alastor🎙

[dramatic-shitpost-poet]

здраствуйте можно сделать реакцию на ревность аластора

Translated:

Hi, can I get a reaction to Alastor's jealousy?

Yes.

Jealousy Headcanons

Alastor X Reader

Warning! ⚠

⚠ platonic to romantic, violence, all caps in bold italics = SOUND EFFECTS, implied torture/murder, gore? eyeballs, possessive? Alastor wants all of your attention ⚠

Alastor has never felt jealous! How absurd of you to think that! Hahaha! Ha... Who is that demon taking up your attention?

He always had your attention.

You could be talking to the Princess but still focus on him.

Hell, you could be checking in a guest and still keep up with his tale of the day.

But now it was quite odd.

There was a demon coming by the hotel, not to see if they were interested in the cause but to use up his friend's precious time.

Even now the beastly thing walked up to the check in counter and started up a conversation with you.

He watched from the bar.

"Hey! I see its dead as ever in here.", the dragon demon grinned as they leaned on the counter.

"Not true~", you had replied. "I checked in four new guests!"

Yes, you had a knack of persuasion. Able to convince many to do almost anything. Sometimes even him.

"Oh yeah? How many sinners walked in?", the scaled creature leaned close.

Far too close for his liking.

"I just told you how many.", you replied and placed a finger on the dragon's snout, pushing them back as well. "Personal space."

He didn't like this demon.

Everything about them set something off. Their manners, their way of speaking, the way they move-

"Oh come on, I don't bite sugar cake~", the beast took your hand and kissed their way up to your elbow.

The way they t̵̬̥̻͂̿̈́ȏ̴̒͠u̸c̷̈́̊̆́̓͘h̷e̴̖̖͒̓͂͋̎ḑ̴̣̋͜ you.

"Nope!", you yanked your arm away and held it close. "None of that.", you laughed nervously with an uncomfortable smile.

It looked wrong. Your smile should be a happy one.

"I said I don't bite!", they laughed and tried to grab at your arm again. "You know I'm messing! When's your break?", they leaned over the counter, still trying to get at something to pull you closer. "I know a good bar to go to, or we can go to the club! I'd like to see your ass in something a little less-"

"Ew, no.", you rejected and backed away.

"Come on!", they started to climb on the counter. "Its just one time! I'll even help you get in and out of your clothes.", they grabbed onto your sleeve.

That's ENOUGH!

He quickly shadow traveled and snatched the wrist of the dragon.

"I believe they said no."

The beast growled with a sneer before looking at him, freezing up once realizing who had their wrist.

"I was just joking man. Haha..", the dragon looked between him and you. "I understand! I'll back away. The slut is yours."

"Excuse me!?", you said angrily.

His antlers grew, the low static that hummed now raising up in volume.

"₵₳ⱤɆ ₮Ø ⱤɆ₱Ɇ₳₮ ₮Ⱨ₳₮?"

"The slut-"

SNAP

He held the demon's snout shut as they screamed and cried over their broken wrist.

"Now, there is a no killing rule in the hotel.", he said and then grinned menacingly. "But that doesn't apply outside."

His smile widened after seeing the panic in their eyes.

"Dear.", he turned to face you. "Has this guest overstayed their welcome?"

You stared at the beast with such a terrifyingly hateful glare.

"Yes they have.", you replied, crossing your arms. "I'd like to keep a souvenir, for memories."

And then you gave him that lovely smile.

"Alastor, do you think you could get me a dragon eye or two? I hear they make nice details to things."

"I'll make sure to get them.", he released the demon, only for his tendrils to take hold of them. "I won't be long.", he reassured, lifting up your hand to kiss the back of it.

He saw you blush before he 'escorted' the demon outside.

After finishing up (and calling Niffty to clean up), he returned with two freshly picked dragon eyes.

You thanked him with an odd little gleam in your eyes. No doubt your mind jumping idea to idea of what you could create with them.

Now with the pest gone, he would have your attention again.

Just like he wanted

"Thank you Alastor. I'll be able to make something interesting with these."

"I can't wait to see what you make this time."

Perhaps he'll ask you that question sooner than later.

Of course he has to prepare everything to properly court you.

I am using a website to translate requests. Please let me know if I have translated anything wrong.

~Seline, the person.

Taglist@

@willowaudreykeyes @biromanticboba @kiraisastay @pooplyface1423 @ducky-died-inside @scary-noodlesblog @lbcreations-blog @c4rved-pumpk1n @stolas-thebirb @+?

ML for Alastor🎙

[dramatic-shitpost-poet]

　Is now a good time to mention that Alastor's sexuality is directly linked to some of his fetishes? He's got a thing for corpses, and it's almost entirely due to the fact that he doesn't view them as people anymore; he feels more attraction, sexually and otherwise, to dead bodies than he does living creatures because his sex drive is otherwise almost nonexistent!

　Participating in violent sexual activity also makes it easier for him to get it up, so to speak, because he can pretend that it's nonconsensual. Either he's being fake - forced into something, or he's fake - forcing someone else.

[dramatic-shitpost-poet]

if I had a nickle for everytime a cannibal ate rude people specifically I'd have two nickles which isn't a lot but it's weird it has happened twice before.

[dramatic-shitpost-poet]

I just want to state very swiftly that the symbols Alastor can produce (seemingly whenever he wants) aren't just random symbols. They're Voodoo symbology. Most of them anyway. It ties into him being from New Orleans, as it's infamous for Voodoo. Let me explain.

When Africans were brought to Louisiana during the Trans-Atlantic they brought their religion with them, of which worked with nature, ancestors and spirits. Upon being brought to Louisiana they merged it with Catholicism, creating a separate religion(? I believe it's considered a full religion but correct me if I'm wrong) referred to as Voodoo-Catholicism. People from Haiti fled during the 1790's and came to Louisiana as well, of which also practiced Voodoo, cementing Voodoo an important part of New Orleans culture. Which is why I believe four things concerning Alastor: 1). He's part African (we know already he's a person of color and part Creole but the African influence on New Orleans can't be ignored). 2). He practiced Voodoo, perhaps because his mother did as well. He may have been raised practicing Voodoo. Maybe he practiced Voodoo-Catholicism? I'm leaning towards the former personally but make your own judgement. 3). Alastor may be a representation of Voodoo spiritual and ancestral beliefs, hence his power; we know he's "the most powerful (sinner) demon Hell has ever seen" according to Vaggie and that could be attributed to his practice in Voodoo. As stated earlier Voodoo centers on nature, and Viv has hinted that Alastor's demon form may be a punishment; he preyed on others and as such he became prey, including his past in Voodoo he would take on a form more akin to something he saw a lot in nature. New Orleans and Louisiana as a whole are known for their deer population. He was literally shot down because a hunter mistook him for a deer. 4). He's actually a Wendigo. Viv has cited the Wendigo legend as part of her design scheme for Alastor but in my very humble opinion I don't see any way he can't be a Wendigo. I won't give a lesson on the Wendigo legend but there's plenty to learn about them. It coincides in his cannibalism and metaphorical greed. Thank you for listening to me go on about this I'm tired.

[dramatic-shitpost-poet]

people in this fandom who love alastor but hate valentino have exactly one (1) setting:

"i can excuse serial killing and cannibalism but i draw the line at sexual assault"

[dramatic-shitpost-poet]

in my evil fucking lab doing whatever the fuck

[dramatic-shitpost-poet]

need a full body massage a margarita 400mg of ibuprofen a plate of brownies at least an hour in a jacuzzi and 20,000 dollars cash

[dramatic-shitpost-poet]

Me hanging with the bad bitch I met from Tumblr

[dramatic-shitpost-poet]

Me hanging with the bad bitch I met from Tumblr

[dramatic-shitpost-poet]

what's a book you read as a teenager that was so magical and personally profound to you it literally changed your life, doesnt matter if the book was actually well written or not. mine's probably the catcher in the rye