drsuzy

[drsuzy]

It was the last day of school. My kinder is officially a 1st grader and we cried together getting into the car. The fear of school being over and lockdown coming back is a PTSD I wasn’t expecting.

My year of homeschooling these three is over. But I am forever changed. I always thought my hands off approach to school was fine. I always thought that my focus on social emotional well-being was smart, because the academics would always be there regardless. Now I know. School can be torn from you at any moment.

I will spend this summer carefully working through practice books with my babies. Diligently practicing piano and their sports (tennis, soccer, basketball, dance, and skateboarding.) I will read to them until my voice has snuffed out. And I will map out the college prep master plan that has been formulating these past few months.

I’ll never rely on the system again. I will figure out our own path.

[drsuzy]

Wine tasting and sunshine after a week of stampede fun at school. Having your mama emcee school events won’t always be cool but they love it now. As the school year wraps up I’m starting to wonder how I teach them moving forward. Do they deserve a summer of relaxation or should I double down on this newfound talent I have? I have spent many hours game planning their college plans and how to ensure I am doing everything I can to prepare them for Cal Poly. Teaching them golf and tennis. Taking online community college courses. I have long been a believer in negotiation. I never accepted that getting an A meant being the smartest person in class. I understood that working hardest, going to the most office hours, asking for extra credit, and learning the test style of each teacher was the actual way to get that A. And I was right. And as their mama I need them to know that being smart isn’t enough, they have to act smart and read the room. So this summer we will shift gears. We will teach them *how* to learn. How to be in class. How to position themselves appropriately. And watch them fly.

[drsuzy]

Another chapter book completed, The Trials of Apollo. The kids quietly do art while I read and it’s the most treasured part of their day. Not sure what I’ll do the first time they ever pass on the chance to hear me read. It will happen someday, and it will break my heart.

[drsuzy]

Little by little the world is coming back to us. We are skateboarding on Tuesday afternoons. We went to the local park to watch our best friends hit home runs. We are quietly thankful for the people in our community getting vaccines so that our children can feel safe and protected. 6 more days of in-person school and then it’s all over. School is going to extend out to a full day next fall. We will shut down this home office we created. We will hopefully never experience traumatic stress like this again.

[drsuzy]

The house is slowly coming along as the year is quickly wrapping up. I love this home so much and it feels like the moment we move in we will finally be putting the trauma of this pandemic behind us. My three little bear cubs will not be little forever, but I’m so happy that for as long as they are, this will be their home base.

[drsuzy]

I love being on campus with my little monsters. I get to spend the day helping teachers, checking temperatures and filling the buckets of as many little people as I can. A wise woman (nana) once said: LG. Life is good.

[drsuzy]

Mother’s Day has come and gone, and the feeling of normalcy creeps into little corners of our life. We went to our favorite cove, not by ourself or with one other family- but with 6 families. All vaccinated. All unmasked. It was liberating and kind of scary. The FDA approved children ages 12 and up to be vaccinated started today. Which is wild. Hopefully my babies will be Covid vaccinated themselves by the end of summer. Two weeks of full time school, and we are already getting ready to say goodbye. I truly believe my three kids are the smartest ones who walk through those doors, but maybe all mamas feel that way about the ones they created. Meditating this morning as I wonder when we will be moving back into our home. As I hope for the days of being around others unmasked at a bar or while hiking on a trail. So many new social situations to constantly navigate. But I was so thankful for Mother’s Day!

[drsuzy]

Spent my morning teaching 70+ babies the importance of thinking clearly and leading with kindness. I truly love being with small people. Not just my own, I love ALL the small people.

[drsuzy]

Lovely day to enjoy the sunshine and ride some rides. Will it be crazy to look back on this time and remember that masks were required in public spaces? It felt so normal to see friends (so many of them!). It felt so good to see people relaxing on the beach. We still weren’t tall enough for all the rides, but I think next year is our year!

[drsuzy]

Four weeks left until the school year is finished. Four weeks until this year of fear and uncertainty finally comes to an end. The trauma of my children being robbed of not one but two school years. The truth that I can provide them with so much knowledge but never replace the special moments they lost counting millipedes in class with their peers, or having a wedding ceremony between ‘Q’ and ‘U’.

This year has truly been a nightmare. I say that knowing that I have loved every extra moment of cuddles. I have loved reading every book and feel deeply gratified about how much smarter I made them. They will be more successful in life because of me and the foundational learning we did together this year. More cultured. More thoughtful. More empathetic. But no doubt: never in my lifetime did I think any force of nature would strip these three of their basic right to attend school.

The equity difference I saw between private and public schools shook me. For the first time in our lives we seriously considered pulling the kids from public school and going private. The difference in pandemic experience for those in private schools was so unfair. Being in school full time starting in September? Those children were given the gift of normalcy. And the rest of the community remained deprived. A failure on the part of our public officials I will not soon forget. Take away the Targets and Costco’s: but do not take away the schools.

We will finish the year strong. After a year of being closed the boardwalk is slowly opening. Disneyland is slowly opening. My triplets got a real birthday party, albeit in a park, fully masked. Four more weeks. And hopefully on my last page of this book I can be unmasked. Enjoying the world. Celebrating with my family.

[drsuzy]

Hard day. Hard year. We are 13 months into the pandemic and we finally had a health scare. My baby was crossing the street and fell. She got a concussion and I’m so sad. So tired. We didn’t sleep because we had to arouse her every 2 hours. We can’t do any physical activity or mental activity the rest of the week. We finished reading the Magnus Chase series, and on to the Trials of Apollo. Monday is the first day back to full time school since mid-March 2020. What an emotional journey this has been.

[drsuzy]

Our life this spring break was dominated by hikes, sending fan mail to TSwift, the Calder-Picasso exhibit, and playing telephone. The giggles from these babies as we play telephone is unlike any other. I love their joy. Being their teacher this year has been stressful but so fulfilling. When we started we were stumbling with basic reading (basic letter recognition!). These future engineers now read unlike anyone their age. Fly through advanced math. These future varsity athletes compete hard. They want trophies. And as their parents we helicopter them more than most, but the right amount- because they are just so amazing. They are *my* Picasso masterpieces.

[drsuzy]

The babies are enjoying the sunshine, and spring finally feels like it’s here. Virus numbers are decreasing, and days of school are increasing accordingly. As they enjoy their sunbutter-jelly sandwiches, I’m reflecting on how much work I’ve put in this year teaching them math, reading books to them, and trying my hardest to figure out their hand writing skills. School will still be full-time at home with me, and while the number of hours are increasing at the brick and mortar schools, I don’t truly think it will be full-time again until fall. This has been the hardest year of their lives. Children truly are so resilient, but we expect way too much out of them. They lost all of their social connections. They lost all of their birthday parties and trips. They lost precious moments with their grandparents. And while we had a lot of really beautiful family moments, I’m not sure it makes up for the daily struggle of this year. These three babies are forever changed. I don’t think we’ll really know the full impact of what this year has had on them until they are well into adulthood. 

[drsuzy]

Our last ski trip of the season (we think!). We took advantage of the snow all winter this year, and rolled into Norooz with full bellies and happy memories in the snow. I’m so proud of these three daredevils, and looking forward to the jumps and tricks they accomplish next year!

[drsuzy]

Making leprechaun traps while my babies are still young enough that they find the process intriguing. They spent their lunch time game planning the strategy. A lot of engineering and talk of robotic hands. But so far I’m just seeing a lot of artwork and no robots. Happy almost-St. Patrick’s Day to my three little munchkins.

[drsuzy]

It’s amazing. A year ago the world shut down. And we visited the MoMa and the library the first day we finally could. It was actually very emotional to be inside the four walls of these beautiful learning institutions. Feeling so grateful today that the world is finally opening up around us.

[drsuzy]

In this Saturday night edition of art history, we are learning about Henri Matisse and Fauvism. The kids are each drawing their own version of ‘Woman in a Hat’. They aren’t allowing themselves to be confined to proper skin colors, and instead using wild colors to give their art a more psychological dynamic. Blue for calm and pink for feminine. Anything that means something to them. And tomorrow when we go to the grand opening of the museum of modern art (after a year of being shut down) we will get to see all the works of Matisse in person.