endmylifelad - Tumblr blog

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Dick: it just feels like you’re always looking for a reason to antagonize her, ya know?

Jason: well can you blame me? She just rolls in here everyday, all high and mighty, up on her high horse

Dick: dude, it’s called A WHEELCHAIR!

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I’m starting to think that bagel bites are somehow a trigger for seizures for me. I don’t know how, but they are.

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Can we talk about how this man-

This short king goober, stole TWO wives. From the same guy, too. What type of rizz does he have? He must have some sort of goofy silly swag or something idk.

I bet you if Adam got a husband, this mad lad would still try to steal him from Adam. His type has gotta be "Married to the first man God created" and I love that for him.

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Me: do you use prime?

Friend: no, why?

Me: oh there’s just a new show that just came out and I was going to recommend it, but never mind

Friend: what is it?

Me: it’s called Hazbin Hotel-

Friend: DAMNIT. YOU ARE THR 5TH PERSON TO TELL ME THIS!

Me, cackling and turns the tv volume up: I’M WATCHING IT RN BITCH!

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A lotta y'all be writing Dick as this terminally lonely man with no friends like 3/4s of the DCU isn't fighting over who gets to be his emergency contact

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can we PLEASE stop saying “rdr is a game for girls because you ride horsies, play dress up and pick flowers🥺🥺🎀” like that’s very fun but women enjoy first degree manslaughter too

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I keep forgetting how old I am

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“You’ve already left kudos here” okay?? Yeah?? And??

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Dick: What do you want for your birthday?

Jake: A girlfriend that's not crazy

Dick: son, a dragon is more realistic than that.

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Jason, texting Bruce: Trying to wish you happy father’s day but your phone is OFF. Unhappy father’s day.

Bruce: You remembered? And you’re really reaching out to me to say that?

Jason: Yes. I may be your least favorite child but I have the best memory

Bruce: I don't have a favorite child. I dislike everyone equally, and each in their own special ways.

Jason: That's the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me

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Mar'i, texting Jake: hi

Jake: hello

Mar'i: hola

Jake: como eat ass

Jake: NO

Jake: ESTAS

Mar'i: HAHAHAHAHA

Mar'i: THATS IT IM DONE

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Alfred: time for patrol, young masters!

*everyone gets up and hurry’s to the cave*

Alfred: bye Dick, bye Jason, bye Duke, bye Timothy, bye Damian, bye Helena, bye Stephanie, bye Cassandra, bye Harper, bye Lucas, bye David, bye Terrace, bye Julia.

(Source: Sing)

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There’s this game I play on my phone, and there’s a world chat, tribe chat, and private chat. On the world chat someone made an announcement, so it goes out to all players online or whatever and makes you see it. It read: IF YOU DONT JOIN TWP I DONT LOVE YOU

Mind you, I never respond to chats. Be it world, tribe, or private (except once. Russian man was not happy that I attacked his base and would not rest till I responded) in any public game I play really, there being few exceptions.

But today, without hesitating or a second thought, my exhausted dumbass immediately responds with: I don't love me either, you're not special

My nephew started to wake up so I had to attend to him before he freaked out. I forgot about it and moved on with life.

Just opened the game after many hours and holy shit people did not like what I said 😂

Favorite responses were:

💀Damn bro who hurt you

you don’t love me? uwu 😔

don't take it so seriously, __ is actually very nices 😂

My beyond done brain was just being silly

I only sent those 8 words, and I started an uproar.

The urge to respond is great, but nah. I’ll let them take me seriously when really I’m just a sleep deprived dumbass who thought I was funny

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What the description said: “…is injured on a recon mission,”

What my brain read: raccoon mission? wtf is that? I want to read this solely to figure out what the… oh. Never mind I’m a dumbass

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Wally, texting: hey potato chip

Dick: hey French fry

Wally: hey chicken parmesan

Dick: hey Alfredo sauce

Wally: this conversation is making me hungry. Wanna go out and get dinner?

Dick: I’m game