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eng484dln · 5 years

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Chopping Away at Expectations

Hatchet: A story about a young boy who gets trapped in a forest after a freak accident. But this story is much more than that to me. I can recall my 4th grade teacher seemingly exhilarated to read this book because it was not only highly accredited but because it also held some sort of strong significance to her. My peers and I were made aware a week before we started reading that we would be picking up a new book following a test for the English concepts we had been learning previously in the school year. We were warned of the graphic nature of the book and that we would need a parent to sign permission for us to read it as a result. Now I don’t know about you, but I know that whenever you had to get a parent to sign off on something school related it usually means it is going to be interesting in some sense. So this book “Hatchet” definitely caught my interest and yet when I sat down in my seat which rested in the middle of the classroom the following week and noticed a green covered book with a hatchet plastered upon it, I was reminded of what it was we were getting permission for: A book. I don’t remember exactly what my initial thoughts were when I saw that book on my desk, but it must have been something like: “Oh god…Not another book to read.” followed by a melancholic sigh. My teacher went through her usual routine of introducing a book, starting off with the title and a bit of background. We jumped into the book the same day. My teacher read the first chapter herself and then allowed my peers and I to take turns reading each paragraph.

When It came time for me to read, it felt like the story blanked out and I was speaking nonsense. I cannot place why I was inattentive to the story when I read but I know that it felt like an endless stream of pointless words to me. We were assigned to read whatever we didn’t finish in class at home. That happened to be almost every day of the school week, so I would often spend my time at home trying to read this book and make sense of it as a whole story. Clearly what I was doing wasn’t working. I was interested in the story when other people would read but not when I would do it myself and this left sections of the story not being filled in so the story was beginning to become fragmented and I wanted to know the whole story. So, I decided that I would need to apply myself. Instead of reading each word as a word, I did my best to picture the words in my mind. This slowed how fast I read but thankfully I wasn’t reading in front of a class so this wouldn’t be an issue. Long story short, we finished the story and for the first time in my life I was able to comprehend a book as a story and not a chunk of ink and paper. It seems to me that reading is much like a muscle in that if you don’t practice it and work it out in various ways, you’ll lose the ability. And much like beginning to work out for the first time in a while, it is hard at first but if you go slow, you’re able to achieve things you didn’t think were possible.

I believe in life you have more or less two ways of approaching things which bother you: You can either let it continue to bother you and do nothing to stop it or you can fight against the discomfort and find new ways to defeat the issue. When it comes to literacy this is especially important because it taught me that literacy is not always easy and when it comes to the specific aspects of literacy like reading and writing, you might find yourself being a master at one and a novice at the other. This taught me not to give up when I am uncomfortable with my abilities. We often keep ourselves from growing as people and as writers by fearing what bothers us. Yet, we should take that discomfort as an indication of development. Development is like that pain you felt as a child when your bones would ache from growing; It sucks but when it is over with your 2 inches taller and the pain doesn’t seem like it was that bad after all. We must be willing to take chances with things that make us uncomfortable and more importantly to apply ourselves harder than usual in order to achieve that development, otherwise we risk becoming stagnate. Life is not stationary; it is ever changing and as such we must be willing to take the pain of discomfort to become better versions of ourselves. So if you ever find yourself presented with a book or a prompt which invokes fear and discomfort, I encourage you to approach it with confidence that although it will be difficult, it will help you become a better writer.

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eng484dln · 5 years

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Passion Drives creativity

High school is a string of 4 years of development both on the academic level and personal level. The first two years often feel like a continuation from grade school and I can agree with that. Most readings felt like a drag but thankfully with my experience of hatchet, I was able to keep up reading assignments better than I had been in grade school. Though it still felt like a chore rather than something that could be enjoyable. I felt more drawn to visual representations of stories rather than written ones. Onision is a content creator on an online platform known as YouTube and I began watching Onision in grade school. Many know him for his wacky and sometimes offensive content and that is admittedly what most likely drew me to his channel in the first place. I mean that is exactly what a child is interested: something that is humorously outrageous.

So, I grew up watching his videos and continued to do so until recently but that is beside the point. Freshman year of high school I discovered that this eclectic character on YouTube had made a novel and as is the case with most books I see, at first, I was not all too interested. However, I was entertained by the content Onision provided in his videos so I considered that his book might be equally entertaining. I purchased the book with the intention of reading all the way through. On the cover sat a younger looking female who was crouched in what seemed to me to be an anxious and uncomfortable pose, as if she was hiding from something. This piqued my interest; I too could relate to wanting to get away from the fears of reality. It held the title: “Stones to Abbigale” which I am not sure held much significance. Most of what I remember from the book are snippets of seemingly deep and meaningful experiences. To my knowledge, this did not start out in some other medium, it was only a book. So, I began to read and as with any other book I have read, I felt that exasperation I had always felt while reading. This wasn’t even an assigned reading; I went out of my way to read this on my own so perhaps that strengthened the dread I held while first reading. Throughout the book the author elaborates on his feelings for a girl named Abbigale and the experiences he goes through while pursuing her. This struck home for me as I too was going through a similar though not identical experience in my own life. This encouraged me to read the story all the way through as I had originally planned. One significant event was one in which the main character: James, is caught in the midst of his peer attacking the school with guns. Fortunately, I have never had to experience something as traumatic as that, but it exemplifies the often unexpected events that Onision put into the book which could draw in a certain audience. The book itself has frequent errors and inconsistency when it comes to the flow of the story, though it still captivated me. This likely was the first book that I was able to indulge myself in the content of the story. With Hatchet, I was able to read the story for the first time but I was never captivated and this is likely due to the lack of personal experiences I could relate to with the main character.

Reading Stones to Abbigale taught me about the importance of personal experience in writing. I cannot imagine what the book would have been like if the author hadn’t put in his own personal experiences. It makes sense though it is not always intuitive to people; Adding personal experience is what often adds flavor to a story, and it is because we know those experiences best which allows us to dictate the experience effectively to readers. It is easier to adjust some of your own experiences rather than trying to produce one from scratch and that is likely why most great authors incorporate themselves into their writing. But upon further reflection, this discovery goes beyond writing stories. Academic stories often cannot include personal experiences because our experiences aren’t going to reinforce statistics on child rearing for example. However, this insight indicates to me that If I am to write an academic paper, it should be something I am personally invested in should I have the opportunity to do so. Why? Because I am more likely to put more effort into my writing when it is something I care about. Unfortunately we are not always granted such opportunities but when we are, It is important to direct our focus to things we love, things we hate, things that rile us up, things that we are passionate about, because that is where impressive work resides, in the things we love to talk about. So, I encourage you to consider those things which you hold grand passion for when you are writing. Remember the good and bad times of your life to emphasize the development of characters. Most importantly, write which you care about whenever possible otherwise it’s not worth writing at all

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eng484dln · 5 years

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Freedom Promotes Pride

Most if not all of the English classes I have taken in my life have restricted my freedom of writing and that is something I plan to elaborate on in a future post. This restriction however is what inhibited my creativity when it came to other assignments. I had started to dabble in journaling and composing my own writings after reading Stones to Abbigale, but It never achieved the quality that I would be proud of. I wondered why that was, but discovered the reason following an assignment I completed in my junior year of high school. My English class that year had been and still has been the class with the most freedom in learning and creating that I have had to this day. This likely is what influenced my fascination for writing, whereas previously I had only been slightly interested in it.

For some part of that school year, we read a play known as “A Streetcar Named Desire”. The play is set in the early 1900s and follows a variety of characters which demonstrate all walks of life during that time. For one of our assignments on that play, we were asked to create a piece of writing which reflected a character’s internal dialogue while using the writing strategies we learned earlier that year. I considered he options of characters to choose from. I initially wanted to create a story on a character known as Stanley though I had difficulty expressing Stanley as effective as I would like as Stanley had intense anger issues that I understood though didn’t completely relate to. However, Stella was a character who struggled with abuse and various other issues of her own. I was much more familiar with this concept and the expression that comes with it. So, I decided to go with Stella as this would be a character I could express more effectively. I considered the mediums I could express her experiences through such as a painting or sculpture, but I knew where my strong suit was and that was writing. “But what form of writing would be good for Stella?” I said to myself. “Well a narrative could work,” but that would take too much time, I had a deadline to have a finished project. “Maybe a short story,” This too was a good idea, but It unfortunately wouldn’t express the dialogue as effective as I would like. “A poem!” is what I settled with.

Poems often express emotion and present dialogue. I was on my own for this particular assignment as this was a final project and we were expected to take what we had learned and apply it. My teacher offered help to whoever asked for it though I feel that I more or less was able to complete my assignment on my own. So, I spent sometime creating a thoughtful poem whose content was not necessarily graphic, but its implications were. My peers and I took turns presenting our works to the class and the result of my reading? An applause and what seemed like genuine appreciation for my work.

This experience taught me the importance of freedom and recognition when it comes to writing. I consider myself to be a more or less good writer when it came to English assignments, I can’t recall receiving overall grades less than a B throughout my academic career. Though the assignments I completed were almost always constrained and this limited my own satisfaction of my work. Sure I could complete the assignment and get a good grade on it but that doesn’t mean I was satisfied with what I produced and this is something I believe most writers would agree is as important as the writing process itself. What is the point of writing if you’re not happy with it other than required demonstration of your understanding of course work? This experience also brought me to the realization that the recognition of our work is important to the writing process. Never before had I been appreciated in such a manner as that and It encouraged me to continue writing poetry on a personal level which ultimately influences more practice which helps a writer develop his writing effectively. So I encourage you to not only share your work with your peers for feedback but to also seek out opportunities where you are permitted more freedom so that you might be able to develop work you are genuinely proud of.

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eng484dln · 5 years

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Respect and Authority

My experience with the education system is that It is something like bittersweet. It is both restrictive and liberating. It is both a teacher and a deceiver. Yet despite it being both constructive and destructive, I appreciate that I am able to experience it. Many people in the world are not able to learn what I have learned whether it be due to their politicians outlawing it or the lack of financial means to do so. I am privileged to have the opportunity to learn about the reality which I seemingly exist in. Why do I bring this up? Because I know I have spent a majority of my life resisting the notions of authoritative figures. I was more or less a good student throughout K-12 education but that doesn’t mean I was happy with going through the system.

Teachers in my experience have a preconceived notion that students are to obey the teacher and the teacher is meant to guide. This is supposed to represent respect though that is not what I have learned respect to be. Respect is most definitely earned; it is not something intrinsic. At least for a freethinker it is not intrinsically given. As such authority does not invoke respect but instead vice versa. Respect invokes authority. Because of my understanding of respect, I unfortunately have not always been fond of every teacher that has taught me, and I am sure this might be the case for other individuals. The assignments which restricted me often inhibited my creativity and yet those which have been more permitting have allowed me to create great works such as the poem I made in junior year about Stella. But I wonder why I have this view on the education system. Is it because of the way I was treated? Perhaps.

Subservience is expected in most schools and this was the case in my primary school. For example, we were asked to wear uniforms. There is plenty of argument behind why uniforms are beneficial such as it preventing bullying. Yet I feel that is has the opposite effect. When you are made to look identical to all your peers, there can be a lack of expression and that certainly was the case for me. It excludes the expression of personality which could prevent you from finding like-minded individuals. Why should that matter? Most people perform at their best when they are around people who they can relate to. Think about it, you would have a much easier time completing a project with someone who has the same interests and drives as you rather than vice versa. Yet this is just one example of subservience. Another thing I noticed growing up is the freedom to speak ideas. Teachers often hush the talkative students because they are interrupting the class and that seems reasonable, but what about when a student is hushed because their voice makes more sense than the teachers? This is exemplified by what I have observed when one of my peers in the 5th grade was automatically hushed anytime he would speak simply because he made a disturbance early on in the year. And yet I know this individual to be one of the smartest people I’ve met.

There is a bias that exists in academia and that is people who have degrees are geniuses. This may come off as complimenting a teacher but in reality it deters progress. A student may look to a teacher and think they are the ultimate truth to reality and that is rarely the case. Teachers are human; They have biases just like every other person on this earth and they have ignorance when it comes to certain parts of life. Yes they may have dedicated a large portion of their lives to academia but that still does not make a teacher the source of all knowledge in the world. I hold this skepticism towards academia because of experiences like the one Im about to explain: I was in my sophomore psychology class and the teacher went off on a tangent about stereotypes. I still am not sure why he decided to tell this joke but he went on to make an offensive joke involving ethnicities and the particular aspects that they accentuate in order to look more attractive. When he told that joke, I remember there being an awkward silence as my peers and I analyzed what was just said and more importantly who said it. He must have realized that was not appropriate to say and quickly diverted our attentions back to the lesson. I spent the remainder of my day considering what my teacher had said. How that felt for me hearing it and how it might have felt for other people hearing it. I considered how other people might have looked up to this teacher for guidance and how that joke could be misinterpreted or repeated. I try to avoid getting into the politics behind political correctness, but this was obviously an uncomfortable scenario. Someone who is teaching the youth of the world holds this sort of idea of people within their heads and that influences how they interact with other people. If I bring it back to literacy, that can be used as an example of the biases that influence everyones writing. I admit even I have my own biases which I try to avoid succumbing to though the biases still exist. This strengthened my belief in skepticism. We should rely on the teachers of the world for the knowledge they may have but recognize that they often retain knowledge we dont agree with,dangerous knowledge, and a lack of knowledge for things they do not understand.

Notions have the hard reality of restricting people from their potential and I feel if he hadn’t been hushed early on in his life, he might be doing greater things. Most people don’t want to be subservient, We would rather be equal than greater or lesser. Or at least that is the case for me. And I find that the teachers I remember the most are those who respected me as much as I respected them. Therefore, respect for those we mentor is crucial. Demeaning students work and what they ask or say prevents true potential from being expressed. That is why I encourage you to teach with the heart of a mentor and not a master. We are here to simply tell people how to do things, but to show people how to do things. I believe by treating those we mentor as equals then we permit ourselves to see what they want to achieve and help them get to that point while also teaching them in an effective manner. Simply put, if an authority figure does not recognize the weight of his own actions, this upsets the balance of respect and you may completely miss out on what could be something great.

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