erynaputri - Tumblr blog

[erynaputri]

You drink a little too much and try a little too hard. And you go home to a cold bed and think, That was fine. And your life is a long line of fine.

Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl

Read More on wordsnquotes

(via thelovejournals)

[erynaputri]

I Love You for That

“Finally, Patience, who was feeling lost and resigned, found herself beneath the same tree where she began. She stood there for barely a minute when there was a tap on her shoulder. It was Love.”

(Patience – Lang Leav)

Remember when we started dating and I said that I couldn’t deal with anything cheesy? Well honestly, it was a little embarassing because at the end of the day I begged you not to leave me if someday I would ever do something stupid. Sounds like a psycho but you didn’t laugh at me, or scared of me, or even think that I was weird.  You were dealing with my really strong trust issue and turning it over into something else entirely. Now I trust you like nobody else. And I love you for that.

Remember the first time I told you I love you? That was the first time I expressed my real feelings to someone. It was so awkward and weird and I was crying that time and now i know it was ridiculous. But you were there, on the other line, waiting for me, patiently, undoubtedly, maybe even if it would take forever. You didnt laugh when I said it awkwardly because you knew it took every ounce of me for even saying those three words. Because you knew it took me so long to finally able to said -and felt- that. Because you knew what I said was real and honest. You knew how hard I tried, you appreciated that well. And I love you for that.

Remember when you told me your biggest baggage from your past and how you dealt with it? Surprisingly I didn’t feel like I was jealous or even wanted to delete that part of you. Because that surely made you, you. Because from your past you learned, and did anything to makes you live again. Because it made you much wiser, and stronger, and more importantly, it made you chose me. We both know that grief wouldn’t dissappear completely. And I honestly said to you that I couldn’t promise that i will get rid of your scar. We both know that the scar will always be there, but the actual problem is the pain. One thing I could promise you was I would make the pain goes away everytime you feel it. And I will gladly do it over and over again, for the rest of my life. Whatever you’re carrying today and tomorrow, my heart is very much with you, and will always be. I know you love me for that. And I love you for that.

So if anyone would ever say that I’m with you because you’re the only one who’s around, yes they’re right. Because you are the only one who’s around and makes me fall into deep conversation and never want to get out of that. Because you’re the one who’s around and never leave me when i did something stupid, or weird, or even scary. Because you’re the one who’s always around, and makes it further than anyone could’ve ever done. And I love you for that.

Shout out to the man who still believes there will be something good in every stupid decision I’ve ever made,

Who brings me back to life,

Who makes everything possible again,

I love you for that :)

[erynaputri]

A (Long) Thank You Note

You have told me All the things i need to hear Before i knew I needed to hear them. 

To be unafraid Of all the things i used to fear Before i knew I souldnt fear them.

(A Thank You Note – Lang Leav)

I dont know if this is what everyone feels but i start to believe the idea that there is one person who will push the reset button and start a brand new page in your life, is true.

I used to be a lone wolf. I tried to avoid people. For a very long time, I assumed that dealing with people is a vain attempt I could ever did. I didnt bother myself by looking for someone who will change my mind, i was pretty happy with that. I was surely a selfish human being. I pushed away anyone who could possibly care about me. I was terrible at getting close to someone –an opposite gender, in this particular story-.

At that time, I liked being alone. It was addictive. I did what i wanted to do, i went to places i wanted to go. I went to the bookstore and ordered mc donalds alone. I watched movies alone, and bought my needs alone. I didnt shed a tear during sad movies, i yawned when i saw a typical happy ending.

But at a certain point of my life, it didnt feel right.

And when i decided to open my door a little bit, that was when he came and politely knocked. Suddenly i felt like i was ready for letting someone into my life. Then i wasnt. Then again, i was.

But he stayed still when everyone else chose to leave.

That was the time i realized, for the first time in my life, i had accepted a person for who he is.

I accepted the whole package of him. His peaceful -yet complicated, sometimes unbelievably dirty- mind. The way he look, the way he laugh. The way he magically gives me the sense of both warm and cold breeze at the same time. The way he connects our every talk to books, or articles, or latest scientific research he had read. The way he recites some quotes from some CEO whom i always fail to recognise.

But more importantly, i love the way he looks at me. He looks at me as if there is something special, something rare, something beautiful, lies in me.

He loves me when i can’t even love myself.

And this (long) thank you note is dedicated to that one person, who has gently touched my life and let me touched his in return. Thank you, for allowing me to use my voice, for letting me into a warm home of yours when i felt like abandoned, left alone in the cold. Thank you, for helping me find my long-lost dreams, and pick up my shattered self.. errr, i mean, life. Thank you, for making me feel safe and far less alone. And thank you, for loving me a lot more than i ever deserve.

It is really nice to know that you always get my back. You know i get yours.

Thank you, thank you, i will never stop thanking you.

[erynaputri]

I’m in love with you because you make me feel safe. It sounds corny and vague. People always talk about feeling safe with someone and you wonder what it even means. I still don’t really know. All I know is that when I’m with you, I feel like I’m clutching a giant thing of pepper spray or reliving a moment of being carried to bed by my parents when I was five years old and fell asleep in front of the television. All day long, I can feel fragile, like a raw nerve, and when I come home to you, it’s like I just put on the thickest winter coat and installed bulletproof windows in my apartment. ‘Honey, I’m home…and no longer terrified.

Ryan O’Connell, This is Why I’m in Love With You (via thelovejournals)

[erynaputri]

I wanted to write you a letter, A poem, perhaps, But, I could find all the words in the world, And still not discover A way, To fit my whole world - You, Into words.

Jamie L. Harding. Words. (via the-writing-reservist)

[erynaputri]

There will be dozens of people who will take your breath away, but the one who reminds you to breathe is the one you should keep.

Anonymous (via wnq-anonymous)

[erynaputri]

Mungkin tidak semua keputusan dalam hidup yang rasanya benar meninggalkan rasa lega. Ada beberapa yang memang harus meninggalkan efek seperti ini, seperti ulu hatinya ditonjok berkali-kali.

Ika Natassa (The Architecture of Love)

[erynaputri]

I like drinking coffee alone and reading alone. I like riding the bus alone and walking home alone. It gives me time to think and set my mind free. I like eating alone and listening to music alone. But when I see a mother with her child, a girl with her love, or a friend laughing with their best friend, I realize that even though I like being alone, I don’t fancy being lonely. The sky is beautiful, but the people are sad I just need someone who won’t run away.

Anonymous (via wnq-anonymous)

[erynaputri]

I love you, with a touch of tragedy and quite madly.

Simone de Beauvoir (via thelovejournals)

[erynaputri]

Engkaulah getar pertama yang meruntuhkan gerbang tak berujungku mengenal hidup Engkaulah tetes embun pertama yang menyesatkan dahagaku dalam cinta tak bermuara Engkaulah matahari Firdausku yang menyinari kata pertama di cakrawala aksara

Kau hadir dengan ketiadaan Sederhana dalam ketidakmengertian Gerakmu tiada pasti Namun aku terus disini Mencintaimu Entah kenapa

Engkaulah gulita yang memupuskan segala batasan dan alasan Engkaulah penunjuk jalan menuju palung kekosongan dalam samudra terkelam Engkaulah sayap tanpa tepi yang membentang menuju tempat tak bernama namun terasa ada

Ajarkan aku, Melebur dalam gelap tanpa harus lenyap Merengkuh rasa takut tanpa perlu surut Bangun dari ilusi namun tak memilih pergi

Tunggu aku, Yang hanya selangkah dari bibir jurangmu

Engkaulah kilatan cahaya yang menyapulenyapkan segala jejak dan bayang Engkaulah bentangan sinar yang menjembatani jurang antara duka mencinta dan bahagia terdera Engkaulah terang yang kudekap dalam gelap Saat bumi bersiap diri untuk selamanya lelap

Andai kau sadar arti pelitamu Andai kau lihat hitamnya sepi di balik punggungmu Tak akan kau sayatkan luka demi menggarisi jarakmu dengan aku Karena kita satu Andai kau tahu

Engkaulah keheningan yang hadir sebelum segala suara Engkaulah lengang tempatku berpulang Bunyimu adalah senyapmu Tarianmu adalah gemingmu Pada bisumu, bermuara segala jawaban Dalam hadirmu, keabadian sayap mengecup

Saput batinku meluruh Tatapmu sekilas dan sungguh Bersama engkau, aku hanya kepala tanpa rencana Telanjang tanpa kata-kata Cuma kini Tinggal sunyi Dan, waktu perlahan mati

Dimensi tak terbilang dan tak terjelang Engkaulah ketunggalan sebelum meledaknya segala percabangan Bersatu denganmu menjadikan aku mata semesta Berpisah denganmu menjadikan aku tanya dan engkau jawabnya Berdua kita berkejaran tanpa perlu lagi bersua

Mencecapmu lewat mimpi Terjauh yang sanggup kujalani Meski hanya satu malam dari ribuan malam Sekejap bersamamu menjadi tujuan peraduanku Sekali mengenalimu menjadi tujuan hidupku

Selapis kelopak mata membatasi aku dan engkau Setiap napas mendekatkan sekaligus menjauhkan kita Engkau membuatku putus asa dan mencinta Pada saat yang sama

Bara yang membakar nadiku kini Magi yang menyulap semestaku ini Hanya singgah untuk musnah Tersihir, tersiksa sia sia Di antara angkara Dua kutub yang berbeda Kita meregang Tak berkesudahan

Di ufuk engkau terbenam, aku terbit Di teluk engkau tenggelam, aku pasang Sejauh apapun garis waktu engkau tempuh Hadirku selalu di balik matamu Seluas apapun ruang yang engkau rengkuh Cintaku selalu di luar sadarmu

Akulah awal dan engkaulah akhir Meniadakan kita berdua Adalah satu-satunya cara kita bisa bersama

Dewi Lestari (Inteligensi Embun Pagi)

[erynaputri]

Because maybe it’s dumb to look for sign from the universe! I mean, maybe the universe has better things to do. Dear God, I hope it does. Do you know how many signs I’ve gotten that I should or shouldn’t be with someone? And where has it gotten me? Maybe there aren’t any signs. Maybe a locket is just a locket, a chair is just a chair. Maybe we don’t have to give meaning to every little thing. Maybe we don’t need the universe to tell us what we really want. Maybe we already know that, deep down.

Ted Mosby (How I Met Your Mother - Something Old)

[erynaputri]

You know you’re in trouble when your own imagination starts punishing you.

Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl (via wordsnquotes)

[erynaputri]

The feelings that hurt most, the emotions that sting most, are those that are absurd–The longing for impossible things, precisely because they are impossible; nostalgia for what never was; the desire for what could have been; regret over not being someone else; dissatisfaction with the world’s existence. All these half-tones of the soul’s consciousness create in us a painful landscape, an eternal sunset of what we are.

 Fernando Pessoa (via memoryslandscape)

[erynaputri]

I found you after the storm.

Pablo Neruda

original: “Yo te encontré después de la tormenta.”

(via wordsnquotes)

[erynaputri]

The moment you smiled back, I knew I was in deep trouble.

charmingwinds (via wnq-writers)

[erynaputri]

And there will be someone that comes along one day and offers you an entire galaxy when you only expected a single planet.

[erynaputri]

I felt a queasy mixture of relief and horror. When you finally stop an itch and realize it's because you've ripped a hole in your skin.

Gillian Flynn (Gone Girl)