Enough said!
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There's nothing really subtle about it, atleast what I'm facing.
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I am very upset today and need some insight from the people of this community....
To the parents: Is it valid for parents to expect, force through manipulation and lies their adult children to take care of them when they are older? If you feel some or all parts of this is right or wrong please response to this post explaining what it is and why.
To the children here: Do you feel it's right for older parents to say that they educated you, provided shelter and food as children so you owe them now? If you feel some or all parts of this is right or wrong, please explain the reasoning behind your view.
Thanks! Looking forward to hear from as many people as possible. There's no right or wrong answer. I want to keep this blog as a safe space to share your opinions.
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Lately I've been absolutely burnt out. Not only has my personal life been toxic and draining, my work has became the same if not worse. Trying to stay afloat and keep everything straight has been extremely exhausting for me.
I thought going to a new job will help reduce some of the toxicity of the previous one, well I was so wrong. The new job turned out to be 10 times worse. With too many managers and politics being played, the environment has been unnecessarily toxic even though the work itself is good.
Please send some good wishes my way so I have the strength to handle all of this. 🙏
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Some self therapy narratives to think about or ask yourself when you are stuck in an environment with toxic folks...
So it takes a very long time to change your mind to go from the left to the right. I can contest to it, that it took me years to understand, realize and change my perception. Before I started on this journey of self therapy, I used to feel exactly like the left side of those images. Thinking that I was the reason why they are treating me so badly. That it was a "me problem" and they weren't at fault at all. Until I realized it's the complete opposite. That they are projecting their own unhealed trauma onto me and expecting me to take it like a sponge. No more. I finally realized what it means to have a thick skin.
It does get sad, lonely, and depressing sometimes when I think about how numb I had to become to not let their words affect me, but that's the only form of self preservation I can see if I have to continue living in this toxic environment.
Does anyone have advice on how they figured out how to cope with people's toxic/nagtive behaviours, other than leaving the environment ofcourse?
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This one is all too close for me. It's a constant mental battle at this point.
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I 100000% agree with this. Trying to change my mindset to stop forgiving and excusing them just cause they are family.
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Happy new year everyone! (I know I am a bit late to the wishes). My year started out being unwell, I think it was a way the universe was giving me a sign to truly take care of myself and not neglect self care.
With that I hope everyone has been well and the new year has been going good so far (as good as it can be). Take time to truly reflect on what you want, need and can make happen. Put in the work and screw anyone who tries to push you back. Where there is a will, there is a way! 💜
Sending luck and hope your way! 🍀🤞
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Unfortunately I am currently holding onto that abusive relationship with my family. I keep jumping between guilt and self care, which one should I pick. I've come to realize that I am a cycle breaker of generational trauma and a black sheep of the family. And that it is a lonely road to walk.
As far as therapy goes, it's been alright, I'd say it's nothing special that I wouldn't have been able to work out on my own. At the most you just end up having an unbiased person (if they are a decent therapist ofcourse) to talk to and bounce ideas off of.
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Yes, this right here. Every damn time I try to have a normal conversation with them, it ends as an argument and I leave feeling so stressed. It's so not worth it. Life really shouldn't be lived like this for anyone 😑
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I think most of this is correct except the last part. I don't think we can say for sure that they lack empathy because they are only self centred, doing alot of introspection and self therapy has also shown me that they can be this also because they have very low to no self awareness, if this in turn makes them self centered then that's a different story by itself.
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Update about therapy:
My therapist has been challenging my way of thinking about my family, specifically the fact that I've come to the conclusion that they have been abusive towards me due to the lack of emotional maturity, however I feel like I might still be correct about this notion as I am the one in the line of fire when it comes to the emotionally abusive words they easily fire at me and expect me to accept it.
Still working on therapy and trying to understand if my way of thinking is correct or not.
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