fedupwithyou - Tumblr blog

[fedupwithyou]

My love for you is drowning

struggling to keep its head up

as you obliviously go through the days

and keep strangling my heart

until it runs out of air

[fedupwithyou]

Was it even love

when the words you muttered

we’re nothing but lies

and was there ever the illusion

if I am now more than willing

to burn down

everything you ever stood for

[fedupwithyou]

‘I never meant to hurt you’

And yet -

[fedupwithyou]

You can catch more flies

with honey

than vinegar

but what if I want to catch butterflies instead?

[fedupwithyou]

I am asking you to look at me

See me

Not through me

when I’m asking you -

begging you -

to not pass through me like air

Like I am nothing

as your actions suggest

Like I am nothing more than an afterthought of an afterthought

Like I am nothing more than your regret

[fedupwithyou]

I am stuck in my own head

Pounding against the walls

Screaming

for someone to

please

listen

But the only comfort

that ever responded to my calls

was the deafening silence

that swallowed me whole.

[fedupwithyou]

I wish you were here

holding my hand

telling me it would be alright

But you are not

And never will be again

[fedupwithyou]

I have have never felt as alone

as when I am with you

[fedupwithyou]

Sometimes I feel small

curled up in the tiniest ball

my body can manage

and just float

between existing

and not wanting to at all

[fedupwithyou]

I wish they would notice

the silent screams

the silent tears

The sadness ripping trough my body

leaving it empty

and void

I wish they would notice

as I lay in the dark

not the only one in body

but the only one in heart

[fedupwithyou]

Would my wings melt

if I flew too high?

Or would I soar above the clouds

so high even stardust would envelop me

[fedupwithyou]

Not even the moon

misses the sun as much

as I do you.

[fedupwithyou]

I would make constellations in your image

if that would mean

our love would last forever.

[fedupwithyou]

Narcissus

You do not understand why no one

but yourself

is obsessed

with you.

Cursed to look at only yourself

without seeing the flaws

drowning in your own image

without ever wondering if you could be wrong.

[fedupwithyou]

I set ablaze every fibre of my being

to keep you warm

during the nights

that you poured ice

over everything that could have been

[fedupwithyou]

You are my Apollo

But please

do not make me your Icarus

[fedupwithyou]

You were the first

The first who understood

the first that cared

the one that made me feel

like I was important

like I was loved

You were the first

the first that stayed

that came running

whenever I needed you to.

You were the first

the first to yell

to throw your fist against the wall

or hurl things across the room

You were the one who chipped away

at my friendships

claiming ill intend

claiming they only had the worst in them

You were the first to blame everyone around

when things blew up

I was the first

to leave

to break the promise of forever

and go

hide in the embrace

of the friends you told me would never have my back