findinglifeandme-blog

[findinglifeandme-blog]

Too skinny?

Recently, I was exchanging polite hello’s with someone I hadn’t talked to in a while. I don’t remember how (maybe because i was just flabbergasted) but the conversation took a turn for the worst when this person (lets call him Bob) thought it okay to make comments about my body, saying that I was “skinny”. Now I know for a lot of females this might have been quite the compliment. However, with his tone, and the fact that he compared me to one of my friends who weighs (I’m guessing)at least  approx. 20 lbs more than me, stating that she had the “perfect size”, I did not take it as a compliment. Now I’ve tried to become somewhat numb to these ignorant, careless comments but for some reason this time it hurt. Maybe because Bob had compared me to the one friend I thought was ‘#bodygoals’. She’s curvy, with small waist and perfectly proportioned and maybe this comparison from Bob had supported the thought in my mind that I was somehow less than because my 98 lb frame didn’t curve and arch the way hers did.

I’ve always had a slim frame. For at least the past 5-7 years I’m sure I have not gained any weight. I remember stuffing my face, eating all sorts of junk and trying to markedly increase my portion sizes just to feel better about myself and stop people from calling my skinny or asking me if I eat. My efforts proved futile as I saw absolutely no change on the scale no matter how hard I tried. I eventually just gave up because eating that much was exhausting and trying to keep up with calorie intake etc was too much for me especially when seeing no results. I went back to eating normally which quite frankly was above average. My closest friend and my parents were always amazed by how much food I ate normally and that I would gain NO weight.So much so that my mother gave me the nickname ‘termite’. 

It always amazes me the sheer disregard or just unmindful comments people make towards naturally slim people. It seems like it never crosses their mind that what they are saying is in anyway hurtful to the poor, unsuspecting person who probably went home and cried and prayed just to gain 5 lbs. A lot of people think that it is not as hurtful to call someone ‘skinny’, ‘anorexic’, ‘scrawny’ or ‘bony’ as it is to call someone ‘fat’ and that skinny people have it easy. Well the truth is it is just as offensive. We spend just as much time in the mirror criticizing our bodies as the ‘fat’ person. We shed just as many tears wishing we could change and trying to feel better about ourselves. We are always trying to get curves and waiting impatiently for our so called metabolism to slow down and for us to retain any of those extra calories we put in (which I’m convinced will never happen). Have you ever tried finding size 0 clothes to buy? Sure it sounds nice to most because apparently you have a model’s body. But if you really tried finding small sized clothes, it’s nearly impossible. You try on a million tops that claim to be ‘small’ but they always seem to be not small enough and always hang awkwardly off your body further depleting your already low body image. And when you finally find something that looks decent or fits, it costs tonnes more than normal sized clothes. I don’t know about you but unlike most females, I hate shopping.

Anyways moral of the story is that it is not okay to make comments about people’s bodies; period. Slim or thick, everyone is insecure and it is not okay for you to make anyone feel worse about themselves. Think about the words you say and be mindful that everyone has their own struggles. 

[findinglifeandme-blog]

Does anyone else despise Father’s Day?

Mother’s day, Father’s day...I get the same feeling. Everyone suddenly becomes busy bodies getting gifts and preparing to treat their parents ‘right’, while I could not be bothered in the least. I don’t know why but the simple thought of me living up to the expected child duties on these set aside days, gives me a knot in my stomach and makes me want to hide until it’s over. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents but for me, these days are just awkward. It could be that I’m just an awkward person, or I didn’t grow up caring much about them but i always wonder if you are all naturally inclined to care about these days or is everyone else struggling with the awkward and forced behaviors of Father’s Day.