findmeintheferns - Tumblr blog

[findmeintheferns]

f**k you.

ellie williams x afab!reader

warnings: hate sex, ellie’s rude as shit in the first half, alcohol use, some name-calling, aggressive kissing, fingering, scissoring, brat taming, spanking, edging/overstim… i think thats it

a/n: kinktober’s here! ik im a few hours late guys im sorry. but hopefully this juicyness makes up for it !! wc 3.4k

Ellie couldn’t stand you.

She found you so incredibly annoying, and yet you shared the same friends. Which was the biggest problem, ever.

She never failed to make sure to let you know what she thought of you.

“Hey, idiot. We’re trying to have a conversation. Shut it for once, yeah?”

And you made sure to let her know that the feeling was mutual.

“Suck my dick, Williams.”

And like clockwork, she’d say something along the lines of “Sorry babe. Not into that.”

Truthfully, the two of you had been doing this for a while. This was nothing new. You’d go at eachother back and forth until one of you gets genuinely pissed off. Rinse. Repeat.

Dina hated it because she loves the two of you; she just can’t handle being in a room with both of you at once. Jesse would find it amusing until you and Ellie wouldn’t shut up during a movie.

It didn’t matter what you said or did. Ellie would either laugh, mock, or straight up disagree with you. Even if you stayed quiet and said nothing at all.

“Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.”

She’d wait for your response, and when you didn’t have one, she’d keep going.

“No seriously. You look like dogshit.”

“Ellie please shut the fuck up.”

It was like she couldn’t ignore you. As if your presence was so incredibly overwhelming, that she just had to react to everything you did. You didn’t get it.

If you met up with the friend group to eat, Ellie somehow “forgot” to get you something. She’d make plans and purposely exclude you. And if you brought it up, she’d tell you to “chill the fuck out, it’s not that serious.”

You hated Ellie. And yet here you were, six feet across from her, sitting on the rug of her living room floor. Dina had insisted on a friendly get-together at Ellie’s, specifically requesting that “you don’t kill eachother.” You told her you’d try, but made no promises.

“Hey, Jesse.” Ellie said. “Could you grab me and Dina another beer?”

“Ellie,” Dina says. “You didn’t even ask if Y/N wanted one.”

“So?” She replies. “She’s a big girl. If she wants another she can get it herself.”

You rolled your eyes. She always did this — talked about you as if you were the dumbest person to ever exist.

“I’m right here, Ellie.” You snap. “I can hear you.”

“I know.” Ellie says. “That’s why I said it.”

“Guys, please.” Dina groans. “Just one night. One good night is all I ask.”

Jesse brings over more bottles. He cracks one open before handing it to you. Ellie stares at you, waiting for Jesse to hand out the rest before speaking.

“It would be easier if I didn’t have to look at her fuckin’ face all night.”

You scoffed. “You know, you’re really cocky for someone who lives in a fucking garage.”

“You’re lucky I even let your ass in this garage.” Ellie mutters. “Probably tracked in a shitton of dirt.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” You ask abruptly.

Dina rubs her temples. “Guys—“

“You that stupid?” She questions. “It means I’m gonna have to sweep once you leave. Don’t want your germs gettin’ on my shit.”

“Fuck this. Nope. Not doing this.” Dina says, getting up from the floor. She whips around to face you and Ellie.

“I have tried to ignore the two of you in hopes of having a good time. I have begged you to get along for once. But clearly, none of it’s fucking working!” She throws her hands up. “I’m done. Seriously — come on, Jesse, we’re leaving.”

Jesse thinks for a moment, then shrugs. He begins walking towards the door with his beer in hand.

“Wait, what?” Ellie asks.

“You guys are gonna sit here and sort this shit out.” She says, throwing on her coat. “Until then, me and Jesse are going somewhere else.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“Dina—“

“Don’t wanna hear it.” She states as Jesse opens the door for her. “The two of you are smart, figure it out. You can come find us when you’re done.”

“See you,” Is all Jesse says, before pulling the door shut.

You and Ellie look straight ahead.

What the fuck.

Heat rushed to your cheeks. You didn’t know what to do. Dina was obviously pissed, but being left alone with Ellie was the last thing you wanted.

It’s as if she could read your mind.

“Get out.”

You raise your brows. “Excuse me?”

“They left because you don’t know when to shut your mouth,” She says. “And I don’t wanna keep hearing it, so get out.”

Your previous desire to get up and walk out of the door suddenly disappears. You set your drink down.

“No.”

“What?”

“You don’t like me? Great.” You say, kicking your feet back. “I don’t like you either. But I’m not gonna do what you say, when you say it, every single fucking time.”

“Wow.” She takes a sip of beer. “You know, you can be a real bitch sometimes.”

Your eyes flash over to the brunette in less than a second. But she doesn’t budge. Just leans into the couch, legs spread.

“Ellie—“ You begin. “What the fuck is your problem with me?”

She smirks as if you said something funny.

“I’m serious. What the fuck is it?” You repeat, staring intently.

“Are you that dense?” She meets your gaze. “Your attitude. If you couldn’t tell, you have a serious attitude problem. Should really get it checked out.”

It was your turn to laugh. “Like you don’t have an attitude problem.”

“Yeah, but that’s me.”

“Oh,” You nod sarcastically. “Okay. Sure, yeah. Because that makes sense.”

“See? Again with the attitude.”

Silence fills the room as you bite your tongue. The fact that you felt the impulse to respond immediately kind of proved Ellie’s point.

It pissed you off that she was right. You did have a bit of an attitude problem with her. In your defense, she never leaves you alone. You get along just fine with everyone else.

You had given up. You were ready to just go home and tell Dina the truth later. But as you stand up, out of absolutely nowhere, Ellie says:

“It sucks, ‘cause you’re hot. It’s a shame you’ve gotta act like such a fuckin’ brat.”

Were your ears deceiving you? Did Ellie fucking Williams just say that?

You laugh it off and shake your head. “You are truly something else.”

“I’m being serious.” She replies. “You could just sit there and look pretty. Don’t know why you choose to be so damn annoying instead.”

“It would be so nice if you just learned when to shut up, Ellie.”

“You gonna make me?” She says, watching you. You sigh dramatically.

“Didn’t think so.”

The way she was toying with you made your skin run hot. You weren’t sure if she really meant what she said, or if she was just trying to get a rise out of you. Either way, her sweatpants and sports bra combo wasn’t helping; you could feel yourself getting worked up.

“What are you getting at?” You blurt out. “What are you trying to do?”

“I’m not trying to do anything,” She murmurs, looking down then back up again. “Are you?”

You laugh harshly. “What the hell makes you think that?”

“You’re an attention whore,” She answers. “It wouldn’t surprise me.”

The way ‘whore’ rolled off of her tongue was so incredibly casual. And yet, you enjoyed the fact that she was saying it to you. Pigs must be flying. There was no way this was happening.

“I’m not a whore,” You stated.

“Oh?” She says coyly. “I didn’t call you a whore, I called you an attention whore. But you were quick to argue, so now I’m curious.”

You shift your weight to one leg. “I’m not gonna fuck you, Ellie.”

“Yeah? Then why are you still here?”

You felt your neck and ears become incredibly hot. Ellie leans forward, pushing herself up from the couch and faces you.

“I’d be flattered if you said it’s ‘cause you like me as a person, but we both know that’s not true.”

Her eyes were dazed and unwavering. It could’ve been the alcohol, but it also could’ve been the fact that your mini skirt had been riding up your thighs all night.

And as for you, you surprisingly weren’t repulsed. In fact, you liked seeing Ellie like this. If you were sober you might have dipped already, but your legs were heavy and your panties started to feel very constrictive.

“I think…” She begins walking closer. “That you want the exact same thing. You just act like you’re too good for it.”

You could feel your inhibition weakening. You drunkenly stare up at her. “You think I’m not?”

“I know you’re not.” She takes another step. You go to step back, but your heel hits the wall.

“I don’t blame Dina for trying, but we both know we’re not gonna make up.” Another step.

“No?” You whisper.

“Mm-mm.” Her nose was almost brushing up against yours, now.

The eye contact was unmatched. Ellie wasn’t budging, and neither were you.

“I fucking hate what you do to me,” You whispered against her lips.

She smirks. “I fucking love it.”

Immediately, her lips are engulfing yours, with so much damn fervor and need. You curled your fingers in her hair, and tugged down hard. You didn’t care if you hurt her — after all, she deserved it.

Ellie smiles into the kiss, pulling you in closer as a small grunt leaves her lips. Her legs cage you in against the wall as she forces her tongue into your mouth.

You hated her. You hated her. You hated her.

So how was it possible for her to make you feel so goddamn good?

Her hands begin grasping at the hem of your clothes with frustration.

“Fuck, baby.” She moans. “Take this shit off.”

You were compliant at this point; you merely slid your hands under your shirt and did what she said. Ellie presses her head against your chin, whispering a few more curses as she looks at your exposed breasts.

“So fucking hot,” She groans, pressing her lips to your neck. You whined out of pleasure as you pulled her hips closer to you.

“This is so embarrassing.” You mumble, shutting your eyes.

“Mm,” Ellie hums. “Seem to be handling it quite well, though.”

The brunette begins trailing her kisses downwards. You jump at the new sensation.

“Ellie—“

“Shh.” She murmurs, teething dangerously close to your nipple. “Gotta focus.”

When she latches on, your head immediately falls back. You’re practically speechless as she sucks and swirls her tongue around the hardened bud.

You wanted her to keep going, but you were worried. If Dina and Jesse caught you like this…

As for Ellie, she is absolutely shameless in the way she’s going in on your tits. It was clear that she had wanted to do this for a very long time — she was just being a complete ass about it.

She pulls away with a hard ‘pop’ before looking up at you with her green eyes. “Come here,” She says, grabbing your waist and pulling you down with her.

You gasp as the two of you land on the couch. Her hand quickly finds the back of your neck as she kisses you again, bucking gently against you. A soft moan escapes your lips as you pull back.

“What if Dina and Je—“

“Y/N,” She whispers, pulling her shirt over her head. “I’m in front of you, and I wanna fuck you. Please just shut up for once. Alright?”

You blush, looking down at her chest. Her nipples were poking out, hard as rocks. “You’re so fucking mean.”

“You’re fucking mean,” She says, smirking. “Depriving me of this for so damn long.”

“Didn’t think you wanted me,” You slur against her lips.

“Yeah, well… you are pretty fuckin’ annoying.” She huffs, as you lean in to kiss her again. As the minutes pass, you find yourself rolling your hips against hers.

“More,” You say quietly.

“Hm?”

“Want more of you, Ellie.” You sighed, nudging your fingertips under her waistband. “Please.”

She grins before sliding her sweatpants and underwear off. “Only because you said please.”

When your fingers drag down against her clit, she’s wet, and you absentmindedly moan. She sneers, staring up at you.

“What?” You ask.

“Nothing, just… that was the sluttiest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”

You hum against her skin, gently rubbing your thumb against her hood. “I could be sluttier.”

“Oh yeah?” She responds, grazing her teeth against your jaw.

You drag your fingers from her pussy to your lips, gently engulfing them in your mouth. You keep your eyes on her as you suck her juices off, groaning at the sweet taste.

Ellie’s face becomes that of a pornstar. Her eyes are half-lidded, nearly rolling back as she stifles a moan.

“Holy fuck,” She says, biting down on her lip. Her gaze drops to your lower body, and she begins shoving the fabric of your skirt up.

“What are you doing?” You murmur, watching the skirt bunch around your waist.

“Not gonna waste anymore time,” She explains, tugging at your panties. “I fucking need this pussy.”

You help her remove the undergarment, letting it drop onto the floor. Her hands settle on your ass as you gently lift her leg, lining yourself up against her.

“Fuck yes,” She whispers, watching carefully as you gently slot your cunt against hers.

Her cunt was soft, and incredibly slick and sticky. It takes you a moment to get the right angle before you begin to get a rhythm going.

Once you start speeding up, Ellie practically loses it. She’s breathing like she can’t get enough air.

“Fuck yes.” She repeats, bringing her hand down onto your ass with a hard slap. Her eyes are closed as she scrunches her brows in pleasure. “Holy fucking shit.”

“God,” You moan, sloshing your pussy up against hers. “You’re so wet, Ellie.”

The room becomes one filled with wet noises and moaning. Ellie’s hands are grabbing at everything — your ass, your tits, the couch. She’s in euphoria, seeing stars as she tries not to black out.

“Goddamn,” She mutters. “So fucking good, baby. Doing so fucking good.”

You whimper at the praise, still trying to wrap your head around what was happening. Ellie had been your worst enemy for months, and here you were, bumping clits with her like a fucking slut.

“Shit—“ She grunts, pushing her head back. “I‘m close, ‘m gonna cum.”

“Already?” You joke. “That’s quick, don’t you think?”

She quickly opens her eyes and looks at you. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?” You say slyly, slowing down ever so slightly.

She smacks your ass, hard. “Don’t you fucking dare.”

You slow down even more, grinning proudly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Ellie.”

“Y/N, you better fucking finish me off.”

“But… ” You whisper in an innocent tone. “We’re having so much fun, right?”

“I swear to—“ She exhales vexedly before sinking her nails into your hips. “Fuck it.”

She sits up, grabbing you forcefully before pushing you down so you’ve switched places. Ellie props your leg up on her shoulder.

“Wanna be a fucking brat? Hm?” She whispers, bringing herself down on your cunt harshly.

You moan in response, goosebumps beginning to form on your arms. You place your hands on her abs, pushing slightly in an attempt to get her to let up.

“Ellie, ‘s too much.” You mewl, as she ruts her pussy against yours.

“Shut up,” She mumbles. “You can take it.”

She keeps you down as she fucks you, ramming herself against your cunt. The sloshing of your clits sends you into a spiral.

“Oh my god, Ellie,” You murmur. “Feels so good.”

“Yeah?” She grunts. “You like this?”

You nod, but Ellie places a sharp slap on your boob.

“Answer me.”

“Y-Yeah,” You stammer, trying to grasp reality as the only thing going through your mind is how good her pussy feels on yours.

She uses her hand and grabs your chin, tilting your head up. “You better not fucking cum until I do, you hear me?”

You nod again. “Y-Yes, Ellie.”

The way Ellie scissors is ruthless. She’s concentrated, hair sticking to her forehead as she stares down at you. She watches the way your tits bounce as she fucks herself on you, watching as you beg her to slow down.

Her teeth clench as she nears her orgasm. She looks up at the ceiling before dropping her head back down.

“Fuck, I’m, shit— ‘m getting close.”

“Yeah?” You murmur.

“Uh-huh.” You bring your hand up to her cheek as she maintains her rhythm.

“Wanna cum with you, Ellie. Wanna cum all over your fucking pussy.”

“Fuck,” She says through gritted teeth. “Fuck yes. Keep talking, just like that.”

Ellie knew she wasn’t very far off. But she figured she’d make the most of it, in case this was the last time she got to see you like this.

“So good, Ellie,” You say softly. “Your pussy feels so fuckin’ good.”

“Yeah?” She exhales.

“Mhm,” You murmur. “Best I’ve ever had.”

Ellie’s eyes roll into the back of her head, her moans becoming choppy. She gently holds your foot as she grinds her hips down faster.

As Ellie becomes wetter, you stiffen and feel your stomach tightening. You were getting really close, and she could feel it.

“Y/N,” She says. “I’m—“

“Me too—“ Is all you can say, before drawling out into a moan. Ellie rides you deep into your high, breathing sporadically as she cums, herself.

For a second, the two of you barely move, merely catching your breaths. But eventually your leg starts cramping, and you slide it off her shoulder.

“Holy fuck.” You whisper. “I can’t believe we just did that.”

“I can.” Ellie says, slowly hopping off of you.

“You’re a liar.”

“How?” She says, leaning against the opposite end of the couch. “It was only a matter of time ‘til I got into your pants.”

“Oh,” You scoff. “So it was easy?”

“It was so easy.” She says, smiling. You look at the floor.

“Shut up.” You grin, reaching over to grab your clothes. You slowly put them back on as she copies you.

“Wanna go find Dina and Jesse now?” She questions, pulling her shirt over her head.

“I thought you said we couldn’t,” You say. “Since we weren’t gonna make up.”

“Mm, ‘cause we didn’t.” She states, cocking her head. “I need about three more rounds of this before we re-visit that topic.”

“Oh, fuck off.” You giggle, tossing your jacket at her. She laughs, putting her hands up to shield herself as it hits her.

“I’m kinda serious though,” She says. “You wanna give me head next time? Or…”

You smooth your hair down. “In your dreams, Williams.”

She looks around, contemplating for a moment. “Does that mean I give you head instead?”

“Ellie please shut up now.”

[findmeintheferns]

- You’re Not Good Enough | e.w.

you keep on coming back,

i keep letting you in

pairing: college player!ellie x fem college!reader

warnings/themes: angst, ellie is v emotionally unavailable (my type <3), she's a teensy bit manipulative, reader mentions past toxic relationship, slight smut, heavy making out (in public), fingering r! receiving, mentions of oral sex r! receiving

word count: 3.8k

synopsis: ellie ends things with you and quickly finds that the hold you have on her is much stronger than she thought. when she sees you a month later at a house party she tries to change things.

a/n: hello!!! i'm pretty proud of this so I hope you guys enjoy :) also this is based off of one of my favorite songs so I recommend listening to it while you read

“I think we should call it” she said as your eyes were glued to your phone, aimlessly scrolling while laying on her beat up couch. you switched off your phone directing your attention to her, confused by her question. you noticed then she was sitting with her head in her hands, gripping the roots of her short auburn hair.

“what?” you asked meekly, sitting up now. you already knew what she meant but you needed to make sure anyway.

“I just think we should probably stop whatever this is, it’s too much for right now,” she mumbled to the floor, still not making eye contact with you. you felt your heart drop suddenly and the familiar prickle hitting your eyes. you had felt so secure just moments ago, so comfortable, now you just felt an overwhelming sense of embarrassment. you were embarrassed over the fact that this was all a shock to you.

earlier in the night as you laid naked in her bed you realized you were probably falling in love with her. you thought in that moment as you breathed heavily next to each other that she was feeling the same way. now come to find out that she was probably already planning on ending it then. the sex that you thought was the start of something deeper was just her final goodbye to you, that’s why it felt so fucking good.

looking at her now with her body slumped over in tiredness you thought back to the way she phrased it. “we should call it” as if it was a group effort. as if she wasn’t the one dumping you. you had been dumped once before and they had used the same phrasing that she did. that first time you begged and pleaded with them to reconsider. you cried at their feet begging for one more chance, willing them to change their mind and stay. as you stared at ellie’s slouched over frame you remembered the painful embarrassment you felt begging for someone who didn’t want you back.

that bitter memory is what stopped the tears from falling out of your eyes. you let out a hardened sigh and stood up from the couch. “okay, if that’s what you want,”

ellie looked up suddenly, shocked by the casualty of your tone. she was bracing herself for the screaming, the last thing she ever expected from you was compliance. she had completed this cycle with girls before and the fallout was always a mix of yelling and lots of tears, a few had even thrown things. she could have sworn she heard your voice wavering just moments ago but now you seemed fine.

“what?” she questioned. genuinely not prepared for this level of calm.

“I said okay? if that’s what you want I can’t change that,” she was looking at you closely now. your face was hard but not necessarily mad. you looked like an entirely different person than the girl that was laughing on her bed just an hour before. the you standing in front of her now looked miles away.

once you realized she wasn’t saying anything else you began collecting your things you had left around her apartment. in your last breakup amongst the crying and dramatics you had left your favorite hoodie there and you didn’t want that to happen again. ellie followed you to the doorway of her bedroom where you were now grabbing your belongings, her eyes following you still in shock. you felt satisfaction from the way you were rattling her but most of you was just moving on autopilot, shutting your feelings off until you were away from her apartment and could finally burst.

once you had shoved everything of yours into a bag you made your way to the door. as your hand was on the knob you felt ellie’s on your shoulder, the feeling of her touch grounding you back into what was happening, causing your body to stiffen.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly. you were feeling it all now, the weight of it was starting to crush you and you feared if you turned to face her you would start crying for real that time. so instead of replying you opened the door and left, letting out heavy sobs as you walked to your car.

ellie stood at the doorway for a while after you left, mulling over everything that had just happened. she knew this was her ideal scenario. she could never have dreamed of a smoother break. especially when she knew you were both starting to develop intense feelings for each other, which was the reason she ended things in the first place. she knew she should feel relief now but the look on your face was haunting her. she realized then that she had taken away your softness. instead of feeling the freedom she desired she now felt an insurmountable wave of guilt.

—

over a month after you and ellie’s breakup, if you could even call it that, you now find yourself sitting on a couch at a crowded house party flirting with a random girl. you had wallowed in the pain of ellie ending things for a solid two weeks and had recently decided you finally needed to get back to being a functioning member of society. after your last break up you didn’t go out for six months afterwards and you were determined to break that cycle.

so now here you were in your little black dress and denim jacket listening to this girl talk about a concert she had just gone too while you made prolonged and flirty eye contact with her. this was new territory since in all of your past relationships you tended to be the girl blabbering away about something instead of being the one pretending to listen. this time around you were going to make sure you wouldn’t be the one getting naively attached.

ellie stood sourly outside of the party dreading whatever would meet her behind those doors. dina had practically forced her to come out tonight and she had absolutely no desire to be there. she expected herself to resume her usual role in casual hookup culture but something had been stopping her.

she had decided to end things with you when one day she realized you were the first thing she thought of when she woke up in the morning. it was a random tuesday and when she checked the clock she remembered you said you had class at that time. that immediate correlation to you was such a foreign feeling that it terrified her. she wasn’t used to caring for anyone but herself and hadn’t been in a long time. she found herself missing the comfortableness of fucking someone and never calling them again. she assumed that's what she’d be doing after you left her apartment that night but found she couldn’t.

in the month that you’d been apart she had done the unthinkable for her. she found herself drafting texts to you and not sending them. she hovered over your number multiple times toying with the thought of calling you but never doing it. she even made it a habit of stalking your instagram. she saw one night you went to a club with your friends and she felt strangely nauseous. she hated it. she hated being the stalker when she was so used to being the one being stalked. it made her loathe you and miss you all the same.

she finally made her way into the house immediately heading towards the liquor table. she knew she needed to alter her brain chemistry quickly if she was ever gonna make it through the night. after downing a drink she turned her head to look for dina and suddenly heard a sound she was all too familiar with.

you were still sitting on the couch but now you were just centimeters away from the random girl. you let out a loud giggle over something she said but you weren’t sure if you actually thought it was funny or if you just wanted to get in her pants. the answer to that question didn’t really matter because you suddenly felt her hand resting on your leg and knew you had succeeded. she slowly leans towards the side of your face adjusting your hair to whisper in your ear “I’m gonna get us some more drinks”

you smile softly at her and nod your head as she rises towards the kitchen. your eyes trail her hungrily when suddenly she brushes past a figure that quickly catches your attention. ellie's standing there tightly gripping her red solo cup staring at you. her jaw is lightly clenched in the way it does when she's mad but trying not to show it. you feel your posture stiffen from it’s previously relaxed position and all the carefree charisma you had been trying to channel all night is instantly sucked out of you.

after a minute of intense eye contact she begins making her way to the couch. your fight or flight kicks in and suddenly you began pulling yourself off of it. you instantly don't care at all about the cute girl in the kitchen pouring you a drink, you want to get out of there now. ellie picks up on your movement and begins following you outside. after making your way through the house you realize you won't be able to get away from her without causing a scene so you eventually decide to just stop in a more reserved part of the backyard, landing the two of you under an oak tree.

“what do you want?” you immediately ask her as soon as she reaches you. the tone of your voice isn't mad, just tired, and it kills her. she would rather you be angry, she wants you to be angry. she just stands for a while trying to think of what to say

“I just… I just wanted to talk,” she finally settles on. she knows it sounds lame but it's the truth. you sigh in resignation, leaning your back against the trunk of the tree while she figures out what to say to you. she isn't used to chasing people and doesn't know how to do it without sounding like a desperate loser. before she ended things you seemed to always be at her beck and call, now you want nothing to do with her. she leans her hand on the wood next to your shoulder, staring down at you before she speaks again, your eyes shifting downward in response, trying to avoid any level of intimacy with her you can. “I guess I just miss you and I want to see how you’re doing,”

you let out a dry laugh which catches her off guard. you finally look up at her and see her eyebrows furrowed in confusion which starts to bring some of your anger to the surface. “I’m doing great ellie. actually I was doing amazing till you decided to interrupt my night with this stupid conversation,” your tone now annoyed as opposed to your indifference from earlier.

“yeah it sure looked like you were having fun in there,” she replies harshly as her jaw tightens like it did earlier when she was watching you.

“what the fuck are you you talking about?” you snap, now staring directly in her eyes. you see in your peripheral vision a couple from a few feet away begin to stare but you're getting too heated to care.

“I heard your fake little laugh from the kitchen. were you gonna fuck her and then fake an orgasm too?” she's inching closer to you now, her grip tightening on the tree.

“are you seriously jealous right now? you realize you’re the one who dumped me, right?” you feel like your head is gonna explode in frustration. you had spent weeks trying to get over her and now she has the audacity to be angry about it.

“which clearly didn’t matter to you at all. does that girl in there know how emotionally closed off you are?” she pushes, remembering how distant you looked standing in front of her in her living room that day.

“are you fucking kidding me? do you realize how insane it is to be upset at someone for not crying when you dump them? have you lost your fucking mind?” you're fully yelling now, not caring about the people around the yard sneaking glances at the two of you. “and if anyone is emotionally unavailable it’s you. I should never have started something with you in the first place,”

ellie knows she's in the wrong. she knows everything you're saying is valid and she has no right to be talking to you right now. she should be leaving you alone to get over her but instead she wants to get under your skin some more and eventually beneath your clothes. she’s quiet for a moment, giving you time to calm down. she’s still staring down at you now watching the way your chest rises and falls as with your breaths you try to calm yourself down.

“look I know I'm a piece of shit, alright?” you roll your eyes at her, adjusting yourself into a cross armed position.

“I’m glad we’re in agreement ellie. are we done here?” you begin to straighten yourself to walk away when she pushes her other hand on the tree, closing you in. you'd normally freak out and push past her but something about her movements are weirdly gentle and the tequila shots you had taken earlier are starting to lower your guard.

“I treated you like shit and I regret it. just let me make it up to you okay?” you're staring up at her through your eyelashes now in a slight pout. your face looks so gentle that she moves to brush a lock of hair out of your face. you hate yourself for it but you lean into her touch. you know her words mean nothing and could never mend everything that happened between you two. but it's late, you're lonely, and you highly doubt that girl would still be inside if you push ellie away.

before you can stop yourself you're grabbing ellie by the back of her neck and kissing her. it takes her no time to kiss back, quickly grabbing your waist and pushing the two of you up against the oak. as her hands explored your sides you feel all the self respect and awareness leave your body. you're no longer acknowledging how gravely stupid you're acting and instead are focusing on how good it feels when she kisses your neck.

as she inches her hands past your dress and up your thighs suddenly the reality sets it, you're very much still in public. you look over her shoulder and quickly realize the people who had seen you screaming at each other moments ago can most definitely still see you now. you quickly push her off of you, readjusting your clothes as she stares at you in confusion. when you're done fixing yourself you point to the rest of the back yard in explanation.

she groans a little and you almost want to laugh at how frustrated she looks, her expression the same as a petulant child when you take away their favorite toy. you gently pull at her shirt and whisper “let’s just go back to your place,”

–

ellie has never been more happy to be sober as she drives you two back to her apartment in your car, a possessive hand resting on your upper thigh as she steers. the reality of what you're doing was starting to set in during the 15 minute drive. you think about telling her just to drive you home multiple times but when you go to stare at her the sight of her makes the words hang vacant in your mouth. why does she have to be so attractive?

she finds herself also sneaking glances at you during the ride. she didn't realized till then how much she missed the simplicity of your presence in the passenger seat. when you two were together previously you didn’t exactly go out on dates or anything. a typical night for you two was driving to a fast food place, fighting over the aux, making out in her car, going back to her place, smoking a little, and then ending off the night fucking. as much as she hated to admit it in the month you were apart she found herself longing for that routine again.

when you reach her apartment building as she moves to exit the car you feel yourself lingering in your seat for longer, contemplating stopping this for the last time. you stare up at the gray brick of her complex and remember how alone you felt exiting her building that day, your tears dampening the clothes you had taken back from her. although this memory should be be a reminder of how she hurt you, instead it makes you get up from your seat. you don't want that to be the last memory you had of here.

you make your way through the empty common place and soon reach her elevator. as soon as the metal doors shut her lips are on yours. you feel the cool metal of the elevator’s handrails pressing into your back as she pushes her body towards you. her hands are in your hair lightly tugging at the back of your head as you grasp onto her neck, wrapping your legs around hers. you hear the ding of the doors and she quickly grabs your hand to lead you to her place.

as soon as you're in her apartment doors she's pushing you towards the couch, articles of clothing coming off of the both of you as you make your way to the plush cushions. you're staring up at her the top half of you naked as she’s removing her shirt when the irony sets in. she's about to fuck you on the couch she had just dumped you on

you move to inch the rest of your dress which is gathered at your hips down when you feel her tug it off of you in one fast movement. she watches as your chest rises and falls once again but this time in anticipation. she quickly grips the back of the couch above you as she begins spreading your legs apart with one hand. you gasp as she reaches your panties, rubbing slow circles into them as she plants heavy kisses onto your neck.

after a few seconds your gasps intensify and she begins pulling the fabric down your legs, leaving your bottom half completely bare for her. your eyes grip shut in pleasure and shyness as she brings her hand back up against you. you feel her stop suddenly as she uses the hand previously resting on the couch to bring your face towards her.

“look up at me,” she firmly whispers as she resumes rubbing into you, her calloused fingers brushing up against your clit as you writhe in pleasure, now staring into her green heavy eyes. you feel her fingers slide into you slowly, quickening pace as you moan beneath her. your eyes follow her as she lowers herself towards you, using her other hand to grip your hips which were now moving with her fingers. you feel your orgasm beginning to build as she starts using her thumb to rub circles against your clit.

as you reach your peak you finally allow yourself to close your eyes, riding the high against her long fingers you had been fantasizing about since you saw her gripping her cup earlier in the night. once you finish she slowly pulls out of you, admiring you as you pant against her couch cushions. once your euphoria wears off theres an awkward pause. I should probably go.

“I-” you start but you’re quickly cut off by one of her hands raking through your hair, which was now slightly damp with sweat.

“let’s go to my bed i wanna taste you,” she whispers and then pushes herself off the couch towards her bedroom. fuck it

you follow

–

you awake the next morning and the only word that comes to your mind is fuck. you're laying completely bare and under ellie’s sheets, her back turned against you in a peaceful slumber.

why the fuck did i do that? what is wrong with me?

as you contemplate just how little self respect you seem to have you feel her shift beside you, facing you with a light smile. you hate how good she always looks in the mornings.

“morning,” she mumbles against your shoulder sleepily. you need to get out of there now. after a few moments you begin to sit up, gripping the sheets around your chest as you try to recall where you had flung all your clothes the night before. she's more awake now and staring at you.

“what’s up? do you wanna get bagels from that place across the street?” she asks, still examining your facial expressions trying to read what they mean. you used to go the bagel place all the time when you would stay at her place.

“ellie no,” you reply, rising from her bed and making your way towards the living room in search of your clothes. she quickly follows, throwing on a large shirt she had laying on the floor of her bedroom as she watches you in amusement while you're picking up your garments one by one across her apartment.

“why not?” she muses, the casualty of her voice driving you insane.

“because. this isn’t a thing,” you say, quickly throwing on your clothes and gesturing between the two of you. “this won’t happen again,”

“why not? you seemed to enjoy it last night?”

“that’s besides the point okay,” you snap back in exasperation, now frustrated and trying to find one of your shoes. “you’re not good for me. no actually you’re not good enough for me,” “and why is that?” she asks, not offended in the slightest bit which makes you even more angry.

“you fucking know why. you never have been. this has never been more than sex to you and i'm tired of it,” you spit out as you finally grab the missing shoe. that last part makes ellie pause. deep down she knows it's not just sex for her, and in fucked up way she's glad that you haven't picked up on that yet.

“oh don’t act like you’re above that, were you ever gonna talk to that girl you were all over on the couch last night or does the line only draw at casual sex when it comes to me?” she snaps back at you, no longer amused by the back and forth between you.

she's right, you weren’t planning on ever seeing that girl again. but what she didn’t realize was the fact that you were acting that way because of her. how could you be expected to commit to something when your last fling disposed of you like you were nothing?

“I’m leaving now. please don’t text me,”

she rolls her eyes at you as you make your way towards her door. “yeah sure. I’ll see you soon,”

you slam the door in her face, knowing it's probably true.

[findmeintheferns]

⭒ love me rough

𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: ellie has always been so soft & gentle with you, until today. after a rough day on patrol you see a side to her that you didn’t realise was there all along & it feels so good

𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: ellie williams x reader

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜: pet names, rough smut, angst, strap, begging, etc, not proofread// i’ve had sm writers block MINORS DNI

𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: approx 1.8k

—

You knew you were lucky, because while others slaved away on patrol trying not to be brutally murdered, you spent your days in Jackson’s garden making sure all the fruits, veggies & plants were happy and healthy. You loved your life, but you couldn’t help feeling a little guilty watching people return all beaten and bruised when the hardest thing you did that day was try and revive a tomato plant. The thing you hated the most though was that one of those people happened to be Ellie, your girlfriend. You had been dating for over a year now, she was the first person you ever truly loved and trusted. It wasn’t easy seeing her covered in blood after a long day or trying to pick the prickles out of her face after Shimmer got spooked & knocked her off into a bush. Whenever she returned from patrol you really did try your best to hide your concern, but Ellie always saw right through you.

“I’m okay baby, really I am” she’d say, pulling you onto her lap and cradling your face like you were the one who had been out killing infected all day. She was selfless and kind like that, to you at least. Today, however, was different. You had been home for a few hours, trying to make the space as clean as possible so Ellie would be able to relax as soon as she got back. You were dozing off on the couch when suddenly the door slammed open and Ellie stormed in, heading straight towards the bathroom.

“Baby?” you called out, confused as she rarely acted like this. You made your way over to the door and peaked in, Ellie had removed her top and was washing the blood off her chest in the sink. It was hard not getting distracted by the sight of her. Her rough hands gripping vanity as she bent over the sink, highlighting her toned back muscles in the process. She was incredibly attractive, but now wasn’t the time to get hung up on that. You gently push the door open and move to wrap your arms around her waist, leaning your head onto her back.

“You okay?” you hum softly. Ellie turns around and wraps you in her arms.

“I’m sorry, today has been so fucking annoying” she groaned, rolling her head back to face the ceiling.

You gently rub circles on her back as you look up at her, “Wanna talk about it?”

Ellie’s eyes shift down to you with a look you don’t really recognise, she was filled with…hunger?

“No, actually. I don’t want to talk.” She utters, grabbing your waist and lifting you up, your legs wrapping around her.

“I want to fuck you until the only thing I can think about is how good you feel, that okay with you?”

You pause momentarily, taken back but her behaviour but also incredibly turned on. You nod, unsure of what to say.

“Good” Ellie mutters, roughly carrying you out of the bathroom. Once you reached the bed she tossed you down, removing all your clothes quicker than what you thought was humanly possible, but she wasn’t done. She flipped you over, conveniently putting you in her favourite position, doggy.

“Stay there” She demands, walking away on a desperate mission to find something. You knew exactly what she was looking for and your pussy ached at the thought.

After rustling through multiple draws a soft “Here we go.” escapes her lips, you try to turn your head around to see her discovery however she puts you in your place instantly, “Nuh ah princess, you don’t get to look yet”. You would always pretend you hated that nickname, although you weren’t fooling anyone. You heard Ellie pull off her jeans followed by the sound of pulling and clicking. Her footsteps drew closer and before you knew it, she was behind you gripping your ass.

“You know how I’m about to fuck you, don’t you?” she spat “Such a pretty girl, you look so beautiful”. Listening to Ellie speak made you so incredibly aroused you temporarily lost the ability to form words, so instead you nodded intently.

“You know how much I love seeing you bent over like that. Fuck you’re soaked, I haven’t even touched you yet” you groan at her words, trying to grind up against her but being met with a hard strap teasing your entrance.

“Don’t worry baby, I’m still going to warm you up first” Ellie smirks, pulling your panties to the side. She teases your clit causing soft moans to exit your mouth uncontrollably. Suddenly you feel her fingers fill you up. It was rough and abrupt but still felt so good. Your whole body fills with a heavenly intense tingling sensation. You grasp the sheets, groaning Ellie’s name as she fucks you.

“I think that’s enough” she spits, and before you get a second to process Ellie is thrusting the purple strap-on inside you. You throw your head down against the bed, grasping at whatever you can as you let out muffled moans.

“Good girl, taking it so well for me.” Ellie groans as she claws onto your ass, pounding you over and over. Your head was fuzzy from the intensity, but it felt so fucking addicting. Ellie thrusted even harder, hitting your g-spot in the process.

“F-fuck Ellie right there, FUCK right there” you slur, taken over by the pleasure.

“That good yeah baby? You like when I fuck you rough huh?” You were drunk on Ellie’s words, getting closer & closer to climaxing every second.

“Tell me how good I make you feel Princess.” You wanted to please Ellie so bad but you couldn’t get yourself to function enough to form a sentence. Instead loud moans escaped your mouth.

“Come on, use your words or I’ll stop” she grunted.

“F-feels, feels so good Ellie. You fuck me so good.” you mumble.

You always knew Ellie loved hearing you talk while she fucked you, and this was once again proven because the second you opened your mouth her thrusts became sloppy and she let out a low (and incredibly attractive) moan.

Suddenly Ellie was flipping you over so that you were now facing her. She took in your appearance, you were wrecked. Your once neat braids were falling out, stray fly always galore. It looked like you had heavily applied blush on your cheeks and the bridge of your nose when it reality, you’d just be fucked really good. Ellie drooled at how beautiful you looked, no matter how messy.

“I want to look at you while you cum, okay baby?” Ellie whispered, her gentleness almost starting to show again.

You nodded in response, barely able to keep your eyes open. One of Ellie’s arms was pinning your hand down and the other moved down towards your clit. Still thrusting into you, Ellie’s thumb began to press fast circles against your clit. You were used to her starting slow, so it was a little overstimulating, but you didn’t mind. Her pace continued to pick up and you knew you weren’t going to be able to last long.

Fuck. You kinda wish you were able to last longer than this “Mm gonna cum” you mumble.

Suddenly Ellie abruptly stops & you looked up at her frustrated.

“Beg.” she spits

Flustered and confused, you just continue to look up at her and for some reason, this really pissed her off, “Beg, otherwise I’m not letting you finish.” Ellie orders, pinning both your hands above your head.

You understood now, “Please Els, don’t stop” you groan.

“Not good enough.” she uttered “Try again.”

“Please baby, fill me up again. I want to feel you inside me as I finish.” You frown, desperately missing the way she felt.

“Much better” she smirks, moving her hand down to your clit & roughly thrusting back inside you. You were impressed by her multitasking.

You gasp, dragging your nails down her back driving Ellie crazy.

“You know how much I love it when you do that. Fuck.” she grunted, picking up her pace.

You always tried to be reasonably quiet, there were families nearby, but you had lost all control at this point. You moaned over and over as she thrusted again and again, harder each time.

“Oh shit.” She blurted “Fuck.”

Ellie tightly grabbed onto the headboard, throwing her head back. She was so incredibly attractive, her mouth gaped open & her eyes screwed shut. Was she about to…cum? She had never finished while fucking you with the strap before. The thought of her pleasure tipped you over the edge and you came hard, groaning Ellie’s name at the same time.

“Good girl baby, good girl finish for me.” Ellie spluttered, “Fuck, fuck, fuck you feel so good. I’m so close ugh.”

Ellie dropped her head, panting. You assumed holding her position probably took alot of stamina, but you were far too much of a bottom to know first hand. Having already finished, her sloppy thrusts almost hurt from how sensitive your pussy felt, but you wanted her to cum more than anything so you endured it. Ellie’s nails dug into your hips and you knew it wasn’t going to take much more. Grabbing her neck you pressed rough hickeys into her skin, that was enough to push Ellie over the edge. As she spluttered and groaned you couldn’t help but moan at the sight. You loved making her feel good. After one more intense thrust Ellie rolled off you, flopping down by your side, clearly trying to get her breath back. You scoot closer, admiring the view. Finally she made eye contact with you, pushing your stray hairs behind your ear which made your heart flutter.

“You okay baby, I wasn’t too rough yeah?”

You shook your head, she has no idea how much you enjoyed that.

“You felt amazing” you grinned

“I’ve never cum like that before, shit. Are you sure your okay? I don’t know what happened I just needed to get my anger out and I-”

“Shh babe,” you cut her off, “I’d tell you if I wasn’t okay with it. I wish I’d seen this side of you earlier. I want to make you come like that again.”

Ellie laughed, “Your pussy is going to need a little break bub, let’s shower, I’ll wash your hair.”

And just like that your soft & gentle Ellie was back, you loved every part of her.

[findmeintheferns]

don’t cross the line

pairing: ellie williams x reader

warnings: smut (mdni), cheating, angst, mutual masturbation, just morally wrong, mentions of alcohol

Parties in Jackson fucking suck.

It’s not like youve ever been at a different party, but still. You’ve read about them in the little magazines from the old days you found on patrols. Small blurbs about meaningless celebrities, a concept you barely even understood, drinking themselves to oblivion. Paparazzi pictures of young starlets in black limousines, rappers getting coked up in dark bathrooms. You never really got it. Parties in Jackson were like a parallel universe.

“They must have made that up” you told Dina, your best friend and trusty patrol partner. “Nope” she shrugged. “Heard that Paris Hilton girl was really like that.”

Paris hilton would have hated Jackson parties. A bunch of old people, and a handful of young ones, dancing around to the beat of an old country song, if you could even call that a beat.

You could have responded with a simple “No thanks” when Jesse had invited you to tonights party. You could have told him you were tired, busy, sick, he would have left you alone - But you didn’t, alas, this is how you found yourself here. Alone, in an old barn, listening to the batshit insane, drunk ramblings of an old fart named Seth.

“Ripped that fella’s throat with just one move” Seth mumbled, laughing stupidly at his own words.

“Go — got him real good n’dirty, I tell ya”

Whoever said “respect the elderly” clearly never met Seth. His breath reeked of whiskey and cigarettes that he traded for food and supplies, and my god, he was standing so close you could see the veins in his yellow tinted eyeballs. You really were too polite for your own good, you thought to yourself, because Ellie would have shoved him away already.

Ellie.

You felt like slapping yourself in the face. What the hell does she have to do with this? Why can’t you just let it fucking go already? It truly was desperate, and pathetic, and borderline immoral, the amount you spent thinking about that girl.

So what if she used to be your best friend. So what if she was the first girl who ever made you feel something, even if it was too late. She has a girlfriend, and she’s not thinking about you, she doesn’t care, maybe never has, probably never will. She left you for her, with that useless excuse of “Cat doesn’t like it when we hang out” followed by a pathetic “We can do it in secret, though.”, when she saw your eyes turn glossy and your breath hitch up. Fuck her, and fuck those memories. Fuck all the nights you spent together telling each other your deepest and darkest desires, and especially fuck that time you almost-

“Hey”

You'd recognize that voice anywhere.

A royal blue flannel button up shirt appeared at the corner of your eye.

“Mind if I steal her for a sec, Seth?”

She sounded raspy, laced with that velvety layer her voice had adorned whenever she had a sip or more of Whiskey. When you drank together for the first time, at the ripe age of sixteen, next to a big bonfire and the ever so familiar scent of pine lacing your sense of smell, you told her that she sounds different when she’s drunk. More mature, somehow. Less fidgety, slower, sultrier. She replayed that sentence over and over again in her head. “Sultry”, she whispered to herself. “I sound sultry.”

Seth cleared his throat, a deep cough escaping his lungs.

“Of course, pretty girl like her shouldn’t be around me for too long, might start acting all wild!” The old man threw his hands in the air, and disappeared somewhere in the scarce crowd.

Your heartbeat was faster than normal, but that’s not new. Not when she was around, anyways.

Ellie stood by your side, hands crossed over her chest. She had a glass of Rum in her hand, not Whiskey. Funny.

“You’re a Rum type of girl now?” you questioned, never meeting her gaze. If you bothered to look to your side, you would have noticed she was staring.

“Fame’s changed me, I guess” She responded, mixing the fluid in her glass.

One week ago, Ellie went on patrol. One week ago, Ellie killed more infected in one go than anyone else had in years. She was the town’s hero, the infected slayer. Cat even made her a badge. She wasn’t wearing it now.

“Cat or fame?” you quietly mumbled under your breath.

You weren’t spectacularly brave with your words, but one glass of presumably expired white wine made a simple girl go very far.

“Hah. Funny” she scoffed dryly, earning her Rum another pointless swirl.

“You’re the towns hero, I’m the towns comedian, we’re both pretty famous, i’d say.”

Ellie’s gaze was fixed on the wall. She squinted her eyebrows slightly, humming in response. You looked over at her, for just a second, noticing the dim light reflecting in her eyes. She was a sight to behold, the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen. You wish she knew that. You wish you could be the one to tell her.

You inhaled deeply, and it came out so shaky that when you exhaled you were terrified she heard the tremor in your body.

“Thank’s for the save, by the way” you said quietly, apologetic. You even smiled politely, which was absolutely for nothing, because she wasn’t looking at you, avoiding your gaze like the plague.

It’s not like Ellie and you didn’t talk since that night she told you she couldn’t see you anymore. It’s been two whole years. You had to talk, you had to communicate somehow, even if it was through polite smiles and dry conversations during shared patrols. Hell, you even went to Cat’s birthday party you somehow were invited to. Dina was practically on her knees begging you to come with her, and who could say no to Dina when she looked at them with those puppy eyes that could tug at a monsters heartstrings?

“Yeah, no problem. That man’s a fucking dickhead” Ellie scoffed, leaned against the bar and crossed her legs.

“Where’s Cat?” you questioned. Are you sure you only had one glass of wine?

“She’s not here” Ellie responded dryly, seemingly annoyed at your question. She almost tsk’d when you asked. She didn’t look surprised by your rude antics, maybe you got like this more often than you thought. How about that time you told her you’re surprised Cat didn’t pack her a sandwich with a sticker on it’s wrapper during patrol?

“I can tell… why?” you inquired. Your own voice was deeper too, it almost matched hers.

“Didn’t wanna come” Ellie said, stuffing a hand inside her pocket. She was uncomfortable, clearly, and wanted, needed, to make you shut up. It’s not because your presence annoyed her, It’s because she knew she was wrong. She knew she fucked up when she ditched you, and if only you knew how it was eating her alive every day. She had to do it, because in her eyes, she would have done something much worse if she hadn’t.

Being around you when she wasn’t with Cat was hard enough, because she knew she could never have you, that you’d never want her. Not if you knew. You were too smart, and too good, to ever want to be with her. Cat was easy, she didn’t ask too many questions. She’d lay there for Ellie when Ellie told her to, and she would agree to stop a conversation when it got too personal. When Ellie cried at night, and woke up sweating, she didn’t ask why. She let it go, and Ellie knew you never would have. You’d fucking hate her if you knew. She could have saved the world — and she didn’t. He didn’t let her. The wounds she had were too deep, they were clawing and tugging at her skin from the inside. Ellie was a tortured soul, and you didn’t deserve that. That’s why she left, and maybe, that’s why she was here right now.

“That’s too bad” you mumbled quietly. You did your best to make it sound genuine, and you failed miserably.

Ellie scoffed.

“Yeah”

You shifted slightly, and walked over to stand right in front of her. You met her eyes for the first time. Those stupid, beautiful emerald eyes.

Ellie looked down, and looked up at you. She swallowed deeply.

“Anyways” you sighed. “Think I’m gonna go”

“Already?” she questioned, slamming her Rum filled glass on the bar counter.

“Yeah, I’m cold and it sucks in here, so” you said, and smiled politely. It really was freezing, and talking to her like this was painful enough.

“Let me walk you” she blurted.

What?

“Huh?” walk you where? the door? you knew where it was.

She tugged at the loose string on the bottom of her button up. It was ironed, where did Ellie find and iron? Did Maria do it for her? Town hero perks?

“Let me walk you home” she repeated, her voice carrying a touch of insistence. Once again, you found yourself captivated by her burning gaze, those eyes that seemed to hold secrets yet to be unveiled.

“I can walk home alone, Ellie” You huffed, ever the stubborn.

“No” she exclaimed.

“Maria said it’s been pretty dangerous”

“I can have my own back, you know, I’m not an idiot” You scoffed. You knew she didn’t think you were an idiot, why did she have to walk you home?

“I know that — Just wanna make sure you’re safe”

“Gosh, Ellie thank you! thank you!” You said in the most high pitched voice you could fathom. “The town’s hero is at it again, everybody!” You exclaimed, slightly raising your voice, earning both of you a few curious looks from the townspeople.

Ellie wasn’t embarrassed. She was just annoyed. And she wanted to slap you in the face for being so stubborn.

She grasped your arm with an unexpected forcefulness, pulling you along as she swiftly guided you outside. In the process, you accidentally bumped into a few people, hastily muttering a string of apologetic "sorry" and "excuse me" as you hurriedly tried to navigate through the crowd. You attempted to resist her firm grip, trying to free yourself with a burst of strength, but you found yourself overpowered by her determination.

Once she managed to pull you outside, she finally released her grip on your arm, allowing you a brief respite from her firm hold.

“You are not walking me anywhere, Williams” you scoffed. What made her think you needed her help?

“You’ve always been so fucking stubborn” she turned to face you. Her hands were on her hips. Her face wore the same expression she did when you went on your first patrol together, when you insisted on going left, even though she knew you had to go right.

“I’m walking now” you stepped away, and started walking. “And if you followed me — you wouldn’t be walking me home, you’d be stalking me” you exclaimed as you backed away.

Ellie quickly followed your pace, her boots stomping on the snow covered ground.

“You are”

Step

“So fucking annoying”

This was the longest conversation you’ve had with Ellie in two whole years. It felt like nothing’s changed, except for everything.

The following ten minutes were torturous. You were walking fast, Ellie right behind you. No words were exchanged between you, the silence enveloping the crisp air as you both walked in silence. Your attention turned inward, focusing on the sensation of the cold air filling your lungs with each breath, and the soft sound of Ellie's boots pressing against the creaking snow beneath her.

You finally arrived at your place. It’s grey exterior blanketed in a pristine layer of snow. Every inch of its structure was adorned with a delicate coat of white.

You turned around to face her.

Ellie’s skin appeared slightly flushed, with a rosy tinge highlighting her cheeks, and her nose bore a noticeable reddish hue, hinting at the crisp winter air. She didn’t say a word.

You took a deep breath. She looked cold.

“Want me to make you some tea?” you questioned. You didn’t mean to let her in, and she didn’t expect you to ask. She looked surprised, her eyebrows turned slightly upwards.

“M’fine” Ellie insisted, her voice resolute despite the chill in the air. She sought warmth by tucking her hands deep into the pockets of her dark green coat.

“Jesus, Ellie — Just come inside” you urged, the concern evident in your voice.

“If walking you was stalking wouldn’t coming in be breaking and entering?” she inquired, a sarcastic tone lacing her words.

“Just —“ you uttered, your voice trailing off as you reached for the doorknob, slowly opening the door.

“Come inside”

"Fine," Ellie relented, her resolve wavering as she decided to follow in your footsteps.

The house welcomed you with its cozy warmth, though slightly disorganized in its appearance. Yet, amidst the subtle chaos, it remained a comforting sanctuary, always your safe space. Being there brought a sense of solace, as if the troubles of the outside world faded away. And with Ellie's presence by your side, an inexplicable tingling sensation spread through your being.

You proceeded to heat up some water, carefully attending to the task of preparing tea, a familiar ritual.

Ellie never knew where to sit, or where to stand, so there she was, examining every single one of your movements. The air felt thick, like you could cut the tension with a switchblade.

"Your house looks different," she murmured in a low voice, leaning against the cream-colored wall.

“Bad different?” You questioned, taking out two mugs from the cupboard.

“No, just… more stuff” she murmured.

"Well," you uttered as you gently placed the teabag into the awaiting mug. “You haven’t been here in a while, so”

Ellie hummed in response, and bit her lower lip.

“You’ve kind of changed too.” you murmured.

“Tattoos looking bigger. And you look more tired. Plus, your shirt looks ironed, so maybe you even… showered? Woah.” you teased.

“Fuck, you really are funny huh?” she said, crossing her arms.

“Always were a sucker for my jokes” you responded with a sly smile.

She didn’t mean to say what she said next, because that was like opening a pandora’s box. Or, more like, the gates to hell.

“This is the longest conversation we’ve had in years” Ellie murmured. You handed her the green colored mug, your finger brushing her’s for a second. You both flinched.

“Mhm” you took a sip from your tea. It was still so hot, it burned your tongue.

“And who’s fault is that?” You questioned, raising your eyes to meet her burning gaze. It was incredibly impulsive.

Ellie rolled her eyes. She looked baffled.

“You still don’t get it, do you? She questioned.

“Get what? that your girlfriend doesn’t like me? trust me Ellie, I get that, crystal clear.” You smiled, as you slammed your mug on the counter.

“I’m not doing this right now” she declared, her tone firm and resolute.

Oh, did that sentence burn through you.

“I think you are” you stepped forward to face her. She looked terrified, like a lost puppy. Not so “town’s hero” now. Thank god she wasn’t wearing Cat’s badge, because she would have looked ridiculous.

“I’m not” she said quietly, looking at the floor beneath her.

You felt the ever so familiar lump forming in your throat. She owed you.

“Tell me what it is exactly that I don’t get” you spat. The pent up anger from all these years finally just fucking bursted. She left you. She left you for her, your best fucking friend.

“It’s just funny how she didn’t give a shit about Jesse, or Dina, or anybody! Just fucking me, right? I’m the fucking problem?” you blurted. Your voice was shaky, filled with rage. The tears in your eyes started forming. You didn’t even know how much you were holding it inside of you, it all overflowed, at 2AM, right in your kitchen. Right where she told you she couldn’t see you anymore.

Ellie was frozen, her mouth parted slightly. She was flushed, and it showed. It wasn’t the cold weather anymore, it was you. She didn’t expect this to happen so fast. She came inside for some fucking tea.

That’s when you shoved her. And she didn’t even fucking move.

“Don’t fucking do this to me” she begged. Her voice was desperate, and shaky, and what the fuck was she hiding?

You found yourselves standing uncomfortably close to each other, the proximity palpable. The warmth of her breath gently grazed your forehead, creating a tantalizing sensation that sent a shiver down your spine.

She took a deep breath.

“What I did was bad. But — fuck, Jesse and Dina never slept over, you know that?”

The room fell quiet.

“So?” you whispered. You couldn’t even look at her.

“Don’t do this” she begged. Her eyes were glossy. She looked as if she was about to cry, too. Her chest was pressed up against yours.

“I’m not doing anything” you mumbled quietly. Her body was so warm. You felt like you were about to have a heart attack, and Ellie felt like she already did.

“If I would have stayed… I would have done something… so much worse” she whispered. Her hands were trembling.

“What would you have done?” you whispered against her. Dangerously close now. You could feel her unsteady heartbeat.

“You know” she whispered back. You saw the vein on her neck, how beautifully spattered the freckles on her skin were, like a constellation.

“Please” you begged.

That’s all it took.

Almost.

"No," she whispered, her voice barely audible. The proximity between your lips was almost intimate, an agonizingly close distance.

“Please” you begged.

Her eyes were dark, breaths unsteady and fast, like she just ran a marathon. Her chest was rising up and down. She’s dreamt of this moment, for so fucking long. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t fuck more people up. She’s done more than enough.

“You don’t know what you fucking do to me” She whispered against your skin. Her eyes were shut closed. If she didn’t see, maybe it would’ve been less wrong. If she didn’t see, maybe Cat wouldn’t either. She could go home, kiss her girlfriend good night. Walk away. But there you were, pressed up against her, making her head spin like a carousel, fogging her brain with your scent, and your lips, and all of the times she pictured you like this, helpless and begging. She never looked at Cat how she looked at you. Cat never made her feel like she could faint at any given moment. Cat was safe, she was a sunny day. You were a thunderstorm, a cloud, soaking her up. When Ellie said she would have done something so much worse, she meant that.

Cat was right when she told her to stay away, she always was. When Ellie begged Cat to stop her ramblings, Cat told her she looks at you like she’s hungry. That it’s disgusting, that she wishes it was her. She was crying, and begging, and she was right. That’s why Ellie knocked on your door that way. One person she could save.

Ellie’s hands were firmly pressed up against the wall, locking you in.

“You dont know…” she whispered.

You whimpered silently at her words. You were aching everywhere, you just needed her to do something.

“Show me” you said, and it came out more as a plead. You were begging her.

Ellie leaned in, drawing her face closer to yours, and your lips delicately brushed against each other. The electrifying touch sent a shiver down your spine, evoking a soft, involuntary moan that escaped your lips. It went straight to her heart, and then slipped right to her cunt.

Her lips were plump against yours. Just barely touching.

She delicately brushed her lips against yours, causing a gentle collision that sent a jolt of electricity through both of you. A shaky breath escaped her mouth.

“Ellie…” you whispered. Ellie, just do it. you can’t take it anymore.

She abruptly slammed her hands against the wall, causing it to tremor ever so slightly. The suddenness of the action startled you, making you jump in response.

“Shit” she huffed.

And her lips weren’t against yours anymore, neither was she.

Ellie backed away. She couldn’t.

Your lips quivered, and there it was. Her precious thunderstorm erupting.

The tears came out hot, and sticky. They ran all over your cheeks. You let out a quiet sob. Ellie was staring, her breaths uneven and her mouth agape. She almost did what shes been dreaming of doing since the moment she saw you. Almost.

your legs betrayed you, giving out completely. You crumbled down onto the floor, unable to stand any longer. With tears welling up in your eyes, you instinctively curled up, bringing your head between your legs as you tried to suppress the sobs that threatened to consume you.

It was a truly pathetic sight, Ellie towering over your quivering body. It’s been two whole years, and you missed her every single day that passed. It was gnawing at you. Seeing them hand in hand, kissing on the street, making out behind the dumpster. Thinking of Ellie hugging her at night, caressing her skin, touching her everywhere, telling her she loves her, fucking her, tasting her and not you. It should have been you. But it couldn’t be.

If only you knew that when Ellie was between her thighs, you were the only one she thought of. If only you knew Ellie had to bite her lip till it bled to stop from screaming your name. That’s why Ellie always turned off the lights, That’s why Ellie shoved Cat’s face down on the bed with her entire palm when she took her from behind. That’s why she always closed her eyes.

Her body gave up on her, too.

She sat on the cold concrete floor, trying to steady her breaths.

“Look at me” she commanded. It was breathy, and shaky, more of a plea than a real command.

You wiped your tears.

“I can’t” you whispered.

“Please” she begged.

You mustered the strength to lift your face, raising your gaze to meet hers.

“I think about you all the time” you blurted.

She huffed in response. Your soft voice was killing her. She couldn’t even respond. She just watched.

“Ellie…” you whined. The distance between you was torturous. There was so much space, and at the same time, no space at all. You could still feel her lips brushing against yours. You wished you could taste her. She yearned for that even more. She felt like something was chaining her down to the floor, holding her captive.

What you did next, is something Ellie had buried deep inside her darkest fantasies.

You delicately caressed your smooth neckline, doe eyes burning through her’s.

Ellie swallowed deeply.

“What are you doing?” she mumbled, lower than a whisper. Her voice was raspy, and her pupils were blown out. She was imagining, for sure, hallucinating, intoxicated by the picture of you being pressed up against her. It couldn’t be real.

“I need you” you whimpered.

She almost crawled right to you right then and there. Her knees were spread open in front of you. Her breath hitched in her throat. Her heart felt like it was leaping out of her chest.

“You cant” she insisted. It felt like she tried to convince herself, and not you. You couldn’t. There’s no way.

“I want you” you whispered, lowering your hand to caress your breasts.

Something took over you. Being pent up with frustration for years birthed such a desperate sight, she couldn’t fathom it.

She grunted in response. Do that again and she’d lose her fucking mind.

You cupped your breast.

Ellie threw her head against the wall. She forgot how to breathe. Her nostrils were flared, and she almost slapped herself in order to convince her that this was real. This was happening.

“Holy shit” she wheezed.

“Please” you begged, and squeezed your breast forcefully. Your nippled hardened against the material, so you gave them a twist, sending a bolt of electricity right through your clothed cunt.

Ellie’s mouth was agape. She was transfixed, mesmerized. Her cheeks grew more red by the second. It was so fucking wrong, she almost told you to stop, but she couldn’t. Her voice felt dry and her brain was buzzing. Her ex best friend was so desperate for her she couldn’t even help herself.

The image of Cat went through her head. Cat seeing, walking in. Cat trembling and crying, telling her she told her so. Cat screaming at her that she’s an awful person, that she hurt her, That she should burn in hell.

Then, you took your shirt off.

And Cat was gone.

Her eyes were darting from your tits to your needy eyes. You were giving her that look she only saw in her dreams. That desperate, pathetic twinkle in your eye. She saw a girl look like that in an old porno she found. Ever since, that picture of your face replacing the actresses burned through her memory. She knew it was for her, you were showing her, but she looked like she wasn’t supposed to see, a peeping tom, a pervert. Her cunt twitched inside her tight black boxers. Cat never made her cunt feel like this.

The dainty lace bra adorned your body. you looked like an angel, eyes red from crying, cheeks still wet, chest rising up and down. She wanted to ruin you.

You stopped for a second, looked for a sign to keep going.

The room was silent, the only noises that muttered were your soft whimpers and Ellie’s harsh, uneven breaths.

“Take it off” she whispered. You almost couldn’t believe she said that. You nodded pathetically. She always knew you’d be like this. She imagined you nodding your head frantically, kneeling beneath her and undoing her belt, way too many times she wouldn’t dare to admit. Her heavy breaths were a confession to all of her sins.

You unclasped your bra, your tits spilling out of it with a sigh of relief.

Ellie was hypnotized, fully staring. She remembered the first tine she saw you in a bikini. Jesse noticed she was staring, and he gave her some advice. “Look at the ground or the sky, pretend there’s something super interesting going on there”

She didn’t need to pretend now.

“Fuck” she grunted, feeling her cunt twitch inside her briefs. Her mouth was agape, she wanted those nipples between her teeth. Her tongue slightly moved involuntarily inside her mouth, imitating the kitten licks she’d give your tits if she could. It was truly pathetic. Thank god you couldn’t see. Her fists were clenched, and she was forcing her feet onto the ground. If she pretended something was pulling her in, she wouldn’t crawl towards you and take you like she always wanted.

You toyed with your nipples, rolling them between your fingers, almost as if you read her mind.

“Spit on ‘em” Ellie demanded desperately.

“Ellie…” You whimpered, her voice was making you grow wetter by the second. If you took your pants off, she could see the wet patch that soaked through your panties, making them almost sheer. You were almost embarrassed, but it was too late now.

“Do it” she commanded.

“Do it for me” Ellie begged. She brought a hand up to cup at her perky clothed breast. She imagined it was you, your tits between her fingers. She wanted to squeeze the fat, take it in, spit on it, latch her mouth onto your nipples, slap them as you ride her thigh, or her face, or her whatever the fuck you wanted.

The saliva ran down your chest, droplets flowing at an incredibly slow pace, each and every one of them teasing Ellie, mocking her. Almost there, almost reaching your sensitive nipples. When it finally did, Ellie was breathing so heavy she almost wheezed.

You rubbed the spit all over your tits, glazing your nipples with the liquid, coating them shiny with your saliva - all for her. You were staring at ellie with your mouth open. You moaned at the sensation, making Ellie shift and slightly slide off the wall. She was gone.

“Feels so good” you whined.

“Fucking shit” She huffed. She bucked her hips, searching for that friction. She didn’t do it yet, but oh she will.

“Mhhm” you hummed, a high pitched moan escaping your lips.

Ellie almost went cross eyed.

“Need you, please” You whispered while massaging your breasts. You were squeezing the fat harshly, almost punishing yourself for being such a dirty, desperate girl.

“Show me” She begged, in between breaths.

“Show me how bad - shit”

You cupped your cunt, your hand feeling warm over it. Your clit twitched. Ellie let out a moan so deep, you almost came right then and there, all over your panties.

You circled your clit through your pants, teasing Ellie without even realizing. I can do it, and you can’t! It felt like you were mocking her.

“Take that shit off — fuck” she huffed. Her hand was resting on her thigh, pinching it. Stay down. Don’t crawl, don’t fuck, don’t cheat.

In a matter of six seconds, your pants were on the floor. You crossed your legs together in embarrassment. What if she saw how wet you were?

“Spread” She commanded.

You looked at her stupidity.

“Spread ‘em, please” Ellie begged.

You spread your legs slowly, revealing your soaked white cotton panties to Ellie. Her eyes rolled back at the sight.

“Fucking shit” she grunted.

Her hand met her own cunt and gave it a stinging slap, followed by a desperate grunt. She moved her veiny hand up and down, almost grabbing her pussy. She felt perverted, and sickly, and so, so good. The friction of her hand on her cunt was followed by a string of deep moans, chanting your name like a prayer. She didn’t even know how bad she needed it.

“Wider” She commanded.

You spread your legs so wide your thighs almost hurt. When Ellie saw that wet spot, she lost it.

“So wet” she whispered in disbelief.

“Show me that pussy” She whimpered.

“Show me that fucking pussy”

You moved your panties to the side, the cold air hitting your clit making you flinch. You swore you could cum just from clenching in and out, listening to the obscenities leaving her mouth.

“Holy shit” She moaned, and cupped her cunt forcefully.

“So pretty” she whispered. It was even prettier than she thought, glistening folds and a little puffy button poking out. She needed to see inside, everywhere.

“Spread it with your fingers” She grunted. You parted your lips with your pointer finger and your thumb, wide open for her. She saw how bad you were clenching, begging for something inside. Your puffy clit moved with every pull.

“Wanna fuck you so bad” she groaned, it was killing her.

“Need to see you Ellie, please, please” you begged.

With that whine leaving your mouth, Ellie unzipped her jeans, and pulled down her boxers slowly, revealing you of the most beautiful sight youve ever seen in your life.

Her thighs were creamy, a mound of soft, dark hair adorning her pubis. Her slick was shining on her milky inner thighs from the boxer briefs she took off slightly brushing on them. She was so wet, it almost glistened like a far away star, deep in the galaxy. Her mouth was parted and she looked famished.

Tiny droplets of sweat were shining on her forehead, making her hair stick to her face. She was a panting, desperate mess.

You couldn’t help but slide your hand up your thigh, and started running your fingers through your glistening folds. Finally. “Oh god, Ellie” you moaned. You wished those were her fingers, if you could, if you only could.

Ellie moaned like a porn star at the sight. You thought she might tease herself, might play with her cunt before doing something. She proved you wrong.

She slid two long fingers inside her aching hole, squelching sounds filling the air. She pumped them in and out, fucking herself like a madwoman. Her hungry eyes were fixated on your fingers caressing your needy cunt. Her mouth was watering, borderline drooling, soft “ah!”s escaping her lips.

You circled your clit slowly, and felt your lower stomach leap at the contact. You lapped your slick with your middle finger, and sucked on it. It was obscene. Ellie’s cunt twitched. She almost came.

“Good girl” She groaned at the sight.

“Faster” She commanded, a deep moan escaping her lips.

You fastened your pace, and she was looking you directly in the eyes while pumping her fingers inside her cunt. With every pump, you could see a milky cream coating her fingers, the sight alone made your puffy clit ache with pleasure.

It was so wrong, and obscene, and pathetic, and you almost came.

“Fucking shit — fuck yourself, show me, fuck yourself” She whimpered, fastening her pace as well. The moans that left her mouth were deep, bursting from the inside of her soul.

Her fucking ex best friend.

“E — Ellie m’close” you whined, inserting a finger inside your soaking hole.

“Can see how fucking tight you are - fuck”

“Faster, do it f’me baby faster” She groaned.

The harmony of your moans intertwined, creating an intoxicating symphony.

“Ellie — gonna cum, fuck” You babbled, drool running down your chin. You were so close, eyes rolling to the back of your Ellie filled brain.

“Please fuck me, please fuck me”

“Cu — Fuck, shit, m’cuming” Ellie grunted.

“Say my fucking name” She demanded, her words coming out so sloppy and ridiculous.

“Ellie — Ellie! Please!”

Ellie almost screamed. She wanted to tell you to come for her, wanted to hear the noises youd make, see your face twist and the screams of her name, but she couldn’t help herself, the sight of your desperate cunt and the look on your face, so stupid, so cumdrunk, so pathetic, begging her to fuck you - brought her to the edge. It errupted inside of her like a volcano, pumping and squeezing on her fingers. She rode her orgasm until it tickled and hurt.

When you came, Ellie almost shed a tear.

This wasn’t just wrong.

This was vile.

She pulled up her pants up and left without saying a word, too embarrassed to look you in the face.

When she got home, Cat was sound asleep on her bed. She gave her a delicate kiss on the cheek, and whispered;

“I’m so sorry”

[findmeintheferns]

your bestfriend’s roommate

(part two)

𝓢𝓾𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓻𝔂: you ignore your new dealer for a week, guilty about giving in to the way she made you feel. However, when your boyfriend betrays your trust, you find yourself running right back to her.

𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰: dealer ellie/reader, smut, alcohol use, angst, not proof-read (yet), sorry it took so long lmao

𝓦𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓽: 2.3k

𝓟𝓪𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰: ellie williams (TLOU) x reader

———

“You’re pathetic.” You huff, frowning at your reflection staring back at you in the mirror. It was 11:30pm on a Tuesday and you were drinking alone in your dorm. Today had sucked, well, technically yesterday. You hadn’t been feeling great in general, it had been a week since the incident with Ellie and you were trying to ignore the guilt that wouldn’t go away. She texted you a few times, but you didn’t reply, you didn’t even tell Dina what happened. Then on top of that, you failed an exam that was worth 50% of your final grade and spilt your iced coffee all down your favourite white dress (in front of a huge line of people waiting for their Starbucks). That wasn’t it though, no the real cherry on top was what happened once you got back to your room.

“Did you know that jellyfish are 95% water?” Dina stares at you, awaiting your response to her very important question. She was walking you back to your dorm in hopes that you would feel slightly less embarrassed about wearing a now brown & patchy dress.

“I was unaware” you reply, still facing the ground and kicking the occasional pebble.

“They don’t have a brain, or lungs, or a heart. They are literally blobs of fluid & muscle how fucking weird is that” she explains, clearly very worked up by this discovery.

“Thank you for this information Dina, I am now deeply disturbed”.

She giggles at your response and grabs your face so that her palms are squishing your cheeks, forcing you to be staring directly into her eyes.

“C’mon grumpy pants! It was one bad day and it’s nearly over; it can’t get much worse than this. If anyone can get through it, it’s you.”

You roll your eyes at her, but she knows deep down you’re grateful to have her as a friend. You could always count on her to cheer you up. You grab your keys and fumble to unlock the door, turning to Dina at the same time,

“We’re at my dorm which means we are binge watching the entire Twilight saga tonight.”

“Whatever will make you happy” she laughs, but it’s cut short by a loud gasp as soon as you finally open the door.

“What the actual fuck?!” you yell, unable to believe what’s happening right in front of you. Your boyfriend, completely naked, fucking the girl he told you not to worry about countless times, in your own goddamn room. Is this karma? It must be, although you stopped things with Ellie before it went this far.

“Get out. Oh my god, get fucking out! We are done Alex. So fucking done!!” you scream, most definitely causing a scene because you can hear the crowd of people gathering behind you desperately trying to figure out what had happened.

“Wait- no, y/n please I can explain-”

“You heard her. Get out.” Dina doesn’t let him finish his sentence, which is good because if you had to open your mouth again you would most likely just break down crying.

You were honestly surprised by how upset you were. You had been contemplating breaking up with him all week anyway. After that night with Ellie, you felt things Alex hadn’t made you feel your whole relationship, so that was a definitely a sign. At the end of the day though, you trusted him, this was betrayal you would never get over, which meant losing a friend.

So, yeah, a shitty day was an understatement. You asked Dina to leave right after it happened, you just wanted to be alone, but now that’s the last thing you want. You were done wallowing in self-pity, and you knew exactly where you were going to go. You didn’t text, you just stormed right out of your dorm and made your way down the hall. Dina was staying at Jesse’s tonight, so you didn’t have to worry about her. You do wish however that you had thought about the temperature before leaving your heated dorm. You were only wearing a little pair of pyjama shorts & a cropped tank top but fuck it, the bottle of straight vodka in your hand would warm you up soon enough. It didn’t take long to arrive at Ellie’s, you couldn’t help but feel a little nervous as you raised your hand to knock on the door. You knocked three times, but no answer. It took a solid 5 times before you heard an angry,

“What do you fucking want?”, which made you think maybe you should leave, but before you could she was standing right in front of you. Her face softened instantly, clearly not expecting it to be you at the door.

“Oh, y/n. Shit, sorry, didn’t mean to yell at you.” You watch as she takes in your appearance, her expression changing to what seemed to be concern. She saw the bottle, the lack of clothing and the tear-stained mascara trail that you had forgotten to remove from your cheeks.

“Hey, you okay?” she coos, moving closer to you. You honestly didn’t know how to reply because no, you weren’t okay, but you didn’t really feel like talking about it.

“Can I please just come in?” you sigh.

“Yeah of course, here” she moves towards you, pulling off her baggy sweater, “Arms up.”

You don’t want her to be cold, but you’re freezing and tired so you’re not really in a place to argue. You lift your arms up and she places the sweater on you, it smells exactly like her. Putting her hand on your waist she guides you inside to sit on her bed. You take a big gulp of your vodka, grimacing at the taste but kind of enjoying the burn.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” you ask.

By the look on her face, you could tell she wanted to grab that bottle right out of your hand and pour it down the sink, she just didn’t feel comfortable enough to yet.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” she replies.

You take another swig from the bottle, “because,” you frown “because I’ve seen you around school. I’ve seen you with other people. You’re not soft like this, you don’t take other people’s shit. You always look so tough. Plus, I’ve completely ghosted you this week.”

She moves closer to you, gently removing the bottle from your hand.

“Y/n,” She whispers, moving your hair behind your ear so it could no longer cover your face “What happened?”

You couldn’t help but fall into her touch, she was being so tender with you, which is all you could ask for right now.

“T’s so stupid I shouldn’t even care” you sob, burying your face into your hands.

“I won’t think its stupid, I promise.” She reassures.

You look up at her, she does look genuinely worried for someone who should hate you.

“I walked in on Alex, he was having sex with that girl I told you about, his best friend. On top of that it was in my bed too ugh, yuck.” You groan.

Ellie jumps up so quickly you barely notice it happen, “I’ll kill him.” She spits, gritting her teeth.

You laugh, “I wouldn’t object, but you forget I did basically the same thing first.”

Ellie didn’t find that statement very funny “I didn’t even fuck you!” She exclaims, “I mean, sorry, we didn’t take things that far. What a piece of shit. I’m sorry y/n.” She calms down and sits back beside you, clearly regretting her previous wording.

You couldn’t hide it anymore, you were drunk. I mean, it’s not like you were known for holding your alcohol well, but this was pretty bad even for you. You adjust so that you’re facing her, legs crossed.

“The thing is, I was going to break up with him anyway, I thought what I felt for him was normal, but maybe I never really did love him as more than a friend. It hurts more that I’ve lost someone I trusted.” You sigh.

Ellie looks at you, sort of puzzled.

“What I’m trying to say is,” you move your face closer to hers “You’ve made me feel things I didn’t think I could feel, things he never made me feel, in such a short time too. I want to know you, Ellie. I can’t stop thinking about you, no matter how hard I try.”

You didn’t have to say anything else because Ellie closed the gap between the two of you, placing her lips softly on yours. She moved her hand around your waist, pulling you onto her lap. You cupped her cheeks, wanting to be as close to her as possible. She was a really good kisser, much better than Alex ever had been. You tried to fasten the pace, but she continued to be delicate, gently stroking your thigh and making your stomach fill with butterflies. You pull away, admiring her features, “I need you, I want you to touch every part of me.”

“I know, and I will, but not right now. It wouldn’t be right, you’re drunk, remember?" She smiled.

As much as you wanted her, you couldn’t help but agree. The second you stopped distracting yourself with her touch you could feel how drowsy you were becoming. Ellie laughed at your sleepy expression, “Sleep here, that way you won’t have to deal with the gross memories back in your dorm.”

You don’t have the energy to do anything other than nod. She lifts you off her lap and lays down, gesturing for you to come lay on her chest. You wonder if she had every been this vulnerable and gentle with someone before. She pulls her blanket over the top of both of you and before you know it, you’re fast asleep with her arms wrapped around you, making you feel incredibly safe.

When you wake up the room is pitch black, it must be early in the morning. It takes you a moment to remember where you are, but the calloused fingers wrapped around your waist remind you. Ellie was still spooning you, her face nestled into your neck. You wished she was awake, because you’re not feeling so tired anymore. You push yourself back, pressing your ass against her. She was fast asleep, so you didn’t expect a reaction, but suddenly Ellie was gripping you tighter and grinding herself against you. This just turned you on more then you already were. You continued to grind, quickening the pace until you heard a low “fuck” slip out of Ellie’s mouth.

“You’re awake?” you ask quietly.

“Mhmm” she responds, still sleepy “How are you feeling?

Horny, you thought. Obviously, you weren’t about to say that out loud.

“Sober” you reply.

“Wonderful, that means I can do this.” Ellie rolls over so that she’s now on top of you, kissing your neck. She moves her way up so that your lips are connected. This kiss however was not like the one before, no this was much different. It was rougher, more desperate, like she had grown tired of restraining herself all night. You let out a moan as she sucks on your bottom lip, causing her to press her thigh between your legs.

“Can I fuck you?” she whispers softly into your ear.

“Please” you groan instantaneously.

Once Ellie knew it was okay, she helped you sit up, basically ripping off your tank top and shorts. You wanted her undressed too. You quickly pulled her shirt over her shoulders before she pressed you back down onto the bed. Ellie slipped her hand inside your panties, touching you in all the right places.

“So fucking wet for me.” She groaned, “This okay?”

You nod, eyes rolling to the back of your head. You have no idea what Alex was doing wrong because it had never felt this good before. She teases you, slowly pushing her fingers inside you but taking them out as soon as they filled you up. You push yourself down onto her fingers, whining, in hopes that she’ll fuck you, but she continues to tease.

“Poor princess, so desperate for me huh?” she smirks, “Don’t worry, I’ve got you. Gonna make you feel so good okay?”

She presses herself inside you again, but this time she stays there. She’s doing something with her fingers, you have no idea what it is, just that it feels fucking good. You kiss at her neck while she continues pushing herself deep inside you, dragging your nails down her back causing her to let out a loud groan. Ellie can’t take her eyes off you, seeing you so vulnerable, knowing she’s probably the only person who has made you feel this good.

“So pretty when I fuck you.” She mumbles, slightly out of breath.

You’re so close to falling over the edge, which quite frankly surprises you, because no one has ever made you cum before. You didn’t tell Ellie this though, you knew how cocky she would get, she’d never let it go. She pulls herself out from inside you and begins to quickly rub her fingers against your clit.

“I’m so close. Fuck.” You moan, drunk on how good she feels.

She leans down and whispers into your ear, “Good girl, cum for me. Just like that.”

This sends you over the edge and you cum harder than you’ve ever been able to make yourself. You bury yourself in Ellie’s neck, already sleepy again.

“I didn’t know it could feel like that” you whisper. Ellie just laughs, gesturing for you to roll over. She plays with your hair and kisses your back, it feels so heavenly that it isn’t long before you’re already asleep again, smiling to yourself.

[findmeintheferns]

your bestfriend’s roommate

(part one)

𝓢𝓾𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓻𝔂: you’ve had the same plug for years, but he wasn’t replying & you were desperate. your bestfriend had been wanting you to switch to her roommate for ages so fuck it. problem is though, you weren’t expecting her to be this attractive…

𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰: a lil bit of smut, drug use (weed), slowish burn, kinda boring sorry lol writers block

𝓦𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓽: 2.2 k

𝓟𝓪𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰: dealer ellie williams (TLOU) x reader (y/n)

You stare down at your phone for the 100th time only to once again get met with a blank screen. It had been 5 whole hours yet still nothing. You tried not to let it bother you but at this point you were well and truly feeling impatient. You groan, flipping the phone over so you can no longer fixate on it.

Dina notices your frustration, “I’ve told you so many times that my friend is a way better plug, she replies almost instantly. Plus, she’s in my dorm, you can visit me & stock up at the same time.”

You’ve heard this spiel before, but you weren’t sold on it. You liked having a dealer that was strictly business, you’ve never been one to want to stay and chat, you just want to get your weed so you can go home & get high as soon as possible. Plus, you’ve had the same dealer for over 2 years now, going to someone else would be like a betrayal.

You go to reply but Dina beats you to it,

“Yeah, yeah I know. You guys have an unbreakable bond or whatever.”

You give her a small smile, “I mean hey if he doesn’t reply in the next hour, I might get desperate. I told Alex we could smoke & get ice-cream tonight.”

Dina lets out a snort, “Oof yeah, you’ll definitely be needing the weed if you’re spending the night hanging out with him.”

You roll your eyes, not wanting to reply to her snarky comment. You had nearly been dating for nearly a year, but she still hated him. She never really liked him in the first place, she says ‘his vibe is off’, whatever that means. After a little incident with his best friend Mia however, her dislike turned to hatred. Nothing bad even happened, you overreacted. They hung out, you weren’t aware, and you walked in on them hugging. You got upset at first yeah, but he reassured you that it meant nothing, that she was having a bad day and it was just a simple hug. You believe him, so that’s that.

Dina grabs your phone from off the table, distracting you from your thoughts.

“Just let me put her number in your contacts in case okay? Her name’s Ellie.”

“Fineeeee. I need to go anyway. If I don’t study for this exam I’m screwed, I slept through like half of the lectures.” You sigh, stressed about all the content you have to somehow remember over the span of a few days.

Dina pulls you into a hug, “You’re terrible. Good luck with that, I love you dumbass.”

You pull away and laugh at your brutally honest friend as she begins to walk away, “Yeah, yeah, I love you too I guess.”

You grab your bag, placing a tip under your now empty coffee cup before leaving the little café.

You stare at the clock, it’s an hour before you’re meant to meet Alex and your dealer still hasn’t replied.

“Ughhhhhhh. Whatever. Fine. Fuck it.” you murmur, pulling out your phone.

You really didn’t feel like texting a new dealer, you’re pretty introverted already and it seemed like a lot of effort. But what were you supposed to do.

You unlock your phone and open contacts, Ellie’s profile popping up straight away. You send a short text, introducing yourself as Dina’s friend and asking if she had anything to sell tonight, you weren’t in a place to be picky.

To your surprise it was only 5 minutes before you received a reply. Her response was short too;

-

ellie: yeah, i’ve got a bunch. do you want to come here & pick up? that way you can decide what you want

y/n: oh okay, sure. what time?

ellie: now?

y/n: okay. see u in 5.

ellie: you know where to find me

-

You did appreciate that she didn’t drag out the conversation, but you were still nervous about meeting someone new. Dina’s dorm room is only a short walk from yours which you couldn’t lie, was pretty convenient if Ellie did become your new dealer. Once you arrive at the door you stop for a moment and take a deep breath in, hoping the conversation would be as short as it always was with your normal dealer. If only Dina was here to make things less awkward, but she had volleyball on tonight.

You knock and the door opens instantly. Suddenly your whole body completely stiffens as your eyes meet the girl opening the door. You know you should be speaking right now, but you’re weren’t mentally prepared for this. She looked absolutely nothing like you had imagined. You don’t know why but you kinda assumed she’d be on the gross & dodgy side. She was in fact the complete opposite. She was wearing baggy grey sweatpants and a tank top that hugged her body. Her short brown hair was half tied up in a little knot, her fringe falling over her face. She must of been getting ready for bed. You really wish Dina had gone into more detail when describing her, you weren’t prepared for her to be this…well, attractive, for lack of better words.

“Y/n? You here to pick up yeah?” Ellie’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts.

“Hey, yeah, sorry. Yes I am” you quickly respond, kinda embarrassed about the pause.

“All good, come in and I’ll get you what you need. Sorry about the mess.”

You walk inside the dorm, you had been in there before obviously, but not while Ellie was there. You never even really payed attention to her side of the room yet now you can’t take your eyes off it.

“So, what are you after? I’ll see if I have some.” Ellie asks

“Honestly I don’t mind. Whatever’s your favourite at the moment”

You don’t want to drag this out, you need to head to Alex’s soon and you already feel awkward from the previous interaction.

“Hmmm. Probably blue dream then, it’s mostly Sativa. Really helps with relaxing.���

You shrug “I trust you.”

She puts your weed into a small ziplock baggie and you pay. You quickly try and say goodbye as you walk towards the door but she stops you

“Yeah you’re gonna have to stay at least for a little longer.”

Confused, you stare at her blankly, “Umm, why?”

She returns your glare, “Have you never picked up before or something?”

This kinda offends you and you don’t really know why.

“Yes I have. For your information my dealer just isn’t responding tonight. This is a one off.”

Ellie scoffs, “Huh, lemme guess. Derek is your dealer?”

This takes you back for a moment,

“Yeah… how do you know that?”

She laughs, relaxing her stance and moving to lean back onto her bed.

“Makes sense why you don’t know pick up etiquette. You need to stay here for a little so it doesn’t look sus. Otherwise cops will catch on, just like with your friend Derek. He was lazy and now he’s screwed. You definitely won’t be hearing from him for a while.”

Great. Well that makes sense why he wasn’t responding. You sigh and flop down onto Dina’s bed, staring up at the roof. You really don’t feel like staying here for any longer.

“Aww, am I that terrible to hang out with?”

You roll your head to stare at her, but she’s already looking at you. You wonder what she’s thinking.

“It’s not that” You lie, because it kinda is. “I’m just meant to be meeting up with Alex right now”

She laughs to herself again, “Oh that’s right, Alex, your boyfriend.”

“What’s funny about that? How do you even know that?” you retort, pissed off at this point.

“No, no, nothing. Dina told me is all.” She smiles

You sit up, ready to leave, “Right, well, I need to go. Thanks for the weed.”

You move towards the door but once again Ellie stops you before you can open it.

“Hey, I’m sorry” She says softly “I didn’t meant to upset you, stay a little longer and have a joint.”

The way she’s looking at you makes your stomach churn, but not in a bad way. There’s something so endearing about her, even when she’s pissing you off.

“I really should go, I’ll be late” You respond, trying to not be tempted by the offer.

“It’s on me, just because I annoyed you” she smirks.

You know you should decline, but it’s a lot harder than it would seem.

“Fine. One joint”

So, you didn’t just have one joint, you both shared quite a few. You weren’t sure if it was just the weed that made being around Ellie more manageable, but you were actually having fun. You unintentionally lost track of time, talking about anything and everything. Ellie told you all about her Astronomy major and her favourite astronaut, Sally Ride. You told her about how much you hated math and your inability to focus during lectures. You had moved closer together so that you were both laying down, squished on the same bed staring at the roof. Ellie turned her head to face yours,

“You look pretty stoned” she whispered, a big grin on her face.

She was so close to you it made you nervous, but also kinda excited. She looked incredibly attractive, you kept trying to deny it, but you couldn’t help it. The way she held herself, the way she spoke, her looks, all of it was pulling you in even though you knew it shouldn’t.

You giggled, wanting to reply with a snarky comment but being too high to think of one. You went to take the joint from her, but got distracted by the tattoo on her arm. It was pretty big, it was some sort of moth and a fern. You followed it down until it ended, stopping at her hand. You intertwined your fingers with hers, lifting it up so you could get a better look.

“What?” she laughed, confused as to what you were trying to do.

You didn’t think, you just spoke, “You have really attractive hands Ellie”

For a moment she looked taken back by your comment, but she was too high too overthink it. She moved so that her body was on top of yours, your hands still connected. You felt yourself getting wet, too horny to think about the consequences of what was happening right now. She grinded her thigh into your pussy causing your eyes to roll back as you let out a soft moan. She leaned down and pushed your hair behind your ear.

“Oh yeah?” she whispered, replying to your previous statement “You should see what they can d-“

Ellie was cut off by the sound of ringing. Fuck. You jerk up, grabbing your phone. Surely enough, it was Alex calling. What had you done.

“Fuck, fuck-fuck-fuck” you mumble under your breath, picking up the phone call.

-

Alex: “Y/n? You okay?”

Y/n: “Alex I’m so sorry I was studying and I must have fallen asleep.”

Alex: “Ah, no weed then?”

Y/n: “No weed, I’m sorry. Rain check?”

Alex: “All good, love you.”

Y/n: “Love you.”

-

You felt incredibly guilty, probably the most guilty you’ve ever felt in your life. How could you lose track of time like that? How could you act on impulse like that?

Ellie broke you out of your train of thought “Shit. I don’t even know how that happened. Y/n? Are you okay? Fuck I’m sorry.”

You knew you had to leave before you made an even more regrettable decision. Quickly grabbing your stuff you began to walk to the door,

“All good. I need to go. Thanks, erm, for the weed”

Ellie tries to say something else but it’s too late, you are out of the dorm in no time, almost sprinting back to your room.

That night you got barely any sleep, mad at yourself for taking things so far. You knew it was wrong, so why did you feel yourself wanting more.

[findmeintheferns]

sweet dreams

fuck me like you missed me then

𝓢𝓾𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓻𝔂: y/n can’t sleep, how could she? she had gotten so used to ellie fcking her every night before bed. since ellie and cat were back together they can’t anymore. uno because that would be wrong, right? right???

𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰: angst, smut (oral sex, fingering), apologies if there is typos i got sick of rereading this lol

𝓦𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓽: 1.5k

𝓟𝓪𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰: ellie williams (TLOU) x reader

————

You had tried everything, you mediated, downed 2 cups of chamomile tea, took a warm shower, read. Hell, you even counted sheep for a solid 15 minutes to no avail. You just could not sleep. Usually you wouldn’t really care that much, you enjoyed your quiet time and would spent the night finishing a book or watching whatever movie you could scavenge from crumbling houses. Nighttime was really the only time you could be alone. However tomorrow you had patrol at 5am and you didn’t really love the idea of no sleep before that. You stared at the clock as the hand crept closer and closer to the early hours of the morning.

“That’s it. Fuck it.” you groaned in frustration, pushing yourself off your couch and marching towards the door. You knew deep down this wasn’t a great idea, but you were desperate. It was freezing outside, you didn’t even bother to put on a jacket before making your way to Ellie’s. You see, the past few months between you and her had been kinda awkward. You were best friends since Ellie and Joel had returned from Salt Lake City. You met her during a rough time, and you bonded over that. She was the first person you ever did a patrol with, you know, without a group. You always knew there was something more there, you just didn’t act on it. However when Ellie and Cat went on their first ‘break’ you slipped up. The two of you had been drinking alone in her room, she couldn’t stop complaining about her ex and you were getting fed up of hearing about it. You didn’t like Cat in the first place, and the idea of making her jealous lit a fire in you, one didn’t know was there before. Ellie was mid sentence, saying something along the lines of, “And you know what fucking gets me? She says that I should cut YOU out of my life because you secretly want me blah blah blah yet she’s always with stupid Bailey, the one person I know for a fact wants to fuc-“ you cut her off, pressing your lips against hers and making her shut up. She pulled away, looking kinda shocked. That shock however didn’t last long because about 2 seconds later she was pulling you into her lap by your tank top and roughly kissing you back. After that incident you continued to fuck for a few weeks, spending almost every night in her bed or her in yours. The problem was you didn’t talk about it, probably because you knew it was wrong. You’d simply wait for one another the second it got dark out to show up at the door and then spend a solid chunk of the night having the best sex of your life. This was up until a week ago, which is when you noticed Cat desperately trying to fix things with Ellie.

“Wait- y/n, don’t go. I don’t understand?” Ellie quickly followed after you as you made your way to the door.

“Cat wants you back Ellie, come on we can’t keep doing this.” You grab the door handle but Ellie’s hand grabs yours, stopping you from being able to twist it. You make eye contact with her and sigh.

“Why does it matter if she wants me back?” she asks, confused.

You push her hand off yours, aggressively opening the door.

“You clearly want her too, you shouldn’t ruin your chances by continuing something that’s purely just sex.”

You don’t give her a chance to reply, you don’t even look at her face, scared that her expression will convince you she’s feeling something she’s not. You didn’t have the balls to tell her how you actually felt, like how you wish you were hers instead of Cat, or how you were scared to take it any further because you couldn’t risk losing her as a friend. From then on you had barely been talking, she seemed kinda pissed off at you actually. Plus her and Cat were back together, so yeah, you knew it was the wrong thing to do, but you no longer gave a fuck. You reach her door and gently knock three times, wondering if she’ll even be awake to hear it. Suddenly a sleepy, groggy Ellie opens the door, looking puzzled.

“Y/n? Is everything okay?” she mumbled staring at you with confusion. You don’t waste anytime making your way into her room and slamming the door shut.

“Y/n I don’t understa-“ You cut her off again, grabbing her face and pressing her lips to yours. You expect her to get angry at you but instead she returns the kiss even more rough then you were. Before you know it she has pushed you onto the bed, her lean but muscular body on top of yours. You moan at the sight of her, she’s wearing a singlet with with no bra, so you can see how hard her nipples are already. Her hair is a little messy, probably from sleep, but still looks good somehow. She practically tears your shirt off you and moves her kisses from your lips down your neck and to your breasts. You gasp at the feeling of her lips on your chest as she intently sucks your nipples, making your whole body tingle. You pull on her hair and she lets out a moan, moving back to your lips. You’ve made out for too long, you need more, you grind against her leg and she retaliates, pressing her thigh into your clit. You grab her singlet and pull it off without hesitating. You begin unbuttoning her pants however you’re interrupted by her raspy voice.

“Wait, wait, wait, Y/n. Are we really doing this?” she says, clearly out of breath.

“I mean, only if you want to” you shrug

“I want to. I really want to. But i’m confused, you told me to get back with Cat? You made it clear that what we had was just sex, are you just really horny because if that’s the cas-“

You press you finger to her lips.

“Ellie, come on did you really think this was just sex to me? I hate Cat, I envy her. I’ve wanted you since we were 15 but I couldn’t risk losing you. I just can’t pretend anymore.”

You watch Ellie’s face carefully, scared that what she’ll say next will cause you two to never speak again. Instead she softly rubs her fingers on against your cheek.

“I really wish you told me earlier, we wasted so much time. I missed you this last week, a lot.” she sighs.

You are so relieved you could actually cry, but now is not the time for that.

“Fuck me like you missed me then.” you don’t have time to say anything else, because the second you finished your sentence Ellie has lifted you up and roughly placed you on top of her hips so that you are straddling her as she lays down. Your lips reconnect and you grind down hard.

“I need you” you moan, drunk on the how good this feels.

“I’ve got you baby” she replies, flipping you over and pulling your pants down quicker than you thought was humanly possible. She unbuttons her pants so you are both naked, your pussy pulsing from the sight.

“So wet for me huh baby?” she hums, causing you to groan.

Wasting no time she presses her mouth against your clit, moaning at your reaction to her tongue. It isn’t long before you feel your stomach begin to grow warm, you’re not going to last long. You grab her hand that is tightly gripped against your thigh. She always does this so she can hold you in place while she licks and sucks in the perfect rhythm. You push her hand further down and she knows exactly what you want. She presses her fingers inside you and you throw your head against the pillow, making the headboard loudly hit the wall. She continues to finger you while using her magic mouth on your clit as you feel yourself begin to come undone. It makes you so fucking wet how much she loves eating your pussy.

“F-fuck, FUCK, Ellie i’m so close. I’m so so fucking close ughh” you moan worryingly loud but oh well, you couldn’t care less in this moment. Ellie moans into your pussy and you’re thrown over the edge, cumming arguably harder than you’ve ever cum in your life. Ellie rolls over, laying next to you, as you both try and catch your breath.

“Fuck.” You groan, thinking about how good she makes you feel. You roll over and look at her, sweaty and breathless.

“You okay?” you ask “You seem kinda out of breath.” She turns to look at you, her cheeks bright pink.

“I-I um, sorta”

“Spit it out Ellie” you say impatiently, worried something is wrong.

“Shut up” she retaliates “I came. When I was eating you out idk how but I finished”

You giggle, moving so that you are now on top of her.

“Naw don’t be embarrassed Els, wanna cum again?” you whisper in her ear causing her to groan,

“You know I fucking do”.