fllawllessness-blog
fllawllessness-blog
precious seconds
93 posts
people live to save themselves
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fllawllessness-blog · 6 years ago
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Hey everybody!  I’m on a mini hiatus for a week and a half.  Work has been busy and I have a vital role in a role play group I’m in on discord.  I’ll be back when I can!
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fllawllessness-blog · 6 years ago
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I have the day off due to illness.  I’ll be spending my time relaxing, writing replies, and working on three new AU(s) I want to put on this blog.  One of them is horror, one of them is pure, and the other one is emo.  The three moods for this blog, really.
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fllawllessness-blog · 6 years ago
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underrated scenes of dead apple include: chuuya calling oda a scrub and driving by on a motorcycle really really fast as said scrub saves a child.
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fllawllessness-blog · 6 years ago
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fllawllessness-blog · 6 years ago
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I am a living graveyard for all the people I have left behind, for each and every person I have ever been. I know the reaper like the back of my palm, but I still do not know who I really am.
Lukas W. // Living graveyeard (via somepiecesofmyheartandsoul)
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fllawllessness-blog · 6 years ago
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——— character question sheet
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▌real name: Oda Sakunosuke. ▌ single or taken: Single. ▌abilities or powers: Flawless, an ability that allows him to see 5-6 seconds into the future. ▌eye colour: Blue. ▌hair colour: Dark red (anime) / Faded orange (novel) ▌family members: Kousuke, Katsumi, Yuu, Shinji, and Sakura are the five orphans he looked after post-Dragon’s Head Conflict.  There are ten other orphans he takes care of in the Beast novel as well. ▌pets: None. ▌something they don’t like: Killing, fancy meals. ▌hobbies/activities: Writing, Playing with the orphans ▌ever hurt anyone before: Yes. ▌ever killed anyone before: Yes. ▌animal that represents them: Dog. ▌worst habits: Drinking too much, Smokes cigarettes ▌role models: Natsume Soseki. ▌sexual orientation: Demisexual. ▌thoughts on marriage/kids: Already a parent.  Wants to take care of more orphans and would like to get married at some point. ▌fears: Never being able to write/continuing to be a killer, Not being able to protect the orphans ▌style preferences: Black button-up shirts (sometimes w/ stripes) beneath long tan coats.  Dark gray slacks.  Brown slip-on shoes. ▌someone they love: Sakura, one of the orphans. ▌approach to friendships: Oda does not use the word “friend” lightly.  Sees Dazai and Ango as his friends even though the terms to label their dynamic was canonically up in the air for a long stretch of time during Dark Era despite their bond obviously being friendship. ▌thoughts on pie: Would like it.  Though, he does not have a sweet tooth.  Oda canonically prefers spicy food such as spicy curry. ▌favourite drink: Whiskey. ▌favourite place to spend time at: By the sea. ▌swim in the lake or in the ocean: Ocean. ▌their type: In the second season guidebook, it says that Oda’s type is tactful women. ▌camping or indoors: Indoors.
tagged: @florabled (Thank you!)
tagging: @lunartxger, @live-let-live, @pursuingideals
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fllawllessness-blog · 6 years ago
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live-let-live·:
( @fllawllessness· liked for a lyric starter )
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“Now the rains weep o’er his hall, with not a soul to hear.”      
( Rains of Castamere - The Nationals )
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“That sounds lonely.”
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fllawllessness-blog · 6 years ago
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              fated to madness…
                                                                                                            …it’s out of your hands.
                                             indie.  selective.  penned by west.
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fllawllessness-blog · 6 years ago
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This is more of a self-indulgent headcanon rather than one that’s based off of canon or trivia.  I think if Oda ever got married, he would take his partner’s last name as his own.  After Oda took in the orphans, he grew to wanting a family and a closeness with others.  Going from his current last name to his partner’s would be a way of abandoning a piece of his former life and the dark existence he used to lead and donning himself with the last name of the love of his new life.  It’s symbolic.  Oda is not a very deep person by any means but the feelings he has grown for other people are.
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fllawllessness-blog · 6 years ago
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radiancebled·:
@fllawllessness | ❤️
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     ❝ How long have you been writing? If I didn’t know any better, I would say you’ve been writing for such a long time~ ❞ she didn’t have much experience when it came to writing ( whether it be short stories or otherwise ), but she did enjoy what her new companion wrote.  it was fascinating just how different each person’s style of conveying infinite galaxies of stories were. everything had their own design after all.
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“That’s a big compliment coming from you.  I don’t remember how long it’s been.”  For Oda, time passed in the blink of an eye  The young detective’s ability kept him ever distant from the present.  His heart, his eyes, mind, pen, and soul only moved for the future. And though his life as a writer offered many twists and turns that he could bring a story to, Oda’s interests lied in the makings of one Zelda Fitzgerald.  Many literary critics have often voiced a need for the death of an author.  But the divide between the writer and the works never swayed Oda away from curiously wondering about the artists who managed to put themselves out there.  All of her writing seemed so personal.  And America always seemed so...  Taxing.  Stifling.  Suffocating, even.  The art of living just for the moment never suited a man like him. 
“I should be asking you the same question, right?  You have already made a name for yourself.”
As his mumbled words faded out amidst the bustle of a stuffy cafe, his copy of Save Me the Waltz was placed on the table between them.  His favorite writing pen fell to the cover; a silent request for the writer to don her hard work with a signature.
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fllawllessness-blog · 6 years ago
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youtube
oh you know
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fllawllessness-blog · 6 years ago
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guiltscorched·:
          ahhhh, he regrets the words the instant they’ve spilled. too late to clean them up now! it’s distinctly un-dazai-like to go rifling for love and affection in his friend’s demeanor, and even less so to fish for it in such a terribly obvious way. ( perhaps he’s feeling lonely. perhaps it’s the blood crusted under his nails, a blunt reminder of the lives he took today and the lives he’ll take tomorrow and the utter improbability of a man as good as odasaku finding anything worth loving in such a deplorable person. ) 
“i’m quite certain!” he professes anyway, melancholy gaze replaced oh-so-easily by that smiling mask he dons. while oda proceeds with caution down the alleyway ( watching dazai’s back, the ridiculous, wonderful man ), dazai dances down it with light steps, splashing his expensive shoes in each puddle. “if you hated me, you wouldn’t drink with me so often.”
yes. that is friendship, isn’t it? that is love, isn’t it? oda could spend his nights with anyone he wanted, and yet he chooses a man who might stop trying to exist at any given moment. 
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moments like these, he feels terribly unsure. dazai’s never asked the world for much, except to unhook its claws from his spine and let him die — he’s never grown attached, never needed, never demanded. he’s only ever asked for oda, for that strange friendship that snuck past his barriers and grew like a weed in his ribcage, twined up and up and about his heart. it’s selfish of him, isn’t it, to want to keep this, when he gives oda nothing in return for his kindness?
“say, odasaku…” he sways a step closer. “can we go back and get more drinks?”
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Dazai’s dramatic shifts in demeanor do not go unnoticed.  Just like Oda, the young executive seemingly struggles between the survival tactic of maintaining walls that encompass an already broken heart and the desire to let everything be bare to the people who seemed too accepting to be truthful.  He could never be certain if his inferences about Dazai were correct.  But the assumptions Oda did dare to make, such as the relatability between them, always brought him comfort.
“That’s right,” he confirmed, hesitantly dipping his toes into unknown waters.  Speaking the truths inside his heart was no easy task.  It was like learning how to speak.  Bringing a voice to his endlessly changing stream of thoughts from hopeless killer to a changed man shook him up.  Perhaps, moments of shining a light on those moments of vulnerability with Dazai, was progressing him to his goal.  Maybe, one day, they could learn what good changes were together.  “I could drink anywhere.  Lupin is one of many bars in this city.”  Despite the bartender’s best efforts to make the establishment comfortable for all walks of life, Dazai and Ango were truly the ones who made the place feel like home.  His friends became the welcome mats that greeted Oda’s weathered footsteps; ramshackle, dry, and sore feet stumbling indoors for solace from a long day’s work.  Prior to his first encounter with the young executive, he never knew what home felt like.  The difference in experience between laying inside his studio apartment and chatting with Dazai over whiskey was striking.  His barren living space paled in comparison to the bright decorations Dazai hung inside his mindscape with every pretty word he uttered.
“Yeah.  I would like that.”  Even though his bed was calling out to him, Oda knew his moments of rest were better spent with his friend, rather than lying down, alone in the trails of waiting for sleep to take him.  As Dazai neared his side, Oda followed suit.  Side by side, their shoulders were only a few inches apart.  “It’s getting late.  When do you need to wake up tomorrow?”
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fllawllessness-blog · 6 years ago
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I’m back from vacation!
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fllawllessness-blog · 6 years ago
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❝Is it painful to be the person who waits? Or is it more painful to be the person who makes others wait? Either way, there’s no need to wait anymore. That’s what is most painful.❞ - Osamu Dazai
꧁dedicated to the lovely @silence-song
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fllawllessness-blog · 6 years ago
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takaisuru‌:
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“O~da~sa~kuuuuuuuuuuuu.” Dazai calls his name in a way that mimics playful whining, heightened by sing-song. “You can’t stop there. Keep it up. Compliment me until I can’t take it anymore! Until I’m a flustered, breathless mess who finally drops dead right here in this bar. Wouldn’t that be quaint? Since I do like this place so much. I only feel bad for bartender-san. What a pain I’d be, to clean up.”
After taking a swish of his drink, he sets his glass down, only to cradle his chin into the empty palms of both of his hands. He gives Odasaku a curious look, paired with a contemplative hum —- a wicked smile ( although he doesn’t plan to get up to anything particularly dastardly; evil merely expects evil, knows how to emulate it. ) Dazai thinks of the Lupin bar as a magical space. A sacred one, too. While drinking in the bar, side by side, he, Odasaku and Ango weren’t quite members or this or that, responsible for that or this. They were just friends —- friends spending time together, cracking jokes, getting up to hijinks, almost as if they were living ordinary lives. The bar was the one place in the entire world Dazai felt comfortable. Where he could let down his iron walls briefly. Crack those doors open just a smidge to let someone like Odasaku in. Despite their difference in rank, Dazai likes to think that they have a lot in common ( and not in common ), which makes their every encounter an opportunity to learn something new about each other, or perhaps, the world around them. 
“Mmm, well. It depends on the catch. How devastating it is. I like you so much Odsaku, I’d might be willing to look past such a fatal flaw and continue our esteemed friendship. I can be generous, that way. But I’m happy to hear that you’ll still carry on as you are. It’s one of few things in this city worth anything in the slightest. But say —- ”  
His continued curiousity does not go missed. “If I were to drop dead. In this bar or at any other given point in time, would you cry?” 
“My motto is still the same,” He casually reminded him.  His glass was returned to its spot on the bar countertop.  From out of the corner of his left eye, Oda watched Dazai settle his chin across an open palm.  The pale bandages that encircled his wrists and arms were observed with the   “I won’t kill no matter what.  You can join the tens of thousands of others who have complained about my behavior.”
It was an over-exaggeration but it got the point across.  The Port Mafia’s frustrations with his principles were always looming over his head.   There were only a few things Oda outspokenly vented about.  That matter, in particular, was something that often came up between them.  In comparison to everyone else, Dazai’s interest in it was beyond Oda’s comprehension.  Relieving, but also mysterious in its presence due to Dazai’s own contrasting principles.
I like you so much Odasaku…  Our esteemed friendship…One of few things in this city worth anything in the slightest…
“Ah,” he spoke, without thinking.  Evidence of surprise made way to Oda’s features as he took in Dazai’s genuine words.  A hint of a smile almost pulled at the corners of the usually jaded man’s lips.  For half a second, the corners of his mouth twitched at the feeling.  He tilted his head forward and rubbed the back of his neck.  His thoughtful eyes shifted between his glass and the smile on Dazai’s face.  Leave it to Dazai to render him speechless.  If those words came from anyone else, Oda would have assumed it was all just sweet talk to get something out of him.  Thankfully, this was much more simple.  Dazai wanted to say that.  At that moment, he spoke complimentary words out of an interest in caring for him.  He almost didn’t know how to respond.  It seemed that flattery and high praise touched him much more than any violence possibly could.  A gun pointed directly at Oda’s head never ignited such a reaction.
Collecting his bearings by settling against the bar, Oda rested his elbows back down on its smooth surface.  “I get it,” he tried again, silently hoping that Dazai missed the ineloquence he let slip a few seconds ago.  Obviously, he didn’t.  Dazai noticed everything…  And yet, Oda still internally wished for it out of a silly concern of embarrassing himself.  “If you continue on like that, I might become the mess here,” he admitted, funnily enough in that almost monotone voice of his.
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“For you to be open to looking past a fatal flaw, too…” Those words fell from Oda’s dry lips in a thoughtful mumble.  He more so said it to himself in his current state of awe, rather than Dazai who patiently waited for an answer on a whole other matter.  For someone who donned the ability known as flawless, Oda found Dazai’s willingness to look past something that significant for the sake of their bond to be one of the most heart-warming things he has ever heard.  “It’s not something I could ask of you.  That’s almost too generous.  If your enemies become jealous of that generosity, I’ll let you know.”  If all of them weren’t swallowing Dazai’s bullets before then, of course.
Following all of those gentle musings exchanged between them, the question that Dazai left in Oda’s lap was given an immediate answer.  Images of a poor grave, a pathetic excuse of a service (all because Oda couldn’t afford a single thing in the first place, what with all his debts), nights and days spent inside a bar alone, and walks throughout a city with only memories of Dazai’s precious voice chirping close behind to offer a semblance of comfort flittered past his mind’s eye like damaged pages of a poorly written tragedy.  A book he never wanted to touch but continuously prepared himself to read for the rest of his mortal existence.  In the end, even with the hardened heart of a former hitman, Oda would be left with a hole inside his chest.
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“I would.”
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fllawllessness-blog · 6 years ago
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I am still on vacation but I would like to drop a small headcanon while I am still thinking about it. I do not use it on this blog since I feel that would be force shipping. I just figured I would remark about it.
The scene in the anime where Ango leaves Oda always indicated to me that Oda had romantic feelings for Ango for a period of time. As Oda is about to pass out from poison, he thinks back to a conversation he had with Dazai about how they felt their special abilities would fuzz up any romantic opportunities that came their way. In the next frame, you see Ango making his get away, followed by Oda claiming that he, himself, fuzzed up before passing out completely.
No one talks about that scene but Oda's self blame of fuzzing up amidst watching Ango leave always indicated that to me. I don't believe that scene was framed that way in the novel itself but that's how it always came across to me from the anime's version in specifics.
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fllawllessness-blog · 6 years ago
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if someone ever rps as one of oda's kids I will cry tears of joy
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