foone - Tumblr blog

[foone]

Yeah I have that problem too! I can't write porn that well because half the time I end up tangenting off to questions like "what's the economic system of the galaxy such that paying lizards to kidnap all humans to the moon makes sense?" and paying more attention to that than anything remotely sexy.

But I mean, I'm an asexual with ADHD. It's to be expected.

(amazingly this has nothing to do with that humanpetguy post I just replied to)

one of my favorite fetish worldbuilding tropes, because of how fucking dumb and unreasonable it is, is the Federal Department of Kinky Shit.

It's the very specific thing that happens where it turns out in your setting, there's a Government Agency that does Kinky Shit.

Like you gotta go to the Big Testing Center when you turn 21 to find out if you're gonna be turned into a ponygirl, by the USDHA: The United States Department of Human Agriculture.

or maybe you get a letter in the mail, and oh no! your number has come up in the Slut Lottery. What's that mean? Why is there a slut lottery? NO TIME TO EXPLAIN, IT'S JUST HOW IT IS! GET TO SLUTTIN'

It kinda makes me want to write one of these stories just so I can try to write a backstory that explains WHY IN THE FUCK their world is like this and no one seems to complain.

It's basically the same trope as "medieval village sacrifices a maiden every year to The Dragon" but modernized. Now there's a Government Agency in charge of Feeding Virgins To Winged Reptiles, and everyone is just fine with that. Apparently the supreme court said it was okay, or we had a constitutional amendment to give the government the power to turn young adults into meals for wyverns. How did that get ratified, anyway? You seriously got 38 states to vote in favor of taking citizens and feeding them to a monster?

This would almost be a commentary on the heartlessness of the draft except they're clearly way too horny about it. It's like instead of saying "the draft is like a monster that eats our children and we just smile and wave the flag", they're saying "the draft is a monster that eats our children and I'm masturbating to it"

[foone]

Behold, the deadly BLACK FICHE.

It's not as blank as it looks when it's 28 cards in a pile.

It's still normal transparent documents, just they made the background black. For some reason.

[foone]

(amazingly this has nothing to do with that humanpetguy post I just replied to)

one of my favorite fetish worldbuilding tropes, because of how fucking dumb and unreasonable it is, is the Federal Department of Kinky Shit.

It's the very specific thing that happens where it turns out in your setting, there's a Government Agency that does Kinky Shit.

Like you gotta go to the Big Testing Center when you turn 21 to find out if you're gonna be turned into a ponygirl, by the USDHA: The United States Department of Human Agriculture.

or maybe you get a letter in the mail, and oh no! your number has come up in the Slut Lottery. What's that mean? Why is there a slut lottery? NO TIME TO EXPLAIN, IT'S JUST HOW IT IS! GET TO SLUTTIN'

It kinda makes me want to write one of these stories just so I can try to write a backstory that explains WHY IN THE FUCK their world is like this and no one seems to complain.

It's basically the same trope as "medieval village sacrifices a maiden every year to The Dragon" but modernized. Now there's a Government Agency in charge of Feeding Virgins To Winged Reptiles, and everyone is just fine with that. Apparently the supreme court said it was okay, or we had a constitutional amendment to give the government the power to turn young adults into meals for wyverns. How did that get ratified, anyway? You seriously got 38 states to vote in favor of taking citizens and feeding them to a monster?

This would almost be a commentary on the heartlessness of the draft except they're clearly way too horny about it. It's like instead of saying "the draft is like a monster that eats our children and we just smile and wave the flag", they're saying "the draft is a monster that eats our children and I'm masturbating to it"

[foone]

No he wants the government to set up the milking, but he then wants it privitized because he's the worst kind of capitalist.

Like I said before, I can accept the government putting trans girls in chastity for their milk, but I draw the line at privitization.

[foone]

The Bimbofication of Cows

[foone]

People like to say they hate "puppy mills" and "irresponsible breeders", but when I, a puppy girl-

[foone]

For some reason Tumblr's For You page has decided what I want to see today is a bunch of half-naked butches.

And I mean, I'm not complaining exactly, I'm just wondering why it thinks this

[foone]

six bunny boys

[foone]

💜✨

[foone]

kitty

(she/her) 🐈🏳️‍⚧️

[foone]

It's the newest trend at parties among all the teens: using trans-cranial magnetic stimulation to temporarily delete parts of their body map.

Everyone laughing as you try to walk when you've forgotten how to move your legs, and them grabbing their own bodies as they keep getting surprised that they have them

[foone]

The one speedrun technique I've never seen anyone try is threatening the console with a firearm

[foone]

Learning to navigate around wearing the slow glasses: they're a vr headset that has a camera with 30 seconds of latency

[foone]

Why are you listening to The Man when he tells you what clothes you can wear? That's not very punk.

If you're covering a song originally sung by someone of a different gender, and you change the lyrics to make it not gay/trans, you're going to hell.

[foone]

I wonder what'll be the first country to provide grants to speedrunners.

Like, maybe they want their country to be better represented on speedrun leaderboards, so they'll pay people to professionally speedrun, and they offer classes in speedrunning at the national universities

[foone]

This is inspired by listening to a cover being done by a supposed "punk rock band" that had to rearrange some lyrics to avoid implying the male singer was in a dress. Because they're punk, but being gender-non-conforming is a step too far.

Cowards.

If you're covering a song originally sung by someone of a different gender, and you change the lyrics to make it not gay/trans, you're going to hell.

[foone]

And it turns out the episode was massively plagiarized from a 1980s Scifi novel: Dragon's Egg, by Robert L. Forward.

Which doesn't make the episode any normaler

blink of an eye was insane. voyager showed up, did the most egregious violation of the prime directive that anyone has done EVER, went "sry" and zoomed away. and daniel dae kim was there. 10/10 absolutely loved it