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freckledbeom · 4 years ago

Note

ykw i’ve been thirsty for some angst recently and your writing just hits so you doing this is a god send⚡️

could you do number 5 for Changkyun monsta x please?

prompt 5: "you're only happy when i'm wasted, feels like i'm falling in love when i'm falling to the bathroom floor." stella, all time low

im changkyun x gender neutral!reader

cw - angst, mentions of alcohol

word count: ~800

taglist: @formidxble @pikacuuuuuuu @lovely-ateez @xirenex

a/n: thank you so much for requesting! i really have no idea if this is any good, but i hope you like it <3

It wasn’t difficult to explain the way Changkyun made you feel. The butterflies he made you feel when you were both sober were brief, barely noticeable, but still enough to make you blush and give you that stupid smile that you had to bite your lip to hide. A few drinks in was different, the butterflies finally enough to wash away your self-consciousness, stupid smiles turning into bright grins, the sound of his voice making your heart flutter. It felt like a highschool crush, the way he made you smile with almost no effort at all.

What was difficult to explain was the way you made Changkyun feel. You could never tell if his awkwardly strung-together sober sentences were out of nerves or disinterest, or if the way his hands always found a way to hold onto you when you were tipsy was because of the alcohol or genuine affection. You’d take what you could get though.

It wasn’t really that bad, you tried to convince yourself. You were just too attached. Changkyun was just shy. You were overthinking it. Sometimes, when Changkyun was flashing you a smile or carefully guiding you out of a bar, you managed to convince yourself of all those things.

But that didn’t change the fact that you had to keep yourself from trying to text him when you were sober, some part of you knowing that the conversation would die out before you even had a chance to tell him about your day. So you weren’t exactly sure how you ended up in this situation, sitting on the curb outside of your work with no way to get home, your hands shaking as you waited for Changkyun to pick up the phone.

“Hey,” his voice finally came. You tried to swallow the relief you felt at hearing his voice.

“Hey,” you repeated his greeting back to him. “Can you- I was wondering if you could give me a ride home.”

The silence from his end of the line made your stomach twist, your eyes squeezing shut as you anticipated his reply.

“Right now?” he asked with a quiet sigh.

“Yeah,” you replied, letting your forehead rest on your palm. “I’m sorry, I just didn’t-”

“I'll come get you. Where are you anyway?” he asked. You tried to ignore the hint of annoyance in his voice, reciting the address of your work building to him. The call was silent for a while, finally interrupted by the rustling of clothes being pulled on and then his voice. “Okay, just stay put. I’ll be there soon.”

You nodded, forgetting that he couldn’t see you. Just as you opened your mouth to reply, you heard the tone of the call being brought to an end, squeezing your eyes shut once again, desperate to block out the all too familiar feeling of disappointment and embarrassment filling your chest.

By the time you saw Changkyun’s car pull up, pushing yourself off of the curb and seating yourself in the passenger seat, you could feel a lump building in your throat. The feeling was only worsened at the sight of his half-hearted smile upon seeing you. He reached across to squeeze your knee, a movement that was almost automatic, your heart clenching as you tried once again to convince yourself that you were just thinking too much.

“What happened, how did you get stuck here?” he asked, glancing over at you as he began the drive to your apartment. He tried to ignore the way your eyes were glassy with tears, your head resting against the window.

“Just a misunderstanding,” you whispered, barely audible over the sound of the car. The next time Changkyun looked over, it was your cheeks that were wet with tears, lips pressed together as you tried to keep quiet. He let out a sigh, trying not to look at you again. You were grateful for his silence. What could he say to make you feel better when his sober words were made up only of hollow affection? You looked up as you felt the car pull over and come to a stop, wiping your cheeks as you looked out the window, eyes landing on the entrance of a bar. “Changkyun-”

His hand found your knee again, thumb rubbing back and forth a little. You turned to him and found a slightly less half-hearted smile on his face.

“Come on, you’ll feel better,” he told you, leaning across to kiss your cheek before he went about finding his wallet and phone. You watched him, rubbing your eyes dry with a quiet hiccup. There they were again, the butterflies. He looked up at you, waiting for a reply. Finally, you nodded. After all, you’d take what you could get.

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freckledbeom · 4 years ago

Text

[1:35AM]

smut

inspo

“I think I might pass out.”

The body below you stiffens when the words leave your mouth. Calloused hands grip your thighs, and a quiet concerned hum rumbles through his chest, rattling your body when it reaches his lower stomach where you’re perched.

“But like,” your nails claw at his shirt as you shift around, your eyes squinted and glossy as your foggy brain builds a sentence, “in a good way. I like it.”

Jaebeom hums again, quiet and raspy as he reaches to grab his abandoned joint from the ashtray by his head, his other hand running up your thigh, traveling to pet at the skin of your back from under your shirt.

The fogginess of your mind could be easily explained. The small space of Jaebeom’s room was dimmed and clouded in smoke. A soft and heavy based song shaking the floor from the large speaker he kept shoved in the corner, a long string of blue LED’s being the only source of light. All this combined with the sturdiness of his body below you, and the buzz you got from the few shot guns you had pulled from his mouth within the past couple of hours, making you feel like you were floating above the thin mattress that he had laid on his floor.

You weren’t surprised that this is how your meeting with Jaebeom had ended, it ended here more than a few times once you started entering his room. More often than not, when you would nervously knock on his door, he was quick to pull you in, perch you straddled right on top of him, rolled a joint as you curiously stared, and push the smoke into your mouth as an excuse to slip his tongue behind your teeth. So no, you weren’t surprised, you definitely were not upset, but it wasn’t in your plan.

Outside of the warm, smoke filled room, you a Jaebeom were partial to a game of cat and mouse. In the world outside the walls of this room, you and Jaebeom would only spend time together in the form of a gathering of your mutual friends. Exchanging only a few words with the conversation called for it and spending the rest of the time sharing lingering glances. Sober you were more guarded and coyer, and Jaebeom cockier and more laidback. Both too proud to make a move outside of the ‘come over’ text you would receive late at night when he wanted your weight on top of him and his hands on your skin. The warm, cuddly bodies clouded in smoke and whispering secrets into the air, would be offended by the disconnected relationship that you two shared.

That had been your planned topic of conversation when you accepted his invitation. It wasn’t long before the late nights filled with shared highs and desperate tongues, made your skin itch for more. The weighted question of ‘what are we’ laid heavy in your mind, and would only gain weight when after a long night of pressing your mouths together like they spilled an air that was keeping you alive, would simply end with the boy below you would wrap an arm around your waist, pull you to the bed, and wrap his frame around yours, before falling into a deep sleep, usually when the sun would begin to rise.

It’s not that you didn’t want to have sex with him. The thought was swirling in your mind often, especially when you found yourself alone in your own bed at night, the only warm hands petting your body being your own, but it had yet to happen. Regardless of it being a reoccurring fantasy, the idea made you too nervous to make a move, and Jaebeom seemed far too content with the same motions every time. But, even with your nerves you were becoming antsy.

“C’mere,” he plucked the joint from his lips, his voice strained and the grin on his lips tight as he held the smoke in. The hand up your shirt presses into the center of your back, fingertips digging into your skin, making you lean forward, your hands going to press into the mattress next to his head to hold yourself up.

When your noses press together, he lifts his free hand to grip the back of your neck, his grip and his lips equally rough when they brush against yours. You quickly breath out before he opens his mouth and slots his lips with yours. Smoke spills from the corners of your mouth as it leaves his lungs, the smoke resparking the light buzz that had begun to fade. The heat from his mouth and the smell of his cologne adding to the way your body tingles.

A soft grin can be felt when he presses his mouth fully against yours, his tongue is quick to enter your mouth and lick at yours making you whine. Your shoulders pull towards your ears as you reach to tangle your fingers into his long hair, the way his hands fall to dig into your waist below your ribs and the feeling of his teeth biting at your lips makes you tense and tug at his roots.

A groan vibrates from his chest and into yours as he pulls you flush against him, almost no space between you as the heat of his mouth works against yours. Any other time, this would continue for the rest of the night, just pulling and biting at one another, but the way his thumb slips under the fabric of your bralette and digs into the skin below your breast, and the heat of his body that could be felt between your legs, felt like a electric spark to your system, making you hit your breaking point.

“Jae,” your voice is unrecognizable to your own ear as you whine out, your face tucking into his neck as you begin to nip and lick at the sensitive skin, your hips gently rocking against his torso.

He lets out an amused and curious hum as he continues to knead at your skin, one hand slipping down to grab at your upper thigh and squeezing. The roughness of his hands makes you whine and bite down on the skin protecting his jugular. He lets out a deep groan and holds on tighter, the way his hips knock up into the air not going unnoticed by you.

“Jaebeom, please,” you whimper into his neck and lick gently at his skin, your nails digging into his scalp.

“Please what baby?” there’s a teasing glint to his tone and his hand goes higher on your thigh, his tips of his fingers tucking into the band of the bottom of your underwear, “tell me what you need.”

The way he speaks is foreign to you, a suggestive and teasing tone you’re not used to. The way his words hit your core heating your entire body, your arms going to wrap around his neck in a hug as your hips shift back to press into his hold.

“Please, I need you,” your surprise of your sudden change in tone does nothing to smother the want that builds in your lower stomach and heat that forms in your panties, your thighs tensing in an urge to press together, only being stopped by his sturdy form pressing them apart.

He quietly curses under his breath as how needy you sound, a tone he never expected to come from you, but in no way uninvited, “didn’t know you were so desperate for me baby,” his doting tone and the way his mouth works against your earlobe making the slightly degrading words shoot sharp stabs of arousal into your stomach, “fuck if I wasn’t high out of my mind I’d ruin you.”

His words make you pout and slightly pull away, your noses pressing together as you look into his eyes, “please Jae, I need you.”

He hums and gently nods, as his foggy brain slowly pieces together his thoughts, a smile slowly pulling on his lips, “I’ve got you,” he promises as his hand runs to grab at the waistband of your underwear, his eyes squinting as he tugs on the fabric, “I’m not gonna leave you hanging.”

He pulls at your underwear until they strain around your thighs, the desperation in your brain making you start to wiggle until they finally get low enough to kick off and disappear into the tangled fabric of his sheets.

“Can you sit up for me sweetheart?” his thumbs digging into the skin under your ribs as he lifts you away. You reluctantly pull away and sit up, your hands pressing into his chest.

His lip tucks between his teeth and his hands wrap around your upper thighs, lifting you slightly up into the air, and pushing you farther back until you hover over his hips. A sly smile filling his face when he is pleased with where you are before he roughly grabs at your hips and roughly pulls you down to press into his crotch. The thin fabric of his briefs makes you feel every inch of his hardening length, a loud whimper sounding throughout the room and your shoulders slouching forward at the sudden pressure digging into your sensitive skin.

“I’ll fuck you so good in the morning,” he promises with a sweet smile. If your brain wasn’t clouded by the smoke and the feeling of him pressed against you, you would tease him that morning to him was around noon, but his tone kills your biting words before they can reach your tongue, “be good for me and I’ll make you feel good.”

You nod without thinking, your mouth dry and your eyes already fluttering from the slight stimulation. A soft groan rolls out of you and your head falls back onto your shoulders when he starts pushing your hips to grind against him.

“There you go baby,” his voice raspier than usual making a shiver run up your spine, “been wanting to see you like this for forever.”

“You could have had me like this a long time ago if you would have done anything about it,” you finally find the strength to bite back, your head lifting up to stare him in the eye as you start rolling your hips in slow circles.

“Is that so?” his eyebrows dart up and his head tilts to the side at your words, an evil glint in his eyes.

“Yeah,” you press down harder, a content hum rolling through you at the feeling of his tip pressing perfectly against your clit, “probably would have fucked you the first time I came over if you had done anything about it.”

He laughs at your words as his hips thrust up into you and knocking you to lean back, “As fun as that sounds, I’m too much of a gentleman for that,” you reach to grab at his thighs to hold yourself up as you shake your head, “also I was just as high as I am right now so I probably couldn’t have done much.”

You smile and dig your nails into his skin, your hips picking up the pace when electric bites of pleasure shoot through you. Your breath is deep and shallow, turning into desperate panting as you get closer. His hands grab at your knees, pulling your legs further apart and spreading you tighter against his lap.

The deep bass of the music shaking the room brings you back to the feeling of being on the verge of passing out. The whole atmosphere was beginning to get overwhelming on its own, but now combined with the boy below you grinding you into his lap, you felt like your mind was flying into a different existence.

He swears again, as his head tilts back into his thin pillow. His head lifting again to look at where your bodies were pressed together. His eyes squint and he chews on his lip, the gears turning in his head as his fingers grab at the hem of your skirt. He lifts the fabric to expose you to the warm room air, a deep moan falling from his lips at the sight of your dampened skin rolling against him.

“Here,” he presses the fabric against your stomach, his knuckles pressing into your skin, “hold this for me, let me see.”

You press one hand into the mattress between his legs to balance your weight, bringing the other to press your skirt against you. A smug grin falls onto his face at your obedience, his hand reaching under your shirt to grab at your chest, his fingers pinching and pulling to reach under your bralette. His other hand wraps around your hip as he rubs his thumb against the sensitive skin at the inner bend of your thigh. He teases the skin, tickling you and making you whine.

“Please Jaebeom,” your pleads falling on deaf ears, as his eyes zero in on where you grind against him. His eyes are glossed over and hooded at the way you are spread out for him.

“Fucking gorgeous,” his voice is hushed and dreamy, before his hand falls and presses flat against you, his thumb moving to dig into your clit. His starts rubbing quick circles into the buzzing nerves, making you jump and lift off him momentarily, before falling back against him, your hips jerking around erratically.

“Oh my god,” you sob as your head falls back, the feeling of his fingers on your clit is paired with the way he starts to pinch and pull at your nipple. You lose control of your hips and your breathing as the promise of an orgasm shakes your body.

“Are you gonna come for me baby?” his taunting tone losing its bite as his own ending approaches, “come nice and pretty for me okay?”

You can’t stop the noises falling from you, the music feels like it's entering your body and flooding your chest and your ears begin to ring when your orgasm is slowly pulled from you. Your hand tightens around your skirt and your eyes roll back. The grunts coming below you almost inaudible from the way you mind turns to tv static.

You swear in unison as he thrusts up into you and you clench around emptiness. His thumb is even rougher as he comes against you.

He keeps circling the button of nerves as he comes down from his orgasm, unknowingly overstimulating you, and making you jerk around as if you possessed. You fall forward, pressing your chest against his and burying your face into his neck, the weight of your body being the only thing that finally stops him from melting your brain.

You crawl against him, pressing your face deeper, and your arms return to wrap around him in a hug. A silent laugh shakes through his body at the way you cling against him, his arms reaching around to hold you tightly against him.

“Eww,” his tone suddenly turns childish as his tilts to press your back into the mattress, his weight knocking the breath out of you as you wrap your legs around his hips, your ankles locking together, “we’re all gross now.”

Your squirm against him when his mouth and tongue attack your neck, a squeal breaking the atmosphere when he starts blowing raspberries into your skin.

He finally calms down after a beat of time. He rubs his nose into your dampened skin, breathing deeply as your fingers return to tangle in your hair.

“If this is the reward I get for getting you high now, you’re coming over more often.”

Part 2 here -> [12:18AM]

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