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So I might be weird for doing this, but I couldn't help it. In the name of fashion, men in London wear really tight pants. And by tight pants I mean super skinny 2 sizes too small tight pants. More often than not I would see a man with jeans so tight I could see the definition in his calf muscles. Or pants so tight and so small that it didn't even go over his ass. However, the women did the complete opposite. I mean they wore skinny jeans but they didn't look like they were painted on. Did I miss something? Were people looking at my jeans and asking why I was wearing those new high fashion men's jeans they saw at their local Primark? So like a creep I took pictures of the men I saw wearing skinny jeans and made this wonderful collage. Enjoy.

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The Museum of London

The Museum of London was my favorite museum, and unlike the British Museum I actually got to see the entire place. We got to see a little bit of the London wall here from the window too.

There was a replica of the Rose Theater which was much bigger than the one we saw over by the Rose Theater excavation site. I liked the one in the museum much better because I could see through it and really get a clear picture of what it was like to be in there.

They also had the Rose Theater ring in there on display and I was excited because I had actually bought the replica ring over in Stratford.

So what really caught my attention was the painting of the great fire of London. The lighting they used made the painting look so real and scary. You can almost imagine what the people of London went through. It actually really sad to look at. They also had a display of a burnt bible and a pair of children shoes which added to the sadness of the entire situation.

The other thing I really enjoyed seeing inside the museum was the playbill of Oscar Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest which was showing at St. James’s Theater. I love Oscar Wilde and have pretty much read a lot of his work—even some that people attribute to him but have no actual proof to prove it.

I will be honest, I was so tired when I was there and my feet were hurting really bad that there were a lot of display I kind of just blew right by. We spent a lot of time in the black plague display and I wish I had taken some pictures there but Naomi and I were so busy pushing the buttons on the displays and playing the survive the black plague game that I completely forgot. We had some fun there and if I could, I would go back with my son.

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I honestly didn’t think the tower of London was going to be as interesting as it ended up being. I thought it was really cool that ravens live there and are pretty much well taken care of. More of the London wall was there and I thought that was really cool because there’s pieces of it everywhere and it sort of gives you an in person perspective on how much ground that wall actually covered.

I wish I had taken a picture of the guard that was there (not the poor guy that had to stand still but the one marching back and forth) because I found it really interesting how their marching differs from the marching we do here in the U.S. I’ve done my fair share of marching and marching in place, and I thought it was really weird the way he would turn around to march in the other direction. I couldn’t help thinking that if that were me, I’d feel real silly.

The white tower had a lot of interesting things inside. Especially these nasty toilet things.

Everyone’s poop and pee just went out the hole and slid down the wall. Because let’s be honest, that stuff didn’t come out of the hole like some neat little package leaving no trace of it behind.

This weapon (the gun on the bottom if you can see it is labeled 3) I thought was pretty cool.

It doubled as both a gun and a mace. Run out of bullets? No problem. It’s got pointy things on the end to hit people with.

The horse armor was strange. It was nice of them to think of the horse I suppose but it couldn’t have been light. So not the horse is carrying his armor and carrying a man with armor and weapons. What a rough time to be a horse.

I’m also definitely going to talk about all those stairs. For the first time, going up the stairs was way easier than going down the stairs. And as those never ending stairs kept coming, I started getting dizzy. I can’t imagine having to go up and down these spiraling stairs every day.

And finally I saw the crown jewels. There were so many jewels, rubies, and diamonds there it was incredible. And because there was so much in there you walk on to a conveyer belt as it takes you down the row of crowns. I wish we were able to take pictures so I could get a longer look at them. There were so many people in there that it was hard to look at something for more than just about 30 seconds. I thoroughly enjoyed the tour there. Especially because Owen was very informative. He knew what he was talking about.

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The British Museum

The British Museum was enormous. There were a bunch of rooms with numerous artifacts to look at which definitely makes it a multi-day trip. When we got to the museum we had to go through security to get our bags searched. The man at the table opted to not search my wristlet because he must have felt that it was too small. However, I know that I can shove a small handgun in my wristlet and it was pretty annoying that the security there didn’t think of that. I don’t like being searched as much as the next person, but I also don’t like being in large crowds, “protected” by incompetent unarmed security.

Anyway, once inside we walked into a room filled with glass cases. There were so many things to look at, we spent about half an hour in that room. Some things were interesting and other things were weird, like this little guy right here.

Hey, if they can show it in a museum, it’s not inappropriate.

There were other things in the room as well, like statues of heads, feet and more feet. I thought the book by Alexander Gordon opened to a record of the Ruthwell Cross was pretty interesting. If anyone is aware of the poem Dream of the Rood, lines similar to the poem can be found on the Ruthwell Cross. The actual cross is located in Scotland.

What I was really there for was Franks Casket, and I was happy once I had found it.

Franks Casket is an Anglo Saxon 8th century chest made of whale’s bone. On it are carved images of the Adoration of Magi, Roman myth, Germanic legend along with a few other things. Although many scholars have agreed on what these depictions contain, they don’t always all agree on what is on the right panel, which has resulted in many different interpretations of it. The chest is only 9 x 7 ½ x 5 1/8 inches. I’m not going to lie. Once I got a look at Frank’s Casket, I was pretty much done looking in the museum. We spent about a total of about 2-3 hours inside the museum before we decided to leave. There were still other rooms to look through but it would have taken hours more to complete. It was also very hot and crowded in there, and I was not a fan of that

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On Hamlet

I really enjoyed the three plays we watched during our trip, but I’m going to go ahead and give my review on Hamlet. Hamlet is not one of my favorite plays; however, I do like it, and like Romeo and Juliet, Hamlet is one of those plays that is overdone. You can’t watch the play without thinking about how Hamlet was done by some other actor. I went in with no expectations and an open mind.

When the play started, I wasn’t sure what to think. I saw small screens on each side of the stage and a much larger one in the center. I began thinking that I might not like the creative route taken, but then the initial ghost scene is what caught my attention. I like the creepy vibe the scene had with the ghost in the screen. It was very scary movie like which I enjoyed. The transparent wall I thought was a pretty interesting idea. The audience could see what was going on in one room while being in the other. However, I have a short attention span and I sometimes found myself paying attention to the background instead of the actor that was speaking. I still thought it was a pretty neat idea though. I really liked Ophelia and Gertrude in this play. The women in Shakespeare’s plays are sometimes flat two-dimensional characters, but the change in Ophelia’s character was very apparent and the emotional turmoil that she was going through was pretty deep. Gertrude’s character was really strong and I enjoyed that about her. In modernizing the play, other changes were of course made—like the use of guns rather than swords. I must admit that when Hamlet shot Polonius I jumped in my seat. I wasn’t ready for how loud the gun was going to be. A more subtle change was how Hamlet hid behind the sofa during Ophelia’s talk with Laertes.

This wasn’t how it was written in the play. Hamlet wasn’t even on stage for this conversation. However, I actually liked that change because I thought it showed that although he saw how much Laertes loved Ophelia, he could never love her like that, even though he argued his love was greater while he was waist deep in Ophelia’s grave. I also felt that it showed how Hamlet fails to meet expectations that he sets for himself and even expectations that the audience has set for him.

I wasn’t a fan of the ending and how everyone danced peacefully in a heavenly ballroom. They died in sin and it went against Hamlet’s reasoning for not killing Claudius much earlier in the play. I also didn’t like Claudius’s character.  I felt as if he was too stiff.

Overall I thought the play was great and I enjoyed watching it.

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Buckingham Palace

Buckingham Palace and the changing of the guards was interesting. First, I will say that there was no changing of the guards happening (that’s what the police officer had said).

I didn’t expect for it to be the big spectacle it was when I got there. Guards were parading around playing music and people were everywhere. When I got there, the first thing I noticed was that there were hardly any armed police on the ground. I noticed the sniper at the top of the roof and the single armed officer with a rifle slung across his chest, but that’s it. The rest were unarmed police officers standing entirely too close to the guardrails. That made me uneasy, and hyper-vigilant which made it very hard to enjoy what was going on. We watched the guards march around for a while, and at one point I noticed that they had an Irish Wolfhound at the front of one group. The dog looked frightened and was trying to pull away while horns, trumpets, and drums blasted behind it. It was not a pretty sight and further added to the unpleasant experience. I no longer cared to be there, and right before some of us decided to leave, I saw a large procession of horses with trumpet wielding guards. While the horses were beautifully dressed and the guards looked sharp, I can’t imagine that the loud horns don’t cause a lot of discomfort for the horses.

The palace was nice to look at, and the guards were nice to look at but I can’t imagine ever wanting to go back there again.

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The Life of Bad Beer and Bad Service

We’ve been in England for about 10 days now and I would like to think that ive taken a good amount of the culture in. So, I’m going to talk about beer and food, because beer and food are culture, right?

Well I’ll begin with the beer. Beer is a thing here, and I like beer. There are pubs everywhere, so there’s no shortage of beer. Of course not. The people in England have been drinking beer forever due to their lack of clean water. Did anyone notice the beautiful brown Thames when we were on the London eye? Anyway, I figured by now they would have perfected the art of beer craft, and it could just be my Americaness showing, but English Ale is a big NO for me. You know that refreshing fizzy greatness that beer has and how awesome it feels after a long day? English Ale has no carbonation so it’s the equivalent of drinking a flat beer that you forgot to drink about an hour ago. Or like drinking hoppy iced tea. But every pub I’ve been to, I’ve seen the bartenders pouring pint after pint of that flat stuff. Also if you’re ever curious about what a jug of beer is, it’s about 5 pints of beer and a hell of a lot more than just for two people. Every place I’ve stopped to eat at, if they have beer I’m ordering some. And so far I’ve stuck to the same three beers: London pale Ale, London Pilsner, and Hop House 13.

So, food: I’ve heard the English aren’t known for their food and I can see why. I love trying new foods and aside from not eating pork, lamb or veal (for health and ethical reasons) I don’t necessarily consider myself a picky eater. Like beer, fish and chips is a thing here. Almost every place you go to, you’ll find it on the menu (it’s like mac and cheese back home). However, not every plate of fish and chips is the same. Pubs seem to do a better job at making them than restaurants, and though I’ve only ordered it twice since I’ve been here, I’ve seen other people’s order of fish and chips that made me glad I didn’t order it. I quickly learned that cheese doesn’t come in slices or in that shredded kind. When you ask for cheese, it really means cheese sauce. Down the street from the globe there was a pub and I ordered nachos. What I got were Doritos with cheese sauce, store bought guacamole, and canned salsa. I mean, maybe they weren’t Doritios, but they might as well have been. Safe to say I won’t be ordering nachos until I get home. Not all the food is terrible though—the Indian food here is amazing—but I can see why England isn’t known for their food.

Aside from the food, I have noticed that service here doesn’t mean the same it does back at home. At pubs, you won’t find table service (in very few you do). You walk in, order at the bar, pay for your food and drinks and then pick your own table. So that means there’s no such thing as keeping a tab open—which is kind of a good thing since I feel that it causes you to drink a lot less. When you do go to place that has table service, the service is much slower than it is back at home. I’ve sat at a table for near 20 minutes before a server took the table’s order. You also don’t order just drinks first and then food. Everything is ordered all at once. Getting and paying the check (or the bill as they call it) when you’re done eating is the bigger challenge. It’s not brought out to the table with a “there’s no rush, just pay when you’re ready.” You have to flag the server down, to get the check and then flag them down again for them to take your money. If they don’t want my money I’ll gladly eat for free. The servers also don’t seem as happy to take your order as they do back home. There’s no smiles, no laughs, and no “my name is John, I’ll be your server and happy to get you what you need.” For them, the less they need to interact with you, the better.

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For anyone that hasn’t gone. Shitfaced-Shakespeare in Boston is pretty funny. Romeo and Juliet plays on Fridays and Saturdays. They have performances coming up June 24th and June 30th.

ALSO

I saw this as well but I haven’t seen it yet so I am not sure how it is.

There are performances June 17th and June 25th at 6pm. It’s only $15 to get in. It should be like Shitfaced Shakespeare except the actor is high. I would assume he would just be hungry and sleepy.

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The Land of Shakespeare

Two weeks ago I got a graduation card from my brother in which he quoted “Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.” He misspelled the word “afraid” and he made sure to tell me that before he gave me the card. However, it wasn’t the misspelled word that caught my attention; it was the quote. We all know that out of context that quote sounds great, even inspirational. I’m sure he meant well too, but does he really know where that quote is from? I didn’t ask him and I certainly didn’t call him out on it. I was just happy he was there to support me. Maybe he just googled Shakespeare quotes because every English major loves Shakespeare, right?

So, like my brother let’s put google to use. I typed “Shakespeare things” in the search box and found board games, mugs, t-shirts, signs, books, posters, key chains, wine bottle stoppers, stickys, band-aids, and even a fart whistle. Sujata Iyengar was right. “Shakespeare” really is a multimillion dollar business. There’s also movies: West Side Story, The Lion King, 10 Things I Hate About you, O, She’s the man, etc. This made me think about remediation and this thing Sujata mentioned, “shakescraft” or intermedial adaptations. I think about all those items that came up as a result of my google search and I think if them as intermedial adaptations. They take concepts of Shakespeare or concepts from his plays/sonnets and make…things. But I see the movies as remediation of Shakespeare. Even the books we have all been reading the plays from are technically considered remediation because there are no authentic Shakespeare texts. I mean, most of the time line numbers don’t match up in class, stage directions that are in one book are nowhere to be found in another. How would Shakespeare feel about this? How would he feel if he knew his face was slapped on the front of a pair of underwear? Maybe he’d just be happy that more than 400 years after his death he’s still cool. He might even complement my socks.

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Save the date! For anyone that's interested. Best part, it’s FREE!!!

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Gender Bender

A boy dressed like a boy, pretending to be a girl that’s pretending to be a boy? Oh Shakespeare, it’s bad enough that his jokes aren’t always easy to get, but having to dig through these gender layers can get so confusing.

Let’s start with his poems: who are they for? “A woman’s face with nature’s own hand painted” “Shall I compare thee to a Summer’s day?” They both sound like they’re for a woman, but nope. They’re for a boy; a lovely boy at that.  but why does he sound so feminine? Was it possible that the boy really was that feminine and Shakespeare was just describing what he saw? Maybe he wasn’t that great in the love department (remember, it’s not a great play about love until someone dies for or because of it) and these poems were just another one of those gender bending jokes of his. **Did she really just buy this poem? I was totally describing the hot chick I saw buying tea last week.**

What about his plays? Let’s blurr the lines about gender here. Women weren’t allowed to be on stage so all the boys played the parts of women. We knew this already. Can we call this common knowledge? But what about the men watching the plays? They knew this too. But did they ever think, “gee that boy makes one hot Olivia!” Did they forget those women were actually prepubescent boys? And who were they really attracted to? The boy or the woman the boy was playing? And what does this say about the boy himself? Does he like the attention? More specifically the male attention. It seems unfair to blame him for his androgynous looks; he can’t help it. And after all, homosexual desire doesn’t define the man behind those desires, right? James I doesn’t seem to think so. He employed catamites. It seems like the gender line is getting thinner and thinner. Yet the ganymede played such an important role in theater. Who else was going to play all those women on stage? The men certainly couldn’t do it. Not with all that facial hair—especially if we can all remember what that’s made of.

Oh those opposing the theater must have been having a field day over this! If a man thought that Olivia was hott on stage, what about when the boy was no longer on stage? Did he think the boy was hott then? How would he know the difference? How would he know when to stop being attracted to Olivia? Nothing makes sense anymore. The theater has poisoned our minds with such ambiguity we no longer know how to tell the difference between on stage and off stage (not that it was okay to be attracted to pre-pubescent boys in drag).

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Having the right formula for a comedy is essential

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When you have the best Shakespeare professor. Every time Shakespeare is taught or mentioned.

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Hamlet! Hamlet!! Hamlet!!!

Everyone wants to be Hamlet and why not? A chance to play an emo lunatic who’s into his mom’s sex life?

Okay so let’s talk about Kenneth Branagh’s Hamlet in 1996–specifically his interaction with Ophelia. Hamlet is cold and sometimes very stoic. But he loves thy fair Ophelia. And he even kisses her.

And those mementos…she gives them back? What?!? The pain. Hamlet does a 180 on her and is so angry. But he’s passionate. Do we believe him? I don’t. I’m sure he was hurt and angry. And sure, he loved her--who wouldn’t? Branagh does a great job acting like Hamlet who’s acting like he’s crazy. But I’m not really judging his acting here. I just don’t believe his Hamlet’s crazy act.

Lets also look at Lawrence Olivier’s 1948 Hamlet. He’s a bit harsher. Kind of meaner. He also hovers around her when he talks to her which is strange. And he even throws Ophelia to the ground when she goes in for the hug. Clear rejection! Ouch. I believe his crazy though. That look he has on his face. It’s almost as if being too emotional and depressed has gotten to him. Can we also talk about how he leaps across the floor a few times?

I like Branagh’s Hamlet better. He’s less depressed and more of a smart ass, and I can dig that. I also think Olivier’s Hamlet is way too into his mom. Or maybe it’s that mom is way into him. Either way it’s weird. You be the judge.

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The most accurate portrait of Shakespeare to date? He’s got the earring so it must be

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Rumor Has It

Rumor has is that William Shakespeare spoke so eloquently in iambic pentameter right before he killed a calf. He hung with the wrong crowd and stole deer. Rumor has it that he stole from a man, Sir Thomas Lucy of Charlecote who punished Shakespeare so severely he retaliated by writing a bitter ballad about him. He was later prosecuted for the ballad and was forced to leave Warwickshire for London–talk about words are weapons. Rumor has it that Shakespeare played the ghost in Hamlet.

Shakespeare is a great actor, he’s a terrible actor, a much better playwright. It was only because he moved to London that he fell into play acting. Thank you bitter ballad. Thank you hot headed Shakespeare. He was gay, but not really gay because the word gay in terms of sexuality was first used in the 1900′s. So he was homosexual or better yet into homoeroticism because his ballads say so. Or so they say.

There’s one account of a nosey Shakespeare and a Richard the Third fan girl.

Fan girl [to Burbage]: Oh Come to my house, but don’t come as yourself. Come dressed like Richard the Third.

Burbage: Um….sure.

**Shakespeare gets there first**

Burbage: *knock knock* Here’s Richard!!!

Shakespeare: Sorry Bro, William the Conqueror came well before Richard the Third.

John Manningham wrote that in his diary. But why? His entry was dated March 13, 1602. Shakespeare was about to be 38 and by 16th century standards was old. Was he really still stealing someone else’ s girl by that age? I suppose anything is possible. I guess he didn’t know about bros before….uhh.

John Aubrey wrote about Shakespeare in 1679 and Nicholas Rowe wrote about him in 1709. This was long after Shakespeare was dead. Of course scholars study Shakespeare now and the only proof we have of anything he did must be recorded. Everything else is speculation or just made up stories no better than what we find in the National Enquirer. Could he have spoken beautiful words before killing a calf? Sure. But there’s no proof and it is highly unlikely that John Shakespeare was there with pen and parchment ready to record every moment in his son’s life. Even Manningham’s account of what happened seems questionable. Shakespeare didn’t really write about himself and it only seems that he preferred to write about others. He was definitely king of sealed lips and kept much of his life a secret. Don’t believe the Elizabethan tabloids.