futb-o-lka - Tumblr blog

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so you may or may not have noticed that this blog isn't really active anymore. much as i love fandom and other shitposting, i find that this year (and for the forseeable future) i can't enjoy this lighthearted activity without a sence of guilt.

however, i'm still trying to keep running my other blog on here. it's where i liveblog my study-related woes and sometimes also write about the curious things i come across in my field of studies (japanology)

if (for some reason) you want to keep up with me, that blog is where you want to go. unsubscribing completely is also an option. unfortunately, i don't think i'll be posting anything here anytime soon

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this post was made almost 3 years ago and through the tireless effort on @shitpostingfromthebarricade 's part it still gets new notes

congrats on the empereur's mercy week i guess? keep on unsettling casual les mis enjoyers (like myself) and making unsuspecting tumblrinas who got too close to the sewers see your truth!

i've just seen two (2) nAPONTMERCY FICS ON MY DASH

they go CONSEQUENTLY

to say this was a Damaging Spiritual Experience is to put it very very mildly

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a russian artist called Sasha Skochilenko is now facing up to 10 years in prison after swapping the price tags in a supermarket with stickers containing information about what the russian armed forces are doing in Ukraine, she was accused of spreading “fake information about the military”, because there’s a brand new article in the russian criminal code for that

Sasha has celiac disease (genetic gluten intolerance) and bipolar disorder, she has to keep a strict diet and take her meds regularly, which she is unable to do while in the pre-trial detention center. if she stays there, her health will get worse, organ failure or oncological and autoimmune diseases may start to progress

here’s a petition demanding an alternative form of pre-trial detention for her (do NOT donate to change.org, just sign & spread the petition, thank you!)

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unironically, one of my favourite pieces of horror writing is victor hugo’s description of an octopus

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A master post of Thomas Romain’s art tutorials.

There’s not enough space to post all of them, SO here’s links to everything he has posted (on twitter) so far : 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12. 

Now that new semesters have started, I thought people might need these. Enjoy your lessons!

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evidence:

the real Mercer Effect is actually not the stupid blaming-creators-for-good-content whatever, it's when your dm grows The Hair after being left dming for too long

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the real Mercer Effect is actually not the stupid blaming-creators-for-good-content whatever, it's when your dm grows The Hair after being left dming for too long

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God I love German children’s literature

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Today's recipe of the day, according to the French news: "lapin Bossuet au brie de Maux". Which is indeed named after that Bossuet in that Maux, who was apparently fond enough of rabbits that he kept a private colony just for eating.

Also, it posts-dates canon, but apparently the Brie from Maux has been declared King of Cheeses and Prince of Desserts. (And they have cheese monks and I love it).

New headcanon is that either the dish itself or a mocking tribute to said dish featured in our Bossuet's banquet with [s]Henriette[/s] the fille de cinq louis.

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YOU KNOW WHAT BOTHERS ME

when fantasy books describe the cloth of Quant Farmpeople’s clothing as “homespun” or “rough homespun”

“homespun” as opposed to what??? EVERYTHING WAS SPUN AT HOME

they didn’t have fucking spinning factories, your pseudo-medieval farmwife is lucky if she has a fucking spinning wheel, otherwise she’s spinning every single thread her family wears on a drop spindle NO ONE ELSE WAS DOING THE SPINNING unless you go out of your way to establish a certain baseline of industrialization in your fake medieval fantasy land.

and “rough”??? lol just because it’s farm clothes? bitch cloth was valuable as fuck because of the labor involved ain’t no self-respecting woman gonna waste fiber and ALL THAT FUCKING TIME spinning shitty yarn to weave into shitty cloth she’s gonna make GOOD QUALITY SHIT for her family, and considering that women were doing fiber prep/spinning/weaving for like 80% of their waking time up until very recently in world history, literally every woman has the skills necessary to produce some TERRIFYINGLY GOOD QUALITY THREADS

come to think of it i’ve never read a fantasy novel that talks about textile production at all??? like it’s even worse than the “where are all the farms” problem like where are people getting the cloth if no one’s doing the spinning and weaving??? kmart???

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"normal guy in an really weird place just chilling" and "weird thing or creature in a really normal place confused as hell" are both extremely funny concepts to me

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Eight Rules For Writing -- from a long ago piece I wrote for The Guardian.

1 Write.

2 Put one word after another. Find the right word, put it down.

3 Finish what you're writing. Whatever you have to do to finish it, finish it.

4 Put it aside. Read it pretending you've never read it before. Show it to friends whose opinion you respect and who like the kind of thing that this is.

5 Remember: when people tell you something's wrong or doesn't work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.

6 Fix it. Remember that, sooner or later, before it ever reaches perfection, you will have to let it go and move on and start to write the next thing. Perfection is like chasing the horizon. Keep moving.

7 Laugh at your own jokes.

8 The main rule of writing is that if you do it with enough assurance and confidence, you're allowed to do whatever you like. (That may be a rule for life as well as for writing. But it's definitely true for writing.) So write your story as it needs to be written. Write it honestly, and tell it as best you can. I'm not sure that there are any other rules. Not ones that matter.

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I finally got around to finishing this doodle? Line art? Madness? After having it taped to my wall for months unfinished.

And progression pics below.

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IT’S NOT AT ALL SOUP SEASON, MOTHERFUCKERS, AND YET IT IS ALWAYS SOUP SEASON, MOTHERFUCKERS

My viral soup post hasn’t gotten reblogged in a while and needed to be updated, and @redheadmystic asked me about it today, so here’s a brand-new master post of soups, including most of the ones that were on the list before, as well as some newer favorites. I’ve made many more soups than just this list over the past year, but these selections are my very tip-top, most enthusiastically-recommended picks.

Chef Michael Smith’s Thai Coconut (Red Curry) Soup with Chicken & Noodles 

Not A Curry’s Thai Coconut (Green Curry) Shrimp Noodle Soup with Tofu

Nigella Lawson’s Cold Cure Soup (onion, orange, lime, ginger, cinnamon, chicken: your house will smell like heaven)

BA’s Chicken Khao Soi (very rich; will stick to your ribs)

BA’s Tom Ka Gai (if you can find galangal, it makes this soup)

Ellie Krieger’s Savory Carrot Cashew Soup (healthy & vegetarian)

my recipe for Pasta e Fagioli

my recipe for Creamy Spring Onion, Pea, and Zucchini Soup (easiest imaginable prep)

Victoria Granof’s Pasta con Ceci (sometimes I like it thick, more like a pasta dish, and sometimes I add more water and loosen it up because I want it brothier, like a soup)

my adapted version of Caldo Xóchitl(-ish)

Smitten Kitchen’s 44-Clove Garlic Soup (don’t be afraid of the number; it’s surprisingly refined and understated)

Yvette Van Boven’s Daube Provençal (stew beef marinated in, then simmered with orange, olives, and a whole bottle of Côtes du Rhône)

BA’s Poached Cod with Tomato & Saffron (note: I double all the ingredients but the fish, and add olives and capers, to make this more like a stew than a poach)

America’s Test Kitchen’s brilliant Creamy Cauliflower Soup (nearly dairy free, but super creamy)

my own recipe for Vichyssoise, adapted from a 1962 recipe in Gourmet

Alison Roman’s Spicy Noodle Soup with Mushrooms & Herbs (vegan)

Sue Li’s Lemony Shrimp & Bean Stew

Colu Henry’s Roasted Tomato & White Bean Stew

Kay Chun’s Hot and Sour Dumpling Soup

Eric Kim’s Cornish Game Hen Soup with Garlic, Ginger, and Fried Shallots

With Spice’s Cabbage, Onion, and Farro Soup

Veselka’s Cabbage, Sauerkraut, and Pork Soup

Classic Billi Bi (an elegant, wine-y, old-school cream of mussels soup)

Julia Turshen’s Chicken Tortilla Soup with the Works (requires a huge pot and an entire afternoon. Worth it.)

Elaine Louie’s completely brilliant Miso French Onion Soup (vegan if you leave out the melted cheese at the end)

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Now to Win at the Other Hugo: Digress like a 19th-Century Novelist

Do you ever read fiction and wish that the author would pause to delve into the backstory of a specific object, event, or character that has no direct bearing on the plot because the stories of today are too direct and devoid of semi- to thoroughly-informed meandering? Do you find yourself writing epic backstory for a walk-on character or throwaway literary reference you’ve invented on the fly, all of which stays unpublished in your notes? Come digress with us! This party is for people who like the long way around and the deep dives into minutiae, whether your ambition stretches to “I wrote a drabble, then a page of carefully-researched exposition about the history of the coffee beans sold in the shop where the drabble is set,” or to “I invented a conlang for the Tusken Raiders and I’m trying to figure out what to do with it since it got jossed by The Mandalorian, so I’m going to go full on JRR Tolkien and write a heroic novel of colonization and resistance in the sands of Tatooine.” Any fandom or original project is welcome. Whether your digression is Victor Hugo-esque and pointed in the direction of revolution, or waxes as lyrical about sperm as Herman Melville, or takes place in the appendix where all the good bits live, or comes in the form of humorous footnotes that go on far longer than Terry Pratchett’s, come share your project with us. The timeline for this writing fest is January 1 - December 31, 2022. There is no minimum length. As long as your material feels sufficiently digressive to you, it’s welcome as part of this fest. As an example, your host is planning on writing a limerick with footnotes. On the other end, there is no maximum length. Digress your heart out. Les Misérables, Moby Dick, or other era-appropriate pastiche, amalgam, or AUs are thoroughly within the brief. Any setting is welcome. If your interests are less word-based but you still want to play, join the fun. Art with footnotes or an exploded diagram? Cool. Podfic that pauses to read scholarly articles? Neat. A playlist with meta digressions that make Pale Fire look coherent and on-topic? Sure, why not! If you can work out how to digress in your medium, please tell us about it. As for the veracity of your digressions, melannen notes: “I think the key here, for the people worried about doing all the research, is that neither Hugo nor Melville knew what the fuck they were talking about at least half the time. In fact there should probably be a requirement you get at least one thing as emphatically wrong as the ‘Whales are fish’ chapter. I think you get bonus points for an assertion that is technically correct but all the facts you back it up with are bullshit.” (N. B. There will be no points system, only the enjoyment of the people who enjoy your fanwork.) If you’re interested in joining us, drop by the Dreamwidth entry and comment with what fandom or fandoms you’re considering digressing in and/or the fandom(s) you’d be open to cheerleading or beta-reading in. Closer to the posting date, I’ll make a collection on AO3, but it seems a bit premature to create one today. For people thinking of joining: Would there be any interest in a Discord server for the purpose?