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gayofthefae · 14 hours
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Mike not knowing what to do to solve his problem that has an explicitly outlined solution that El told him directly is the biggest clue tbh.
"I didn't know what to say" really? In reaction to "you never say it", you don't know what to say?
It's even more suspicious in context. "I should have explained myself but, I don't know, I didn't know what to say". His "I don't know" is IMMEDIATELY prefaced by him clearly outlining himself knowing what he should have done. Explained himself. He knows what he should have done but he also knows it was not an option. Or perhaps rather, how to say it. "I should explained myself but I didn't know what to say". How do you put that into words? How do you make it come out well? What IS the explanation? All he knows now is that actually saying it is off the table.
It isn't "if only I'd said I love you" or it wouldn't be "I didn't know what to say". It's "if only I had a sufficient reason". He may not know what that is yet, but he's subconsciously moved past the point of trying to say it. Now he JUST wants a good enough reason, an explanation he can give her.
He isn't brainstorming a solution, he's brainstorming an apology. He was brainstorming a solution before when he said "if I would have said that thing". He was brainstorming a way to undo it, to apologize for not saying it. Now, he's brainstorming a solution for not being able to. Because, whether he realizes the change yet or not, he has moved on from "couldn't" to acknowledging "can't". He wants to preserve their relationship but he's a realist. What possible solution is there to change this from "a fight you can't come back from"? How could I have "explained myself" and what even is that explanation? Why can't I tell her and will she forgive me if I explain?
She might forgive him if he can say it but he knows that isn't enough. Any idiot knows that you can say "hey, I love you, I'm sorry, I just froze up". That's the easy-grab answer. "Nerves", no elaboration. That's why he went for it in the end. That was always on the table. "Fear of vulnerability, like they say in the movies!"
He needs to know why he couldn't say it so she understands that it isn't malicious or out of a lack of love care for her. He knows that much. He needs her to know that it's just about him, because that much he knows, but that's bullshit if he doesn't have an explanation to back it up. He just wants an explanation to be able to tell her that much...until he gets one. He was hoping it wouldn't be that. And if it risks him losing her, it DEFINITELY risks her life. "Fear of vulnerability" it is.
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gayofthefae · 14 hours
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#I’m laughing but this is literally such a SMALL exaggeration oml#I love Byler#also this made me think of every season:#s1 Mike to El: you can stay with me :)#s1 Mike to Will: I literally need you or I go insane#s2 Mike to El: I tried to reach you for so long#s2 Mike to Will: meeting you is the best thing I’ve ever done#s3 Mike to El: here have some M&Ms you look cool btw#s3 Mike to Will: screaming crying throwing up biking in the rain I need you back
Mike flirting with El: Pizza box goggles! Vomit green socks! :D (this is cute don't get me wrong)
Mike flirting with Will: You're the love of my life
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gayofthefae · 14 hours
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buck & eddie, have you heard of personal space?
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gayofthefae · 14 hours
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You don't repeat something in writing unless it brings some sort of new information to the pattern. Thinking about Mike's subtle description changes in his brainstorming a solution.
"Maybe I should have said something, and if I would have said that thing, she would want me there with her, wherever she is."
"I should have explained myself. Maybe Eleven would have taken me with her and things would be different, but I don't know, I didn't know what to say."
Did you see it? I'll say it again: "said something". "explained myself".
He's progressing. He's moved on from the idea of him saying it being on the table. He should have explained himself. He doesn't know WHAT, which he states. He expresses that he wishes he knew HOW to explain himself. But he's starting to know the answer to one question he didn't before...why.
He goes from "if only I knew" to "if I only I could put it into words". Subtle, but VERY different. Said something. Explained myself.
He should have said he loved her. He should have explained why he couldn't. Those are different wishes he has. If he could go back in time, he would say it. If he could back in time, he would tell her the truth. Those wouldn't have changed if they were synonymous.
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gayofthefae · 14 hours
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Obsessed with the interruption trope as it is used against Mike. It's a big part of the reason we don't know what he's thinking, not just how it's shot in POVs. It's especially used in volume 2, repeatedly cutting him off mid-sentence, because he's finally gotten to the point after build up of being able to talk about it. He's TRYING to tell us, he just keeps getting cut off.
A key example of what would have happened and what is inherently implied by the trope is his apology to Will. "About the last few days-" "You don't have to say anything. I was being a total jerk to El. I deserved it." "No. No, no, no. You didn't deserve anything." The interruption was distinctly and completely wrong and required full correction.
"I just-" "You're scared of losing her" that's probably what he was gonna say and it would make sense and I WOULD have believed but now we don't know for sure, wth
"I guess I just wanted to say that-" "Surf's up, Romeo" we can assume it's what he says later but, oh, wait, no we can't, because that was subject to intervention too. It's the big one:
"El! Can you hear me? El!" "Don't stop, okay? You're the heart. Remember that. You're the heart." Great, thanks a lot, Will. Now we have no idea if he would have said it without you. But...maybe that's...the point.
When left to his own devices, he said none of this. When left to his own devices, he only ever said that Will was different to him than the rest of their friend group and that El was better than him. The implication of other interruptions imply that if left to his own devices, he would have validated the idea that the truth would hurt El.
He never said any of it himself.
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gayofthefae · 14 hours
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The most common misconception about Mike's storyline in season 4, the reason people disregard it, the core of the assumptions about his relationships: Mike said he loves El, he was just scared of losing her
But what did he actually say?
"A fight you can't come back from" "I didn't know what to say"
"It's not fate; it's not destiny. It's just simple dumb luck."
Now what did Will say?
"Sometimes it's just scary to open up like that, to say how you really feel"
"You're scared of losing her"
"Don't stop"
Mike's technically don't fully contradict his later reasoning but when you put it together with the fact that Will's are almost direct quotes, it starts to get suspicious.
Mike didn't tell you he loved El. Will did. Will also told Mike. Check your sources, people.
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gayofthefae · 14 hours
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Lmao Eddie what do u mean you’re a nester? Oh like when you let Buck drive you to see your son the first day you met and he smiled fondly at you from the car? Oh, oh or was it when you all had fathers & son pizza videogame date nights every single weeK for like three years??? Or maybe when Buck saved ur kid from a tsunami and you decided you trusted no one else the way u did him lol so much so you added him to your will as legal guardian above any other of his blood relatives? haha. A nester u say?? Good thing u told us could not have figured it out
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gayofthefae · 15 hours
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Still stuck on "I didn't know what to say". What do you mean? You knew WHAT to say, that was the ONLY thing you knew, you just didn't know how to say it. Unless...that's not what you mean. Unless you mean you didn't know what to say to explain yourself. What to say to make her feel better on one condition, that it wasn't that. Unless you mean you didn't know how to get out of it without making her feel worse knowing that what she wanted you to say was not on the table.
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gayofthefae · 15 hours
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The only times Mike and El are in a scene with Will integrated into it are when they fight. The only times Mike and El are in a scene where they aren't interrupted are the roller rink fight and the van scene.
I'm thinking about that. I'm thinking about the implications of that. How Mike and El's joy is only ever through an unreliable narrator and how Mike and El's pain isn't. How, when left to their devices, Mike and Will's conversations, if left to their own devices, will become so truthful it crosses a line and, one way or another, one of them will have to backpedal and cover their tracks.
How all Mike and El need to do to break or Mike and Will need to do to to get together is be left in a room together too long. How it's inevitable and they're already instinctively moving that way.
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gayofthefae · 15 hours
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Do you ever think about how the van scene for both Mike and Will is an audience payoff/resolution of sorts to all the interruptions they've had as it is the first serious conversation like that they've had that hasn't been interrupted?
The implications of that. The implications that if you let them just keep talking every time it would be a conversation like that.
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gayofthefae · 16 hours
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SZN better start with him sobbing like his mother since he wanna fuck up like her
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gayofthefae · 16 hours
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Another thing about the labels. Sydney is caught on Carmy and what he labels claire; she says this is the most essential thing Carmy needs to decide on. But the conversation is truly reserved for herself, and for a moment, it doesn't matter if they fail or pass the suppression test or the chaos menu; he needs to define the girl who's taking away time from their relationship.
From what Sydney says, girlfriends—a companion, a girl Carmy is close to—should be the one who looks at such a private thing as the menu; it's Carmy's creations, a girl who's part of that process should be a companion. Claire, the friend, sees a part of Carmy reserved for Sydney. Clare sees his vulnerabilities and fears. She's seeing and hearing about his complicated past. He's opening up to someone else, not Sydney, which poses a conflict that Sydney demands to be solved instantly.
We believe that Carmy initially passed the suppression test by correctly identifying Claire as his girlfriend, but the following episode shows that he made the wrong decision in choosing her as his partner.
I wonder if Sydney is aware of how Carmy feels about her. I believe she understands that when he speaks to her, there is a deeper meaning behind his words. For season 3, she deserves clarity in their relationship.
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gayofthefae · 16 hours
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If sydcarmy has no fans then I am DEAD and BURIED ⚰️
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gayofthefae · 16 hours
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If sydcarmy has no fans then I am DEAD and BURIED ⚰️
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gayofthefae · 16 hours
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Just saw an ad for hulu where they edited clips of the Bear together. The whole thing was just different characters saying "hi" but the start of it was two separate clips of the Bear edited together of Sydney and Carmy saying hi all cute and coy and they made it look very flirty/romantic even though the clips were her nervous on her first day and him bumping into Claire, they 100% made it look like they were talking to each other anyways Netflix official accounts aren't the only silly shippers hulu does it too apparently.
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gayofthefae · 2 days
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This. It isn't that he didn't say it. It's that he got DEFENSIVE. He wanted to stop talking about that as soon as possible so he could avoid exposing the reason.
Like he resonated with later, because the reason would hurt her and jeopardize him. The desperation to avoid it is extreme for someone who's just afraid of commitment.
If your reasoning for something is you're afraid to lose someone and you prioritize that over literally losing them in real time, You've created a paradox and you're being suspicious.
You're gonna sit there and tell me that Mike had feelings for El, yet when El was crying for reassurance that Mike loved her--
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He couldn't have gotten the fck up and went over to comfort her??
Like this????
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This is where the "he couldn't say ily because he was afraid If he said it-" yadda, yadda, yadda, falls apart.
Even if he couldn't say the words aloud, we have seen that he is able to show his affection and love through physical touch.
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(Which did wonders for Will feeling cared for and supported, btw)
Also, even if he couldn't say the words "I love you", he could have spoken softly to her, gently reassuring her of how she was special to him.
Like tbis???
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Singling her out from the rest and assuring her his feelings haven't changed and home isn't home without her??
There are so many ways that conversation could've gone to make E feel loved, even if he couldn't say it. We know Mike is capable of showing it.
But he did not use his love language with El. He wouldn't even go near her to hold hands or even put an arm around her, nor did he try to say he missed her or that they were a team.
TL;DR: Mike Wheeler, I know what you are.
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gayofthefae · 2 days
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would it be enough if i could never give you peace?
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