triple posti ng ? embarassing but anyway freakt werewolf wip i spent 4 hours trying to get right
this episode was fucking sick but this scene jn particular stuck with me i had to draw it even if my artist abilities are not that advanced yet, i dont think i did a terrible job tho (thanks to some friends for the help)
Been thinking a lot about how Fabian uses the word triggering. He uses it in reference to the sexy rat, to the term 'turncoat', and (i believe) about Chungledown Bim
And he says it like a joke, right? Like the point is that Lou is making a joke because haha a sexy rat and a mirror abandoning Fabian and a funny-named gnome that wants to shit in his mouth are all funny concepts so why shoudn't it be funny that they're traumatizing
Except, I think Fabian is using that term earnestly. I think he is genuinely upset by how a sexy rat wanted to violate him in the nightmare forest and that in order for him to progress he had to lay down and give coerced consent to it
I think he is deeply hurt by people he loves leaving him. Sure, this time it's a mirror being a 'turncoat', but it's also his mom going on vacation with Gilear. And thinking about how Fabian interacts with Cathilda, treats her like a parent and a caregiver, you have to think that his dad was at the very least emotionally unavailable (if not physically so) and we all know about his mom's sensory deprivation egg
I think Chungledown Bim terrifies him in ways he can't articulate. The representation of how he's fallen short of his father's legacy persuing him endlessly. Being given spells and wealth and access by his devil father. Tracking him down to degrade him in an extremely visceral way
Fabian says that things are triggering with a smile on his face and a laugh in his voice. He's learned that saying the uncomfortable thing means money being thrown at a problem. He's learned that you're supposed to distance yourself from your feelings, to self-medicate
He doesn't have the skills or the practice to tell his friends in all seriousness that the things they say bother him. Remind him of his hardest days - in Leviathan, the Nightmare Forest, the Red Waste
And the part that hurts the most is that if he had this earnest conversation, his friends would be there. They'd respect him. Maybe help him unlearn some of the lessons that have shaped this ineffective request for help in the first place
But he doesn't ask and he says it as a joke and they hear it as a joke and nobody heals
the complex relationship between a god and her lone prophet
anne carson’s translation of euripides // fantasy high junior year // i’m your man by mitski // unknown // the death of cassandra from the iliad // unknown // you’ve always been more of a dog person by t. das