I am not revamping, or continuing this blog. It is a nice blog though, so I’m keeping it (unlike that absolute smelly garbage with 3k followers I deleted just now).
I know a lot, probably more than half, of the people watching whis blog came from that other infamous blog. It’s not bad, or good, but I’m sorry if destroyed something you liked.
You can find me here: https://nasyatkar.tumblr.com/ now. I might even do a bit more of Die Anstalt occasionally, but no promises.
I learned that ‘popularity’ is not necessarily a good thing, and that I don’t need it to enjoy the creative process, or even the result of it. And ‘good things’ can actually be bad if you look at them from a different perspective, from a different point of view, at a different point in time, so to speak. I can actually think now again. Reflect. Speculate. Intellectualize, even. I didn’t need to take them, you needed me to.
But I suppose it was important for me to go throught this stage in life. I don’t like it, and am, in a sense, ‘disowning’ it, but I still learned things. And that’s what counts. That might be the only thing that counts at the end of the day.
Good luck, and be skillful with the cards Fate dealt you.
Fandom: Die Anstalt - Psychiatrie für misshandelte Kuscheltiere
Title: Notes
Rating: K+
Pairing: Dub/Dr. Wood
Summary: All night, the snow has been powdering the earth and the slanting hospital roof with sui generis crystals of fractal beauty. The first dawning rays seemed to have dulcified the celestial whirling, and the island froze on a fulgent inhale.
Thank you for organising this, Kara. I had a lot of fun as well.
Well, it took a while and some back and forth, but the art swap by kakerlac, groccio and myself has reached full fruition! The overarching theme was “taking wing”. You should be able to tell which ‘section’ was done by who from the content and art style, since - great thing about two thirds of us - we’re all pretty distinctive. But here’s a reference guide anyway for those who do need it:
The intersecting word for this fanmix is “friend”.
Intro. Dead Can Dance – In the Kingdom of the Blind the One-Eyed Are Kings
If it were within, within our power
Beyond the reach of slavish pride
To no longer harbour grievances
Behind the mask's opportunist's facade
We could welcome responsibility
Like a long lost friend
And reestablish laughter
In the dolls house once again
For time has imprisoned us in the order of our years
In the discipline of our ways
And in the passing of momentary stillness
We can see our chaos in motion, our chaos in motion
We can see our chaos in motion
View our chaos in motion
1. The Chameleons – Is It Any Wonder
I could feel the madness there
But I couldn't see the streets for the houses
And all the lies and fantasies
Were suddenly malicious and dangerous
For every passing day you put me through
What have I done to you?
Is it any wonder that I never close my eyes?
<...>
If that's what's waiting for me on the ground
I hope I never come down
Is it any wonder that I never close my eyes?
Here in this lullaby
We'll leave them all behind
Thoughtlessly wasting time
We'll be gone in the blink of an eye
Is this really where the story ends
For all those so called friends
Is it any wonder that they think I've lost my mind?
If that's what they think then fine
We'll leave them all behind
Is it any wonder?
We'll leave them all behind
Hearing these words of mine
2. The Sisters Of Mercy – I Was Wrong
You say stay and never leave
You say meant for ever
I could believe you, but I don't
You say we're almost all alone together
All alone
You say
You say you will
I know you won't
I was wrong
I was wrong to ever doubt
I can get along without
I can love my fellow man
But I'm damned if I'll love yours
In a bar that's always closing
In a world where people shout
I don't wanna talk this over
I don't wanna talk it out
I was quite impressed until I hit the floor
Isn't that what friends are for?
Pain looks great on other people
That's what they're for
3. Pulp – Like A Friend
Don't bother saying you're sorry
Why don't you come in
<...>
Every time I get no further
How long has it been?
Come on in now, wipe your feet on my dreams
You take up my time
Like some cheap magazine
When I could have been learning something
Well, you know what I mean
I've done this before
And I will do it again
Come on and kill me baby
While you smile like a friend
Oh and I'll come running
Just to do it again
You are the last drink I never should have drunk
You are the body hidden in the trunk
You are the habit I can't seem to kick
You are my secrets on the front page every week
You are the car I never should have bought
You are the dream I never should have caught
You are the cut that makes me hide my face
You are the party that makes me feel my age
Like a car crash I can see but I just can't avoid
Like a plane I've been told I never should board
Like a film that's so bad but I've got to stay till the end
Let me tell you now: it's lucky for you that we're friends
4. Curve – You Don't Know
I'm sick of you my sickly friend
I used to think on you I could depend
But now I know to my power
The truth of it, the day and the hour
You can trust me
You can trust me
I'm your ally
I'm your albi
I've made a view my tricky friend
There was a time when you and I could pretend
But now I know to my shame
That there's no reason, there's no blame
You don't know your destiny yet
You're too wrapped up in what you think
That's all you want to hear
That's all you want to share
5. Sad Lovers and Giants – German Cars
I’m in love with
German cars
Gliding past me
On the Autobahn
Stainless idols
With silent hearts
Never turning
As we drift apart
Are you a lover or a friend?
Its not easy to pretend
That you
Won’t leave me in the end
Its not easy
The end
It is harder to say goodbye
Than spend the future unsanctified
By the kindness of your empty heart
Kill me softly as we drift apart
<...>
I know
That its been
A little sad
In times
6. The Church – Almost With You
See the chains which bind the men
Can you taste their lonely arrogance
It's always too late
And your face is so cold
They struggled for this opulence
See the suns which blind the men
Burnt away so long before our time
Now their warmth is forgotten and gone
Pretty maids not far behind
Who you trying to get in touch with
I'm almost with you
I can sense it wait for me
I'm almost with you
Is this the taste of victory
I'm almost with you
See the dust which fills your sleep
Does it always feel this chill near the end?
I never dreamed we'd meet here once more
This laugh reserved for a friend
Outro. Аквариум – Мой друг доктор (Aquarium – My Doctor Friend)
Мой друг доктор не знает что со мной
(My doctor friend doesn't know what's wrong with me)
Мой друг доктор не знает что со мной
(My doctor friend doesn't know what's wrong with me)
Я позвонил тебе, сказать что люблю
(I called you to say that I love you)
Лучше б я был глухой и немой
(It would've been better if I were deaf and mute)
Теперь мой друг доктор не знает что делать со мной
(Now my doctor friend doesn't know what to do with me)
Ты читаешь меня, как книгу
(You read me like a book)
Так смотри, что на первом листе
(So look what's on the front page)
Читаешь меня, как книгу
(You read me like a book)
Твое имя на первом листе
(Your name is on the front page)
Мне не стать святым, даже если сам Папа
(I won't become saint even if pope himself)
Растворит меня в святой кислоте
(Dissolves me in sacred acid)
Но мы с тобой одно
(But you and I are one)
И если ты не слышишь меня
(And if you can't hear me)
Наверное, ты на другой частоте
(You are probably on a different frequency)
Все дивятся на Солнце, никто не знает
(Everyone wonders at the Sun, no one knows)
Сядет оно или взойдет
(Whether it sets or rises)
Я стою под твоим балконом
(I stand under your balcony)
Я жду пока он упадет
(And wait for it to fall)
Иногда твоя любовь highway
(Sometimes your love is a highway)
Иногда твоя любовь гололед
(Sometimes your love is a glazed frost)
Я все равно не сверну, я никогда не сверну
(Either way, I won't turn, I will never turn)
И посмотрим, что произойдет
(And we'll see what happens then)
I played The Sims a little because I felt terrible yesterday, and I took some screenshots that I thought you might wanna see. Bertram looks awkward on all of them.
Fandom: Die Anstalt - Psychiatrie für misshandelte Kuscheltiere
Title: To the Birds
Rating: G
Pairing: Dr. Wood/Dub
Summary: Wood plays the role of the red balloon. A chaotic poem of sorts.
I'd like to be alone
Away from your port of stone
But your lighthouse is calling out
You, coming up for air
Have locked on to my distressed flare
Run aground, all hands going down
You are like a submarine
Gliding under me
And you hounded me out, you hounded me down
Though your submarine is out of sight
Still you're haunting me like the harbour lights
Though your submarine is out of sight
Still you're haunting me
I could not lose you
Even if I choose to
Hear your sonar call, under my hull
2. The Church – The View
Relationships can be like water
Deep and shallow the popular bed
Springs to mind my undetected closure
<...>
Oh yeah, oh yeah, it's nice up there
Be a lighthouse, don't block out your view
<...>
Sometimes healthy living should be crushed
Now I search for hours
Rubble kills my fingers looks
I'll only stop when it hurts a lot
My heart is slender, my wooden tambourine's drenched in blues
Redesign your answer
<...>
Take this daring leap
Wake you've been asleep
Go attack your life
The paint is peeling scrape to save what's yours
3. Interpol – The Lighthouse
What do the waves have to say now?
What do the waves have to say?
Now now
Slow down
And let the waves have their way
Now now
Slow
And let the waves have their day
And I warned them
Here I've been living
On roofs made from sin
I put an outward
"Begin, begin"
Here I've been lucid
I'm living within
Inwardly urgent
And sinking again
The lighthouse
4. The Sisters Of Mercy – Dominion
In the heat of the night
In the heat of the day
When I close my eyes
When I look your way
When I meet the fear that lies inside
When I hear you say
In the heat of the moment
Say, say, say
Some day, some day, some day, dominion
Come a time
Some day, some day, some day, dominion
Some say prayers
Some say prayers
I say mine
In the light of the fact
On the lone and level
Sand stretch far away
In the heat of the action
In the settled dust
Hold hold and say
In the meeting of mined
Down in the streets of shame
In the betting of names on gold to rust
In the land of the blind
Be...king, king, king, king
<...>
We serve an old moan in a dry season
A lighthouse keeper in the desert sun
Dreamers of sleepers and white treason
<...>
Turn the gold to chrome
Gift...nothing to lose
Stuck inside of memphis with the mobile home
5. The Drums – Submarine
Throw me in the submarine
And push it into the sea
Let it sink down, down, down
I remember everything
Racing you across the bridge
I was rolling, I was swimming, I was falling
<...>
I did not want to let you go
But I knew I had to
And I remember everything
I even loved your family
All I've ever given you was love
(And your heart has two sides?)
And I can't stick around to lie anymore
I'm laughing that I'm crying
I'm laughing that I'm crying as I sink
Down, down, down
6. Pulp – My Lighthouse
Some laugh at my lighthouse, they say it's just an ivory tower
But I don't mind, because I know
Their envy grows by the hour
See, I have a purpose up here to guide the ships upon their way
All this is mine; it could be yours too
What do you say?
It may seem strange
To talk of love and then lighthouses
It's not strange
To me
Hey
All alone
You and I in our high tower
That's the way
To be
7. Gorillaz – On Melancholy Hill
Well you can’t get what you want
But you can get me
So let’s set up and see
‘Cause you are my medicine
When you’re close to me
When you’re close to me
So call in the submarine
’Round the world we’ll go
Does anybody know?
If we’re looking out on the day
Of another dream
8. Adoro – Leuchtturm
Ich geh mit dir wohin du willst
(I'll go with you to wherever you want)
Auch bis ans Ende dieser Welt
(Also to the end of this world)
Am Meer, am Strand wo Sonne scheint
(On the sea, on the beach where the sun shines)
Will ich mit dir alleine sein
(I want to be alone with you)
Komm, geh mit mir den Leuchtturm rauf
(Come, go up with me to the lighthouse)
Wir koennen die Welt von oben sehn
(We can see the world from above)
Ein U-Boot holt uns dann hier raus
(A submarine fetches us then from here)
<...>
Hey, halt dich fest, das U-boot taucht
(Hey, hold tight, the submarine dives)
Gleich wird die Sonne untergehn
(Same as the sun will sink)
Ich glaub wir sind schon ziemlich weit
(I believe we are already rather far)
Ich kann den Leuchtturm nicht mehr sehn
(I cannot see the lighthouse anymore)