Do you think I could be loved the way I want to be? Maybe I could start praying and giving myself to god maybe that’s the delusion that could help and change me praying to someone that could never actually answer but taking scripture and engraving it into my brain to guide me to some greater good and placing my hands together and yelling to a being that I’m supposed to feel in my soul and search for some answer based off of what god sees as appropriate and good maybe that’s what I need something I just put together myself instead of forcing people to love and listen to me