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gyspymom76 · 3 years
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What is my gift? Is it writing? Is it helping others in some way? I don't know but I want to find out so I can use it to help in some way, help others and myself. I like helping others, encouraging people that are sad or down or need someone to listen. I'm not really that good at listening, more talking, but at times I am able to listen. One thing is depression and suicide. I know what it's like to have depression, sometimes just blue that I have no friends, to feeling like I'm in a deep dark hole I'll never get out of and wishing I never existed. Yes I've been there. It is hard for me to be around others. Yes I come off as friendly and talkative and fun, but it's hard to be sociable and keep it up. I feel depressed sometimes all the time. It's not because of what I don't have, it has nothing to do with what you do or don't have. It's an imbalance of chemicals in the brain and it SUCKS...but thankfully I'm too scared to try to actually kill or harm myself. Yep, too chicken to cut myself or jump off something and one thing because I'm scared of heights but also scared of landing and feeling that physical pain even if it's not long-lasting. Not to mention that I do have people that would Miss me. I often thought NoOne would notice if I were gone, just disappeared. I know because life is hard, Soo freaking hard and so unbearable at times and even sometimes for those that are beautiful and rich and seem to ha e everything, and no I'm not one of those people. It just goes to show you that depression doesn't care who you are or what you have. But still, I think I'd rather be a rich depressed person lol, alone on a tropical beach or a yacht. Nothing makes it go away but some things can make it tolerable or make your life better.. meditating, eating, saying positive affirmations, dancing, singing, rocking in a chair or swinging, coloring, listening to music..for some it's art it a craft. I love babies and it's one of the things I can do that makes me genuinely happy, to be around sweet innocent babies or kids. My own childhood kinda sucked and my own child hasn't been easy and not that ideal child you imagine having.
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gyspymom76 · 3 years
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Should I stay
Or should I go
My thoughts are slow
Decisions won't flow
Can't decide
What to do
Which way to go
Over or through
In between
Or all around
Should I swim
Or should I drown
So confused
What to do
What to do
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gyspymom76 · 3 years
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Sometimes we dread
Seeing people we know
They come in and disrupt
Our lives and then go
Back out the way they came
Making our life hell
Leaving a mark
Like a fucked up spell
Keeping you hooked
When you wanna go
Trying to figure it out
But the progress is slow
Makes it hard to move on
When they keeping playing games
All you want is for shit to go back to sane
The person you were
Before they came along
And messed with your head
And POOF they are gone
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gyspymom76 · 3 years
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Why are people such assholes? I mean I know we all can be but damn to be nice and talk one minute and then ghost the next is fucked up 🙄 to be on someone's fb and watch them all the time yet ignore their messages..I mean..wtf
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gyspymom76 · 3 years
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gyspymom76 · 3 years
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gyspymom76 · 3 years
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gyspymom76 · 3 years
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gyspymom76 · 3 years
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Just laying here listening to Post Malone Circles..I love this and Sunflower and Blinding Lights the weeknd..music can just transcend us to another place....
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gyspymom76 · 3 years
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Music..all kinds
Food.. chocolate and sweets
Cats
Walking
Driving and exploring
Museums
Books, movies, tv
True crime and fantasy and fiction
Nora roberts, Harry potter, Belva Plain, preston&child's, james patterson..all kinds
Stephen king movies, Outlander, xfiles, schitts creek, gilmore girls, history, ancient aliens, Discovery of Witches, the Resident, Good Doctor, Supernatural...etc
The beach, the mountains
Snow and rain and storms
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gyspymom76 · 3 years
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Things To Be Grateful For:
A home and Food
A family and friends
Being a mom and a wife and a sister
Having money and a Job
A car
Indoor plumbing and major appliances
My pets
Internet, tv, movies
Books and music
Snow and all seasons
The beach and seashells and the water
Freedom, Democracy, Rights
Being able to See, Talk, walk, hear
Laughter and tears
Emotions
Love Hope Joy Patience youtube
Counseling
Baby Yoda
Alcohol, chocolate
Having choice's
Second chances
Roller coasters
Harry Potter books
Dancing and singing
Comfortable clothing
Take out
Drive up service
Sleep
Dreams
Tarot
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gyspymom76 · 3 years
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I Love music..ALL kinds of music..you name it..well except opera maybe unless you count Queen. I used to not be so open to music, but being around so many different people who always seemed to like stuff I didn't like..also getting older Ive found I started liking stuff I never did before..like Fleetwood Mac..idk why since their music is great and Stevie Nicks too..my playlists are wild and all over the place going from pop to country to trance to bluegrass to hip-hop to dance to folk... but I think it depends on a person's mood and what they feel like in that moment..and music just can really touch your soul..like John Lennon or U2 or Kenny Chesney..whatever it is..everyone is different...
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gyspymom76 · 3 years
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Sitting here waiting for my grocery order in this glum weather..looks like I'm not the only one..Everytime I go out and see all the people, I think does no one work anymore??
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gyspymom76 · 3 years
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The fairies come out to play at night
Under the light of the moon,
They gather a circle and dance around,
Wings alight and without sound,
We see them fly by
On wings of gold,
Singing of legends of long ago
Of humans and fairies and Love you see
What once was forbidden for them to Be
So watch where your step
Lest you land on a hill
Full of fairies playing tricks
For their own devilish thrill
They'll not think twice
To put you under Spell
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gyspymom76 · 3 years
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I've just started watching Outlander in the last few weeks and it is really good. Makes me think about my own Scottish heritage alot. It's funny how much the main character looks alot like Tom Brady..they're both gorgeous men. I would Love to visit Scotland and Ireland..but I'm afraid to fly so I'll probably never see all the beauty of it's green fields and the castle ruins and the water and the people..I won't be trying haggis anytime soon. I love the accent and the mysticism..
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gyspymom76 · 3 years
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Sphynx..we finally got a hairless cat and I used to think they were ugly but now I think she is the most beautiful awesome cat ever..they will actually snuggle up with you all night..she loves to jump on my back anytime she's near and I bend over to do anything. It's funny and weird but something I guess they like to do and I don't mind except her claws hurt
#sphynxcat
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gyspymom76 · 3 years
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I used to be so down and negative, but then someone got me into positive affirmations and just being Grateful and it has really really helped..I still do have down days because depression doesn't go away..and it doesn't matter about having alot to be Thankful for..it's there..makes you feel sad, alone, tired, unmotivated..so many things
#depression
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