hatelived-blog - Tumblr blog

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hate myself but this blog might be reconstructed into a gu jun-pyo rp blog bc im trash for boys over flowers who’s with me!

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i’ll come back to this blog someday

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grab his hair, pull his head back and whisper to him how good he is

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this is the only good screenshot of danny in his uniform and it’s safe to say that i am gay for One (1) DPD Officer.

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if im not too late?? KISS O BISH

you  never  know  how  you  end  up  here.   just  that  you  always do.  

what  is  to  be  made  sense  of  when  they  pull  you  in  by  the  hand,   kiss  your  wrist  until  you  forget  what  pain  feels  like,  what  you  have  known  your  whole  life,  in  a  matter  of  seconds ?  is  that  why  you  so  willingly let  yourself  be  dragged down  into  them,  legs  crossing  over  theirs  as  you  mount  holiness  ?   is  that  why  you  were  so  quick  to  pray  with  your  lips  upon  theirs  ?   for  a  chance  at   cheap   relief  ?   with  your  hands  in  their  hair,  with  your   neck  in  their  hands,  you  don’t  look  too  sane  when  you  act  like  this.  but  what  is  composure  in  the   heat   of  the  moment  &  what  is soundness  when  they are  your  clarity  ?

inquisitive  words,  the  ones  of  velvet  finish  slither  into  your  ear,  curious  of  your  intentions, or  rather  what  fuels  you  in  your  chase   &   your  tongue’s  route  over  pale  neck.  the  hover  of  lips,  hot  breath  mixing  with  theirs  in  an  act  of  coming  up  for  air.    ❝                    shut  up.     ❞   the  harsh,   desperate   roll  of  hips  downward,  the  chase  of  friction’s  heat  in  your  joined  laps;  beckoned  by  the  fingers  pulling  at   belt’s  buckle.  you  forcefully  take  hands  in  your  own,  bringing  them  below  the  curve  of  your  spine.  touch  me  &  make  me  forget  like  you  always  do.  gnashing  teeth  hide  behind  your  lips  that  just  barely  conceal  your  hunger,  begging,  no,  demanding  to  be  devoured.    ❝    just   fuck   me.    ❞   

and  you  unravel.  the  way  they  taught  you.

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my favorite thing about watching svu is like. watching my fc’s character completely curve any and all women hitting on him. like he’s deadass the blinking man gif

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:eyes emoji:

         it’s  when  pointless  laughter  ceases,  thins  like  the  distance  between  faces  with  the  passage  of  intimate  seconds;   too  close  for  comfort,  too  far  to  taste;  you  demand  a  better  look  &  amongst  quiet,  empty  streets  and  in  your  lightly  inebriated  state  you  find  boldness.    ❝       hey …   c’mere  …     ❞     playful  demand  met  with  futile  resistance  on  the  other’s  end,   mischievous smile  cuts  through  the  shadows  you  hide  behind,  where  streetlights  don’t  shine,  in  your  attempt  to  blame  this  on  pure  inebriation.  

         the  chatter  of  the  bar  isn’t  there  for  you  to  take  refuge in,  just  the  buzzing  in  your  head;    thumb rests  upon chin,  commanding  the  part  of  other’s  lips.   profound  inhale  hollows  calloused  cheeks,  freshly  lit  cigarette  writhing  between  your  teeth  before  it’s  yanked  it  out  of  the  way.  you  hold  smoke  above  your  tongue,  you  bring  his  mouth  to  yours  &   only  when  lips  touch  do  you  let  nicotine   spill  from  your  lips, past  into  him.  the  tilt  of  head,  beckoning  push  of  chin  to  guide  the  other;  you  pretend  not  to  notice  how  he  breathes   you  in,  how  he   returns  the  favor  with  steady  stream  of  air, filtered  through  the  lungs  you know  are  filled  with roses.  lopsided smile persists,  the  swipe  of  tongue  to  wet  drying  mouth,  you  taunt  him  to  finish  what  you  started,  to  wonder  what  you  are  more  addicted  to,  and  to  choose  carefully.

FIRST  FIVE  IN  MY  INBOX   GET  KISSES. no  longer  accepting.    /    @missionmade

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no offense but this song ? core mateo

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FIRST FIVE ASKS GET A KISS

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hcs  +   self  -  destruction  :

mateo’s  supposed  to  be  on  anti - depressants  but  hasn’t  taken  them  in  years.  he picks up the prescription so his sister, reina, doesn’t get on his ass about it,  but  since  moving out of her apartment, he doesn’t even bother anymore. only reason he was ever on them is because reina insisted he see a shrink after his relationship after his divorce failed. he went to one appointment and left a mess. he didn’t like how vulnerable he felt, how  cut  open  he was, and refused to ever go back despite said therapist’s major concerns. 

mateo’s  an  avid   cigarette  smoker  post  -  divorce.  not  a  pack  a  day  type,  but  maybe two,  three,  or  four  if  the  day  has  brought  a  lot  of  hardship.  he’s  got  a  metal,  flint  &  wheel  lighter  that  he  flicks  on  and  off  when  he’s  nervous  /  dissociating  &   you’ll  typically  catch  him  taking  a  drag  while  on  break  or  outside his apartment  building.  he  vowed never to go near nicotine after his daughter was born to be a good example ,  but after he lost her in the custody battle, it became one of his vices.  he figures if he dies early he’d be doing the world, and his family, a favor so yeah.  tell him how those little cylinders’ll kill him but don’t wait for him to disagree.

mateo’s  not  an  alcoholic  but  does  have  his  nights  where  he  has  too  much.  he  only ever resorts to hard liquor if a case has taken a particularly huge toll on him, say a bad  one where he comes back to the station covered in blood  and  leaves  just  the same.  probably rolls up  to  the  bar  the  same  way,  just  with  washed  hands  and  face.  

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          ❝    ‘ never  seen  you  flip  someone  off  before.     ❞     words  meld  with  nicotine  exhale   &   true  new  yorker  shines  through  one  of  detroit’s   finest,  accent   rounding  sullen  vowels  between  colleague’s  frustrated  &  futile  attempts  to  light.                    though  typically  a   reminder  that  they  come  from  different  places,   preceding  events  have  made  him  consider  otherwise.    the  flick  of  thumb,  sparking  steady  flame  as  he  holds  it   at   other’s   lips;    one  of  many  unspoken  acts  carved  surface -  deep  in  cordiality   .     ❝    ‘f  i  didn’t  know  any  better  i’d  say  you  were  coming  for  my  gig.     ❞     /    @missionmade  

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i should really stop referring to mateo as mateo since he goes by james but like i’m his mother and i can do what i want

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   WHY  DON’T  YOU  SMILE   ?       MY  TEETH  WOULD  GET  COLD.   

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henlo  new  tags