heirofazure

[heirofazure]

[heirofazure]

Thrawn - Athena

wisdom - warfare - handicraft

[heirofazure]

“I fail to see how you came to that conclusion in the first place-”

“Fuck stars.”

[heirofazure]

The Chimaera Officer's Club- 2

Summary: The ISD Chimaera's crew is granted liberty (shore-time leave) on Coruscant while the ship undergoes routine inspections. When Commodore Thrawn decides to join First Officer Faro and Lieutenant Commander Vanto for a wild night out, they realize they have no idea what they've gotten themselves into. Will this be the end of their careers or a night to remember?

Part 1

Eli Vanto knew deep down that Thrawn was not joining this outing merely for leisure. Did he even understand what having a good time meant to the average person?

It had been a long time since the Commodore had done anything tactical without consulting with Vanto first, but since when did he ever go out just to go out? Never. And as much as Vanto wanted to pester him for more information, he wouldn’t let Karyn Faro’s night be spoiled by interrogating Thrawn for further details. There also existed a possibility he was overanalyzing all of this.

Extracting himself from his thoughts, he took in the cityscape of Coruscant from where he stood on the Imperial Navy Yard retrieval pad. Flashing lights and vehicles zipping through the controlled chaos made the ecumenopolis look less like a planet and more like the galaxy itself, with billions of lives merely existing as the stars around them. He glanced to his left and saw Faro observing the view just as he had been, lost in the enormity of it all. 

For the first time in weeks, she appeared less of an imperial officer and more like a civilian. A pearlescent dress framed her figure tastefully, the semi-translucent sleeves reaching her wrists. Her legs, usually covered by Imperial-issue trousers, were toned and well-defined under shimmering layers of fabric. Faro’s matching low heels only heightened their definition, and Vanto was already calculating the amount of people who would be approaching her to see if they had a chance.

If they only knew they never would. 

She met his gaze and smiled as she said, “You know Thrawn’s presence is going to limit the free drinks, right? People will think we’re a threesome of sorts.”

Vanto chuckled, “Yes, but considering how generous he is when it comes to this kind of stuff, we should be fine.” Faro looked at him with a small amount of uncertainty. In return, he gave her a reassuring smile. He knew she would come around eventually. Thrawn always encouraged morale-building activities on the Chimaera, even if he had to pull from his own pay, which was usually the case. This would be no exception.

“So, you’re saying it’s okay for us to look like a threesome? You wild space folk really are different,” Faro said with sly look, and then pretended to look scandalized. “I could have sworn you didn’t partake in such activities.” 

Vanto blushed as he realized what she was insinuating. He was about to retort when he noticed movement in his peripheral vision. Looking over, he saw Thrawn walking towards them, his leisurely gait making the hairs on Vanto’s neck rise. He felt himself freeze in place as the realization hit him that he was right. 

Something was off.  

Thrawn was not wearing his usual green shades to shield the glow of his red eyes. Instead of donning a cloak to conceal himself, he had opted for gray trousers and a white long-sleeved dress shirt. A moss-green scarf was elegantly draped around his shoulders, and as he approached, Vanto swore he smelled an earthy fragrance emanating from the Chiss’ clothing. Oh, he was definitely up to something.

Thrawn smiled, almost as if he had deduced Vanto’s alarm bells were ringing. He paused when he reached them and his eyes immediately darted to Faro. As he appraised her appearance, he broke the silence, “Commander, you look lovely tonight. Are your adornments and garment from your home planet?”

Faro smiled tersely as she said, “Yes, sir. It’s quite nice to be dressed in this after being in uniform for weeks on end. I almost feel naked.” She paused, pink staining her cheeks at the mention of nudity in front of the Commodore.

Thrawn smirked, arching his eyebrows. “Fear not, Commander. Speak freely and enjoy your evening,” he assured her. “If you are propositioned by an individual, and desire to be in a true state of almost-disrobement, Vanto and I will ensure that you are coherent to make a clear decision regarding consent.”

If Vanto could have choked on air, he would have.

“Ah…thank you, sir,” Faro replied, appearing somewhat relieved. Vanto was impressed by how Thrawn implied he would not be using tonight as an attempt to hook up with a subordinate, yet he would ensure she stayed safe regardless. 

As if on cue, an air taxi landed in front of them, the droid driver beckoning them in with a wave of its robotic arm. Thrawn approached first to open the rear compartment door for Vanto and Faro, and then slid into the front passenger seat. As Vanto and Faro settled in the rear and the door sealed shut, he observed the setting sun. Behind thousands of supertowers, beams of amber light shined through the partitions. An incredible view to start off a hopefully incredible night, he thought to himself, feeling the air taxi begin its ascent to merge with aerial traffic. As his eyes shifted back to the vehicle, he caught Thrawn’s stare in the passenger rearview mirror. The Chiss’ familiar expression of calm would look normal to an average onlooker, but Vanto caught a hint of edge in his eyes.

The look of a warrior mentally preparing for battle.

Thrawn suddenly averted his gaze, and Vanto prayed that what he had seen was all in his head. Maybe he was nervous and was strategizing how to avoid any embarrassment tonight. Maybe he was regretting coming out at all. Maybe this wasn’t just an outing, but an elaborately schemed excuse to-

Vanto stopped himself from going any farther. This wasn’t the time, and he was probably worked up from weeks in combat. This was his time to finally decompress, and he would force himself to enjoy it, even if Thrawn looked like he knew something they didn’t. Even if the Commodore was in civilian clothing, and had a blaster tucked into a shoulder holster conspicuously hidden beneath his scarf. Yes, absolutely delusional.  

Vanto looked at Faro and watched the strands of her hair rustle around her lovely face as the taxi sped through the congested skies. Thrawn would never ruin this for her- would he?

It didn’t take long for his question to be answered.

Approximately 10 minutes later, their taxi was grounded in the seedy district surrounding the Imperial Navy Yard, smoke rising from its drive engine. Their droid driver swiveled to face Vanto, “Apologies, sir. This issue is not in my programmed repair database, and due to high demand, another taxi won’t be available for the next 82 minutes.” 

Vanto sighed and made eye contact with Faro, who now stood beside Thrawn outside of the downed vehicle. Her expression did little to hide her displeasure. Thrawn, on the other hand, observed their surroundings as if assessing their survival rate. The area was run-down yet bustling with activity. Bright signs illuminated the street, identifying various bars and other nightlife venues. Vanto noted the amount of both lower-ranking enlisted military personnel and navy yard employees in the crowd. Well, at least if they were stuck here, they could save credits on cheaper drinks and still have some fun until they were retrieved.

“Maybe we should find something to do around here,” he said over his shoulder, still observing the droid as it reserved their next transport.

He heard Faro sigh in resignation, “I mean, I guess that’s fine. But where are we supposed to go?”

Vanto turned and walked up to his group, noting that Thrawn was watching a hooded individual saunter in their direction, but returned his gaze to Faro, “There are all sorts of bars and whatnot around here. Maybe we landed here for a reason.” 

“Maybe you did.”

Vanto was startled by the unknown voice, and whipped his head to the side, realizing that the hooded figure had already reached them. They removed their hood, and Vanto’s eyes widened as he took in the beauty of the Twi’lek in front of him. 

Her skin and lekku were leafy green, the rest of her body concealed under a dark cloak. Her full lips only enhanced her breathtaking smile as she said, “I didn’t mean to intrude, but I noticed your predicament and thought to be of some assistance.” Her Corusca-gem hued eyes roved all over Thrawn, and Vanto held back a laugh as he noticed Thrawn doing the same, only in a clinical manner. The Twi’lek’s attempt to check out the Commodore probably went over his head, as most other attempts had in the past.

“Yes, we were on our way to the Tian District until our taxi had a mishap,” he replied, motioning to the downed vehicle. 

The Twi’lek assessed the situation as she said, “Interesting. By the way, my name is Aditria.” She glanced at their trio and tugged part of her cloak to the side, revealing shapely legs and not much else covering her curvaceous body. “Considering the issues with your taxi, how about you join us at our club for some…entertainment?”

Vanto felt his entire face flush, and he was sure his neck had joined the party as well. This was not how he expected this night to commence, and as much as he liked what he saw, he was an officer of the Imperial Navy. He would conduct himself as such. “Respectfully, we- “

“We would be honored to join you until we are retrieved,” Thrawn interrupted, his eyes gleaming with excitement. Vanto’s eyes darted to Thrawn, scrutinizing him to see if he had misunderstood the inuendo. It appeared he hadn’t, as a coy smile met Vanto’s seconds-long assessment. Aditria smirked and swiftly turned, her cloak swishing behind her, “Follow me.”

 Thrawn appeared to heed her instruction until Faro grabbed his sleeve. He stopped and looked back at her. “Yes?”

“Sir,” she whispered, “why would you agree to this?” 

The Chiss winked at her, “Commander, did you not desire to have a good time? Are you shying away from a challenge so early into our adventure?” Oh, he was going there.  

Faro glared up at Thrawn but begrudgingly let go of his sleeve. He gestured with his chin towards Aditria’s direction, and both Vanto and Faro began to trail him. Faro gave Vanto a bewildered stare, and he shrugged in response. He wasn’t sure where this version of Thrawn had crawled out of. However, he was intrigued. 

It wasn’t until they turned the corner and approached their destination that Vanto’s reservations about all of this returned with a vengeance. There was no way Thrawn was going in there. 

Except he was. 

As Aditria approached the building, the automatic doors slid open to reveal pulsing lights, artificial fog, and the kind of activity that would make Vanto’s mother keel over in shock. Faro slowly rotated her face to look at him. Her bulging eyes bore into his own, even with a tight-lipped smile locked in place to avoid gawking. He shook his head in disbelief but continued to follow his superior officer like the loyal aide he was.

There was no kriffing way this was real. Thrawn had led them to a strip club. 

Thrawn is always one step ahead, but why a strip club? Is there more to this situation than meets the eye? Find out what happens on the next update of The Chimaera Officer's Club!

[heirofazure]

What was first just a dream has become a frightening reality for those who may oppose us.

[heirofazure]

Karyn Faro’s POV every day for 10 years

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Wee woo more stupid stuff from tiktok

[heirofazure]

The Chimaera Officer's Club - 1

Summary: The ISD Chimaera's crew is granted liberty (shore-time leave) on Coruscant while the ship undergoes routine inspections. When Commodore Thrawn decides to join First Officer Faro and Lieutenant Commander Vanto for a wild night out, they realize they have no idea what they've gotten themselves into. Will this be the end of their careers or a night to remember?

“Yes, yes, and- wait, yes!” First Officer Karyn Faro exclaimed, slumping into a command chair after docking the monstrosity known as the ISD Chimaera at the Imperial Navy Yard. She would often forget the size of the Imperial Star Destroyer until it needed to be docked, and especially when it needed to be docked on Coruscant. The logistical nightmare of it all had been draining, and even the final anchoring procedure had required surgical precision.

Lieutenant Commander Eli Vanto let out a whistle of amusement while scrolling on his data pad, “Commander Faro, I know you’ve been looking forward to our liberty, but have you even figured out where we’re going out to eat? Unless you plan on eating at the mess hall again…”

Faro looked up at him, a scowl on her face as she said, “Enlighten me, Eli, as to why I need to know where we’re eating when we didn’t even know we had liberty until 15 hours ago?” 

Vanto scoffed. “There is no way you just referred to me by my first name. You really are excited, huh?” he asked, mischief glittering in his eyes. 

“Of course! Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve been out of this bridge, let alone this ship?” said Faro, slowly rising to her feet with lingering exhaustion. She would have to forgo her usual rest period to take advantage of their brief window of freedom. Absolutely nothing would ruin this for her crew. They had needed this reprieve for over seven standard weeks.

She began pacing as she considered their options out loud, “We could have one of those fancy Coruscanti six-course meals, or Umbaran cocktails with small bites. We might even be able to sneak some snacks with us on the way back.” 

Vanto chuckled, entering the search terms for coruscant air taxi and local nightlife into his data pad. It was nice to see Faro excited about anything for a change. For the past few weeks, they had been chasing pirates, recovering stolen goods, and busting would-be smugglers across the galaxy. They had been successful, but Faro was still getting used to Thrawn’s way of doing things, and everyone knew that the Commodore was an acquired taste. Vanto could detect that Faro wasn’t used to placing her blind trust in a senior officer. Considering the amount of backstabbing that occurred within the ranks of the Imperial Navy, he was hesitant to do the same.

But Thrawn was different. They were all still alive because of his resourcefulness. That was rare in a Navy that went through conscripts like there were more being born each day. While other commanding officers treated their subordinates as chopped tipyip that should mindlessly follow orders, Thrawn encouraged discussion and ideas. It was enough to make any new officer somewhat suspicious of his intentions, but Vanto knew better.

“Hey, how about we take an air taxi to the Tian District and see what’s going on over there? There’s a market with intergalactic specialties, whatever that means, and some sort of fancy art fair.” Vanto said, zooming in on the pictures to show Faro.

“Art fair?” 

The voice came from the direction of the turbolifts at the rear of the bridge. Faro and Vanto’s heads snapped in that direction to see Commodore Thrawn heading their way, an eyebrow arched in question as he said, “Commander Vanto, I was not aware this was an appropriate time to consider perusing through art displays.”

Vanto’s face flushed red with embarrassment as he realized he was openly discussing leisure activities, as all other bridge personnel were still doing systems checks. Faro stood at attention, nervously glancing between him and Thrawn.

“My apologies, sir.” He said, his eyes barely able to look at the Chiss’ red ones appraising him, “I was just trying to make sure Commander Faro would have a nice time this evening after all of her hard work.”

Faro stared daggers at him, her expression turning incredulous as she realized he had used her as an excuse. Eli winced, hoping she wouldn’t beat him to a pulp during their tactics training in two days.

Thrawn’s eyes slid to Faro, his gaze softening as he said, “Is everything alright, Commander?” 

Faro swallowed, her eyes still nervously darting between Thrawn and Vanto. “Y-yes, sir. The Chimaera has been successfully docked, and maintenance should be arriving in an hour to commence an exterior inspection of the hull. All personnel have been notified of their liberty allowance period, and shifts have been confirmed to ensure there is no lapse in operations,” she said, the words leaving her mouth at hyperspeed.

Vanto noticed the corners of Thrawn’s mouth quirk slightly as he said, “Very good, Commander. However, I was not inquiring as to the status of the ship, but rather how you are doing?”

Faro’s eyes widened as she nervously shifted from one leg to the other. “I-I’m ah, I am…yes.” she said, stuttering as she attempted to form a reply. Vanto cupped his hand over his mouth and chuckled, not being able to hold back as he watched the most squared away officer in the entire Imperial Navy fumble for words as if she had never answered a question before. Faro glared at him, and her cheeks turned pink as she crossed her arms. Even Thrawn couldn’t help smiling, but he nodded his head towards her and said, “My apologies if I startled you.” 

“Not at all, sir. To be completely honest, I’m not used to superiors even caring about our wellbeing.” Faro said, looking up at him with slight suspicion. Vanto couldn’t suppress the giggle that emanated from his throat, earning him another well-deserved scowl. Oh, he was definitely getting a bruise in 48 hours.

Thrawn glanced at him briefly and cleared his throat. Vanto did his best to lock down his amusement at watching Faro flounder, and said, “Actually, sir, we’re considering using our liberty to head to the Tian District. It’s only about 15 minutes from here via air taxi, and we should be back before the shift change.” He beamed at Faro, who still looked as if she wanted to take his data pad and use it as a projectile.

“That sounds lovely. I recall us visiting that area during our time in the Imperial Academy, Commander Vanto,” Thrawn said. “Would your outing party be able to accommodate an additional member?”

Faro arched an eyebrow, her expression puzzled as she said, “Of course, sir. But who will be joining us?” She most likely assumed it was some sort of minder, and Vanto didn’t blame her for thinking that way. Imperial Security Bureau agents crawled through the city-planet like vermin, surveilling civilians and military personnel alike. Thrawn was probably just trying to make sure they didn’t do anything to jeopardize their careers in one night. 

 As Vanto’s gaze focused on the Commodore, he realized that Thrawn looked taken back by Faro’s response. Now Vanto and Faro had the advantage of watching their commanding officer work through an awkward pause as he searched for the right words to say. Vanto felt his hands get clammy, and he made eye contact with Faro, who looked to be equally as anxious. Who was Thrawn trying to send to tag along with them?

A nervous feeling snaked through Vanto’s stomach as he prayed to whatever Coruscanti gods listening that Thrawn did not force them to take Ensign Sargos Ieni. He was known for his strange behavior, and Vanto was sure that as much as he wanted to be the friendly mentor, he’d probably end up somewhat violated if they took that kid along. And that was only if Faro didn’t dump him in a Navy Yard sewage vat first.

Thrawn looked at the bridge floor. “Actually, I was wondering if I could join you both,” he said, his voice barely more than a murmur. Vanto looked over at Faro, who seemed to be frozen in shock. The Commodore Thrawn wanted to leave the Chimaera for a night of fun and debauchery? A night of excessive spending and questionable shopping choices? Even Vanto was speechless. They both looked at Thrawn, and he glanced at them both, assuming his usual demeanor as he said, “Is that improper?”

Faro opened her mouth to speak but closed it abruptly. Vanto realized he once again had to save the day. “It’s not improper, sir. We’re just surprised you want to tag along. But we’d be delighted if you joined us! It’ll be a great time, isn’t that right, Commander?” he said, gifting Faro a toothy grin while wiggling his eyebrows. The tactician, the analyst, and the enforcer. What could go wrong?

Faro only stared at him, and then glanced around, assessing the slowly emptying bridge as the crew prepared for their liberty period.  She returned her gaze to Thrawn and said, “You’re not a lightweight, right?” 

Vanto felt the floor beneath him vanish, and his jaw dropped in shock. Did Faro just ask their commanding officer if he was a lightweight? This couldn’t be real. Thrawn looked at Faro with a degree of confusion. “Pardon me, Commander, but what does that mean?” he said. He glanced at Vanto. “May you translate?” he asked.

Vanto wanted to make a mad dash for the turbolift, but was pinned to his spot only because he could not bear leaving the area before seeing what came of this. Was he being nosy? Affirmative. Did he care? Negative. Regardless, Faro looked determined to get an answer, and not an ounce of embarrassment radiated from her. Was this her way of testing Thrawn? 

“Of course, sir. Lightweight is…likureesensib,” Vanto said, doing his best to keep a straight face. Thrawn’s eyes flared with shock, and he pivoted to directly face Faro. “Lightweight,” Thrawn said, savoring the word as he pronounced each syllable. “Why exactly is that in question, First Officer?”

Faro sighed, weariness blanketing her features as she realized who she was speaking to. “Sir, we like to have a good time. It’s been seven weeks since I’ve been able to have some semblance of freedom, and I don’t want to have to put a damper on the fun. Or call it a night and return early while dragging you back to the med-bay,” Faro said, her expression somewhat apologetic. “Forgive me if I was too frank, Commodore. I meant no offence.” 

Vanto held his breath as he watched the Commodore’s red eyes narrow while processing his First Officer’s response. For a few tense seconds, Thrawn continued to ponder while his thumb rested under his chin, an arm braced around his abdomen. Faro quickly stole a look at Vanto, panic blooming in her eyes. This was it. Thrawn was about to demonstrate the authority he seldom used, and Faro would be his victim.

Eli opened his mouth to apologize on her behalf when suddenly, Thrawn said, “Who is to say you will not be the one needing anti-inebriation therapy from the medical bay?”

Faro stared at him, dumbfounded. “Excuse me, sir?”

Thrawn lifted his chin, his expression menacing as he said, “I thought I prepared you for tactical situations better than this, Commander. You assume I have the alcohol tolerance of a human, and therefore the weakness of a human liver.” He leaned down towards her, a sinful smile gracing his lips as he said, “You have made a grave mistake, First Officer Faro. To defeat an enemy, you must know them.”

Faro shuddered, now realizing what she was up against. Vanto pitied her, but quickly pressed his lips together to avoid howling with laughter.

Thrawn smiled knowingly at Vanto as he said, “Commander Vanto, arrange for an air taxi to retrieve us in an hour. Let us show Commander Faro a good time.” He began to turn towards the turbolifts when he came to a sudden pause, and angled his face towards Faro. His eyes glowed with anticipation as he said, “Let us discover who the true lightweight is.”

“Yes, sir,” Vanto said, fighting for his life to look down at his datapad and complete the order. This was about to be the night of a lifetime.

Thrawn turned and resumed his walk to the turbolifts, leaving a shellshocked Faro and Vanto to look at one another with the same giddy apprehension.

“Vanto, was that a challenge? Am I going to regret this?” Faro said, still in awe of what had just transpired. Although she wore a tight smile, her voice betrayed her anxiety. She clasped her hands behind her back to avoid Vanto seeing what he presumed was trembling.

Vanto chuckled nervously as he said, “The Chiss do not make idle boasts or promises. We’re so screwed.”

And so, the adventures of The Chimaera Officer’s Club begin! Will the crew get lit or die trying? Find out next time!

Also, I love hearing from readers, so feel free to leave comments or memes! :)

[heirofazure]

I find that highly unlikely.

[heirofazure]

some misc starwars au stuff from last year,, plus thrawn trilogy designs!!

[heirofazure]

Redesign of the Thrawn ita bag that’s currently in the process of being prototyped. :) Long live the Empire!

[heirofazure]

Thrawn’s Musings 2 definitely took place after frame 2…now I just have to write something for the bottom frames.

Night Routine.

[heirofazure]

This edit literally took me tf out. 🤣

loud noises randomly warning . genuinely this is why its taking me so long to get through this fucking audiobook

[heirofazure]

Thank you so much for your feedback, @exponentchunk! Your artwork is fantastic, and your OCs are so unique. Anything regarding Thrass makes me so emotional :')

I hope I see more fics about this topic. It's wild how Timothy Zahn made one slight societal change for his novels, and now we're all like "...pause."

Thrawn’s Musings: 2

A Mother’s Sacrifice

Summary: Sad!Thrawn shower thoughts. I wanted to explore what a Chiss mother’s lullaby would be like considering their culture of rematching to new families. Are they conditioned from childhood that one's birth family may not always be there? Is it taboo to speak of one's past if rematched to a new family? Do Chiss keep in contact with their former/birth relatives if they are rematched? Does a birth family only refer to one by their new name, or a variation of one's core name since it's the one that follows the Chiss for the entirety of their lives? I’d love to see more people exploring this.

Precision, precision, precision was Thrawn’s mantra as beads of sweat streamed down his face and onto the floor of his private sparring gym. Of all the private amenities provided to him as Grand Admiral, this had to be the one he was most thankful for. The vibroblade gripped in his right fist thrummed with energy as he wielded it with brutal efficiency, the blade flashing as it made contact with the Imperial sentry droid’s black plating. He swiftly lifted his left forearm to block a rapid punch from the droid, the vibroblade’s hilt dragging along his chest and plunging forward into the droid’s alloy abdomen. Energy crackled along the plating and caused the droid to seize, granting Thrawn mere seconds to catch his breath. Fatigue was beginning to take over, and when he glanced at the crono on the wall, he realized he had been sparring for over 30 minutes. If he continued, his form would become sloppy.

Absolutely unacceptable. 

“Override...Code Ruhk,” Thawn said between ragged breaths. The droid immediately shifted into attention stance and powered down, Thrawn’s reflection becoming clearer in the sudden darkness now occupying its dimming red eyes. He swallowed as he took in his appearance, noting his own red eyes hooded with exhaustion, and his blue skin a shade paler than usual. 

His reflection was the only Chiss he’d laid eyes upon in the years since he’d entered Imperial service. It had never bothered him before, but for the past few months, it had begun to weigh on his mind. A reunion with Admiral Ar’alani was anticipated in the future due to unusual events occurring within the borders of the Empire, but it had yet to come to fruition. Had he even spoken a word of Cheunh in the past standard year? A hollow feeling began to expand in his chest. His exercising garments, now saturated with perspiration, felt too tight as the sensation spread throughout his entire body.

Melancholy. A feeling he was never fond of but currently permeating every fiber of his being. He shook his head and exited the sparring gym. Light followed his movement as motion sensors tracked his path from the gym to his shower. The thought of warm water and soap washing away the sticky sensation he felt all over brought a smile to his face. Surely that would make him feel better. He strode into his refresher, settling on the fact that of all his private amenities, his spacious shower ranked second. He began humming as he removed his garments and entered the stall, stark white lights illuminating the space. Soaps from distant planets housed in a variety of containers lined the wall, each a unique piece of art that made his cleansing space akin to a private gallery of all his intergalactic travel.

He was still humming a tune as he pressed the buttons to activate the shower, releasing a sigh of satisfaction when steaming water hit his skin from various jets clustered along the ceiling and walls. However, as the realization of what he was humming began to process through his mind, the smile that was plastered across his face slowly shrank. He pressed his lips together and closed his eyes, tipping his head back as water ran through his hair and cascaded down his back. 

Rentor. His home planet. The melody? His mother’s. He could still hear her voice echoing within his mind as he stood under the jets, his humming increasing in volume as he remembered the words of the old Chiss lullaby.

Deep in the Chaos,

Far, far away. 

Cold unforgiving,

Our Ascendancy brave.

Resilient hearts,

Traditions of old. 

Fortune be with you,

Warrior soul.

Thrawn felt the weight of his sadness from the crown of his head to the soles of his feet. He wondered if it was possible that his own reflection made him recall the characteristics he inherited from a woman he never spoke to again after rematching to the Mitth. The woman who gave him life.

Your name may change,

And your life may lead,

Down paths I can’t follow,

To places I won’t be.

He had never reached out to her. Although it was frowned upon, birth family contact had never been explicitly prohibited by the Mitth. As he lathered dzisnir herb soap on a cleansing cloth and began scrubbing his torso, he felt the reason for his choice rise from the depths of his mind. There was no question about the pain this topic held in his birth home. 

Vurika’s disappearance. Being an inquisitive child, a young Vurawn constantly asked about his older sister after she vanished. There were never clear answers from his parents, although he would catch a pained look sweep across his mother’s face if Vurika was so much as mentioned. After countless attempts, he at some point stopped asking. However, he always ruminated on it, hoping to solve the reason for her disappearance as easily as a tactical dilemma.

Oh, how naïve he was.

As the years passed, Thrawn did his best to excel in his studies and remain obedient to his parent’s wishes, if only to not be the next child that disappeared. In hindsight, he realized his parents could have never revealed such sensitive information as to Vurika’s whereabouts, even if they had wanted to. 

Even if the silence hurt them as much as it hurt him. Even if he had vanished as well.

But you, my dear child,

Remember in your heart,

That if I live in your memory,

We’ll never be apart.

As he rinsed off the last of the soap, Thrawn felt his throat tighten with raw emotion. His mother had not lost just one child, but both her children to the needs of the Ascendency. More so, his passion for art stemmed from her influence. The fondest of his childhood memories were those seated next to her easel, watching her blend colors and bring to life the faces of children she would never see again. Had she had more children? Had she sung them that lullaby? Had she seen his successes and failures on her Questis news feeds, reading about a son who no longer acknowledged her existence? Was she still alive? 

There was no way for him to answer these questions now. Unlike everything else in his life, he had never planned for this. 

He had never planned to think of his birth mother, let alone miss her.

He found he couldn’t bring himself to exit the stall as he shut off the water. The light around him seemed too bright, and his breathing was shallow and quick. He closed his eyes for a moment to settle his senses, and was stunned to see his face- her face, peering at him from the earlier reflection in his training droid’s eyes. 

In that moment, a sudden tremor emanating from the core of his being overcame all his logical faculties like a massive explosion; emotions that had been suppressed for survival finally erupting on the surface. He roughly grasped the handlebar along the wall with one hand, and a pitiful whimper escaped his lips. Then another, followed by another. He could feel the tears roll down his face as shudders racked his entire body. He had given everything to the Ascendency, and so had she. 

So had she.

Although I don’t know,

What harms you will face,

My love for you transcends,

Both time and space.

So go far, my child,

And if you seek me,

Within your reflection,

There I will be.

And as Thrawn finally cried for the mother he once had, he allowed himself to wonder if all their sacrifices would be worth it in the end.

Thank you to @stars-n-spice for the Thrawn divider!

[heirofazure]

the bond between a girl and their favorite fictional man is both an unstoppable force and an immovable object

[heirofazure]

Thrawn’s Musings: 2

A Mother’s Sacrifice

Summary: Sad!Thrawn shower thoughts. I wanted to explore what a Chiss mother’s lullaby would be like considering their culture of rematching to new families. Are they conditioned from childhood that one's birth family may not always be there? Is it taboo to speak of one's past if rematched to a new family? Do Chiss keep in contact with their former/birth relatives if they are rematched? Does a birth family only refer to one by their new name, or a variation of one's core name since it's the one that follows the Chiss for the entirety of their lives? I’d love to see more people exploring this.

Precision, precision, precision was Thrawn’s mantra as beads of sweat streamed down his face and onto the floor of his private sparring gym. Of all the private amenities provided to him as Grand Admiral, this had to be the one he was most thankful for. The vibroblade gripped in his right fist thrummed with energy as he wielded it with brutal efficiency, the blade flashing as it made contact with the Imperial sentry droid’s black plating. He swiftly lifted his left forearm to block a rapid punch from the droid, the vibroblade’s hilt dragging along his chest and plunging forward into the droid’s alloy abdomen. Energy crackled along the plating and caused the droid to seize, granting Thrawn mere seconds to catch his breath. Fatigue was beginning to take over, and when he glanced at the crono on the wall, he realized he had been sparring for over 30 minutes. If he continued, his form would become sloppy.

Absolutely unacceptable. 

“Override...Code Ruhk,” Thawn said between ragged breaths. The droid immediately shifted into attention stance and powered down, Thrawn’s reflection becoming clearer in the sudden darkness now occupying its dimming red eyes. He swallowed as he took in his appearance, noting his own red eyes hooded with exhaustion, and his blue skin a shade paler than usual. 

His reflection was the only Chiss he’d laid eyes upon in the years since he’d entered Imperial service. It had never bothered him before, but for the past few months, it had begun to weigh on his mind. A reunion with Admiral Ar’alani was anticipated in the future due to unusual events occurring within the borders of the Empire, but it had yet to come to fruition. Had he even spoken a word of Cheunh in the past standard year? A hollow feeling began to expand in his chest. His exercising garments, now saturated with perspiration, felt too tight as the sensation spread throughout his entire body.

Melancholy. A feeling he was never fond of but currently permeating every fiber of his being. He shook his head and exited the sparring gym. Light followed his movement as motion sensors tracked his path from the gym to his shower. The thought of warm water and soap washing away the sticky sensation he felt all over brought a smile to his face. Surely that would make him feel better. He strode into his refresher, settling on the fact that of all his private amenities, his spacious shower ranked second. He began humming as he removed his garments and entered the stall, stark white lights illuminating the space. Soaps from distant planets housed in a variety of containers lined the wall, each a unique piece of art that made his cleansing space akin to a private gallery of all his intergalactic travel.

He was still humming a tune as he pressed the buttons to activate the shower, releasing a sigh of satisfaction when steaming water hit his skin from various jets clustered along the ceiling and walls. However, as the realization of what he was humming began to process through his mind, the smile that was plastered across his face slowly shrank. He pressed his lips together and closed his eyes, tipping his head back as water ran through his hair and cascaded down his back. 

Rentor. His home planet. The melody? His mother’s. He could still hear her voice echoing within his mind as he stood under the jets, his humming increasing in volume as he remembered the words of the old Chiss lullaby.

Deep in the Chaos,

Far, far away. 

Cold unforgiving,

Our Ascendancy brave.

Resilient hearts,

Traditions of old. 

Fortune be with you,

Warrior soul.

Thrawn felt the weight of his sadness from the crown of his head to the soles of his feet. He wondered if it was possible that his own reflection made him recall the characteristics he inherited from a woman he never spoke to again after rematching to the Mitth. The woman who gave him life.

Your name may change,

And your life may lead,

Down paths I can’t follow,

To places I won’t be.

He had never reached out to her. Although it was frowned upon, birth family contact had never been explicitly prohibited by the Mitth. As he lathered dzisnir herb soap on a cleansing cloth and began scrubbing his torso, he felt the reason for his choice rise from the depths of his mind. There was no question about the pain this topic held in his birth home. 

Vurika’s disappearance. Being an inquisitive child, a young Vurawn constantly asked about his older sister after she vanished. There were never clear answers from his parents, although he would catch a pained look sweep across his mother’s face if Vurika was so much as mentioned. After countless attempts, he at some point stopped asking. However, he always ruminated on it, hoping to solve the reason for her disappearance as easily as a tactical dilemma.

Oh, how naïve he was.

As the years passed, Thrawn did his best to excel in his studies and remain obedient to his parent’s wishes, if only to not be the next child that disappeared. In hindsight, he realized his parents could have never revealed such sensitive information as to Vurika’s whereabouts, even if they had wanted to. 

Even if the silence hurt them as much as it hurt him. Even if he had vanished as well.

But you, my dear child,

Remember in your heart,

That if I live in your memory,

We’ll never be apart.

As he rinsed off the last of the soap, Thrawn felt his throat tighten with raw emotion. His mother had not lost just one child, but both her children to the needs of the Ascendency. More so, his passion for art stemmed from her influence. The fondest of his childhood memories were those seated next to her easel, watching her blend colors and bring to life the faces of children she would never see again. Had she had more children? Had she sung them that lullaby? Had she seen his successes and failures on her Questis news feeds, reading about a son who no longer acknowledged her existence? Was she still alive? 

There was no way for him to answer these questions now. Unlike everything else in his life, he had never planned for this. 

He had never planned to think of his birth mother, let alone miss her.

He found he couldn’t bring himself to exit the stall as he shut off the water. The light around him seemed too bright, and his breathing was shallow and quick. He closed his eyes for a moment to settle his senses, and was stunned to see his face- her face, peering at him from the earlier reflection in his training droid’s eyes. 

In that moment, a sudden tremor emanating from the core of his being overcame all his logical faculties like a massive explosion; emotions that had been suppressed for survival finally erupting on the surface. He roughly grasped the handlebar along the wall with one hand, and a pitiful whimper escaped his lips. Then another, followed by another. He could feel the tears roll down his face as shudders racked his entire body. He had given everything to the Ascendency, and so had she. 

So had she.

Although I don’t know,

What harms you will face,

My love for you transcends,

Both time and space.

So go far, my child,

And if you seek me,

Within your reflection,

There I will be.

And as Thrawn finally cried for the mother he once had, he allowed himself to wonder if all their sacrifices would be worth it in the end.

Thank you to @stars-n-spice for the Thrawn divider!

[heirofazure]

Started reading “Outbound Flight”✨