hello-foncest-trash

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Connor: Why are you sad?

Hank: I don’t know.

Connor: No reason?

Hank: Oh, no, there are plenty of reasons. I’m just not sure which one it is this time.

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Some practice

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The supervillain has finally succeeded in taking down the superhero for good. However, being a lover of recording and filing information, they discover the superhero had a kid, and in a moment of compassion, they decide to adopt the new orphan.

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A group of people have been trapped in a house in the middle of nowhere. They begin to die one by one of various injuries or sudden illness. The narrator is a tad unreliable, but you don’t find out why until the last chapter, which is from the POV of the last surviving character. The character describes a bodiless voice coming at them. The voice is the narrator. The narrator is the killer.

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One of the most popular NPC’s that legit stays in only one place, and says what. Like two words. 

I love him. 

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Explain how you try to calm down a newly turned vampire who was beyond pissed and ready to throw down at the vampire who turned them into a vampire because now they can’t eat their precious garlic bread anymore.

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You are a Patronus who has gained sapience. Describe your adventures.

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You jump off the roof of a skyscraper, your body plunging toward the concrete. But when you expect to hit the concrete, you pass through it. All around you is water and when you look up, you see people walking above you and light. You are the reincarnation of the god of death, and it’s your duty to heal the underworld.

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Hank(to Connor and Nines): You are my children and I love you, but you’re the worst people I ever met.

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You woke up, got dressed. Normal day, if a bit chilly. You put on your jacket and found that the pockets were filled with coarse salt, shiny pennies, and a crumpled up fortune cookie paper that read, “All that you need to conquer today is already with you.” You didn’t think anything of it, but now—oh, now you thank your stars that you didn’t empty your pockets before leaving.

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Hank: It’s weird how Brits say “lift” instead of “elevator”.

Connor: And how Amanda tells me, “you’re a disappointment” instead of “I’m proud of you”.

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Hank(next to a body): So, what happened here?

Connor: Death

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Nines: walks into the dpd

Gavin:

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You are a seventh-year Hogwarts student who’s normally a goody two-shoes, never sassing the professors, always turning schoolwork in on time, never getting detentions or point deductions. But this year, you’ve decided to ditch that and make the most of your Hogwarts experience by fucking shit up. And you’ve got a list that’s three miles long, no doubt. 

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Every time a war breaks out, one person is charged with the sacred duty to hunt down the God of War in his current incarnation and slay him.

In this war, it’s your turn, but there’s one slight problem; you are the one who started the war in the first place.

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Gavin: What if prisons let prisoners take their own mugshots.

Hank:

Gavin: Cellfies.

Hank: I hate you.