helloextremely

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my dealer: got some straight gas. this strain is called “daylight savings time” youll be zonked out of your gourd

Me: yeah whatever. i dont feel shit.

1 hour and 5 minutes later: dude I swear it’s only been 5 minutes

my friend the oven, pacing: the smart devices are lying to us

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9 to 5 / For service and devotion / You would think that I / Would deserve a fat promotion

Requested by anon Music Matters 5/?

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✨ Please reblog the polls to make them reach out to as many people as possible, but KEEP IT SPOILER-FREE to make people listen to the music with an open mind 💖 Artists and titles will be revealed after the poll's conclusion ✨

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fucking. what?

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do yall remember this btw :/ it was such a good look

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tfw yuore insane and you're both girls .. 🤗

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The computer is a machine built for looking at pictures of fish you wouldn't otherwise see. Anything else you can do with a computer was an accident and unintended

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joe biden: how do i look in this chef hat, giuseppe?

giuseppe, the presidential butler: waifish and breedable as always, muy lord

joe biben: fabulous. pass me the Improbable Meat

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I love grindr images like this, they're so awesome sauced

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being knightcore doesn't mean you have to be pro-monarchy. you can just swear your undying fealty to your best friend or your crush or something

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Sex is so gross I’m just gonna keep welding

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When I say editing software is getting dumber, this is what I mean.

In what world is "What dinnered?" more legible than "What happened to dinner?" I just... what?!

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dinosaurs are like the coolest thing possible for a child to learn about. it’s like hey i know you were just borned but giant monsters are real and they fought each other in wars for 100000000000 years and then blew up when the sky exploded.

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May I offer you some messy HarryKims in these trying times?

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No refs today— I die being turned down by a beautiful woman, like Harry.

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Scientists have discovered a bug with a new moveset

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"Wait I didn't hear anything of Heidi Klum's Halloween costume this year, lemme just google tha-"

you know what? nevermind.