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hiceej · 8 months ago

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“You just want to be loved.”

I didn’t realize that until today. God woke me up with a scene that I never thought would make my day.

I was awaken by the loud arguments my mother and brother had. They were both shouting and at the peak of their anger. Mom brought the car key with her to teach my brother a lesson, knowing that he badly needs the car for his project. I ignored it and tried to go back to sleep, thinking that the issue would go down eventually. Not until my brother was throwing tantrums, kicking things, shouting, and saying unpleasant and very disrespectful words to her. Even though my mom already left the house, she called me and told me that I should talk to my brother, convince him to apologize because she will be waiting for him. (She told me not to mention to my brother that she called)

To make the long story short, my brother was so angry because he is tired of the pressure from people around him and thought that no one understands him, even our mom. He said that he is doing good in school, so that our parents could come up on stage with him to give them the recognition he thinks they deserve. (And I told him that I am sorry for putting that kind of pressure to him. I didn’t know that he’ll take it seriously. But regardless, I also told him to disregard what I said, recognized his efforts, and assured him that he is doing great and that is enough). He really needs the car because he will bring the microphones and speaker to the program he is in charge. He thought that she doesn’t care about him. That’s the time I told him that mom’s witing for him.

God showed me His love for us through my mom. He cares for us even though we’ve wronged Him and told Him things that hurt, not recognizing the things He’s done for us because we are blinded by our emotions. He knows that it will cause you pain, but it is more painful for Him to see you destroy yourself. He will discipline you, like a father disciplines his son. And He knows you well and loves you unconditionally like a mother gives her life for you to have yours.

Sometimes, we say things we don’t actually mean. Sometimes, it’s just pent up emotions that surfaced because it overwhelms you and it cannot anymore be caintained. According to the book of Luke 6:45, “Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.” We utter words that longs to be acknowledged but forced to keep it to ourselves, because we don’t want to add up to the burdens of other people. We tend to say hurtful things, because we too are in pain and all we want is to be held. Like my mother, she knows what you need and she wants to teach you a lesson. And after everything you’ve done, she loves you and will still be waiting.

Sometimes God will let you experience things that will hurt you to show you how much you are loved, to make you realize that you are not alone, and let you experience His love through other people, especially the ones you love.

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