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In KimKenta's "what do you even see me as" scene, I think a more accurate translation of Kenta's reply would be "well what are you". In other words, he's not asking what he is to Kim, but what Kim thinks he is to Kenta.

Kenta does not use a pronoun, but simply repeats the bpen arai. Also, I doubt Kim would call Kenta an assistant, but he would certainly call himself one as he has been assisting Kenta all along.

So Kenta's effectively saying well what are you supposed to be to me then, you tell me, you're going to Korea soon but also being so fucking nice to me and taking care of me and being my partner and having my back so YOU TELL ME! And Kim does, of course, and adds I could be this too. If you'll let me. Will you let me?

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HEY!!! Let’s talk about circumstantial conditioning and the downright PHENOMENAL storytelling and social commentary of Jack & Joker!!!! 😃😃😃

Some of the overarching themes of this series have been most obviously, generational and institutionalized poverty and the oppressive power dynamics of that. The fact that the black and white morality of the mainstream is a luxury reserved for those who can afford it. Jack, Save, and Tattoo are all acting exactly how they have been conditioned to act by their circumstances, the people manipulating them, and who they are as people.

Boss has been grooming and curating his people for decades at this point. He collects capable, intelligent people that he can condition to be useful and easy to control. He scouts talent early, evidenced by his early interest in Jack (and now Save). He targets them and he manipulates their circumstances to trap them into indenture. Both Thai culture and the realities of poverty force them to treat him as their benefactor because despite his self serving motivation and slimy tactics, he is.

And there really is no practical point from Jack’s perspective to explore why Boss is “helping” him and the others. They depend on him to survive, the why is irrelevant. Troublemakers get killed. Or worse. Honestly, Tattoo’s famous screw you attitude is probably part of why he’s struggling more than some of the others. In a system like this unless you keep your head down, you follow the rules and you know your fucking place, you’re not gonna survive and the people in power will make your life harder to get you back in line and if you continue to be a problem for them, they’ll just get rid of you altogether. I am convinced that Hoy is the only reason Tattoo hasn’t gotten himself killed by now.

Save is in the same position as Jack was 5 years ago. We didn’t get a front row seat to Jack’s initiation as an enforcer. We don’t know what Boss made him do or how he made him do it. Sure, 5 years later he’s helping debtors with his own funds but when he started out he had no resources. He was exactly like Save; young, desperate, vulnerable and isolated. Exactly Boss’s favorite kind of victim. All those years of meticulous grooming turned Jack into what he is now: a tool. This is what years of conditioning in powerless circumstances looks like. And as unromantic and devastating as it is, there is no magic “correct” choice that will fix it.

Save clearly has a ton of guilt. As I’m sure Jack did too. And I cannot stress enough the powerlessness of Save’s (and Jack’s) positions. Boss is not a guy you say no to or cause trouble for. Perceived or otherwise.

Joke still has some fight in him partly because of personality but also just because he’s brand new to this power dynamic. It’s been discussed more than once that Joke might be brilliant but he does not have a lifetime of navigating people like Boss and the predatory dynamics of poverty and he will make things worse just because he doesn’t understand how things work here.

Jack’s decision not to involve Joke or tell him what’s going on is twofold: For one thing he doesn’t want to drag him down. And for another Joke is unequipped to handle what’s at stake. Jack is the veteran in this situation and he is just as intelligent as Joke but he knows the territory and is intimately familiar with the consequences of butting heads with authority no matter how wrong they are.

Which brings us to yet another theme: choices. It is a fundamental truth that there are always choices. However, all choices have consequences. And circumstances do not always offer the luxury of a perfect choice. Or even a remotely good one. Like it or not there are no good choices in Jack’s position right now. And he is always going to throw himself in front of the bullet first. That’s just who he is.

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The Ruin and Renewal

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I like that in the special episode I feel like we saw Tattoo’s feelings for Aran coming to the forefront. Specially with the jealousy scene. However They are both still hesitant to make a move because of insecurities and hang ups. I feel like Tattoo will have it be the one to make the move because he’s the one with the bigger issues surrounding money and class and the show hasn’t been explicit about his sexuality (although I think he’s atleast bi?)

I agree, we are seeing more of Tattoo's feelings. We've seen some jealousy(ish? proto-jealousy?) from him before, at least a couple of times with Hoy and Aran, but those times are more vague and could be explained away (or at least Tattoo would try to - he is not ready for that convo). Whereas in the special we get a clear shot of Tattoo's reaction to Aran 'flirting' with Jack, and I don't think there is any ambiguity here. He's jealous! Totally miffed that Aran is complimenting Jack's muscles (even though he said nothing to Tattoo about his! Hmh!). And to my mind Aran is doing this on purpose since Tattoo rejected him that morning.

As to why the both of them are hesitant to advance things, I think you're right on the nose by mentioning insecurities and hangups. However, it seems to me that Tattoo's issues around money and class are no longer directed towards Aran (or Joke, or even Rosé), after Joke effectively absolved him of the deeds he felt forced to do. These issues might still be in play, of course, but there's something else that I find myself thinking about when it comes to Aran and Tattoo's relationship and its progress.

It is this: his mechanic's brain, his way of looking at the world and creating his own. He wants to understand what makes things tick. And obviously this extends to Aran. This is the most baffling creature Tattoo has ever met, sometimes annoyingly so. And that is what I find myself looking at, looking for, when I watch the two of them. A simple example is Tattoo's reaction when Aran pulls away from the hug. Sure, there's some disappointment there. But there's also bafflement at yet another case of push-and-pull from Aran, another piece of empirical evidence to tinker with later within his own mind. (And it does still seem like rudimentary tinkering when it comes to these things, however experienced he may be with the concrete things he builds. He might find his talent in this as well though!)

Another aspect that creates insecurity is the way Tattoo sidesteps any straightforward answers about his feelings. This is in his character, sure, but it is also due to the genre. There's a post languishing somewhere in my draft pile about the three genres that we get with the three couples, and Tattoo and Aran are playing by comedic rules (sometimes dramedy and sometimes romcom, as far as my tentative understanding of genres goes). All of their serious scenes are either interrupted with a comedic beat or by a person, or else we just do not get to see the aftermath (looking at you, special ep stab scene! Not the only one but the most notable to be sure).

So, often Tattoo's role is to act as comedic relief. This means we get light quips about 'huh, why would I date/hook up with him"; or he breaks a moving moment by saying he meant for Aran to go wipe the counter (towel scene my beloved). And that in turn means it is difficult for Aran to take Tattoo's gestures seriously, and if he does the trust it would build is undermined by the comedy rules they are playing by.

As for Aran, he is clearly attracted, clearly infatuated, and just as clearly hesitant to take things further. On the surface, he makes it seem like this is about wanting a wealthy guy with model-like good looks, rather than plain old Tattoo. (Not my opinion of Tattoo, just what Aran is telling us in the special and indeed before that.) I don't think these are real issues at this point, though. Rather, it seems to me he is hurt, wounded by the way he was raised after his mother died. These hurts are there in his other close relationships as well. He's only now building any close relationships, and who is the closest one? Dear old Tattoo. So, we need only to remember what the hug Boss Alice gave meant for Aran, and we see it's no wonder he backs off from the one(s) with Tattoo. (I think there's much more there as well, something about not wanting to have to be the one to make the move, and not being certain of Tattoo's feelings (esp since Tattoo is comedy-forced to make light of them), annd other considerations but this is getting long so I'll wrap this up here for now.)

Oh, and as to who will make the first move, it's interesting that the poll we had going during season 1 had most people voting for Aran to be the one to initiate, and now I feel if we had another poll the result might be the opposite. But this is seriously long so I'll just say I hope we get to see it, whichever way it goes! (Personally I'm a fan of situations where they are stuck together for whatever reason and the tension forces one or the other to choose to close the distance, but that's... not the point here.:D)

Whew! Thank you for the ask and sorry for the wait, it takes me time to put things into words, esp in English.:)

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I'm liking what the outfits are saying about Aran and Tattoo.

They're wearing a lot of b&w again, and complementary colours. But even more specifically, in an ep about a wedding(...), they're giving us the two of them in light and dark, bride-and-groom colours specifically. (As indeed they do for J&J and HopeSave, making the point crystal clear).

Very yin and yang, eh?

And then there's the measuring tape.

Here, Aran has gone back to black since his uncertain offer to take the relationship from mueng to ger was rebuffed by a too-sleepy Tattoo, thus making Tattoo carry the lighter colour. But even while they're being awkward with each other, Tattoo still wears Aran's spare measuring tape around his neck. A yellow one, his home colour, and Aran's a white one.

I wish I could verbalise my feelings about this, other than aaa.

There's more of course, the new additions to dream tees, and the mafia couple flavoured outfits Aran chooses for the two of them for the infiltration operation, and Tattoo's newfound penchant for dark maroon, but alas! I am overcome with augh.

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We finally see the bedroom and get confirmation that Aran and Tattoo were sleeping in the same bed while Aran was staying there :.) and Tattoo being considerate, wearing clothes every night though sweating gives him a rash. Sweetheart:)

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just a little guy in a big big world

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everything in this life fucking matters and love is devastatingly real

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Soooo Fadel and Bison are trying to get Style and Kant to fall in love with them (too late, they have!) and they're using the same moves that the besties used on them.

I mean, Fadel is showing up unannounced and just going for it, pulling Style over and making his move. Like Style has so many times. It has to work, right, since it worked on Fadel.

And Bison also surprising Kant and being so so sweet and acting cutely, just wanting to spend time together for a special occasion, like Kant did at the bowling alley.

I'm sure there're more parallels too. They're all so so unwell about each other.

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sometimes I think red arapaima scales look like closed eyelids

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Let’s talk about queerness and High School Frenemy. There’s a large portion of BL fandom that refuses to engage with the show, and while that rubs me the wrong way, I do understand it. If you only wish to consume queer media, it’s easy to dismiss HSF since it is not explicitly queer. It’s also a show that on a surface level, looks like classic queerbaiting. And before I get a bunch of HSF fans in the tags or comments, I am a huge fan of this show. It is possibly the best thing I’ve watched all year. But on a surface level, it is doing the literal definition of queerbaiting even if I personally do not think it is. 

As a person who is OLD and came of age in the 90s, I do want to talk about this show from a queer perspective. I grew up in a time when queer characters were not abundant. If they did show up in media, it was newsworthy. These characters were always support characters and seldom had love interests or explored what it was like to be queer. None of them looked like me or made me feel seen or represented. Heteronormativity was the standard, as it is today, but back then, a queer kid seldom encountered anything that made them question that heteronormativity. 

HSF, and Shin and Saint specifically, resonate with me more than most queer media I’ve consumed, and I’ve consumed a lot. The intense, obsessive love that Shin and Saint have for each other under the guise of friendship IS my story. For me, it was a wild girl named Jennifer, who I was attached to the hip with from 6th grade until our early twenties. I loved her. I was obsessed with her. I was probably in love with her, but it never occurred to me until years after we’d stopped speaking that what I felt for her was more than friendship. The heteronormative brainworms are real, and they infected me until my late 20s when I suddenly had a revelation about myself. 

Hindsight is 20/20. Suddenly, my obsession with Charlize Theron in Two Days In The Valley, Helen Hunt in Twister (1996), and Kate Winslet in Titanic made so much sense. My relationship with Jennifer was also at the forefront of my mind. Ah, I thought. That’s what that was.

HSF is a show about friendship, a show about community, a show about the ways adults fail their children, a show about class and poverty. It is also a show about unrealized queerness. The director, Fon, told that story purposefully through music, lighting, and dialogue, she told a story about two boys who can’t live without each other, but don’t have the knowledge, the vocabulary, or the self-awareness to understand what they are to each other.

In every choice Fon made, she dangled queerness without explicitly naming it. I would call it queerbaiting in any other media,  but for me, she made one other choice that I believe is purposeful and elevates this show into the queer category for me. She completely stripped the show of heteronormativity. There are no couples. None. We never see Chatjen’s parents. Any parents we do see are single - Ken’s father, Shin’s mother, Saint’s father, Cable’s mother.

In any other media, the male and female homeroom teachers with clashing teaching styles would  be an enemies-to-lovers side plot. Here, they grow into supportive co-workers and friends who become better versions of themselves to help the children in their class. In any other media, there would be talk of crushes among the teenagers. Here, we see them grapple with the pressures of academia, abusive or absentee parents, bullying, drugs, and the hopelessness of poverty. In fact, the only mention of sexuality or romance at all comes from Eve, a girl who befriends Airy, a girl from their rival school, and confesses that she had a crush on her when she was younger. Nothing comes of this revelation, even though we see Airy become curious and seek out Eve’s company prior to this revelation, and we see how pleased Airy is about Eve’s confession. But this is a show about unrealized queerness and even Eve and Airy, two girls who understand what they are feeling for one another, still can’t bring themselves to name it.

The lack of heterosexuality creates a void that is filled by Shin and Saint’s relationship. It’s purposeful, and Director Fon uses other friendships in the show to highlight the ways Shin and Saint are not the same. Knot, Nate, and Ken are extremely close friends. They, too, have a “no one left behind” friendship pact. They fight for each other and get hurt for each other and very obviously love each other. Chatjen and Shin’s friendship is also very deep. Chatjen considers Shin his best friend. He hero worships him a bit and sees him as his protector and savior. Yet, anyone watching can understand the ways the producers use music, lighting, costuming, and dialogue to elevate Shin and Saint’s relationship above all the other ones. 

High School Frenemy is queer. Shin and Saint are purposefully queer coded in a world devoid of heterosexuality. You are seeing what you are supposed to see, and it's a hill I’ll die on. If you were on the fence about this show, I can not recommend it enough. It’s great and will leave you feeling warm and happy and loved. If you only consume explicitly queer media, I still encourage you to watch it. Sometimes, our queerness eludes us. Sometimes it’s hidden under other words like “friendship” because we haven’t learned the right words for it yet. I enjoyed watching a show that reminded me of my youth and gave me a glimpse of the girl I used to be. She was still queer even if she didn't know it yet.

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I've been watching Fourever you, like, recreationally (as opposed to the serious professional way of watching bl, hah) and it's been fine. Some parts I'm more interested in and some I watch while doing something else at the same time.

And then. Out of NOWHERE. Tiger and Nao? Pining for a friend, taking care of them (the jacket scene ohh), sleeping in the same bed (the ARM), North teasing Tiger and the "if he finds out it should be from me", all of it. Why is it always the crumbs?? I mean, thanks for the crumbs I'm baking them into a lovely cheesecake. but. crumbs:(

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HOOO boy that was a ride. I laughed so many times, not sure if it was at the points I was meant to but oh well :D

I'm ok with this, there is so much love in Tattoo and Aran, we've been shown it all along.

And Hope! So happy with everything Hope-wise (including Save of course).

All in all, thanks as always. :3

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YEEESSS they're here i knew P'Nang had a point!!

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oh MY Aran with his whole chest out and ready to swing an axe

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OHHHHH GOD!!! THE CRYING BLOOD IMAGERY

That is BEAUTIFUL! Crying as his lover is taken from him ahhhh makeup artist you GENIUS!!! Such a clever idea to make his wounds look as if he's crying, he fail to protect Save, the only thing he praised himself for and he failed, he's in agony, the one good thing about his life is taken. AND HE'S CRYING BLOOD Ahsbfbrfg beautiful

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aran - the final episode

the irony and parallels of how different they portray the relationship progress of Joke's and Aran's fathers really got me.

while even towards the final ep they show us that boss hasn't changed. they try to make space for Joke’s father processing his feelings yet none from boss. they tried to convince us so bad how Joke’s father had changed and does care now, but they don’t do it for Aran and Boss. Joke was on the verge of giving up, while Aran is still holding onto it, trying to cling onto his father. even if his father showed that he is unwilling to change, that he simply doesn’t want to care.

I found so many paralells between Joke and Aran and it baffles me that no one else does?

you all will hate to see me coming with the Aran x Joke parallels lol.

anyways.

I need aran to be the one that finishes boss. I don’t think anything else would make sense. Jack or Joke putting him out, just like that? no I truly hope this doesn’t happen. I need it to be gutwrenching. he is still split on loving his father, caring about him, clinging onto his deepest wish that he would take him back in, that he would love him back. while also not wanting to see his friends go down because of him. his father laughing with pride of the power he holds. proud of the things he caused. I need him to realize and act out of anger and fear that something will happen to the others. don’t care if it’s either killing him or putting him out. but for me it needs to be him. his own father who still after 12 episodes doesn’t acknowledge him as his own son. who still doesn’t care about him.

I hope aran realizes that his father is still the same person, that he won’t change. that he is willing to do anything to obtain power and control. even hurting his friends, the only people who care about him. I want it to be a thing between boss and aran. even if it’s only for 5 minutes. him not being able to let go of his hopes that his father would change. that there still would be a chance for him to be acknowledged as his son. he expressed how he doesn’t want him to die but also doesn’t want his friends to get hurt by him. he is still split, his unresolved feelings, his grudge, he wishes and yearns deeply for his father. he can’t hate him and can’t see him leave. but he knows what he is doing and causing is wrong. that’s why he is scared to face him. scared to hear him speak directly face to face. scared to realize all of that, his fear becoming true.