i-eat-nail-polish - Tumblr blog

[i-eat-nail-polish]

You couldn’t watersport that out of me

[i-eat-nail-polish]

This has just become a diary blog sorry.

Something I wanna see more is the mental struggles of being queer. Its great that in media were being more represented with outward struggles like legislative homophobia outward group homophobia. The tide publically has turned for the better even if it feels like it got worse. I can tell it’s getting better.

What I really wanna see now are stories about how incredibly lonely and traumatizing it can be to be queer. Love stories are easy to write so I wanna see an isolation story. I wanna see another gay person that has been alone for so long they feel outside of their own community. I wanna know I’m not so alone and that why I’m feeling isn’t so alien.

I want to see stories of the internal struggle of gender and NOT through the lense of other people thinking it’s weird, of the main character not understanding and feeling conflicted.

[i-eat-nail-polish]

Show this to people to show them every little bit counts and that the actions they do matter even when the problem is so massive and the solution is hard. Everything counts and everything matters.

I'm sorry for being so sappy, but I wanted to show you guys something.

When I first donated to PCRF in December 2023, it was barely 10% close to its goal. Now in March 2024, they're also 100%. Everyone of you has helped support a better future for Gaza.

They're so close to their goal. Please donate or share this post so that they can get to their goal🇵🇸

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Do people still care about Palestine?

Recently just found out my friend has been purchasing Starbucks under our noses for awhile now which just made me think. Has america moved on from caring because the conflict couldn’t be solved in a few months? For me, my for you page has not changed since maybe Oct 10? I’ve been reposting any info I can for anyone to spread, I’ve attended talks and tried to spread any info I can to my campus but now I wonder if anyone around cares. They say that building communities with the people around you is how you make the most change which is what I’ve been trying to do. I haven’t been met with much success and now even my own friends have stopped caring. What do I do now? I can’t cut them off because they’re my roommate so now what.

[i-eat-nail-polish]

[i-eat-nail-polish]

Something to note

Maybe the reason we’re making no progress is because we’re not playing the game they want us to play which is good because we won’t play into Israeli propaganda or US propaganda. Going against the grain is a good thing but it’s slow progress. So think about and consider this point

If we want to make progress, would it be worth it to try playing at the game they want to win.

In no way am I saying this is a good idea because I haven’t fully thought out the logistics of what this would mean. I’m asking you to consider what I’m about to say and YOU decide if it’s a good idea to share with your group.

what I’m thinking about is that by protesting and sending letters we are getting nowhere. They’ve stopped listening to us and that’s clear as day. In my previous post someone comment about what they think we should do and I urge you to consider that view as well. That is one side of the coin

The other side of the coin is this. What if we play into their propaganda machine. That’s a very loaded statement so I’ll break it down.

-We know everything they’ve told us is a lie. We are 5 months, 150 days in this genocide. We’ve had more than enough time to educate ourselves and learn that Israel is a state fabricated on lies and greed. We keep this knowledge as tight as we can and as close to our hearts as we can.

-The next step is to analyze propaganda tactics and research where they come from. If we can find their base knowledge (even though it’s wrong and full of hate) we can build some sort of argument against it? Basically what I’m saying is that we can pantomime that we’re in on the propaganda and spin it back to fight them.

-as an example. Genocide is too direct of a word EVEN THOUGHT IT IS THE CORRECT ONE. There is no other word to describe what is happening to Palestinian people other than a genocide. But we are dealing with propaganda masters. They will not acknowledge their faults. So Instead of the topic being about genocide, it has to be about hamas. REMEMBER THAT WE ARE PLAYING INTO THEIR GAME. WE KNOW THIS WAS NEVER ABOUT HAMAS AND IT WAS ONLY ABOUR COLONIZATION. They still think by pushing this false truth still, maybe we will care. We can use this against them.

-how do you use this in the government. Pressure them to do something about “not finding hamas” War costs money funded by our taxes. So we ask them “why haven’t you found them yet and why am I still paying for this.” By saying this you are hitting on two key points. Money and War. If you can convince your representatives that you will not fund a losing war, they could change. “It’s been 6 months and you still haven’t found Hamas. If you can’t find them, then I’m not paying taxes for a losing war. America is losing a war.”

This is not a fully thought out idea let me reiterate. This post is meant for you to consider and refine the idea. I am in no way endorsing this as a finalized version. Please talk with your groups about this and refine the idea. We can win this and we can’t give up hope. Feel free to critique any part of this too, I’m asking for your help as well.

[i-eat-nail-polish]

Think people think

Yet another Veto to a ceasefire from the US. They are not listening to us from protesting in the streets. They not listening to our calls, emails, letters.

The United States Government does not care about your protests. It’s time to change strategies and make them listen.

Marching and writing and voting do not work. We have to think of new and creative strategies that maybe aren’t fully used and or are completely new to make them listen. Rip out the Israeli earbuds America has on and scream In their face. We have to figure out how to do that. Please share this to your groups and start talking. We are losing time and losing lives.

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Quick post

I wish I could tell bisan and all the on the ground press that we are trying so hard to do our part and we will keep doing anything we can. We’re running into the problem where our government mutes us in their ears so they won’t listen. Because the world knows and the world is trying to change but the top won’t give way. We can find a way to break the seal and open the floodgates of change. We’re trying so hard. We’re trying every single day to uplift and free the Palestinian people. We’re going to do this. We’re going to help and we’re gonna make sure this doesn’t happen again.

We’re not letting the Palestinian people die. We’re not letting colonizers win

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Another long post

I really need us in the US to start thinking outside of the box on how we protest. Im making this post in hopes that it will inspire the people who can protest make everyone’s voices heard.

Our government choose not to listen to us anymore. Maybe our local government takes an earbud out once in awhile to keep us just starved enough to beg for more but overall they’re not listening. We have to start thinking bigger and more disruptive

Marches, and signs, and rallies have completed the first step which is awareness. Everyone at least knows about Palestine. Weather they care is a whole different post that I could make. But the people who haven’t listened are the ones at the top. They don’t feel the need to listen to our voices because we pretty much do nothing for them. Calling hasn’t worked because they already know what’s coming. Faxing them hasn’t worked because it wastes paper and they now what’s coming. Emailing doesn’t work because they know what’s coming and send it to junk. So what do we do? Part of me knows what we should do but another part knows the message gets tainted and the only real change we would achieve is more overcrowded prisons. I refuse to lose hope because that how we really die but I’m hitting a wall wondering not only what I can do but what we all can do?

I refuse to believe that all we can do is go to rallies and call and vote. If one solution doesn’t work than what other ones can we try? What have we learned?

Please start cracking open history books again and read and take notes and talk with one another.

I’m done with the talk that school teaches us nothing important. Schooling teaches us exactly what we should be applying right now. Crack open a book on the civil rights movement and study what techniques everyone used to disrupt. Discuss with your friends and community about it

Please god start talking to your community and making connections!!!!

The days keep passing and no change is getting done and this is how we do it. We all build a communal team to help solve problems

It’s seriously time to stop thinking about ourselves and more about the people around us and how we can help. It’s seriously time we think linearly all the time and connect with the minds around us. We are so much greater than we give ourselves credit for. You reading this post can do it and make a difference you just have to commit.

I’m not giving up hope because that’s how we truly die. We can absolutely change you just have to stick with it no matter how uncomfortable it may be. Once we connect with the people around us we can become a force of change that can eventually shake the country. So please start talking with your community. Talk to yourself and see what you can offer or who you can team up with and offer your skills. We are greater than what our government wants us to be.

We can do this

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why the fuck does israel have their bloody hands in literally everyone and everything?

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What world are we living in that the onion is gonna become a trusted source

are you kidding me

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I’m also adding a few things before I go to sleep as more of flashing ideas

1: this will be the first year I vote in a major election. I’ve learned a lot on how to make change by paying attention to all voting sectors. I genuinely don’t know what to do. I’m truly at a loss on why I should even cast a ballot. (I will and I’m doing research on who to vote for locally, statewide, and federally)

2: I wonder if we will ever see a truly free Palestine. Change like that takes a very long time so yes one day we will see a free Palestine but in my lifetime will I?

3: what do the average people of the colony state think of what is happening. Are people protesting like we are all around the world? Are they in on the boycotts and global organization of information? My news stream doesn’t allow much to come from the colony state so genuniely I have no idea what average people are doing.

4: Pleastia posts these “my life before the war” posts and it strikes such a chord with me. I’m in love with artwork or videos that show life in stills almost. Little points in time where life just exists without anything else. Her posts of her around Gaza looking happy and running on the beach hit the nail on the head with that interest. Bisan’s series on Palestinian culture also does the same thing and im in love with it. We can’t lose another culture we need to keep fighting. We cannot afford to lose culture ever and we need to keep fighting to keep it alive. It’s such a vibrant and interesting culture to learn about we just can’t lose it for the worlds sake. Idk how to convey that to your souls so you can feel what I feel but try. We can’t lose Palestine we just can’t.

Hey I’m gonna probably post more serious stuff because I need to have discussions with people about Palestine. For one I live in an area and am surrounded by people who aren’t pro Palestinian. They don’t take anything surround boycotts or information in general about the genocide serious at all because it doesnt effect them. It’s starting to wear on me because there’s no one to cope (idk if that’s the right word) with what I see online on a daily basis. Ever since mid October or so? (When the tik tok algorithm caught up with the time) I’ve seen countless atrocities that I’ve only ever seen in video games or movies played out in real life against real people. I learned what real bombs sound like both far away and up close because of these videos. Lately I’ve also started to dream about being trapped in Gaza with that feeling of death looming. It sounds dramatic but it’s true. Every day I’m thankful that I’m constantly shown information about Palestine and surrounding Arab countries and I’m also in shock. I’m in shock for a few reasons. 1: I’ve watched for months now, a country, a land and it’s people go through something worse than hell and nobody around feels the same sadness and basic human empathy. No one cares to take in that there’s a massive loss of life and culture and future for whatever reason. It’s gut renching to think about it. 2: I can’t help beyond witnessing and documenting. It seems stupid and corny to think that we’re privileged to have phones but documenting this horrible event through a phone camera is so incredible for history. It just feels almost insulting that that’s all I can do as a poor college student in America. Yes, I can call my representatives which thankfully where I live do support a free and liberated Palestine, but others won’t even do much as think about their constituents. It’s hard because it feels like we’re trying to move a volcano with plastic beach shovels. So all we can do is sit and save videos before social media giants take them down. 3: coming to terms that nobody looks out for each other on a large scale. Because I follow now many journalists from various sectors ranging from on the ground in Gaza to political scientists giving me lessons on the United Nations history, I’m shocked at how all of it is fake. Nothing makes sense anymore. You’re telling me because 2 countries won’t vote on a ceasefire but 98% do we can’t move on with it? Why does the US get privileges that to my limited knowledge no one else has the same power leverage as. How has nobody else stepped in when MANY war crimes are being committed. Why do they even exist if countries are never seriously prosecuted? Why even have rules if you can’t follow them? It’s disheartening to watch but I can’t give up hope. I’m not giving up hope because that’s all we have. I may not have direct ties to Palestine but as if needless suffering is enough for me to care, I care especially for the queer family in Gaza. They are as much apart of the queer family as my roommates are. I don’t know if and when we lose LGBTQ+ people in Gaza but I know it’s happening so I cry for the loss of our family. I need to see an end to this. I need to. I don’t know how to process any of what I’ve witnessed or feel right now or even what else I can do to help stop a genocide. I need to talk to people so please may you strike up conversation. Correct me in any place, tell me about the latest boycotts, show me protests. Please converse we have to keep hope alive.

[i-eat-nail-polish]

Hey I’m gonna probably post more serious stuff because I need to have discussions with people about Palestine. For one I live in an area and am surrounded by people who aren’t pro Palestinian. They don’t take anything surround boycotts or information in general about the genocide serious at all because it doesnt effect them. It’s starting to wear on me because there’s no one to cope (idk if that’s the right word) with what I see online on a daily basis. Ever since mid October or so? (When the tik tok algorithm caught up with the time) I’ve seen countless atrocities that I’ve only ever seen in video games or movies played out in real life against real people. I learned what real bombs sound like both far away and up close because of these videos. Lately I’ve also started to dream about being trapped in Gaza with that feeling of death looming. It sounds dramatic but it’s true. Every day I’m thankful that I’m constantly shown information about Palestine and surrounding Arab countries and I’m also in shock. I’m in shock for a few reasons. 1: I’ve watched for months now, a country, a land and it’s people go through something worse than hell and nobody around feels the same sadness and basic human empathy. No one cares to take in that there’s a massive loss of life and culture and future for whatever reason. It’s gut renching to think about it. 2: I can’t help beyond witnessing and documenting. It seems stupid and corny to think that we’re privileged to have phones but documenting this horrible event through a phone camera is so incredible for history. It just feels almost insulting that that’s all I can do as a poor college student in America. Yes, I can call my representatives which thankfully where I live do support a free and liberated Palestine, but others won’t even do much as think about their constituents. It’s hard because it feels like we’re trying to move a volcano with plastic beach shovels. So all we can do is sit and save videos before social media giants take them down. 3: coming to terms that nobody looks out for each other on a large scale. Because I follow now many journalists from various sectors ranging from on the ground in Gaza to political scientists giving me lessons on the United Nations history, I’m shocked at how all of it is fake. Nothing makes sense anymore. You’re telling me because 2 countries won’t vote on a ceasefire but 98% do we can’t move on with it? Why does the US get privileges that to my limited knowledge no one else has the same power leverage as. How has nobody else stepped in when MANY war crimes are being committed. Why do they even exist if countries are never seriously prosecuted? Why even have rules if you can’t follow them? It’s disheartening to watch but I can’t give up hope. I’m not giving up hope because that’s all we have. I may not have direct ties to Palestine but as if needless suffering is enough for me to care, I care especially for the queer family in Gaza. They are as much apart of the queer family as my roommates are. I don’t know if and when we lose LGBTQ+ people in Gaza but I know it’s happening so I cry for the loss of our family. I need to see an end to this. I need to. I don’t know how to process any of what I’ve witnessed or feel right now or even what else I can do to help stop a genocide. I need to talk to people so please may you strike up conversation. Correct me in any place, tell me about the latest boycotts, show me protests. Please converse we have to keep hope alive.

[i-eat-nail-polish]

SOUND THE TRUMPETS

RING THE BELLS

WE HAVE A NEW ONE

(She still doesn’t have a name so drop names please)

IM PROUD TO PRESENT

her.

She was birthed from slacking off in my sewing class and I’m not gonna finish her feet. What should we name her

[i-eat-nail-polish]

SOUND THE TRUMPETS

RING THE BELLS

WE HAVE A NEW ONE

(She still doesn’t have a name so drop names please)

IM PROUD TO PRESENT

her.

She was birthed from slacking off in my sewing class and I’m not gonna finish her feet. What should we name her

[i-eat-nail-polish]

Random serious post but I feel like you guys would understand.

As much as I love being gay and being in such a dynamic and wonderful community, I think about the mental toll being gay is sometimes. Not because of straight people, but because of other people in the community. For instance, I’m pretty sure I’m agender and I look like a twink. In my area there’s so much DL bs and general anti fem people that it’s starting to wear on me. Now almost 21 years in my life and I’m still not desired because of my gender and sexuality. I want to believe that there could be someone out there that has the love I want but I haven’t even had one of those meaningless relationships. Despite leaving my small town and getting to a bigger pool of people I’m still alone. Despite leaving a place where I was one of maybe 4 gay people I’m still alone. So I ask why me. So I ask when. When do I get to have a gay friend group? When do I have a person to love me unconditionally. When will I have my queer experience despite being queer my whole life.

When?

[i-eat-nail-polish]

What is going on on this site bro