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HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY!!! To this elderly bapy boye!!! he...!!!
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erm........
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(a type of poll which is meant to work with the percentage of the selection being the 'amount' of it - for example if 'arms' was at 50%, then the arms would take up 50% of the body, etc. Try to make things balanced!! I will draw the final result~)
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A new sculpture! Finally... I feel like I never sculpt anymore since I'm always sick or have some 500 other things going on or projects to finish, but I'm trying to schedule time to do it more often this year hopefully..! Just a generic fantasy creature as usual, but did try making the eyes a little more sparkly this time.. hrmm..
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(a type of poll which is meant to work with the percentage of the selection being the 'amount' of it - for example if 'arms' was at 50%, then the arms would take up 50% of the body, etc. Try to make things balanced!! I will draw the final result~)
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HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY!!! To this elderly bapy boye!!! he...!!!
#cats#ghhbbb this is the first time I've genuinely considered tumblr blazing a post lol but no.. i shant.. I feel too weird putting financial#information into tumblr or whatever unless I made like a seperate bank account or something not associated with anyhting else lol#but I gave it serious contemplation which is really sayng something (the evil magical spell that all cats cast over u by their perfection)#ANYWAY.................... old man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#it's technically like march 8th but I did his party a little early. I have other pictures to post later maybe too..hrmm#The '1' candle is actually a '4' candle with the side part cut off because they didn't have any 1s#I went all out (like under $15 still lol) and got new birthday decorations for him instead of using the same old#ones from the past like 5 birthdays that I've done for the cats lol..#His theme was rainbows mostly in as light of colors as I could find#The legal age to drive a car in the US is 16 so.... honk honk beep beep.. I shall go out and buy him the most expensive car on the market#as soon as March 8th comes. then he can run little errands (probably mostly getting kibbles or chicken somewhere)#stealing the rotisserie chickens from walmart or something lol#AND they would let him have them. He would drive up and walk inside and they'd call the manager to come over#and they would be so moved by his presence and his big goofy stare that they would just be like..... okey.. have all the chicken in the#entire store. Actually. have the store. it's yours now. And This would continue all the way up the chain until he was handed#the entire walmart company. And every other company. a boy who owns everything. probably wouldnt use it for evil. he'd just abolish#everything and then focus on eating chickens.. ........ chibken son...
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A few silly little small sculptures that I made with some of the leftover clay from the main one I did recently
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BABY SON LIGHT BEAM ATTACK ACTIVATED
#remenber him..............#repeat reblog#havent posted in so long I have been hibernating in my wizard tower just having Various Problems And Stressors lol#fighting a greuling battle to complete basic tasks such as.. make sculpture... etc.#I want to do art mooorrrreeeeee. I mean I do artall the time in the sense of writing and making my game and stuff#but those are not physical art I can really talk about much here or show. It's just like... typing in a word document or renpy or whatever#I feel like there are Two Types of creative stuff - which is like.. 1. Things I can get done in a day or so (sculptures. costumes. outfits.#painting. sketches. little crafts. song snippets/music) and 2. Things which can take anywehre from 3 days to 3 years (writing short stories#making games. editing videos. constructing languages. world details. etc).. And in a way I find the longer term projects more fulfilling#overall (like if I had to choose to TOMORROW be either a famous author or a famous sculptor - I'd probably rather have my world ideas and s#stuff out there because those are more personally important to me. whereas my sculptures are kind of just mindless#like 'whatever easthetically looks good idk' there's not much thought behind them).#But I think I also need a steady flow of shorter term projects to stay motivated. Because you can work on writing for like a YEAR and you'r#still not done. so all it feels like is ''despite working and working. I have concretely finished NOTHING and#have NOTHING to show for anything. which makes me feel bad because it's like I'm wasting my time even though#I know I'm technically not.''. Whereas working on a sculpture fora day or two#then you can be like 'Ah. Yes. Visible Tangible Evidence Of My Productivity. Something I Can Hold' lol.. if that makes sense???#I think the past like 8 months or more I've been so focused on trying to complete longer things (tired of them looming over me as#froever unfinished tasks) that I kind of got a way a lot from Smaller Tasks. But I realize that I do need them#I need to like set aside one day a week or every other week to just complete a smaller task from start to finish#so I can feel like I'm really physically doing something. Since I'm starting to lose motivation for the LONGER things now too because they#feel so hopeless and in the cycle of 'I do this forever but have no tangible evidence' which to my brain means 'You Have Sat And Done#Nothing For The 700th Day In A Row >:0' (ignoring that I DID do some stuff. just not tangible stuff).. ANYWAY#I mean there are some days I actually do indeed do Nothing due to The Problems And Disorders And Health Issues.. But there are also plenty#of days that I work on something but just... literally forget about it entirely for lack of tangible evidence. Like my brain not having#object permanence but it's like.. To-Do List permanence. If you did something but there's no physical evidence you did it then you actually#did nothing somehow. etc. ANYWAY... so...... I am needing to focus on smaller tasks soon I think.. hrmmmmm......
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I have a big google doc thing where I keep track of media and stuff (putting everything in loosely ranked categories), which is mostly just for my own reference so I know what tv shows I've already seen before, etc. and I never really look back through it, typically just a quick "okay, watched two movie in the past 8 months, need to quickly slap them somewhere in the lists. okay. done. save document. exit". But today I was actually reading through some of the old notes and there are like... MULTIPLE places where my comment is basically "It would have been good if it were about elves" or "I wish there was a fantasy show made in this same style" or "It's well made, but I just keep thinking about how I would like it more if everyone was an elf or was in old 1700s costumes" or etc like...... lol.... Most biased media ranking system on earth blatantly made by someone with an extremely hyperspecific range of narrow interests. It'd be like if a food reviewer only had 5 foods they actually liked, so they'd just go to a pizza place and be like "eh, the pizza was okay, but I just think it would be better if it was cereal instead. :/ ...2 out of 10"
#Which.. I mean... I am allowed to be biased because literally it's just for my own personal reference (or occasionall#y to send to friends or something if we're discussing the topic) so like.. nowhere am I saying 'I am the god of perfect taste and these#rankings are objectively the absolute truth and everyone should have my same opinion' or anything#BUT still.. it's funny to me sometimes#'Succession would be 100x better if it had the same cast/character quirks and shaky camera style and#acting choices/weird dialogue and general concept etc. EXCEPT it takes place within an elven noble family or something#managing the family business and everyone is in fantasy costumes now'' like.....okay...... but it's NOT that way..soo... thats not the show#''I like the acting style/general tone of Fleabag but i don't care for any of the characters or any of the subject matter and I wish it was#set in the 1800s and had vampires and was about magic instead'' okay..... again... you are making up an entirely new show in that case lol#OR my other beloved typical complaint ''The concept is good but theres too much plot and action and not enough people just sitting#around doing nothing and exposition dumping world and character lore'' ''this needs more goofy sideplots and filler episodes''#''this Drama was too dramatic I think it should be more lighthearted & people need to sit around doing nothing just being weird more often'#''the Action Movie was ok except for the action scenes - which I skipped through all of- but I liked the costumes and worldbuilding'' etc.#ERM sorry your plot has too much plot. also elves have to be included somehow. bye#BUT SERIOUSLY!!!!!! I literally genuinely believe that any show I like (or even dislike) could ALWAYS be improved greatly by#putting people in fantasy or historical costume/setting/etc... why the FUNK would I want to see bland jeans and cars and cell phones#when I could see elaborate velvet cloaks and fantastical landscapes and interior design and innovative takes on historical or#magical technology or etc. etc. etc. I LIVE in the modern day. I see it all the time!!! BORING! stinky!! boo!!!#ANYWAY... another social divide for me.. People love to bond by discussing media. which is hard when I'm like#'I literally will not watch something at all unless it fits into one of these 10 extremely specific categories which are all i care about i#the entire world''.. I say this and yet I still dislike most fantasy or historical things I've watched lol. ok TWO main criteria then!!#it must 1. be in a different world or time period. 2. be goofy silly. Nothing ever has BOTH. It's always overly serious boring drama action#fantasy/history stuff OR it's comedic lighthearted but with modern day characters... WHY.. anguish and woe and so on..#ANYWAY jhjnk... at least I can make that divide. Some people seem to project their own personal preferences and get really emotionally#defensive if you say you didn't like something - as if the fact that they DO like it is some Objective Truth or something rather than just#opinion/preference based. I can still easily say ''this is well made/well written/acted/good in a technical sense/has a lot of#points of appeal that most people would be drawn to/etc'' and admit that it's a GOOD show probably. I just PERSONALLY think its#bad because my tastes are very narrow. Some things ARE actually made badly but. things are not bad INHERENTLY just bc they dont suit ME lol#Better to recognize/accept whats odd about you and be peacefully aware of it than just being mad at everyone all the time for not fully#agreeing with you even when you're the one with the Weird opinion in that case lol.. I am right though :3 but.. lol... still. i get it
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I was just thinking what a cool job this might be.. what if you were just the person who makes little still images of cute animal figurines doing various activities to post on social media...? like.. show up to work and just spend the whole day like "hmm... this table should be placed to the left a little.. let me set this miniature bagel down in this way... this tiny rabbit should be wearing a scarf", setting the backgrounds, the lighting, etc. ... dream job perhaps lol...
#I'm sure it probably doesnt pay much lol#but.. maybe in some ideal world..#with my health and mental conditions and level of functioning there are VERY few Jobs I could actually EVER manage aside from#just being self employed and being able to set my own hours somehow etc... But every once in a while I come across something like this#and it's like... hrmm.... Yes... perhaps if I could align myself in this hyper specific scenario under hyper specific conditions in a#precise and predictable way and everything worked out perfectly and I had all the accomodations I might need.. maybe I could#do THAT thing then .. lol#Not just generally a 'social media manager' or something. I think that would drive me into the throes of madness#but SPECIFICALLY 'person who makes the images for the calico critters social media' and also#the place i have to go to do that is either my home or within walking distance of my home and also i rarely have to interact#with others aside from the posts probably going through some approval process and initial ideas where they tell me what#type of scene to make and also i somehow make $90.000 a year doing this for only 4 days a week with frequent sick breaks#dreamy sigh and so on and so forth and such and so on#ANYWAY........#the idea of meticulously placing little pastries and miniature crayons and stuff around all day until the scene is perfectly crafted.. SO#SO so appealing to me... like designing environments in the sims except it's real and tangible.. And also imagine having access#to the FULL library of miniature items. to me that would be just as good as owning them#Like.. I get to use them and make little scenes with them and hold them and stare at them and everything except also#they're all kept at work so I don't have boxes of clutter filling home.#unlimited access to every little miniature food ever crafted yet none of the downsides (purchase cost and storage)#etc. etc. ANYWAY ...#Chuckling confidently as I add this onto the 'List Of ''Real'' Jobs I Could Do' which is just a notebook sheet of paper with only like 5#other similarly unlikely hyperspecific scenarios scribbled down
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Recently I was out walking and caught a glimpse from the corner of my eye that someone had seemingly left a beautiful blue bird figurine on a city bench, but alas... upon closer inspection........ twas just a crumpled bag
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pov you are a tiny piece of chicken nugget 
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Bad quality images, but in this park I've just come across some of the roundest pigeons I've ever seen.. they look like they've both swallowed baseballs or something.... impeccable
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sneeping with his legs up over his head for some reason... weird boye
#cats#love the second picture... skrungly sleepy well rested boye face...#since he's an elderly boy now sometimes when he wakes up from a nap he looks a bit scruffy and squinty eyed#Hard to beleive he's like 15 though.. he still looks like a kitten to me.. due to his giant round creature eyes and childlike demeanor#I think it's interesting that like... baby cats are babies. kittens are kittens. and you can tell a cat is like 'young adult' phase#looking from like a few months to maybe 1yr or 2yrs.. but after that they just always look the same to me#a 5 yr old cat is a 10 yr old cat is a 15 year old cat. unless the cat in question is particulalry aged or youthful#I still have so so little energy... it's been icy here this week. like not even FUN but just scary icy even thoguh i lOOOVE the cold#and its my favorite weather. I think it'd be okay actually if I had a woodburning stove/fireplace/hearth thing. literally thats my only#concern with the power going out. I genuinely don't mind stuff like having to go to the bathroom in buckets or cook over a fire or do other#less conveninet things. Its just that if eveyrhtng is electric then you have no way to cook and all of that. well.. and I literally need#background noise to go to sleep lest my ocd sprials become so loud I am slowly driven into maddness.. but a few battery packs or something#and a phone with one downloaded video I could play on repeat is fine for that. I dont need internet. ANYWAY.. so so sad that my fav#orite season ever (winter) is here. and the first cold of the winter is like... just an ice storm that you cant even walk in. I#love like 4 feet of snow where you can play in it and stuff. But just a thin flat sheet of a few inches of ice over every imaginable surfac#is not really playable. the wind speeds are so high and so many trees fall it's actually not that safe to go hang out outside anyway unless#you were in a totally clear open field. which is SAD also because i love ice and high winds. i love to stand out there and get whipped in t#he face with ice crystals and feel like I'm in some dramatic movie or something. but alas.. the threat of being attacked by a falling tree.#I did go out some but again it's like. literallyyou cant walk on it. so I just squatted and dragged myself along the ground lol#One of my stories has a whole section where the main characters are trapped in a deadly cold environment for a week and have to use magic#to survive and etc. etc. so I'm always like.. ouuu.. I should go in the ice.. it's Writing Research actually.. *foolishly gets frostbite*#THOUGH yesterday I went on a harrowing evil journey down a bunch of icy hilly roads to go check on some person's cat because the cat#had been left in the house for like 5 days at that point with nobody to check on them and nobody else seemed to want to do anything#about it (like call all of the neighbors or try to get someone out there) so I just went myself with a roommate who agreed to drive me.#It seemed acting totally normal and I gave it more food and water but.. I am still worried about it.. Apparently the person will be able#to get back to their house tomorrow but.. I dont trust them. But I couldnt take the cat with me because it's like.. a stranger's cat#basically and also no carrier + very skittish.. so I feared if I just tried to carry them bare handed they'd definitely leap from my grasp#and then it'd be like.. sliding on a sheet of ice chasing a cat and so on.. I still think they need to be watched for health issues tho >:|#ANYWAY.... many cat adventures lately... and strange weather... I wish for a normal week without always so many Things Happening.. augh
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outfit inspiration collage of the new year, 2024 fashion
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A little casual star themed costume sort of thing ? hmm
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Hrmm... Revising my game and I feel like there's still sooo much writing left to do, for something that probably won't even amount to much, so.. I do want to narrow my focus more (especially given my health problems seeming to get worse/less energy the past few years), but I'm not sure how would be best to...
I currently have 5 characters as the Main ones with full planned questlines and such, with each character having 6 quests you can do for them. But I haven't really started the writing for the 5th main character. So then I was thinking, if I were going to write 6 full quests worth of content anyway... is it better to allocate that time on just doing a Complete 6 Quests for ONE single character, OR would it be better to do something like.. choose THREE side characters and do 2 quests for each of them? So that people have a wider variety to interact with and sort of sample around (of course with the idea that, once the first version of the game is released, IF people actually care about it enough to make it worth the effort, I would then add additional content to complete those 3 characters stories as well)
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SO... If you were playing an interactive fiction sort of game centered around talking to & doing quests for a cast of characters (like there's no larger plot, more it's just about interacting with people, every character kind of has a self contained story, the focus is just learning about them and the world and exploring the area) --- Which would you rather have?
(and of course it would be stated up front which characters have only partial questlines, so people don't expect them to have full quests like the others and then get disappointed, or etc. etc.)
Basically, is it better to just focus in specifically on having one fully complete questline? Or for there to be a few stories that are not complete yet, but have more initial options available?
#I guess I just feel weird about investing too much into characters if possibly nobody will like them. so the idea of being able to sample#around a wider variety opens up the option of like 'hey even if neither of these 4 are your favorite - you have 3 other options soon too!'#or whatever. BUT I also am very anti-the trend of releasing half finished games or shit like that where people preorder and then#the game sucks on actual release and isn't fully playable or good until 5 updates later#HOWEVER.. those are giant companies with hundreds of employees and millions in funding. I feel like it's different for someone#if they're just like ''hey I am getting zero money for this and doing it entirely on my own in my free time and before I do like 50+ hours#of work on top of the 100+ hours of work that I already did - I would like maybe to at least see some proof#people are interested in this - so I'm releasing the game with like a small amount of the originally intended content removed#that I still have planned out and hope to add later and the game is still entirely done and completely functional#except for just a few quests I might add later.. sorry'' etc. etc. ??? like I think that's different. but maybe some people dont see#it that way and would still be like 'grrr.. how dare there be unfinished options..>:V" idk#And the nature of the quests is such that it's not weird to have it be partial like.. again.there's no major plot. it's not like the quests#are leading up to some dramatic thing and having them half done would make it feel like a cliffhanger. It's meant to be very casual just#chilling and doing little tasks and such. And last thing to clarify I guess - by 'side character' I don't mean taking some unimportant bac#ground character and forcing them to have quests. I mean like.. originally the game had 8 full characters and I thought that was#too much so I cut it down to 5. So I still had everything planned for all the side characters too. Id' just be like.. re-giving them#quests and focuses that were already planned from the beginning but that I got rid of.. former main characters banished to the side lol..#ANYWAY... hrmm... hard to decide... It's just so niche I think. I feel more and more like I should just get it to a 'proof#of concept' state and get it out there to interest check rather than invest in it soooo much for nothing. Because I really do not have the#tastes other people do or interact with games or have interest in things in the same way. A lot of the stuff that I love (slow. character#focused things with basicaly no action or plot where its' just about getting to explore a world and learn about#people in a casual low stakes setting but ALSO not romance) I think people find very boring so... lol...#This year as I try to pick the project back up again after abandoning it for like 3 years I keep looking at stuff and going.. ough...#yeah... cut this maybe.. I should cut that too.. I should make them a side character.. remove this.. blah blah..#Though I did ADD a journal and inventory system and other things that like People Expect Games To Have so.. maybe#that will count for something.. hey..you can collect items.. it's not just 'talking to elves for 600 hours simulator'.. are you#entertained yet? lol.... When I was making my other tiny game for that pet website and I gave it to the play testers and someone was like#''it should have achievements so I feel I'm working towards something concrete'' I was literally so blindsided like..??... people WANT that#in games..? is the goal not simply to wander aimlessly &fixate on world/character lore& make your own silly pointless personal goals? I did#do them though because it IS fun to make up little achievement names and such but.. i fear i am out of touch so bad lol..
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BABY SON LIGHT BEAM ATTACK ACTIVATED
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