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illiana-mystery · 11 hours
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Oh look, it's Wednesday!
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illiana-mystery · 11 hours
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Anyone else really excited for Kinds of Kindness?!
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illiana-mystery · 3 days
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Hello, you handsome, handsome man.
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illiana-mystery · 4 days
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I love everything about this photo 😳
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illiana-mystery · 5 days
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Detective Havenhurst, My Son, My Son What Have Ye Done? (2009)
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illiana-mystery · 7 days
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I'm still obsessed with this photoshoot. 🥴
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illiana-mystery · 8 days
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Took another stab at this old drawing.
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illiana-mystery · 8 days
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Old Outlaws: McCall and Cribbens
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illiana-mystery · 8 days
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🤩🤩🤩
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illiana-mystery · 12 days
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Aww! ☺️
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illiana-mystery · 14 days
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Hey guys! Sorry I haven't been as active on this blog or writing as frequently like I have in the past. Life has been a bit rough for me this year. But I'll leave it at that.
I am working on some stuff in the background, but for now, here's the first chapter of a fic I had on hiatus for a while.
Hope you enjoy! Happy reading! Oh and I will post this and a chapter 2 to my AO3 later. 😉
---
Eye of the Beholder
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Plot: After a rough performance filled with jeering and insults, you (Beatriz) are hesitant to get back on stage. However, you know the show must go on lest the circus you work for lose money. Luckily, the Ringleader of the circus (and your secret crush), Clem Hoatley, comes to your trailer to talk it out with you. And he also brings you roses and compliments you. Does that mean that he likes you too? Guess you'll see soon.
SFW, Plus Size Reader, Friends to Lovers, Crushes, Hurt and Comfort, Body Positivity, Mild Bullying, Budding Love, Protective Lover
Taglist: @ghnaim24 ​, @imwithyoutiltheendofthelinebucky ​, @iobsessoverfictionalmen ​, @emily-ella-nightshade89 ​, @goodoldcharley ​, @writingkitten ​​, @dreamlikedesires ​
---
The joyous sound of innocent child-like laughter and orchestral music invaded the trailer you now sat in.
It was quite the contrast to your melancholy and sense of dread, but still quite nice to hear. Although the tears still ran down your face.
You knew it shouldn't have effected you like it did, but yet it had a stranglehold on your psyche.
Yesterday was just a shitshow of a performance for you and it lingered in your mind as you prepared for your performance today.
The crowd was just nasty and rude, making fun of your ailment instead of just enjoying your uniqueness and talent like before. You never had that type of response, so it hurt even more.
But you couldn't help that you were overweight and had a full beard.
You had a condition.
A condition that was incurable.
And since joining the circus, you were more accepted and felt better about your condition.
You thought you escaped ridicule when you ran away from home at the dawn of your adulthood, but alas, it was back.
Back with a vengeance.
Your tears fell even more as you looked at yourself in the mirror.
For once in your adult life, you felt ugly in your own skin.
You couldn't help but notice how discolored your skin was, how plump your stomach was, and all of the cellulite that was exposed from the leotard and leggings you wore to perform.
You felt nautious just from glancing at your unflattering body, but tried to ignore it while brushing your hair with the antique brush that once belonged to your deceased mother.
Your beautiful, healthy, skinny mother.
Your mother that never struggled with her weight and looks. You envied her, even beyond the grave. And that just made you even more sad.
That was until you heard a knock on your door. You jumped, afraid of who was on the other side of the door.
You only had two friends at the circus, after all.
Those friends being Electra, the Electrified Lady, and Clem, the Ringleader.
And unbeknownst to you, at the time, it was Clem that was at the door.
The older man, that you had a massive crush on, was more than concerned about you. He saw how hurt you were after last night's performance. And he finally had the courage to tell you that you didn't have to perform tonight if you weren't comfortable.
The last thing he wanted was for you to get more hurt.
Sure, he would be losing money, but your feelings were more important to him than that. And if he had to host more geek shows to make up the lost revenue, he happily would.
"Beatriz, it's me, Clem," he softly said. "Can I come in?"
You blushed, and quickly replied,
"Yes, please come in. The door's unlocked."
The Ringleader came in immediately after he was granted entry, with a dozen roses clutched in his wrinkled hand. He was more than excited to give them to you, hinting that he really liked you.
But you were more than oblivious, despite how sweet Clem always was towards you. He always complimented you and gave you little gifts. You just thought he was being nice, but were still more than appreciative of his kindness.
And you didn't even notice him staring at you while you were still brushing your hair to put it up into a ponytail.
He had to stop himself from licking his lips as he gazed at your voluptuous body.
Every flaw you hated about you, he loved.
He really loved.
You were absolutely gorgeous to him.
He always liked his women bigger and your beard was quite charming to him. If anything, it highlighted your cheekbones and eyes.
But he didn't want to come on too strong, afraid that you would reject him for being an old geezer. So he approached you as a friend, even with his romantic gift of roses.
"Sorry," you apologized after you realized you were basically ignoring him while fixing your hair.
Slowly, you turned around and noticed him sitting on the chair nearby while the roses were on his lap. He only smiled at you before you sat down on the chair next to him.
"Are those for me?" you curiously asked.
"Yes," he said before he handed them to you. "You deserve them. You are my best performer after all."
"Thank you for the roses. I appreciate it. But you don't mean what you said," you scoffed. "I mean Electra is much better and actually attractive unlike me."
Clem made a face when you said that. He really didn't like you putting yourself down.
"Why? Because she's skinny?" he asked. "There's nothing wrong with you, Beatriz. There's nothing wrong with having more meat on your bones."
"I beg to differ," you moaned, turning away from him.
"That's actually why I came to check on you," he suddenly said. "I was afraid that you let those horrible people make you feel bad about your condition."
"No, they didn't make me feel bad. They just made me realize that I'm ugly and always will be."
"That's not true," he declared, as he took her hand. "That's not true at all, Beatriz. And you know that. There's nothing wrong with you."
"Clem, you don't have to lie to me," you insisted. "I appreciate your kindness, but you don't have to be untruthful to spare my feelings."
You started to cry again after that, breaking Clem's heart even more. He really did hate seeing you like this, but he knew a good way to comfort you.
That being all the love and affection he could muster in his cold, old heart.
So after swallowing his pride, he hugged you tight as your head fell against the cotton of his shirt and the flax thread of his left suspender.
His body felt warm and comforting too, which made you feel a little better. He had never hugged you before, so you did enjoy this little moment of weakness in his case.
"Clem, why are you doing this?"
"Because I care about you, kid," he said in his more assertive tone. "And because I care about you, I wanted to let you know that you don't have to perform tonight if you don't want to."
You shook a bit in shock, before looking up at him with wild, bewildered eyes.
"What? No, Clem. I have to."
"No, no you don't. You don't have to perform if you're not feeling up to it."
"I'll be fine, Clem. I can't just not perform. We'll lose money."
"I can host more geek shows if I need to," he insisted. "My chicken guy can supply me more chickens for that freak of nature if need be."
"I'm fine," you insisted while wiping your tears. "I just needed to let it out."
"Beatriz, you are in no shape to perform tonight. What if the crowd this time is just as bad or worse? I can't bear seeing you worse than this."
"I'll manage. I don't want to inconvenience you, Clem. I owe you for letting me live and work here anyway. You didn't have to do that for me."
"You're right. I didn't," he agreed after moving a loose strand of hair from your face. "But I'm glad I did. I'm very proud of you. You aren't that shy young woman any more and your performances have only gotten better."
"Thanks, Clem," you said with a noticeable blush on your cheeks. "You're much too kind to me."
"I'm not kind enough, honestly," he said with a visible blush on his cheeks too. "But if you insist on going out tonight, then I suggest you ignore any ignoramus that wants to insult you. Half of those chumps don't even know about real beauty. After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Never forget that."
"Wow, that's very profound, Clem."
"Thanks," he said with a snicker. "Now, would you give me the honor of escorting you to the big top? The show's starting soon."
"Sure. I would love that."
He smiled, before he took a rose out of the bouquet and put it on your hair.
"I think that accentuates you cute outfit more," he cooed, making you giggle.
"Oh, thank you."
"Ready now," he asked, extending his hand out.
"Yep, I'm ready."
"Ladies and Gentleman, boys and girls, feast your eyes on the greatest wonder in this world," Clem dramatically said as the spotlight hit you where you sat in the middle of the big top.
"Here before you today is a woman like no other. A woman with the strength of 60 men, the aerodynamics of a hawk, and the grace of a swan. Please put your hands together for the voluptuous vixen herself, Beatrix the Bearded Lady!"
On que, you got up and smiled at Clem before you began your performance. Like normal, you began with an intensive interpretive dance, purposely exerting your body to both stretch and impress.
After the warm up, you began to do the "aerodynamic stunts" you were known for. Stunts that involved jumping from high heights, basic acrobatics, and lifting heavy objects.
You did it all flawlessly, and luckily tonight the crowd was much nicer and very entertained. You even got a standing ovation.
You bowed reverently at the audience, before peeking over at Clem.
His face was deep red as a big smile appeared. He was so happy to see you content and treated right by the audience.
It absolutely tickled him pink.
So you smiled and waved at him, before going behind the curtain to cool off. Gently, you sat down before a voice rang in your ears.
“Beatriz!” the voice called out. You turned around to find the voice, only to see your other friend making her way over to you.
“Electra!” you chirped before the brunette woman hugged you as tight as she could.
Immediately, you noticed she was in her usual tight electricity-proof rubber suit while her long hair was tied up in a bun. Her makeup was also on point like usual.
“Bea, you were amazing out there! I'm so glad you decided to perform today. I hoped you didn't let those fools get you down.”
“Thanks, Elle,” you started. "But I did let the fools get to me. Clem made me feel better when he checked on me earlier, though.”
“I should have known Clem helped you out,” she said with a smirk before looking over at the Ringleader.
He had just announced their fire eater, Ian aka Fuego, to the stage so he was off to the side.
Curiously, his eyes moved to the open part of the curtain just so he could see you again. But instead, his eyes caught Electra’s.
He embarrassingly blushed and then went back to watching Ian.
“What do you mean?” you asked her.
“Oh, Bea, is it not obvious?” she softly asked.
“Is what obvious?”
“That Clem has feelings for you.”
“No, he doesn't like me. I like him,” you admitted. “Why would he like me? I'm not pretty like you.”
“Bea!” Electra scolded you. “Don't say that. You're gorgeous. Beard and all. Just because you're different, it doesn't mean you're ugly. Besides, Clem admires your uniqueness. I know this to be true. He only dates circus performers. I've known him a little longer than you have. Even with other performers he's liked, he's never been as charming and sweet to them as he has been to you. You really melted his cold heart.”
You blushed.
“You think so?”
“I know so. You'll see soon enough. I'm rooting for you two though. You would be cute.”
“That was Fuego the Fire-Eater,” Clem announced to the roaring crowd. His assistants came out soon after to set up Electra’s set as he began to introduce her, “Now feast your eyes on this…”
“That's my que. I'll see you after I'm done, Bea,” she said to you before hugging you again.
“Break a leg!” you yelled to her.
“Thanks, I will,” she replied back, smiling at you before she met Clem in the middle of the big top.
“Welcome Electra, the Electrified Lady!” Clem cheered. You watched as your friend bowed before the applauding crowd and then took her seat on her set.
She was surrounded by coils and lightning rods like usual, and had her confident smile on as Clem’s assistants helped her with her performance.
And Clem excitedly narrated everything, getting the crowd even more hyped as her performance went on.
However, you did notice him subtly looking over at you as you were watching your friend. He would smile and wink at you when he was in between narrations.
It made you blush, but you just acted like it didn't mean anything.
Sure you trusted Electra, but you didn't want to get your hopes up.
Her performance lasted another five minutes before she met you backstage again.
You hugged her as soon as you could reach her before congratulating her on another stellar performance.
“Aww, thanks Bea. It was nothing,” she insisted. “It's the same routine. I wish I could switch it up some more.”
“Maybe I can help?” you suggested.
“Sure. I wouldn't mind the help. But let's worry about that tomorrow. I'm tired and hungry,” she replied before asking, “Want to go back to my trailer? I can get Roger to go into town to get us some food.”
“That sounds amazing,” you responded. “Let's go.”
The two of you walked out of the big top performer entrance with your arms linked together. You both were gossiping about your coworkers and giggling in between as you made your way to the trailer.
The moon was high, the wind was calm, and you had not a care in the world.
You finally felt at peace with yourself again.
That was until you heard hurried footsteps behind you.
Both you and Electra were alarmed by it but before you could look behind you, you felt a sharp pain in your back above your leotard.
Your shaky hands moved over to the pain and your fingers picked at the mush of a tomato.
A tomato that now stained the back of your leotard.
“Eat your vegetables, fatty!” one of the assailants jeered at you.
It wasn't even a clever remark, but it still enraged you. Swiftly you turned around to face him, only to be hit with another tomato.
Electra was frozen in confusion at the attack, so she could do nothing before the three teens started to pelt you with more tomatoes.
You screamed and tried to grab Electra and run away but they were faster.
“You really think you're wanted?” one of them asked.
“Why does that weird old man even keep you around? You're more of a freak than that geek,” another insulted.
Clem heard the commotion when it first started, but had to wait for the next performers to come out.
Once the acrobats started, he told one of his assistants to take over for a minute before he went to see what was going on.
He followed your and Electra's screams for help until he found the teenagers trapping you two in the corner of an alley.
Slowly he approached behind them, grabbing the wrist of the main antagonist before he could throw again.
He paused in fear of the sensation of the wrinkled hand tightening around his wrist. And the other two gulped as they looked Clem dead in the eyes.
The older man knew these hooligans all too well and was quite feared by the three.
He had hoped that they weren't behind the attack, but he also wasn't surprised.
They were the ones that started the crowds jeering and snarling at you the night before.
“Oh, hi Mr. Hoately,” the main boy said, fear deep in his voice.
Clem hissed at him before asking,
“You didn't torment my friend enough yesterday?!”
“Well, no sir…we were just playing a game…”
“Don't look like any game I've ever seen. And it doesn't seem like my performers are having fun playing this game either.”
“Oh that's just…”
“Save it, Matthias,” he snarled before he snatched the tomato from him and tightened his grip around his wrist.
“Oww, Mr. Hoatley, you're hurting me.”
“Oh, it's just a little bruising you'll get. Nothing too serious,” he teased. “Now beat it before I call the Sheriff and your parents. And I better not catch any of you on the premises of my circus again.”
He let go of his wrist after before they all fearfully ran away from the scene.
You were crying again by the time Clem reached you to comfort you. Electra was trying to calm you down first, but then relented once Clem put his arms around you.
“You alright, Beatriz?” he softly asked.
“I am now. Thank you for saving us.”
“Of course,” he happily said. “I care about you girls.”
Electra warmly smiled at the Ringleader, before saying,
“I'm sorry I didn't do more, Clem. It's just you told us not to fight the patrons and I panicked and…”
“It's okay, Electra. Those boys won't be bothering you two again. Also you were allowed to fight them if you had to. The Sheriff would have taken our side. Our circus brings a lot of revenue to this town.”
“I'll remember that,” she softly said.
“There, there, Beatriz. I won't let go until you want me to,” he assured as you kept crying into his shirt.
“Clem, they were insulting her again,” Electra told him.
“Right. Well it doesn't matter what three snot-nosed kids think. They wouldn't know true beauty if it hit them in the nose.”
“I couldn't agree more,” she responded.
“Beatriz, there's something I've been meaning to ask you,” Clem suddenly said after.
“Yes?” you asked, raising your head to meet his eyes.
“Would you like to accompany me to dinner tomorrow night…say around 9?”
Your heart started beating fast when he asked that.
Did he just ask you out on a date?
You couldn't believe it. Was this a dream? It had to be a dream, right?
“Clem, are you asking me on a date?”
“Yes, that's exactly what I'm doing. I like you a lot, Bea. I just had to find the courage to ask. And I think right now is the best time.”
The biggest smile appeared on your face before you looked over at Electra who was also excited for you.
“Well, what do you say? It would make this old man very happy if you said yes.”
“Oh, Clem. Yes, I'll go out with you tomorrow night,” you happily said before you hugged him again and kissed his cheek.
He blushed after you kissed his cheek, before he kissed yours.
“I'm so glad you said yes,” he chirped. “You're the most beautiful woman I've seen in a long time.”
You blushed.
“Thanks, Clem. I'll see you then.”
“See you then,” he said after he let you go. “I have to go back to the big top, but Roger will be around if you need anything. You girls have a good rest of your evening.”
“Thanks, Clem. We will,” you chirped before he left you two alone.
You both screamed in delight after, just giddy that it finally happened.
Electra was right.
He did like you.
He always liked you.
“I told you he liked you,” Electra teased as you began your walk to the trailer again.
“I know. I should have listened.”
“It's okay,” she gently said. “Trust me. I know what it's like to doubt my self worth and esteem too. But Clem's right. You're a beautiful woman who deserves happiness and love. And I think Clem is willing to provide that for you.”
“I think so too. But I don't know what I'm gonna wear.”
“How about this…you help me with my routine changes and I'll help doll you up for your date. Deal?”
“Deal.”
“Good. Now let's stop at your trailer first so you can change. And I'll take your leotard and clean it. I have a trick to get these tomato stains out that my mother taught me.”
“Okay. And thanks. You're a life saver.”
“Of course. What are friends for? Also we need to flag down Roger. I'm getting hungry.”
“Same,” you replied before you both started giggling.
---
Stay tuned for Chapter 2 where Beatriz and Clem go on their first date to Clem's favorite diner. It's gonna be a lot of fluff and some smut. 😉😊
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illiana-mystery · 14 days
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🎬 📸
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illiana-mystery · 17 days
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Sunday Best
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illiana-mystery · 20 days
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Truly breathtaking 💙
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illiana-mystery · 22 days
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Standing pretty.
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illiana-mystery · 25 days
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U Want One?
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illiana-mystery · 27 days
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He was giving his all in this performance.
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