I write bad fanfiction - Ao3 • she/her | 26 • DD/lg drabbles and stories • feel free to send any requests
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You're telling me a ginger bred this man?
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youd think id get used to being human after all this time
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𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒈𝒊𝒇𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒚 𝒃𝒂𝒓𝒃𝒆𝒓 (46/??)
#house husband steve realising you left your lunch at home#and now he has to drive to your office#but thats the opposite direction of the store#and will take at least 30 minutes which means hes not going to have enough time to make fresh bread
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Gay culture is buying the ugliest shirt like this shirt is so ugly i l o v e i t
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Extremely displeased to announce I just opened my writing doc to find the fic has not yet written itself. Will check back in tomorrow to see if it’s made any progress
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daydreaming about (nomad style) mean daddy biker!steve: he mocks you for trying to fit both his balls in your mouth, he said if you can then he’ll finally give your puffy clit a break 😣 he’s been such a bully and you haven’t come for days !! he loves when you’re all needy and following him around like a lost puppy, almost as much as he loves winding you up in front of his friends 😵💫
he’ll show up to their guys night at the bar with you on his arm (breaking one of the rules about guys nights: no girls! but it’s ok bc you’re the cute, sweet and soft exception) he can’t help but smirk when you get squirmy and jumpy bc he’s tracing up your thigh to the creamy mess between your legs—he jerked off into your panties and made you wear them: “oh no, are they too tight for you, baby?” maybe they were, but he bought them for you! (with ulterior motives) “don’t worry, daddy will make them more comfy for you.” He said, unbuckling his belt, “pull them down for me, doll.”
🫡 @comfortcap PUFF PUFF 🫡
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Do I actually want to write this fanfic or do I just want to wallow in the delicious daydream like a pig in the mud?
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Weird how “masturbating and falling asleep in the late afternoon” isn’t regarded as a cherished summertime tradition
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Steve constantly worried about your cold feet. Making sure you always have socks on, rubbing them when your laying on the sofa watching TV, and trying not to jump everytime your frozen toes brush his legs under the covers as night.
#also steve buying the fluffiest fucking socks for you#taking to bruce because hes genuinely concerned#bruce telling him to speak to the right kind of doctor and then ignore him to go back to his microscope#steve asking bucky at a bit of a loss#bucky being the only one to think about the ice steve was in and why that would worry him#bucky talking to you about it#wearing the socks and letting him worry about you knowing it makes him feel better knowing your warm#...#my feet are cold ok and theres no supersoldier here to warm them up
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I never bothered to post this whole story here because it did so badly, but the whole finished story is on my ao3
Bring your kid and his entire decathlon team to work day
Summary : Peter is so close to graduating, he just needs the world not to end for a few more weeks and he’ll be done with High School. Clearly Thor didn’t hear his prayers (or didn’t care) because a field trip to the Avengers Tower is about to be announced. Peter could only imagine Loki was involved some how because it seems like every Avenger is in the building this week.
Essentially the team take every opportunity to embarrass Peter like the adoring over protective parents they all are.
Warnings : none
Ch 1 - Baby Proof Protocol
Ch 2 - How bad could a Monday even be?
Czytaj dalej
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Me: seriously though its time to pull my shit together
Me 7 months later: seriously though its time to pull my shit together
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So apparently this still pisses me off. Merlin BBC made ALL the wrong choices.
They had struck gold okay? This show could have been SO GREAT (the actors of the four central characters of Merlin, Arthur, Guinevere and Morgana were all SO TALENTED, they made us fall for their characters so easily), but for some godforsaken reason they REFUSED to go for the actual payoffs.
They made promises that were never delivered on. Constantly.
Like. The central theme of the show was the fact that Merlin had to protect Arthur because Arthur was destined to be a great king who would stop the persecution of magic. And in the name of that future hope Merlin committed atrocities against his own kind on more than one occasion.
And that's fine (well not 'fine', but it makes for an engaging and tragic story, where Merlin has to sacrifice his own soul for the good of the future of his people).
But that only works if at some point he actually started to bring Arthur around to the fact that Uther was WRONG to outlaw all magic. That works only if at some point Merlin had actually TOLD ARTHUR that he was a Warlock, or if Arthur had found out on his own in some other way and Merlin had to scramble to regain his trust and prove to Arthur that magic wasn't inherently evil.
And no, the literal series finale DOESN'T COUNT.
And then there's the way they utterly failed Morgana's character.
First of all they should never have turned Morgana evil off screen (I'd argue that they shouldn't have turned her evil at all but I could have forgiven it if they didn't do such a one-eighty with her).
What they should have done was that after Merlin's betrayal of her trust, they should have made her into the antagonist. And they should have had Morgana finding out that Merlin had magic, that he'd had magic the entire time when she'd needed his help most.
And no, THE LITERAL SERIES FINALE DOESN'T COUNT.
They could have made it so that she wanted the same thing Merlin wanted, except that Morgana would refuse to WAIT for this golden future, instead fighting for it herself. They should have spent seasons having Merlin and Morgana utterly and fundamentally disagree about how to go about saving their people.
Because Merlin has faith in Arthur and Morgana doesn't.
Because she refuses to sacrifice the present for the future, because where Merlin sees sacrifice Morgana sees cowardice. Because Uther deserves to die and every day he lives is another day that an innocent person with magic could be burned alive in the middle of Camelot.
But no, Merlin poisons Morgana and now she's evil, and wants to be queen, and tries to kill Gwen, and is more than happy to kill Arthur, and turns soldiers onto the people of Camelot. Because that absolutely makes sense with what had been established about Morgana's character (cue the sarcasm).
And don't even get me started on how they utterly destroyed the friendship between Gwen and Morgana.
Gwen was always the integrity of the series, the one who could have brought the rest of them back to the negotiations table when it all broke down because Merlin had taken too long to speak the truth, and Arthur felt too betrayed to listen, and Morgana was too proud and disillusioned to have hope. Gwen would have been the one that brought the light back to the future because everything else might have been broken between them but they all still loved and trusted Guinevere.
It could have been AMAZING.
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I love your writing and your blog and I completely mean no harm, just wanted to let you know, if you didn’t know, that Bucky’s last name is spelt like ‘Barnes’ with an e, not ‘Barns’. 🙃
Haha thank you for letting me know. I did know that so I'm not sure why I've done it wrong.
Honestly after the whole Pam and Tommy thing I don't feel like writing Bucky stuff anyway
#asks#anon#bucky barns#oh yep there it is#im not going to changes all if those lol#ill blame the dyslexia
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Passionate about little baby potatoes baked with garlic, butter, rosemary, and sea salt
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PSA to Real Person Fiction (RPF) Writers
Had trouble pasting the video here, but @ao3commentoftheday posted this video about this announcement from Channel 4.

You can view Channel 4’s Twitter post regarding their new show at the link below, but I recommend you to read the full article announcing Channel 4’s fan fiction puppet series.
Here is a quote from the article:
Channel 4 has commissioned a new comedy entertainment series from RDF seeing celebrities reading steamy fan fiction acted out by a cast of lookalike puppets.
In each episode of The Really Really Rude Puppet Show (w/t), Mel Giedroyc invites a different celebrity to read an erotic piece of creative writing where the celeb is the lead protagonist. Each character in the story is brought to life by a band of puppets voiced entirely by the celebrity and Mel.
According to @ao3commentoftheday, Channel 4 representatives are also already commenting on AO3 works asking writers to write RPFs for their show. AO3 is currently deleting the comments as spam.
What’s happening now is an issue in more ways than one. Beyond writers being exploited for their free content, their EROTIC fiction will be read out by their intended celebrity through puppets with the effect of making fun of the written content (nevermind the fact that it’s making fun of women and queer sexual expression) and potentially making these celebrities feel very uncomfortable.
It’s already mentioned in @ao3commentoftheday’s video, but TO ALL RPF WRITERS AND ESPECIALLY TO BRITISH RPF WRITERS—HIDE YOUR RPF WORKS, both current and future works.
On AO3, you have the option to private individual works so that they are only viewable to registered AO3 users (for those who are not AO3 users, your AO3 mutuals can send you an invitation). Tumblr also has settings to hide your blog from external search engines such as Google and only make it viewable to Tumblr registered users. I’m not sure what features are available on Wattpad or FFN in terms of hiding fan fic works, but if anyone uses those sites, please be sure to hide your RPF works from public view if possible.
As a fan fiction community, it’s especially vital now that we continue to prevent our works from being exploited and ridiculed.
Please jump in if there is anything I am missing—or something that I am saying that may unintentionally be misinformation.
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Soothing A Soul Chapter 2

Masterlist
Summary: Before Henry can select his omega he has to over see the crops arrival be relieved of duty and sign his own agreements.
Warnings: Fluff, anxiety, world building chapter, sliht jnfo dumping?
A/n: i loved writing this, i have enjoyed creating a world and history from scratch. The ideas behind this come from soo many different things its been fun stringing it all together. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed creating it.
Not beta read, please ignore typos
Henry had followed the crop through the lower levels onf the building carefully. His job was to over saw the slow yet methodical process of the humans being settled in to the selection chambers of the huge purpose built introduction center, aptly named 'institute of harmony'. It was a monolithic spiral shaped spire in the middle of Morithian sea. The calmest of seas on Astren and the most terran.
The water though dark was blue, a deep navy colour and the sky reflected the colour both bright and light yet deeply saturated. The hope was it would sooth the humans to see something reminiscent of earth as they ajusted to life on astren. Even the building had been based on those found on earth in a place called dubai, though this was ten times the size. And strictly for alphas acclimatising their human omega substitutes.
The institute itself was soemthing to behold even to the Xoumen. It was its own mini city, county even! Everything you could find on Astren was here. There were entertainment floors with everything from gaming centers to dance clubs. A leisure and hobby center that catered for human and Xoumen activities and health spas to keep omegas happy and relaxed. Then a few commercial districts which was a mix of human scale freindly restaurants ,grocery stores, toy and clothing outlets even a human brand called IKEA for human sized furniture and house wares to make life easier for the tiny beings and theh also delivered the furniturekto alphas homes outside of the institutewhich was very helpful. There was even a new retailer an adult retailer for thjngs to help intimate relations between alphas and their omegas which henry was looking forward to visiting at a later date. Thoough for the first few weeks he'd remain in the residential apartment wing and medical suite.
Humans always marvled at the huge institute with its high tech systems and eco freindly concept. But the one thing that seemed to wow the humans were the shift gardens. Half way up the main spire were four floors that ewere off limits until good weather. These floors unfurled outwards and circled the entire building for outdoor therapies and fresh air. The humans loved the colourful sweet smelling flowers and feather soft grass. But it was more desingned 5o break a mental barrier for them. The plants and animals coupled with the technology the gardens boasted helped the humans accept they were not on earth anymore. The stark realisation sometimes came with tears but more often than not they were to in awe of the fauna and wanted to watch the birds.
These gardens were beautiful, the most immaculate he had ever seen. But only the best was offered to the humans they were precious. The gardens also had small play areas used to encourage more movement. The quickler the himans healed after their trip and rebuilt strength the quicker they could leave the institute and travel to their alphas home and pack.
The main attraction in the gardens was a vast lake curling around the building like a moat, delicate water falls filling them. Not only a beautiful peaceful sight but also part of the entire buildings life support system. It provided electricity, fresh water and was apart of the cooling and air purifying system. When closed the water simply fell straight down the spine of the bulding.
Henry couldnt wait untill his own omega experienced it, even after selection she wouldnt be outside for two weeks, the gardens remained closed untill then the temptation was too great and the humans still had to acclimatise. As good as the travelling pod system was they cant recreate the exact atmosphere of astren. So they had to slowly wean the humans onto their own air. Luckily it was now automated through the building now. Unlike the first crop who had to endure the full force of outside two mineuts at a time, then five, then ten and so on untill they could withstand it permanently.
HIs mind drifted to his omega, he didnt know what she looked or smelled like. Hell he didnt even know if his was female! He only called her such becuase he was used to having a femal partner. Yet if the scne tthat called him was that pf a male he wouldnt care. He would love them regardless. He couldnt wait to meet her, to hold her and bond with her. The feeling of having such a small vulnerable being depend on him was just? He couldnt describe it. The need was ingrained into his very soul. It was instinctive, as natural as breathing! Yet it was skmething he and all other alphas head been suppressing and denying for so long. Too long.
He strode though the medical wards as the humans were all processed. None had failed their treatments as expected all were healthy and content. Some were being rushed into autonomy labs havng human medical devices removed. Pace makers and such were no longer needed here and the plastic would only degrade over time, its best to remove then and heal now rather then later.
As much as henry wished to keep walking the wards assessessing each human and make his own selection he couldnt. Not yet, he had work to do. Had to make sure each and every precious defensless bundle was checked, registered and comfortable in their basen ready for the alphas to begin their selection in the morning.
Hours later each human was acounted for, all of the data for each one uploaded to the chip ready for there alphas to collect and imprint on. Luckily the humans were resourceful. Every human had a number, the countries chose different ames for the number but it was the same as his citizen code. The number held your important information, age, ethnicity, place of origin, sex and any other official documentation educating, medical information. And with a few quick scans the humans were enrolled jnto the xoumen identification system, each ones file a delicate pale yellow. Omega.
Now they were all awaiting selection in their small basen cots. Patted down, their delicate muslces rubbed down trying to stimulate them so there was as little pain for them as they awoke. Each weighed down with a scent blanket draped over their slight forms to encourage as little movement as possible. Things ran much smoother now the program had been up and running a few sun cycles. Though this was the biggest batch so far to be recived. Henry was proud. He had helped orcastraight this whole thing and there had been no dramas. His race had a chance, real hope forma future.
Alphas needed the softness of an omega, they needed to protect and care for their omegas otherwise they go mad and becomd violent and twisted. So when the omgeas died out, the planet almost went to shit. Fights, drugs, war civil unrest and wave after wave of vicious violent crimes warped the planet and then soon after the packs began going to war over omega rumours. Entire neighbourhood demolished, packs slaughtered because an alpha just couldnt control his agressive nature any more. Alphas need the balance of a small soft mate, it gives them purpose and comfort.
And then the revelation. If we cannot have real omegas why not search for alternatives, substitutes. And the regime was set up, the Xoumens returned to their ancestors home galaxy; hoping that another planet had intelligent life forms that they could entice to return to astren with them. Low behold their ancestors had somewhat survived a cataclysmic event.
The Xoumen of old were reborn as human! They were a few thousand years behinde but they were alive and well. So the xoumens and humans came to a secret agreement. Xoumens woud purchase swathes of small humans to use as substitutes for the omega restoring balance and samity to their race.
And though the hours were long and the wait was painful and worrisome his time had come. Finally he was reporting in. The humans were all settled and safe. He gave the green light after one final sweep of the chamber and then the lights slowly brightened and the matron nurses were ushered out. His job was done and he had succeeded, and with that marked the end of his duty. Henry could make his selection and go home to his own pack.
He turned on his heel leaving through the large set of doors feeling proud and relieved, almost tearful. He had achieved something meaningful here, he'd perfected the process and managed to deliver 1000 humans, the largest crop so far. It had been tricky the forst two times there were small issues and unforeseeable complications but he had finally done it. He'd laid the ground work to his races future and behinde him was row upon row of small delicate beings, safe, healthy and in deep slumber resting in basin cots. The light s curve of the new beds supporting them perfectly, cushioning them in such a way there would be no sore spots on their soft frames a plush support cradling their neck gently.
He quickly hurried into the riser, what he learned humans called an elevator. A large curved peice of glass that clung to the side of the building and raced up and down the three hundred story institute of harmony. After reporting in and getting the all clear to leave his post he'd gone to his appointed apartment. Not only did he have,to retrieve his document chip and ticket confirming his right to select an omega but he also wanted to change his clothes.
Some humans get worried when seeing their alphas in their military uniform when they met. It was best to meet the tiny creatures out of work gear. He put alot of thought into his first meetjng outfit. Tight to shpw he was fit and had a pleasjng physic and soft. His tiny omeag wont beable to move much arpt first and will have her delicate skin pressed against him. He wanted only the most gentle fabric to touch her. He'd changed into the new clothes, the softest material available that he had spent a whole weeks worth of his deed credits on.
He eyed his reflection in the glass of the riser twisting slowly this way and that. He had a dark copper, russet colour sweater that felt like butter. Slim fitting and dark making him seem bigger then he was,subtle posturing something all alphas did when meeting their intended. And light cream pants again as soft as he could find. His hair was swooped back from his face in a natural mass of curls and his face freshly shaved.
The riser finally stopped on the floor below the selection chamber. The very same one he had patroled all day. He shook nerves reari g their head as his shoes clicked on the polished floor. One of the many advantages of being stationed here for the arrival was that he was here before the shuttles arrived with the other lucky alphas whod been chosen.
He strode up the the long counter his file chip and ticket in hand and smiled uneasy at the female behinde the desk. She nodded to him thanking him and took the chip slidi g it into the small slot before a holo screen popped up with all his information on it. With a few identity checks and linking his details tp the chip it was activate.
The woman pulled a small black band from a slot in the desk and ejected the chip and then sliped it into a concealed slit in the skin feel slim band. She held back a smile as his hand twotched, his eye glued to the coveted black band. Fingers twitching to grasp it and wrap it around his wrist.
"As im sure you know alpha Cavill i need to explain this to you as a civilian" the woman uttered holding up the baand in an almost teasing manner.
"Yes of course" henry uttered with a grunt, bitjng back severe warning growls that were bubbling in his chest. His eyes transfixed on his prize. The band was his ticket to the rest of his life. It too, everything in him not to snarl and snatch from the beta. She was only doing her job but it didnt make the whole danglig carrot scenario any less frustrating.
"This is your gateway to the rest of the building. You must have it on you at all times for identification purposes." She said finally handing him the slim bracelet. His fist curled arohnd it so fast he paused to check the woman still had her hand once he'd snatchedmit. She chuckled shaking her head probably used to this by now. It was an embarrassing truth but alphas couldnt help it, they lost themselves when it came to this natural instinctive pull. It made henry blush, he was acting like a spoiled pup. But the beta waved him off casually before continuing her scripted words.
"Once you select your omega they will have a smaller matching chip bracelet that will have your information on it as well as a corresponding number that matches yours for you to use as proof of your pairing." The words echoed aroh d himmas he quickly slipped the bracelet on his right wrist shaking a few times to make sure it was secure.
"Your chip will be used to access all floors, amenities and used to access your deed credit account. All activities, food and medically necessary threapy is free within the institute of harmony. Deed credits are only to be used for luxury non essential items in the commercial districts" he ry nodded apong with the mwoman prompting her to continue only casually aware that he was being recorded during the briefing. There had to be a record of him reciveing this introduction. It was actually his own idea to record aswell as thumprint and sign.
"This chip will also be needed to enter and exit your apartment. It will hold all personal details of you and your omega including all terran informaion of you omega.If lost please bring down your original selection notification so we can reprint you a new chip. All reprints are free as this is a necessity within the institute" Again he nodded knwojng all about the matching bands and information held on thhe chips as well as the way jnwhich he could use it to trakck and monitor his omega. It was when the woman paused waiting for him to verbally confirm he understood. Once he had done so she grinned at him.
"And norw for a bit of legality. alphas sometimes become overly protective of their newly aquired omegas. Should you feel this become an issue remain in your apartment until yourmbond strengthens and the aggression it passes. You must follow this step and inform us of the isolation." Henry blinked nodding. It was all he coild do, blink smile and nodd. He knew everything about the process, if he was honest he just wanted to throw his weight around and dive in. But he was a civilian now, off duty effectively retired! He couldnt evade the rules and run off into the selection chamber like a mad man. He wasnt an excepton, these were the steps everyone followed.
"Violence is not permited within the institute. Should we find you volatile and lack the restraint needed to maintain control of your aggression, and you did not take adequate steps to avoid violent outbursts. You will be seperated from your omega and removed from the institute." He flinched seemingly coming back from his impatience at the mention of having his omega taken from him. The thought was enouh to make his stomach drop. He'd never allow it, he'd kill them first, theyd really have to put him down to take her away.
"And last but not least, you must attend all medical appointments and follow all steps required by the program, if you are isolating due to territorial aggression you must inform us so we may make other arrangements for care and monitoring of your omega. Failure to infrom us will be seen as refusing care for your omega and you will be seperated from them and removed from the institute" he grunted but gave aanother nod. He understood, but the words left a sour taste in his mouth. His omega will remain with him until his dying day.
"Do you accept our terms and regulations?" The beta prompted knowing she needed verbal communication for the records.
"Yes absolutely" he spoke up quickly, hearing the tell tale chime of confirmation of the recording and then he was quickly directed to make an electronic thumbprintand signature on a slim box on the built in touch screen of the counter
"Great! Now all you have to do is go through those doors to my left and begin selection. Its advised to use scent to select an omega. There will be a small reader on the right hand side of your omegas bed. Once you make your choice press your chip to the reader and you will be able to pick them up and exit the selection chamber. Follow the signs to the wake ward where you will be guided by a nurse through the wakeing process" she woman quickly advised whislt moving her hand around the touch screens finalising the digital contracts and sending them to all the relevant people and services.
Henry hovered for a moment, his feet rooted to the spot as if he couldnt belive it was finally time. Slowly he pivoted to the left eyeing the doors, a strange awe inspiring feeling washed over him. Doubt excitement and fear all mingling with one another leaving him almost cathartic. He looked down to the hand clutching the black bracelet and moving his hands around it clumsily. Finaly he had the slim band around his left wrist letting the rubber contract around it. A tiny vibration signalled its activation. And with that he was all set. Ready to find his omega.
Fuck. was he ready? Wpuld she be everything he hoped for? What if he hurt her? Or she didnt adjust? Or she was still sick?! Oh god this was a big responsibility! He could fuck it up. Easily fuck this up, was he worthy of such a precious gift? He was borderline on suffering from territorial aggression already, its why he had been drafted into the military. He was a community alpha, a pack leader of his small holding and couldnt afford to let himself fall to his barbaric instincts. But was an omega really going to solve all that.
"Good luck alpha cavill" the beta said kindly snapping him out of the deep trance like state of worry. He smiled relaxing as the betas interruption quieted his mind. Silencing his worries just long enough for him to cross the few feet to reach the doors. He drew a deep breath and closed his eyes. He would let his nose lead him to the omega he was fated to find. He waved his hand over the doors handle, a small chirp rang out and he pushed forward crossing the threshold, he couldnt help feel as if her had just opened he door to his future, in a way he just had.
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