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Bucky: *sighs loudly*

Natasha: Babe, what’s wrong?

Bucky: You haven’t looked at me for 10 minutes.

Natasha: …We’re watching a movie.

Bucky: DID I ASK FOR AN EXCUSE?!

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Bucky: I hate people. Life sucks, nothing good ever happens-

Natasha: *walks in*

Bucky: A miracle has just occurred, my skin is clear, my arm feels better, I feel whole again.

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Bucky: If I died somehow, how much would you miss me?

Natasha: It’s funny how you think death will get you out of this relationship?

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Bucky: Nat is finally coming home from her week long mission. So, you know what I’m getting tonight?

Bucky: Yelled at. I’m gonna get yelled at.

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[Playing Dungeons & Dragons]

Bucky: I roll to steal Natalia’s heart.

Natasha: James you can’t-

Bucky: *rolls a twenty*

Natasha: …

Clint, the dungeonmaster: You have a spring wedding. Steve is James’ best man. I’m Nat’s maid of honor.

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Natasha Romanoff: Sam, keep an eye on Bucky today. He's going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.

Sam Wilson: Sure, I'd love to see Bucky get punched.

Natasha Romanoff: Try again.

Sam Wilson: I will stop Bucky from getting punched.

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(insp).

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[Natasha knocks on the door]

Bucky: You can't come in

Natasha: Why not?

Bucky: Because...uh... Sam is naked

Sam: What?!

Bucky: I couldn't say I was naked, because she's allowed to see me naked

Sam: Why does anyone have to be naked?!

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[Playing Dungeons & Dragons]

Bucky: I roll to steal Natalia’s heart.

Natasha: James you can’t-

Bucky: *rolls a twenty*

Natasha: …

Clint, the dungeonmaster: You have a spring wedding. Steve is James’ best man. I’m Nat’s maid of honor.

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Bucky: Natasha kissed me!!

Sam: [gasps] No!

Clint: [squeals] Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!

Bucky: It’s unbelievable.

Sam: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!

Clint: Okay okay, we wanna hear everything. Sam, get the wine and unplug the phone. Bucky, does this end well or do we need tissues?

Bucky: Oh it ended verrrry well.

Sam: [rushing over with wine glasses] Do not start without me! Do not start without me!

Clint: Alright, let’s hear about the kiss. Was it like a soft brush against your lips, or was it like a, y'know, “I gotta have you now” kinda thing?

Bucky: Well, at first it was really intense, y'know, and then… oh god, and then we just sorta sunk into it…

Clint and Sam: [squealing] Awwwwww!!!

(Scene changes to Natasha, Sharon, and Pepper casually eating pizza around the table)

Natasha: And uh, and then I kissed him.

Sharon: Tongue?

Natasha: Yeah.

Sharon: Cool.

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insp.

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Natasha: How do I look? Do I look all right? Bucky: You look beautiful. You are …beautiful.

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Bucky: Do I know romance, or what?

Natasha: What.

Bucky: I said, “do I know romance - ”

Natasha: - I heard you.

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(Bucky is sleeping in the couch next to Natasha, who’s on her phone) Clint: Hey, Barnes, my time for the couch! I got Mario Kart to win! (Bucky continues to sleep, and Nat smirks) I'll go tell them. Clint: - Bucky? Bucky? [goes to poke him] Natasha: - Clint, I wouldn't do that! (Clint finally startles Bucky awake, and he points a gun at him, that he’d had under his throw pillow on the couch) Clint: - No, no! Barnes, it’s me! It’s Clint! Bucky:…Oh, hey. I’m gonna go make some coffee. (Bucky kisses Nat in the cheek then gets up to go to the kitchen) Natasha(to Clint):…I told you. He's an angry sleeper. Like a bear.

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Bucky: Are you ready to commit?

Nat: Like, a crime or a relationship?

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Bucky : I win.

Natasha : I have you pinned to the ground.

Bucky: I know.

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Or what?

Insp: criminal minds