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Monta: I'm gonna kick your ass tomorrow. Taka: Please, you couldn't reach my ass to kick it.

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Marco: Hiruma does have a point. Hiruma: Don't agree with me. It makes me very uncomfortable.

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Akaba: It's our job to instruct and inspire. Sasaki: You just wanted to show off. Akaba: When I show off, it is instructive and inspiring.

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Hiruma: But really, Kurita there was no harm done. Kurita: They broke seven of your ribs and fractured your clavicle. Hiruma: Ah, but I got off several cutting remarks which no doubt did serious damage to their egos.

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Yamato: Wait a minute, how did this happen?! We’re smarter than this! Taka: Apparently we’re not.

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Agon: This is my emotional support animal. Unsui: It’s a goose. Agon: The emotion he supports is anger.

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Musashi, pointing at Sena: Where’d you get that? Hiruma: I found it. Musashi: I find that answer vague and unconvincing.

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Unsui: What are you doing? Agon: Making Kurita a “Get Better Soon” card Unsui: I didn’t know he was sick. Agon: He’s not, I just think he could be better.

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Did it hurt? When I told you to Google it and I was right?

-Akaba

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Hiruma: "Information is like a bottle of fine wine. You store it, you hoard it, you save it for a special occasion..." Hiruma: "And then you smash someone's fucking face in with it."

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Musashi: I need you to sober up. Coach Sakaki: First of all, rude. Second, gross. And third, why?

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Yamato: What's the most polite way to phrase "you fucked up big time and need to fix this now or else" in a professional email? Taka: "Hello, I hope this email finds you before I do"

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Mamori: Sena, what did you do? Sena: What do you mean, what did I do? This was very clearly a group effort.

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Agon! It hasn’t been the same without you. It’s been better.

-Hiruma

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Monta: Friends with benefits implies the existence of friends with consequences. Jumonji, looking at the other Ha Ha brothers: Oh, there are definitely friends with consequences.

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Riku: You can either come with me and live up to your full potential or lie here and live with the consequences. Kid: I wanna lie here.

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Musashi: Are you just gonna do stupid bullshit for the rest of your life? Hiruma: You mean like for football or, like, in general?