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[ipilates]

Twenty Twenty Two

This year has felt a little like resurfacing. I have made some fundamental changes, simplified many aspects of my teaching out of a necessity to teach from a place of balance, not burn out. I’m in my happy place in the garden studio, loosening the reigns on Mid Herts feels right.

I’ve also travelled more, connected with some incredible people and dived deep into some inner work. Perspectives have shifted, and I have put more value on my time and energy and my own personal self development.

GRATITUDE

Working with Maria Earle took me to Barcelona this year (three times). I will never stop learning and evolving as a teacher. I have studied pilates for nearly fifteen years, this year I dived deep into the realms of language and communication. It’s inspired me to begin creating a program for teachers. The subtle yet hugely powerful way we communicate our message, often overlooked in our training programs. the unspoken gift of connection and communication.

Little do you know how much you have taught me. Every student of mine (that’s probably you at some point) is teaching me how to teach better. Those that sometimes don’t understand my cues (you know who you are) are teaching me how to communicate better. Those of you that show up week on week, you are teaching me how valuable I am. Thank you, thank you. You are valuable to me.

SLOW DOWN

Rest. I’ve totally overlooked this for most of my adult life. I’ve valued striving, passion, purpose and forward motion, literally full steam ahead. This drive got me here, and I’m thankful. BUT I’m entering a new phase, I could write a book, the title would be “From Ironman to Couch” ( actually I am trying to write a book, “The Platinum Crucible” - is the current title, more on that another time). One thing this year has taught me, there is magic in slowing down, pure golden magic. Life is more expansive, your intuition surfaces and moments of pure serendipity start to happen. Slowing down, I can highly recommend it. Get outside, turn off your phone, spend five minutes noticing your breath, take three deep breaths, savour your coffee, wake up earlier, turn off noise, listen when you’re talking to someone, say no more often, practise gratitude….I know you know.

PRESENCE

The theme of presence has been a key player this year. I have been working on being more present for myself, turning inward, quietening the mind, sitting in more stillness. It’s a superpower to slow down, soften and to listen. To strive to listen more than we speak is a lesson we could all use from time to time. In my teaching, I hold space for you to soften around the edges, to listen, to become present in your own body, present with your own sensations and breath. This I believe is the gold we all love, Pilates gives us the framework to explore being present. I hope I inspire this lesson in you and I hope you can pass it on. How can you be more present in 2023?

“Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with Integrity” ~ Roy Bennett

[ipilates]

Summer (left pic) 2022. spring (right pic) 2022

Spring, Summer into Fall

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new” -Socrates

Summer is closing, and what a beautiful one it’s been in the uk. Unusually for me I took a little more time off than usual in August, I know it’s a valuable time for me to ‘chew the fat’. I tend to be way more creative in the light, long summer months and I’ve accepted a need to hunker down during winter, it’s all about survival mode and lots of sleep.

But here we are going into autumn, there’s a freshness in the air I adore. Personally, this is my new year, the transition that September delivers feels the right time to bring about any changes after a summer of lazy reflection. Forget New Years resolutions in January, who makes sane decisions in the middle of winter?

This year I have spent more time teaching from my garden studio, it feels right. It’s me and where I do my best teaching. At the home studio I teach privately and small groups of up to three people. We delve deep, get involved with all of the apparatus, it’s bespoke, transformative, healing and I see daily connections, mind, body and spirit.

It’s been a wonderful journey over the last 18 months, thank you Pandemic ;-)

Pilates at Mid Herts

Going back to Autumn 2013. ( I make the best changes around this time ;-), having moved house to Lower Gustard Wood, Mid Herts ( I love trees), serendipity found me our studio right next door! Literally a stones throw, after years of searching for the right space.

I’m super proud of creating a pilates studio that has held so many movement journeys. A safe space/container for me to connect, share, explore and teach. I have grown as a teacher, and most of you have grown with me. The space held me, it held you and I’m so grateful for the energy we created together at Mid Herts.

This year I invited Jo and Clair to come on board and share the space as I was being pulled to my home studio. They cherish it as much as I do, so it was an easy, natural transition. I can see them flourishing on their teaching journey and i’ts an honour.

So it feels right to me that they now hold that space. I am handing over the studio with love and hope that it can continue to flourish and heal. BUT! (I am keeping a few mat classes going so its not a final goodbye in that sense!) it’s just that lockdown made us all reevaluate, and personally I felt the need to simplify, recalibrate and evolve.

Working on a more personal level is my thing, holding and managing my own space is valuable to me. Having control and adaptability and less overheads feels safe.

I am working on writing, creative projects, teacher training/mentor programs and remaining very open to the next phase of my journey what ever comes about, my heart is open.

So it is with such gratitude to you all for being part of this incredible story, some of you ten plus years! I have actually thanked the space, I thanked her for holding me, for helping me to find my voice, to grow, to heal and find you.

It’s about the connections we make in life, I’m truly blessed.

i-Pilates HQ

So, apart from a select few mat classes remaining at MH, you’ll find me mostly here at home with Audrey staying true to the work, as ever committed to Pilates, welcoming you to my healing space.

What’s working well are my duo’s and I’m currently developing 3:1 studio lessons, All lessons here are bespoke to you, even if you are partnering up.

I’m just working on memberships / payment plans etc / timetable all the stuff I’m useless at but need to get my head around, patience please!

More importantly….

We move, we breathe, we find sanctuary and a moment in our day to quieten the mind, to pause and notice.

Heaps of love and gratitude💛

Jen

“What's dangerous is not to evolve.”-Jeff Bezos

[ipilates]

                    Patiently Waiting to Spring into action...

February 2021. The extreme cold snap has well and truly disappeared seemingly overnight. Today is a glorious ( dare I say it )  Spring Day. It’s been a tough, enduring time. Lockdown 3 has been the hardest so far, but we are getting through it and hopefully nearly out the other side. Still in a phase of ‘who knows’ but with a glimmer of optimism and an unmentioned solidarity of weathering this long Covid Winter. Taking each day as it comes, feeling each emotion as they arise and trying to keep a steady pace without overwhelm is the name of the game.

A story for you.

I was a weaver a craftsperson, I designed fabrics for interiors. Whilst studying at St.Martins College in London my Father made me a loom out of his mahogany desk. I love detail, construction, colour, design, alchemy, creativity and connection.

I am a Teacher, a Teacher of Contrology. I teach, I move, I paint, I write, I find flow. I’m lost and found in it all. My aim is to inspire others to explore a creative path where we connect to our bodies, our minds, our spirits and beyond. A journey of connections.

I have just finished building a home studio in my garden, 2020 was a year of adversity due to The Global Pandemic, I had to make some tough decisions to ensure I could carry on teaching my craft. It made me realise a deep rooted passion for Pilates wasn’t going to be dampened by Covid. So I found a way. I had to invest, I had to adapt, I had to surrender, I had to trust.

Back in 2008, my father gave me a platinum crucible ( he used them at work to melt metal in). I took it to Hatton Gardens and sold it. I walked round to Great Russel Street (Body Control Pilates HQ ) and paid in cash for my first ever training course in Pilates. Since then I have totally submerged my life in Contrology. I have been to movement like a magpie is to shiny things. I have worked with some inspirational teachers and students. I am an eternal student.

10 years later in 2018 I continued my education with Holly at PI Studios, London. The classical Pilates method united and cemented my passion. I have deepened my knowledge over the last 12 years and shaped a teaching career.

So here I am in my garden...

Creating a space to teach Pilates takes consideration, to develop a space that is more than just a space to move, takes heart and soul. Building a studio in my garden became an extension of myself and my home. My studio reflects me and my integrity to the method, hence choosing my apparatus from Pilates Scandinavia. Apparatus that is crafted beautifully by Fredrik with heaps of Pilates passion and love. 

The apparatus is your foundation, it teaches you everything you need to know. You feel and you listen to your springs, you connect with your Apparatus, my job is to inspire in you a joy of movement and play. The apparatus is your friend ;-) Its as integral as the four walls.

The Craftsman ( Fredrik ) who works in wood and metal, he builds our foundation. The Method ( thank you Mr Joseph Pilates ) guides us, a framework to explore. The Student ( you and I )  body, mind and spirit willing, open, and inquisitive. The Teacher ( me and you ) , the creator who inspires, lifts and connects. I learn as much from my students as they learn from me.

All that I have learnt I pass on with enthusiasm, passion and joy in a space that reflects my love for colour, design, nature, creativity and more importantly allows me to connect to others. It's personal, it’s love and is often a source of pure happiness.

This Winter has been the most inspirational winter. Mother Nature has put out some fine displays. The glorious pink sunrises that turned my bedroom a warm rose gold, albeit fleetingly. The sun melting down behind the trees, leaving a light so delicate that no colour palette could re-create. A snowy Sunday providing a welcome change to the landscape providing playtime and a respite from our four walls. Cold so extreme the roads turned really white, water pipes burst providing displays of icicles so beautifully breathtaking. I tuned into this winter deeply did you?

Lighter Brighter days ahead, today I felt the welcome warmth of the sun, and that is enough. Take a breath, really take a breath, feel it connect to nature. Complete the exhale all the way then you only have to receive the breath rather than take it. Give the exhale and receive the inhale. Moment to moment, breathe to breath. 

[ipilates]

Pandemic Pilates ~The Coronacoaster ~ The Majestic Deer

On the 24th March at 8.30pm our prime minister announced The Lockdown. We knew it was coming. We had been social distancing for a week. Coronavirus was killing hundreds of thousands globally, we had to take action.

I closed the doors on my pilates studio on Friday the 20th March. Nothing could have prepared us for the unfolding of this Pandemic.

There were many tears. I felt the weight of the worlds pain. I cried in frustration (trying to work with technology that I seriously had no clue about, to offer virtual online classes) and I cried from grief that ‘my work’ that I’ve poured my heart and soul into for so many years may end. I cried for people not being able to get essential food, for the elderly not being able to see their family, for businesses just shutting the doors. For families all over the world losing loved ones.

There have been moments where I lay there early morning, wide awake with the first bird song, the peace and stillness as the world wakes up of pure calmness, there is a faith that everything will be ok. 

Then suddenly, as the emails flood in, the news seeps into my soul, the anxiety starts to rise and that calm is quickly lost. And this is a process of grieving. Our lives will never be the same.

But perhaps this is our time, our opportunity to take stock, reevaluate and stop for a moment. Give Mother Nature a break after all we really haven’t been very helpful. Coronavirus has cut emissions faster than years of climate negotiations I’m sure (I’m no expert) and this could be the prompting we need to change our habits going forward. This could be a gift. I was to receive this gift very soon.

April 2020 Coronacoaster ;-)

A sunny day, I had taught my zoom classes with a little frustration but gratitude that I still had some wonderful support from an amazing community I have spent 10 years+ building. The days were a rollercoaster, so were the hours.

After the initial shock and a steep learning curve into this whole virtual teaching malarky, as mother nature rests, my heart and soul had been pulled into a Mac Book freaking air. Not what I ever imagined at all. 

But aside from salvaging some kind of teaching presence, I was fully aware there was a shift emerging.

I defined myself on what I could give, the more I gave the more it defined me as a Pilates Teacher. The more I learnt, the harder I worked, the rewards were many - watching people get out of pain, seeing movement transform peoples physical and mental health, lifting spirits, connecting people within a community, connecting people back to their own source of light, making lights shine brighter, making a difference.

 I left the studio and took myself off for a walk. I was feeling frustrated and sad at the loss of connection and community, financial worries were truly scary, never mind the threat of a potentially deadly Virus. 

My head was down, my ego was hurt, my mind was full of worry and anxiety. I couldn’t breathe. In fact I think I held my breath for a very long time. Boulders in my rucksack, shoulders heavy, heart heavy and vulnerable. I walked. I cried. 

Then the shift slowly started to happen, as always in Nature I feel connected, my eyes began to lift to the horizon and I start to notice The Beauty that surrounds me. I pass the spring lambs, still pacing but I slow down to notice how the baby’s run to their mothers for reassurance and milk. I pass through a kissing gate to a narrow track, either side is fenced, I am surrounded by woodland. Dense Trees, stillness, silence, I keep walking. An awareness, I start to find a rhythm to my breath. 

Then it happened. I heard ‘STOP’ in fact I didn’t hear it I felt it, I had to STOP. Right there and then I stood still. Abruptly. Halted. In the next moment I turned to look directly 90 degrees to my right and my eyes met the eyes of a Majestic Stag Deer. We were transfixed. We looked into each other souls. We froze in this quantum moment. Then, intuition led me to move just my eyes - being very careful not to move an inch of my body,  I scanned to the right of The Majestic Deer and there out of nowhere, in a line were five more, all looking directly at me.

It was at this moment that everything changed. I felt my physical form disappear and my soul absolutely shine like white light. I felt so connected that I became nothing and everything. I felt light, free, conscious, present and truly felt a deep down sense of overwhelming faith. 

So I am not my ego, I am not defined as a Pilates Teacher, not even as a Mother or a wife. I am just passing through making connections and that is good enough for me. I am all and nothing, I am nature, I am connection, I am light, I am good enough. Just that. Mother Nature yet again restores my faith. 

So today, April 30th still in Lockdown there is a light at the end of the tunnel, albeit very small. I am learning to ride the storm. My teaching hours of pre-lockdown of thirty hours a week are now just ten, I have time and space to be creative. My body is resting. I am taking stock and hopefully will rise again in a capacity that suits me better going forward. I have decided to do less to give more. There is a slight anxiety about returning our lives back to ‘normal’ as I truly believe it was time to stop, listen and become present.

To be gentle and to always choose peace and kindness, always.

Jen Day

[ipilates]

The Platinum Crucible.

~The power of Pilates, it’s outer and inner transformations, a very personal account.

“Learn from every creature and object within each moment of your experience, bless every mineral, plant, insect, animal and person you encounter and fully fill the moments you’re alive in - trust your skills, you know how this is done” ~ Guru Singh

I don’t know how many years The Platinum Crucible was in our possession. I most probably would have been around it in the early 1980’s as much as 40 years ago. As a small child I used to go to work with my Dad on a Saturday morning. I remember vividly the earthy smells, Metal, Grease, Chemicals, and damp acidity. Outside the basement lab there were skips filled with jagged metal, sheets, rods, cylinders, cogs, twisted poles all different thicknesses. Burnt orange puddles pooled at the door. Inside, never warm, monster like machinery with oversized buttons covered in soft plastic. Tools for measuring, hydraulics, grinding, melting, testing measuring machines often so noisy I’m not sure I should have been listening. Dad is a Metallurgist, he wore a white coat and always had a small blue betting shop pen behind his ear. It was such an alien environment but I loved it. It had an angular, pungent, uncomfortable, scientific, acrid, heavy, dense atmosphere. It was a fascinating place. We used to use the Photography Lab and develop our own photos, we weren’t really aloud ( and I’m sure I shouldn’t have been anywhere near it). It was absolutely magical aged six. I’ve loved photography ever since. Dad retires this year. He’s been in the same job since he left school in 1970.

Fast forward to 2006, I’m thirty one. I have two small children of my own, they are aged four and six, two of the most spirited little boys I’ve ever known. My marriage to my childhood sweetheart is over. We had been together for seventeen sweet years. Previously I had graduated from Art School with an honours degree in Textile Design, had a pretty lovely short career working in Knightsbridge for a creative genius ( slightly unstable and scary) I loved Chelsea Textiles. My first son Olly was born, I was twenty five and Jack came along two years and two weeks later. At thirty one my life took a swerve off the rails. My husbands affair. My breakdown. After a year of depression and therapy I began to pick myself up off the floor, just about. I’m occasionally still floored by it all even today.

I had lost myself, having failed at going back to my career pre children due to unrealistic expectations put upon myself. I lost just about everything. A family, my identity, my home, my security, and the one person whom had been loyally by my side since that first kiss on the 26th June when I was fourteen. I lost mutual friends, love, confidence and direction. All compounded and unbeknown to me at the time it woke up some very deep feelings of being abandoned as a child when my mum left, I was three years old. I grew up an only child just with my Dad for the majority of the time. I’ll leave you to ponder all of this but it isn’t really about all of that..its the story of The Platinum Crucible and how it came into my hands. ( you need a bit of background)

This is the story of how it came into my hands and how a gift can change the direction of your life. How this Crucible in a sealed plastic bag happened to me. It occurred to me yesterday as I was recounting this story that I akin the Crucible to the universe, a strong cup of the hands in which life can vibrate and be protected in. Platinum is a chemical element with the symbol Pt and atomic number 78. It is dense, malleable, ductile, highly un-reactive. My Dad used it to melt other metals inside as it has a very very high infusibility to any degree of heat. They last for years and years but eventually get replaced and ‘discarded’ in the top drawer of my Dad’s mahogany desk. Technically they should have been sent back but to protect my Dad’s integrity let’s just say they got ‘lost’ in his top drawer and sort of forgotten. Until one Saturday morning in the Kitchen Dad passes me a sealed plastic bag with the beaten Crucible. “Darling, go and sell this, its worth a few Quid” Looking at it you would have just trashed it, a burnt, out of shape bowl.

Dad and I grew up with very little. Money was extremely tight and we lived frugally and almost in fear. I felt the fear especially at the end of the month. Dad would be way more relaxed on pay day. I was brought up to value and look after our things. I started to earn my own money when I was twelve. I have always earnt my own money and always look after my possessions proudly. So that Saturday morning I politely thanked my Dad with a quizzical look and put the Platinum Crucible in MY top drawer.

After Olly was born my body was in poor shape. He was almost 10lbs, came out face up ( back to back labour, not ideal) I suffered Placenta Previa and would have bled to death if it hadn’t have been the year 2000 and in the presence of a skilled surgeon that was called out at 3am. Five days in hospital, several transfusions, infections, fever it was all a blur really, suffice to say it was a long recovery, given that at twenty five your body is supposedly at its ‘best’ to give birth. Very soon after I found Pilates or it found me. Physically it began to heal me. The method put me back together a little bit stronger than I was before, I then went onto have Jack two years later, he was born early morning and I was home eating Chinese takeout that evening, no complications, no drama. In 2001 my body and mind started applying the principles of Pilates, control, precision, coordination, centring, breathing and flow. Today 2020 I have been teaching the method for 10 years, thanks to The Platinum Crucible.

You see I was lost. I cried so many tears for weeks and months over my divorce. I was lost, my marriage was over, I had two small children. What held me loosely together was Pilates. I also ran like Forest Gump. I’d come down from the loft one day after looking through all of our photos. Sitting there in tears I opened the drawer and stared at the grubby sealed plastic bag with the metal bowl inside for a long time. Having faith in my Dads ability to know his metal I there and then made a decision, the next day I took a trip to Hatton Gardens. I remember feeling totally out of my comfort zone that day. Dad had given me an idea of its approximate worth and the first dealer I took it to declared without hesitation that it wasn’t platinum, “love”. I was almost ready to come home. I persevered and had nothing to loose so kept knocking on doors. Eventually I came away with the best offer just shy of £2000.

I then walked up through Holborn to Great Little Russel Street to Body Control Pilates HQ. Feeling slightly dodgy, with almost to the penny, in cash, the exact amount to pay for my first mat work teacher training intensive that spring.

At last I had a focus. I had an anchor. I had a direction. I wholeheartedly believed I could learn to teach a method that had transformed my body. I knew I could make it work, raise my children alongside and share the work with others. Little did I know how much teaching pilates would begin to heal me on many more levels than just physically. Pilates put me back together on so many levels. It has healed me from the outside in and still to this day it enriches my life beyond words. The connections I have made, the deep Passion and Joy that it provides, the intrigue, I am forever learning. I do what I do because I believe in The Method, in its power, in its inner and outer transformation capabilities, in its history and in its present. But I could have just honoured all of those things by being a student but thanks to my Dad and The Platinum Crucible I chose to become a teacher.

As Seneca said “Luck is when preparation meets opportunity”

But I still feel totally blessed.

[ipilates]

My WHY?

Rothko said “Painting is not about an experience, it is an experience”

My background was very much submerged in Art. In fact being creative saved me. Eventually weaving became my meditation and colour became my pure joy. I am a magpie for texture, form, detail, contrast and colour. I have an honours degree from St.Martins School of Art. I have been teaching Pilates for the last ten years, seems like I’ve digressed a little from my original plan…

Not really. I have been weaving my own magic. Today I am following a childlike instinct without following the guidelines of overbearing instruction. I am teaching instinctively and creatively. I am eliminating barriers between audience and canvas, between teacher and student. It hasn’t always been like this.

I have learnt, like making a piece of fabric the ‘end’ result you see is born out of a long journey of exploration and huge mistakes. As a weaver you are very much behind the scenes, I am an introvert through and through. I sat behind a loom and created something out of nothing. There was no Ego just a desire to create. Not even an end goal.

And so today as a teacher of movement I am creating something out of nothing. My Canvas is The Method born from a creative genius - Joseph Pilates, and day in day out I invite you to come and make your own brush strokes. I am fascinated by the process. And it is a process like creating Art, it is a passion and a faith.

We are embodied beings. From the moment we are born our bodies are essential to our learning, growth and relationships with others. Throughout our lives, our bodies and movements communicate much more clearly than our words. Pilates is embodied movement, a conscious, mindful practise creating space with the body, engaging with our creative movement potential.

Seeing. Process. Transformation. Results that never stop engaging me as a teacher. Pilates provides us with endless diversions and freedom from our everyday concerns. Immersion in Weaving and Pilates has given me freedom. And this I believe is my Why.

[ipilates]

Take it easy on yourself, sweet soul. You are doing much better than you think.

Notes on Menopause

Jen Day

Being stopped in your tracks

By the Menopause..

2014, aged 39, I lay on the bed sobbing. I hadn’t the energy, I had run out of steam. That year I had competed in Aix en Province half Ironman, I followed a five month training plan to the letter and trained for 18 hours a week. The seven years before I had been competing in Olympic distance Triathlons. I ran a Pilates studio, teaching for 30 hrs a week. I was raising two spirited teenage boys. I was tired, really tired. Looking back it was no wonder, but something wasn’t right. I have always had boundless energy, this year I also married Tim, my love, my biggest fan, support crew, steady step father, and all round best human being who stood shoulder to shoulder with me, and also dried my tears and told me I was doing a good job. 

As it happens, at 37 I started to feel drained, I kept coming over ‘all funny’, I was getting hot and bothered all the time, I was anxious, I felt every bit of sorrow in the universe, I had become emotionally super sensitive. I worried about the boys, not just general stuff like have they brushed their teeth worries, but astonishingly irrational worries. I worried about everything. I wasn’t sleeping as I was being roused out of sleep by a hot sensation that started in the palms of my hands and souls of my feet that radiated throughout my whole entire body. I once woke up convinced I could smell gas and that we should get the hell out of the house. I put most of it down to being over tired. It got quite crazy, I went to the Dr’s, they ran some blood tests. And boom there it was Oestrogen levels way low, I was going through the Menopause.

I wasn’t a sporty child or adolescent. I was artistic. I have an Arts degree, arty people are rarely sporty. After my son Olly was born I started running (in 2000) and have never really stopped. In 2011 a girlfriend and I cycled 700kms in Northern Vietnam. I hadn’t been on a bike since I was 11 and thoroughly enjoyed the challenge. Also that year I was asked to take part in my first team triathlon. I was asked to do the run leg and I had a decent 5k time of sub 21 minutes. I was a runner, marathons, half, 10k’s, I loved running. 

The day of the triathlon I watched in awe as swimmers launched into a lake, freezing cold, very early one September morning. I couldn’t swim, never learnt. After being disturbed watching Jaws when I was nine years old, I was convinced I would get eaten alive in a swimming pool. I even went through a phase as a child of having to look behind me whilst sitting on the toilet, convinced something would emerge and take me down. But something sparked in me that day as I watched the swimmers, and it ignited a passion, albeit a little obsessive for the next seven years, I had found Triathlon. Slight hurdle to overcome though.

I had to learn to swim. Both my boys swim well, I watched them progress from babies, they had to love the water, I was certain they wouldn’t feel my fears. Never once had I the urge to learn to swim. I had never been out of my depth particularly, and could just about tread water in my Pajama’s if necessary. That I remember doing at school. As a child we never went on holiday, and I certainly didn’t have the privilege of swimming lessons like my boys. So I read EVERYTHING about swimming, I found a pool and started swimming. Kicking hard with my arms stretched out in front of me dipping my face in and out of the water (which I hated doing). 25 meters was a massive goal.

I swam everyday for the first year and that really is the truth (ok maybe not Christmas Day). I joined a swim club that met every Tuesday and Thursday lunchtimes called Swimfit and I was by far the worst. Everyone swam amazingly. David the group coach gave me every bit of encouragement that I needed, not that I needed a great deal as I am quite determined it turns out. He inspired me to keep trying to tickle the toes in front of me. I was seriously slow, and to this day I blame my ‘runners’ legs. I learnt only front crawl and four months in I signed up to do a 3k open water swim, having NEVER swam in open water. So that was next, come early spring my first experience was a complete disaster. Terrifyingly cold, the wetsuit was so tight around my neck I couldn’t breathe. I tried to put my face in the water but the shock sent me into panic. Lets not even talk about the demons lurking low in the murky waters…

If at first you don’t succeed….and of course I persevered, I had set myself a goal and being an upholder I was sticking to it. After seven months of learning to swim I found myself on a chilly (they are always chilly) morning treading water (still not very good at that, but the wetsuit gives you buoyancy) facing my biggest challenge yet. 

We had pink caps on, about 50 women, I decided a women only race would be a good gentle start to my swimming career, goggles on and waiting. The klaxon sounded loudly, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. Everyone surged forward, I hung back thinking basically I’m going to drown. I got going and about 30 metres in, disaster struck. My ‘lucky’ goggles snapped, (I had fiddled with them and tightened them so much with nervous anticipation). I suddenly became the biggest NON swimmer out there, my goggles gave me security, without them I was going no where. You are told if you get into trouble just lay on your back and put your hand in the air, well I couldn’t think straight and somehow thrashed my way back to the start, ( I have no idea how that happened), thinking I can’t even lay on my back and float, I’d never even tried doing that before..

So I hauled my body out and sat in shock on the jetty, by this point the stronger swimmers were almost completing the first 750m lap. Trying to compose myself, my legs were like jelly and I was shaking so much with cold and adrenaline,  I said to myself that’s it, that’s over then, just get back to the car and get warm. What the hell was I thinking anyway?! I clearly wasn’t ready in the slightest, no way. And this is what happened next: A lady marshal in her 50’s asked me what happened and I explained that my goggles snapped and that is was ok, I just want to go home. ‘Hang on’ she said ‘there’s a bucket over there with spare goggles, go grab some and get yourself back in’. I protested politely  and said ‘NO but thanks, really.’ What she wouldn’t have understood at that point is how utterly terrified I was and that my ‘lucky’ goggles were the only pair in the whole wide world that were going to assist me in swimming 3k( I had trialled so many pairs, it was a joke).

‘Don’t be silly’ she said, I rolled my eyes like a teenager and dutifully went to peer into the bucket, which in hindsight I should have used to throw up in, but I showed willing just to get her off my case. FORTUNATELY they were all mens, all large, all wrong and hallelujah I’m going home! ‘WAIT’ she exclaimed I have mine in the car, and off she runs. I stood there thinking what the hell? What the actually F*@k. Is this really happening? At this point the swimmers are almost two laps in by the way, sure enough like a flash she returned with two sets of goggles.

Again, I said ‘look really kind of you but I don’t want to get back into that water and I’m absolutely 100% ok with that, ok?’ ‘Not ok’ she said. ‘Put the goggles on, she was a little stern which could of gone two ways but I found myself complying. ‘Listen’ she softened ‘ I don’t care what happens today, I want you just to jump back into that water, swim to the first buoy and back, then you can go home, deal?’ I actually started to cry, ‘ I don’t think you understand (of course she did) this is all new, I have a fear of the water, I have made a huge mistake, I’m terrified and I just cant, I’m sorry” I sat down in protest still holding onto her goggles. Then this happened: She started to undress, to my relief, surprise and dread she had a bright orange swimming costume on underneath, she took my hand, ‘come on, we will do this together’ Was this woman out of her mind? She said ‘get the goggles on, we are going to jump in together, that’s all, then you can get out’ I was in such shock that I didn’t really have time to think about it ( however I do remember thinking get this god dam woman off my case). So, three, two, one we jumped. To my utter surprise the goggles stayed put and we bobbed up like two corks, she must have been freezing, Her eyes never left mine, ‘few strokes?’ She pleaded. My heart rate would have been 200 I swear, we remained still for a minute eyes locked. I decided to start swimming to the first buoy, that’s it, no further, and we did, together, I had her orange swimsuit on my right hand side the whole way, 20 freaking metres. I had a choice, I could turn round and swim back or I could carry on, and that’s what I decided to do, for that woman. With no word or signal I just swam, I found myself on the course with a mantra that went over and over until my heart rate settled, ‘bubble bubble, breathe’. I completed the four laps, 3 kilometres, at one point a guy in a canoe with a flask of tea paddled along side me, probably thinking I may drown at any point. I surrendered and found a rhythm, a flow, and I remember the swim being very peaceful given the struggle.

I exited the water, second from last (yes that’s right!) and she was there (dressed) , our eyes met, she cried, I cried and that was the start of something truly amazing. That lady was a gift to me, we didn’t know it at the time but she was the reason that Triathlon became my next big passion. I’m convinced I would have left that lake (had I not gone back in) and stopped swimming altogether. Instead that was the start of a fabulous journey with many many more strokes to come. That lady was a gift.

So I spent the next seven years pushing boundaries, always slightly out of my comfort zone. I went to Mallorca early springtime and trained with proper age group athletes, I acquired a series of bike upgrades ( that was fun). I swam in seas, rivers, lakes and lidos. I ran tracks, trails, mountains, and cities. I cycled everywhere and hunted hills. I met a brilliant community of triathletes. I succumbed to taking HRT in this time and it truly lifted me. I still had good days and bad but my anxiety was reduced and I could sleep. There was a nagging feeling that I wasn’t fully listening to my body, it was asking me to slow down. Teaching Pilates is a fairly physically demanding job and it takes a lot from you. So something had to give.

My last race in 2015 was Aix en Provence, a stunning course, beautiful lake swim ( horrendously physical start) the bike ride was the moment for me where time stood still and something shifted, that’s the only way I can describe it. I had been so convinced I would get a puncture, I was worrying I wasn’t eating or drinking enough, cramp was starting in my feet, by the time I actually lifted my head up to breathe I was about 30k into the 90km course. I was going through a very flat section purple mountains ahead, the scenery was breath taking but I couldn’t afford the breath, and that’s when a voice inside my head said, slow down, you’re missing this. I had become fixated with times and numbers and stats that I had begun to loose the joy, I couldn’t even appreciate the view. And I was tired, so tired my body wanted to stop.  

I have never been so relieved to finish, the run was the biggest endurance (aside from childbirth) of my life. But I felt like I’d achieved a massive goal and I was happy with the race. However that voice got louder. I got home had a lot of moments of crying on the bed, I took some time off. Scaled my work schedule down a tad, stopped training and had to go through a transition of not beating myself up for not training, this I found hard. At that point I had been running for 16 years, triathlon for seven, I needed a break. By the way, I’m one of those slightly obsessive people if you hadn’t noticed, when I do something I do it.. 

*a note: The one consistency in my physical life has been Pilates. I have been practising and teaching for 18 years. I absolutely adore The Method, it has kept me strong, pretty much injury free and sane. It has given me so much more, I couldn’t imagine life without it. And yes, I think it is absolutely brilliant to ease you through Menopause. I started practising Yoga, gently, carefully knowing not to get competitive with it. I introduced meditation, again without trying to make it my next big obsession. 

I tread lightly these days. When I was first told at 37 I was going through the menopause I was in denial, I felt it wasn’t fair, I was embarrassed, I felt like life was slipping through my fingers. Some of my friends were just starting their families! I felt my life just stopped, having been very driven, active and determined, I lost my joy and that drive. My path seemed to fizzle out, I wasn’t sure of my direction anymore. The menopause made me fuzzy, forgetful, and low. Having entered into my second marriage I was young enough to have more children, but that was taken away. The very feeling of not being able to have children anymore is quite frankly sad. 

Seven years in and I’m feeling a shift again. Over the last year a more dramatic one. And it’s this, I am starting to feel that this is a special time. A time to reevaluate and put your health ( which includes mental health) first. Given that I am incredibly grateful to be gracing this beautiful planet, I feel life is a gift, like that woman. We have a choice, keep swimming up stream, feel the sun on your face, walk barefoot, eat nutritiously laden food, move our bodies with grace, be strong and centred, breathe well, meditate, jump in when you feel scared and don’t let life pass you by, love and be loved, its a gift.

These words by Susan Sontag from the book The double Standard of ageing pretty much sum it up for me..

“Women have another option. They can aspire to be wise, not merely nice; to be competent, not merely helpful; to be strong, not merely graceful; to be ambitious for themselves in relation to men and children. They can let themselves age naturally and without embarrassment, actively protesting and disobeying the conventions that stem from this society’s double standard about ageing. Instead of being girls, girls as long as possible, who then age humiliatingly into middle-aged women, they can become women much earlier - and remain active adults, enjoying the long, erotic career of which women are capable, for longer. Women should allow their faces to show the lives they have lived. Women should tell the truth.”

*Today I am still on HRT, the advice is to take it for 10 years. Originally it went against everything I believed in, I went down every natural avenue I could find first, nothing helped. I stopped eating meat three years ago, one of the best decisions I’ve made for my health. A whole plant based diet works for me.

Thanks for reading xx

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Rolling into Monday like... (at Jen Day Pilates) https://www.instagram.com/p/BtL30D0gSVL/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1byjpxo4hu532

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I Move therefore I am ~ Murakami

I studied weaving. In fact I have an honors degree from Central St. Martins school of Art. I studied the warp and the weft, I constructed whole beautiful fabrics from thread. I now look at bodies exactly like I look at threads~CLOSELY. And together we construct and create the joy of movement, the expression of how to move well as we age, weaving the MAGIC! I encourage all of you to take time to stop and notice, listen to your body and ask yourself How am I? Take some time in nature and REALLY notice stuff.

Every pilates class should end with The Push Up. We will explore upper body strength and it’s importance in every day life. A workshop to look at the proper technique, looking at how we can start to work toward the full version. Saturday 9th March 11am book here: https://goteamup.com/p/916931-ipilates/e/16725660-the-push-up-workshop/ only 10 spaces.

Introducing Fran..Fran has taken over Clair's Thursday 8pm class. Fran has been studying horse’s and rider’s movement in her profession (as an equine veterinarian) for over 10 years. Having ridden all her life, Pilates became an integral part of her training regime. Her medical background and Pilates training has helped her develop a unique skill set, which engages and develops movement in both human and horses. I'm super excited for Fran as she develops a specific movement program in this area. And If you drop into her class I'm sure you'll love her :-)

Nicole's Yoga on Saturday mornings..

Nicole's yoga classes are strong, grounded and inspiring. Her all-levels classes run through an intelligent sequence of deep core work and energising standing poses. Expect to work hard, breathe deeply and soften into your strength. She is also pre and post natal trained and teaches pregnancy and postnatal mum & baby yoga classes locally. For more info see : https://www.nicoleroseyoga.com/

Find your inner clam with JaneDon't forget if you need a little escape on a Thursday night, go and practice a really gentle hatha yoga with Jane. She has a few spaces so even if you wanted to drop in now and again (thursdays 7pm) you would be made welcome. Jane's yoga is kind, nurturing and meditative. If you wanted to purchase a 10 class pack, click here:https://goteamup.com/p/916931-ipilates/memberships/38631/

Love and Hugs Jen xx   

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As 2018 comes to a close..

What a year. Personally one of exploration and growth as a Pilates teacher. This year I embarked on a journey at Pi Studios with the truly inspirational teacher Holly Murray. I decided to take my fully classical comprehensive with Holly. This is a huge step in furthering my knowledge and deepening my understanding of the original work designed by Joseph Pilates himself. Holly discovered pilates in the USA and is credited with bringing the first 360 approach to classical training to London. 

THE MAT

I fell in love with the direct no fuss straight forward classical approach to teaching. Firstly with the mat, to learn about JP’s repertoire working with flow without compromising technique, learning that The Method is a workout, it really is.Empowering my students with the classical method has been truly amazing, the work is deeper, stronger and has true integrity. 

THE EQUIPMENT

Working on all of  the equipment has totally transformed my understanding of Pilates and has deepened the work within my own body. From the reformer to the Cadillac to the Chair to the Ladder Barrel and beyond, I have learnt that this is Pilates, a 360 approach using the apparatus as the most wonderful playground ever. It takes no prisoners, no hiding, just exceptional results. 

And there’s a million miles to go...  Honoring the work, keeping The Method alive as Joseph Pilates designed it. Pilates in its truest form, the sequence of the work which was designed to move the body through a full range of movement, in all directions. The sequence builds intelligently with foundation exercises at the beginning and more complex ones as you gain strength and control. Keeping the work seamless, continuous, with flow makes for a dynamic workout. So bring on 2019 and loads more of this...to complete my 600hrs with Holly and be the best I can be..

Just when I thought I couldn't love it anymore...To Holly for your support, inspiration and keeping JP’s (and Romana’s and Bob’s) legacy alive ;-)

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Return to life 2018

January is all about new beginnings, a fresh start hopeful that lighter brighter days will follow. Emerging from the depths of winter, surviving the Christmas Chaos, returning back to life. I've read it a billion times but each year I do it again, Joseph H. Pilates book’ Return to life through Contrology. It is THE original exercise book written by the creator and visionary of the Pilates method..   

and every year it seems to become more and more relevant. 

“Contrology develops the body uniformly ,corrects wrong postures, restores physical vitality, invigorates the mind, and elevates the spirit. In childhood, with rare exceptions, we all enjoy the benefits of natural and normal physical development. However, as we mature, we find ourselves living in bodies not always complimentary to our ego. Our bodies are slumped, our shoulders are stooped, our eyes are hollow, our muscles are flabby and our vitality extremely lowered, if not vanished. This is but the natural result of not having uniformly developed all the muscles of our spine, trunk, arms, and legs in the course of pursuing our daily labors and office activities.”

Its sometimes difficult to describe what Pilates (contrology) actually is but on discussion with the wonderful Anula Maiburg last year I think she summed it up pretty well. In practicing Pilates  we are slowing down the aging process. This is what my job is, simply put. So as we go into 2018 think about your practice as a way of keeping yourself young and maybe heading into 2019 feeling the vitality and joy of movement.

“self-confidence, poise, consciousness of possessing the power to accomplish our desires, with renewed lively interest in life are the natural results of the practice of Contrology.”

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“I will persist until I succeed. Always will I take another step. If that is of no avail I will take another, and yet another. In truth, one step at a time is not too difficult...I know that small attempts, repeated, will complete any undertaking”

I’m sorry I don’t know who wrote this but I love it.

It has been a fantastic year as we got to grips with the online booking system and set about enjoying the new look studio. We have watched the seasons changing and I will remind you all (as we are in a snowy December freeze) of how hot we all got one balmy week in June, so hot that all we could do was lay down and meditate.

I have met some amazing teachers this year. I’d like to give thanks especially to a few inspiring women. Anula Maiburg inspired me with her refreshing, openly honest thoughts about our method. Lisa Bradshaw injected some amazing energy and creativity with HIP Pilates. Helena Bingham taught me a valuable lesson and opened some doors. Penny Bird I give thanks for your creativity.

I guess much of our focus has been about honoring Joseph’s work. Learning about the original method. Exploring the sequences and movements .Asking ourselves what is Pilates? Making intentions for our own practice and having fun along the way. Looking at classical and contemporary Pilates and acknowledging both.We have practiced giving thanks and being grateful. 

I do what I do and I am passionate about what I do because I believe in Pilates, in its simplicity, in its complexity, in its present and in its history. Thank you to you all as ever for your commitment and patience to Pilates. I hope you feel the joy of practicing with me and I’m hopeful it has resonated into your lives..

“I used to think GREAT teachers inspire you. Now I think I had it wrong. GOOD teachers inspire you; GREAT teachers show you how to inspire yourself everyday of your life. They don’t show you their magic. they show you how to make magic of your own.”

Happy Christmas. 2018 I’m ready for you.

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Time to reflect.

Today I hung up my mat and closed the studio doors for my summer break. Hopefully off to sunnier climes as Mother Nature has drenched our August 2017.

I look forward to some rest and recharge. To read books, to feel the sun and have some time to daydream and be creative. Like pressing the reset button. Time to reflect on what’s important and let go of the stuff that really doesn’t matter. Perspective.

To rekindle relationships with ourselves and loved ones. Time to connect to our inner peace and find some space and stillness to let go and relax.

‘I’ve been thinking how to bottle this feeling to prolong the positive effects of taking a break and then it occurred to me..

I practice moving everyday. I get my mat out and firstly I stop and listen. I listen to the noise of my mind, I feel the energy of my body, i notice my breath and look inwards. Everyday is different. I then move, if I am calm my body will tell me how to move. Some days I need a framework to guide me and that’s OK too. This is what I love about what I do, and there it is, my daily reset button!

The mat gives me space to connect me to me and then to others. I find a flow in movement and this is passion and beauty. Beauty isn’t a perfectly shot Instagram post, it isn’t just a shape or a form. Beauty is in our deep inner selves. It is in kindness, openness, creativity and gratitude. Beauty isn’t perfection so let that shit go.

So I invite you to connect to your true inner beauty and in others. You may find this on holiday in a moment of happy contentment. Find a way each day to connect. Put down your devices. Be in Nature and feel each step you take on this Earth. Tread lightly. Stop and listen. Connect with your loved ones, really listen to them, look into their eyes, hold them and kiss them. Find that sense of peace, its beautiful. Do it daily.

And if like me you find joy and flow in movement, I’ll see you in September on the mat with an open heart, a sense of peace and we will bottle the beauty of summer space and reflection together.

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Pilates meets Yoga in Ibiza ( first title) From Ironman to a lot of Laying down. ( second title) Yoga. Sunshine. Mountains. Detox. Vegan. ( third title) ( couldn't agree on one title) How does that sound? Perhaps the detox vegan thing sounds a bit drastic but honestly let me tell you, we should all do this once in a while. When the lovely Helena asked me about the objectives of the week or what I wanted to get out of it, I answered 'to create space in my body and my mind'. I didn't really know what I meant, I just needed space. Me time. I love what I do with a passion but every now and again I can feel depleted having given a lot of my time and energy to others. Ensuring all my students are well looked after, are getting 100% of the best I can give 100% of the time. ( and I'm a terrible perfectionist and have silly high standards) and at home nurturing two boys, two dogs and trying to be the best I can to Tim. So it's no wonder I get a little tired, I'm a generous person I guess. The more you give though... So this was my time. My week. Imagine this... Gently wake up have a lemon and turmeric tea watch the sun rise and read a few pages of my book in peace and quiet. 9am to the Shala for two hours of blissful yoga. Shaded but the warmth of the sun ever present giving your body a relaxed sense. We got hot, we moved, we created energy in our bodies and we lay still. I mean really still and we created space. We had plenty of time, there was no rush. 'Just be' 'sit with it' 'let go' BLISS. 11am beautiful vegan brunch. Then time to sit by the pool and read (and space to daydream and reflect) 5pm yin yoga time my absolute favourite. Two hours of very slow held poses ( up to five minutes or more) to be totally inside your very being and sit with it ( sometimes very uncomfortably and that's the point too) I could waffle on for hours about this but I won't, what I will say is that I was touched by this practise and will seek ways of regularly doing it. I may even train in it...(in fact I've bought Norman Blairs book and the gorgeous Clare Wener is going to come to the studio and teach it) 7pm beautiful vegan supper. No eggs, no cheese, no coffee, no dairy, meat or fish no WINE or chocolate to name but a few no no's....Didn't miss it. Really. Not at all and felt totally fabulous eating the most wonderfully prepared (sometimes foraged) plant based foods. My system is good on it. Sometimes it's a good thing to strip back and make things simple. For your mind and your body. Since being home I have kept up my daily practise of yoga. Carried on the food thing (with the exception of coffee and wine and sushi, sorry Helena) I have made an absolute point of being consciously still everyday with my breath ( this gives me strength). I have bought a bolster ( this helps my body). I am also trying to ditch the sense of perfection ( this is ongoing practise). Creating space in mind and body, we all need it. We all need to reflect inwards so that we can give more to others. Finding our own inner peace before we react to others. How about that for a week? 😊

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Yoga coming to iPilates studio and what it's taught me... I'm thrilled to be adding more yoga into the timetable. Jane has been successfully teaching on Thursday nights and it's been a real treat for us all. I must say I have particularly enjoyed the Nidra yoga and I always sleep so well afterwards. In the past I have struggled a bit with Yoga, I enjoy it but I often finish feeling like a failure. Like I just can't do it! I have a competitive edge (with myself mainly) 😉 and like to do my best. Sometimes I feel incredibly uncomfortable and irritable in certain poses, I find it hard to sit with these feelings and then I look around the room and everyone seems so serene! But I've come to realise a few things lately. 1. Acceptance. It is what it is and it's probably telling you something. We all have our own internal battles. Accept it, relax and sit with it. Then deal with it, be bold, truthful and honest. It's your story. 2. Look inward. Explore, notice and really tune in. You are perfect and wonderful. Your body won't go where your mind doesn't take it. Focus on your breath like you've never done before. The more you reflect inwards the more you have to give others. 3. Give yourself a break. It's ok. It really is. Be kind to yourself, put you first. You are important and beautiful. Be grateful and smile. Stop and listen to yourself, really listen. Tread lightly on this earth. I found the next few words in my notes on my phone and I couldn't tell you where they came from but I like them. Everything is interconnected. Gratitude improves sleep. Sleep reduces pain. Reduced pain improves your mood. Improved mood reduces anxiety, which improves focus and planning. Focus and planning help with decision making. Decision making further reduces anxiety and improves enjoyment. Enjoyment gives you more to be grateful for, which keeps that loop of the upward spiral going. Enjoyment also makes it more likely you'll exercise and be social, which, in turn, will make you happier. I'm grateful that Jane and now the lovely Charlotte are coming to teach Yoga at the studio. I have a safe space, a calm, non competitive, non judgemental space for you to come and just be you 😊and go out feeling even more like you!

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Trailwalker 2017|4people|100k|30hours This year I have signed up to Trailwalker in July for Oxfam and The Gurkha Welfare Trust. Tim and I were fortunate to go to Nepal in 2015 and two weeks after we got home a devastating earthquake struck this beautiful country and I felt helpless and absolutely saddened when the pictures emerged. 

 So, we are doing our bit. Team Jen & Tonics. However disaster struck with team member Daisy she had to pull out with an iffy hip. Turns out she needed further surgery on an already replaced hip. Surgery was yesterday and all went well. Charlie (our fourth member and Daisy's hubby) has quite rightly pulled out as he is needed left right and center with Daisy's rehabilitation and five young children! So we have teamed up with Rachel and Emma, who found themselves in the same situation as us, so we've collaborated! The show must go on...Our support crew Nic and Tracy will be on hand throughout the night with gourmet food and encouragement  (I hope 😊) and loads of plasters. Come rain or shine we will get through the 100kms (somehow/anyhow) -as a team - and we will finish with a smile I promise 😉and hopefully we can raise some money along the way.  

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/jen-day2017

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Half term refurbishment, a new chapter for iPilates.. I have been teaching at Mid Herts for nearly four years in a beautiful space with an incredible view overlooking picturesque heathland, its really very special. My commute to work involves a hop over the garden fence, I'm incredibly lucky! For those I have been teaching over the years will understand that I had certain issues with the room, mainly the carpet. A peachy pink patterned carpet. Whilst it was handy to line my mats up against the pattern it played havoc with my OCD but it was 'comfy' and we got on with it. (I also had a grand father clock, a ladies captains 'throne', a framed golf club, fake curtains...you get the picture). So you can imagine my delight when I was given the go ahead for a little refurb. Tim and I painted the walls, a wall was built for storage, Bob laid the wooden floor and all the finishing touches were just a delight to do, including artwork on the walls from clients! But the icing on the cake was the delivery of my new reformer, she really is a beaut. We are going to have many long happy years together😊 and I'm excited about this next chapter. Obviously never judge a book by its cover, but my cover just got a little more swish 😉