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iprobablyneedtherapyhaha · 2 years

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Kaeya discord daddy X reader (childe discord daddy x reader chapter 2)

satire dont dox me pls

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It’s been 3 months since you ended things with your ex discord daddy Childe (or tartaglia69) for cheating on you with zhongli. You had to keep up with rent and bills though, so recently you found a discord server to join. There was a lot of roleplay, but most people who used it played fortnite and minecraft together. There were a good amount of discord mods, but one in particular stood out to you, his username was icePrinceLoneWolfAlphaAlcoholic420. You were going to make him your daddy no matter what.

Night was approaching, and you knew the server would likely be active. Sitting down in your poggy gamer chair (its pink) you opened discord on your PC (its also pink) and put on your headphones (they’re pink.) They had cat ears on them that lit up. You clicked on the server and saw a voice chat active with icePrinceLoneWolfAlphaAlcoholic420, but there were a few other people in there. They were mods, which meant competition. You grabbed your monster energy drink and chugged it, preparing yourself. Their usernames were barbaetos, kreideprinz (you assumed it was their stripper name) and then one you recognized. Your stomach dropped and you felt rage ignite within you like fire. Focusing your eyes back onto the screen, it was tartaglia69. Why was he here? What could he possibly want from a discord mod? He always talked about how much he hated other discord mods and how he wasn’t like the rest. Yet here he is, sucking up to YOUR daddy.

“Fuck that whore” you mumbled to yourself. You weren’t going to let him ruin something for you again. Taking in deep breaths, you took a moment to compose yourself and clicked join.

“H-hi meow!” you stuttered out with a cheery tone.

“Nya hewwo!” The kittens said in unison, excluding tartaglia69 who said nothing and sat in silence.

“Good evening, m’lady.” A cool and sexy voice broke the silence, tipping his fedora despite the fact you couldn’t see. It was his natural gentleman reflexes.

“My name is y/n, meow!”

“My name is kaeya, but you can call me daddy.” He replied.

“Get on bedwars kittens. Whoever wins, besides me heheheh, gets to dm daddy.” Kaeya demanded.

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The rest of the players had already been eliminated, now it was just you, kaeya, barbaetos, kreideprinz and tartaglia69. Childe’s bed was right across from yours and currently he was distracted fighting venti. You built clay blocks around your bed and decided to run for childe’s bed. You had to win, you couldn’t lose to tartaglia69 after everything that happened. You were sweating while frantically building blocks towards his bed. You could hear venti whining about getting killed, which meant childe would probably be coming for you next. Your heart pounding, you decided to keep going. Maybe you were being risky, but this was worth it. Finally at his bed, you destroyed the wool around it. Seriously? He used wool? ‘What a fucking noob,’ you thought to yourself. You were so focused on destroying his bed that you didn't notice his obnoxious laughter on the call.

“y/n, you lose.” He continued laughing. Fuck, he was probably at your bed. But you were able to break his first. He was complaining and being teased by venti, but you weren’t paying much attention. Your focus was on destroying Albedo’s bed next. You felt relieved to have eliminated childe, but you couldn’t forget about Kreideprinz, you assumed he was your biggest competition. By the time you got to his bed, Kaeya was already there and had just destroyed it. Which meant that you had now won your way into his dms. Letting him destroy your bed (since you wouldn’t dare challenge the alpha) you meowed at him and praised him

“Nya, pogchamp! Daddy is so good! Teheheh.” You chuckled like an obedient little kitten.

“Y/N, looks like you’ll get to dm me, owo.” The rest of the kittens groaned and meowed sadly at this. Little did you know, one of them was already in his dms.

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After a few hours of more bedwars, everyone finally logged off. It was a long night of meowing and socializing, you were really tired. Getting in bed, you notice your phone light up and there was a dm from icePrinceLoneWolfAlphaAlcoholic420.

“Hewwo kitten…” it read.

“owo? Daddy! *pounces*” you replied.

You saw him typing, and it’s been a few minutes now. You bit your lip. What could he be writing? You were so curious.

“I hate everything I hate my life everything sucks I’m depressed, i have anxiety, im adopted, both my dads are dead and i don’t have a mom. When i was 5 i got kidnapped, tortured, burned alive, hit by a car, beat by my parents, made fun of for my height, got kicked out of school, became a drug dealer to support my family, got kicked out of therapy, became a mafia boss in one day. My life is so difficult and nobody understands me i fucking hate myself i should just go die. Why do females hate me so much I don't understand why can't females just appreciate nice shallow guys like me they don't care about my sad backstory and dont care about my boobs well im sorry im a fucking sigma male and im not some stupid spineless pussy ass bitch where did they get the audacity to tell me something is wrong with my attitude? I hate the female species so much just shut up fucking bitch stop being so goddamn picky. Everyday i look in the mirror and give myself a 30 minute pep talk and admire my cleavage. I tell myself youre a bad bitch kaeya youre an alpha youre a sigma everybody wants you BUT WHERE ARE THE WOMEN WHO WANT ME I CANT FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE MAYBE I HAVE NO REDEEMING QUALITIES MAYBE MALE GENES HAVE DIED OUT AND BECOME STUPID AND FEMALES ARE JUST SO ABOVE US NOW GODDAMNIT I FUCKING HATE EVERYTHING *walks to my mirror, shirtless with my abs shining. Rests a hand on my forehead and one hand against the wall as i start cackling darkly* IM JUST LIKE THE JOKER FUCKING HELL I HATE SOCIETY nya *pounces back and curls up on you*”

You stare at your phone in silence for a good few minutes. Your room was dark, lit only by the faint glow of your phone. Your frail hand began to tremble as tears poured from your eyes. You had no idea Kaeya had it this hard.

You began to type, ��Daddy, i-i’m so sowwie… i think you’re great..! Pepehands….Y-youre good enough for me! I can fix you!”

“You’re not like the other kittens…” He replied. He decided to gift you nitro for being so obedient.

“uwu thank you daddy! Pogchamp!” Kaeya was such a good daddy, he was already spoiling you so well.

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The morning sun attacked your eyes while you were trying to make your coffee. You’d barely woken up and were feeling really tired from talking with Kaeya all night. Suddenly, your phone started buzzing. Without looking to see who it was, you answered.

“y/n.” you heard a voice that sounded too familiar and annoying. Tartaglia69.

“What do you want you stupid fucking cunt?” you yelled at him.

“icePrinceLoneWolfAlcoholic420 is MY discord daddy. I need him. You see.. Zhongli took all my money, and now I cant afford to be his daddy anymore. I barely have enough money for myself right now, icePrinceLoneWolfAlcoholic420 has been spoiling me well and I don’t want you ruining this for me so back off.” Childe growled at you. “You can’t tell me what to do anymore meow!” You hung up angrily, not even processing he said Kaeya is his daddy.

Kaeya kept sending you lots of money, and you’d been his kitten for about a month now. Until suddenly, you received a message from him.

“This is pepehands, but i can’t be your daddy anymore Y/N. You see, tartaglia69 is my special kitten. He makes daddy LULW uwu. I can’t afford spoiling you like this anymore. I sowwie *pouts*

You closed discord without responding. You were in total shock. How could this be happening again…? What was wrong with you? Your palms were sweaty and you started sobbing. Getting off your poggy gamer chair, you took a moment to try and redirect your sadness into anger towards tartaglia69. You wanted to kill him with your petite and tiny hands.

After about an hour, you opened up the server and put tartaglia69’s IP and home address in the discord server. This is what he gets for messing with you. You left the server and blocked Kaeya. This is the beginning of your villain arc. Your origin story. You’re done being a nice kitten….

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iprobablyneedtherapyhaha · 3 years

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Childe discord daddy x Reader

Once again, i am so sorry. this is all satire and a joke, it is 1 am dont come at me pls im so sorry

basically if childe became a discord daddy and you were his little kitten <3

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Childe was, well, very rich. He was also your boyfriend, though you only ever communicate on discord. But that was okay. You were his little kitten and he paid for your discord nitro. You felt like his cool masculinity best showed through your discord calls and roleplays. Today was a tiring day from work, so you were glad to kick off your shoes and slump into your chair. You turned on your computer and smiled seeing that tartaglia69 (aka, childe) was online. He knew you were usually home by now and sent you a message. “Hey baby girl” a grin on your face grew when you saw this. You replied, “Hi daddy.” and he immediately responded. “How’s daddy’s little kitten doing today *winks*” “teehee good now that you’re here *nuzzles u*” you replied. You genuinely appreciated how thoughtful he was. Some may find it a bit odd, but you liked that he remembered to text you as soon as you got home, and he never failed to ask how you were. “Kitten get on the discord call” he commanded. But you felt really tired tonight, honestly you just wanted to heat up some instant ramen and go to bed. “Sorry babe, i think i’m just gonna heat up dinner and go 2 bed” you replied. After a few minutes, he finally responded. “Wow disobeying daddy? What a bad kitten. Someone is gonna get their discord nitro taken away.” You loved childe, but sometimes he was a little needy. But, you couldn’t risk your discord nitro! I mean, it meant so much to you. You’ve always struggled with self esteem, but this nitro really gave you something to be proud of. This nitro… it was everything. It was your special gift from daddy. You rushed to reply. “Daddy no! *pouts*” after a minute, Childe had replied back. “Get on the discord kitten, now *shakes angrily*” you join the call with him and have ensured the safety of your discord nitro. You two talk while you heat up your ramen. “How was your day babes?” you asked him. “It was alright, boring without you though. I had to ban a lot of people in the warrior cats roleplay server. It’s so hard being a full time mod sometimes… y’know?” You understood. People could be quite taxing and difficult to deal with, especially when that’s all you did all day. “Im so sorry daddy.” you said, half dozing off. “Its okay kitten. You’re cute when you’re all tired like that. You should get some rest though.” It took you a minute to process what he was saying, as you were half asleep, nested in your bed hugging your Childe body pillow. “Mmmm, yeah got it.” The last bit of your sentence trailing off. “Goodnight girlie.” He gave his phone a loud kiss before he hung up, you passing out before you got the chance to even turn your phone off or plug it in.

In the morning, you sat down with a mug of coffee, opening up discord on your computer. Your chair had really nice cushioning, so it was relaxing to sit in it in the morning. The morning sun lit your room, not too brightly though and the smell of coffee completed the mood. You see a message from tartaglia69 pop up. “y/n! *tackle hugs and pats lap* come sit on daddy’s lap” you chuckle at seeing this, you love your discord daddy so much. “Daddyyy *hops on cutely* owo” you happily replied. Hmm? What’s this? You just noticed you had another month of nitro! “Ur such a good girl y/n, daddy thought i should give u a gift uwu *pats ur small head*” he sends another message, “girlie thats just the first of it, u should have a new package just 4 u <3” very excitedly, you reply to him “omg omg omg childe daddy thank u so much ur the best everrrrr <33333” you push back your chair a bit so you can get up and run for the door like a little kid, excited for your package. But when you rushed to your mailbox, it was just an envelope. A little confused, you went back inside and sat down. The smell of parchment was refreshing, the envelope was colored a light orange. Opening it, you couldn’t believe what you saw. It was… a membership to an exclusive fitness program for your buttocks?! Even worse, there was a letter attached addressed to… Zhongli? Who is this? This wasn’t for you, or was this some messed up prank Childe was playing on you? You text him, with an urgency. “Who is Zhongli” you sent. You see him typing, but after a few minutes, the icon goes away. A few minutes pass and he finally replies. “Haha kitten what do you mean?” feeling a bit pissed, you begin to type furiously. “Is this some kind of fucking joke? I thought i was your special kitten, who the fuck is Zhongli and why are you so interested in his ass” after a few minutes of silence again, you finally get a reply. “Girlie im so sorry… i promise he isnt as special as u, ur my #1” you begin to feel tears swelling down your face. Your stomach twists and you feel a bit sweaty. “NO *kills u*” you sent on pure impulse, and that was the tragic end of your discord nitro.

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