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ironrad 28 days
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Peter completely drenched in a towel:
Ned: Woah dude you okay?
Peter: Yeah. I just slipped and fell in the pool.
MJ: Shit, did the lifegaurd come help you out?
Peter:
Peter: I am the lifegaurd.
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ironrad 1 month
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Peter: You know nobody is actually enforcing the laws of physics, right?
Tony: I鈥檓 sorry?
Peter proceeding to walk up the wall:
Tony:
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ironrad 1 month
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MJ: You know how I鈥檓 like one of the three women in our Engineering class?
Ned: Yeah?
MJ: Well, I got the lowest grade on the first test.
MJ: Guess I鈥檓 the underdog now.
Peter: No, you鈥檙e the main character who still hasn鈥檛 reached her full potential.
MJ eyeing Peter skeptically:
MJ: I better also get abs in this character arc then.
Peter:
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ironrad 1 month
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Peter getting comfortable with Tony:
Peter: Hey Tony!
Tony happy they鈥檙e on a first name basis:
Peter: Shit, sorry I mean dad-
Tony:
Peter sweating: Double shit I mean Mr. Dad-
Tony:
Peter panicking: Triple shit I mean Mr. Star-
Tony: Dad is fine, kid.
Peter: oh鈥k :)
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ironrad 1 month
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Natasha: Did you know The Beatles disbanded in 1970?
Bruce: Yeah, there was also an abandoned Apollo mission that had to return to earth that year.
Peter: God, 1970 was such a bad year, huh?
Tony: Hey, I was born in 1970.
Peter: I said what I said.
Tony:
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ironrad 2 months
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Peter: Mr. Stark, did you know spiders actually can thermoregulate now?
Tony:
Peter: Yeah it鈥檚 a new genetic mutation that scientists just disco鈥
Tony: We鈥檙e not leaving till you put the coat on, Peter.
Peter: You can鈥檛 make me >:(
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ironrad 2 months
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Flash: Give me your lunch money, dork.
Peter: It鈥檚 giving broke.
Flash: What-
Ned: Personally, you don鈥檛 see me asking for lunch money.
Flash: Wait but-
Peter: The food isn鈥檛 even that good.
MJ: If you can鈥檛 afford it, just say that.
Flash: I-
Ned: Common bully L
Flash:
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ironrad 2 months
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Tony: Peter, have you ever heard of the trolley problem?
Peter: I mean it鈥檚 not much of a problem anymore.
Tony: What do you mean?
Peter: I can just stop the trolley with my bare hands.
Tony: Ok, well, for the sake of the question, pretend that you can鈥檛.
Peter: But I can. Why wouldn鈥檛 I factor in what I鈥檓 physically capable of?
Tony: Sure but we鈥檙e talking hypothetically-
Harley: Hypothetically I鈥檇 step in front of it because I can鈥檛 handle the pressure of decision making.
Tony: Harely no-
Peter: Don鈥檛 worry, Mr. Stark. I鈥檇 stop the trolley with my strength before he could do that.
Tony: Why did I even ask鈥
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ironrad 2 months
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Morgan crying:
Peter: What鈥檚 wrong Maguna?
Morgan: Dad said you鈥檙e about to turn 20
Peter confused:
Morgan crying harder: Spiders can ONLY live up to 20 years
Peter: Awe, it鈥檒l be fine. I鈥檓 not really a spider.
Peter frantically whispering to Tony: it鈥檒l be fine, right?
Tony shrugging: I鈥檓 not a biologist.
Peter sweating profusely:
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ironrad 2 months
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Tony walking outside:
Peter running and belly flopping into the lake:
Tony:
Peter groaning in pain:
Morgan: Try again, Petey, my teacher said spiders can use surface tension to walk on water
Peter: Maguna PLEASE this is the SEVENTH try
Morgan: You have 8 legs, don鈥檛 you?
Peter: WHAT
Tony walking back inside:
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ironrad 2 months
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Tony: When I was at MIT-
Peter: Oh I have an ex girlfriend who goes there
Natasha: Another one?
Peter: No, same ex girlfriend.
Bruce: Oh okay, I was starting to think you had an ex at every school.
Harley: Why can鈥檛 you? Power move, we can make this happen.
Peter: ?
Harley: Will you go out with me?
Peter:
Harley: Just say yes.
Peter: 鈥ure
Harley: Yay :) okay, I鈥檓 breaking up with you now.
Peter:
Harley: You now have an ex from NYU
Peter: This is brilliant, I don鈥檛 know why I didn鈥檛 think of this before.
Tony: ANYWAYS, TO FINISH MY STORY-
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ironrad 2 months
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Tony entering the lab: As a woman in STEM-
Pepper: Tread lightly鈥
Bruce: Why did you even come down here?
Helen: One more word and you鈥檙e kicked out of the med lab.
Peter: Is this because I said 鈥渓adies first鈥 when opening the door for you earlier?
Tony giggling: No, I just wanted to see how everyone would react.
Helen: Out. Now.
Tony: Yes ma鈥檃m :(
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ironrad 2 months
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Clint: Yelena, what would you rather be, a lion or a panda?
Yelena: Clint Barton, I am me. Why would I want to be anything else?
Clint: I don鈥檛 think you realize how psychologically healthy that actually is.
Later:
Kate: She鈥檚 a lion.
Clint: Definitely a lion.
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ironrad 2 months
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Peter: I think if I was one of the baddies you鈥檇 all be so dead
Tony: Ditto, now quit threatening everyone and do your chores
Peter: I鈥檓 just saying, I鈥檓 this close to going off the deep end
Steve: What is he going on about?
Bucky: Don鈥檛 humor him, he鈥檚 being dramatic
Natasha handing Peter the vacuum:
Natasha: Can you go off the deep end a little quieter please?
Bruce: Yeah, I鈥檓 trying to read
Peter grumbling: the one thing they love more than a hero鈥
Tony: 鈥s to see a hero clean the compound
Peter:
Peter: Touch茅
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ironrad 2 months
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Morgan crying:
Peter: What鈥檚 wrong Maguna?
Morgan: Dad said you鈥檙e about to turn 20
Peter confused:
Morgan crying harder: Spiders can ONLY live up to 20 years
Peter: Awe, it鈥檒l be fine. I鈥檓 not really a spider.
Peter frantically whispering to Tony: it鈥檒l be fine, right?
Tony shrugging: I鈥檓 not a biologist.
Peter sweating profusely:
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ironrad 2 months
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Tony: Hello everybody, I am pleased to announce that we will be introducing a new member to the family
The Avengers: WHAT ????
Peter and Morgan cackling:
Pepper rushing into the room:
Pepper: I鈥橫 NOT PREGNANT
Pepper: WE鈥橰E GETTING A PUPPY
The Avengers:
Tony: teehee
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ironrad 2 months
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Peter: Am I in trouble?
Tony: What why would you be in trouble?
Peter: Oh, sorry you just looked at me.
Tony: ????
Harley: Mr. Stark, stop looking at him.
Harley: AVERT YOUR EYES
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