ironychan - Tumblr blog

[ironychan]

[ironychan]

PATIENT: "I need to exchange these. I get double vision."

ME: "Uh, it looks like you've had these for two years..."

PATIENT: "That's right. I just never got around to bringing them in."

[ironychan]

Interior of the Don Bosco Chapel in Brasilia by Rick Ligthelm on Flickr

[ironychan]

ME: "What can I do for you today?"

PATIENT: *entire medical history*

ME: "Okay. How can I help?"

PATIENT: "One arm of my glasses is floppy, can you replace the screw?"

[ironychan]

ME: "Nothing that could possibly happen would shock me anymore."

NEWS HEADLINE: BLOOD-SOAKED HORSES ON THE LOOSE IN LONDON

ME: "Honestly, that was a good attempt, but no."

[ironychan]

BOSS: "Can you find this information for me?"

ME: *literally just googles it*

BOSS: "I don't know what I'd do without you!"

[ironychan]

Same Co-worker: "You can't ruin the Victorian age for me. I already know that everybody wore black and died of dysentery."

Me: "Actually, everybody wore eye-vibrating green and died because the colour was made out of arsenic."

Co-worker: "What the fuck."

A co-worker asked me if I could go back in time where would I go. I said Oligocene Eurasia to see the Indricotheres. That wasn't what she meant and she scolded me for it, and she said she'd love to visit ancient Sparta.

I have spent the last hour brutally shattering her illusions. It was awesome.

[ironychan]

no one can compare to him.

[ironychan]

Reblog so everyone can hear what they need.

[ironychan]

having an oc you havent drawn / written about publicly yet that only exist as a concept is so funny. i have special access to this limited edition guy from my brain

[ironychan]

Rain forg

[ironychan]

Trimeresurus Insularis, A Venomous Viper Native To Indonesia

sagnik31

[ironychan]

Gold and lapis lazuli cylinder seal, Akkadian, circa 2200-2100 BC

from The British Museum

[ironychan]

That is one of those hybrid kids the aliens show you after they're done with the probing.

dubious thrift finds

1) michelle obama fanny pack

2) fish clock

3) the most terrified cup

4) musclebob buffpants

5) the smilerrrrrrr

6) who fed this cursed doll a lemon

[ironychan]

The tag is no longer trending. The drama is officially over. Sadface.

[ironychan]

A few sketches of Luca, Alberto, and Giulia !!

[ironychan]

Bouquet of violets brooch, c. 1960

Carved amethyst and nephrite jade, with diamonds and 18k white and yellow gold.