jecook

[jecook]

“how fast can you cook up a satire post?” yes

inspired by @half-shadowgalra ‘s reblog

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I need this website to start treating chiropractors with the same level of skepticism it’s starting to show to astrology.

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she is still learning

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compliments from girls go hard

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this is genuinely the funniest thing i’ve seen in weeks. love wins 🫶

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i know it’s been pointed out before but i’m rereading adwd and i still just find it so funny that stannis, of all people, completely by accident, has become some sort of magnet for the most eccentric prophets of the various gods. patchface for the drowned god, melisandre for r’hllor, theon for the old gods (and arguably davos for the seven) all flocking to the most no-nonsense man in all of westeros and making him have ritualistic sex and talk to birds, this is PEAK comedy

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I have been re reading asoiaf and got inspired to do a stannis portrait. I tried to show the theorized night lamp scenario. Started as a pencil sketch then brought over to krita, I put the sketch back in as an overlay at the end and the texture might be a bit heavy handed but I don’t mind it. Hope you like!

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tumblr is widely known for its sexymen polls so why not make one for asoiaf? the problem is that if I played this straight jaime would sweep the floor with the other contestants and it would be no fun (I know my audience and also come on) so I decided to do something a bit different

so I present to you the first Unlikely ASOIAF Sexyman Poll consisting of characters that george probably never intended to be fuckable but some of you freaks and fujos want to fuck anyway...

I've seen thirst posts for all of the characters in this poll except for one (which was a suggestion from my brother that I thought was kinda funny) but now it's up to YOU 🫵 to decide which one is the most fuckable!

"but lady shart I don't like men" well neither do I but for the purposes of this poll let's all pretend we are bisexual fujo riverlands peasants and decide in our heart of hearts which of these unsexy sexy men is the most fuckable!

let the voting begin!!!!

"but shart where is the hound?" nowhere because I hate him and I feel like he would win because of the show it's MY poll and the first democratically elected president of the 7 kingdoms daenerys targaryen said I can do what I want 😉

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Adapt and overcome.

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Every time I see this one, it takes minutes to figure it out again.

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Comedians in the '70s and cartoons in the '90s: weird how your kids can watch violence and murder on TV but the FCC wants us dead if we say the word nipple.

Internet users in 2025: you didn't warn me that there would be erotic themes in the game you just mentioned which is fucked up because I thought it was going to be a normal "morally struggle with killing people" game but now it's gone too far :-/

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commission for @violet-sumire of Dabi and Fuyumi !! thank you !! (ㅅ´ ˘ `) commissions open until DEC 31, 2025.

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Okay here’s the thing. A bunch of authors willing join a con run by a group that’s clearly old HP fans and still host HP panels at cons or let ppl be HP fans at their cons. And only when an HP fic reaches #1 on the charts does it become a problem. The author drops out and the con management makes a pretty whatever response. Everyone claims it’s dangerous for trans people and starts dropping out like 3 months before the con is set to happen. Attendees start demanding refunds. Everyone all knew the group running the con is HP fans.

It’s performative imo.