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jinzhaohui · 1 month
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he knows, he knows the fault lies with him. him and his irresponsible actions, his impulsivity, his lack of forethought — he knows he’s all to blame but the girl, she was too faultless for the likes of him. zhaohui couldn’t fathom the life she’d lead if left in his care, he didn’t want to. zhaohui looks away, hand still clutching his sister’s tight, “where will you go? take her with you. we can’t do this to her, leaving her with me is like damning her to a useless life.”
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her hands move too slowly, she's not quick enough to prevent what happens next. the sight is a bit pathetic to her. as much as she'd like for him to grow up, it's wishful thinking on her part. " zhaohui, sit up, please. i can't take care of your child for you. this is a consequence of your action! " she tone transitions to a loud whisper, careful to not wake the baby. " and i told you, i can't stay for long. i'm leaving beijing indefinitely. "
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jinzhaohui · 1 month
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in two large swings his drink is done away with — but it did little ail him, maybe he needed another. but then her words set a panic in him, one that rattles him from the inside out; the glass is dropped as he reaches for her. now on his knees as he pleads, head to her hands as he grasps onto them. “no, fuck — i know i really did it this time, but you’ve got to help me, 姐姐. i’ll resign myself to monks in lingyin just please help me.” he’s near hysterics, feeling the shudders rack him. then he pauses, head raised — “wait, why don’t you take her. no one else could do it, you’d be the best mother, 姐姐.” if not him, it should be her — he knew no one better to take care of someone as innocent as a newborn babe.
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she has no desire to know the identity of the mother. one of zhaohui's meaningless one night stands that shares the same level of immaturity and lack of grasp on reality as him birthed his child? how frightening. it made her feel bad for the child to be born under such cruel conditions. the situation made her head ache. she sits down, glancing at the child once before looking to her brother. " we can't put her up for adoption. " he should already know this. it's silly of him to even think of it as a suggestion. " zhaohui, only you can. i can't help you out of this. it's time — " she takes a breath. " it's time for you to grow up. " she smiles, although it's out of defeat, she still smiles.
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jinzhaohui · 1 month
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“she’s fucked off to god knows where by now. even threw a paternity test in my face before she did so.” he nods to the set of papers left on the coffee table. a shaky hand settles as he takes a big gulp of his drink, groaning when the burn in his throat does not put him at ease. “responsible? me — 姐姐, i’m just going to fuck her up.” he sighs, “i don’t deserve her — i can’t, i won’t. you’ve got to help me, you must know someone who can take her — set up an adoption, something. anything.” all that would be better than settling for the likes of him.
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" and the mother of the child, what did she say? " she slowly bends forward, careful to not wake the child. she agrees. he's not ready to be a child. he's still a child himself. fatherhood is something unsuitable for someone like her brother. " you'll have to be ready. zhaohui, you are responsible for this child now. " her voice is remains gentle. she has no energy left to be stern.
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jinzhaohui · 1 month
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he shakes his head, “no, no one knows.” slowly, he follows her, keeping his distance as if the mere proximity to the child would cause him to burst into flames. “fuck, what am i going to do, 姐姐?” he walks towards the far side to the bar cart, immediately pouring himself and his sister a drink. “i’m not — i’m not ready — i can’t … i can’t be her father.”
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she takes his hand, gently holding it in an attempt to comfort him. " i'm not understanding — " she looks around the room. what could he be referring to. did he drunkenly bring a batch of puppies and now he's distraught by the amount of pets he has? as she spots the small bassinet tucked away near the entrance of the living room to the hall, she lets go of her brothers hand, cautiously walking up to it. " have you told anyone else? "
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jinzhaohui · 1 month
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"i fucked up, 姐姐. i fucked up big time." he feels the shift as she enters the room. her concern is comforting but it doesn't fix the problem that's been plaguing him for days now. he takes a breath, scrubbing his face hard with his hand before sitting up and facing her, feeling like some disappointing child all over again. "she's over there.” off to the side, in a bassinet all her own, lay the problem of all problems.
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the house is clean. there doesn't seem to be anything noticeably wrong. " is there something wrong with your eyes? " she shrugs off her coat, placing it on the edge of the couch before sitting down. " zhaohui? "
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jinzhaohui · 1 month
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"in here." he croaks from the living room, though the lighting stays just as dim as the rest of the house.
2026
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" i tried to get here as fast as possible, i can't stay long! " she pauses, is anyone even home? " why are all the lights off? " ( @jinzhaohui )
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jinzhaohui · 9 months
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&     lixue     .
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“You came here instead of going to Beijing to attend Wenli and Gahye?” He had been so quick to act. Lixue had spent the week collecting herself — too afraid to make decisions that might become problems later on. If she now had been able to decide, Zhaohui would have been at the palace. She could not send Lixun there. Lixun and his lack of empathy would have not worked in anyone’s favour. ( @jinzhaohui​ )
          he opens his mouth to retort   --   but hesitates,   it wasn’t the time for some smart-ass remark.     “  is that really necessary   --   i just wanted to see my sisters.   ”     how could he tell his sister that despite all that’s happened gahye and wenli’s well-being was the last thing on his mind.   after all,   they were jianguo’s family   --   not his,   so far removed from his line of sight and thought that after all the news had been plastered over every international outlet  --   acquired the necessary information of their whereabouts   --   he had made the first decision to get on the quickest flight to morocco.   
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jinzhaohui · 1 year
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&     araya     .
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“ i know nothing. ”  she really didn’t.  “  i don’t really know about her dating life other than you.  why does this matter?  you guys broke up so long ago. ”
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          her answer does nothing but frustrate him.   “   you’re right,   we broke up.   ”   but then they fucked.     “     it doesn’t matter.   it shouldn’t.   ”    he frowns,     “   but why the fuck does she keep hanging around then ?   ”     it would have been fine if she had just avoided him,   but no   --   she had gone about and nearly stuck to his side all but until a few weeks ago.
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jinzhaohui · 1 year
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&     araya     .
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“ you probably see her more than i do.  why are you asking me this? ”
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          “   so you know nothing ?   heard nothing   --   so you don’t know anything about her going to some ball with some random portuguese ?   ”
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jinzhaohui · 1 year
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&     araya     .
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“ uh — ”  why the fuck is zhaohui at her door?  and why the fuck is he inviting himself in?  she closes the door,  seating herself away from him.  “ why are you here — do you not have friends? ”
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          a restless hand rubs across his jaw before dropping to his knee,   somehow his eyes are as unsteady and uneasy as his hands.     “   have you talked to mai recently ?   ”
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jinzhaohui · 1 year
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&     @arayamahidol​     .
          zhaohui wasn’t one for knocking on doors,   yet he does   --   shoving his restless fists back into his pockets once the moment had passed,   sparing bored glances from one side of the hall to the other as he waited for the door to open,   and when it does   :   “   hey,   you busy ?   no   --   thanks,   sure i’d love to chat.   ”     he’s a flash of ash blonde as he crosses the threshold to her couch in a matter of seconds. 
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jinzhaohui · 2 years
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&     ana maria     .
“If I offer a mass murderer an umbrella, then, wouldn’t that just entice them with free things, then?”
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          “   or it could distract them from y’know mass-murder.   it’s all about the possibilities.   ”
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jinzhaohui · 2 years
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&     fumiko     .
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“ i haven’t kept track but….i think i’d rather just raise it by one. ” she plucks the tomato from his hand, squeezing the ripe fruit to soften it right before she crushes it against his chest. it feels masterful, how carefully she restrains the peal of laughter caught in her throat as juice drips down. “ you can’t tell me you didn’t see that coming – you set yourself up to be an easy target! ”
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          “  ah !  ”     he looks from his chest to her grin,   he should be affronted,   aghast with ire and yet   --   her laughter does amany things  :   such as easing the blow to his ego,   smoothening the furrow in his brows into a slight  ;  his own slackened lips curling back into a self-satisfied grin,     “   alright   --   you’ve got me,   but it got you smiling,   do you feel better now ?   ”
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jinzhaohui · 2 years
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&     @hshqstarters​     .
          “   what’s your count for the night ?   ”     the tomato sits happily in his palm.      “   care to raise it by   ...   ”     he tilts his head to the group off to their left.  
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jinzhaohui · 2 years
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&     mai     .
“You stole a chair? It’s unbecoming, Zhaohui,” she teases.
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          “   i didn’t steal the chair,   i found it   --   practically helped the san marino economy by using it.   ”     he frowns,     “   so,   are you gonna hide me or am i goin’ to have to leave the country ?   ”
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jinzhaohui · 2 years
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&     meixu     .
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“ jin zhaohui! ”  she swats his arm with the magazine she had been holding.  “ you don’t treat other peoples property so carelessly! ”  yes,  lixun had been the one to make permanent damages,  but he’s the one who stole it!  “ what am i going to do with you! ”  she swats him again.  “ so irresponsible!  so thoughtless!  they could have blamed you for throwing it through catherine stuart’s window!  you’re lucky i saw someone else retrieve it from the lake where it had been discarded after you and your brother destroyed it and before it became a piece of criminal evidence! ”  she scolds.
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         “   but did they.   ”     no,   they did not.     “   and that’s hardly enough evidence.   do you think i would give a --   ”    he coughs,   minding his language for once   —   hoping to avoid another beating.     “    like they could get the charges to stick,   i’ve got an alibi.   ”       
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jinzhaohui · 2 years
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&     meixu     .
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“ were you ever confronted by the owner of the lawn chair? ”  ( @jinzhaohui​ )
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          “   no but if you happen to see them,   please send them my sincerest apologies and my list of grievances because that cheap shit didn’t even last me a day.   lixun broke it after our  ‘family meeting’.   ”   he unironically adds the air quotations with a roll of his eyes.
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