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jjoutermaybanks · 4 years

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With You In My Head || Rafe Cameron x Reader

part one part two part three part four part five part six part seven part eight

summary: it’s going to be a long summer. living in the Outer Banks with your trailer park mom and fancy mansion dad, you know it’s going to be a tough three months. things only get harder when your best friend’s brother, the notorious Rafe Cameron, begins to complicate your life even more. but will the island’s biggest wildcard successfully steal your heart, or leave you more broken than before?

an: this is the final chapter! i have absolutely loved writing this series, and the response has been amazing. i can’t thank my readers enough, and i hope you love this fic as much as i do. maybe once OBX 2 arrives, i’ll have inspiration to write even more stories. until then, thanks a bunch!

word count: 4k

warnings: smut city y’all

*not my gif, credit to owner*

PART EIGHT

The memory of Rafe walking out the door plagued you for days. In your head was the sound of his retreating footsteps, and every time you closed your eyes you saw his crestfallen expression. You wanted to be angry at the Pogues for bursting in uncalled for and ruining an otherwise picture perfect morning. But in truth, you were the one who let Rafe slip through your fingers. It was your fault you hadn’t seen him in over a week.

In fact, you barely saw anyone that week. Though the Pogues had good intentions confronting you like that, it ended up ruining one of the only good things going for you in your life. When Rafe had walked out, you stayed to make amends with your friends and put everything behind you. Even Sarah found it in her heart to forgive you, but the hug she gave you left a bitter taste in your mouth. Why did I have to choose between them and Rafe? How is that fair?

And so, because of your anger at the Pogues and heartbreak over Rafe, you holed up in the trailer. It pleased your mother to no end, and she rejoiced in having you home by cooking lots of meals and insisting you watch TV together every night. And that’s exactly what you did, day after day. If she realized how sad you were, she didn’t comment, merely kept the comfort food coming.

But when days turned into weeks, your numb state began to wane and turned more into longing. You longed for the adventures you and your friends had. You longed for the beach days with Sarah where you talked for hours about absolutely everything.

More than that, you missed Rafe. You missed everything about him; his eyes, his smile, even his hair and his hands. The sound of his voice became a foggy memory in your brain, and one day you woke up struggling to remember what his kiss felt like. But you were caught between a rock and a hard place; if you went to Rafe, your friends would never forgive you. But if you went to your friends, you would never see him again.

Instead of making a decision, you chose to stay home.

Someone who did make an attempt to see you--or at least talk to you--was your father. Every day the phone rang, with yet another plea for you to come over. His desperation was even starting to irritate your mother, who eventually just let the phone go to voicemail rather than answer. It was the same speech every time, about missing you and wanting to connect with his daughter.

It hurt to hear him beg. Part of you wanted to see him, to try again at the relationship that was so splintered. Another part of you was fine never dealing with him, and pushed him out of your mind. Really, you just wanted to talk to Rafe about it. He was the only person who might understand, and you knew his advice would make things easier.

One morning, there was a knock at the door around mid-afternoon. Forcing yourself off the couch, you stumbled over to see who it was. Surprisingly, Sarah stood in the doorway, a meek smile on her face.

“Sarah,” you simply stated, your shock fairly muted. She tried to muster up a bigger smile, but it looked pained.

“Hey, Y/N,” she replied softly, biting her lip like she always did when she was nervous. “Can we talk?”

Nodding, you closed the door behind you so the two of you could go on a walk. It was a cloudy day, with the threat of rain imminently looming. At first Sarah was quiet, but once you’d walked a short distance she exploded into an apology.

“I can’t even begin to say how sorry I am. I had no right to get so angry about you and Rafe--” You flinched at the sound of his name, and a reference to what you had been. “I guess I was just shocked. And worried you’d end up choosing him over me, seeing as we don’t exactly get along.”

You sighed. “We’re best friends, Sarah. I would never do that.” At her apologetic nod, you continued. “Besides, all I wanted was to help you and Rafe. I know how you see him, but I know who he really is. He’s someone who’s made a lot of mistakes, but also has an enormous heart. I just wanted you to give him a chance.”

“It’s just so hard...John B. is in my ear a lot, telling me he’s dangerous and crazy.” She shook her head. “You have to see how hard of a situation I’m in.”

“I do, believe me,” you enforced. “And I’m not excusing Rafe’s past. I just know what he’s going through.”

She looked intrigued at this, but you were reluctant to divulge what Rafe had confessed to you. Sensing this, she rolled her eyes. “You don’t have to tell me his deep dark secrets. I’m his sister, it’s my job to learn them on my own. But can we please just be friends again? The Pogues won’t shut up about missing you.”

This warmed your heart, and you smiled at the thought of your friends. “Of course.” For once, it seemed like things were looking up, at least in one aspect.

“I obviously came here to make up,” Sarah added. “But...I also come bearing a message. From your dad.”

Freezing in your tracks, you folded your arms. “He’s gone from voicemails to a messenger? How desperate is he?”

Sarah shrugged. “I don’t know what his deal is. All I know is he came over yesterday and told me you weren’t speaking to him, and asked if I would convince you to go see him. I wasn’t gonna pressure you to see him, but I just thought I’d let you know.”

Now you were really lost. Your dad was so clearly trying to rebuild your relationship, and his efforts were exhausting. You knew your mother wanted you to patch things up, and even Sarah was hinting that you should go. But how many times were you going to give him a chance, only for him to screw it up? You were almost out of energy. Almost.

“Fine,” you conceded. “I’ll go over for dinner.”

Sarah slung her arm around you, pulling you into a hug. “It’s good to have you back, I really missed you. Now what do you say we get a quick swim in before your big dinner?”

For the rest of the afternoon, you and the Pogues went swimming off the docks. It was incredibly rejuvenating, and the smile didn’t leave your face even after you’d gotten ready to go to your dad’s.

Your mother gave you a big hug before you left. “I’m proud of you, Y/N,” she told you earnestly. “You’re the strongest girl I know. Can’t believe I’m the one that raised you.”

Giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, you promised to be on your behavior and set off for Figure 8. You hurried your walk to try to beat the incoming rain, and thunder was cracking through the sky by the time you arrived.

Without hesitation, you marched right up to the door and rang the bell. You just needed to dive right in, and if it went poorly then so be it.

“Sunshine!” your dad greeted, looking beyond elated that you came. He beckoned you inside, and the smell of fresh-baked garlic rolls hit you as you walked in.

“Glad you beat the rain,” he commented, just as a boom of thunder rocked the house. Rain was now pelting down the windows, and you suddenly felt very trapped. Your father led you to the table where he’d set up dinner, consisting of lasagna, salad, and rolls. Clearly he had been expecting you, and you frowned at this. Did he really just think you’d come crawling back if he sent Sarah?

Forcing a smile, you sat across from him and poked the food with your fork. Something about the smell of his cooking was nauseating rather than delicious.

“So sunshine, how’ve you been?” he asked, digging into the meal. You took a sip of water to calm your nerves, swallowing roughly.

“Um, good,” you lied. “You?”

“Oh, amazing. Work has really picked up steam, and I’ve actually started looking at some mainland properties.”

Raising your eyebrows, you asked, “You’re moving?”

Your father grinned sheepishly, and the expression made your blood turn cold. “Well, actually...” he started, rubbing the back of his neck. “I was hoping...we would be moving.”

You dropped your fork, and it fell to the plate with a clatter. “I’m sorry, what?” you blurted, shock rendering you almost speechless.

Realizing the bomb he’d just dropped, your father tried backtracking. “I know it’s a lot, but I’ve just been thinking about things--been thinking about us. Our relationship is strained, and I think the only way to make it better is to spend more time together.”

You frowned. “We’re spending time together right now.”

He chuckled. “No, I mean...if we live together, then we have to spend time together.”

This made your mouth run dry. “So, you think the solution to our problem is...trapping me with you? When I already don’t want to be around you?”

Panic flared in his eyes at your abrasive tone. “I think it would be good for us, sunshine. We need to bond. And besides, it’s about time you get out of that god awful trailer. I mean, no teenage girl should be living in a dump.”

You almost spit out your water. Anger fizzled up through your veins, and you started seeing red. “You mean the dump that my mother slaves away at work to pay for? The dump that you forced us into because you couldn’t help being a greedy, pompous pig?” You stood up abruptly from the table, chair scraping the floor as you glared down at your father. “I would rather live in that dump forever than spend one more second with you.”

You didn’t wait for him to respond. You merely stalked over to the front door, knowing full well this would be the last time you ever set foot in this house.

Rain pounded on the ground as you stepped out into the storm. You were soaked within seconds, teeth chattering from the chilly droplets. Lightning lit up the sky, and thunder rocked the earth as you frantically ran away from your father.

Confused, hurt, and soaked to the bone, you had no idea where you were going. Your feet naturally took you toward the Cameron’s, where you assumed you were looking for Sarah. Yes, Sarah, you thought to yourself. I need my best friend right now.

The trek was cold and wet, and your whole body shuddered with chills by the time you finally got there. Pounding on the door, you blinked water out of your eyes and hugged your arms for warmth.

“Come on, answer,” you murmured under your breath, the whipping winds stinging against your wet cheek.

When the door opened, you didn’t recognize who was on the other side at first. But after a second, your eyes adjusted and you saw Rafe, mouth hanging open in surprise.

“Y/N?” he asked incredulously.

Sniffling, you nodded. “I-Is Sarah here?” You skipped right over a greeting, too cold and emotional to know what to say.

Rafe shook his head. “She’s with John B. Why are you all wet?”

Your breaths were coming in short and quick now as you shivered. “W-where’s Ward?” You didn’t need him blabbing to your father that you’d shown up soaking wet and hysterical at his doorstep.

“Away on business. Seriously Y/N, are you okay?” The genuine concern reflected in his eyes finally broke you. You let out a gasping sigh before falling forward, Rafe’s arms flying out to catch you. You collapsed into his chest, tears falling onto his shirt as you cried. Rafe wasted no time in gently leading you inside, arms wrapped tightly around you.

You barely processed what was happening after that. He was taking you upstairs, carefully leading you through the dark hallway into a room. A light flicked on, and through teary eyes you watched Rafe rifling through a drawer. It was then you realized he’d brought you to his room, and you looked around to take it all in. Dark blue walls, gray bedspread. Cluttered desk and frayed posters. It was a glimpse into his soul, a very personal space, and you felt like you were intruding upon his deepest thoughts.

Rafe handed you a pair of red plaid boxers and a big black crew neck. “Put some warm clothes on, you don’t want to catch a cold.” His voice was oddly formal, but you didn’t really register this before stumbling into the bathroom.

Once your wet clothes were peeled off and you’d pulled on his warm ones, you glanced into the mirror only to find a stranger staring back at you. Makeup was smeared under your eyes, and your hair was damp and matted. You looked like you’d been to hell and back, and it certainly felt like it. Splashing some water on your face, you attempted to bring some life back to your ghostly pallor.

You were scared to face Rafe. He’d just seen you at your lowest point, broken and defeated. You felt more vulnerable than ever before, like a wounded animal flinching at every loud noise. But it would do you no good hiding in the bathroom, so you forced your feet to carry you back to his room.

After closing the door, you leaned back against it. The smell of Rafe was everywhere; on the clothes you wore, in the air. Through the darkness you saw him lying on the bed, shirtless and clad only in sweatpants. He gave you a long look before staring at the wall, jaw set.

Inhaling deeply, you worked up the courage to approach the bed. You paused, gauging his reaction. When he didn’t even look at you, you decided to throw all caution to the wind and just act. Crawling across the mattress, you settled by his waist, throwing one leg over so you were straddling his hips. Subtle surprise played across his face when you did this, but other than that he didn’t move.

Gently, you leaned forward until you could place a kiss on his chest. His skin was warm and smelled tantalizingly familiar. You peppered more kisses across his chest, going up his collarbone and approaching his neck. Rafe’s breathing was deep and washed over the top of your head.

You kissed the base of his neck, looking up to meet his eyes. “I missed you,” you whispered, feeling a pang of hurt when he didn’t look at you.

Rafe just cleared his throat lightly, eyes glued to the ceiling. “Your Sarah’s friend first, I get it.” His words confused you, and you pulled your brows together.

“Rafe...” you began, fingers running across his chest. “I wanted to see you this whole time. I...missed you.” You felt dumb saying it again, but it was true. You missed him so much it hurt.

“Well, you shouldn’t,” he answered quietly. “Sarah’s right. You haven’t been the same since we’ve started...seeing each other.” His blue eyes met yours only briefly, and you yearned for them to stare into your soul. “I don’t want you to be miserable.”

“I’m not,” you insisted, curling your hand into a fist against him. When he still ignored your plea, you felt your lower lip tremble. “Look at me, Rafe.” Desperation laced your voice, and this must have been enough to make him finally meet your gaze. You felt tears well in your eyes again, and all you wanted was to destroy the distance he was trying to put between you.

“I’m not miserable. If anything you make me happy. Happier than I’ve ever been.” You could tell he didn’t believe you, and you brought your fingers to his face before leaning down to kiss him. Rafe didn’t react at first, but after a second he returned the kiss ever so slightly.

Breaking your lips apart only an inch, you curled your fingers into Rafe’s hair as you gazed deeply into his troubled eyes. “You’re the only person who understands what I’m going through. At all.” Residual pain from the blowup with your father struck you, and you winced. “Anytime something goes wrong, I just want to tell you about it because I know you’ll get it. I know you’ll know exactly what to say, exactly what to do to make me feel better.” You kissed him again lightly, noses bumping together. “And I want to help you too. You’ve been through so much, more than anyone gives you credit for. I want to help you the way you help me, I want to put a smile on your face.” Your thumb brushed against his lips, his blue orbs locked onto yours. “I want you, Rafe.”

It only took a heartbeat for him to connect your lips once more. The confession had been bold, the bravest thing you’d ever said to him. Although you feared rejection, you needed him to know just how much you cared about him. And judging by the intensity of his kiss, Rafe felt the exact same way.

His hands burned up your sides, sliding under the thick material of the crew neck you wore. Lips working against one another, you tangled your fingers in his hair, hips grinding down ever so slightly.

Rafe groaned into your mouth at this action, and brought his hands down to the hemline of your shirt. You leaned up to let him pull it over your head, exposing your torso to his hungry eyes. Warm fingers cupped your breasts, and as he kneaded your skin you moved your hips against the hardening mound in his sweatpants.

Strong arms gripped your shoulders and flipped you onto the mattress. Rafe hovered over you, naked torsos barely touching. Lips brushed yours before dragging down your neck, causing your head to roll back. He continued down the valley of your breasts, until you felt his fingers tugging at the waistband of the boxers you wore.

Breathing hard, you closed your eyes when Rafe finally removed your final layer, and cool air hit your center. He wrapped his fingers around your thighs, spreading them open until your calves rested on his shoulders and he could lower his head.

You realized what he was about to do right when his lips touched your skin. Sucking in a breath, you felt his tongue dart out to part your folds. You gripped the sheets tightly, bracing yourself as he licked up your entrance.

“So wet for me,” he murmured, the vibration hitting your clit and making you moan. He licked his tongue across your juices, kissing the inside of your thigh and igniting warmth in the places he touched. His teasing touches were driving you insane, and you directed his head towards the place you ached for him.

Chuckling, Rafe obliged and attached his lips to your clit. Your sensitive bud pulsed with desire as he worked his tongue around it, causing you to writhe against the mattress. Moans fell uncontrollably from your lips, and you brought your hands to your breasts in an attempt to steady yourself.

But there was no controlling yourself when Rafe worked his tongue so expertly. Your clit was throbbing against his mouth, and all it took was one more twist of his tongue before your orgasm hit.

Crying out, you lifted your hips against him and gripped your breast, chest rising and falling erratically. Rafe licked his lips with a triumphant smirk you could see even in the dark, and you pulled him up to your face.

You could taste your moisture in the kiss, and Rafe groaned softly as your hands wandered down to his sweatpants. You wanted him fully bare, and he quickly kicked off the pants leaving you both naked and pressed together.

His cock was rock hard already, and you felt the tip slide against your lower abdomen. Without breaking the kiss, you reached down to take him into your hand, eliciting a loud moan of pleasure when Rafe disconnected your lips.

Bringing your mouth to his ear, you whispered, “I want you, Rafe. Now.” His cock twitched in your palm, and you felt him lean over to the bedside table to grab a condom.

The foil packet was torn, and within seconds it was slid onto his throbbing length. Rafe lined himself up your entrance, the tip barely teasing you and making your head go fuzzy.

Hooking your arms around his neck, you shifted your hips so he pressed into you even more. Rafe swore under his breath, but quickly reattached your lips. In one swift motion, he pushed fully inside of you.

The stretch was blissful. His size filled you up completely, hitting your walls and making your breath hitch. Rafe stayed still for a moment, before rocking in and out in steady thrusts.

Your nails dug into his back, legs wrapped around the back of his waist to deepen the angle. Your skin was slick with sweat as it slid against his, and you could barely keep your eyes open. Pleasure sparked all throughout your body, concentrated in the place where you both connected.

“Y/N,” Rafe moaned, sinking deeper inside of your folds. One arm was used to support his weight while he brought the other to your cheek. His blue eyes were misty but filled with emotion, and you lifted yourself slightly to meet him in a kiss.

Rafe’s motions were controlled and drawn out. He was going slow on purpose, to savor this heated moment between you. His thrusts were gorgeously deep, hitting spots that made you cry out his name.

“God,” you panted, lips parted with ecstasy. Rafe covered your mouth with his, bringing a hand to lace with yours. You could tell he was close by the way his thrusts grew sloppy, and you also felt your second orgasm building.

Rafe pulled almost entirely out of you, before driving in and hitting a spot that sent your orgasm catapulting through your body. At the same time, he let out a string of swear words as he came inside of you, hand tightening its grip on yours.

With your release buzzing through you, you kissed Rafe’s neck and fell back onto the mattress, content. You expected him to climb off of you, but instead he stayed exactly where he was, refusing to disconnect your bodies.

His fingers moved a few pieces of hair off of your sweat-sheened forehead, eyes gazing own at your face. “Y/N...” he started, lips parted as if he couldn’t find the right words. “I love you.” You gasped, but he didn’t wait for your surprise to subside. “I’ve loved you for...ages now. I think I fell in love with you the first time we talked at the market. I knew I was done for that night at the party, after you found me on the chair and...” Memories of that fateful night played like a movie in your head, and for effect he kissed the valley of your breasts. “I meant what I said about wanting to be better for you. I don’t even deserve you, but I swear I’ll never rest until--”

You interrupted him with a kiss. Rafe melted into your embrace, finally shifting off of you and deftly removing the condom without separating your lips. You pulled him as close as possible against your body, throwing a leg around his hips. You finally pulled away to rest your forehead against his, and your breathing mingled together.

“I love you too, Rafe,” you told him, kissing the tip of his nose. A smile played across his lips, and a small laugh shook his chest.

“What are we doing?” he chuckled, stroking your hair as you nestled into his chest.

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “All I know is I love you, and I’m never leaving you.” Even with all of the drama surrounding Rafe and the Pogues, you knew you’d never loved anyone more in your whole life. Your body craved his, and when he wasn’t around you felt empty. He made you forget about your pathetic father and uncertain future. Here, in his arms, you’d never felt happier.

Rafe nuzzled the top of your head. “You have me, Y/N. You have me forever.”

Closing your eyes, you began to imagine that forever. And it was beautiful.

~ ~ ~

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jjoutermaybanks · 4 years

Text

With You In My Head || Rafe Cameron x Reader

part one part two part three part four part five part six part seven part eight

word count: 4.1k

warnings: pretty much pure fluff

*not my gif, credit to owner*

PART SEVEN

Your blood turned ice cold. Panic bells rang off in your head like a cacophony, drowning out any logical thought your brain attempted to form. Rafe was saying something in your ear, trying to draw you out of your shock. But not even his familiar voice could calm the racing of your heart, the shaking of your hands.

“Sarah!” you cried out, starting to rush up the sand towards her. Rafe grabbed your hand, attempting to stall you.

“Wait, Y/N--” His plea was desperate, his eyes trying in vain to hold you in place. Taking a shaky breath, you pulled away from him and shook your head.

“I have to go,” was all you told him, turning around to run after your best friend. In this moment, preserving your relationship with her was more important than any sentiments you were sharing with Rafe.

You caught up to Sarah as she stormed off. The blonde was steaming with anger, you could tell, and you inhaled deeply as she whirled around to face you.

“What the hell are you doing with my brother, Y/N?” she demanded, making you wince. This was just what you feared whenever you were alone with Rafe; that Sarah would find out, and that she would never be able to forgive your sneaking around.

“We were just talking...” you began, knowing this was a stupid thing to start with. Sarah snorted.

“Some talking,” she rebutted. “Do you make out with everyone you ‘talk’ to?” She threw up angry air quotes, mocking your pathetic attempt at an excuse. Sarah continued walking, and you hurried to keep up with her.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” you stuttered. “I don’t even know what it is, so I thought what’s the point of trying to explain--”

This made her stop in her tracks. “What do you mean you don’t know what it is?” she repeated. “Do you want it to be something?” Sarah sounded flabbergasted just at the thought.

Face burning with humiliation, your mouth hung open as words failed to explain your jumbled thoughts. “Rafe is...he’s different than I thought he was. I feel like I see a different side of him now.”

Sarah’s scoff was like a punch to the gut. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Rafe is an asshole who doesn’t give a shit about anyone but himself. He beats up our friends, Y/N,” she said forcefully, making the image of Rafe’s animalistic face flash in your mind. “He’s a manipulator, and a damn good one at that. He’s just playing with you because he’s bored. Rafe is a cruel, lying bastard that I hate to have to call my family.”

You bit your lip, looking away from Sarah’s furious face and out towards the horizon. You recalled your conversation with Rafe, the raw vulnerability he had shown you. Painfully, you remembered the blood smeared across his face, the blow delivered by his own father. However angry Sarah was, she wasn’t entirely right about her brother.

“I don’t disagree,” you started, speaking slowly so as not to provoke her. “Rafe is complicated. But there’s more to him, and I’ve seen it. He’s struggling, Sarah, in ways not even his own sister knows. I think if you just give him a chance--”

“No! I’ve given him way too many fucking chances, and each time he screws it up. I’m tired of his games, so if you want to keep playing go right ahead. I won’t be around to save you.” She spat the words out like poison, and they hit you square in the chest like bullets. With one last glare, Sarah turned and stalked off, in the direction of The Cut where she would no doubt tell the Pogues what happened.

Struggling to breathe, you hugged your sides weakly and tried to steady your heart rate. With Sarah turned against you, the Pogues were surely soon to follow. You would have no friends, no one left to support you. You had no idea where to go or who to ask for help. For the first time all summer, you felt incredibly alone.

With a sharp inhale, you forced yourself to think rationally. You had left your bag back at the Cameron’s house, and needed to retrieve it before you went home. This was a simple enough task, and your feet carried you robotically to the front door.

It was wide open, surprisingly. Taking tentative steps, you entered the kitchen and collected your bag, glancing around to see who had left the door ajar. Ward was no where to be found, and so you closed the door behind you as you left.

Striding towards the main road, you glimpsed a figure a few meters ahead. It was Rafe.

“Hey!” you called out, and he stopped to look back at you. Jogging to reach his side, you gripped the strap of your bag for support as you took in his shattered expression.

“Where are you going? Was that you who left the door open?”

Rafe swallowed roughly, and nodded. “Yeah. I went back home after you went after Sarah.”

Furrowing your brow you asked, “What happened?”

His expression was haunted, and your stomach twisted into a knot at the sight of it.

“Ward kicked me out,” he whispered, almost ashamed of the confession. “Said if he ever saw my face near that house again he’d give it a few bruises as a reminder.”

You gasped, bringing a hand to your mouth in surprise. Though his words were jarring, they weren’t all that surprising. Ward was a terrifying man, and you knew he was capable of harming even his own son.

Silence stretched between the two of you for a while. You could tell Rafe was humiliated and hurt, and you were equally as lost. Going back home to The Cut wasn’t exactly a good idea considering the Pogues were probably all mad at you. And Rafe didn’t exactly have anywhere else to go now, either. Contemplating what to do, an idea suddenly occurred to you.

“You can stay with me at my dad’s house,” you offered, causing him to glance over in mild surprise. “I just remembered he’s visiting the mainland for a week, so the house’ll be empty.”

Rafe gave you a long look, clearly trying to think of something to say. “You don’t have to do that, Y/N. I can figure out a place to go--”

“No,” you interrupted firmly. “I want you to stay with me.” These words carried a deeper meaning, and you blushed as you realized this. “I mean...I don’t want to go home. The Pogues definitely hate me right now, and The Cut is a miserable place without them. Besides, I can’t bring myself to fake a facade with my mother and she doesn’t need to be worrying about me--”

“Okay,” he interjected softly. Rafe’s blue eyes gleamed in the dimming evening light, his lips smiling ever so slightly. “I’ll stay with you.”

Breathing a sigh of relief, you forced a smile. “Good. I-I do need to stop at home first, though, just to get some stuff. You don’t mind coming, do you?” The thought of Rafe seeing your dump of a house made you cringe. He was used to country clubs and dinner parties, not trailer parks and dirt roads.

“Of course not,” he insisted. “You’re the one giving me a place to crash. I’ll do whatever you want.”

So you walked the long way back to The Cut, remaining mostly in pleasant silence. Both you and Rafe had a lot to mull over, and you liked that it wasn’t awkward just walking side by side.

As you approached your trailer, embarrassment began to set in. The grass was overgrown and yellowing, the paint peeling and the cinder block steps leading up to the door chipped. You almost didn’t want to let Rafe inside, but as you pushed through the door he followed you in.

Flicking on a light, you grabbed a duffel bag and began stuffing it full of the things you needed. Rafe surveyed the interior with an unreadable expression, leaning against the small counter in the kitchen while you packed.

“Where’s your mom?” he asked, noting the emptiness of the trailer.

“She’s working a double shift today,” you explained, feeling a little defensive over your mother. You knew Rafe’s parents barely lifted a finger and still had oversized wallets, meanwhile your mother slaved away day in and day out just to pay for food. But if Rafe was judging, he didn’t make it known, just stayed quiet in the kitchen.

You hated the silence filling the room, so you gestured to the interior of the trailer and said, “I know it’s small, but there is only the two of us.”

Rafe shook his head quickly. “No, it’s good. It’s...quaint.” He was smiling, but you grimaced. The word was like a knife to your heart. ‘Quaint’ was just a polite way of saying pathetic. Feeling sick to your stomach, you decided the silence was fine after all.

You finished gathering your things and wrote out a quick note for your mother. She wouldn’t be home until much later, but you knew she wouldn’t mind you being away for the night. You led Rafe back out and locked up behind you, grateful to leave behind the ridiculous shack you called a home.

By the time you reached your dad’s mansion back on Figure 8, the sun was fully down and stars dotted the velvety sky. You used the spare key your father insisted you have to get in, and in this moment you were glad you actually accepted it.

The house was as cavernous as ever, empty of all life and eerily still. You turned on a few lights to warm up the place, and dropped your bag by the sofa before wandering into the kitchen.

Peering into the cupboards and fridge, you noticed it was fairly well-stocked. A leftover bowl of pasta alfredo looked too good not to eat, and you knew your father would barely even notice if it was gone. Preparing the cold dinner on two plates, you slid one Rafe’s way with a small smile.

“Home cooking,” he commented, swirling his fork through the pasta as he leaned over the kitchen island. “I’m not used to this.”

“I live off leftovers,” you told him, taking a bite of the delicious food. For all his flaws, your father was definitely not a bad cook.

Many unanswered questions loomed between you and Rafe. Your argument with Sarah, his situation with Ward, the overall relationship between you two. You didn’t know exactly how you felt about Rafe, but you knew spending time with him made you feel good, so it had to be worth something.

But is he worth losing all of my friends for? a small part of you pondered. Sarah would have a hard time getting over this, and she would surely have the Pogues entirely on her side seeing as they also hated Rafe’s guts. Glancing over at the dirty-blonde, you frowned, wondering why someone so complicated made your heart flip upside down.

Rafe caught you staring, and gave a lopsided smile. “What?” he chuckled, making your cheeks flame. You shook your head quickly, noticing both of your empty plates.

“Nothing. Let’s head upstairs so I can show you the rooms.” Depositing the dishes into the sink, you grabbed your bag and had Rafe follow you as you ascended to the second floor. There were so many bedrooms you didn’t know which to pick, heading for the slightly familiar one.

It was a fairly boring guest bedroom setup, with a big bed and connecting bathroom. It was painted pale yellow, a decision your father had made when he thought you would stay with him. This was technically your room, although you felt as much a stranger here as Rafe surely did.

Plopping your bag down by the foot of the bed, you bit your lip. “Well, this is it.”

Rafe nodded, taking it in. “Both of us are staying in here?”

His question was abrupt and threw you off guard. Why didn’t I realize that’s what it looks like? You had no idea why you were so comfortable assuming you and Rafe would sleep in the same room, not even giving it any real thought. It was just natural to want to be with him.

Flushing, you stuttered out, “W-we don’t both have to stay in here. I can take a different room if that’ll make you more comfortable.”

Another smile played across Rafe’s lips, soothing your anxieties. “I’m more than happy to share a bed with you, Y/N.” His suggestive tone made you grin, and suddenly you were excited you had made this mistake.

You took your things into the bathroom to get ready for bed, changing into sleep shorts and a big tee shirt and washing the day’s stress off your face. Feeling refreshed, you reentered the room and saw Rafe standing awkwardly in by the door.

“I, uh...don’t have any of my stuff. My dad kinda kicked me out before I could grab anything...” He rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed to be mentioning his current situation. Feeling a flash of sympathy, you held up one finger for him to hold on a second and hurried into your dad’s room. It wasn’t optimal to give him your father’s clothing, and was also kind of weird, but you had no other options. You took a plain pair of athletic shorts and a shirt before returning to your room.

“It’s kind of odd, but you can wear these.” Tossing the clothes to him, Rafe smiled gratefully. Without hesitating he stripped out of his shorts and polo shirt, clad only in boxers for a brief second. Gasping, you snapped your mouth shut so as not to appear dumbfounded. But Rafe clearly heard your reaction and sent a smirk your way, abs flexing as he pulled on the shorts.

“Thanks for the shirt, but I’ll go without it,” he said cockily, hands on his hips while the shorts hung low on his waist. Your face was flame red, and you bit your lip to prevent yourself from drooling at the sight of him.

Wordlessly, the two of you got into bed. The covers were thick and warm, the pillows freshly fluffed and never slept on. Like magnets, you and Rafe ended up closer than intended, his arm hooked around your shoulder so he could haul you into him. Resting on his bare chest, one hand curled by his side, you breathed a long sigh of relief, staring up at the slow-moving ceiling fan.

In the darkness you felt safe. There wasn’t anyone around to see you or judge you, and you could breathe in Rafe’s smell and presence all you wanted. You couldn’t deny it felt amazing being in his arms, and for a brief instant you thought this was worth Sarah’s fury.

Rafe was gently stroking your hair and back, hands lulling you into a blissful state of calm. You puckered your lips ever so slightly against his skin, and you felt him take a deep breath.

“You know, I really loved your trailer,” he said out of the blue.

Twisting so you could look up at him, you furrowed your brows. “Really? It’s a tin can compared to where you live.” Lived, you added in your head, remembering Ward’s anger.

Rafe shook his head. “That’s just a big empty house. Your trailer felt like a real home. Like...real love lived there, you know? I’ve never felt that way about my place.” His tone was serious, and he stared out into the dark as he spoke.

This almost made you sad. Rafe was certainly troubled, but how could he not be? There were so many hardships in his life that no one knew about, not even Sarah. He made his fair share of mistakes, but you felt like you knew the genuine heart that was inside of him.

“Sarah was really angry,” you murmured, remembering her furious expression. “I don’t know if she’ll ever forgive me for this.” You felt Rafe freeze at the word this. After all, what even was this? Right now, it was the warmth of his arms around you and the steady rise and fall of his chest.

Rafe didn’t answer for a second. But then he tightened his hold on you, and pressed a light kiss to the top of your head. “I want to be better for you, Y/N,” he whispered, a huge weight behind his words. You felt tingles all through your veins when he said this, and you had to fight to keep a silly smile off your face.

Instead of answering, you tilted your face so it aligned with his, capturing his lips with your own. He greedily accepted the kiss, twining his tongue with yours as his hand came up to cradle your face. You felt intoxicated by his presence, melting into the kiss and pressing your bodies as close as possible.

Even after you both pulled away, you still felt more connected to him than ever. Snuggling into Rafe’s side, you closed your eyes and knew this would be the best night of sleep you’d ever have.

Turns out, you were right. You woke up to see morning light filtering into the room, and the pale yellow walls created the effect of dazzling sun. You stretched your arm out across the mattress, soaking in the last blissful seconds of drowsiness before you would have to get up.

As your hand skimmed the sheets, you realized Rafe was missing. Sitting up abruptly, you frantically glanced around and saw you were alone. The door to the bathroom was open, the interior quiet and empty. Frowning, you pushed the covers away and went to the door.

Before you saw or heard Rafe, you smelled him. Or rather, smelled the breakfast he was preparing. Sizzling bacon mixed with succulent fruit was wafting through the house, making your stomach growl. With a huge smile on your face, you hurried down the stairs and practically ran into the kitchen.

Sure enough, Rafe was busy pouring pancake batter onto a searing hot pan, and he jumped slightly at your greeting.

“Morning,” you said, trying to maintain your giddiness. He’s cooking for me, you thought excitedly. It had to have been the nicest thing someone had done for you in a while.

Taking a seat at the island, you leaned forward on your hands and watched dreamily as Rafe continued cooking. “How’d you know I’m a sucker for pancakes?” you asked, sneaking a finger into the bowl of batter and swiping it off happily with your tongue.

Rafe chuckled, flipping a few pancakes and throwing a dish towel over his shoulder for effect. “I don’t know, I guess I just had an intuition.” His smile sparkled, and you found yourself leaning closer. “Plus, the boxed mix was one of the only things in the pantry I knew how to make, so.”

Giggling, you took a sip of freshly poured orange juice and reveled in the amazing morning. Something about the smell of food or the sight of Rafe or your well-restedness made your entire body feel bubbly and light. Perhaps it was a mixture of all three, but Rafe was definitely the biggest factor.

When the food was finally all done, your plates piled high with goodies, you sat side by side with Rafe and chowed down. It felt good to just eat in comfortable silence, but your shoulders bumped together naturally. Gazing around the kitchen, you began to imagine what it would be like to do this all the time. Go to bed with Rafe, wake up to Rafe, eat with Rafe. You envisioned spending the day sprawled across the couch, watching cheesy game shows and sneaking kisses during commercial breaks. You thought of taking him to the docks, your favorite spot, and going swimming at twilight. You even pondered the idea of living with him, spending your entire life with him. It was so easy to picture it, and for a heartbeat you felt an overwhelming sense of desire for that life.

Your golden bubble was soon popped by the sound of the front door slamming open. Whirling around on the stool, you saw JJ leading the other Pogues through the foyer and right towards you.

“What are you doing?” you exclaimed, jumping out of your seat and backing away. Rafe too slid off the stool, going behind the island as if to use it as a shield. You wanted to follow him and grab his hand, but you also didn’t want to shy away from your friends.

“We have the same question for you,” Kiara spat, her glare vicious and directed right at Rafe. “Once Sarah told us about what she saw on the beach, we knew something was wrong.”

Pope took a kinder approach, using a steady tone and clear words. “Y/N, we just want to know why you’re suddenly hanging around a guy like this. You’re going to get hurt.”

“A guy like me?” Rafe repeated, brows lowered over his dark blue eyes. You flashed him a warning glance, praying he didn’t retaliate too hard.

John B. squared his chest and sent him a threatening look. “Yeah, a guy who beats other people to a pulp and screws around with girls. You really think we’d let Y/N anywhere near you?”

“I’m not your pet!” you snapped. “I can make my own choices! I can hang out with whoever I want.” You took a step closer to Rafe.

JJ snorted. “He’s got you brainwashed. The guy’s a mastermind manipulator, and you’re falling right into his trap.” He gestured to the breakfast laid out on the table. “I mean, what are you doing, playing house here?”

“No, we were just--” You felt Rafe’s eyes lock onto yours, a silent don’t say anything communicated between you. He didn’t want them to know Ward had kicked him out. Nodding ever so slightly, you faced the Pogues again. “This is my dad’s house, I’m allowed to be here.”

They weren’t having it. John B. shook his head and demanded, “Back off, Rafe. You’re only making her life worse.” Rafe didn’t flinch at the other boy’s threat, just set his jaw and held his ground.

“He isn’t doing anything to me,” you defended. “I promise, guys, this isn’t as terrible as you all think.” You wished they could know the Rafe who had woken up early to make breakfast, or the Rafe who’d held you in his arms last night.

It was Sarah’s turn to say something. She’d stayed quiet up to now, but you could see the storm brewing behind her eyes. “Y/N,” she started slowly, saying your name carefully and coldly. “Can’t you see what he’s doing to you? Before him, you were so carefree and bubbly. Now all the time you look miserable, not to mention you’re distancing yourself from your family and friends. I mean, why did you feel the need to come here?” She motioned to the house. “This place is huge and empty, and it’s more of a hiding place than a home. If Rafe is so good, why couldn’t you bring him to your real home? To your friends and family?”

Mouth hanging open, words dried in your throat. You wanted to say that you did bring Rafe home, but the entire time you were humiliated. And she was right, you had been avoiding your friends and family to be with Rafe. But you thought it was for the best, that the two worlds could never get along.

“This is what he does,” Sarah continued, twisting the knife in deeper. You looked helplessly at Rafe, torn between him and your friends. “He can’t change. No matter how much you think he cares for you, he’ll never be enough.”

Rafe held your gaze with a heartbreaking expression. His blue eyes were glassy, practically begging you to say something. And you wanted to; you wanted to defend him, to rush over and throw your arms around him. You wanted him to be the person you thought he was.

But you weren’t sure. And this uncertainty kept you glued to the spot, suddenly feeling miles away from him.

Blinking away the moisture in his eyes, Rafe nodded once. He threw the towel off of his shoulder onto the counter, scanning each Pogue with an unreadable look. Without even glancing your way, he brushed past you and headed right out the front door.

~ ~ ~

taglist

@prejudic3 @afterglows7b-tch13 @beeeee06 @dysaneworld @we-are-all-lovely @luckypurpleunicorn @poguequeen @solko @freebiscuitdragonbear @sunflowerkxsses @tembo-ndoto @justcallmesams @theworldofimagines @rafescameron @jjs-housekeeping @spencereidbasis @sexytholland @odelia-d32 @ayybecca @yesp0ny @multifandomlovess @urlocalbrochure @erinvitkowski

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jjoutermaybanks · 4 years

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With You In My Head || Rafe Cameron x Reader

part one part two part three part four part five part six part seven part eight

word count: 3.1k

warnings: abuse, references violence

*not my gif, credit to owner*

PART SIX

Nearly a week had passed, and you hadn’t seen Rafe since that fateful night in the bathroom. Technically you were avoiding him, always asking Sarah to meet you places and never going back to her house. You knew if you saw Rafe it would only complicate things more, and you didn’t know if you could deal with that headache right now.

The way he had kissed you passionately made you terrified. You had only done what you did because you wanted to be even with him so he stopped dangling the night on the chair over your head. You thought you had freed yourself from his clutches, but after that kiss you knew you more trapped than ever.

You were scared of the possibilities that kiss opened up. What did he mean he never wanted to be even? Did he want to pursue something more serious than your sporadic hook ups? Or were you just that--an occasional fling to take the edge off a dreary summer? You were unsure which you preferred, if any. The only thing you knew was that avoiding Rafe made these problems all but disappear.

Throwing yourself into Pogue life helped to distract you. You and JJ grew closer, although it was strictly platonic. Sometimes he would joke about the steamy kiss you gave him, which always ended with a playful shove and an eye-roll. Days were spent roaming the island and nights were spent laying in John B.’s hammock, enjoying the starry skies with your best friends.

You were hardly home, which concerned your mother. You promised her you weren’t doing anything dangerous, but with multiple consecutive days away from the trailer she was bound to start worrying. She also kept pushing more dinners with your dad, but you grimaced every time she offered. The dinner party hadn’t gone atrociously, but the memory was scarred by what happened with Rafe.

One day, with the sun scorching down from the clouds, you, Kiara, and Sarah were hanging out at the Chateau waiting for the guys to return. They’d been gone longer than you expected, so something had to have been wrong.

Your suspicions were proven when the grumble of the van’s engine approached, and the three of you craned your necks to watch the guys approach. Once you got a glimpse of them, your jaws immediately dropped.

Pope’s shirt was torn apart, hanging off his shoulders in shredded rags. John B. had a cut lip and bloody knuckles, an angry glint shining in his eyes. JJ’s blonde muscle shirt was stained crimson, a big purple bruise blotching his cheek. They looked like they’d been through hell, and you had a feeling you knew who gave it to them.

“What the fuck?” Kiara exclaimed, jumping to her feet before rushing over to the guys. She gingerly brought a hand to JJ’s face, but he ducked away with a scowl. Kiara frowned, then asked, “What happened?

“Topper and Rafe happened,” John B. hissed, wincing as Sarah grasped his face in her hands. “Kelce too. He was the one who gave me this.” He pointed to his busted lip, and Sarah let out a small whimper.

Your mouth agape, you saw a flash of Rafe’s psychotic eyes in your mind from the last fight you witnessed. You had nearly forgotten what an animal he could become, and JJ’s wounds only proved this further. Swallowing a lump in your throat, you dared to ask, “Why did they come after you?” In a way, you didn’t even want to know. Nothing could justify this.

“We were just minding our own business, delivering groceries over in Kookville,” Pope began, voice laced with anger. “And they must have gotten sick of seeing our faces on their side of the island, so they attacked us.”

“Topper says we dented his boat,” John B. added. “And Rafe said something about our reckless behavior ruining other people’s lives, whatever the hell that means.”

You froze; Rafe was referring to you. He hated the Pogues for their dangerous antics, of which you were now involved. But you didn’t think your friends were ruining your life. Sure you had to run from cops a few times and pissed off a few island locals, but your life wasn’t even close to being ruined. His intense protectiveness over you was getting to a dangerous level, and you cringed at JJ’s bruises undoubtedly delivered by Rafe.

“This stupid turf war has gone too far,” Sarah cried, looking overwhelmed. “Just because you’re Pogues they think they have the right to beat you up?”

“I would beat up any Kook I could right now,” JJ said darkly, and John B. whipped his head around to glare at him.

“Shut up, JJ. Sarah’s a Kook. And Kie too, technically.” JJ’s expression turned guilty, and John B. shook his head. “The problem isn’t Kooks versus Pogues. It’s Topper, Rafe, and Kelce. We’ve beaten them in a fight once before, we can do it again.”

“No, please don’t fight them,” you begged. “That’s not gonna solve anything, just cause more tension.” You were surprised at yourself for jumping to the Kook’s defense so quickly, but you knew it was the logical thing to do. “The best way to beat the Kooks is to ignore them. Act like they don’t exist, and it’ll hurt their massive egos. Don’t let them get to you, and they won’t.”

Your words were met with silence. But then after a second, Pope nodded. “She’s right. We could all get a hundred black eyes and it wouldn’t stop the fighting.”

Kiara pressed her lips together in a firm line, emotions swirling behind her eyes. “They feed off of your hatred, so if you put up a cold front it’ll take the wind out of their sails.”

“Exactly,” Sarah emphasized. “And plus, it’ll spare you all some bruises. It’s a win-win plan.” She sent you a warm smile, and you were glad you could help come up with a solution to this problem. Secretly, you also knew it would help Rafe. No fighting the Pogues meant no injuries for your friends, but also the Kooks. Rafe would be unscathed as well.

For the next hour you helped the guys clean up their wounds. Nothing looked like it needed stitches, but nearly a whole box of band-aids was used. Blood-soaked gauze piled up in the trash can, and you watched the sink water wash away the last remaining drops from the porcelain. Everyone was exhausted, and the feeling of defeat was prominent.

“I’ve gotta go back to The Wreck,” Kiara said regretfully, giving Pope’s shoulders an encouraging squeeze. “You guys just lay low and try not to get beat up, okay?”

JJ’s smile was clearly forced, the many band-aids on his body betraying his true pain. Sarah gave John B. a gentle kiss. “Me and Y/N are heading back to my house for a bit if you need to reach us.”

It was hard leaving the guys behind after such an awful day. Kiara peeled off after a little to head towards her dad’s restaurant, leaving you and Sarah alone on the long walk back to her house.

“I can’t believe this,” Sarah was muttering, pushing back her hair anxiously. “I can’t believe Rafe. I mean my own brother, for Christ’s sake.”

Biting your lip, you said, “I had no idea he was so violent.” You were testing the waters, trying to get some information out of Sarah. If Rafe truly was dangerous, you had to know the truth.

She scoffed. “Rafe has always been crazy. He can manipulate just about anyone into doing whatever the hell he wants.” After a few beats of silence, her brows furrowed angrily. “I mean, the shit he pulls with girls every summer is insane. In 3 months he manages to get them so in love with him they’re distraught at the thought of leaving. I swear he does it for fun at this point.”

You tried not to feel sick. Was that exactly what he was doing with you? It sure as hell seemed like it, although you definitely were not in love with him.

“No wonder Topper became insufferable after a while. It was because he spent so much time around Rafe.” Sarah was venting at this point, worked up and frustrated over her brother’s actions. She kicked rocks as she walked, fuming. “I don’t know what his problem is. You know one time, when my dad refused to get Rafe a new car, he came to me with a black eye and claimed Ward gave it to him. Tried to manipulate me into hating our dad so I would be on his side. How fucked up is that?”

Her words shocked you. You knew Ward was a strict father, but did he deserve to have Rafe lie about him? Especially to Sarah, his own daughter. Maybe Rafe was a master manipulator after all, bending people’s perceptions to fit his own agenda.

But the smallest voice in the back of your head was saying what if Rafe wasn’t lying? You remembered the way he spoke about his own father, calling him only ‘sir’ or ‘Ward.’ Rafe had sounded so believable when he talked about his dad’s behavior, but you also knew he could’ve been lying then too.

Your head was spinning with all of the new information. It would take more than a walk to figure out what you believed, and as you neared the Cameron house you attempted to push these warring thoughts aside.

Stepping in side the large foyer, you glanced through the room to see if anyone else was home. Sarah mentioned running to her room to grab something quickly, and you just nodded absently as she ascended the stairs.

Walking slowly through the house, you folded your arms and hugged your sides, sighing. What a day. As you were about to take a seat at the kitchen island, two familiar voices could be heard yelling from the back porch.

“What the hell is wrong with you Rafe? Do you want to do anything with your life?” This was Ward, his voice raised to a thunderous boom. You flinched at the sound even from the kitchen.

“Of course I do!” Rafe countered, and you heard his voice shaking. “I’m still young, so I’ve still got lots of time--”

“Lots of time? By the time I was your age I was working for my father full-time and establishing a name for myself! You don’t seem to give a shit about the business, your legacy!”

You had wandered out of the kitchen towards the porch, hiding behind a wall so you could peer around and glimpse the altercation. Ward was standing tall and towering over Rafe, who was trying to stand straight but looked terrified under his father’s shadow.

“I just don’t know if I want to go into the family business,” Rafe explained feebly.

You could almost feel Ward’s simmering fury from here. “Oh, really? I set this life up for you on a silver fucking platter and you throw it in my face?”

“No!” Rafe defended, throwing his hands up. “I just don’t want the same life you have--”

A gut-wrenching crack interrupted his words. You saw Rafe’s body crumple to the ground with a thud, and a gasp escaped your throat. Ward’s fist was raised, and he flexed his knuckles after delivering such a hard punch.

You slapped a hand to your mouth, heart racing and eyes wide with terror. You’d never seen anyone hit that hard, let alone a father hitting his son. Rafe’s groans were soft but struck your heart like a knife, and he couldn’t even get to his feet.

Ward loomed over his son. “You’re an ungrateful waste of space,” he spat, before storming off into his study. You whirled around, quickly running out of the kitchen and his line of sight. You had no idea what Ward would do if he caught you eavesdropping.

The door to the study slammed closed, so you figured you were in the clear. Tip-toeing towards the porch, you saw that Rafe had disappeared. Looking out the screen door towards the horizon, you caught sight of him running towards the beach.

Without even thinking, you ripped the porch door open and followed, breaking into a sprint in order to catch up. He was so far ahead that by the time you got to the beach, Rafe was already sitting in the sand, his head buried in his hands.

Hesitating, you didn’t know how to approach him. You hadn’t seen Rafe in days, and your view of him was so skewed at this point you didn’t even know how to comfort him.

Unfortunately, he sensed your presence and turned around before you could come up with a plan. Watery blue eyes landed on your face, and his jaw tightened. You gasped at the sight of him; a huge had opened on his forehead where Ward must have struck him, and it was bleeding down his face. His expression was haunted, and you almost felt like you could barely stand.

He said nothing, just turned back to look out at the ocean.

Clearing your throat lightly, you took a few steps forward until you reached him, settling into the sand beside him. Hugging your knees to your chest, you prayed the right words would come. But your chest had tightened at the sight of his bruised face, and the image of Ward hitting him played like a horror movie in your brain.

Rafe spoke first. “How much did you see?” His voice was gravelly, and he was clearly trying hard to keep it level.

“Almost all of it,” you answered softly. “I saw him...” You trailed off, not wanting to say the words aloud.

He sniffled slightly, rubbing his hand across his face to clear some of the blood. “So what, you pity me now?” Venom was evident in his tone, and it made you flinch.

“No, Rafe, I just...I understand you better now.” This was the truth; everything Sarah had said suddenly made sense. She had claimed Rafe lied about being hit by Ward, but now you knew he had actually been telling her the truth. And if Sarah was so quick not to believe him, then he was truly alone in his family, stuck with an abusive father and an oblivious sister. The thought broke your heart in two, and all you wanted to do was reach out and hold the injured boy next to you.

Rafe glanced at you, his expression vulnerable but his eyes steely. “I thought Sarah had turned you against me.”

You simply shrugged. “She told me how she feels about you, but I knew I needed to figure it out for myself.”

“So avoiding me was the best way to do that?” His blunt question took you by surprise, and you shook your head.

“I didn’t know how I felt. I knew if I was around you I wouldn’t be able to...think straight.” You said the last part with a blush, biting your lip and averting your eyes from his. Rafe twisted his body to face you better, and his gaze warmed your cheeks.

“Well? Have you figured me out yet?” He said this slightly jokingly, but also with a bitter undertone. You worked up the courage to meet his eyes, bracing yourself for what you found there. His blue orbs captured yours, nearly stealing your breath away.

“I think I have an idea,” you whispered. “You have problems, Rafe. Problems that no amount of joking around or partying can fix. I do believe you’re a good person underneath it all, but you go around destroying other people because you can’t handle your own issues.”

He didn’t react at first to your confession, taking it all in with a thoughtful expression. You inhaled slightly, and kept going. “I know who you are, and I know who you can be if you have the strength to change. But I...I don’t think I have the strength to help you.” All you wanted was to see Rafe mature and be the kind, funny guy you knew he was. But you also knew you had so much else going on that taking on his problems would crush you, no matter how much you wanted to. The thought of leaving Rafe alone to battle his demons hurt you, but it was all you could manage.

Rafe tilted his head, eyes misting as he examined your face. The sound of the waves crashing in the distance was soothing, and you relished the feeling of being the only two people in the world at this moment.

He shook his head ever so slightly, almost out of disbelief. “Y/N,” he breathed, and the sound of your name made your heart skip a beat. “You’re the strongest person I know. You’re the best person I know.” His face turned sad. “I hate that I’m bringing you down with me.”

“Oh, Rafe,” you murmured, running a hand through your hair and shaking your head. “I’m a mess. More of a mess than you think I am.”

A small smile played across his lips, and you felt him raise his arm to touch your face gently. You leaned into him, craving his touch with every fiber of your being.

The way he was looking at you almost stopped your heart. No one had ever looked at you so intimately, with so much feeling and emotion pouring out of them. Rafe looked at you like you really were the only other person in the world.

“Good,” he whispered. “We can be messes together.” With the gentlest of touches, he brought his lips to yours.

Like a magnet, you connected with him instantly. His lips were warm and soft, inviting you in deeper. His fingers held your cheek, and you brought your hand to cradle his neck. This kiss was different than the other ones you shared. This was slower, lighter, but somehow with more emotion than ever before. You just wanted to hold and be held by him, and you brought your body closer so you pressed against him. Rafe’s touch was electric, and it made your body hum with life.

After a minute you broke the kiss, leaning your forehead against his as you breathed together. It was like a golden bubble had formed around the two of you, and nothing else mattered in this space.

That is, until you looked past his shoulder up at the hill and saw a familiar figure gawking down at you. Sarah’s blonde hair was blowing in the wind, and even from here you could see the sheer shock in her brown eyes as she clearly just witnessed you kissing her brother.

Suddenly, not even Rafe could calm the panic that just ignited in your chest.

~ ~ ~

taglist

@prejudic3 @afterglows7b-tch13 @beeeee06 @dysaneworld @we-are-all-lovely @luckypurpleunicorn @poguequeen @solko @freebiscuitdragonbear @sunflowerkxsses @tembo-ndoto @justcallmesams @theworldofimagines @rafescameron @jjs-housekeeping @spencereidbasis @sexytholland @odelia-d32 @ayybecca @yesp0ny @multifandomlovess @urlocalbrochure

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jjoutermaybanks · 4 years

Text

With You In My Head || Rafe Cameron x Reader

part one part two part three part four part five part six part seven part eight

word count: 4k

warnings: good old fashioned smut

*not my gif, credit to owner*

PART FIVE

Once again, guilt consumed you like a wildfire. But this time, it wasn’t guilt over Rafe; it was guilt for Rafe. Kissing JJ was a rash, spur-of-the-moment decision that you instantly regretted as soon as you tore your lips away. For one thing, you had zero feelings for JJ, and knew that this would confuse the blonde to no end. For another, you had hoped it would ignite something in Rafe, but instead it seemed to extinguish what little fire for you he had left.

Groaning, you flopped onto your bed that night and stared up at the dark ceiling. There was a reason you weren’t spontaneous, and always thought things through. That careful mindset helped you avoid mistakes like this. Grabbing a pillow, you pressed it to your face and screamed into the cushy material, letting it absorb the sound of your frustration.

“You’re an idiot,” you whispered aloud, teeth grinding and head spinning. What’s worse, you didn’t know when you’d see Rafe again, if you even would. Sarah was bound and determined to avoid him at all cost, and she was your only real link to the blue-eyed boy.

Maybe it’s better this way, you tried telling yourself. It’s not like anything would’ve happened with Rafe. Repeating these thoughts in your head, you forced away any memory of blue eyes or dazzling smiles. Better off without him, you believed.

The next day, in order to keep your mind off of your latest mistake, you took your bike out for a spin. You used to love biking as a kid, and it was a serene hobby that was much-needed at the time. You wove through familiar neighborhoods until you were in the heart of The Cut, near JJ’s house. Almost out of instinct you veered onto his street to pass by his trailer.

As luck would have it, the Pogue was right outside his front door when you approached. Slowing to a halt, you hopped off your bike and sent him a wave.

“Well, well, well,” he started as you walked up to the step where he sat. “Come to steal another kiss?”

Blushing, you pushed a lock of hair behind your ear and sighed. “About that...” you began, wondering how on earth you’d explain the bold kiss.

JJ grinned, nudging you with his shoulder. “Hey, it’s all good. I liked it. A lot, actually.” His eyes sparkled, but this reaction only caused you to cringe inwardly. The last thing you had wanted was to get JJ’s hopes up, only to inevitably smash them.

“Look, JJ...” Words escaped you, and you stared down at your feet rather than at him. “I didn’t know what I was thinking when I kissed you.”

He shrugged. “Sometimes those are the best kisses. All I’m saying is I’m game to do it again. I always thought there was something special about you.” You felt him leaning in, and instantly turned your head away in rejection.

Closing your eyes in embarrassment, you sighed. “I’m so sorry, JJ. But...there’s someone else, okay?” The words slipped out before you could think them through. You figured saying you liked someone else would let JJ down easy, but you could tell it only made him more curious.

Cocking an eyebrow, JJ whistled. “Alright, so Y/N has a little crush. Who might it be?” He didn’t sound hurt at your rejection of his kiss, which was a minor plus side. But you also knew how stubborn he could be, and that he was not going to let this go.

“JJ--” you stalled, clearly trying to backtrack. “I-It’s nothing, I swear. I’ll be over it by tomorrow, honest.”

He shook his head firmly. “Nope, no way. I just got rejected, so I think I deserve a little explanation as to why.” Even though JJ was joking, you still did not want to reveal who you were ‘crushing’ on.

Hugging your knees to your chest, you sighed again. “You cannot tell the others,” you predicated, voice stern. “I mean it JJ. Not a word of this to them.”

JJ pretended to zip his lips.

“Especially not Sarah,” you added quickly, causing his brows to raise in question. Wincing, you knew you just had to spit it out, so you murmured, “It’s Rafe.”

There was a beat of shocked silence. And then JJ’s face twisted into a mixture of surprise and disgust, making your heart drop. “Rafe? As in Rafe Cameron?”

All you could do was nod miserably.

JJ snorted. “You’ve got to be kidding, Y/N. He’s such a dirt-bag Kook. I mean, you saw the shit Topper did yesterday.”

“He’s not Topper,” you tried to defend, but your voice was weak.

“Yeah but he’s friends with him,” JJ countered. “He’s a sleaze who only cares about partying and sleeping around. All the Kooks are the same.”

Hurt by his harsh words, you said feebly, “What about Sarah? She is a Kook, you know. Maybe Rafe has the same potential.”

JJ shook his head. “No, something about that guy is just off. And I have the bruises to prove it.” He tilted his head to show the residual blue spots on his face where Rafe had beat him. Feeling sick to your stomach, you looked away from him and out at the distant forest.

“He’s different around me. Or at least he was.” No matter how much you pretended to hate Rafe, there was a reason he was always on your mind. It was his easy smile, his captivating charm. He made you feel better than you ever had before.

“When have you hung out with Rafe Cameron?” JJ sounded shocked you’d ever even exchanged words with the guy.

You shrugged. “I don’t know, we’ve run into each other on the beach a few times. And then he invited me to one of his parties, where we...spent time together.” JJ definitely caught your drift, because he groaned in disgust.

“Y/N!” he exclaimed, and you pushed at his arm.

“Don’t judge me JJ, alright? I already feel enough like shit.” Humiliation simmered in your stomach, and you felt sick just thinking about that night on the beach.

JJ put his hands up. “Alright, fine, no judgment. But seriously Y/N, he’s bad news.”

You frowned, resting your chin on your knees and wishing you were back in your bed. “I know. It’s not like we were ever gonna become anything, anyway,” you explained morbidly. JJ didn’t answer, probably not wanting to upset you any further. But your mood had already been ruined, and not even a serene bike ride could clear your cloudy thoughts.

You were so distracted by your disastrous talk with JJ that you failed to notice the fancy car parked outside your trailer when you got home. Instead you just walked right through the door and into an ambush.

“Sunshine!” Your dad stood in the middle of the living room, his smile plastered on so bright you took a minute to adjust. Your mother was in the kitchen, leaning against the counter almost for support. The look she gave you was full of sympathy, and you knew something bad was about to happen.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, skipping right over a greeting. Your dad almost never came over to The Cut, and it was strange seeing his expensive appearance in such a run-down trailer.

“Here to see you, of course,” he answered cheerfully. “I was just telling your mother about a dinner party I’m hosting at my place tonight. You’re both welcome to come.”

Your mother’s smile was pinched. “I have to work a double tonight,” she informed him. “But Y/N would love to go.”

Oh, would I? You wanted to strangle your mother for trying to force a relationship between you and your father. You knew her intentions were good, but the man was insufferable. After such a stressful few days, a dinner party with him might push you over the edge.

Working up the courage to speak, you said, “I really don’t think I can make it. I’m super tired--”

“So take a nap! It’s not till later tonight.”

Grimacing, you tried again. “Well, Sarah might want to do something--”

“Sarah will be there!” he interrupted. “It’s a joint dinner with Ward. Sort of a double family affair. All the Camerons will be there.”

This peaked your interest. Trying to mask your surprise, you cleared your throat. “Um, R-Rafe will be there? And Sarah?” you added quickly to cover your tracks.

“Of course. It’ll be fun, you’ve gotta come.” Your father’s exuberance was almost annoying enough to make you refuse. But the mere prospect of seeing Rafe again, and so soon, was tempting. You didn’t know if you’d ever get another opportunity to be relatively alone with him.

Finally nodding, you consented. “Okay, I’ll go.”

Your father’s eyes lit up. “Great! It’s a nice dinner party, so dress up a little. I’ve got a new suit I’ve been dying to try out.” You noticed your mother’s eye roll and stifled a smile. Your father left shortly after, and you exhaled as you fell against the door.

“I can’t believe you let him in here,” you told your mother, and she chuckled.

“I almost thought about keeping the door locked. But in all seriousness, Y/N, I want you and your father to spend time together. We have joint custody, you know.”

Scowling, you grumbled, “He’s barely even a parent to me anymore.” You didn’t say anything more before disappearing into your room. Preparing for this dinner would be an all afternoon task, and you set to work figuring out what to wear.

After tearing through your closet and attempting several awful makeup looks, you finally settled on the winning look. A thin-strapped, short white dress with vertical blue stripes and strappy sandals. The dress highlighted your shoulders and collarbone, and the shoes made your legs look tan and toned. Your tousled hair was thrown up into a bun that you hoped looked more put-together than it did in the mirror. As for makeup, you merely swiped on some mascara and lipgloss and walked out the door. The less dwelling you did on your appearance, the less terrified you’d be for the dinner.

The walk to Figure 8 was long but much-needed. You needed to mentally prepare for what was to come. First, putting up with your dad all night was bound to be a struggle. Second, figuring out what Rafe was thinking and if he was really mad at you. Third, and possibly most important, hiding your feelings about Rafe from Sarah. You knew if she ever found out what you’d done with her brother, she’s be furious. Somehow you had to get Rafe alone to talk.

Inhaling deeply as you approached the front door to your father’s house, you braced yourself for what was inside. You only knocked twice before the door swung open, but it was Ward who greeted you.

“Well hello there, Y/N,” he said with a grin. “Come on in; your dad’s almost done with the cooking.”

You smiled tightly. Your dad was an amazing cook, and your childhood was spent concocting the most fantastical recipes. Your heart clenched at the memories, and as you entered the kitchen it all but stopped at the sight of Rafe.

He was leaning nonchalantly against the cupboards, arms crossed. He wore a light blue suit complete with a dark bow-tie, looking clean and professional with his gelled hair and suave expression. He glimpsed you, and his smirk faltered slightly. You hoped it was because you looked good in your dress, and not because he was unhappy to see you.

“Y/N,” he said simply, tone unreadable.

“Rafe,” you responded, holding his gaze. His blue eyes stayed locked on yours, but then Sarah breezed by and the moment ended.

“Thank God you’re here,” she told you. “I’ve had to put up with dad jokes and Rafe all on my own.” She sent her brother a glare, and Rafe’s distant smile made butterflies spiral into your stomach.

“Happy to be here,” you forced out. Everyone gathered around the dining table, where a lavish array of food was already spread out. Rafe sat across from you, Sarah to your left and your father at the head of the table with Ward beside his son. You had no idea where to look since Rafe’s face was front and center.

“I hope everything tastes good,” your father admitted, feigning humility. “I haven’t cooked a full meal in forever.”

“It’s delicious,” Sarah commented. Ward nodded and raised his fork in agreement.

Distracted by Rafe’s proximity, you failed to realize everyone’s eyes were on you.

“Honey? What do you think?” Your father sounded hopeful, and you knew he considered you his number one critic.

“It’s good,” you confirmed, but you hadn’t even touched your plate yet. You pushed the food around with your fork, too nervous to eat.

“So, Rafe. You’re not enrolled in college and you don’t have a job--what are you doing?” your father asked. You knew he was trying to joke, but he was always one to make very blunt comments like this. Rafe swallowed roughly, caught off guard by the forward question.

“Um...” he started, pushing a hand through his hair. Once again it messed up the gel, and you bit your lip as a piece fell over his forehead. “Trying to figure it all out, I guess,” he said with a small laugh. “I like the idea of going into business, and a college degree isn’t necessarily a requirement.”

Your father considered this. “Yeah, I guess you make a fair point. Y/N here is definitely college-bound, aren’t you sunshine?”

With the attention on you now, you flushed. “Er, I guess so.”

“You want to be an engineer, right sweetie? You were always so obsessed with those building blocks as a kid. I swear, she’ll design the next wonder of the world.” He and Ward chuckled at this, and Sarah shot you a smile. Rafe was regarding you closely, eyes filled with something you couldn’t quite decipher.

Since the beginning of dinner, tension had risen between you and the blue-eyed boy. It was almost palpable, making it hard to breathe. Whenever Rafe would move, you were acutely aware. You sensed every smile, every ruffling of hair. Whenever his eyes skimmed yours you felt electrified, and eventually you felt your cheeks grow warm. You prayed Sarah wasn’t picking up on your change in mood, and attempted to calm your racing heartbeat.

“Do you have a country club membership yet, Y/N?” Ward asked you. When you shook your head, he continued, “Gotta fix that, then. It’s one of the best perks of this island. We’ll get you a pass and then Rafe can show you around, since he knows it the best.” He elbowed his son, who gave you a long, meaningful look.

“Sure. I’ll do whatever she wants.” The words were heated, and they made your lips part in surprise. Rafe was bold with his choice of words, but fortunately only you had caught on to the innuendo.

“Oh, great!” your father responded. “That would be fun.”

Sarah snorted. “I’m sure hanging out with my brother is going to be loads of fun,” she joked, and you forced a chuckle to appease her. Glancing up at Rafe, you met his amused expression with a blush.

Dinner was winding to a close, and everyone was bringing their plates to the kitchen. Sarah’s phone rang, and she squealed as she went to answer it in the next room. It was probably John B., and you knew she’d be occupied for at least half an hour. Ward and your father were in an intense discussion about basketball brackets, so you and Rafe were on no one’s radar.

After leaving your empty plate in the sink, you turned to see Rafe striding down the hallway. Eyes narrowing, you didn’t want to miss this chance. So you rushed to catch up with him, surprising him by grabbing his arm and pulling him into the small bathroom just off the kitchen.

Once locked inside the tight space, you faced Rafe and folded your arms. He mussed his hair and gazed down at you, taking in your appearance in the yellow fluorescent lighting.

“’I’ll do whatever she wants’,” you stated, one brow raised. “Really, Rafe? Way to be subtle.”

His smirk widened, and he brought one hand to the wall so you felt surrounded by his presence. “It’s true. Whatever you want, baby.”

You ignored the way his words made your legs press together, and you shook your head incredulously. “You must be out of your mind.”

“Oh, I’m the one who’s out of my mind? What was that shit with JJ on the boat yesterday?”

Smiling evilly, you twirled the end of your hair innocently. “Saw that, did you?”

Rafe scoffed, jaw flexing as he controlled what you perceived to be as either anger or jealousy. “Don’t bullshit me. You wanted me to see it.”

Pursing your lips, you shrugged. “I don’t know, I don’t really think of you that often, to be honest.”

At your challenging words, Rafe took a step forward and closed the minimal space between your bodies. His head tilted down so you could stare deeply into his eyes, and the blue orbs had you captivated.

“Really? So you haven’t been thinking about me?” You shook your head. “You haven’t been thinking about how good I made you feel? How I had you calling my name into the night sky?”

Shivering, you closed your eyes and smiled. “You’re quite proud of yourself for that, aren’t you?”

Rafe’s eyes sparkled. “I made you crumble, Y/N. That’s a pretty impressive feat if I do say so myself.”

All of the tension and nerves from the night culminated into bravery. You channeled that energy into your next actions, refusing to let fear get in the way.

Grabbing his face, you brought Rafe’s lips down to yours. He melted into the kiss immediately, and his hands wrapped around your back until your chests were crushed together.

You pushed your tongue against his, and Rafe groaned into your mouth. Fingers holding his face against yours, you arched your body into his embrace. Rafe gripped your shoulders, surely leaving marks on the delicate skin. You moved your lips from his across his jaw and down to his neck, sucking and biting until he was breathing hard in your ear.

By now his back was pressed against the bathroom door, and you heard his fingers deftly turn the lock, ensuring no one would catch you. Kissing down his collarbone, you expertly undid his bow-tie and started on the buttons to his shirt.

“You don’t like the suit?” Rafe joked, his voice gravelly as you kissed down the skin you steadily exposed with each pop of a button. Pushing the suit and shirt off his shoulders, you smiled slyly up at him.

“I do. I just like it better off.” His eyes rolled back, a smile lighting up his face. You were kneeling before him know, face level with his crotch. You could already tell he was hard beneath his pants, and bit your lip before reaching out to undo his belt.

“Shit,” Rafe hissed, chest heaving with effort to control himself as you pulled his pants down. Feeling across the front of his boxers, you gently squeezed his hard length and caused him to flinch.

Grinning, you slowly dragged your fingers across the waistband of his boxers, teasing him slightly. Rafe was cursing under his breath, clearly hot and heavy and more than ready for you to actually touch him.

You brought down the final layer of clothing until his cock sprang free. He was rock hard, veins sticking out of the thick skin. You were slightly shocked by his side, but didn’t hesitate before reaching out and taking it in your hand.

Rafe exhaled harshly, mouth open as he gazed down at you. His eyes were dark with lust, pupils blown out from need. Your breath washed over the tip of his cock, making him twitch in your hand.

Tilting your head, you licked a long stripe up the side of his length. The skin was warm and taught, and you licked around his tip which was already slick with pre-cum. Closing your lips around the head, you hollowed out your cheeks and twisted your tongue against his hot member.

His hands were fisted by his sides, and you could tell he wanted to let out loud moans of pleasure. You moved your mouth to take in more of him, almost reaching the hilt before his tip hit the back of your throat. Rafe couldn’t resist, and a low moan left his lips.

Pulling his cock out of your mouth, you whispered, “Shhh” before pressing a light kiss to his slit. Rafe groaned, gripping his hair tightly as he tried to swallow his moans.

You moved your mouth up and down his length rhythmically, hands twisting at what you couldn’t reach. Your fingers gently curled around his balls, and in combination with your mouth this caused a string of curses to escape his lips.

“Fuck,” he murmured when you took him particularly deep, cheeks hollowed out as you tightened your lips around him. You worked him with your mouth and tongue for a minute longer, looking up at him through your lashes.

This look must have pushed him over the edge, because your name tumbled from his lips before his cock jerked, spurting out sticky liquid into the back your throat.

Working him down from his high, you kissed his hipbone before bringing his boxers and pants back up. With a triumphant smirk, you got to your feet and put your hands on your hips.

Rafe was still breathing hard, but his expression was quizzical now. “What does this mean?” he wondered, redoing his belt. His hair was messed up severely now, and you desperately wanted to run your fingers through the silky strands.

In the haze of your lust for him, you hadn’t actually considered what this meant. You hadn’t come tonight expecting to do this, but you didn’t exactly regret it either. Frowning, you answered, “I have no idea.”

He looked closely at you, a small smile playing across his lips. Rafe shrugged on his shirt and suit jacket, redoing the buttons while you watched. You recalled your conversation before you kissed him, and added, “I just wanted to be even. You made me crumble, and now I just made you crumble. We’re square.”

Rafe narrowed his eyes at this. A heartbeat passed, and then he grabbed you by the shoulders and ripped you towards him. Your lips smashed together, and his tongue instantly battled with yours. You moaned lightly, a hand resting against his chest. His fingers held your face against his, passion seeping from his movements. You were shocked by how electrified this kiss was, and when he finally broke it you could barely breathe.

Pushing a small lock of hair behind your ear, Rafe gazed deeply into your eyes. “I don’t want to be even,” he whispered, and your mouth fell open in surprise.

But then he was unlocking the door and disappearing into the hallway, leaving you alone and confused, lips still tingling with the after-effects of his kiss.

~ ~ ~

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jjoutermaybanks · 4 years

Text

With You In My Head || Rafe Cameron x Reader

part one part two part three part four part five part six part seven part eight

word count: 3.3k

warnings: references sex, angst

*not my gif, credit to owner*

PART FOUR

You had never run home faster in your life. By the time you shut the door and collapsed against it, you were out of breath and aching from your miles of sprinting. But the fear and adrenaline was what gave you the energy to make it, and now that you were home the real anxiety could set in.

Tonight was way too close. One second later and Sarah could’ve found you in quite a compromising position with her brother. You knew the tumultuous relationship between the two of them, and because you were Sarah’s best friend you obviously had to be on her side. You knew that if she found out what you did tonight--and what you had wanted to do before you were interrupted--that Sarah might stay mad at you forever.

Blowing out a sigh, you anxiously pushed a hand through your hair and tried to forget about how good tonight felt. In between flashes of Rafe’s hands on your body, you forced yourself to remember your anger at him, your frustration at being stranded at the party. But the feeling of his lips on your skin and his voice in your ear was too much to ignore--he was everywhere, all over you, despite the distance you’d forced between you. You craved his touch again, and only wished you could’ve returned the favor.

Shut up, you scolded yourself. It was a stupid thing to do, and it’s over now. You don’t have to see him again. You changed out of your clothes from the party, throwing them into the corner of your room as you tugged on a big sweatshirt. You hoped the warm fabric would drown out the lingering fire left by Rafe’s fingers. As you climbed into bed, you focused your brain on anything but the boy you left behind.

But despite your better judgment, the smallest yearning to see his bright blue eyes stuck with you, no matter how hard you tried to move on. This yearning stuck around through the next day, which you spent determinedly at home. When Sarah texted you asking to hang out, you faked a stomach bug so you could lay around moping. Your mother didn’t ask any questions, but you knew you couldn’t stay cooped up forever.

Sarah finally convinced you to go out the next day. She and the rest of the Pogues were making the rounds delivering groceries, and you figured spending time with them would help get your mind off of Rafe.

“Enjoying yourself?” JJ asked as he settled beside you. You were laying atop the deck of the HMS Pogue, head tilted to the sun so you could soak up the rays. JJ handed you a beer, which you happily accepted and clinked against his own bottle.

“You guys have the greatest lives, I swear,” you told him, swigging some of the beer. You didn’t mind the taste and knew it would take more than one bottle to get you even remotely tipsy.

JJ chuckled. “Great is one word to describe it. Reckless, dangerous, chaotic; those work too.”

Grinning, you leaned back on your elbows and watched Sarah nuzzle into John B’s neck as he steered the boat. They were beyond cute, and for a brief instant you remembered the way someone else had kissed your neck.

Shuddering, you took another big sip. JJ noticed your odd reaction. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you answered quickly. “Just jealous of Sarah, that’s all.” You hoped your deflection method worked, and judging by JJ’s eye roll you succeeded.

“Tell me about it. Those two really know how to make a guy feel lonely.”

Your smile faltered slightly. JJ was such a nice, charming guy. Why couldn’t you like him instead of intense, unpredictable Rafe? Not that you liked Rafe, but JJ wasn’t exactly the one occupying your thoughts. You wished the blonde boy was the one you were daydreaming about, but sadly he barely crossed your mind.

The next few days were spent exactly like that one; adventuring with the Pogues, avoiding Figure 8 and all thoughts of Rafe. One advantage of staying away from that side of the island was that you didn’t have to see your dad. Occasionally your mother would try to press you into visiting, but she could tell your last visit had gone horribly and you didn’t feel like trying again so soon.

The Pogues didn’t just take your mind off of Rafe; they actively turned you against him. The way they talked about the Kooks shined a light on Topper and Kelce and all the other people Rafe hung around. They sounded like total snobs, and over time you found yourself embarrassed that you wasted time thinking about Rafe. Instead, you embraced the Pogue life and journeyed all around The Cut until you rarely ever thought about your little slip-up.

One morning though, after jolting awake from a particularly hot and heavy dream, all of your hard work went right out the window. Even in slumber you still thought of Rafe, more specifically Rafe’s hands. They were all over you, drifting across your body and igniting sparks on your skin. The dream left you tingling and frustrated when you finally woke up, and the only thing you wanted was the release he had given you that night on the beach.

Later that day you met up with the Pogues at the dock. JJ saw your irritated scowl and quirked up an eyebrow.

“Wake up on the wrong side of the bed?” he asked, and you huffed.

“You could say that,” you grumbled, arms crossed in annoyance. “I can’t wait to get on that boat and sail away from here.” Really, you wanted to sail away from your thoughts.

JJ nodded. “I get what you mean. Unfortunately though, we can’t exactly leave for good.”

Kiara and Pope were busy preparing packed lunches at The Wreck, and John B. and Sarah joined you moments later. As you waited, three frustratingly familiar figures were striding across the docks in your direction.

“Topper,” John B. called out in a clipped tone. Topper’s smirk was twisted, and Kelce scowled beside him. You forced yourself not to look at Rafe. Even out of your peripheral vision you knew he looked good. His button down shirt was open and billowing in the breeze, his board shorts low on his hips and accentuating his abdomen. The sunglasses perched on his nose prevented you from figuring out if he was watching you. You couldn’t decide if you wanted him to or not.

“Come to get another ass-kicking?” JJ demanded, squaring up so you were blocked by his shoulder. He was doing this to protect you, and you noticed the tightness in Rafe’s jaw as he regarded JJ with a frown.

“Relax, scrappy,” Topper retaliated. “We’re picking up food before we hit the water. I’ve got myself a fancy new boat that would ride circles around your crappy tin can.”

John B. took a step towards him. “I bet a long scratch would look real nice on the side, don’t you think?” As Topper was about to reply, Sarah stepped forward and sighed loudly.

“Cool it with the testosterone,” she said, rolling her eyes and pushing John B. back gently. “These sleaze-bags aren’t worth it, let’s just get our food and go.”

John B. and JJ listened to her as she led them towards The Wreck, and Topper and Kelce quickly followed behind, muttering in their wake. You were about to go join your friends when a hand closed around your elbow.

“Y/N,” Rafe hissed, keeping his voice low and glancing around. You wrenched your elbow away, huffing in annoyance and scowling his way. Rafe took off his sunglasses and tucked them into his pocket, revealing his blazing blue eyes that immediately caught you off guard.

“What do you want?” You tried to sound authoritative, folding your arms defensively. But Rafe’s intense gaze was making your stomach flutter, and it was hard to stay angry at him.

“Since when do you hang out with them?” he asked pointedly, spitting the word them like it was sour. You scowled.

“You mean my friends?” you fired back. “Why wouldn’t I hang out with them?”

“Do you know the kind of shit they get themselves into?” He ran a hand through his gelled hair, messing it up and leaving it ruffled in a way that made your knees weak. “They’re dangerous, Y/N. You’re gonna get in trouble if you keep hanging around them.”

“Oh, and you’re so innocent? Your friends throw under-aged keggers and go around beating people up. Why should I want to be with you?” You winced; you hadn’t meant to phrase it that way. You shouldn’t have implied Rafe wanted you to be with him, and his surprised reaction told you it caught him off guard as well.

He recovered quickly though, the intensity never waning in his eyes. “I thought we were getting close,” he admitted, his voice soft. The sudden vulnerability threw you off, but you kept your composure and cleared your throat.

“We talked once on the beach, Rafe. You tricked me into going to a stupid party where I was miserable the whole time.” You purposely left off the part of that night that had been haunting you for days.

Rafe wasn’t going to let this slide, though. “What about after the party?” he challenged, stepping closer to you. You were grateful the others weren’t around to see how flustered you were getting just by Rafe’s presence.

“W-what about it?” you stuttered dumbly, falling right into his trap.

“When we were on the chair together. You can’t honestly say you didn’t enjoy yourself.” Your throat had gone dry, words failing you as Rafe slowly dragged his hand up your arm. Goosebumps rose on your skin and you inhaled sharply as his fingers danced across your collarbone.

Gritting your teeth, you shook your head. “It meant nothing to me. I want nothing to do with you, Rafe.”

His hand stilled where it rested on your waist, only a thin tank top between you and his sinful touch. “Oh, really? Because as I recall, you were more than happy to suck my dick.”

The sudden dirty words made you gasp, stepping away from Rafe’s intoxicating aura. He followed close behind though, keeping your chests close and faces inches away.

“No I wasn’t,” you argued. “You’re delusional.”

Rafe scoffed. “I’m delusional? Because I have a crystal clear image of you reaching into my pants--”

“It’s done, Rafe. Get over yourself. What happened was a one time lapse in judgment, and I can assure you it won’t be happening again.” You felt your voice waver ever so slightly, cursing yourself silently as Rafe picked up on this and smirked wider.

“Admit it, Y/N. It’s all you’ve been thinking about.”

Exhaling softly, you felt his hands burn up your side as they drifted across your body. His tantalizing voice continued whispering in your ear. “It’s all I’ve been thinking about, too. Your fingers, your lips, your tongue.” A shiver raced its way down your spine, his mouth dangerously close to touching your skin. “I can’t stop thinking about how good you feel.”

Finally snapping back into your senses, you forcibly stepped back and put some much-needed distance between him. “Well, you’re just gonna have to keep thinking about it, because it’s never going to happen.”

With that, you turned on your heel and rushed into The Wreck, desperate to find your friends and make the blush in your cheeks fade away.

You joined the others as they finished packing up lunch, grateful to be away from Rafe’s scrutiny. You all climbed onto the HMS Pogue, JJ giving you a steady to hand to hold as you found your footing. Pope pulled out of the dock, beginning to head towards a secluded part of the marsh.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t very secluded today. You spotted Topper at the helm of a brand-spanking new boat, his glare visible even from a distance. He steered right towards you until you were side by side, bobbing a few meters apart in the calm waters.

“Do you need something?” John B. asked, feigning pleasantries.

“Nope, nothing at all. Just thought this was a good spot.” Topper motioned for Rafe to hand him a beer, and you bit your lip as you watched him toss a can. Rafe cracked one open himself, taking a long swig with his gaze clearly locked on you.

Turning deliberately away, you accepted the beer bottle JJ handed you and sighed.

“What’s his problem?” JJ wondered, clearly seeing the way Rafe stared at you across the water.

You sipped the beer, almost challenging Rafe to say something. “I have no idea,” you answered JJ absently.

From then on it was a clear competition between which boat was having more fun. The Pogues all laughed louder than usual, but this was only met with the other boat’s booming laughter as well. JJ dealt out a game of cards and you all gathered on the deck, eating lunch as you played. For a split-second you forgot about Rafe on the other boat, until the sound of his voice drifted into your ears and made your skin crawl.

Topper’s engine roared to life, and you all turned to watch him speed down the water. JJ cursed them out as they departed, clearly agitated by their arrogant display.

“They think they’re so cool because they have a newer boat,” he grumbled. “We ought to show them what this little puppy can do.” He slapped the side of the HMS Pogue, shooting Pope a pointed look.

“We can definitely keep up with them,” Pope responded. “This baby hasn’t failed us yet.”

You watched helplessly as the guys fired up the engine, determined to speed after Topper. You were just fine putting as much distance between you and Rafe as possible, but with the competitive natures kicked into overdrive you knew you would be seeing him again shortly.

The HMS Pogue sped down the waters, spraying you with droplets as you pulled off your shirt and shorts to avoid getting them wet. You lounged with Kiara and Sarah on the deck as the boys whooped and hollered, and soon you had caught up to the Kooks.

“Fancy seeing you here,” JJ called out. Topper’s glare was deadly, and Rafe just took another long sip of beer. You sat up on your elbows a little, hoping your bikini-clad body was visible enough to throw him off. Behind Rafe’s sunglasses, you had no idea what affect this had on him.

“You guys really don’t want to try and race me,” Topper warned. “This thing is the fastest model yet, and I’d hate to leave in you a mountain of dust.”

JJ gripped the wheel. “Bring it on, Kook.”

Both engines roared to life, the noise deafening as it boomed through the marsh. You clutched the side of the boat for dear life as JJ pushed the throttle all the way, sending the boat whizzing across the water. Topper was neck and neck with you though, concentrating hard as he steered dangerously close to you.

Every now and then the two boats would thunk against one another, jostling you where you sat. Kiara gripped the side rail, sending JJ a glare.

“I thought boat racing was a non-contact sport,” she commented sharply.

“Yeah, there’s no point in wrecking the boat just to win a race,” Pope advised, but JJ merely waved them off and continued his aggressive antics.

Standing up shakily, you attempted to move across the deck but were quickly thrown off balance by another collision with Topper. Stumbling backwards, you nearly fell off the side before Sarah lunged out to grab you.

“Jesus, JJ!” she hollered, pulling you back to your feet. The breath had been knocked out of you from your near-fall, and when you glanced over at Rafe you couldn’t decipher whether he had a look of concern or triumph on his face.

“I officially no longer care who wins this stupid race,” Kiara declared, attempting to wrestle the wheel away from the blonde boy. But JJ, stubborn as ever, resisted her and stayed firmly planted where he stood.

“I can feel her really revving up now,” he insisted, giving the wheel a loving pat. “A few more seconds and we’ll smoke them.”

You braced yourself for another crash, eyes connecting with Rafe’s across the water. He’d removed his sunglasses, and was leaning behind Topper’s shoulder and directing him as he drove the boat. You scowled his way, refusing to back down from his stone-hard stare.

Soon enough, just as JJ had said, the HMS Pogue began to edge out the Kooks. Topper frantically tried to speed up, shouting in irritation. Rafe and Kelce tried to tell him what to do, but it was to no avail. The HMS Pogue was now three feet ahead of them, then five feet, then ten feet, and eventually the country club boys were left in the dust.

With whoops and shouts of glee, the Pogues all burst into celebration. You, Sarah, and Kiara hugged excitedly, grins stretching across your lips. JJ pulled the boat to a gentle stop so Topper could catch up, and when he did Sarah flipped him off.

“You said that was a ‘fancy new boat’, right?” John B. mocked, arm slung protectively around Sarah’s waist. “It’s a shame you wasted your money on such a piece of crap.”

Topper looked about ready to blow a gasket, and Kelce was kicking the beer cooler angrily. Rafe was cool as ice, however, never once betraying his frustration. He had you locked in his gaze, and your lips parted as the intensity made chills roll down your spine.

You were sick and tired of how small and helpless he made you feel. Rafe didn’t deserve to have that much power over your emotions. In two long strides you made your way over to JJ, grinning up at the blonde boy who was basking in his victory.

“Nice sailing,” you complimented, before looping your arms around his neck and pulling his face down to yours. Your lips connected in a kiss, tongue swiping out to deepen it. Startled at first, JJ quickly recovered and smoothed his hands up your bare back, landing just where your bikini was tied. You leaned into him, hand pressed to his chest as he returned the kiss with equal fervor.

After a minute you tore yourself away, eyes alight with adrenaline as you smiled up at him. Turning your smirk to the other boat, you tilted your head at Rafe with a confident how’s that? expression.

His blue eyes were dark, brows low on his forehead. His frown made your heart clench, and when he finally looked away you felt yourself missing the heat of his stare.

But he didn’t look at you again; he didn’t even acknowledge your existence once you all returned to the docks. You made a point to walk beside him up the path, hoping he’d say something, anything.

Rafe was silent, eyes glued to the ground in front of him. You watched as he left with Topper and Kelce, not even throwing a glance back your way. His figure disappeared into the distance, until you weren’t sure if you’d ever see it again.

Guilt and disappointment raged inside of you, battling with your feelings of victory at making Rafe angry. You should've been thrilled you pushed all his buttons, because after all he’d been doing the same to you. But what should’ve felt amazing felt like a rock in your stomach, and you almost wished you’d fallen into Rafe’s trap instead of setting up one yourself.

~ ~ ~

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jjoutermaybanks · 4 years

Text

With You In My Head || Rafe Cameron x Reader

part one part two part three part four part five part six part seven part eight

word count: 5k

warnings: some casual smut for the TL, enjoy ;))

*not my gif, credit to owner*

PART THREE

You didn’t sleep at all that night. Hours were spent tossing and turning, staring at the ceiling above you and trying not to close your eyes. Whenever you did, Rafe’s face flashed into your mind. More specifically, the chilling expression of intensity that he’d worn while beating the absolute crap out of JJ. It haunted your thoughts, and you were sure that if you fell asleep you’d see it in your nightmares.

Rafe had scared you more than anyone ever had before. Violence had always made you sick, which was one of the reasons why you avoided the many skirmishes the Pogues found themselves in. Bruises and blood didn’t sit well with you, and the smell of JJ’s blood was burned into your nose. The cracks of Rafe’s fist against his body also echoed in your ears, and it was as if the fight had overwhelmed all of your senses and was slowly drowning you.

So when the morning light began filtering into your room, you were grateful. You could get up and make breakfast and do everything in your power not to think about what had happened.

Trudging into the small kitchen of the trailer, you peered over and saw your mother snoring away on the pull-out couch. Her body looked contorted on the thin mattress, twisted in such a way to try and sleep comfortably. She looked stiff and there was a frown on her lips, making you sigh. It pained you that your mother had to live in this stupid trailer, and you angrily recalled the giant house you’d visited your father in yesterday.

It was so unfair. Their divorce had stolen every last drop of energy and life from your mother, leaving her defeated and passive. Your father ended up more egotistical and self-centered than ever, at the expense of your poor mom. You wished more than anything the roles had been reversed, and it was him suffering in this dump rather than her.

But this was real life, and you’d learned a long time ago to accept things the way they were. This mindset made it hard for you to be optimistic, and you rarely ever hoped for anything. Frowning, you realized you’d had a sliver of hope on the beach yesterday with Rafe. You’d secretly hoped you could learn to trust him, and that the two of you could be friends. But that dream had been destroyed almost as quickly as it was created, which seemed to be a trend in your life.

You felt claustrophobic in the small trailer, and after rifling through the fridge decided to take a trip to the local market. You barely had any food, and you thought it’d be nice to get some fresh fruit and vegetables for your mother.

The market was buzzing with early morning activity, and you smiled at the familiar faces of the merchants. You drifted through the various stands, admiring the ripe selection at your fingertips. Lifting an orange to your nose, you inhaled the citrusy scent and sighed contentedly.

All of a sudden, a shadow fell over your shoulder after someone came up behind you. Flinching in surprise, you whirled around and dropped the orange. It rolled across the ground and landed at none other than Rafe Cameron’s feet. With a smirk, he knelt down to pick it up, extending it to you with gleaming eyes.

“Morning, Y/N,” he greeted, and you snatched the orange out of his hand. Fuming with embarrassment and irritation, you dropped the orange into your woven produce bag and glared over at him.

“What are you doing here, Rafe?” you demanded, crossing your arms. You hated how he had taken you by surprise, and you also hated the flush that rose to your cheeks when he looked at you.

Rafe looked taken aback at your harsh tone, but recovered with a charming laugh. “It’s a public farmer’s market, Y/N.” He had his own bag of produce hanging off his shoulder, sure enough.

Scowling, you retorted, “What do you want?” You didn’t feel like wasting time. The sooner you could get away from Rafe the better.

“What’s wrong? I thought you and I were becoming friends.” He actually sounded a little hurt, but you tried not to let this affect you. Rafe couldn’t be that stupid to think you wanted to be his friend after what he did to JJ.

He walked beside you as you continued strolling through the market, preferring to look at the fruit rather than his eyes. “I thought we were too,” you told him. “Until you almost killed my friend last night.”

Rafe stopped in his tracks, and reached out to grab your arm to stop you too. Immediately wrenching your arm out of his grip, you glared at him as he threw his hands up in surrender. “What are you talking about? The fight was fair, and don’t you remember that my side lost?”

You met Rafe’s eyes with a pointed look. “Topper and Kelce may have lost, but you didn’t. One more minute and JJ would’ve been in the hospital for a year.” As you said this, memories of the fight burned across your mind and made you shudder.

Rafe frowned, and you couldn’t tell if he looked regretful. You also remembered the way he looked at you before leaving, with slight guilt in his eyes, but you couldn’t detect any of that now.

“It’s not like JJ didn’t get any punches in,” he defended, pointing to his face. It was then that you noticed the cut on his forehead, and a purple bruise on one of his cheeks. You hadn’t seen these injuries before, and you took a second to take them in. So I was wrong, you thought, biting your lip. Maybe I was too harsh on him.

Shaking your head, you were determined to keep your resolve and not let Rafe break you. “Still,” you murmured. “You were brutal, Rafe.”

He pressed his lips into a thin line, eyes distant. “He would’ve done the same to me if he could have, trust me.”

Again, he was right. You knew JJ, and he’d left his enemies looking just as bad as he did after fighting Rafe. Realizing Rafe was steadily disproving all of your arguments for being mad at him, you huffed. How was he so good at that? He was nearly impossible to hate.

Sensing your apprehension, Rafe sighed. “Look, I’m not proud of what happened. I didn’t even want to fight anyway, but I couldn’t just abandon Topper.” When you still didn’t budge, he swallowed roughly, lowering his voice to just above a whisper. “I’ve never been able to back down from a fight. Ward, he...” Rafe struggled to find the right words. “He taught me that a fight is never over until you either win or die trying. There’s no such thing as losing to him.”

This sent chills down your spine, and also a wave of sadness for the younger Rafe who had to grow up that way. You couldn’t imagine the extreme difficulty of being Ward’s son, of not being allowed to be vulnerable or show weakness. Rafe must have had a lot more issues because of this, and he’d alluded to them on the beach.

Naturally, your sympathy for Rafe overtook your anger, and you let go of the frustration you’d harbored over him. Giving him a stern look, you said, “Fine. But next time, don’t kick a guy when he’s already down.” JJ had lost the fight long before Rafe actually stopped hitting him, and he could’ve spared the blonde boy a few bruises and pains.

Rafe smiled in relief, and you liked the way he looked when he wasn’t so serious. He was much more handsome this way. With an enthusiastic voice, he declared, “Let me make it up to you. Sarah and I are throwing a party tonight, and I want you to come.”

Raising your eyebrows disbelievingly, you asked, “You two are throwing a party?” You couldn’t imagine Sarah doing anything with her brother that wasn’t arguing.

Chuckling, Rafe rubbed the back of his neck shyly. “Alright, we’re not exactly throwing it. It just happens to be taking place at our house, since Ward is going out of town for a few days. Other than that, I have zero hosting duties.”

Pursing your lips, you tried to think of an excuse not to go. “I don’t know, Rafe. What would I even talk to people about? I’m not exactly a Kook.”

“Come on, Y/N. Your dad plays golf with my dad every Sunday. Your boat is docked three spots down from ours. You have more in common than you think.”

Rolling your eyes, you said, “It’s not my boat, it’s my father’s.”

Rafe was refusing to let this go, however. No excuse was good enough for him. “Please? I think you’ll have fun. Besides, Sarah will be there so you can complain about how much you hate it with her.” He looked so desperate for you to agree that you couldn’t help but smile. Something about Rafe broke down all of your walls and banished every inhibition you had. You couldn’t decide if you liked this trait of his or not.

“Fine, I’ll come.” He pumped his fist, and you laughed, continuing your shopping. Rafe accompanied you for the rest of your trip, even offering to walk you home. But you firmly rejected this offer, threatening not to go to the party if he tried to walk you home. You left him with a smile on your face and nervous energy in your heart.

Whenever you were dreading something, time tended to fly by. Today was no different, and the hours flew past until it was time to get ready to leave for the party. Even though things with Rafe had improved, you still did not feel like being around a bunch of Kooks for the night. But you’d promised him, and if this friendship thing was serious you had to honor that promise.

You went through your entire closet before you settled on an outfit. You settled on a pair of flowy shorts in a rusted pink color with a white crop top. Sarah had bought this outfit with you, and she’d told you it accentuated all of your best features. You threw it on over a stringy white bikini, and after over-analyzing your appearance in the mirror you gave up and just decided to leave.

From a block away you could hear the voices at the party. Music was blaring through the balmy night air, and as you approached the Cameron’s house you could see hundreds of people milling around the property. Your jaw dropping in disbelief, you felt a pang of anxiety at the sheer number of Kooks. They were all expensively dressed and wearing judgmental expressions to match. A group of girls whipped their heads over to gawk at you, and if looks could kill you’d be six feet under.

Walking through the yard, you wove through the crowd and avoided eye contact with the people around you. Your sole mission was to find Sarah, because only she could make this nightmare tolerable. But when you’d crossed the entire yard, even checking the inside of the house, there was no sign of her. The lights in her room were off, and she was nowhere to be seen.

You were officially stranded here alone.

A thousand emotions swirled through your mind. Humiliation, regret, slight irritation. You were humiliated to be at a party completely alone, regretted even coming at all, and also felt massively irritated that Sarah had bailed. But then your irritation shifted to Rafe, and a thought occurred to you. Was Sarah even planning to come at all? Or was that just a ploy by Rafe to convince you to come?

Seething with anger, you stormed back out, now changing your sights to try and find Rafe. Luckily he was easy to spot, his tall frame towering over the other party-goers. He caught your eye across the lawn, and broke into a wide smile. He said something to the group he was with and then started towards you.

“Hey! Look who showed up!” His happiness was infectious, but you were so pissed it had no effect on you. He picked up on your sour mood, smile faltering. “What’s wrong?”

“Sarah isn’t here,” you snapped. “I’m leaving.” All you wanted was your warm bed and to sleep off the embarrassment you felt right now.

Rafe sighed, pushing a hand through his gelled hair and messing it up slightly. “Don’t go, please. I’m sure Sarah will be here later, she’d never miss a party like this.” His eyes were fixed on yours, holding your gaze with an electricity you couldn’t ignore. “Besides, how am I supposed to make up for last night if you leave now?”

You narrowed your eyes. “Sarah is coming later?” you reiterated, making sure he wasn’t bluffing again.

Rafe nodded. “Like I said, she loves parties.”

Once again, you couldn’t find any good argument against him. He was annoyingly triumphant in most of these situations, and you rolled your eyes at him. Rafe took this as a victory, and placed a hand on your back before leading you through the crowd of people.

“Let’s get you a drink, yeah? Being drunk makes these things ten times better.” He stopped at a makeshift bar setup, and grabbed a solo cup before filling it with mysterious liquid. When he handed it to you, you saw an odd red colored mixture and sniffed it hesitantly. It smelled strongly of alcohol, but also had a fruity tang.

“What the hell is this?” you asked, unsure of what the concoction could be.

Rafe smiled proudly. “It’s my signature. Half vodka and half whatever fruity seltzer we have in the fridge. Tastes amazing, and also gets you drunk without the awful taste of regular vodka.”

Shrugging, you took a long sip, and Rafe whistled approvingly. “Damn, you’re really trying to get drunk, huh?”

You shook your head. “I’m the opposite of a lightweight. It takes a lot to actually get me hammered.”

“Oh, well then drink up.” Rafe poured himself a cup, and you toasted the solo cups with a laugh. Now that you weren’t wandering around alone, you were actually sort of enjoying yourself. But after a minute, you noticed people staring at you, and the group Rafe had abandoned to talk to you looked annoyed at his absence.

You bit your lip. “Um, Rafe,” you started, causing him to look over at you. His blue eyes shocked you as always, and you blushed. “You don’t have to stay and talk to me. I’m sure you’d rather be with your friends, I’m just a drag.”

He looked shocked that you’d even say that. “What are you talking about? I��m not hanging out with you out of obligation.” At your doubtful shrug, he sighed. “You know what? You’re gonna come meet my friends.” He grabbed your hand, leading you once again through the throng of people.

Panic striking you, you stuttered out, “Rafe, I don’t think that’s a good--” But it was too late; you’d reached his group of friends. You recognized Topper and Kelce, and forced a pinched smile. They both sported black eyes and multiple bruises, not to mention glares pointed directly at you.

“Guys, this is Y/N,” Rafe introduced, and a few of them nodded or muttered greetings. He went around and said half a dozen names you knew you wouldn’t remember, but you smiled at them anyway. Rafe was right next to you, and you found yourself almost leaning into him as a shield. The proximity was closer than you’d ever been, and you got a whiff of his expensive cologne.

The group started chattering about something you only sort of paid attention to. Instead, you focused mainly on observing Topper and Kelce. You figured it was a good idea to get to know Rafe’s best friends if you wanted to be friends with him. Over the course of the conversation, your view of both of them changed. You realized Topper was more pathetic than anything; he actually cared about Sarah, and missed her like crazy. This made him easier to understand in your head, and the dislike you held for him before was replaced by pity. Kelce didn’t change much for you, just confirmed that he was a meathead with little else going for him. He didn’t have any original thoughts, always trailing behind Rafe or Topper and doing whatever they wanted.

You attempted to listen to the conversation for a little while longer, until you were so bored you couldn’t stand it anymore. Leaning over to whisper into Rafe’s ear, you said, “I’m gonna go see if Sarah is here yet.” You smiled warmly at him, hoping he could see you actually appreciated his effort to incorporate you into the group.

Wandering around again wasn’t any more enjoyable this time. You still felt ostracized from the other Kooks, like you didn’t belong here with them. An hour must have passed of just aimlessly searching for Sarah, and by the time you gave up it was so late at night you realized Sarah probably wasn’t going to come at all.

Which meant Rafe had lied to you.

Once you made this realization, the anger you’d overcome earlier resurfaced. Why the hell would he lie about this? Did he just want to lure you here for his friends to mock and make fun of? What was the point of making you feel like an outsider, other than to hurt you? Friends didn’t pull stunts like this.

You stormed towards the pool, heading straight for Rafe who stood beside it talking to his friends. When he saw you approach he grinned, but this expression quickly changed when he read the anger in your eyes

“Y/N--”

“Why did you lie about Sarah coming?” you interrupted furiously. “Why would you drag me to this stupid party if you knew I would be alone and miserable? I mean, did you want me to feel like shit?”

Rafe looked completely stupefied. He opened his mouth, but no words came out he was so speechless. You glowered at him, cheeks heating up as you felt the stares of everyone else on your face.

“Well?” you insisted. Rafe looked more confused than ever, and you rolled your eyes. At this moment, Topper stepped out next to Rafe.

“Relax, Y/N, you don’t have to make a scene.” He reached out to touch your shoulder, and you flinched away from his touch. But this sudden movement caused you to lose balance, and you felt yourself tripping backwards.

Before you knew what was happening, your body hit the pool. Ice cold water cascaded over your head, and your arms floundered desperately under the surface. You reemerged a second later, but you were soaked to the bone and came up to the sounds of hysterical laughter. Rubbing the water out of your eyes, you saw Topper and the others snickering at your clumsiness, with Rafe staring down at you just as clueless as before.

He recovered quickly though, and extended a hand to help you out. You grabbed it angrily, and he hauled you out of the pool.

“Y/N, I am so sorry--”

You didn’t wait around to hear his apology, Instead, you stormed out of the crowd and headed away from the house, trying to ignore the mocking laughter behind you.

The beach seemed to be the place you always went to at times like this. The waves were calm again tonight, and despite the freezing pool water drenching your clothes the air was warm with summer heat. You stopped beside a long wooden beach chair with padded cushions, discarding your wet shorts and shirt. You folded the soggy fabric and left them by the chair along with your shoes, leaving you in just the bikini you’d put on before coming.

In order to work off your anger and dry off your body, you started on a walk down the shore. It was peaceful at this hour, and you eventually walked far enough from the party to be in total silence. Normally you’d let your thoughts run rampant right now, but tonight you didn’t want to think about anything. You especially didn’t want to think about Rafe. He’d genuinely hurt you, and for the second time in a matter of days. No matter how sincere he seemed in the aftermath, this humiliation was overpowering.

You must have walked for miles, because the stretch of beach became unfamiliar and prompted you to turn around. By the time you neared where you left your clothes, you were exhausted and drained from feeling upset. You were so tired in fact that you didn’t notice someone sitting in the beach chair until they spoke.

“I thought you left.” Rafe’s voice was soft and timid, worried you’d yell at him again. You just paused beside him, folding your arms across your exposed chest.

“Why would I leave when my clothes are still here?” you said pointedly, and Rafe nodded in defeat. He was quiet, clearly picking up on your mood. You almost appreciated this gesture, if he wasn’t the person who’d ruined your mood to begin with.

Glancing at his house in the distance, you saw the lights were off and the sound of voices had ceased. The party had finished by the time you returned from your walk, which meant it was just Rafe around.

He was laying across the big chair clad only in board shorts, his exposed torso gleaming in the moonlight. His gaze was directed towards the sky, face peaceful.

Wanting to fill the silence, you asked, “Why are you out here? Aren’t you tired from the party?”

Rafe shook his head. “Nah, I’ll be up for hours. I just came out here to look at the stars.”

You snorted. “How cute,” you commented, but when you realized he was serious you regretted your jab. Rafe shifted aside on the chair and patted a space by his knees for you to sit. Tentatively, you settled there and gazed up at the stars as well.

“I’ve always loved astronomy,” he admitted. “I think it’s so cool that there’s so much else out there. Kind of makes everything down here seem insignificant.”

You furrowed your brow. “That’s morbid.”

He shrugged. “I don’t know, it’s sort of comforting. Like, however shitty things are here, that’s not how it is everywhere.” This made you turn your gaze to him, frowning. You wondered if he was referring to Ward, and you sensed you were right when he couldn’t meet your eyes.

A minute passed, and then Rafe said, “I really am sorry.” His words were genuine, and tried to let them sink in. It didn’t make up entirely for tonight, but it helped.

Sliding your eyes along his face, you saw something flit across his eyes. The air suddenly filled with tension, and you found it hard to breathe with his gaze so fixated on you. Your body almost felt a magnetic pull towards his, and when he rested his arms on the edge of the chair you hitched your breath.

Without even thinking, you swung your legs over and shifted your body until you were settled between his legs. Your head leaned back against his chest, his chin resting just by your ear. Having his warm skin under yours felt beyond good, and his arms encircled you to rest by your waist.

You laid together like this for a while, neither of you saying anything. Your hands drifted up his arms, absently feeling him as he breathed against the back of your neck. Occasionally he’d lift his hand to point out a star pattern, and when you tilted your head to see it you rested against his shoulder.

While you looked at the sky, Rafe looked at you. Turning your head to the side, you realized how close your faces were and parted your lips. Even in the dark his blue eyes were striking. You held your breath, anticipating his next move.

And when it came, you rejoiced inside. Rafe leaned forward to connect your lips, his mouth warm and gentle. You accepted the kiss gratefully, molding against him and twisting slightly so you could bring a hand to his cheek. His tongue swiped out across your bottom lip, and you opened your mouth to grant him entrance. Your tongues pushed against one another, deepening the kiss and making your head grow fuzzy.

Tearing his lips from yours, Rafe moved down your jaw and to your neck. You faced forward again, watching as his hands slid up your abdomen. His fingers found the ties to your bathing suit top, and in one swift movement he undid them. The white bikini fell out of place, your breasts exposed to the warm night air.

Breathing hard, you felt Rafe’s hands skim across your breasts, making your nipples harden into peaks. His fingers were rough against your skin, and when his thumbs grazed your nipples you exhaled softly. His lips worked the side of your neck, sponging kisses there while his hands were at your chest.

Waves of pleasure drifted through your body, and your lips hung open in a wordless gasp. Rafe pinched your nipples lightly, causing you to arch your back against him. As you did this, you felt something hard pressing into your back, and realized it was his firm length through his shorts. You continued to grind your hips slowly against his, and his breathing increased by your ear.

“Y/N,” he breathed, making your eyes roll back. He gave your breasts a firm squeeze, and you raised one hand to touch his cheek. You were breathing erratically now, and this only increased when he removed his hands from your chest and moved them downwards, towards the pool of moisture already collecting in your bathing suit bottoms.

His fingers dipped below the band, his fingers shockingly cool against your hot skin. You tensed up when you felt him right where you needed him, and when his lips kissed your ear you exhaled.

And then his middle finger pressed into your clit, causing a moan to tumble from your mouth. He’d barely touched you and you were already putty in his hands. Rafe started circling his finger, and you couldn’t control the sounds leaving your throat.

“Yes,” you released, crying out when he dragged across your slick entrance. “Rafe.” you moaned his name, and a gentle growl rumbled in his throat behind you.

Rafe’s fingers worked expertly against you. He focused entirely on your clit, knowing exactly what to do to drive your senses wild. The bundle of nerves was going haywire under his hand, and your hips ground into his palm to try and increase friction.

“That’s it,” he murmured into your ear, causing goosebumps to raise across your skin. “Do I make you feel good, baby?” The nickname made you moan again, you brought a hand to roughly squeeze your breast.

Rafe quickened his movements, and your legs were shaking from the sheer pleasure. When he pinched your clit, you knew you were done for. An orgasm exploded in your abdomen, and you cried out in ecstasy, tensing against his hand and whining his name.

“Rafe,” you panted, resting your cheek against his chest. His lips pressed into the top of your head, and you watched him bring his hand out of your bikini bottoms to his lips. He licked off your moisture, and the sight drove you absolutely crazy.

Slowly flipping over so your chest was against his, you dove in to give him another kiss. Rafe eagerly reciprocated, spreading his fingers across your back and pulling you close. But you broke away from the kiss after a second, holding his gaze as you moved down his body. His mouth hung open while he watched, and when you reached his waist he swallowed.

Slowly, you brought your hand up over his clothed cock. Rafe jerked at the subtle movement, and you smiled. You palmed his mound again, licking your lips in preparation. You wanted to make him feel as good as he just made you feel.

When you were about to pull down his shorts, a voice broke through the silence.

“Rafe? Are you out there?”

It was Sarah. Panic flared in your chest, and you pressed yourself as far into Rafe as you could to stay out of view. He was panting by now, distracted by your body on his and the erection in his pants.

“I’m coming in a second,” he called out. The distant sound of departing footsteps told you she was gone, and you then scrambled down off the chair and into the sand. It sounded like Sarah had left, but you didn’t want to take any chances.

Rafe sat up quickly, blowing out a sigh and running a hand through his tousled hair. He looked worked up, and still very much hard. But you ignored him as you pulled your shorts on, retying your bikini top and putting on your shirt.

“Y/N,” he began, but once you slid into your shoes you wasted no time in running off of the beach, not even bothering to say goodbye.

~ ~ ~

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@prejudic3 @afterglowsb-tch13 @beeeee06 @dysaneworld @we-are-all-lovely @poguequeen @freebiscuitdragonbear @solko @luckypurpleunicorn

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jjoutermaybanks · 4 years

Text

With You In My Head || Rafe Cameron x Reader

part one part two part three part four part five part six part seven part eight

word count: 3k

warnings: violence

*not my gif, credit to owner*

PART TWO

You had no idea where you were going. You only vaguely knew the area, and even if you did have a sense of location you still would have struggled to think straight over the sound of your slamming heartbeat. Your feet carried you to the one place you knew you needed to go: far away. Soon you were jogging, trying to put as much distance between you and the horror scene you’d left behind. Ward’s cold little chuckle echoed in your ears as you ran, streaking through the warm air. Eventually you landed at the beach, and already the sound of crashing waves began to calm you.

Inhaling deeply, you took a minute to catch your breath. You were pissed at yourself for even thinking for a second that your visit with your father could be normal. Just being in the same room as him made your skin crawl, not to mention his creepy house guest Ward. It was a doomed situation from the start, but you’d foolishly believed that maybe it would be different this time.

The sun was just beginning to set over the horizon, and the world was blanketed in a pale orange glow. No one else was around, a fact you were grateful for. You needed time to recover from whatever the hell that was.

Unfortunately, you weren’t alone for long. As you kicked off your shoes and walked along the sand, a figure appeared over the small hill beyond the dunes. You paused, watching as whoever it was approached. Groaning inwardly, you braced yourself and slapped on a smile, determined to be polite no matter how exhausting it would be.

But then you could actually make out who it was, and your phony small fell immediately. You recognized those board shorts and that pastel pink shirt. It was Rafe Cameron, in all of his country club glory.

His smirk was wide when he finally reached you, hands casually in his pocket as his eyes scanned you up and down. Brows raised, he asked, “Have you seen a ghost, or something?”

“No,” you rebutted. “Just my father.” Biting your lip, you winced. Why would you tell him? you screamed at yourself, wanting nothing more than to dive into the water and disappear. You did not need to be sharing your personal life problems with Rafe Cameron.

He looked a little surprised at your admittance himself. “Really? What was that like?”

Frowning, you looked away from his piercing blue eyes. His gaze made your skin crawl. “What do you care?” Normally you wouldn’t be so hostile for no reason, but a mix of Sarah’s influence and your current nerves had your patience worn thin. Besides, you were sure Rafe could use a little rudeness to teach him some humility.

Rafe chuckled, shrugging in response. “I don’t know, you just look a little upset.” He didn’t sound particularly mocking, which was mildly surprising.

Sighing, you turned to walk towards the shore. “He tends to have that effect,” you grumbled, not expecting Rafe to be able to hear. But he’d actually followed you as you walked, shocking you yet again. You paused a few meters from where the tide hit, and settled down into the sand. It was warm from the sun’s heat, and felt like a soft blanket underneath your skin. Out of the corner of your eye, Rafe sat down beside you, linking his hands around his knees and gazing out at the calm waters.

It was incredibly strange to be so close to someone you thought you disliked. Sarah had told you so many stories about her brother that you thought you knew him pretty well, but whoever this was didn’t exactly fit into that version.

The silence wasn’t helping your anxiety, so you asked, “What are you doing out here anyway?” You knew the Cameron’s lived fairly close to your father, but you’d figured Rafe would be with his friends or at some party instead of wandering the beach alone.

“Thought I’d get a stroll in before I headed over to Kelce’s,” he told you. “I need to clear my head sometimes too.” Normally you would’ve rolled your eyes at the thought of Rafe having actual problems, but then you remembered who his father was. Ward wasn’t much better than your own father, and you had a feeling Sarah didn’t let on to how hard it was living with him.

You nodded, squinting at the sun rays bouncing off the water. “I can’t seem to clear my head at all these days,” you confessed, deciding to just let go of your inhibitions and speak freely. It was just Rafe; what’s the worst that could happen from talking to him?

“So you and your dad aren’t good?” he guessed, giving you a sympathetic smile. You felt your guard fly up instinctively at this question, wary of divulging secrets to a guy you barely knew.

Rafe caught on to your hesitation, and rolled his eyes. “Come on, Y/N. It’s not a big deal, I was just asking.”

A frown still pulled at your lips, and you replied, “Why would I talk about this with you? We don’t know each other.” You also didn’t know he’d go blabbing to, surely spreading your secrets across the whole island.

“That’s exactly why you should tell me,” he countered with a smirk. “It’s so much easier talking to someone you don’t know, because then there’s no bias or baggage. Consider me your therapist.” He shifted position to face you better.

Brows knitting in disbelief, you couldn’t help but laugh. “A therapist? You’re Sarah’s brother, Rafe, not a complete stranger. I’m sure there’s a little bias here.” Even so, it was a tempting offer. Opening up to an idealist like Sarah was hard, and Rafe was sort of a stranger.

“I swear, absolutely no bias here.” He put his hands up for effect. “I’m also extremely bored, and focusing on someone else’s problems for a while might clear my head.” His smile was hard to say no to, especially in such a serene atmosphere as the beach at sunset. It was too perfect a moment to pass up, so you sighed and gave in.

“Fine, what do you want to know?”

Rafe rubbed his hands together, pretending to contemplate this. “Well, I think we were talking about your dad.” It stunned you a little how forward he was, wasting no time before diving into the tough subjects.

You picked at a small pebble in the sand, an image of your father’s face flashing in your mind. “He isn’t even really my dad at this point. To me, he’s just the guy that ruined my mom’s life and left us in the dust.” This was the first time you said the words aloud, and hearing them actually felt sort of freeing.

His smile fading, Rafe looked out at the distant shore. “Sarah mentioned your parents are divorced.” You raised your eyebrows at him, puzzled. When did he talk to Sarah about you? Rafe sensed your confusion and added, “You’re her best friend; you’re bound to come up in conversation at least once.”

You wondered what Sarah had said exactly, and how much she’d revealed. Truthfully, even Sarah didn’t know the full story since you liked to keep it to yourself. “Sometimes I feel like I’m living two lives, like I’m two separate people. There’s the me that lives with my mom, hangs out with Sarah, enjoys the summer. Then there’s the me that my dad expects to see, a perfect loving daughter to fill up his giant mansion and boost his ego.” Your voice got steadily more bitter as you spoke, and you dug your hands into the sand.

“I feel like that with Ward sometimes,” Rafe admitted. “As long as I don’t screw up his country club membership he tolerates me.” His confession was unexpected, since you thought you were the only one who’d let your guard down.

Biting your lip, you said softly, “You call your dad ‘Ward?’” It was so detached and impersonal, not at all a loving father-son dynamic. Rafe just chuckled darkly at your comment, confirming your suspicions that their relationship was more than a little rocky.

“Either that or ‘sir’. The Cameron’s aren’t a warm and fuzzy bunch, I’ll tell you that.” He tried to say it jokingly, but there was an underlying sadness to his words. You knew Sarah loved her father, despite his many oddities. But you also sensed she was a little brainwashed by him, and John B. had spent most of their relationship trying to help her gain some independence. Clearly Rafe was not under Ward’s spell, as he spoke about his father in a cold, unfeeling tone.

He glanced over at you, eyes thoughtful. “How does your mom feel about all of it?”

The mention of your mother twisted your heart painfully. You realized how disappointed she’d be when you told her how horribly tonight had gone. “She’s...really good at faking it,” you finally stated, thinking of her forced smiles and half-hearted enthusiasm. “But you should see the dump she lives in. I mean, I don’t know how she isn’t furious at my father for what he did.” Referring to your home as a “dump” was a little much, but it wasn’t exactly false. Your mother deserved a house, not a trailer.

Rafe considered this. “And you live with her? Over in The Cut?” You nodded shyly; this meant admitting you lived in a dump, too, and Rafe didn’t usually interact with anyone other than stuffy Kooks. But he didn’t appear to be judging you, instead just soaked in the information you gave him with a slight frown.

During this brief pause you took the opportunity to study Rafe. His posture was relaxed, his usually gelled hair slightly messy and blowing in the gentle breeze. His blue eyes reflected the paling evening light, and you noticed the way his lashes fluttered when he blinked.

Your scrutiny didn’t go unnoticed, and when he turned to look back you quickly diverted your gaze. Rafe’s smile was lopsided, and for a second it actually felt like you were just talking to a friend.

A friend. Could Rafe ever be your friend? He was much better than you’d previously thought, but there was still a lot you didn’t know about him. And despite his easy-going demeanor, you didn’t trust him fully. Talking to him helped lift some weight off your shoulders, but you hadn’t let him in all the way yet. Maybe if you talked like this more you’d steadily begin to trust him.

While you were busy in your head, you hadn’t realized Rafe was also studying your face. Blushing, you pushed a lock of hair behind your ear and cleared your throat. “Shouldn’t you be going to Kelce’s soon? Don’t want to keep him waiting.”

Rafe waved you off. “Nah, he can wait, especially if you have more to talk about. I don’t know about you but I’m having loads of fun discussing our issues.” You laughed, actually a little guilty that you’d suggested he leave. Even so, you knew this had to end soon, so you got your feet and brushed the sand off your legs.

“I’m all out of issues for the night, but if any more come up I’ll let you know,” you informed him, and his eyes glinted with amusement.

“Yeah, I’d love to do this again.” His voice was earnest now, despite being humorous just a second ago. You smiled at him, unsure how to respond. Rafe was becoming more confusing than ever, and you knew you’d need a while to mull this all over.

You both walked back up to the main path, and before leaving you said, “I’ll see you later.”

Rafe nodded, hands in his pockets as he walked backwards in order to continue facing you. “I hope you do.” With that, he finally turned and you were cut off from his mesmerizing blue eyes.

Needless to say, the walk home was spent scrutinizing your conversation with Rafe. It had been incredibly freeing as well as confusing, a mixture of pleasant surprise and nervous apprehension. It almost felt like a dream, especially with the soft orange tint all of your memories had. When you thought of Rafe, you could only see him as he just was, bathed in sunset light and surrounded by the peaceful ocean. You liked imagining him this way, and the image didn’t leave your head for most of the walk home.

Only when you passed by JJ’s did the picture in your mind dissolve. By now it was nearly dark, but you could still make out the blonde frantically rushing out of his house. He looked determined to get wherever he was going as fast as possible, and when he neared you caught the intensity on his face.

“JJ?” you said tentatively. He looked shocked to see you, brows pulling low over his eyes.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?”

“Walking home--”

“Have you heard from Sarah?” he interrupted, making you frown. You hadn’t heard from Sarah since earlier in the day. Shaking your head, JJ sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “It’s John B. Apparently Topper felt the need to assert his dominance, and he brought his cronies over to the Chateau to harass him and Sarah.”

At the mention of Topper’s “cronies”, you quickly said, “Can I come?” Topper was one of Rafe’s best friends, so you guessed it was Kelce and Rafe who were helping him fight John B. This frustrated you, and reminded you of the Rafe that Sarah talked about. Topper was pathetic, and anyone who helped him was delusional. Rafe didn’t seem that delusional on the beach, you reasoned, but angrily pushed the thought away. You had no reason to defend Rafe, not after one measly conversation.

JJ looked surprised at your request. “I mean, yeah. Might get ugly, though.” He grinned at this, and you shuddered. JJ liked himself a good brawl, and you knew a simple argument could escalate into physical blows within seconds.

Getting to the Chateau took only a few minutes, but by the time you arrived you could already hear shouting. A few voices were arguing, and one you recognized as Kiara.

“Seriously guys, this is so juvenile,” she complained as you and JJ burst into the yard. Kiara was standing with her arms folded beside a furious Sarah. Pope was shoulder to shoulder with John B., squaring up in front of Topper. Rafe and Kelce flanked him from behind, so far outnumbering the Pogues three to two. But then JJ joined the guys and the fight was even.

When you entered the yard, Rafe tore his eyes away from the Pogues and stared at you incredulously. He looked startled to see you here, and his jaw clenched tightly before turning his glare back onto John B.

“Go home, Topper,” Sarah cried out, sounding exasperated. You joined her and Kiara, staying far enough out of the boys’ way to avoid any punches that might be thrown.

“This isn’t about you, Sarah,” Topper snapped. “Not everything is about you.” Sarah scoffed at this, and you saw a flicker of amusement cross Rafe’s face. You scowled at this; shouldn’t Rafe defend his sister over her ex-boyfriend? Why wasn’t he on her side?

Sarah snorted, placing her hands on her hips. “You are such a child. Get over it already.” John B. glanced back at his girlfriend, trying to hide his smile. You could sense the love between them just from a glance.

Topper pouted, and actually did sort of look like a little kid. He was fuming like a toddler throwing a tantrum. “Sarah, will you shut the fuck up for a second?”

John B. immediately reacted to this, going chest to chest with Topper. “Hey, don’t talk to her like that.” Topper glared down at him, shoving him back roughly. John B. stumbled slightly, and JJ took a threatening step forward.

“Oh hell no, you do not get to shove us, prissy boy,” he hissed, sizing up Rafe as John B. approached Topper. Even Pope and Kelce were on the verge of fighting now, and the tension in the late night air was palpable.

Topper’s smirk was oily as he said, “You know John B., you gotta learn how to keep that mouth of her’s shut. And I know the perfect way to shut up a slut like Sarah.”

That was it. In an explosion of grunts and swear words, the two groups descended on one another in a flurry of fists. John B. and Topper pummeled into one another, ripping at shirts and tearing at faces. Pope swung at Kelce, landing on his jaw but suffering a hit to his chest. Topper attempted to headlock John B., but the latter twisted out of his grip and hooked his right fist into Topper’s cheek. Bones cracked and split through the quiet night air, making you jump back.

Kiara looked like she was holding herself back from joining, desperately watching Pope and Kelce duke it out. Sarah held her breath, but John B. appeared to be winning against Topper. Pope landed hit after hit on Kelce, using his speed to his advantage and leaving the other boy confused and angry.

But JJ wasn’t as successful. Rafe was almost animalistic in the way he attacked the blonde boy, landing punches with such force you almost felt them yourself. JJ was no weakling, and you’d seen him beat guys twice his size in fights before. But now he was struggling, blood bubbling up in his mouth as Rafe pummeled his stomach.

“Oh my god,” you breathed, barely believing your eyes. Blood was flying out, staining Rafe’s shirt and dripping down JJ’s chin. One of his eyes had turned black, and he looked unsteady on his feet.

Rafe’s fists were relentless, and for a minute you thought he was going to kill JJ. The Pogue was a rag-doll in Rafe’s hands, suffering blow after blow. You remembered how kind he had been on the beach, how understanding he was. You pictured his easy smile, his bright blue eyes. Those blue eyes you’d admired earlier were now black with a deadly intensity, and fear like you’d never experienced struck your heart.

And then Topper was on the ground, scrambling to get away from John B. Kelce had shied away from Pope, helping Topper up and breathing hard. Realizing his friends had lost, Rafe stopped his fist in midair, looking behind him with wild eyes.

John B. spit on the ground in front of him, lifting his chin in victory. “Get out of here, before I actually get mad.” His eyes were steely as Topper stumbled back, using Rafe and Kelce to support him. Rafe was the only one of the three not out of breath or visibly injured, his face oddly blank for what had just happened.

And then his eyes connected with yours, only for an instant. He must have seen the pure terror on your face, because his expression slackened and something like guilt flashed in his eyes. Lips parting, you almost wanted to beg him to explain himself, to tell you what the hell had happened between your talk at the beach and the fight just now. It frightened you that someone could change on a dime like that, especially someone you were trying to trust.

Whatever guilt he felt wasn’t strong enough to make him stop. Instead, Rafe just looked away from you and focused on Topper, and soon enough the three boys had disappeared from view.

But even though he was no longer in front of you, you knew you’d never forget the way he looked tonight: terrifying.

~ ~ ~

taglist

@prejudic3 @afterglowsb-tch13 @beeeee06

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jjoutermaybanks · 4 years

Text

taglist for “With You In My Head” (Rafe x Reader)

howdy y’all, i’m gonna start a taglist for my latest rafe fic, so like this post if you want to be included or just comment on part one :))

#jj mayback x reader #jj maybank #jj obx #jj one shot #jj outer banks #jj smut #john b #john b obx #john b outer banks #kiara obx #kiara outer banks #outer banks smut #outer banks fanfiction #obx fanfiction #sarah obx #sarah outer banks #rafe cameron #rafe outer banks #rafe obx

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jjoutermaybanks · 4 years

Text

MASTERLIST

-𝕆𝕦𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝔹𝕒𝕟𝕜𝕤-

𝒥𝒥 𝑀𝒶𝓎𝒷𝒶𝓃𝓀

Electric Love

𝑅𝒶𝒻𝑒 𝒞𝒶𝓂𝑒𝓇𝑜𝓃

With You In My Head

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jjoutermaybanks · 4 years

Text

With You In My Head || Rafe Cameron x Reader

part one part two part three part four part five part six part seven part eight

an: I know Rafe isn’t the best character in OBX, and this fic will definitely feature a different version of him. I just loved Drew’s performance so much and thought that Rafe had interesting potential, so this is my portrayal of him in a different (less psychotic) way.

word count: 3k

warnings: none yet

(but can we talk about this gif I mean dear lord this should have its own warning)

*not my gif, credit to owner*

PART ONE

It had to be one of the hottest days of the year. The sun had been glaring down on your back for hours now, and if it wasn’t for the laborious application of sunscreen you were sure you would’ve been burnt to a crisp. Not even the sunglasses over your eyes could shield the bright sun streaming onto the beach, and the blue ocean water glittered like diamonds under the rays. The warm, wet sand you strolled across was a welcome relief from the blistering pathway to get onto the beach, and as the waves lapped at your ankles you let out a contented sigh.

You and Sarah Cameron, your best friend, had been at the beach all day. Alternating between tanning, swimming, and walking, it had been the most relaxing day you could remember. Conversation with Sarah was easy, and observing the other beach-goers was just as entertaining. You could almost feel the stress leave your shoulders and seep into the sand at your feet, washing away with the water. It was about time; you deserved a little rest and relaxation after such a stressful move.

“So you’re sure you don’t want to live with your dad?” Sarah asked. “He lives so much closer to me, you know.” You smiled at her attempt to sway you, but nothing she could’ve said would change your mind. Recently, the messy divorce of your parents had left a sour taste in your mouth when it came to your dad. He’d been particularly brutal to your poor mother, so the idea of joining him in his fancy Figure 8 mansion was not something you felt like doing.

Shrugging, you answered, “I want to keep my mom company, you know? And I don’t mind the trailer--it’s cozy.” While your dad owned a huge house with a waterfront view, your mother lived in a cramped trailer in The Cut. You knew it meant a lot to her that you tried to make the place home.

Sarah frowned. “Cozy, right. Because walking two feet from the bathroom to the kitchen is “cozy.” You sighed; Sarah would never understand. Even though she was one of the nicest, most sincere people you’d ever met, she was a Kook after all. She had never known anything other than her giant house, so naturally she looked down upon your trailer. It didn’t really matter to you, though. Sarah helped you in so many other ways, you let this one area slide.

As you walked, you noticed some dark-haired guy watching you both. He got to his feet and jogged over, eyes glued on Sarah beside you. Raising your brows, you held your breath in anticipation for what this would turn into.

“Hey,” the guy said, trying too hard to be smooth.

Sarah’s smile was fake as she said, “Hey!” You couldn’t help but chuckle; this happened a fair amount when you were with her. Something about Sarah was mysteriously alluring, and it was like a magnet to desperate guys everywhere. You were never jealous, because half the time the guys were pretty gross. This one was borderline cringey, and you saw how hard he was trying to flex his entire body.

“Tired of walking? We’ve got cold beer and a volleyball net.” The guy put his hands on his hips, probably to accentuate his “abs”, but in reality he just looked stupid.

Snickering, you watched Sarah’s smile pinch tighter. “Gee, what a tempting offer,” she told him, tapping her chin in mock contemplation. “Gonna have to pass, sorry.” Hooking an arm around my shoulder, we scurried away from the guy and giggled into our palms, glancing back a few times to see his mortified expression.

“God, what is it about you that turns men into meatheads?” you wondered aloud. Sarah nudged you, rolling her eyes.

“It’s nothing, just guys being horndogs.”

“They’re never like that with me,” you pointed out, and she sighed.

“Come on, Y/N, you’re gorgeous. You get your own fair share of horndogs, trust me. Besides, being approached like that gets really old really quick.” You shrugged, deciding to agree with her. You certainly didn’t consider yourself unattractive, but you’d never been the girl everyone paid attention to.

You and Sarah walked about a half mile more, approaching your bags and towels up on the sand. Three guys stood by your things, shoulders squared and smirks wide as they seemed to judge everything that moved. The boy on the left was looking at Sarah like she’d skinned his puppy, so you guessed that one was Topper. Sarah had told you how ugly their relationship had ended, and that Topper had yet to move on. Clearly he was just as angry today.

Sarah groaned, storming over to her bag and snatching it out of the tallest boy’s hands. “Rafe,” she snapped, and you recognized her brother’s name. Rafe Cameron was rarely home when you were over at Sarah’s house, and when he was he was shut away in his room. Seeing him up close, you noticed his sun-bleached brown hair and easy posture, the way his tan skin stretched over lean muscles. His smirk was what put you off, though; it was twisted and arrogant, even more so than the two guys next to him. He also had a cigarette balanced in his hand, the smoke curling around you as you wrinkled your nose. Who smoked these days?

“Sarah,” he answered formally, giving a little bow. “Who’s your friend?” His blue eyes slid over your body, taking in your bathing suit and tanned skin. You felt self-conscious under his gaze and cleared your throat, pushing your hair over your shoulder. Rafe took a drag of the cigarette while he watched you squirm.

“I’m Y/N,” you said just as Sarah said, “What’s it to you, Rafe?” Blushing, you bit your lip while Sarah raised a hand to tell you she had this. “You’re not going to antagonize another one of my friends, got it? Y/N doesn’t need to deal with your bullshit.”

Rafe pretended to be offended, putting a hand against his chest. “Excuse me? Antagonize? To whom are you referring, sister?” The two guys beside him snickered, and you felt a frown come to your lips.

Sarah’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “Don’t make me remind you, idiot. You played around with Angela for the entire summer last year. By the time she left I knew she’d need years of therapy just to get over you.”

Topper clapped Rafe on the back, and he handed him the small butt of the cigarette to discard. “Alright, fine,” he conceded, eyes drifting over to me. “I won’t antagonize Y/N.” When he said your name, shivers ran down your spine, only you couldn’t decide if they were good or bad.

Sarah put a protective arm around you, her glare menacing. “Get out of here, will you? We just want to enjoy the beach in peace.”

Rafe shrugged, signaling for his friends to follow. Topper sent a final nasty look Sarah’s way, but she only snorted. Topper’s moodiness no longer affected her, and she was in a much happier relationship with a guy from The Cut named John B. You liked John B.; not only did he make Sarah happier than you’d ever seen her, he was also a decent guy. He tried to make you feel included when you third-wheeled with the two of them, and you appreciated his kindness.

After about an hour more of laying around in the sun, you and Sarah called it quits. She offered to give you a ride home, but you declined. Walking cleared your head, and besides you knew it would make your mom feel bad to see a fancy Kook car pulling up to her less-than-fancy trailer.

Wandering through town, you sighed contentedly again. Even with all of your family drama, you couldn’t help but love the Outer Banks. Everyone was so easy-going and carefree, and you knew this was the energy you needed.

Making your way through The Cut, you felt at home among the thick trees and various trailers. It wasn’t nearly as nice as where Sarah and your dad lived, but you loved this area too. It was a close-knit community that had welcomed you and your mom with open arms, and for that you were grateful.

You passed by a familiar house, and looked over to see a familiar figure waving from the porch. “Y/N!” he called out, and you broke into a grin. JJ Maybank was one of the first people you’d met here, and he quickly became your favorite neighbor. Funny, charismatic, and incredibly loyal, JJ never failed to boost your spirits.

“What’s up, Maybank?” you greeted when he joined you.

“You look sun-kissed and happy. Beach day I assume?” Judging by his boots and sweaty shirt, you guessed JJ had been working on something. Maybe the mechanics of his boat or cutting the lawn. JJ was always up to some sort of antics, and you knew it was better not to ask too many questions.

“Oh yeah, spent the whole day fending off Sarah’s many many suitors,” you joked. JJ was no stranger to the effect that she had on guys, and it made his best friend John B. more than a little paranoid.

“Nah, Sarah’d never go for those schmucks,” JJ insisted. “The way she hangs over John B., I know he’s the only man for her.” He batted his eyelashes and swooned, making you laugh.

“You’re definitely right about that. Hey listen, I’ve gotta run but I’ll see you later.” JJ saluted and headed back towards his house, and you continued the walk home.

Reaching the trailer, you pushed through the front door and closed it quietly, dropping your bag. Your mother sat on the couch in the living room, which also doubled as her bedroom since it was a pull-out bed. She was attempting to flip through the channels of an ancient TV, but judging by the static on the screen it was unsuccessful.

“Hey, mom,” you greeted with a soft smile, plopping down beside her on the sofa. She sighed and switched off the TV, giving up on trying to watch something.

“How was your day?” she asked distractedly, and your heart sank. She definitely has something on her mind.

“Great,” you said a little too enthusiastically, trying to get rid of the deep frown on her face. “Sarah and I must have walked the entire coastline.”

Your mom just nodded, not really listening. “Look, sweetie, your dad called.”

Immediately you tensed. Your dad never called unless something was wrong or he wanted something. “Yeah?” you said slowly, dreading her explanation.

“I think you should go see him.” Your mother’s smile was bleak and unconvincing. “He just...he asked how you were doing and mentioned that he rarely sees you anymore.”

“I see him,” you defended, scowling. “Just...not frequently.” Things with your dad were incredibly awkward, and you were still bitter about how he handled the divorce.

Sighing, your mother continued, “He’s your father, Y/N. I think it’d do you both good to spend more time together.” You knew she felt guilty more than anything. It was like you’d picked her side in the divorce, which from the outside looked like the case. You didn’t understand how she could feel bad for a man that treated her so badly.

“Mom, I really don’t think--”

“For me,” she interrupted, and you sighed. You couldn’t argue with her now; you loved your mother too much to disobey her. Groaning at the thought of joining your dad for an entire evening, you trudged into the small bedroom and collapsed onto the bed.

You made sure to take your time getting ready, taking a long shower and sitting in front of your closet for almost an hour. Finally when you couldn’t stall any longer, you checked yourself in the mirror before saying goodbye to your mom, willing time to go as fast as possible tonight.

The house your dad lived in was just as astonishing as ever. You would never get used to the sheer size of it, the number of windows and extra rooms. Swallowing roughly, you paced the driveway for a minute, trying to settle your racing heart rate.

Get it together, Y/N, you scolded yourself, scowling at the pavement. He’s just your dad. Truthfully, however, he hadn’t felt like your dad in a long time. To you he was just a stranger who’d obliterated your life and collected the winnings, flaunting his success in the form of this god-awful mansion.

Inhaling deeply, you forced yourself to ring the door. The chimes echoed in your head as you held your breath, almost praying the door didn’t open.

But it did, revealing your father. Clad in an over-priced button down and with carefully sculpted facial hair, you barely recognized him. He had morphed himself into just another Figure 8 phony, and when he went to kiss your cheek his new beard scratched her skin and made you wince.

“How are you, baby?” he asked as you stepped inside, breathing in the cold air of his house. It was like a museum with carefully curated furniture and knickknacks. Your smile was more of a grimace, and you hoped he didn’t notice.

“I’m good,” came your stiff answer. It was too cold in the house, and goosebumps raised on your skin. Your father led you into the kitchen where you saw Sarah’s dad leaning against the counter, wine glass in hand.

“Y/N!” he exclaimed, spreading his arms for a hug. You gave an uncomfortable greeting after embracing him, already regretting your agreement to come here. Sarah’s dad, Ward, had always scared you. He was a very intense man that you were terrified to cross, and knowing he was friends with your dad only made you dislike your father more. But the Cameron’s lived very close to here, so you had a feeling Ward would be over a lot.

“Now I know you and Sarah were together all day, but do you have any idea where that girl is now?” His tone was upbeat and his eyes were empty. You resisted the urge to clench your fists, and instead forced a grin.

“Probably with John B. I think she said something about eating dinner with him.” You knew Sarah was hardly ever home, bouncing between hanging out with you and her boyfriend. She couldn’t stand her father any more than you could stand your own.

Ward nodded knowingly, his smile tightening. “Ah, of course.” You knew he disapproved of John B. just by the way he said his name with such disdain. Topper had been like a second son to him, and for Sarah to leave him in the dust must have angered Ward.

You turned your attention back to your dad, who poured himself and Ward another glass of wine. “Want some, sweetie?” he asked you with a chuckle, probably proud of himself for being cool enough to offer alcohol to his daughter.

Fighting off an eye roll, you shook your head politely. “No, thanks.” It was bad enough your dad and Ward were borderline drunk; the thought of being tipsy with them made you want to throw up.

“Let me tell you, you look great,” he continued, waving his glass at you. “Doesn’t she look great? A lot like your mother, actually. And well, it makes sense I guess since your mother used to look great too.” His words were slightly slurred, and you braced yourself at the mention of your mother. You were standing awkwardly away from the kitchen island, but didn’t want to step any closer to Ward and your father. So you just stood in the middle of the floor, looking at anything but his face.

Ward nodded. “Yes, Sarah and Y/N are growing into fine young women. It’s a reflection of good parenting, you know,” he joked, making your dad laugh. The sound set your teeth on edge.

“I only wish Sarah wasn’t so distracted,” Ward critiqued, taking a long swig of wine. His eyes took on that distant, scary quality they sometimes had that chilled you to the bone. “It’s that John B., I’m telling you. He’s got her priorities all twisted.”

Oblivious to Ward’s malice, your father chuckled. “My Y/N isn’t distracted in the slightest. She’s right on track for a bright, bright future.” He lifted his glass in a toast, but Ward just frowned.

Your skin was getting hot as your discomfort grew. Hearing your father brag about you was infuriating. He had nothing to do with how good of a daughter you were; that was all your mom. You took after her work ethic and self-discipline, and all you got from your father was a few genes and a lot of stress.

“So what have you been up to lately besides parading around the beach with Sarah?” your father questioned, sipping his wine.

“Not much,” you responded plainly. “Just...enjoying summer, I guess.” You didn’t owe your father any more details than that; if he wanted to know you, he’d have to make an actual effort and change for the better. Right now, he wasn’t somebody you wanted to know.

He nodded, eyes misting over as if remembering something. “Summer’s always been your favorite time of year. I remember when you were little you refused to wear any clothes that weren’t bright yellow, because you said you wanted to look like the sun.”

The memory seared into your mind, bringing with it pain and remorse that you’d spent so long pushing down. Ward just chuckled at this.

“Sarah went through a similar phase with pink,” he tried to explain, but your dad wasn’t paying attention to him. He still looked lost in thought.

“You were my little sunshine, Y/N. Still are, even though you’re older. You’ll always be my sunshine.” His smile, rather than warm your heart, only made you sick to your stomach. After a second you realized you actually felt sick. The sound of Ward’s chuckles and your father’s patronizing voice was suffocating you, and you couldn’t breathe. You knew you couldn’t stay here any longer, and the desire for fresh air overtook your brain.

“I-I have to go,” you stuttered, your vision blurry as anxiety began to rattle through your nerves. You could barely make out your father standing up, reaching his hands out to stop you. This only fueled your panic and you desperately wanted to avoid being grabbed by him.

“Where are you going, sunshine?” he called after you, but his voice was distorted and quiet. You ignored him as you pushed out the front door, sprinting as fast and as far away from his as you could manage.

173 notes · View notes

jjoutermaybanks · 4 years

Text

Electric Love || JJ Maybank x Reader

part one part two part three

summary: you’re the newest member of the pogues, a girl living with one foot in the rich life and one foot in the risky life. you fit right in with the crew, especially the charismatic, annoyingly attractive JJ. how will a drunken night of deep conversation and a dreaded summer party change your friendship forever?

word count: 6k

warnings: time to get ~smutty~

(also rubber up kids no glove no love don’t do it like Y/N and JJ)

*not my gif, credit to owner*

PART THREE

The end of the party finally came, after what felt like an eternity of waiting and avoiding JJ. Sarah had to go home with her dad and Rose to celebrate whatever award he’d received, but she swore to meet up with you all tomorrow. Pope claimed the same thing; his dad had wanted him to work the event, not attend, so he felt obligated to spend the night at his own house. Kiara didn’t mind doing whatever, and John B. looked to me to see what I wanted.

“Want to come back to the Chateau with us?” he asked softly, and Kiara nodded in support.

“We can watch a movie and raid John. B’s snack stash.” Her brown eyes were warm and hopeful, and you knew what they were trying to do. By now everyone had heard--or seen, more likely--what JJ had done. He’d flaunted the brunette all night, at one point blatantly making out with her in the middle of the party. Kie had tried to make you feel better by calling him an asshole and swearing she’d kick his ass, but this didn’t really help. You didn’t hate JJ; quite the opposite, in fact. Calling him an asshole didn’t soften the pain, because it only made you remember all the times he wasn’t an asshole. Like when he carried you home after you split your foot open on a rock, or the time when you were miserable after a fight with your mom and he stayed up half the night at the Chateau cracking jokes just to make you smile.

“That sounds amazing,” you conceded, taking a deep breath before adding, “but I can’t. My mom is gonna want to hear all about my night, and more importantly gossip about hers, so...I’ll see you guys later.” Your smile was forced, but after John B. gave you a hug it became more natural. No matter how rocky your relationship was with JJ right now, you knew you had true friends in the other Pogues.

As you made your way through the dwindling crowd, a familiar blonde appeared in front of you. At first JJ didn’t see you, looking around for someone else. And then his eyes landed on you, taking in your broken expression and sagging shoulders. You noticed his undone bow tie, hanging limply by his neck despite the expert job you’d done on it earlier. His hair was messy, and his shirt was almost entirely untucked. It didn’t take a genius to figure out why he looked like this, and your stomach twisted painfully at the thought.

His jaw set, eyes steeling as they met yours. “Going to find Rafe?” His tone was clipped, a slight smirk twisting his pink lips that dug into your heart like a knife.

You attempted to appear unaffected by him, raising your chin with a blank look. “No, I’m not, actually. Not that you’d believe me either way.” Your fists clenched by your sides as you stood your ground. JJ raised his eyebrows, disguising his reaction with a smirk.

For a second, his lips parted as if to say something. Whatever he was going to say was interrupted by a slender hand snaking around his waist, belonging to the brunette. She was even prettier up close, in a fake tan, perfect teeth kind of way. She gave you a calculating look, causing heat to rise in your cheeks.

JJ cleared his throat, throwing an arm loosely around her shoulder as they breezed right by you. Just as he passed, you caught JJ’s eye; the look he gave you was chilling, his eyes icy and distant. Goosebumps raised on your skin at the sheer frigidity of his demeanor, but you had to push this aside. It didn’t matter, you shouldn’t care so much.

You repeated this mantra all the way home, until you closed the front door behind you and collapsed against the wall. You could hear your mother bustling in the kitchen, surely on cloud nine after tonight. Working up all the energy you had to talk to her, you trudged into the kitchen.

“Y/N! Finally! Wasn’t that just splendid?” Your mother had taken off her gaudy dress and was now in a robe, but still had her hair and makeup done. She looked like a clown, and you knew if JJ were here you two would be laughing about it.

“It was...fine,” you said simply. Honestly, you didn’t even pay attention to the party itself, your thoughts too preoccupied by something else. This didn’t please your mother, however, who then launched into a lecture about how ungrateful you were and that you should show more appreciation for her hard work.

“Look, Mom,” you interrupted after letting her rant and rave for five minutes. “I’m exhausted. Can we fight about this later?” It was no point trying to end the argument; you two were always in a constant combative state. If it wasn’t about the party, it would be about your reckless friends, or your laziness, or the fact that you were never home.

Your mother scoffed. “Fine, avoid confrontation, take the easy way out like you always do. One day you’ll have to take responsibility, you know!” she called after you, but you’d stopped paying attention and slammed the door to your room before she even finished.

The next day you reconvened with the Pogues as planned. Almost all of the Pogues, that is. JJ didn’t show up to your usual meeting place at the dock, and no one had heard from him.

“I wonder where he could be,” Sarah fretted. It wasn’t like JJ to just ghost on you.

Pope rubbed his arm uncomfortably, avoiding your eyes. You could sense he had something to say, and sighed. “Spit it out, Pope.”

He nodded. “It’s just...I think he’s probably with that girl from the party. If I had to take a guess, that is. I could be totally wrong--” He rambled on, trying to soften the blow of an idea you’d already thought of. You knew Pope was probably right. JJ had most likely spent the night with the girl, and he wasn’t the type of guy to just skip out on someone the next morning. You were almost irritated at how chivalrous he was.

“It’s fine, you guys,” you stated, hating how your stupid feelings were affecting the group. “Let’s just move on, alright? What do we have planned for today?”

And it actually was fine, for the most part. Pope needed help fixing his dad’s boat, and so the day was spent working out mechanics and laying around in the sun. Sarah relayed all of the Kook gossip to you and Kie, and it was pretty entertaining hearing about the problems of Outer Banks princesses. Even when the day was winding to a close with no word from JJ, you already felt slightly better. The pain always subsided, it just took a little time. And with the added distance JJ had apparently decided to put between you two, the process would be even easier.

However, after a third day without seeing JJ, you started to worry. Even the other Pogues had started to wonder what had happened to him. It wasn’t like JJ to skip out on all of you, and you knew he valued friendship over everything else. No girl could have changed him this much, no matter how pretty she was.

“At what point do we file a missing person’s report?” you questioned on the fourth afternoon, sitting on the dock beside Pope as he worked on the finishing touches of his dad’s boat. It was just the two of you, so you felt comfortable enough to voice your fears.

Adjusting his hat to keep the sun out of his eyes, Pope cast you a doubtful glance. “I don’t think the cops around here would care too much if we said he was missing,” Pope admitted. “I mean, it’s JJ. He’s gotten in so much trouble before they might even be happy he’s AWOL.”

Hearing the harsh words stung your heart, but you knew they were true. Sensing your grimace, Pope sighed, setting down his tools to sit beside you. “I’m sorry, that was mean.”

“Not mean,” you murmured. “Just true.”

Pope was quiet for a while, and you both watched your hazy reflections in the water before you. Your feet swished in the murky depths as thoughts swam around your mind. After a few minutes, he spoke up again. “What exactly went down between you and JJ? Other than the kiss thing with Rafe.” Pope’s question was innocent, and you knew you owed him an explanation. The only problem was you didn’t even know how to explain it to yourself.

Inhaling deeply, you shrugged. “With JJ it’s always been...different. We’re best friends, of course, but sometimes it felt like more. The way he talked to me, the way he looked at me...I knew he wanted something else, but I was too scared to give it to him.”

“Why?” Pope asked you. “This is just me guessing, but I feel like you maybe liked him too.”

You smiled. “It was that obvious, huh?” Your thoughts drifted to JJ, and for the first time in a while you let your true emotions speak. You remembered his bright blue eyes, how you felt when they connected with your gaze. You remembered his charming smile, how it always managed to banish the darkness. Frowning slightly, you responded, “I don’t know why I was scared...maybe because I’ve never had anything serious with anyone before? Maybe I was too worried about ruining our friendship. I had a lot of excuses, but none of them were good enough to ever get rid of the feelings fully.”

Pope nodded along as you spoke, understanding as ever. “That’s how I feel about Kiara,” he told you, surprising you with his honesty. “I’m crazy about her, but I’d hate to ruin what we have now.”

You nudged his shoulder. “You can’t live in fear, Pope. You have to make a move or you’ll never know.” You also knew Kiara would be thrilled if he actually confessed his feelings.

He smiled at you, eyes full of amusement. “Exactly, and that’s what you should do too.” Rolling your eyes at his reverse logic, you chuckled and shook your head.

“You’re right, obviously. I just need to get over myself.” You knew this was the answer all along, but talking with Pope made it that much clearer. The next time you saw JJ, you would confront him, and whatever happened would be worth it because at least you tried.

But you didn’t know when you’d see him next. He’d been gone for so long, it was anybody’s guess when he’d be back. You didn’t know how long you could wait before all of this newfound bravery was gone.

Getting to your feet quickly, you grinned at Pope. “You know what? That’s just what I’m going to do. I’m going to find JJ.”

Standing up as well, Pope furrowed his brows. “Uh, how? No one’s seen him for days.”

Waving your car keys in the air, you said, “I’ll drive around the whole damn island before I give up. He has to be somewhere around here, right?” You let this brief optimism fuel you as you climbed into your car, firing up the engine and rolling down the window to hear Pope.

He leaned his forearms on the door, peering into the car with a skeptical glance. “Look, Y/N, I’m all for you shooting your shot and following your heart. But...if it leads you nowhere, try not to be too devastated, okay?”

You nodded, hoping your smile was convincing enough to soothe Pope’s worries. You heard what he was saying and took it to heart; for all you knew JJ would laugh in your face when you told him how you felt. But you had to try, or you’d live the rest of your life regretting it.

For the next few hours, you drove around the whole island, searching all the usual spots for JJ. He wasn’t anywhere near the docks, he wasn’t hanging out in The Wreck. You drove through The Cut to no avail, even getting out to ask a few locals if they’d seen him. Refusing to give up, you tried Figure 8 next, thinking that maybe he’d been spending his days terrorizing Kooks. But he wasn’t there either, and once you’d searched everywhere imaginable you slowed to a stop on the side of the road, smacking the wheel out of frustration.

Where the hell are you, JJ? Biting your lip and peering out at the empty street, you wracked your brain for any place you’d overlooked. After a minute of thinking, only one place came to mind. It was so obvious you’d figured he would never go there. You also didn’t think he’d want to set foot anywhere near it.

His house.

You’d only been there once, but with all the Pogues there with you. JJ had needed to get something from inside, and the tension in the air when John B. pulled the van up to the run-down shack was suffocating. Your heart had never beat harder than when you were waiting for JJ to reemerge, hopefully unscathed. After a painful twenty minutes, he’d finally come out, but with a few bruises and scratches to show for it.

When he’d slid into the seat beside you, he said nothing about what had happened inside. And you hadn’t asked, either, knowing that wasn’t what he wanted. So you simply leaned your head against his shoulder, praying that he knew you were there for him. His only reaction to this had been to kiss the top of your head, and that was all you needed to know he understood.

Now, the thought of going back there terrified you. It was truly the last possible option, and you knew you had to check it before giving up on your mission. But the thought of going to that place where so much hurt had occurred...you almost prayed not to find JJ, because that meant he was safe from his father.

Hands shaking as you drove, you tried to compose your breathing. It was a short drive, too short for the amount of mental preparation needed. You parked the car and turned it off, staring out at the seemingly quiet exterior of the house. Appearances were deceiving, though; you knew the horrors that took place behind those walls.

Sucking in a breath, you forced the door open and began to walk towards the house. No point in dawdling, you had a job to do. But as you came closer and closer, you began to hear something. It was a sound you’d seldom heard before, but one that haunted your sleep for weeks on end.

It was the sound of JJ screaming.

Automatically you froze, your entire body immobilized by his voice. Along with his voice was another, a man’s, yelling just as loud. There was a harsh crack, followed by a deep thump that made you flinch. Suddenly you couldn’t breathe, and terror overtook your body.

All of a sudden the front door flung open. The shouts were clearer now, and you glimpsed JJ wrestling out of someone’s grip. His blonde hair was stained with something, his ripped tank top smeared as well. Your heart sank when you realized it was fresh red blood.

JJ’s grunts echoed in your ears as he fought, and the sound of a fist cracking against someone’s face made your eyes shut tight. But they quickly reopened when his father hollered angrily, and you saw JJ rushing towards you.

“Y/N?!” he cried, completely stupefied that you were here. Struggling to form words, you felt your eyes well with tears. But JJ didn’t stop to console you, instead grabbed your arm and ripped you back. It was then you saw his father barreling out the door as well, pure malice in his black eyes.

Slamming into your car, you fumbled with the door and held your breath as JJ collapsed into the passenger seat. “Fucking drive!” he snapped, and you didn’t hesitate before flooring the gas and sending the car jerking into motion. JJ’s father stumbled to the ground, and you watched his figure recede in the rearview mirror.

Gripping the wheel so tight your knuckles were white, you swallowed hard before risking a glance at JJ. If you were stunned before, this was a whole new level of shock. Not only was his shirt and hair stained with blood, but it was dripping from a deep gash in his forehead and cut in his lip. Purple bruises dotted his face, and one of his eyes was a gruesome black color.

You took a shaky breath, swerving accidentally as your shell shock distracted you. JJ immediately lunged to grab the wheel, and the car lurched violently as you hit the brakes.

“What the fuck?” he demanded, eyes hooded with anger as he glared at you. “Can you drive?”

You couldn’t speak, your heart hammering too loudly to think straight. JJ saw the pure fear in your eyes, and instantly softened, his tense shoulders slackening as he pushed his matted hair off his face.

“Shit,” he muttered, staring out at the road in front of you. “What the fuck were you doing at my house?” His tone was a mixture of anger and genuine concern, and it took everything in you not to cry.

“I-I was looking for you,” you admitted, voice barely above a whisper. “You disappeared, and I...I missed you.”

JJ’s face flashed with anguish for a brief second, before he heaved a sigh. “You know the shit that happens at my house,” he said quietly. “What if you’d...what if you got hurt?”

Sniffling, you twisted in the seat to face him. “I don’t care, I had to see you--”

“I care, dammit! I fucking care if you get hurt or not,” he retorted angrily. You shrank back at the hostility in his tone, and when he saw your reaction JJ pressed a hand to his face. “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to yell, it’s just...” His glazed over, as if with tears. “If anything had happened to you back there, if my dad had even laid a hand on you--”

Reaching out to touch his shoulder, you shook your head quickly. “But he didn’t, I’m fine.” When he didn’t look at you, you leaned closer and tried to meet his gaze. Finally he conceded, and watery blue eyes met yours. “Let me take you somewhere,” you begged. “You need to be cleaned up, see if you should go to the hospital.”

JJ tensed. “I’m not going to any damn hospital, Y/N.”

Worried he’d get angry again, you rubbed his arm soothingly and smiled. “Okay, no hospital. Just please let me take care of you?” JJ leaned back against the seat, struggling to breathe normally. After a second, he finally nodded, and you started up the car.

Thankfully your mother had chosen this week to go out of town. It had been nice having the house to yourself, and now especially you were grateful to be alone when you walked through the front door. Holding JJ’s hand, you led him upstairs into the bathroom and had him lean against the counter.

Finding what little first-aid materials you had, you joined him in the bathroom and shut the door. Rifling through the box you found only a couple band-aids and some disinfectant. Biting your lip, you grabbed a washcloth and wet it in the sink. JJ watched your actions closely, arms folded in a guarded position to protect himself. Your heart ached at the thought of him in pain, and you had to force tears out of your eyes a few times.

“Look at me,” you instructed softly, trying to compose yourself when his blue eyes turned to you. You focused on his cuts, gently touching the wet washcloth to the wounds. JJ winced when you made contact, and you placed a hand on his thigh to calm him down. Working slowly and methodically, you cleared off most of the blood from his face, still horrified by the purple bruises that remained on the skin.

A particularly deep cut on his eyebrow refused to stop bleeding, and you moved to press the washcloth to the wound. But JJ resisted, ducking away from you.

“You don’t need to clean me up like a child, Y/N,” he growled, making you press your lips together in a thin line.

“I’m not,” you answered plainly. “Please, just hold still.” He complied, and you pressed the cloth to his eyebrow. JJ hissed at the pain, and you held back a grimace. The thought of you hurting him devastated you, but you also knew he needed to be cleaned up.

JJ was refusing to meet your eyes at this point, anger practically rolling off of him. It was hard to breathe in such a small space, and you found yourself getting lightheaded after a while. When JJ’s eyebrow stopped bleeding, you decided it was time to move on.

“Okay, take your shirt off.” You needed to inspect the bruises there to make sure he didn’t have a broken rib or internal bleed.

But JJ wasn’t having it, and he jumped off the counter. “No way, we’re done here. I’ve got shit to do.” He went to leave, but you grabbed his arm to stop him.

“Wait, please!” He stopped, but didn’t turn around. “Please, JJ. Let me help you. I just...I want to know what happened, and what I can do to make it better.”

Finally he faced you again. A thousand emotions sparked behind his eyes, and he clenched his teeth to fight off emotion. “Why? Why do you care?”

Parting your lips, you said, “Because you’re my best friend.”

He winced, and panic flared in your chest. “Best friends,” he echoed, sounding hollow and uncaring.

Panic flared in your chest, and you grabbed his hands. “More than best friends, JJ. I--” You didn’t know how to finish that statement. You knew how you felt, but you didn’t know if you could handle rejection right now. JJ’s expression changed when he heard you start speaking, but when you stuttered his brow lowered over his eyes.

“You kissed Rafe, Y/N,” he reminded you, causing you to sigh.

“I didn’t,” you forced, hoping he actually understood. “I know what it looked like, but I promise you, I did not want to kiss him.”

A few seconds passed, his expression still furious. “You mean that bastard kissed you without permission?” At your slight nod, he huffed. “I’m gonna kill him with my bare hands--”

“No, no, JJ!” you quickly interrupted, stepping closer so you could press your hands to his chest. “Don’t kill anyone, not for me.”

Gazing down at you, he lifted a hand to rest on the side of your neck, igniting sparks where his fingers fell. “For you, I’d do anything,” he whispered, and your heart flipped.

But then you frowned. “What about the girl from the party? The Kook?” It hurt just to mention her, and the guilt that flashed across JJ’s face only hurt you more.

“She was...nothing. She meant nothing,” he explained, willing you to understand with his eyes. “I don’t even know what I was thinking.” His hand on your neck moved up to wipe a stray tear off your cheek. “The whole time I was with her I was...thinking of someone else.”

Your heart stopped beating. “S-someone else?” There was no oxygen left in the room at this point.

JJ brought another hand over so he was cradling your face, looking deeper into your eyes than he ever had before.

“You.”

Once the word left his mouth that was it. You grabbed his neck and pulled him down to meet your lips, kissing him with all the fervor you’d had stored up in you for weeks.

After imagining this very moment for so long, you couldn’t believe how good it felt. JJ’s lips fit yours like a glove, and the taste was something you would never get over. He was warm and firm in all the right places, and his body reacted to yours like you’d been in sync for your whole life.

You were careful to avoid his injuries, your hands gentle on his chest and your mouth light by his busted lip. Despite how delicate he was in this moment, JJ didn’t let this inhibit his passion as he kissed you with a wild vigor.

His fingers wound through your hair, tugging slightly and eliciting a moan from your throat. The sound must have turned him on, because JJ exhaled deeply. His teeth grazed your lower lip, biting down gently as his hands pulled at your hair again. His back was up against the door, and your hand slithered out to grab the handle.

A smirk played across his mouth as you stumbled into the hallway. “Going somewhere?” he murmured into your ear, breath washing over the shell causing you to shiver.

“Trying to find a bed,” you purred, and his eyes darkened at the words. You pushed him towards your bedroom, closing the door behind you as he fell back onto the bed. You wasted no time in straddling his hips, legs on either side of his thighs as you kissed his lips fervently.

Disconnecting your mouths for a brief second, you pulled your shit over your head, tossing it onto the floor and gazing down at JJ as he took in your bare chest. His hands slowly slid up your torso, igniting fire where his fingers touched, until he reached your breasts and you sucked in a breath. He kneaded your breasts, thumb swiping over your hardening nipples. JJ leaned up to press his lips to your skin, swirling his tongue around your nipple and making more moans of pleasure echo through the room.

“JJ,” you whined as you felt his teeth on your sensitive bud, hands wrapped in his blond locks. As he focused on your chest you expertly slid off your shorts, panties going along with them, and settled with your exposed core on his thigh. He felt your heat there and growled, the sound low and sexy in his throat. You kissed up his neck until you found a sweet spot that had his hips bucking, and as you nibbled at his sensitive skin you began to grind against his thigh.

“Holy shit--” he stuttered, hand skimming down your naked back to guide your hips. You giggled into his collarbone, swiping your tongue across his glistening skin.

Tired of the layers still shielding his body from you, you sat back and started lifting his shirt. Once the fabric was tossed onto the floor, you glanced down and gasped at what you saw.

If the bruises on his face were bad, the ones on his body were a hundred times worse. They were huge and the deepest purple color you’d ever seen, littering his ribcage and abdomen. You could practically feel them aching just by looking at them, and suddenly you were afraid to touch him.

JJ sensed the horror you felt, and shifted so he was leaning back on his elbows. “Y/N,” he whispered, shaking his head. “I’m fine, please don’t cry.” But you couldn’t help the tears flowing in your eyes. You couldn’t imagine how someone--how his own father--could do this. How could one person inflict so much damage, and on someone so pure and good? Your entire body ached for JJ, and for the little boy who never knew love from his own dad.

You felt his hand on your cheek, and you melted into his touch. Sniffling, your lower lip trembled as you slowly came forward, hovering above his torso. And then, with the lightest of touches, you kissed his bruises. Your lips were feather-light against his damaged skin, careful not to hurt him as you moved across his ribs. JJ’s breathing was shaky as your fingers ghosted across the bruises, trying to heal him with your loving touch.

Once you’d finished kissing each one, you brought your lips to his. This kiss was different than the one before; it was soft, and full of so much emotion you could barely contain it. JJ held you close to him despite the bruises, and you craved his touch just the same.

Foreheads tilting together, your eyes met in the darkness. “Y/N,” he began, threading through your hair and stroking down your neck. Anticipation for his next words nearly killed you as you held his gaze.

“I love you.”

A tearful smile breaking out across your face, you chuckled and kissed the corner of his mouth. “I love you too, JJ.”

That was all it took to reignite the heated passion from before. All gentleness from your moment with his bruises was gone, replaced by an intense desire for one another. JJ flipped you over so he was on top of you, and you bit your lip as you watched him slide off his shorts. His cock sprang free from the restrictions of his boxers, hard and stiff as it slid against your thigh.

Reaching a hand out, you gripped his shaft and earned a hiss from JJ. When your hand started moving up and down, his breathing all but stopped, eyes shutting as he let the pleasure take over. Your hand worked slowly but expertly, fingers working his swollen tip and collecting the precum there. Your thumb circled his slit, and this caused JJ to jerk in your hand.

“Ah, fuck,” he groaned, giving you a sloppy kiss. “You better stop doing that or this is gonna be over real quick.” Smiling devilishly, you met his lips in a feverish kiss and let go off his cock. Your hands wrapped around his shoulders, nails digging into the skin and surely leaving marks.

JJ’s hand drifted down your abdomen, nearing the place you were desperately aching for him. When his index finger dragged up your core, you suppressed a moan and rolled your eyes back, feeling bliss explode in your stomach. He traced your entrance carefully, teasing your folds in a way that made your thighs shake.

Sensing you were holding back, JJ kissed your neck and instructed, “Moan for me, baby.” His seductive tone was too much for you, and a string of moans left your lips. His finger finally dipped into you, curling against your walls and spreading heat through your body. JJ’s movements were intoxicating, and he knew just where to touch you and how to do it. His thumb pressed against your clit, making you cry out, and then he circled the bundle of nerves. The stimulation was overwhelming, and your hands fisted the sheets to try to hold you to reality.

JJ added another finger inside of you, pumping faster now. In combination with his thumb on your clit, you knew you were done for when the tight ball in your abdomen exploded into a million sparks. Your orgasm fizzled through your nerves, and your cries became louder as they pierced the quiet air.

“God, JJ,” you breathed, gripping his shoulder for support. He grinned above you, shifting his hips so they aligned with yours. You felt the tip of his cock teasing your entrance, sliding through the slick folds and running over your clit.

“Are you ready?” he asked you quietly, hand affectionately running through your hair before resting on your cheek. You leaned into him, nodding with the smallest of smiles on your face.

“I’m ready.”

He didn’t hesitate. With one swift motion, JJ pushed inside of you. The initial stretch nearly took your breath away, and it took a minute to adjust to his size. He filled you up entirely, hitting every sensitive spot you had. The stretch was deliciously searing, and as he began to move inside of you the feeling only intensified.

“You’re so tight,” JJ moaned, his thrusts slow and controlled. His hair fell over his eyes, lips parted in concentration. He looked strikingly beautiful in this moment, and you couldn’t believe he was actually yours.

You rested your hands above your head, and felt JJ wrap his fingers between yours. It was an intimate gesture that made your heart swoon, and you molded your lips against his with every emotion flooding between you.

His thrusts eventually picked up, and he hit even deeper inside of you. “JJ,” you cried out, wrapping your legs around his waist.

He grunted, using one hand to massage your breast. “Say my name again, Y/N,” he ordered, and you were glad to comply.

“JJ,” you moaned, arching your back while his hips rolled into you. “You feel so good, baby.”

“Fuck,” JJ swore, falling on top of you a little. He only had one arm to support his weight, and he used all of his energy to quicken his pace. His cock slammed deeper and deeper until you felt his balls slap against your skin, and when he hit a particularly good spot you saw stars dance across your vision.

“I’m close,” you panted, bringing a hand down to rub your clit. JJ let out a series of curses at this, clearly frenzied by your self-pleasuring. Your finger played with your clit as he pushed into you, lips brushing yours in a lazy kiss as the euphoria began to take over.

Your second orgasm was building to the breaking point, and with one last stroke you were done for. A second round of fireworks went off inside of you, and your walls instinctively clenched around JJ’s cock. He let out a loud groan at this, clearly close to finishing as well. He thrust a few more times before finally pulling out, a spurt of white liquid flying out onto your stomach.

Senses blurred by pleasure, you reached out to grab his cock and work him down from his high. JJ’s moans echoed in your ears, his voice like a beautiful symphony you’d replay over and over. When you could finally breathe steadily again, you placed your hands above your head, just soaking in the euphoric after-effects of the orgasm.

JJ reached out onto the floor and grabbed his shirt, using it to clean up your skin. He smiled down at you, blue eyes sparkling with residual lust and something else. Love.

Collapsing beside you, JJ pulled the blankets up to cover your naked bodies, cocooning you in warmth and privacy. In this moment, you were the only two people on earth. When he looked at you, it was like nothing else in the universe existed. You shifted forward until your foreheads were pressed together, breathing in each other’s scent.

JJ’s fingers lazily brushed across your cheek, and you pursed your lips to kiss the tip of his nose. He smiled at this, throwing a hand over your waist to haul your body into his. Now you were pressed together in every way, chest to chest and heart to heart.

He studied your eyes, looking straight into your soul. “I love you,” he said again, almost like a reminder. As if you could ever forget he said those amazing words.

“I love you,” you answered, grinning softly. JJ chuckled, wrapping his arms tightly around you. He said it again, making you laugh. So you said it again, and again and again. You would never stop telling him you loved him, and neither would he.

He was yours and you were his; finally.

#outer banks #obx #pope outer banks #pope obx #john b #john b outer banks #john b obx #kiara outer banks #kiara obx #sarah outer banks #sarah obx #jj maybank #jj outer banks #jj obx #jj one shot #jj mayback x reader #jj smut #obx smut #outer banks smut

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jjoutermaybanks · 4 years

Text

Electric Love || JJ Maybank x Reader

part one part two part three

word count: 5k

warnings: slight harassment

*not my gif, credit to owner*

PART TWO

You woke up the next morning on a couch. A familiar couch, you realized, as you ran your fingers along rips and frays you’ve felt hundreds of times before. Slowly sitting up, your head throbbed with the painful aftermath of last night’s alcoholic endeavors. With blurry vision and a sore throat, you glanced around the living room of the Chateau, John B.’s rundown house you often found yourself in.

“Morning, princess.” The voice belonged to JJ, who was behind the couch cooking something in the kitchen. You craned your neck to spot him, taking in his shirtless torso and relaxed posture. John B. leaned on the counter beside him, peering doubtfully at whatever JJ was cooking. It smelled slightly burnt, and you wrinkled your nose.

Groaning, you pressed your hands to your eyes and rubbed away the residual drowsiness there. “How did I get here?” you grumbled, completely spacing on how you ended up at the Chateau after the beach party. The last thing you remembered was warming up with JJ after the swim and contemplating your feelings about him. Everything after that was a total blank.

“You don’t remember?” John B. asked. “The party was getting boring and most people had left, so we decided to dip. You were so drunk we knew going home wasn’t an option, so we brought you here. Kie and Pope are in the other room sleeping still.”

You nodded; this made sense. You’d told your mom to expect you home late or not at all since you’d probably be sleeping over somewhere. You only wished you hadn’t blacked out so you could enjoy the rest of the party with your friends.

Getting to your feet, you crossed the room and found a hoodie which you gladly pulled over your freezing upper body. A crop top and shorts wasn’t the most comfortable outfit to fight a hangover, but this oversized hoodie would definitely help.

As you wandered into the kitchen, JJ turned and smirked at you. “Wearing my hoodie, huh? Looks good on you, Y/N.” You gave him a small smile as you glanced into his pan, frowning at the blob-like mess you saw there.

“This is cooking to you?” you joked, taking in the random ingredients littering the counter. A bottle of maple syrup was leaking onto the countertop and you swiped a finger across the golden brown liquid, licking your finger happily as the sweetness bloomed on your tongue. JJ’s gaze lingered on your mouth as you cleaned off the syrup, his hand working to flip whatever was in the pan.

“Yes, in fact, it is,” he fired back, dumping the contents of the pan onto a plate. “Feel free to enjoy Chef JJ’s world-renowned pancakes.”

Raising your eyebrows, you picked up the “pancake” with your fingers and held it in front of your face, inspecting the lopsided shape and burnt sides. Your only response was a disbelieving expression which made JJ scoff.

“Come on, I tried. Besides we didn’t have a waffle-maker, so I had to change my plans.” He wiped his hands on a towel and threw it over his shoulder, hands on his hips as he pretended to scowl at you.

Tearing a piece off the pancake, you plopped it into your mouth and were surprised at the edible quality. “You were gonna make me waffles?” you questioned, remembering vaguely how you told him about your dad’s infamous waffles last night. JJ nodded.

“Yeah, thought it’d be good hangover food.” His explanation was casual, and you weren’t sure what you expected. For him to admit he made it just for you, because he wanted to show you how much he cared about you? That he appreciated you opening up to him? But you knew JJ, and he wasn’t the warm and fuzzy type. Waffles were definitely just waffles to him, not symbolic of anything deeper.

Soon enough Kiara and Pope joined you all in the kitchen, and JJ cranked out enough pancakes to feed the whole lot. It was a real Pogue breakfast, and you spent the morning laughing and chatting with your best friends. Around noon, Kiara mentioned that she had to leave to meet her parents before the big event tonight.

“What big event?” you asked her. The only big event you knew about was the beach party last night.

Kiara gave you a puzzled look. “Don’t you remember? The Midsummers party? It’s tonight, and I have a stupid luncheon with my parents and the club committee members before they start getting ready for it.”

When she said the words Midsummers party you remembered exactly what was happening. Your mother had told you about it weeks ago, in a fit of excitement and nervous giggles. She’d apparently worked her butt off to get access to the exclusive club, since not being an official Kook made things difficult. But apparently she’d kissed enough asses and pulled enough strings to score an invite for you, and she’d even gone out and bought special dresses for the occasion. You’d been dreading it for so long you must have pushed it fully out of your mind, but now you remembered exactly how much you didn’t want to go.

Upon seeing your reaction, Kiara laughed. “Trust me girl, I’m not excited either. But you me and Sarah are all going, so we can make it fun.”

“And me,” John B. added with a hint of an embarrassed blush. He wasn’t used to the perks of dating Sarah Cameron yet. “I’m going with Sarah as a plus one.”

A lightbulb went off in your mind, and you broke into a grin. “That’s it! We can bring Pope and JJ as plus ones! It’ll definitely make the night more bearable.” Being surrounded by Kooks for a whole night was never going to be fun, but with the Pogues all there together it would be more than tolerable.

JJ looped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his chest. “Aw, you want me to go as your date? I’m touched.” His sparkling eyes made you roll yours, and you pushed him off lightly.

“As much as I hate to admit it, you make everything better,” you told him, and his smile only widened. “I think it’s a great idea, what do you guys think?”

Pope looked thrilled at the prospect of accompanying Kiara to a fancy party, and even she had a flush on her cheeks. “You guys ready to go full Kook?” Kiara challenged, and Pope and JJ both pretended to salute.

“I’m ready, sergeant,” Pope joked. “Send me into the battle zone.”

Satisfied with the morning’s accomplishments, you stated, “Okay, so let’s all meet up beforehand. Kie, Sarah and I were gonna go to yours anyway, so should the guys meet us there too?”

“Sure thing. Make sure to dress nice, you guys,” she said pointedly, directing her stern gaze to Pope, JJ, and John B. John B. threw his hands up in defense.

“Trust me, Sarah’s had my outfit planned for months.”

Pope and JJ met each other’s gazes and sighed. “Guess we have to clean up for once, dude,” JJ said gravely. “It’s a shame I have no idea how to tie a tie, though.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’ll do it for you, you big baby.”

JJ grinned, shooting you a naughty look. “Any excuse to have your hands on my neck is a good excuse,” he taunted, and you shoved at his bare chest.

“Yeah yeah, whatever. I’ve gotta go meet my mom, alright? Be at Kiara’s 6 o’clock sharp.” With one last threatening glare, you and Kiara strode out of the Chateau and immediately launched into a conversation about how stupid the party was going to be.

Going home was never something you looked forward to. Your relationship with your mom was neutral at best, and when things like the Midsummers party came around it only drove a deeper wedge between the two of you. She was a desperate social climber and you wanted nothing to do with the Kooks, so naturally you didn’t get along. On top of that was the history with your dad, and you knew your mother had never gotten over him the way you have.

“I’m home,” you called, closing the door to your mid-sized, fairly modest new home. It wasn’t up to Kook standard, but it was way better than the shacks that JJ and John B. lived in. It felt weird having a foot in each world, and you often felt like you didn’t fit in anywhere.

Your mother burst out of her room and approached you with a breathless smile. In her arms was the dress. She’d bought it for you the second she found out you two were able to attend the party, and to say you weren’t looking forward to wearing it was an understatement. It wasn’t ugly by any means, but you were a shorts and tee shirt kind of girl, not a prissy dress girl.

“There are heels on your bed,” your mother informed you, handing you the dress like it was a baby. “Try it on--I made a few alterations.” You forced a smile, not wanting to upset your mother despite your revulsion to the whole evening. She was excited, and you didn’t want to put a damper on it.

Closing the door to your room, you examined the cursed dress. It was the palest of blues, made out a slippery chiffon material that a light breeze would easily blow around your feet. The neckline was a deep sweetheart and the straps were thin, and holding the dress up against you you saw how the color made you look incredibly tan.

You also noticed you still had JJ’s hoodie on, and smiled in the mirror. It fell to your mid-thigh, almost like a dress itself, and you imagined what it would be like to wear this to the party instead. JJ would be knocked dead for sure, and you wished you could see the look on his face when you walked in.

What am I doing? you thought, your smile falling into a frown. You had these recurring thoughts about JJ all the time, and you definitely knew he was more than a friend. So why did you jokingly push him away whenever he made advances on you? Why didn’t you just let him kiss you like you secretly wanted?

Sighing, you pulled off his sweatshirt and folded it neatly on the bed. You’d give it back to him at Kiara’s, it would be wrong to keep it. And you pushed all thoughts of kissing JJ out of your mind too; what you needed now was a friend, and JJ was your very best friend. Kissing was not something best friends did.

After discarding the rest of your clothes you slipped into the dress, surprised at how light and airy the material was and the way it hugged your body. You rejoined your mother in the living room and she zipped it up for you, stepping back to get a full view.

“Oh, sweetie,” she exclaimed, tears pricking at her eyes. “You look beautiful.”

Your face beet red from embarrassment, you mustered a smile and turned once in the dress. “It’s pretty, Mom,” you replied, saying it more to boost her ego than anything.

“Well, I have splendid taste,” she bragged, and you grit your teeth before disappearing back into your room to take the overly girly dress off.

The day could not go by quick enough, and after waiting for what felt like forever it was finally time to go to Kiara’s. With your dress and makeup bag in tow, you said a quick goodbye to your mother before departing. She made you promise to find her at the party so she could “introduce you to some friends”, which really just meant she wanted you to get in the good graces of some stuck-up Kook parents.

Getting ready at Kiara’s was just as much as fun as getting ready at Sarah’s last night. You had good music to drown out any worries, and the three of you helped with makeup and jewelry as you awaited the guys’ arrival.

“Seriously, getting John B. to even try on dress clothes was nearly impossible,” Sarah pouted. “I know I’m a Pogue now, but can you blame a girl for loving a little dress up?”

Kiara laughed, shaking her head. “I just can’t imagine any of those guys in anything but ripped tank tops and board shorts.”

“Five bucks JJ shows up in just that,” you challenged, grinning in the small mirror in front of you as you swiped on some highlight. Some subtle lip gloss, mascara, and highlight was all you decided to wear. Kiara had woven flower crowns for the three of you and as you placed it atop your head, your transformation was complete. You’d gone from full Pogue to full princess, with a crown to boot. Scowling at your reflection, you stood up and fidgeted with the dress.

“I feel so stupid,” you admitted, wobbling slightly in the heels your mother had bought you.

“Same here,” Kiara echoed, glaring down at her purple dress and smoothing the silky material over her waist. Sarah looked like a goddess in her off-the-shoulder white dress, and smiled like she was Miss America or something.

“You both look beyond gorgeous, shut up,” she reprimanded. “Pope and JJ are going to lose their minds.”

Biting your lip, you suppressed a smile. Secretly you couldn’t wait to see what JJ thought of how you looked. Would he hate it since it was so not your style? Would he think Kiara or Sarah was way prettier and decide to flirt with them instead? Nerves began twisting in your stomach as 6 o’clock grew closer and closer.

Finally it came, and in burst the trio of boys. The suit that Sarah had chosen for John B. made him look slick, almost like James Bond. His hair was just as wild as ever though, and she fretted over the brown locks as he kissed her freshly painted lips.

Pope looked suave as well, saying he had worn his special scholarship outfit. Someone had already done his tie for him, because he was pulling at his neck and frowning. Kiara straightened it for him and grinned, seeming to forget her annoyance at the party once Pope arrived.

JJ was the most disheveled of them all, but he managed to pull it off in the sexiest way. A white button down was haphazardly tucked into black slacks, the sleeves pushed up his forearms. A matching black vest was thrown over top, and what looked like a floral bow tie was hanging off of his neck, sloppily done by whoever attempted to tie it. Despite the messiness of his appearance, he looked good. His hair was pushed off his forehead and his hands were buried inside his pockets, almost like he was nervous.

Then his eyes landed on you, and his jaw practically hit the floor. You blushed at his obvious ogling, feeling shy as he clearly checked you out. You suddenly hoped the dress looked pretty and that your makeup wasn’t awful. Under JJ’s gaze, you felt more vulnerable than ever.

“Wow” was all he managed to say, still stricken with disbelief. “And I thought you looked hot in my hoodie.”

Tucking a lock of hair behind your ear, you smiled and took a few steps towards him. Your hands went to the bow tie at his throat, and JJ instantly tensed at your close proximity.

“Someone really butchered this poor thing,” you told him, biting your lip as you attempted to retie it in an acceptable way. JJ inhaled deeply, clearly trying to control himself as your fingers ghosted against his neck.

“Wanted to look good for you, babe,” he murmured into your ear, making heat spread out through your body. Looking up at him through your lashes, you finished tying the bow and leaned back to examine your handiwork.

“You kind of look like a waiter,” you admitted, and JJ snorted.

“As if the Kooks would trust me with their precious sparkling cider,” he mocked.

You raised one eyebrow, folding your arms. “You know, you look a lot like a Kook right now,” you chuckled, causing JJ to pretend to freak out and mess up his hair.

“Never! I am a Pogue for life,” he swore. “Although, if being a Kook means I get to see you like this more often, sign me up.”

You looked down at your dress, cocking your head. “Do I...look better like this? Better than I do normally?” For a second you worried that JJ liked you better all dolled up, and once you were natural and comfy again he wouldn’t find you pretty anymore.

Leaning against one forearm on the wall, JJ gave you a genuine smile. “Of course not. I love when you’re natural.”

Beaming at his praise, you laced your fingers through his and turned to the group. “Are we ready to do this thing?” you voiced, feeling a little giddy about the party. There was no way it wouldn’t be fun with this crowd.

Kiara straightened her flower crown and nodded. “Ready.”

The party was in full swing when you all arrived. Classical music drifted out of speakers mounted on the Island Club walls, and fancily dressed adults mingled with flutes of champagne in hand. You spotted your mother attempting to infiltrate a large group of Kooks, and ducked out of view so she couldn’t see you.

Two familiar figures were striding by, and you scowled upon recognizing Topper and Rafe. “Didn’t know we hired Pogues as the help,” Rafe mocked, giving JJ a sneering look. “If I want a refill of my champagne, can I ask you to get it?”

You felt JJ brace beside you, and squeezed his hand slightly to calm him down. He glanced over at you, and you gave him an encouraging smile. JJ blowing up and hitting someone was not ideal, so you knew it was your job to keep his temper under control.

The Pogues dispersed as Sara dragged John B. to talk to some of her Kook friends and Kiara was roped into a large group with Pope by her side. Now it was just you and JJ wandering through the party, and you felt extremely uncomfortable. Kooks were giving you sidelong glances with steely, judgmental eyes. They didn’t think you belonged there, and truthfully neither did you. You weren’t one of them, and having JJ on your arm wasn’t helping your image either. You weren’t ashamed of him, just very conscious of how it looked to be seen with someone like him.

“Look at that lady’s headpiece,” JJ hissed into your ear, pointing to a woman in a loud red dress and an even louder headpiece. Sharp golden rods like spears shot out of a circle above her head, making her look like the demon sun or something. You giggled into your hand, not wanting to alert anyone that you were making fun of guests. JJ continued pointing out awfully dressed attendees, and you spent the next few minutes gaping at some truly dreadful outfits.

He managed to swipe some champagne and presented you with a glass. Pretending to curtsy, you accepted the drink and downed it in one quick sip. JJ whistled, copying your actions and draining his glass.

“Am I gonna have to carry you home again, Y/L/N?” he asked. “Not that I’m opposed, of course.”

“Shut up,” you retorted. “Champagne won’t get me drunk. I don’t think.”

He snorted. “Yeah sure, whatever you say lightweight.” You socked his arm and he laughed as he tried to avoid the hits, grabbing your hand to stop you from smacking him. Closing his fingers around yours, JJ led you through the crowd and onto the makeshift dance floor. Other couples were slow dancing to the song on the speakers, and JJ placed his hands on your hips when you found a space of your own on the floor.

“Are we seriously slow dancing?” you questioned, looping your arms around his neck and laughing. “This is so gross.”

“Just sway to the music, Y/N. Let your body take over.” He closed his eyes and gripped your waist, causing warmth to seep through the skin where he touched you. Gazing up at JJ’s face, you imagined what would happen if you actually let your body take over right now.

Apparently your body wanted to kiss him, because you naturally leaned in close until your lips almost brushed his. JJ realized what you were doing and fluttered his eyes open, parting his lips to meet yours. Just when you were about to connect, someone tapped your shoulder and shattered the moment.

Grimacing, you separated from JJ and turned to see your mother frowning at you. “Y/N,” she scolded. “You were supposed to find me! I want you to meet people!”

Holding onto JJ for support, you bit your lip and shrugged. “Can’t I just stay with my friends?”

“No, I got you into this party to mingle, so that’s exactly what you’re going to do.”

Sighing, you disconnected from JJ and cast him a rueful glance. He gave you a sad smile, regret swimming in his ocean blue eyes. You wished you could stay with him for the whole night, but your mother began dragging you away and towards a crowd of judgmental Kooks.

For the next half hour you were stuck pretending to engage in a conversation with the most boring people on the planet. Everything those people said made you want to roll your eyes, but you resisted for your mother’s sake. Rafe was part of the conversation, and his eyes never left your face the whole time.

After a while when the conversation dwindled, you saw Rafe gesture for you to follow him. Begrudgingly, you complied. Anywhere was better than that boring group. He walked over to a quieter part of the party, where only a few people were around.

“So,” Rafe began, looking at you up and down. “How are you enjoying the party?”

Your smile was pinched. You didn’t know how to act around Rafe; making a Kook mad was never a good idea, but acting nice would take all of your effort. You chose to be humorous, and answered, “It’s wonderful, I haven’t wanted to gouge my eyes out once.”

He gave an odd chuckle at this, making you shift on your feet. “Midsummers is particularly horrifying because of all the...what do you even call those headpieces?” he wondered, and you chuckled when he pointed to the woman you and JJ had mocked earlier.

“She could probably kill someone with that,” you stated, feeling a little awkward joking around with Rafe. He definitely wasn’t the kind of guy you’d choose to hang around, but getting on his bad side would only make your life harder. It was best to play along with him until he got bored and left.

Rafe looked at you closely, and you smiled to ease some of the tension you felt. “You know, you’re pretty funny.” You blushed at his compliment, and he continued. “I always thought you were too good for those Pogues you hang out with,”

“Your sister is one of those Pogues,” you pointed out, trying to joke about it.

His expression turned sour at the mention of Sarah. “My sister is a lost cause ever since John B. manipulated her into loving him.”

You blinked, surprised at the malice in his tone. Your smile faltered a little but you made sure to keep it up in fear of upsetting him. When you stayed quiet, Rafe crossed his arms and smirked. “You on the other hand have potential.”

“Potential?” you asked innocently, and something about your light tone pleased Rafe as he stepped closer to you.

“I think there’s still time to save you from the dark side,” he said lowly, suddenly raising a hand to rest on your cheek. Before you knew what was happening, he had leaned down and pressed his lips to yours. You were so shocked you didn’t move at first, merely held your mouth against his as he tried to deepen the kiss. Lifting a hand to his arm, you tried to push him off but he was stronger than you.

“Don’t fight it, baby,” he murmured against your mouth, grabbing the small of your back to bring you closer to him. Gagging, you used your other hand to push at his chest until you could tear your mouth away, breathing shakily as you separated.

As you stared incredulously up at Rafe, you spotted a familiar figure a few meters behind him. JJ stood completely still, his expression full of shock and hurt. Reacting immediately, you shoved Rafe off and stumbled over to him, grabbing onto JJ’s arm as you stuttered out an explanation.

“He just kissed me, I don’t--”

“It didn’t look like you were trying to stop it,” he snapped, voice cold all of a sudden. Your eyes widened, watering at his harsh tone.

“I-I swear, I didn’t want to be talking to him, he approached me!”

“So why did I see you smiling and laughing at every word he fucking said?” JJ countered, eyes glinting with fury. “If you wanted to mack on a Kook, you should’ve just told me.”

Your jaw dropped, and suddenly it became hard to breathe. “JJ, I...”

“Forget it,” he muttered, pushing his hair out of his face in aggravation. “If you wanna mack on a Kook, then so can I.” With this, he stalked away from you and towards a cluster of pretty rich girls. They burst into giggles when he approached them, probably excited to live out a bad-boy fantasy. JJ was a natural charmer, and within minutes he had a particularly pretty brunette attached to him.

All of the breath was knocked out of you, and it was hard to stand up. You didn’t know what hurt more; JJ’s refusal to believe you, his best friend, or how quickly he sidled up to that brunette Kook and was already giving her the eyes he saved for just you. You felt sick to your stomach, and gripped your arms tightly as you wove through the throng of party-goers, desperate to find another one of your friends.

John B.’s signature tousled hair was spotted standing alone towards the edge of the crowd, sipping champagne and regarding the guests with a disgusted look on his face. You followed his gaze and saw he was watching Sarah who was chatting up a storm with half a dozen Kook girls that giggled so loudly you could hear them across the room.

“Hey, Y/N,” John B. sighed once you approached. “I know I’m a terrible boyfriend and should be with Sarah but...I swear to God, I can’t listen to those girls right now.” He looked to you for approval, almost as if you would’ve disapproved. But then he caught on to your pained expression, and immediately changed disposition. “What happened? Why are you crying?”

You hadn’t realized there were tears staining your cheeks, and as you went to wipe them away a choked sob escaped your lips. “It’s JJ,” you started, bottom lip trembling as more tears threatened to come. “He saw Rafe kiss me a-and got mad because he thought I liked it, and then h-he left to go flirt with some stupid Kook girl.” The words were barely audible over the sound of your crying, but John B. understood you perfectly.

“Wait--Rafe kissed you? Against your will?” Anger had seeped into his tone, and you briefly recalled how passionately John B. reacted when his friends were in trouble.

“I-I don’t know, we were talking and I didn’t want to make him angry so I pretended to smile and laugh a-and he just kissed me. I swear I tried to push him off, but he was so strong it probably looked like I wasn’t trying at all.” You pressed your fists to your forehead, frustrated with yourself. “JJ didn’t even listen to me.”

John B.’s face was grave, and he peered around the club trying to spot JJ. Sure enough, you could both see him clear as day: he had his hands around the brunette, leaning close to her ear and whispering something that caused her to giggle. Their closeness made you want to throw up, and you forced yourself to look away.

“Rafe is an asshole, and I swear the next time I see him I’ll make him regret ever even speaking to you,” John B. vowed, his serious tone making you laugh morosely. All you could do was nod as you imagined JJ and that Kook getting closer and closer, maybe even falling in love. You had to admit, it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility. JJ might have said he despised the Kooks, but you knew there was a part of him that was crazy jealous. He had to scrape by just to live, and with an abusive father thrown on top of it. If that Kook girl could offer him a safe life of luxury, you knew he’d jump at the chance.

You also knew you could never give him what he needed. You couldn’t protect him from his father; you could barely sustain a tolerable relationship with your mother. And as for giving him a better life, you didn’t have that kind of money or resources. You were the outsider, the painfully average girl that was just lucky enough to become friends with the Pogues. JJ deserved better than you, and it was time you admit this.

“It’s okay,” you finally declared, half for John B. and half for yourself. “JJ can do whatever he wants. He’s not mine.” This last part was said quietly, and you didn’t even know if John B. heard. He’s not yours. It was the cruel truth; as much as your feelings for JJ had grown recently, and as much as you wanted him to just kiss you already, you knew he wasn’t yours to have. And at this rate, he never would be.

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jjoutermaybanks · 4 years

Text

Electric Love || JJ Maybank x Reader

part one part two part three

word count: 4k

warnings: reference to abuse, flirting and fluff

*not my gif, credit to owner*

PART ONE

The Wreck was buzzing with activity. Your shift was nearly over, but the number of diners had yet to start shrinking, and you had a feeling you wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon. Kiara, your best friend and coworker, hurried from table to table trying to keep up with the mid-afternoon rush. Plates of steaming food were piled high on your tray as you wove around the tables, depositing drinks and appetizers with ease. Although you’d only been working there for the month of June, you’d slid right in and picked up all the right skills to be a prized employee. Kiara met your encouraging gaze across the room and smiled, throwing a thumbs up. She was probably thinking about the plans you two had with the guys after work; in a matter of minutes, John B, Pope, and JJ would burst through the doors and raise hell in the small restaurant. You couldn’t wait.

Despite the short amount of time you’d been in the Outer Banks, you loved every second of it. You and your mom made the move pretty suddenly, and you were worried you’d spend the summer friendless and wandering around the island alone. But within a week, you’d noticed a certain group of misfits always parading around causing chaos. For a few days you shadowed them, fascinated by the adventures they went on. And then one day, the loud-mouthed blonde one spotted you sitting alone at a beachside bench and demanded you join them on their latest expedition. Later you learned his name was JJ, and you owed him everything because he introduced you to a life of exhilaration.

Now, weeks later and after many perilous antics, you were just another Pogue. You gossiped with Sarah, joked with John B. and Pope, ranted with Kiara, and flirted with JJ. He was just so damn charming, and his smile made you roll your eyes as much as blush. It was all friendly banter of course, because of the no Pogue-on-Pogue macking rule. However, Sarah and John B. sort of complicated that now, and even Pope and Kiara were crossing some lines. No one had offered to change or eliminate the rule, so everything was sort of in limbo. You knew not to push things with JJ though, since you wanted to preserve the friendship. The last thing you wanted was to ruin things and have to spend the summer alone again.

Time was ticking, and in a few short minutes you’d technically be free to go. But upon seeing Kiara’s overwhelmed expression as she approached, you knew it would be more than a few minutes.

“Dad wants us to stick around till the crowd lessens,” she explained with a pout. “The only thing is it’ll take hours for this crowd to disappear.” She gestured to the overly full dining room, and you groaned.

“Aren’t there people coming to take over our shifts? We have plans.” You had been anticipating the day for a week now; after work, a quick trip of delivering groceries would help you unwind before the party the Pogues were throwing on the beach. It would be your first real Pogue party, and you couldn’t wait to meet more kids from The Cut and even some snobs from Kookville. Despite not living in The Cut and having a bit more money than your friends, you didn’t consider yourself anything close to a Kook. Your mom might have been trying to get in with the rich crowd, but you were more than satisfied with your band of misfits.

“Yeah, but you know we’re the only capable waitresses who work here,” Kiara joked, and you chuckled. She was right; you two always got the most tips and the most tables turned in the shortest time. You were the dream team of The Wreck, so if anyone could deal with this crowd it was you two.

The next ten minutes you both hustled to get as much done as possible; you were practically running to give people their bills so they’d be out the door. And this speedy method actually worked; enough tables cleared that you could take a breather.

All of a sudden, a familiar chorus of voices sounded behind you. Whirling around, you grinned as you spotted your best friends marching into the dining area, already chanting and laughing and annoying the customers. This was their best tactic since it forced Kiara’s dad to let you two leave. Once you left, the obnoxious teenage boys would be out of his hair. It was a win-win.

“Y/N!” JJ called, blue eyes sparking with mischief as he swung his body around the tables to stand beside you. His beachy blonde hair was pushed off his forehead and blowing in the warm breeze, his tanned skin shining with slight sweat. “I almost forgot how good you look in that apron,” he commented, whistling approvingly as you smacked his arm and smiled.

“No hitting on me while I’m on duty,” you scolded him, suppressing a laugh as he mocked you for saying duty. You practically had to shove him away in order to finish your shift, but his infectious energy caused a wide grin to stretch across your lips all the same.

“Some time today, Kie,” John B. whined, drumming his hands on the tabletop for effect. “So much to do, so little time.”

Kiara snorted, pouring fresh lemonade into a few glasses. “The party doesn’t start till sundown, and besides Pope doesn’t have that many groceries to deliver.”

Pope shrugged, admitting she was right. “But still, wouldn’t you rather waste the day on the water than in here?”

Kiara frowned, glancing at the clock on the wall. “You’re right,” she grumbled. Her brown eyes peered around the corner for her dad, spotting him and pasting on the sweetest smile she could muster. “Alright Dad, that’s it! Me and Y/N are outta here!”

Before he could protest, you both tore off your aprons and threw them onto the counter, sprinting out of the restaurant as fast as you could. It was only a short run to the docks where the trusty HMS Pogue was waiting for your arrival. As you ran, you felt Pope, Kie, and John B. hot on your heels with JJ closer to your side. You liked to brag that you were by far the fastest Pogue, and quite a few sprints had proved that point. JJ still liked to challenge you though, and today was no different. As he tried to keep up with you, you laughed and tilted your face to the sun, letting your long hair out of the messy bun you kept it in for work. As the long waves of sun-bleached hair fell on your shoulders, blown back by the wind as you ran, JJ faltered his step and began to lag behind.

“Ha!” you yelled triumphantly, fist pumping. “Slow-pokes!” You were the first one to reach the dock, breathing hard but satisfied with the exhilarating run. JJ was second, and he hunched over his knees, panting.

“Damn you, Y/L/N,” he wheezed, shooting you a toothy grin. “Caught me off guard with that sexy hair flip.”

You laughed and pushed at his shoulder. “In your dreams, Pogue.” You glanced over and saw Sarah jogging over to join you, stopping first to kiss John B. of course. You wrinkled your nose at their PDA, but also felt a pang of jealousy. They were crazy in love, it was hard not to envy them.

JJ caught you staring and elbowed you. “Could be us, you know,” he prompted, a suggestive smirk on his lips. “You’re missing out big time.”

You were about to sock him on the chest when Pope forced himself between you two to get on the boat.

“Alright guys, we actually have a job to do now. My dad’s probably waiting for us.” You gave JJ a warning expression and mouthed I’ll get you later before climbing onto the boat. John B. took the wheel with Sarah at his side, and Pope and Kiara sat next to each other by the front. JJ whipped his shirt off and sprawled out on the back floor, arms flexed behind his head as he soaked up the hot sun. You sat beside him, legs swinging as you felt the spray of water when the boat took off. The lazy sun, the warm water...you were absolutely in love with the Outer Banks.

The group chattered endlessly for the whole ride, never ceasing even when Pope went to collect the groceries for the day. JJ attempted to show off with a hacky sack, but ended up kicking it into the water.

“No no no no!” he wailed, arms waving wildly. “John B., you gotta stop bro! Man overboard!” Slowly, the boat came to a halt in the water, and everyone laughed as JJ pretended to freak out. “I can’t see her anymore! Oh my god, I loved that sack!”

You scoffed, standing up and discarding your shirt. You had spotted the hacky sack floating just a few meters back “Relax, JJ, you’ll survive.” You then took off your shorts, left only in a bathing suit, before stepping onto the side of the boat and swiftly diving into the water. You broke through the surface and were immersed into refreshing water. Coming up for air, you turned back to the boat and saw JJ leaning over the side of the boat, gaping at your bold action.

“Hey! Now we have two men overboard!” he called, and you giggled as you kicked your legs to stay afloat. Spotting the hacky sack, you dove back under and swam over to it, snatching it up and waving it in the air.

“She’s a hero, ladies and gentlemen!” Sarah announced with a grin. You pretended to bow and accept the congratulations before swimming back to the boat, pausing before grabbing JJ’s extended hand. He only needed to use one arm to pull you up effortlessly, landing you sitting off the side and smiling breathlessly before tossing him his beloved hacky sack.

“You’re welcome, you big baby,” you chuckled, gasping when he suddenly gave you a big hug. Your dripping body pressed against his bare torso, and you smiled into his shoulder as he squeezed you tight.

“How can I ever repay you?” he said dramatically, leaning back to meet your eyes. “I might just give you a kiss I love you so much right now.” As his face neared yours you quickly pushed it away with your hand, giggling as he let out a whooshing breath of disappointment.

“Not today, slick.” Swinging your legs over onto the floor, you flipped your hair and ran your hands through the damp strands already drying from the sun. The rest of the groceries were delivered without a hitch, and soon enough it was evening and the sun was beginning to set. After docking the boat, the group gathered in a circle to discuss the plan.

“Meet back here at 8,” John B. instructed. “We’ll bring all the coolers and cups out onto the beach. Then it’s party time.”

JJ let out a whoop, and everyone else broke into excited grins. You especially were beyond excited, and couldn’t wait to get ready with Kiara and Sarah. The three of you had of course planned outfits in advance, getting advice from each other before deciding. Everything was ready and waiting at Sarah’s, and as the group split up you three practically ran back to her house.

With music blasting in her room and clothes strewn about the floor, you began to get ready. Makeup was always minimal since you never knew when you’d be swimming, so just some moisturizer and an eyelash curl was all you needed. You loved the sun-kissed, beachy vibe your tanned skin and curled hair was giving off. You looked like a fun, adventurous girl who lived a carefree life. It was a welcome change from your usual appearance.

“Pope was totally checking me out, right?” Kiara wondered aloud, fiddling with a hair tie as she attempted a half-up hairstyle. “I mean, I know I looked good, but did he notice?”

“Totally,” Sarah confirmed, plucking at a few stray hairs in her eyebrows. “He’d be an idiot not to be into you, Kie. And JJ was definitely going crazy over your little dive, Y/N.” Sarah’s suggestive expression made you throw a pillow in her direction, laughing.

“No way,” you refuted. “No Pogue-on-Pogue macking, remember?”

The two girls snorted. “Uh, hello, Y/N,” Sarah said. “Me and John B. do a lot more than macking, you know.”

Pretending to be grossed out, you feigned a shudder. “Ew, absolutely not. JJ’s my friend, I’d hate to ruin things by trying to be something more.”

Kiara frowned, finished with her hair and now leaning against the wall. “That’s how I feel about Pope. But I don’t want to be just friends anymore.”

Sarah stood up from her desk, fully dressed and primped for the party. “I say go for it, Kie. You only live once.” She checked herself out in the mirror, nodding approvingly. “Ladies, we outdid ourselves tonight.”

The three of you looked good, you had to admit. Even in the dark people would be watching you all, checking out the hot Pogues who totally overshadowed the stuck-up Kook princesses. You could just see JJ’s jaw dropped when you got to the beach, and resisted rolling your eyes even now.

It was a short walk back to the beach, and by the time you got there it was pitch black. No one had really arrived yet other than the Pogues and a few stragglers from The Cut. The Kooks were always fashionably late, and it was only a matter of time before the walking Hollister models arrived.

Pope, John B., and JJ were pouring drinks into red cups and passing them around, and you accepted a cup with a grin. Getting drunk was fun, and you loved the way you felt when tipsy. Like you were lighter than air, and the world had a bubbly, gold-tinted glow. Downing the first cup too quickly, you choked a little at the end and rubbed at your chin, flushing in slight embarrassment. JJ raised his eyebrows and handed you another full cup, catching your eye and smiling.

Soon, the party was in full swing. Kooks and Cut kids alike swarmed the sand, downing alcohol and dancing around half-drunk. Sarah mingled with a few Kooks, dragging John B. with her despite his less than thrilled expression. Pope and Kiara were of course together, debating some meaningless topic while trying to keep the stupid grins off their faces. JJ was manning the drinks, hat twisted backwards like he always did to keep his hair off his face. You were a few drinks in, already feeling the effects of the alcohol. You’d always been a light-weight, and after one more drink you’d be fully drunk.

It didn’t take long to reach this point, and then you were stumbling across the sand towards JJ, calling his name in a slurred voice as you sloshed your half-filled cup.

“JJ! JJ! Heyyy.” You grabbed his arm when you reached him, stumbling a little as you lost your balance. He reached out to steady you, and you giggled ridiculously. “Can I have more?” you slurred, still swaying on your feet. “I wanna taste the clouds.”

JJ smiled, taking your cup from you and setting it down. “I don’t think so, princess. One more drink and you’d be on another planet.”

“Ooh! Which one? Mars? I always liked Jupiter.” Attempting to grab your cup off the sand, you felt yourself falling and scrambled to stay up. Luckily JJ’s strong arms grabbed you before you face-planted, and you laughed into his chest. “Sorry ‘bout that. I’m an...unbalanced drunk.”

He grinned, nodding at your explanation. “Makes sense. How are you liking your first beach party, anyway?”

“It’s so fun!” you said too loudly. “Everyone is so nice, even the snobs that Sarah introduced me to. If they loosened their buttons a little I think they’d be tolerable.” JJ laughed at your drunken retelling, taking a swig of beer. He looked a bit drunk himself, but way less than you. JJ knew how to handle his alcohol, whereas you were a stuttering, stumbling mess.

A thought crossed your mind, and you tapped him repeatedly on the chest. “JJ, JJ, JJ,” you repeated, until he grabbed your hand and exclaimed, “What?!”

“You know what would make this even better?” you asked, meeting his shining blue eyes. “A swim.”

Immediately he snorted at your proposition, crossing his arms. “Right now? It’s pitch-black out and the water’s probably cold.”

You shrugged your shoulders, unaffected by his protest. “So what? The surf looks so calm and serene, I just want to float, you know?” Without waiting for his answer, you whipped your shirt off and unbuttoned your shirts.

“Whoa whoa whoa,” JJ said, putting his hands up. “What is it with you and random stripping? Not that I’m complaining, but--”

Pulling your shorts off and standing only in your bathing suit, you put your hands on your hips and pretended to pout. The sight made JJ’s eyes flash, and he licked his lips.

“Look, I’m swimming. Join me if you want.” Before the last word left your lips JJ had practically torn off his shirt and kicked off his boots. His shorts hung low on his hips, and in the moonlight his defined abs shone like chiseled marble. Biting your lip, you turned quickly and skipped down the shore.

Dark black waves lapped gently at the sand, and when you dipped a toe in you felt the cold temperature and flinched. But a little cold wouldn’t stop you, and as JJ came up behind you you began wading into the water.

“Holy shit!” JJ exclaimed, the sound of splashing indicating he had jumped upon contact with the frigid water. “You really want to cross hypothermia off your bucket list?”

“Just for a few minutes,” you swore, heading deeper and deeper until the water reached your shoulders. It was definitely cold, and froze the blood in your veins until your heart thumped in your chest. But it was also weirdly exhilarating, and you let out a crazed laugh before dunking your head fully under the water.

“You’re absolutely crazy!” JJ cried, shivering visibly as he tried to keep up with you. Since he was taller less of him was submerged, so you splashed water at his exposed chest. “Hey!” he protested, but there was a grin on his face. You leaned back to float, spreading your arms out as you gazed at the star-filled night sky.

“Isn’t this so beautiful?” you murmured, treading water softly to stay afloat. JJ followed your gaze to the sky, expression unconvinced before glancing back at you.

“You’re so drunk, anything would be beautiful.” As he said this, his eyes glazed over slightly as they traced your face. Not noticing, you sighed blissfully.

A few minutes of silence passed, before JJ spoke. “Alright, Y/N, truth time. I hardly know anything about you and we’re damn near best friends.”

You frowned. “You know plenty about me, what are you talking about?”

He rolled his eyes. “I know stupid things, like you prefer sunrises over sunsets, you hate every kind of seafood except shrimp, and your favorite color is orange. I want to know the deep stuff.” He wiggled his eyebrows for emphasis.

You furrowed your brows. “When did I tell you my favorite color?”

“You didn’t, or at least not specifically. One morning you dragged us out to the beach at like, 5 am in the morning just so we could see the sunrise. When the sun had just broken over the water, you pointed to the clouds and said that that was your favorite color in the whole world, that muted, pale orange.”

If you weren’t so drunk JJ’s words would’ve touched your heart. They were so personal, and no one had ever paid attention to you like that before. But because the alcohol made your brain fuzzy, you just laughed and nodded. “That was a good day.”

A gentle splash hit your face, and JJ said, “Come on, this is a safe space. Open up to your best friend JJ.”

“Fine,” you countered, wondering where to start. You knew the only reason you were opening up was because of how drunk you were. But you also knew it would be nice to actually tell someone about yourself, after keeping it bottled up for so long. “Well, you know I live with my mom. I don’t have a dad.” You paused, but JJ was silent. “Well, I have a dad, obviously, child-making process and all that. But he left when I was nine.” You said the words simply, matter-of-factly. Truthfully, you hadn’t thought about your dad in a long time. “Which actually kind of sucks. That he left when I was nine, I mean. When you’re really young and your dad leaves, it’s fine because you can’t remember him. But I knew my dad. He was the guy that made really good waffles on Sundays and picked me up from school sometimes. So when he left...well, I couldn’t just act like he never existed.”

JJ’s only reaction was to blink slowly, gaze trained on your face. His normal light-hearted smirk was softened slightly into a more serious expression.

His comforting gaze made you feel like you could say anything right now, so you continued. “Anyway, my mom never really got over it. I think she wishes she could’ve gone after him, chased after the love of her life, you know? But because she had me to deal with, she couldn’t. I feel like she hates me a little bit.”

"No way, she can’t hate you,” JJ responded firmly.

“How do you know?” It was more of a rhetorical question, but JJ answered anyway.

“Because it’s impossible for anyone to hate you.” You were lightly stunned at his honest reply, and faltered a bit in the water. But he said nothing more to ease the sudden tension, making your mouth dry up.

Uncomfortable with the silence, you joked, “So how’s that for opening up, huh best friend?”

This brought a big smile to his lips, and he looked at you closely before saying, “Wonderful job. I feel closer to you than ever.”

Smiling, you still weren’t thinking straight you were so drunk. Stupidly, you said, “Hey, I guess we have more in common than I thought; we both have daddy issues!”

You knew it was the wrong thing to say when his smile immediately dropped. JJ’s dad was a sore subject that he hardly ever brought up. You knew the basics that Kiara had filled you in on; that his dad hit him, oftentimes a lot more than just a simple punch. You knew whenever you saw JJ with a busted lip or black eye that it was his old man’s doing. This joke was insensitive and way too overbearing, and you regretted it as soon as you said it.

But JJ didn’t make you feel bad for it, instead plastered on a smile and nodded. “Got that right, Y/L/N.” You swam in the water for a few more minutes, until you announced even you were getting a little chilly, and you made your way back to shore.

Teeth chattering, you hugged yourself tightly as you rejoined the group. Thankfully there were a few blankets that JJ and you gladly wrapped around yourselves, slowly warming up after the frigid swim.

“Having fun, Y/N?” John B. asked as he walked over to you. You nodded, accepting the drink he offered you even though you knew you didn’t need it. Anything to dull the awkwardness that just happened with JJ. Taking a huge sip of the alcohol, you felt it burn down your throat.

“This girl is crazy,” JJ announced. “Thinks swimming at this hour is fun.”

John B. grinned, giving you a high-five. “You make JJ seem like a stick in the mud, Y/N! Way to go.”

You smiled, and felt JJ’s eyes on you as he scoffed in mock offense. You met his gaze, and he was watching you with a challenging expression. But there was also something else there, something you usually pushed him away for. Tonight, though, with too much alcohol in your system and your guard completely down, you wouldn’t be opposed to a little Pogue-on-Pogue macking for once.

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