jkaresearch

[jkaresearch]

I have to care about something important for me to do well on itZ

I need purpose.

I have been rethinking my path.

For a long time, grad school was my focus and since that didn’t really pull through, i gotta restructure myself

Ate is moving out, and my mom is out. Everyone i doing their own thing and I feel like I’m being left behind. Ive always heels ok bc my sister is here, e have never been apart before. And my mommy is still here. But once she leaves, i know i will feel like a freeloader and an outsider with the Albano famil an i will have to figure out my way out.

It’s scary because I’m growing up and i have to face it. I have to mature.

Ive been following my passion this whole time but reality is catching up to me and i have to prepare myself.

I got myself time with the scenic painting job. I’m gonna do that for this summer, but i think i will have to get a full time job after this

I remember i gave myself a window to pursue what i wanted after i graduated i interned at PES, artist assistance. But these are all freelance jobs and its not stable. I didnt have a job for like 3 months because of grad school apps and jobs doesnt always pop out of nowhere. I just got lucky bc i know so many people. I keep getting freelance job portunites thats why I’m till here. I think I’m gonna keep at it till after this year or after the scenic painting job.

But i already started applying to graphic design jobs etc. of course its super hard and challenging to actually land an interview and get the job. But I’m trying

I think I’ll open myself up to graphic design opportunities or scenic job opportunities i can make art fo tv and film. At that sounds fun . But tbh tech is where the money at, and i have to be realistic and open ymyself up to that.

So thats the plan.

—

I guess by biggest concern is my mental health. I think the only reason why ive been able to be so happy and heathy bc i am doing what i love.

But ive gone through an office job before and it sucks. I’m scared to be in that loop and have an unfulfilling life.

—

I’m kinda sad because I know my art jobs jobs are coming to a close. I can feel it.

I gave myself a window and i feel like it is closing.

Ive worked with mot of the people at PES, how’s many people can i go through and assist for. Thats how i felt the first time around, i felt like I ran through PES already and milked it. I feel like itt’llbe hard to top Damien and Lenny after this one.

But its ok. Things end. But i ill always be so proud of myself for pursuing the arts.

Maybe thats it. I will need a gd job to fund my arts. A lot of peoplee do that anyway

But no matter what i do. I will always be an artist.

-

So thats my options:

-graphic design

-scenic painting

-film/tv effects

-grad school.

But thats whata exciting! I have a lot of options!! I can do anything as long as its creative and i believe i will do well in it!

[jkaresearch]

Art assistance = caregiving

I dont know why but i was thinking alot about care giving

I have. New art asisstance job and this time its more one on one than a big production like Lenny.

And i was thinking about how i am doing more than making the rat. I keep them company, we have meaningful conversationss and i am having real genuine human nnections

I approach everything with gentleness, compassion nd kindness. And I extend that to the artist i work for

I problem solve. I organize, i clean, i create, i make, i create a safe environment where they trust me. I am honest with my work, and i work hard

-

I love making the work, the craftsmanship, skillsets and the act of making art.

I love being a part of the process. I love how my hands is a part of the creation.

I love being a part of something important and creating culture and history.

—

I think alot about how most Filipinos are nurses. I think its our innate nature of being care giver. We are motherly and hospitable. We care an we give comfort. It’s natural to us and it comes out in everything we do.

Obviously i dont save lives, but i am also a healer and a natural helper.

I think about my mom as. Nanny/caregiver. I think about the women in my life who does this on a daily

We used to have our own nanny in the Philippines but in America she has to become one in order to survive.

I never really had shame thats he had to do that i understood that she had to do what she had to do. Also she never bowed shame in what’s he is doing, ive always seen her proud as to what she is doing. She runs the house. Without her they would not function.

I think about how she sacrificed and abandoned her own children and had to take care of other peoples children in order to have the aMercian dream. We never got out of that loophole. She never came home. I guess as a little girl i was waiting for the day when she would come home an tend to us instead but that never happened. I guess thats the reality of an American dream.

I think about how i m in their place now. I would always joke about how i would just nanny too to get many bc he earns alot. And she would always be like, dont because the reason why i brought u here so that you can have a better future and have a professional job.

And nw i see held doing what she is doing. I dont know why i am so convinced that art assitance is care giving, but it sure feels that way. That kiss hw much i put into othe job. I’m really serious into what i am doing and i really care about the people i work with. I go above and beyond.

I think my approach to the job is never just art making, I also build a relationship with these people and really try to change their lives- maybe through doing the work or through organization etc

I fin it so interesting how i never reallly had this epiphany before till now. But i feel so strongly about it. I feel so connected ot that word.

——

I really are about the job.

I could be doing their things but i am doing this.

It’s hard its not permanent and not stable

Sometimes i jump from me job to another just to make ends meet.

Alto of times i also end up with no jobs because one freelance job ended.

But I continue to pursue this type of work because i think i do well in it and i see how much i can touch peoples lives through it

I work well one on one. I work well alone and also in teams but i work well with thing i am passionate about I have to care about wat i am doing for me to put effort in it.

I take pride in what i do. I am proud that i made it here. I made this for myself. Got myself here by connecting with artists and being determined and offering my help and services.

I’m proud because i give my all and i found my niche. I know this is probably not gonna be forever but i know that this is a meaningful part of my life.

I also listen to th universe there must be a reason why i keep getting these types of jobs.

—-

But yea that’s all.

I’m proud of myself because I am chasing my dream. I am pursuing my passion and I am doing the bet i can it’s what i got.

Not a lot of people can go this route, but i did and i am doing well for myself. The fact that i was able to get so many opportunities on my own is insane. That is something to be proud of.

I’m proud of myself for following my heart and what I think is the best for me. For doing hat makes me happy. And ffor being so hard working and putting my heart into what i do.

[jkaresearch]

Studio visit w nadia

Notes:

Fix up portfolio

-zine- why zine

Open up

**you dont have to show everything-

—- some are process

*** distracying

Immigrant/ overshare- justify/

Coexisting— landscapes where from-

Projection- alignted

Photos

Look at shadows—— wire

Write-**** color of projection-

[jkaresearch]

Why in threes

- me momma ate

-

Momma mommy tita

Me tita ate

Ph usa in between

[jkaresearch]

Notes from lenny:

Elizabeth

Grants- go big-

Ideas-

*environment*

Instillation

Say that you want to go big

Push the work

Digital/vr/

-moves when you move

Projection

Inflatables

Digital

Ceramics

Wood

Clay

Acrylic

Felt-

Paper

*cut outs*

Foam

Cardboard

Childrens play table

Childrens book

Coloring book

Pop up book

Childrens toys

Velcro

Stickers

Decals

Transparent-

Plastics

Cellophane

Animation

Stamps

Molds

Stencils

Zine

Kaleidoscope

Telescope

Import words

-layers

Animation

*make tools

*****

World making

Characters=forms

Emotional landscapes

*dreamscape*

Immersive expreience

[jkaresearch]

Resesrch shapes-

Cloud-

* give viewer of own interpretatikn of shapes

* Or viewer be influenced of ur shpaes-

Presearpes shapes and patterns——

****** colors********

Childhood - PH/USA

*** not craft- art

Alexander carter

[jkaresearch]

Conceptual framework-

- markmaking, memory,

content- whats in the work

- painting

Form

- structure

- Presentstion- sculpute, wall,

- - wall cinematic/

- Floor- shadowbax,

- Instillation

- On wall

—-

Why grad school?

-teaching-kids

-color relationship- anoka faroquee -color/abstraction- intuitive->understanding?

-graphic design

Statement of purpose

-background- lineage, family, immigrant-

-what ur doing now-> how does thatcconnect to the work?

Quick, broad, lyrical strokes,- the subconscious, brught flowry-

——stagnant? Elevate-

-what is missing- where are u going

-why the school??

- teach?

[jkaresearch]

Studio v with shoshanna n damien

Visual language-

Alphabet-

Grid

Backgrouds

Transparency

- tracing paper- tracing history-

-

David hammons

Sam gilliam

Meg lipsy

**animations

Place, longing, childhood memoer,

Kara walker,

_____

Alexander colder

-environment- worldmaking

Safe place to make work-

[jkaresearch]

Studio visit w damien davis

- he said he can see my work in scale- something you can carry

- keep the freedom for composition- interchangability

- a library of forms- just get a form and make a composition

- keep making forms-

-

[jkaresearch]

Colors and materials!!!!

Recently I have purchased a bunch of art materials I can experiment with. I bought 56 color gouaches, 60+ gel pens, almost a 100 gel crayons and alot more markers. Now I have 2 tubs full of just markers and crayons. It may be extreme lol but it’s worth it. I got these materials on deals so it’s not too bad. 

I need the most variety of colors they have especially if it is unmixable like pens, colored pencils etc. Color is what really brings me along with an artwork so I think this is worth investing in. 

I don’t typically mixed colors with my paint, just little hints of the most similar shade but that’s about it. Maybe because this is because of the speed to which I work at but it may also be because I have such a range of colors that I dont even need to mix anymore. 

Professors often say to never use paint out of the tube, but being the rebel that I am, that is exactly what I do lol. I dont know really what to do with it. And as a person who feels strongly about colors, i sometimes think I lack imagination when it comes to it since I cant really think of a color right off my head. I think its what I do with it that matters rather than being able to make it appear out of nowhere. 

I now understand why people say to always mix paint because I have different color palettes with every set and that shows in my work lol.

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MATERIALS

Gel crayon:

This is a new material I just discovered. Gel crayons are not a traditional art material. These are essentially washable crayons made for kids. Instead of the waxy crayons that can stain your carpet, floors and walls, they invented gel crayons that can easily be erased.

Gel crayons remind me of oil pastels but are easier to work with. They don’t smudge and they dry fast. Gel crayons are usually water soluble so that means you can treat this like watercolor sticks and dilute it with water for a different effect.

Gel crayons of course are reminiscent of regular crayons in my childhood. My favorite memory with my cousins is when we would color books together, this is where I fell in love with art with my 120 box of cryaons. It’s fun, playful and easy to use.

Colored pen:

A friend gave me glitter pens for Christmas after he asked me a year ago what’s the best gift I’ve ever had and I said “painting materials”. I really appreciated this gift because he really cared about what I actually wanted. Those painting materials were given to me by my aunt and my uncle, and its actually the worst quality of acrylic paint in the world. It was goopy and gooey, they wont squirt out of the bottle properly because they are too chunky. Even though I never really got to use it much, This is the best gift I’ve had because its a sign that they supported me in my passion and dreams in life.

In my childhood, my mom bought us a huge pen set from America when I was in the Philippines. This was the most amazing thing I have ever seen, ive never seen a set like that in the Philippines. I used these pens everyday for my journals.

Although I didn’t like the glitter effect on my artwork, these pens are what opted to explore the work I am doing now. I explored and swatched these pens on a sketchbook and I never stopped.

Colored pencil:

Colored pencils are new materials I just started experimenting with. When I started exploring with mixed media, I just needed a variety of colors in different sizes. I like the delicacy and softness it offers in my paintings.

Gouache:

I’ve been trying to work with watercolor for when I travel but I find myself having a hard time controlling it. I have a hard time controlling the water and my paper ends up being soaking wet every time.

Playing with gouache made me learn more about watercolor than watercolor ever did. I liked the opacity Gouache offers since its basically watercolor but mixed with white undertones. I like the range of colors that gouache offers, it fits my style alot better.

But I learned how to accept the material rather than fight it. I encourage pooling of water and letting it dry. I try working with materials while the water is still wet, and comparing it to when it is dry.

Chalk pastel:

Chalk pastels has always intrigued me because of the color payoff. Its not like any other material that is dulled out by its binding solvent like acrylic etc. I think it is closest to its pigment and has the best color outcome.

I love working with pastels because its close as one would use charcoal in which is the first way our ancestors would make art inside the caves. I like feeling the powder on my hands as I would glide the chalk on to the paper.

Chalk is also something very present in my childhood. My cousins and I would draw on the concrete ground and play hopscotch. At times it just drawings and our names on the ground with little flowers around it.

Chalk brings out that playful side of me. I feel like since the colors that come in chalk pastel boxes are so vibrant and vivid that it is electrifying.

The only challenging thing about chalk is that it smudges easily so you have to spray it with charcoal everytime. Make sure you have the right distance away from the paper so you wont drench the paper and dull out the pigment.

Oil pastel:

Oil pastels are very fun for me. It’s the first material I tried to venture out with this summer and I have great memories with this one. My friends and I would go to the park or the beach and I would bring my watercolors and my big box of oil pastels and we would paint together. I love my friends because they would always paint with me since they know how much I love painting, its such a cute bonding experience.

I believe oil pastels or oil paints are created for plein air artists since they needed something that can be easily set up and used. This applies to me with oil pastels because I associate this with the summer time. I find it hard to use this in the winter seasons because I know I will have to spray them with fixative afterwards and that is hard to do outdoors during the winter.

Oil pastels are fun and experimentative for me. Since I’m not familiar with oil paint, this is as close as I can get without all the chemicals and potions lol. I love the rich and buttery texture I can achieve with it as well as the variety of colors it offers.

Acrylic:

Acrylic paint is what made me fell inlove with painting. I love its viscosity, its flexibility and its range. Acrylic paint gives me room for exploration with other mediums since it dries fast. I like its range and how it can act like watercolor is water is added, and oil with certain mediums.

[jkaresearch]

[jkaresearch]

As a painter during the COVID-19 Pandemic, my body of work shifted as I moved ontoAs a painter during the COVID-19 Pandemic, Art has helped me express and navigate through my unpredictable emotions during quarantine. My body of work shifted as I moved onto an online school setting. Without access to a studio space, I found myself establishing a working space on the floor in my small room. 

Given the intimacy that my bedroom provided, this reflected on my work as I make a series of small 4x6 paintings that act as photographs. I am a sentimental person and I put up pictures of my friends and family around my walls. Since the pandemic started I have stayed at home for a full year now, not being able to go out and create new memories with loved ones. I spent my time in my room painting on 4x6 paper that act as the new memories I created in 2020. 

This year, I found myself with empty planners and journals, repurposing them into art books for my fast paintings. I see them as photo albums of paintings, as well as a filled up planner journal of plans that was never made. 

This series of work is made as a result of isolation, reflection, perseverance and the hope that things will get better eventually.

[jkaresearch]

nature/flowers

Healing

Feminine

Intuitive

self-love/self healing/self discovery

Fantasy

environment/landscape

markmaking

Immigration

American experience

Displacement

Memories/ home

Trauma

Erasure

Escapism

2 places at once: PH/USA

Creating safe places

Recreate my own world

[jkaresearch]

I made a mark each day for this week.

My sketches are usually quick and automatic. At times I experiment and I dont even look at what im grabbing and I end up with a random color/material in my process. It is such an exciting process for me because i release all mt energy onto my sketchbook.

I want to be more intentional with bc my mark marking. Although fast can be good, exploring a slow pace is also very important so I can make intentional decisions in my work.

What I see in my art:

Memories

Small paintings= like photographs that can bring me back to a moment/feeling

PHILIPPINES

childhood memories

Past, present and future

Present 

But also the future? Not necessarily always referencing the past

Future in a sense that this is what I want to end up with (a goal? A feeling?)

More like taking my experiences from my past and carrying them with my to the future

Dream like memories

Places I would like to go to

Places that exist in my head/imagination

My place away from home

My safe space/sanctuary/paradise

My landscapes

Are more like places in my imagination

I see it more like feelings and emotions i like to feel

Its like a photograph that you can revisit and 

Femininity

Feminine energy

Maternal energy

Mom, sis, aunt, grandma- everyone who raised me

Pastel colors

Crafts

Sewing

Embroidery

Flowers

Glitter 

Christianity

My faith/ religion

Light

Makes me feel happy, light, 

Colors

Yellow

Orange

Pink

Green

Purple

Nature

Flower

Butterfly

Sun

sky

Mixed media

Embroidery

Sewing

Fabric

Thread

Collage

Glitter

Beads

Sequins

Dried flowers

INTUITIVE PAINTING

Impressionism

Expressive 

Gestural

Feelings:

Happy

Encouragement

Hope

Light

Optimism

Positive

Faith

Sanctuary

Security

Safe

Hiding place

Escape

Words associated

Dreamy 

Magical

Whimsical

Environment:

To advocate for the preservation of mother nature

Give awareness for climate change etc

[jkaresearch]

"I am exploring feelings, and nature in my work. I will express these ideas through working with Painting (Mixed Media) as The artwork of Joan Mitchell and Claude Monet explores similar ideas, and I'm interested in the way this artist does Abstract Expressionism and Impressionism I'm also interested in the artwork of Henri Matisse and Hilda Af Klint and I'm attracted to the way this artist does their brush work,cut outs and the manipulation/control of their materials. I am interested in creating an environment where people can feel happy, freeing and humbling.

[jkaresearch]

Im making stickers!!!

Lately i have been making a series of littls things- like cards, small papers, business cards, and i have been making stickers!

This sticker page is a blank page so u can literally draw on it. I think its so special because i love something you can stack and rearrange and something to play with. Its almost ljke pogs!

I like being able to shuffle them, flip through them, flip them upside down. It makes art that is compact, you can travel with and something that can be used in your day to day life.

I like being able to stick art into things. I would walk around NYC and put mt stickers everywhere. Thats probably illegal but its cool af!!

-

I also use this stickers to i can give them out to people. I can make it very fast, so its cool to give away to people. And its special bc its actual paint. I actually made them.

I love how people close to me would put these on their laptops, water bottles, and they would keep it safe and sound. I find it so cure watching people shuffle though them and move them around and set their favorite ones to the side. And they would be so careful with their tint stickers they would almost cradle it to their bags.

I also love finding surprises and finding my stickers on their objects randomly. Its like they carry a piece of me with them everywhere they go.

I wonder about the people who actually keep them. I dont know where they put it, or do they just keep it in their stack like i do? Its so interesting ro see what people do with it

[jkaresearch]