jonitaxavier

[jonitaxavier]

Here is my review on Gaura by Kayashastra. You can check it out @Kayashastra. It’s a good buy. I am happy. #luxurybeauty #nosoapchallenge #allnatural #allnaturalbodycare @thefabbag #vlog #ayurvedicbeauty https://www.instagram.com/p/Bng4XTzAUei/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=15l9etmaunb4j

[jonitaxavier]

I bought Gaura from Kayashastra. Why did I buy it? It is run by two sisters, #girlpower. Also it is organic. Hope it as good as it claims, I will review it as soon as I use it. #kayashastra #luxurybeauty #ayurvedicbeauty #organicproducts #vlogbeauty @kayashastra https://www.instagram.com/p/BngGCRGgxgF/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=xqywmi2qel3m

[jonitaxavier]

“You look as if you are doing something with that guy” - Reuban.. #oneplusandstarwars (at KTPO Trade Centre)

[jonitaxavier]

Is it Democracy or Demo- Crazy

Is it Democracy or Demo- Crazy?

We live in a land filled with heritage and culture, so they told. We are proud to live in a democratic country, for democracy gives freedom, so they told. This is our land, so they told. This is not your land, so they told. So who are we? Indians? Hindus? Muslims? Christians? HUMANS?

Dear Reader, I a humble soul , if you would let me call myself one, write this to you, not with anger, not with sadness, not with satisfaction, but in a dilemma. A dilemma of where do I belong in this mainstream land of culture, heritage, brotherhood, love and compassion. Now my dear Reader, please clarify this doubt I have: What is Democracy? According to the ‘go to’ cite of our mainstream population;Wikipedia: Democracy is a form of government in which power ultimately comes from the people who are governed, whether through direct voting or through elected representatives. So is democracy just the right to vote? It’s hilarious of me to remember of a wonderful quote fromAravindAdiga’sWhite Tiger : I am India’s most faithful voter, and i still have not seen the inside of a voting booth. A very sad reality indeed!

You tell me, yes I am talking to you Dear Reader, Have you voted faithfully from the age of 18? Or have you felt this is the one holiday I get to relax? You might wonder I am straying away from the point. But I am not. I am just merely pointing to you how much we value the idea of democracy.

I have known a very strong woman in my life. I would like to call her my guide to life. She once explained to me the meaning of the word democracy. She said Democracy is when you give the democracy to a person to even oppose the whole idea of democracy, because that is his or her democracy. Sounds wicked crazy does it not?  

You tell me Dear Reader, is it even possible for us to give that space to a fellow human being? Sounds hilarious right? I thought so too... today when a person is questioned to hold his own identity, how can it be possible? The other day I read in Face book that some farmer was converted by force to a particular religion. Who knows in a few days we might come under Totalitarian regime too... But let’s not get into that.

I will tell you a funny story, but don’t worry I will also include myself as one among the butt of the story. There once was a girl who was raped in a bus in a particular highway. A few guys were responsible for it. Do you want to know the reason behind the rape? That’s the funniest part of the story. The reason is that she being a girl came out of her house after sun set and that too with a boy. OMG can you even believe that audacity of that girl. First of being a girl she went and educated herself, did she stop there she went to a movie with her friend. And do you know the friend was a guy. How can a girl have a guy friend? Isn’t that against our culture? Our culture is the best culture; in our culture there is no place for a woman – you see. And a seventeen and half year old boy wanted to teach her a lesson, because he thought gang rape was not enough, so he put his hand inside her vagina and pulled out her intestine and threw it out to the crows. Good for the boy he has taught her a lesson. There was even a lawyer to defend these men. (How sweet of the lawyer to do such a social service). And the name of the Seventeen and a half year old was never revealed. Why? Because he was a kid you see? What will a kid know, we shouldn’t punish him. Let us talk about the people who saw her lying down there in a critical stage. What did they do (probably took selfies with her) they ran from that place because they did not want trouble.

Was that story nice? I see you have enjoyed yourself. Okay, I will tell you another story. This happened somewhere in the south. Here happened an arranged marriage. A very loving couple. The husband used to feed the wife and carry her around and keep her like a princess. The couple together decided that they will not have a child for a few years. But Fate is cruel. The girl conceived with a child, and that too a girl child. What a big sin did this woman do, OMG! She was told not to conceive and she gave him a girl. The poor guy what can he do, he took the child and dropped it in a well and locked the well and went. Dear Reader he is still an ideal man, he was a loving husband, what can he do with this pressure? He even warned his wife not to conceive. It is her fault.

Enough with stories I must tell you about an interview I heard somewhere. Now a days we can’t be specific of our sources, people might ban anything and everything. So let us keep a low profile. Well in this interview a convict of rape, said he has had sex only once in his village with a prostitute. But the sex worker is good because she didn’t allow him to kiss her mouth. Who will allow a man to kiss a woman’s lips, only sluts will. Am I correct my dear Reader? So young woman who kiss their boyfriends are ...Yes you found the answer --only sluts.

Reminds me of something a sixteen year old girl told me. Apparently she read it in Facebook. Where will we be if not for social networking cites. Anyways the thing that this certain young woman told me was this: If a girl has many guy friends she is a slut,

                                  But If a guy has many girl friends he is a stud.

Funny is it not? But this is true as well. May be a girl is really a second class citizen? Or a third rated human. She should not have any carnal desires. She should be the pathi, the devi , then we will worship you, or at least act. But if you show any signs of being human, you will not be pushed to the fringe but pushed aboard.

Dear Reader I must tell you about something that I came across today. I want your opinion on it. Let us say a boy cheats on a girl, Who is at fault? Be practical in your answer. Will you say it is the girls fault for not knowing how to keep the guy in track or will you say the guy is at fault? Or perhaps you might say the guy is a ‘stud’. Just linger on this question. Now I am going to impose you with another question, if it was the girl who cheated. I am not sure if I should use the word cheated. For convenience I am using the word. So who is at fault? Is the girls? Or did the guy not know how to manage the girl? Ponder on these two questions for a while.

Did you come a conclusion? Now tell me is it the guy or the girls right to spoil the other person’s life. Revenge is obviously best when served cold. But if we pick up the instrument called revenge in our hands, what is love? Is it just Carnal or Spiritual as people portray?  Forget Love , what is democracy?

Our culture is the best culture; in our culture there is no place for women

Is it Democracy or demo- crazy?

  �q02;�

[jonitaxavier]

I am Happy You did not Cheat

"I am happy you did  not cheat"

A break up would have been better,

Thought no one knew me better,

A simple "I know you" would have made my day,

Sarcasm has its own way.

I cried and cried till i passed  and lay,

All you had to say,

Was that you never meant it, who will pay

I did.If the world had said that 

I would have managed , with glitters

But you my love, this is not flatter,

Be happy I did not cheat;

Yet you have made death proud with your heat.

[jonitaxavier]

Well this is my thought...

More than happiness , sadness makes us linger over it again and again , may be that wisdom makes them more beautiful , like beauty in melancholia.. :)

Beauty

And I couldn’t help notice that sad people are infinitely more beautiful than happy ones. What a ridiculous thought, to think that people are more beautiful at one time, than other. But really, people are throughly more wonderful when they are themselves - when they think nobody is watching, stop faking a smile, and let it fall, like their spirits.

[jonitaxavier]

15:09

You were so bright and alive and charming, and I was so desperate to be saved, to be something, anything, to anyone, and you knew that, you used that, playing with my little heart, watching it spark, telling me lies, to get me to spend the night, you left in the morning light, I woke up alone and cried

[jonitaxavier]

What beautiful insight.In love with this poem

when it is late and you are aching, all alone in a semi-conscious state, you reach out tired fingers to coax from darkness hips and breasts and bones. remember the colour of my small intestines as you curl your hands in helpless fists, and slip into dreams of rabid dogs and popsicles that drip.

[jonitaxavier]

The Big Eyed Beast

Dogs Dogs Dogs...

Poor little beings,

Just like you and me!

They bark and howl.

With big round eyes,

They ask for pampering love.

In the street some are,

wagging their tails;

With hungry empty bowls.

"They have a right to live,

Don't kill them,

They do not harm you;

With their big round eyes.

Feed them if you can ;

But do not hurt them"

Says people from The Cross...

Yet the other day,

When Dawn rises;

The beast ate a three year old,

Sleeping peacefully;

Her poverty gave her a bed,

On a platform.

In pieces she was torn,

Blood oozing out.

Her parents in tears,

Helpless as they were, as

About Thirty beasts,

Wagging their tails.

In anger and desperation;

Her parents and others

Killed those big eyed beasts.

But for what?

The Cross, to blame them,

For killing these Harmless Beasts,

And appoint a sentry to guard

The Poor Hungry Beast. 

[jonitaxavier]

My Hurt Journal

Ok I am angry. I am fuming inside. I know it hurts, but what I do not know is, if this is anger or if I am sad? But I do feel my eyes getting hot. Tears are fighting my eye lids. I try hard not to show my emotions, and I have no clue on to whom I should talk to. My heart weighs, and I just can’t take this fire. I wish that all this never started but it did.

I have two best friend, lets name them Heidi and Sheldon (made up name, mind you), I valued both of them. Guess they never understood the impact they had on me. No one can live the life of another. That is not possible. Now I am going to tell the tale of how my two best friends who strayed away.

Heidi was a school mate. I won’t tell she is perfect. But let us face it, I am not perfect either; Nobody is. Well when I met her,  she was this crazy person, sitting in the first bench, who always checked her watch during Economics class. I never liked my Economics teacher, not many did and so did she. She was this unmarried female who showed all her misery on her students. Any ways back to Heidi, she had a fight with her friend, who apparently blamed her to have an affair with her(the friend's) brother; which was never true. For, she had a crush with her cousin,Which no one knew.

            Heidi and I became close only during the last month of high school. From that time since we have shared almost everything. From food to checking out guys. We were thick as twins. Heidi started to share a sisterly bond with me. And I loved to share things with her because I knew how much she cared about me. I started to feel confident that someone is at my back.

But all good things come to an end will it not. She had a life and I had mine. She did not like my new friends and advised me to stop talking with them. But by then I found myself home with them. I found that I could be myself with them. And I found genuine care. I can understand her anger. She was losing me and she thought they were bad company.

But I never listened; I tried to bring her close with my new circle. But she moved away. I tried binding our relationship, but by then she was far gone. But even now in my heart she is my sister. But even though she is my sister she cannot rule my life can she?. So I gave her, her personal space. And here I am moaning about her absence in my life.

This new circle of friends is where I met Sheldon. Sheldon had a similar wave length as me. Both of us loved music, we loved literature and we loved to talk gibberish, but for us it was brilliant theories. We immediately became so close, and again I saw a sisterly bond in him. He was also like Heidi to me.

We spoke of things alien and personal. We spoke of far and near. I loved him just as I loved Heidi. And I am pretty sure he loved me as a little sister too. Though he was younger than me I prefer to be the younger one. Well we always had our time online, for we did not get much opportunity to meet up, as I was introduced to Sheldon only at the end of my last semester in college.

Sheldon was never the guy who spoke to people in reality; he was always the virtual person. However we spoke of things like crushes he had and what I had. Music advice, He crazily loved Avenged sevenfold. I  was crazily disturbed by it. Boy it was funny “eat it eat it” the song went on and on about eating a live human heart. Strangely enough I started to like the song, by  the time I was into the song he came out of it. For he was very very spiritual. He loved God so much that he gave away with his love for this genre of music. Me on the other hand was and is a very different person. I am spiritual but never religious, I never liked to show it out. And if I like something, even if it is crazy I do it. But he changed and I admire that in him.

But now where is that Sheldon. I lost a friend to whom I could go speak. Now I am scared to use any words to him with a fear that I might offend him. In fact I did offend him. I “confronted” with him and he responded, not to me but virtually,

“I think i should get this straight.....I don't know who started it but it is funny and hurtful to hear...I never cut back..Was quite surprised when i was "confronted" with the issue...Joni, I really doubt that you understood what i meant...However i should admit that i have indeed pulled the reins back a bit....It has nothing to do with you guys...And also i hate to be goofing around all the time..i believe in balance....If friends are just to Kid around well i got plenty of 'em..You really won't believe my ability to make friends....I'm surprised too....I think i should also confess that your "sheldon has Changed Antics" crossed the line big time and it's made me hate it....I hope you are aware that the reason i loath Tamil is cuz the tamil teachers racially abused me...Hope you can connect the dots...And hey sorry if i sound all matter of fact and all that....It's a new thing i learned....Btw, i don't give a damn if you hate me or dislike me for this...Frankly i don give a damn....But i can assure you'll be loved all the same as i used to.....I always see you as i used to....And my not posting on ths page is that i find FB itself one lousy invention where people are "Virtual Friends" So i have not been a regular FB user though i login almost everyday...It's just for the Troll Football page, Trivia Mania pages i love....So hope this clears everything....”

Well if the world decides to change why do I cling on. Why am I always  the clown? Should I try to convince myself that the clown is the most intelligent in shakesphere? Why do I get so attached, when the world is fast moving? I am feeling lost and alone. Am I angry or am I Sad? I still do not comprehend.

[jonitaxavier]

He is not around

So far , yet so near:

His breath , i can feel, but he is not around;

His lips i can taste , but he is not around;

His fingers through my hair, but he is not around;

His fragrance tickles me, but he is not around;

His tongues traces my jaw line, but he is not around;

He is not around - I close my eyes - he is around,

A dream or a reverie, I do not know.

Only he can make me smile,

When I am about to cry.

Yet he is not around. 

[jonitaxavier]

This is such a true idea. This poem is very philosophical. I have read all your poems and I like all your ideas . Hats off sir...

Everyone wants to have the spotlight,

Do they know that all that light only shows your flaws for all to see?,

Everyone wants to be the funny one,

Do they know how much pain you have to endure to find humor?,

Everyone wants to be leader,

Do they know the burden of other people’s lives?,

...

[jonitaxavier]

Am I god

Pain ...

Shot by shot I die,

But with pleasure;

I am alive again

But you made me die again

Again I live then i die...

With pain I die,

With pleasure i resurrect.

If I resurrect , am I God?

Or is this pleasure God?

But God is divine!

I seem to be a lust monster,

Fantasy of thy hard erection of love;

Through you I reach that level

Of divinity.

So am i God?

Yes your love has made me!!

[jonitaxavier]

Writing

how should i move about writing as a profession??

[jonitaxavier]

Nelumbo singing

Nelumbo Singing

       Here I am once again, looking at my reflection and I don’t see myself. Who is this girl looking back at me I do not know! But why is she crying? I do not know. All I know now is that I can hear a pleasant song. When we shifted to this new house I spotted a bird nest. Newly wedded sparrows I guess, for they loved each other’s company so much, so in love they were that I instantly did not want to dispose them away. My new tenants they were, in a flash are parents of three. Three little sparrows singing every morning to me, I smiled without my knowledge.

      Months ago when I first entered my own room, the love birds once again attracted my attention to a dirty pond with a beautiful lotus. The lotus had a strange enigma to it. It seemed that the lotus also loved the company of these love birds; she smiled at them as gracefully as a queen would to her subjects. Now that the love birds have become parents they have stopped visiting the lotus. 

       Strangely the lotus was drying. The lotus already seemed that it never belonged there, for the pond was more of dirt than of water and the ambiance was not good either, however with all that the lotus stood up straight with pride and envy but why was it drying now. The tears the girl had, while she was looking at the mirror is replaced with doubt and eagerness. 

       Lotus is a flower that goes back down to the water at night, as if to commit suicide for all the despair she faces, yet rises back up every morning to fight back. With such pride she does that, that other flowers should envy her. Not dominate her, with their fragrance and others. For this lotus is much greater than that. She may have been abandoned, nor is in a place of despair looking at her subjects with pride. If she can be so, what am I? Am I not a Nelumbo singing an ode to life and its magnificence? If I am magnificent why did that girl cry? Or where is she anymore??

[jonitaxavier]

"If you don't fight for what you want, then don't fight for what you lost"