kinda-c0nfused - Tumblr blog

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for people who don’t know what to do in some of these situations♥️

dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak

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this is every type of wrong if you aren’t upset about this then what is wrong with you.

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Vintage Phantom of the Opera movie poster featuring the cutest version of the Phantom ever.

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so can we start hunting down white liberals now or what

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mans got jokes. not very good ones, but jokes none the less

DIN DJARIN, the comedian

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amazing 10/10 i love jack thompson and this was so well written

by your side

pairing: jack thompson x reader

summary: "you wanna go save the world with me?"

warnings: none

words: 1.9k

a/n: this is for @lovelyavengers's writing challenge, and I thought it was due today, but I'm actually a month early lol! this was such a fun story to write, and I'm not really sure how I got this story from this prompt. anyway, I hope it's not too cheesy or too rushed, and please enjoy!

oOoOo

Despite the satisfaction that came with being a skilled agent with the elite SSR, it was incredibly difficult to have a social life outside of work. While others your age may have spent their evenings being twirled around the dancehall with a beau or two or even latest film at the theaters, yours were spent surrounded by endless files and fueled by numerous cups of coffee.

By some stroke of luck, however, you had been able to meet the love of your life – Jack Thompson – within the SSR walls. Of course, that didn’t mean the two of you had it easy. It was still difficult finding time alone together, especially after Jack’s promotion to chief of the New York office. In fact, you couldn’t even find time to have your wedding – which had already been rescheduled no less than three times.

Each time you thought you were in the clear to walk down the aisle and marry Jack, something popped up that took precedence. While you loved your work and wouldn’t trade your job for the world, it was more than a little frustrating.

“Ready for this weekend?” Peggy asked you as she passed by your desk one Wednesday afternoon.

A smile stretched across your face until your cheeks hurt. In just three days’ time, you would finally become Mrs. Jack Thompson. “You know what they say, fourth times a charm.” you joked, pushing the files you had been look through aside.

“Well let’s hope for yours and Jack’s sake, that’s true.” Peggy responded. “Now, is there anything you need me to do last minute?” she questioned, easily slipping into maid-of-honor duty.

“Just get me to the end of that aisle, whatever it takes.” you told her, not completely joking.

Before she could respond, you heard the door to Jack’s office open and he poked his head out. “Carter, I need to talk to you.” he said, gesturing for her to come into his office before his eyes slid over to yours and gave you a playful wink.

Peggy squeezed your shoulders reassuringly before she disappeared into Jack’s office. Twenty minutes later, your thoughts were back on the files in front of you. So focused on cracking the case, you didn’t notice Jack’s presence until he nudged your shoulders gently.

“Sweetheart, can I talk to you?” he asked, trying not to look you in the eye.

You gave him a worried look but allowed him to take your hand and lead you to his office where Peggy stood against Jack’s desk. Sitting down in the chair, you felt your heart beat faster as Jack knelt down in front of you, squeezing your hands in his. Somewhere deep inside of you, you knew what was coming, but you still held out hope that Jack’s words weren’t about to bring your good mood crashing down.

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry, but I just got a call. They need us for a weeklong case, and we leave tomorrow.”

Tears immediately began to flood your eyes when you heard the word case, and you began to rapidly blink to keep them at bay. “Why does it have to be us?” you protested.

Jack sighed, feeling his heart break at the way you tried not to crumble. He took you in his arms and squeezed you tightly. “Direct orders from headquarters.” he whispered, rubbing his hand up and down your back as you finally let the tears out.

Maybe it was selfish, but you had given so much of your time and energy to this organization, and you and Jack couldn’t catch the smallest break? Pulling away, you felt the disappointed morph into an angry and you held back to urge to swipe everything off Jack’s desk.

“When are we going to get to put ourselves first, Jack?” you asked, voice rising with each word as you began to pace around the office. “We’ve put our blood, sweat, and tears into this agency, and we can’t get one fucking weekend to ourselves.” you all but shouted.

“Hey, I know.” Jack said, stopping you in your tracks, knowing your anger wasn’t directed at him. “Nothing would make me happier than to finally be your husband, and I hate that I can’t give that to you yet.” he said, twisting your engagement ring around your finger to calm both you and him down.

Silence washed over the room as Jack enveloped you in another hug. Peggy bit her lip as she watched the scene, only feeling as though she were slightly intruding. Jack had called her in to try and figure out a way to break the news to you, but Peggy knew there was nothing he could’ve been except honest.

“Well,” you finally said after a few minutes. “I guess we should cancel the venue and start packing.”

Just as you and Jack moved to start getting ready, Peggy gasped and stepped forward. “No one is going anywhere just yet; I have an idea!”

“Peggy –“ you started, quickly getting cut off.

“y/n, I promised you I would get you down that aisle no matter what, and I am going to do just that, even if it’s not exactly in the way you originally planned.” she declared, looking ready to take down anyone or anything that stood in her way.

Jack shook his head in confusion. “Whatta you talking about, Carter?” he asked, his arm still around you as he tried not to get his hopes up.

“I know it’s not at all what you had planned, but we could get the two of you down to city hall before the end of the day, I’ll be your witness, and by the time you head out tomorrow you’ll be hitched!” Peggy explained enthusiastically.

The idea sank in your mind and the more time that passed, the more you thought it sounded like the perfect option. Elopement hadn’t been in the cards at first, but you and Jack weren’t exactly the poster couple for doing things by the book. Turning to face your fiancé, your grin returned at the thought of being married to Jack before the day’s end.

“Let’s do it.” you said, watching Jack’s eyes for any sign of hesitation.

“This what you want, sweetheart?” he asked.

Taking a moment to compose your thoughts, you nodded. “It is. Like Peggy said, it isn’t what we originally planned, but who cares? The only thing that matters to me is that we get to be each other’s for the rest of our lives. I don’t want to spend another mission, hell, not even another day without being your wife.”

Jack nodded silently at your words, and you could tell you had won him over. “Well then, looks like we got a wedding to get ourselves to!” he said, letting out a chuckle at the beaming smile on your face.

“In that case, let’s go, y/n.” Peggy said, suddenly grabbing your hand and dragging you out of Jack’s office. “We’ve got a lot to do, and not a lot of time to do it.”

“Hey! Where are you taking my fiancée?” Jack argued with a pout.

Peggy rolled her eyes before she responded. “It’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding, and the two of you have already been together all day. Besides, we have to go get ready, while you go down to City Hall.”

Before Jack could say another word, Peggy pulled you through the SSR and back towards your apartment, both of you giddy the whole way there. Once you made it back to your apartment, Peggy sat you down and began to flutter around, quickly, yet very efficiently, styling your hair and makeup. Then, before you knew it, she was helping you slip into your white dress and zipping you up.

Smoothing out nonexistent wrinkles, Peggy smiled at you through the mirror. “Absolutely stunning, darling.” she praised, give you a side hug. “Jack won’t know what hit him when he sees you.”

Giggling, you tried to keep the tears at bay. “Peggy, I just want to say thank you. This is perfect, and you are truly the best friend I could ever have.” you admitted, beyond thankful for her support.

“Oh, stop it!” she playfully scolded, wiping away tears of her own. “You’re going to make me cry, and then the two of us will never get out of this apartment. So, let’s get you down to City Hall before your fiancé worries himself to death.” she suggested, carefully holding up your dress as to avoid on stains on the hem.

The two of you must have been a sight for sore eyes as you waited to hail a cab. But you couldn’t find it in you to care about any of the stares people were giving you. You were about to get married - besides, it was New York, they all had seen much stranger sights.

When City Hall came into sight, you felt your hands begin to shake and butterflies pound in your stomach. Once again, Peggy helped you out of the cab and inside the building where she directed you to sit down while she found Jack.

“Oh, I managed to snag these flowers on our way out of your apartment.” she said, pushing a wildflower bouquet that Jack had gotten for you a few days earlier into your hands.

A few minutes passed, and Peggy returned saying that Jack had found an open slot and was waiting with the officiant. She guided you towards the office that Jack was in and offered you one last hug before she slipped in, allowing you to make your entrance.

There was no organ playing music to signal your arrival, no hall of friends and family, not even a true aisle for you to glide down. However, the one constant that remained was Jack, standing next to the officiant, slightly nervous but with the biggest grin on his face. When your eyes met, you swore your heart skipped a beat and Jack had to blink back the tears when he saw how beautiful you looked.

Even if it wasn’t exactly the grand day you pictured, it was more perfect than you could ever imagine because Jack was holding your hands and beaming at you as though you had hung the stars in the sky. Everything else faded away because you were about to marry the love of your life.

As the officiant made his way through the standard speech for a courthouse wedding, you could only imagine the moments from here on out with Jack by your side. It might have taken a few tries, but you and Jack finally made it, and that's all you could have asked for.

“And by the power vested in me by the state of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.” the officiant declared.

He had barely gotten the words out before Jack scooped you in his arms and kissed you passionately, loosing himself for a moment as he pulled you flush against his chest. Your hands tangled in his hair and relished in the thought of finally being married to this man. It was only Peggy’s whistling and cheers that brought you back to reality.

Not long after, you and Jack were ushered out by the officiant, but nothing could stop the joy you felt that day. Standing outside the courthouse, you reached out to grasp your husband’s hand, ready to take on anything with him by your side.

“You wanna go save the world, with me Mrs. Thompson?” he asked, his voice proud and grin slightly dopey at the words.

“Nothing would make me happier, Mr. Thompson.”

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tag yourself i’m literally everyone but Nat cos i’m simply not that cool and i have no brain cells left

“every found family dynamic has…” original 6 avengers edition

(insp.)

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Why hello there mu lovr

Hello there mu lovr how are you on this fine evening

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SHE FINISHED IT YALL ITS SO GOOD😩

Specs and the Flyboy (Chapter Twenty)

Summary: With the conclusion of the Leviathan-Secret Empire case, Jack and (Y/N) prepare to make good on their long-standing promise to part ways forever. Will they finally admit their undeniable feelings for one another?

Pairing: Jack Thompson X Reader

Word Count: 6.4k

Warnings/Disclaimers: None

A/N: Ahh, we’ve made it to the final chapter and it’s a doozy! Thank you all so much for reading! I hope that you enjoy!

Chapter Twenty Stark Mansion, Los Angeles (Previous Chapter)

Jack would never admit it out loud but the months he’d spent as a guest of Howard Stark, surrounded by all the finer things in life, had completely spoiled him and as he began waking up, he wrapped his arms tight around the goose-feather pillow and burrowed deeper into the luxurious bedding with a sleepy, content sigh. Something soft began brushing along the back of his neck and he smiled at the sensation; it reminded him of when he’d woken up at the Howling Commandos’ base camp to the feeling of (Y/N)’s fingers caressing his face, the lingering pain from the torture he’d endured forgotten when he’d opened his eyes and saw the codebreaker’s beautiful smile…

Keep reading

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PLEASE-

to all the people who write long ass (i mean 4k+) fics....

PLEASE PUT A FUCKING READ MORE I DONT WANT TO SCROLL TO FUCKING NARNIA TO FIND A BITE SIZED FIC WHAT THE FUCK ITS NOT THAT DIFFICULT

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reid fluff pretty plz :))

So I am finally coming out the other side of one of the WORST depressive episodes ever, so I am choosing Reid fluff head canons for my wifey and violence LETSA GO~

-I feel like he would be really good at talking to you before he had the realization

-yk what I mean the “oh shit” moment

-and then everything would change

-you think you’d pissed him off since you’ve never seen him leave a room faster than after you’ve just entered it

-but he just doesn’t know how to talk to you anymore.  He’s a wreck, and he’s either of these two things:

         ~Can’t get two words out around you without stuttering

         ~Rambles endlessly until Morgan has to cover his mouth with his hand

-wants to be paired with you on missions, but also thinks that he would put the case in jeopardy if he got distracted

-Only lets you call him spence(IK ITS JJ IN THE SHOW AND I LOVE HER BUT SHE ISNT IMPORTANT RN YOU ARE)

-the softest bean

-will try his best to memorize your coffee order if its complex, and it only takes him like 2 tries to get it right because hE hAs An EiDeTiC mEmOrY wE kNoW

-FatherFigure!Hotch tries to give him advice from his experience with Haley and Beth(even tho Haley was a CHEATING SKANK i will stand by this til I die) and Spencer absorbs all of it because its so much better than Morgan’s advice

-leaves sweet notes on your desk when you’re not looking

-freaks out and spends his entire lunch break worrying about you when you call in sick

~These we absolute GaRbAgE I know but I lowkey fell out of love with this man because I stopped watching Criminal Minds in favor of Narcos

But I felt bad that it took me so long to get these out to you hun :(

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You look me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn’t risk it all for Pedro Pascal.

You can’t.

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I usually don’t read chapter fics as I’m a oneshot girl myself, but THIS. this is one of the best multi-chapter stories i have ever read. If you’re looking for something to read and have seen agent carter, READ THIS. Author is super sweet and responds to comments and is obviously putting a lot of time into this story. Give it some love♥️

“Specs and the Flyboy” Masterlist

Summary: It was an undisputed fact that Jack Thompson, Chief of the New York SSR, and (Y/N) (Y/L/N), the Los Angeles SSR’s newly-hired codebreaker, hated one another from the moment they met. But what happens when an off-the-books investigation into Jack’s near-fatal shooting forces the two of them to put aside their differences and work together to solve the case?

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) Chapter Twenty

Spotify Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/21pWY7OiMFj8LaYpxhtVtW

Tagging: @nnon-it-up @fluffymadamina @remmyswritings @ourstarsailor @coffeeandcrimeshows @darkusangelus @josis-teacup @marvel-jackt-loki-buck @yeetyeetchickenmeat @sameoldbaby @theserenityspace @seeing-but-not-observing @supervoldejaygent @momc95 @brooke0297​ @kinda-c0nfused​ @outoftheregular

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AGH

Pedro’s so close to getting a senior citizen discount at most places and here I am wanting him to break me sexually.

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going on a mandalorian rant now don’t mind me~

does anyone else think that Din and the chick from the shrimp village(i never bothered to retain her name in my head) were NOT a good match??

like, she just rubbed me the wrong way right off the bat. she knows NOTHING about him and she’s asking him questions about his helmet n shit and i’m like “MAAM CAN YOU NOT HES NOT PRONE TO SHARING HIS PAST W PEOPLE”(i think i did actually scream that at my tv. no regrets i don’t like her).

and the thing w/ Grogu(!!!!!) Din didn’t want Grogu where he was too far away from him, because this is a FOREIGN PLANET AND HE DOESNT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THESE PEOPLE. Like, the hospitality could all be a front for a village of cannibals??? And she’s just like “no. let him go”. WHAT??? my “this doesn’t seem right” buzzer was going off in my head the whole damn time

i get that Grogu needs to interact with other people, and we see him with kids again in the school later on. but i just got really really bad vibes from the entire interaction with that woman. Grogu was such a new addition in Din’s life at that point, and the woman was basically telling him what to do with him.

so yeah. in conclusion, i don’t like her, and as the mom friend of my group and someone with really strong maternal instincts, this gave me all the heebie geebies.

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Jack Thompson x reader, you two are tolerant towards each other and someone decides that you two need to go on a blind date together. Thank you!!!!

YES I LOVE JACK THOMPSON WITH MY ENTIRE SOUL MY SWEETEST BOI I WILL WRITE HIM TIL MY FINGERS BLEED♥️ i love u anon thank u

I mean just look at him😍🥺 i love

Summary: Y/N and Jack work together at the New York SSR. After a chat with one of her neighbors at The Griffith and the setup of a blind date, will they be more than colleagues?

Warnings: It has like two curse words that usually aren’t considered curse words? Better safe than sorry🤷‍♀️ I read through it like twice checking for errors, so it should be okay.

(h/t): hair texture (curly, kinky, straight, wavy, etc.)

PS. Melody is just the name I use on the internet, so that’s me :)

Word Count: ~1.3k

~~~~~~~~

•Y/N POV•

I sighed as I walked into the office on a sunny Monday morning. We had just wrapped up a pretty big case busting an arms dealing ring last week, which means all the guys would want me to file their paperwork. When I arrived at my desk, there was already a teetering pile of files that swayed with each light gust coming through the open window. I hung up my coat, grabbed an armful of files, and shuffled to the filing room. It was gonna be a long day...

Jack walks out of his office just as I’m returning to my desk for another load of files, and raised an eyebrow at me.

“If you’re wondering why I haven’t made the coffee yet, ask the other agents why they can’t file their own damn paperwork” I grumbled as I walked past him with another load to put away. He chuckled at my misfortune a little before turning back to his office to finish his own paperwork.

~~~Time skip to that evening~~~

As I sat down to dinner at the Griffith, one of the girls brought up the fella she’d been seeing. Talking about how kind he was, and all the lovely dates they went on together.

“Is there any special guy in your life Y/N?” The girl asked; her name was Melody. She was a pretty tall girl, with blue eyes and dirty blonde hair.

I heaved a sigh, knowing that the pestering was going to begin soon. Why aren’t you looking for a husband? How are you expected to get married if you aren’t putting yourself out there? My mother asked the same questions every year when I returned for the holidays. I was so invested in proving that a woman could be just as good of an agent as a man, I had no time to go out dancing.

I plastered a smile on my face, “I actually don’t have a fella right now, they keep me awful busy down at the phone company,” as Melody’s face fell, I added, “but having a man might be nice.”

She perked right back up. Her eyes flashing with excitement, I was worried she was gonna try to pair me with her brother, whom I had seen too many pictures of: his pinched face and angry looking features making me wonder how Melody was so pretty and happy looking. She definitely got the looks in her family.

“That’s great! I know this guy, he’s a family friend of mine and he’s been looking for a gal to take out dancing. He works for the government! Super secret job, wouldn’t tell me much about it. War vet, tall, blond and handsome. What do ya say?” Her eyes begging me to say yes, I nodded, making her clap her hands excitedly. One blind date couldn’t hurt right?

~~~~The evening of the date~~~~

I showed up to the real snazzy jazz club that Melody told me was his favorite, right at 7:00 when we were supposed to meet. I was wearing one of my favorite outfits to dance in, boosting my confidence as I saw a woman smack the man’s arm next to her, since he was no longer paying attention to her. I walked in, my eyes scanning, looking for the booth near the far corner of the room she told me he’d be waiting in. As I slipped between people to get to the back, I saw the back of his head: well kept dirty blond hair, swooped to the side. Reminds me of Jack’s hair. I thought to myself.

I sat in the booth, and when I looked up, I came face to face with none other than my boss, chief of the New York SSR, Jack Thompson.

~~~~~~~~

•JACK’S POV•

As I was sitting waiting for my date, I looked again at my watch, seeing that it was just now 7:00. She should be here any minute, I thought. At the thought of meeting her for the first time, I began to get nervous.

What if she doesn’t like me and I like her?

What if I don’t like her and she likes me?

What if my breath smells bad when we are dancing? Wait did I brush my teeth-

As I was running through all these thoughts in my head, a woman sat down across from me. As I looked up, I locked eyes with Y/N L/N. Of all the girls in New York, Mel sets me up with Y/N L/N? Not that I disliked her, but we weren’t exactly the best pals in the workplace. I internally cringed at the memory of me laughing at her this week for having to do all the filing.

She looked gorgeous, as per usual, but you don’t just get to tell your coworkers that, especially a coworker you outrank. Her (h/t) hair was styled to perfection, as per usual, not a strand out of place. I just stared at her in shock, not knowing how to go about this. Was it right to dance with her tonight, or would it disrupt our professional relationship?

~~~~~~~~

•Y/N’S POV•

HOW ON EARTH DID MELODY KNOW JACK?! I was screaming to myself. Of all the government workers in New York, this was the tall blond war vet she knew? I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to have wasted an evening by coming here for nothing, but was it the right thing to do to dance with your boss in these circumstances?

I offered him a tight smile, and stood up from the booth, making up my mind. He looked at me in confusion when I held my hand out to him.

“Did you really wanna come here all for nothing? I’m sure I’m not the ideal dance partner, but I won’t step on your toes” I said over the fast music coming from the bandstand behind us. He smirked, and stood up as we walked arm in arm to the dance floor.

~~~~

Jack and Y/N danced for hours, talking and laughing about their childhoods, families, and their futures. Fast swinging songs, and slower songs where they could really focus on the conversation. They danced as if they had been dancing together for years, on tempo and completely in sync. They danced and danced until they got kicked out because the band was done for the night.

As Jack walked her up to her door and bid her goodnight, he couldn’t believe he hadn’t gotten to know her sooner. She was one hell of a gal. As he walked down to his car to drive home, he smiled softly, looking forward to next friday when they had already planned to go dancing again.

He’d have to thank his cousin Melody for this.

~~

I hope this was to your liking! :)

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oW🥺🤚

Father/Buir