koqabear - Tumblr blog

[koqabear]

hi koqa !! it has been awhile ❤️

i hope everything is going well for you and that you are able to relax and find chances to breathe throughout the day. wishing you luck !!

thank u sm my love….. i need all the luck i can get actually

i just burned my finger to a crisp at work (so bad i didn’t even notice when it happened???) AND i think i got poisoned by my dining hall. my tummy hurts.

i think this is karma for something.

[koqabear]

you didn’t respond to my ask :( now i’m gonna cry myself to sleep .. thanks a lot rachel , thanks a lot

fun facts!

1: i don’t answer asks in order! i just answer what i find interesting in the moment/have energy to respond to

2: i actually have a really busy life and the last thing on my mind right now is logging into this account and keeping track of everything i receive!

be patient with creators on here, it’s already hard to be consistent and active for most of us as it is 🥰 nothing against you, but i’ll get to your ask when i have time. which probably won’t be soon!

[koqabear]

You know, in your page, the description "Stay a while, come and chat" was it? You know what I read that as? "Stay a while, come and EAT" 💀

-🧁

alkdghhkg i think your subconscious is trying to tell you something....

y'know,,, sometimes i think about changing it, but then i never know what to change it to, and then i just give up. plus, i fear it's been too long and you're all probably used to it saying that, so. why change it now?

[koqabear]

Such a weird thought of mine, but have you ever thought about all your mcs interacting with each other? Like be it dead or alive, all of them in like a limbo talking to each other about their universe. I swear I'm not high- just tired and the thought came to be.

oh god LMFAO now that is something to imagine. did a double take at "dead or alive" part bc i had to think which ones fell into that category... i think none.... yet...

i'd like to think of the extremes. like. WPAG or stuck with you's mcs seeing how happy and spoiled and loved the mc in pretty privilege is,, just absolutely floored. like wdym he's a good loving man and you couldn't ask for anything better... ??

another one i think would be kinda insane... oyd's mc seeing how beomgyu and the mc are in like cat and mouse 😓 meeting beomgyu would be enough to send her spiraling and wondering if this is some new sick and twisted way to get the other mc's guard down,,, it would end with a batshit crazy oyd mc threatening his life and being held back or smth.

i think it's best to keep everyone in their respective universe.

[koqabear]

i read chulo.

Think I need like five business days to recover from whatever the fuck that was. that was the best piece of writing. I have read in my entire life. I will be thinking about her every day from now on. it had everything I ever wanted and more. the enemies (?) to lovers. the frustration. the bickering. the buildup. the stress. the sheer hot fucking mess

taehyuns already hot how the FUCK did you make him hotter oh my god i didnt know i needed him like this i am in love w u for doing this service to mankind

LMAOOO THANK U THANK U

i actually have no idea what possessed me when i wrote that. no actually i do. it was a visceral need for that man that drove me into writing the most depraved thing ever i fear 😞

i’m glad u enjoyed it though 🔥 i literally just wrote every single trope that makes me weak in the knees and just hoped for the best !

[koqabear]

I'm actually not the biggest fan of dark/taboo fics but something about the way you write changes my mind. I get so immersed and end up thinking about your fics for days.

lord….. this makes me so happy actually 💔 i’m very honored that you like to keep an open mind with my writing, that’s all i could ever ask for honestly !!

[koqabear]

reading chulo oh i freaking knew u were a taehyun bias only we think like this ab him

this is actually the biggest compliment i’ve ever gotten. i wear my solomon status like a badge of honor

[koqabear]

you would do wonderful for the community by writing dark/taboo content -- i can only imagine what brews in your head at a daily basis.

MAN if only you all knew. i actually have a few wips that i’m planning/writing at the moment, but ykw…. i wanna hear what you 🫵 guys are into as well!!

[koqabear]

feeling a little silly and curious right now: if i were to write more “dark/taboo” topics, would you guys want to read it? what would u guys like to see in the future ? feel free to send me an ask, i’d love to hear all your thoughts :3

[koqabear]

omf i know you are a txt focused blog but you'd do wonders writing for ateez 😭😭😭😭 (pls dont get me wrong im not asking for anything ans totally respect that you only write for txt! actually im really really grateful bc youre my favorite txt author 😔🥺

LMFAOOOO are you in my head. are you in my walls. are you listening in on me rn.

let me tell you. this sleep deprivation and my undeniable obsession for song mingi is making me consider doing smth really random. and ur ask is nothing but encouragement to me 💗

[koqabear]

i just keep fucking winning

[koqabear]

random thought but i find it so crazy that kai is embarrassed about having belly fat bc i think it’s super attractive when guys aren’t completely slim/muscular and have a little bit of belly fat 😭 maybe that’s just me but i think it’s hot

CHRIST IKR like yeah sure muscular/lean builds are great and all but. LET ME SEE THAT BELLY. hyuka (and gyu) will be over here getting all shy over the fact that they don't have washboard abs AS IF I GAVE A FUCK!! if i ever got my hands on him.... lord i'd make sure he knew how serious i am.

[koqabear]

Ughhhhh I truly love your writing!!! 😫 ITS SO GOOOOOD!!!!!

THANK YOUUUU thank you thank you mwah !!

[koqabear]

I wish I was the pizza..

GOD every time i see this clip it always has me tweaking. LIKE THIS WAS SUCH AN INSANE THING TO SEE ?! why is he making out with that pizza. why was that so attractive.

[koqabear]

I don't know, but I'm so excited for manipulative gyu.😩 is this a fic you're really writing??? I'm so excited!

IT IS ‼️‼️ i am also really excited, i can’t tell if it’s the extra burst of inspiration talking or if i’m fr gonna stick with this (the latter, i pray.)

anyways, here’s a sneak peek no one asked for !

___

You’re stuck with Beomgyu hours after that— even though your mother was able to calm you down, it seemed as though you were afraid of the boy for the rest of your time there; hiding behind any object that was able to cover your frame, hugging your bear tightly and using it as a shield to peek at him— averting your eyes frantically when he’d glance at you and meet your weary gaze. 

Despite your mother’s attempts to get the two of you— or rather, mostly you— comfortable around each other, you both seemed dead set on not wanting to interact with the other, resigned to stay in separate sides of the room and turning your back to him when your mother had to leave to fetch a toy Beomgyu insisted he left on the couch of one of the main rooms, not bothering to specify which one; you attempted to follow her, but she prevented you from doing so, a reassuring smile stuck on her face as she asked you to wait on the beanbag. 

If Beomgyu didn’t know any better, he could’ve confused you for a mannequin; frozen still, small hands gripping onto your stuffie and wide eyes keeping watch at the door— the sight was both parts intriguing and irritating, and the boy reluctantly found himself watching you, observing you carefully— even then, it seemed as though you didn’t even blink. 

“You’re such a scaredy-cat.” Beomgyu says loudly, point proven further from the way you flinch and snap your gaze over to where he sits on the bed; arms crossed petulantly, eyes narrowed and watching you intently, “Are you scared your mom left you here?”

The very thought is enough to have your eyes widening; only a year difference in age, Beomgyu ponders to himself, yet you seem extremely attached to your mother, and are quite gullible too— he frowns at the way your mind visibly seems to wander, thinking of scenarios that only cause you to panic— and though Beomgyu knows he should feel bad, he can only find himself wondering just how far he can take this. 

“You might just be stuck here forever,” he muses, pushing himself off the bed and walking over to you, standing before you and watching the way you try to deny his claims, albeit a bit hesitantly, “I think she got tired of you.”

You refuse to believe him— but it’s been a while, and your mother still hasn’t come back. The way he looks down at you makes you feel so small, his expression so sure and serious that you’re beginning to wonder the truth of his words; beginning to wonder if your mother really left you. 

“She abandoned you.” Beomgyu finishes, watching with cold eyes as your mind slowly succumbs to the possibility.

And after a moment, it happens. There it is again, he thinks to himself, watching your eyes well up and your expression screw into one of sorrow so effortlessly— he drinks it all in with fascination, never having seen someone who can spill tears and get so heartbroken on a whim; your fingers dig into your plush and your body shakes with hiccups, continuing to defend your mother weakly and saying that she will come back. 

“No she won’t,” Beomgyu says apathetically, watching the way your face twists into a frown and you attempt to fight back— but you’re believing him, and his interest is piqued, whispers telling him to see if he can get you to give up your fighting entirely, “you’re such a crybaby. She doesn’t like that. My mom says that kids like you are annoying. That no one wants a whiny kid.”

Through your messy sniffles and shed tears, you stop to think— could this be true? Beomgyu’s expression is blank even as your eyes finally meet his, solemn and unshaken, as though what he said is nothing but a universal truth— and the more you look at him, the more he looks at you, the more you believe it. 

Beomgyu can almost see something shatter within you; his lips upturn in a small smile. 

“I like you,” he suddenly says, bold and innocent as he reaches out to offer his hand; you blink, dazed, unsure of what to make of his words as you remain silent— blindly, you take his hand. “You’re weird. Let's go find your mom– she’s downstairs.”

He pulls you up before you can protest; he’s just a few inches taller than you, and you find yourself looking up as you trail after him, hugging your plush tightly with one arm— through shaky sniffles and stutters, you’re finally able to ask him a question. 

“You mean she didn’t leave me?”

Beomgyu scoffs. 

“No. I was lying. Couldn’t you tell?”

You shake your head petulantly, your stare burning into the boy’s side profile; the light that bleeds in from the floor-to-ceiling windows that line the hall almost casts a glow onto him, like a halo of sorts. You feel an odd sense of comfort.  

“No.”

For the second time today, Beomgyu’s lips quirk up into a miniscule smile. He nods. 

“Cool.”

___

[koqabear]

born to write mean manipulative fucked up beomgyu, forced to listen to the demons that whisper to me abt loser sub puppy gyu.

[koqabear]

oh I want to listen about more manipulated fucked up gyu .. is it possible ??

AHHHHHH don't feed into it..... it's one of my current wips, specifically the rich!gyu one 😁

im trying so hard not to jinx myself but also. maybe if other people actually know abt this and get excited then i won't leave it to collect dust every few weeks...

it's basically a childhood best friend! au... only beomgyu is an apathetic spoiled rich freak and the mc has attachment issues and anxiety. match made in heaven... <3