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[kyaappucino]

Drafting, but Sad

This is part of my Radiodust childhood friends draft, but a sad take on it. More of a vent fic than anything, but I like the direction it's going.

CW: implied cannibalism near the end, sad friend trope, unrequited love

“May I have your attention please. The next train to arrive at platform 4D is the 20:10 Supercell Rail service to Buckshot Parkway. Travel in the front four coaches for Euterpe, Mono Gatari, and Ninelie, and Departures. Will passengers intending to travel on this service please join the train now, as it is ready to leave.”

It was a Friday when Alastor’s first love ended, shortly after the last orange leaves fell and the naked branches were wrapped in Christmas lights. When he heard the announcement, Alastor’s left hand wrapped around the handle of his luggage, claw-like and determined. His cellphone vibrated angrily in his pocket, as if it were shouting for attention.

“Don’t do this to me,” He mumbled to himself. “gotta board the train.” People were already starting to shuffle around and beyond him. The vibration in his pocket, the chattering and footsteps of people, the train announcement, and even the smell of various states of body odor and the lemon disinfectant—it was extremely overwhelming and exhilarating all at once. He just wanted it to stop.

“It can stop any time you want it to.” The thought came to Alastor before he could squash it. “Just turn around, answer the phone, and go back to town. Let him catch you.” Angel Dust. He didn’t need to check who was calling, of course. Anthony was just as intertwined in his mess of a life as Alastor was.

But who was he, exactly, without Angel?

__________________________________

He didn’t know. For more than a decade, Alastor built his life around his best friend. Worked part-time jobs in convenience stores, became a part-time fabric mule for Vox, and occasionally accepted shifts in the butcher shop to support himself while he waited for yet another man to sweep Anthony away in his arms, just to pick up the pieces.

It was all he knew. Then he heard the answering voice of his older brother.

“Ma didn’t run off just so y’could devote your life to a man who don’t love ya.”

Alastor’s frown deepened as he neared platform 4D. He quickened his step to hear the echo of his dusty black loafers on the smooth station tiles, desperate to drown out his conscience.

“Look. If you wanna be a butcher, fine. But I’ve seen you cook, Al. Y’got what it takes to go pro if you wanted. And maybe a bigger city’s gonna be good. Sometimes, you gotta run away from the things you love before they suck all the fight out of you.”

Finally, he arrived at the platform and got in line as more people boarded the train. The vibrating in his pocket continued. There was still time before it was his turn, so he steeled his heart and answered his phone.

“Al! You fuckin’ asshole, at least tell me where you’re goin’!”

“…Angel,” he said, soft as could be. He wasn’t ready for a fight. “I already said I was going to college.”

“But…but y’could go here!” Angel replied, knowing how to keep breaking Alastor’s heart. “I don’t understand…I thought being Gio’s apprentice was yer dream.”

The line moved slightly, and Alastor trapped the phone between the crook of his shoulder and ear so he could adjust the luggage beside him. “It was. I liked town just fine. Judgmental stares wouldn’t have bothered me as long as I could work and come back to a friendly face.”

Angel hissed through his teeth. “You got us, man. Vox, Val, Vel, Rosie, Mimz, for god’s sake! And me…”

Alastor chuckled, voice bitter. “Do I really, Angel?”

“That’s…that ain’t fair, bitch, and you know it.” Angel said. It sounded like he was walking. “Y’know what’s at stake if we…”

“Yeah.” Alastor said, cutting him off. They’d had this song and dance before. “You don’t date friends. You don’t want what we’ve got to end. I know that. But you also know that I’ve loved you for years. And last night, we had that chance.”

“Al…”

“…and yet, you still apologized. So…I need to know who I really am. Without you.” He imagined Angel’s shocked face and it shook his resolve. Alastor hated making Angel cry. He hated anyone else who did, but if it was himself—the irritation was twice as much.

“Y’don’t gotta move away for that, I…I can just not…”

“Come around the apartment? Visit Gio’s? Walk Fat Nuggets past the park every day?” Snapshot after snapshot of warm memories flooded through his mind then, of Angel eagerly decorating his apartment. Of him finding excuses to walk into Gio’s during Alastor’s shift. Angel apologizing because his pig Fat Nuggets managed to wrap his leash around both of their legs.

“Angel. Anthony. I…I can’t keep doin’ this witcha. Playin’ house an’ wantin’ t’protect ya. But when night falls…y’don’t care ‘bout me like dat.”

“Even I deserve sum’n t’love me back. I deserve more than…” Alastor’s voice shook with all the emotion he’d tried to push down. “…more than ‘I can’t love ya the way you need.’”

There was a choked sort of noise at that.

“You know better than to take my drunk ass seriously.” His voice sounded echo-y, like he was close. The same sound of people and train station announcements, too.

Fuck.

He had to board the train.

__________________________________

“I always took you seriously.” Alastor replied with a strength he never felt inside. “Always, always. But you kept looking away from me. And when I finally gave you the date you asked for, you said sorry over and over again after.”

On the other end of the line, Angel’s breath was heavy, his steps frantic, and people were complaining. “What the hell? Asshole, quit running—“

Alastor held his train ticket and luggage in one hand as he closed his phone in the other. “Don’t I deserve a chance to try something new without you, Angel?”

He saw the boy who became a man who was still the love of his life, with tear-filled eyes asking him to stay. Even then, Alastor wanted to. He wanted nothing but to drop everything, miss his train, embrace Anthony, and build a life together. But that wasn't what Angel was going to give him.

No, Angel wanted the best friend who'd never leave his side as he navigated through life. Being bright and unapologetic. And somehow, knowing that Angel would inevitably find someone else to love was a reality he couldn't cope with anymore.

It was one thing to mangle and dismember and consume the men Angel had been with. If he were being honest, it was one of the few times he truly felt connected to his childhood friend. But the police were getting suspicious and sooner or later, the dogs would find his scent, if Henroin didn't get to him first.

"Please, Alastor," his older brother had said last night. "Just try. Leave town. Learn how to cook. Fill your head with more than just Anthony."

[kyaappucino]

Blue-Locking Fics rn

In case you're unaware: there's a reddit thread talking about ℯlon ṃusk's Open AI scraping a03 for fanfiction to train AIs.

I've been editing the permissions on my works so only registered users can read/comment on them. Other authors may do the same, too. So if you have bookmark alerts on for my fics, I'm sorry--there is no story update. Just me adding blue locks.

If you don't have an a03 account, this means that you're not going to have access to these blue-locked fics without one.

[kyaappucino]

whenever I publish my radiodust childhood friends wip, expect the "I've been looking" story to be deleted from ao3. I have it downloaded and backed up, and I don't hate the story--I'm still very much excited by it.

I just think I published it much too soon, and didn't have a clear vision and outline of that story.

For the childhood friends wip, it's grown from a small one-shot into a full multichapter. Currently, it's sitting at 10 scenes (11th is the summary + tags) and I'm just trying to work out the latter half (which involves a murder and major character death, because the humans are Going to Hell.)

At this point, all I can do is continue to draft it and hope that it's a story worth waiting for.

[kyaappucino]

“I write because writing is power. Writing is creation. When you write, you are as a god, a deity wielding his pen like some Harry Potter staff, making whatever you want to happen, happen. By sheer force of will and some clever word placement, I can arrange all of these little symbols together to invoke emotions and ideas at a whim out of whosoever allows me to cast my spell. It does not take a man and a woman to create. It just takes a writer.”

— Jonathan Culver (via ilivetowriteandinspire)

[kyaappucino]

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

[kyaappucino]

Your messy magical girl is here!

...and now to attempt to keep it running! Revived for the love of fandom, just in case people start migrating.

[kyaappucino]

Smut Guides of Tumblr

This list is meant to supplement our Towel on Sex Scenes.

We will add to the list as the guides present themselves.

Accola-RPH: Smut 101: 1,677 words of probable nonsense.

All-American-RPH: Resource List for Smut Guides

Bella-Helps: A Smut Guide

Drunkentroll: SO I HEARD YOU WANTED TO WRITE SMUT.

Fuckyeahsexeducation

Howtosmut

Gan-ceann: Some Guidelines for Writing Good Smut

GoddessRPS: How to Write → Blowjobs

GoddessRPS: Smut 101

JustanotherRPH: How to: Write Smut.

Ladydi-RPC: Resources→ How to Write Smut

Lastofthetimeladies: How to write good smut: a tutorial.

Leviathan-RPC: How to smut - The Bare Bones

Leviathan-RPC: The Ups and Downs (of erections)

Leviathan-RPC: Domination and Submission

Livvefast: A guide to smut

Poshhelpers: How to Smut (for Virgins): Getting Started

Prompts-and-Pointers: Tips on Writing Sex Scenes

Ringileskiath: How to Write and Accurate Gay Sex Scene by Lemon-Sprinkles

RPCgron: The Birds and the Bees of Writing Smut

ShakeboltRPS: Post All About Kisses

Smut-101

Snazzycookies: How to write a kiss

Taysonhelpsroleplays: Resource for Writing Female Oral Sex

The-Hardyest-RPC: Writing smut; A guide

Thegraphicsbakery: Writing sex scenes is hard … er … difficult. (originally by Ad Hudler)

TheWritersHelpers: Genre help: Writing Smut

Thor-ofasgard: Smut Guide: Casual Sex

Thor-ofasgard: A Guide to Language in Smut: Part One

Thor-ofasgard: How to write Lesbian Smut

Thor-ofasgard: Writing Guide: Making Love

WonderWriting: A Girl’s First Time

WonderWriting: A Boy’s First Time

Writing-Reference: A Guide to All Corners of The Smut World

Yeah Write! Bawm Chicka Baw Bawww: How to Write SEX SCENES

YouKnowYoureAWriterWhen: How to Write Sex Scenes When You’re a Prude

BoofRP: Smutty Resources.

SpankingTheatre: 10 tips for (erotic) writing

Did we miss yours? Send us a link!

-C

[kyaappucino]

Slow-Cooked Love

Pairing: Hakyeon/Taekwoon

Words: 1611

Rating: G

Summary: “You’re the one,” Hakyeon had whispered, reserving Leo’s slot. He was almost surprised when he was immediately taken to the confirmation screen. Surely, prettier hybrids would be already taken?

Notes: Written for the DyNamite Fic Fest. Credit goes to QueenSinnamon for one scene inspired by her thread.

The prompt was: write anything inspired by jonog’s Felidae art series. 

Hakyeon hummed as he wandered through the grocery aisle, pushing his cart toward the Hybrid Food section. There were different price points, but he decided to check the app that his school recommended for this assignment.

“Hmm…meat, vegetables, and occasionally, ice cream. Sounds like my grocery list.” The difference was, larger hybrids often ate larger portions. Hakyeon grimaced when he saw his cart was already half full. It would surely take a dent out of his weekly budget. At least, Hakyeon thinks, the school reimburses me for buying food for my assigned hybrid. Otherwise I’d just starve!

He was taking a course in contemporary dance, but even Hakyeon was not exempted from volunteer work. In recent years, the large-sized hybrid population had increased. The government put these larger hybrids in adoption centers, instead of leaving them free to roam about. Dragon-hybrids, lion-hybrids, and everything bigger than a bunny-hybrid was considered a serious threat, since all hybrids had a tendency to follow their animal instincts.

At least Changwon had special laws that allowed bigger hybrids to stay in shelters instead of roaming around. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. He had always liked larger animals, anyway. Hakyeon picked up a bag of lion food. His assigned hybrid was an albino lion.

“Excuse me,” One of the stock girls paused in creating an elaborate pyramid out of cans and looked at him. “Yes, how may I help you?” Hakyeon pointed to the lion food and asked, “Can albino lion hybrids eat this too?”

She looked at him strangely. “No, I’m sorry sir. Our store stocks the gold option for this food, for rarer hybrids. They have pretty sensitive stomachs…”

He took one look at the price tag and was very glad that the school would reimburse his expenses. “How do dragon-hybrid trainers make a living…?” He murmured, and the girl laughed. “I’ll be sure to ask my trainer, but with the food he buys me—he earns a lot.” Her arms, exposed, had gleaming emerald scales, and her tail had a satin ribbon on the end.

A few moments and much conversation later, Hakyeon walked out of the hybrid grocery with a lighter debit card and a hopeful heart. Online, Leo seemed like a good and docile hybrid. The photos depicted him as a regal-looking hybrid. “Male, tall, platinum-blonde. Original genes – albino lion.” The attached photos in the V.I.X.X. Care Center were very attractive. It almost looked like a photo-shoot, if Hakyeon was being honest.

There were pictures of Leo eating ramyun, slurping and chewing, getting soup all over his soft-looking sweater. Hakyeon even saw a photo of Leo seated in a large plush chair, as regal as the albino lion genes inside of him.

“You’re the one,” Hakyeon had whispered, reserving Leo’s slot. He was almost surprised when he was immediately taken to the confirmation screen. Surely, prettier hybrids would be already taken? “What am I thinking?” Hakyeon muttered to himself. Maybe the assignment had come in time. He needed a distraction, and perhaps taking care of a larger species of hybrid could fill the emptiness in his heart.

Their first meeting was awkward, to say the least. Hakyeon, groceries in hand, was led to a room with a one-way mirror. There, he could see Leo seated on a plush couch. “Are you ready?” The attending vet student asked him. Hakyeon was nervous, but nodded. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

Leo was wearing ripped jeans and a dark sweater, the ends frayed with too much washing. It just made him look even more beautiful than ever, and Hakyeon felt a little underdressed in his turtleneck and jeans. The albino lion-hybrid stared into his eyes, and Hakyeon felt like Leo could see through to his very soul.

“Uhm…” the grocery bag crinkled as Hakyeon put it into his lap. Leo cocked his head to one side, curious. Hakyeon half-expected him to paw the bag. “Hey. I’m Hakyeon. I’ll be taking care of you for a while.”

“Oh.” The sound was so soft, but it charmed Hakyeon to the very core. “Thank you.”

He wanted to hear more, so Hakyeon would pass one item from his bag to Leo. When Hakyeon handed Leo some ice cream (specially formulated for albino hybrids), the other man pouted. “I don’t like this brand,” Leo said. “Why not?” Hakyeon asked, curious now. “The saleslady said that albino lions have a sensitive stomach…”

“That’s just so you keep buying their expensive stuff,” Leo said indignantly. “Did you buy any ramyun?”

“Uh, no. Sorry.” Hakyeon tipped the bag to show it was empty. “Maybe tomorrow?”

After that, the lion hybrid sat on the couch and nodded. “Okay. Tomorrow.”

And there they sat in silence, until Hakyeon’s allotted 45 minutes were up.

A few days into taking care of him and Hakyeon already wanted to quit.

This albino lion hybrid, it turned out, liked three main food groups: coffee, junk food, and sweets. Whenever Hakyeon brought Leo the ‘wrong’ food, the lion hybrid would snort and sleep on the couch. “Hey!” Hakyeon had said the first time. “That’s rude. Wake up!”

Leo would ignore him, and Hakyeon would sigh and play games on his phone. “How am I going to get to know you, if you won’t even talk?” He asked out loud, and Leo flicked his tail sleepily, as if that answered Hakyeon’s question.

“You haven’t even touched your burger…” Hakyeon checked the oily paper bag full of food. The fries were completely demolished, but the burger, with crunchy lettuce leaves and thick meat patties, lay untouched. “What’s wrong with you, Leo?”

The vet student refused to talk about it, too. “That’s his own secret. He wouldn’t even tell me, and I’ve been volunteering for two years.”

He learns to be observant.

Gradually, Hakyeon’s 45-minute visits get longer, and Leo slept less and less. There was minimal talking, but now it doesn’t bother him anymore. A sunny smile would be sent Hakyeon’s way if he gave Leo a can of iced coffee from the vending machine. Leo would listen to Hakyeon talk about his day, about his dance lessons, and even his problems with other subjects and school projects. How much of Leo’s world was kept inside the shelter? Hakyeon didn’t even know. He learns that Leo likes simple things, and prefers soft food.

The steaks and burgers Hakyeon buys for Leo remain untouched, even if the hybrid’s mouth was already watering. But he likes them—Leo would put the paper bag by his side, even when the burger was already getting cold. At one point, Hakyeon saw Leo tearing the meat into smaller pieces, and grimacing a little when he tried to chew. One time, Leo yawns, and Hakyeon sees his teeth neatly filed into rows. “…is this why you can’t eat meat?”

The lion hybrid looks down, cheeks pink. “….yeah. The last person who took care of me…he didn’t like my teeth. Said I might hurt him. It still hurts, a bit.”

“I hope I never see him,” Hakyeon says, crushing his soda can out of annoyance. “He sounds like a jerk.” “It’s okay,” Leo says, prying the soda can out of Hakyeon’s fingers. The lion hybrid’s fingers are warm against his own. “That was a long time ago.”

“Still!” Hakyeon said, whining. “He should’ve left your teeth alone…”

Leo chuckled. “Thanks for caring about me.”

It made Hakyeon’s heart flutter more than he would have liked.

After his daily visit to the hybrid center, Hakyeon returns home. There had to be something he could do to help Leo eat. He asks his sister for suggestions. “Slow-cooking the meat makes it tender. Maybe he can eat that?”

“How do I slow cook meat?”

“Lemme show you.”

Hakyeon’s sister shows him the recipe, and explains that the crockpot could even cook food while he was in class. He tries it and makes burritos, carefully wrapping the meat around soft pita bread. Everything nice and soft, for Leo.

When he visits the hybrid center that day, Leo’s head rises immediately, smelling freshly-cocked meat. “Here,” Hakyeon says gently, handing him a Tupperware container full of aluminum. “I made these for you.”

Leo looked at the container suspiciously. “It isn’t anything dangerous,” Hakyeon says, laughing. “my sister helped me, so it’s definitely edible. Here.” Hakyeon uses one fingernail to unwrap the foil from the burrito, and steam rises from within.

The pita bread had gotten a little soggy, but it was still good. Leo still didn’t look convinced. “I’ll prove it.” Hakyeon takes a bite of the burrito, and at this, Leo copies him. The meat was so soft, it melted in Hakyeon’s mouth. Buying the more expensive cut of meat was definitely worth it.

“I thought you…didn’t know how to cook.” Leo murmured, as he tried to bite into the burrito. There was no wince of pain, and Leo started to eat enthusiastically, his tail swishing back and forth in pleasure. “I still don’t, but...I just…wanted to make you something.”

Words are clumsy now, but Hakyeon manages to explain that he just wanted Leo to experience eating meat. “The beef is a bit expensive, but you’re…” the words catch in his throat. “…worth it.”

Before Hakyeon knows what’s happening, Leo leans his head on Hakyeon’s shoulder. “Thank you. For this.”

He doesn’t have the heart to tell Leo that he won’t be visiting forever. But he really wants to adopt him, too. “You’re welcome,” Hakyeon says gently. “Anytime.”

He could get a job in the fall. He’s willing to make it work.

He’d fallen in love even before Leo whispers, “I’m very thankful.”

[kyaappucino]

hi hi just dropped by to wish you good vibes!! i’ve been away from tumblr and i’ve missed reading your stories! i saw one of your stories pop up on my dash, read it, then proceeded to binge read some of your other stories lol anyway i hope you have a good day/night!!

Hello anon, thanks so much c: I just updated chapter 5 of the a/b/o au!! I hope you enjoy it. Hope you’ve been having a good day/night too hehe. I’ve been busy job hunting!

[kyaappucino]

Feverish; A/B/O Chapter 5

Pairing: Hakyeon/Taekwoon; Hongbin/Wonshik

Words: 1,574

Rating: PG-13 (just to be safe)

Summary: Every 14th of the month, Cha Hakyeon would die.

Notes:  If you want to read chapters 1-4, check out ao3 or the masterlist. c: This is a thank you gift for hitting 1,000 followers on Twitter. Also, special thanks to DiamondWings for helping complete this chapter. Will be starting on chapter 6 soon. 

Every 14th of the month, Cha Hakyeon would die.

At least, that was what it felt like. He had been foolish and sixteen at the time, reading in bed without a care in the world. And then there had been an unfamiliar pressure on his lower stomach. The pain came in waves. It started slow, so utterly deceptive that Hakyeon thought nothing of it and just turned the page of his book.

When the omega heat tortured his body, he threw the book at his closed door and yelled for help. His mother had come, asking what was wrong. “It hurts, it’s so hot—what’s happening to me? Mom, help…it hurts so much…I, I need—” he didn’t know what he needed. But she knew.

She called out to his sister and she had appeared next, bringing a bucket of ice water and hand towels. It felt like his body temperature rose to a hundred degrees, although his mother swore that it was normal. Part of the process. “Your body is calling out to your alpha.”

For the first time in his life, Cha Hakyeon wanted to kick and scream. He felt unbearably upset because of the pain, and because he needed someone else to cure it for him. “Why do I need another person to feel complete?” His mother’s eyes would shine full of pity, tears forming as she whispered, “because they make the pain go away.”

What happened next was a blur. Mostly, he remembered the pain. His mother and sisters had taken turns dampening his brow with cooling cloths, but nothing could give him relief. He would stare at the clock while his body was screaming for attention that no one could give. At one point, he was screaming because it felt like his loins were on fire, and no one was attending to him.

“It’ll be over soon,” his older sister had whispered. Hakyeon had hissed when her lips were close to his ear, her heated breath too much on his senses. “hold on, Hakyeon. You don’t need an alpha. Mom is getting your medicine right now. You’ll be okay. Just hold on…”

“I want to be okay right now,” he had moaned. There was something slick dripping from his hole, and it made him feel disgustingly dirty. It was soiling his briefs and no one would clean it up for him, because it was reserved for his alpha. His body ached to be touched by somebody, and no one would do it. Only a deep sense of shame reminded him that he was at home living with his mother and older sister. The ingrained shame stopped him from telling his mother he wanted her to get an alpha, any goddamn alpha that happened to pass by. Anything to make the pain go away.

Instead, he bit his lip and said softly, “I…I hope she comes back soon…” The next thing he knew, a needle was being poked into his arm, and slowly the pain started to dissipate. His body temperature was going down, down, down—until he felt cold. The room was cold. There was air conditioning, and a cool cloth was on his head. “It’s over now,” his sister had said, rocking her baby brother’s body as he shook against her, dampening her shirt with his confused tears. “you won’t have to worry about it until next month.”

Hakyeon had wanted to die, right then and there. Another month of this? No wonder his classmates wanted to find their alphas soon. He had cried himself to sleep, exhausted from his heat and the news that he would have to deal with this, possibly for the rest of his life.

The morning after, he had stared at his reflection in the mirror and promised himself never to fall apart again. Today was no different. He was supposed to be a pro at managing the heat by now. But growing up the shots were only given in small doses. Now that he met his mate, he wasn’t sure the regular dosage would be enough.

You have an alpha now, don’t you? Hakyeon’s mind asked, deceptively sweet. He should know what to do. It was supposed to be the best feeling in the world, knowing that someone else was responsible for this need, at least. But there was a cold, hollow feeling in his chest. He never wanted to repeat that disastrous summer again, not when he and Jaehwan worked so hard to pull himself back from the edge.

He felt sick about himself and his genetics. “I’m supposed to be happy.” Hakyeon repeated the words out loud, feeling them more than the burning sensation in his core. He’d found his alpha, the only other person who could sate him and extinguish his heat. But the heaviness in his heart still would not dissipate.

The omega heat felt like hot needles were being dragged across his skin. With every passing moment, he wanted the cooling sensation of the suppressant shots. But also, Hakyeon remembered watching a news report of more omegas becoming addicted to the medicine. He definitely wasn’t interested in becoming another statistic.

But Hakyeon still needed help, and he knew Jaehwan was busy today. As much as he wanted to call Taekwoon, just to see if the alpha could work his magic, he didn’t have Taekwoon’s number. The omega scrolled through his contacts list and saw Wonshik, Jaehwan, and Hongbin among his other friends. He wasn’t sure who had Taekwoon’s number. But he always knew who to call when he needed someone to talk to.

“C’mon Bean, really?” Hakyeon muttered as the line kept ringing. His heart was in his throat and he was just about to grab the damn suppressant just to get it over with, but something inside him just wanted to keep trying. Before the expected “Sorry, this caller is busy” message, Hongbin picked up.

“What’s up? Better be important—I died trying to answer this call.” Hakyeon bit his lip before answering. He knew how important Hongbin’s gaming time was. It warmed his heart that Hongbin would still choose to answer his call. Even if he bitched about it, just a little bit.

“…I-I need…” he actually didn’t know what he needed. Taekwoon’s number? Someone to talk to? The heat was making him feel needier by the second and he could only control himself so much. “Still there?” Hongbin asked, and it made him feel better. Comforted.

“Yes. I…could you come over? Please? I know I’m about to go into heat and I have suppressants but I don’t want to get addicted and I’m so scared I just—I don’t have Taekwoon’s number, and I didn’t know who else to call. I know it’s in the middle of your gaming time but…please, stay with me?”

There was silence on the line, and then he heard the closing of a door. “Okay. Stay with me, Hakyeon. Calm down. You don’t have Taekwoon’s number, but do you want him to visit?”

Just hearing Taekwoon’s name made Hakyeon’s stomach drop. “I…want him to visit, but I don’t, at the same time. It’s stupid. Why did I have to be an omega, Hongbin?” Oh, shit. No, Hakyeon, this isn’t what we’re supposed to be talking about right now. Instead of answering his question, Hongbin decided to go with the ever-reliable answer. “I don’t know.” The beta replied. “Just like I don’t know why I’m a goddamn beta. But…Hakyeon, do you want to see him?” The answering whimper that escaped Hakyeon’s lips on the other end was enough.

Hongbin didn’t understand the heat, because as a beta—he only felt a certain ache whenever Wonshik wasn’t around. “Okay, listen to me. Get your comfort object. I’ll call Wonshik, he lives closer to Taekwoon.” Hongbin could hear shuffling in the background. Good, Hongbin thought. He can still listen to instructions. Taekwoon just needs to move his ass over there.

Hongbin locked his door and stopped for a moment. “Hakyeon?” There was an answering sob on the line, as if Hakyeon’s heat had caused him to break down. “I’ll be there in five. Get your washcloths ready.”

Before he completely cut their call, he thought he heard Hakyeon whisper “Thank you, Beanie,” and despite the affectionate tone, the neediness cracked Hongbin’s heart. Even if he despised being a beta, it was still better than having to control an omega fever.

Now it was Hongbin’s turn to call, praying that Wonshik wasn’t too sleepy to answer. The sun was high in the sky, but he knew his boyfriend could sleep through anything, even the sweltering weather. Luckily, he picked up after the second ring.

“Are you okay?” Wonshik asked, the fear in his voice. Ah, yeah. Hongbin thought. I’ve been dating my mate for half a year, and this is the first time I’ve called. “I’m fine babe,” Hongbin said, feeling the knot in his chest smooth out. He thought he heard Wonshik exhale in relief. “Hakyeon’s going into heat, and he—yeah, he sounded bad. Yeah, I’m almost there. But could you call Taekwoon for me?”

“What’s the magic word?” Wonshik asked teasingly. “I’ll let you fuck me bent over on the kitchen counter?” Hongbin asked, feeling a rush of pleasure when Wonshik swallowed, breathing hard. “…I’ll call for takeout when you’re done?” “Yep. You’re a saint, babe.” Hongbin said, chuckling. Trust his mate to know what makes him feel better.

Ending notes: It took me a very long time, but I do have every intention of completing the story. Thank you to everyone who waited patiently. ;w;

If you enjoy my work, please consider supporting me by reblogging/liking the post. And if you want to support me in a more personal way, do consider buying me a coffee or filling my tip jar so I can pay my bills while job-hunting. ;w;

[kyaappucino]

Cat’s Paws and Glitter

Pairing: Hyuk/Ken

Words: 1,874

Rating: G

Summary: Jaehwan could have blasted Sanghyuk back all the way towards the Hermes cabin if he wanted to. But he didn’t, not even when Sanghyuk messed with Jaehwan’s spell circle.

Notes: I actually love silly hyuken

Warnings: gross fluff

Jaehwan was inside the Hecate Cabin, the dark-grey curtains drawn. He was, admittedly enough happiest when flipping through his mother's grimoire, practicing spells. He had a page bookmarked on transformation magic, and had drawn a complex spell circle on the ground in white chalk.

Sure, there were more modern methods, like how some of his half-siblings would draw their circles on Photoshop or carried computer tablets so that all they had to do was mutter the incantation, but Jaehwan preferred the old-fashioned way. He felt closer to Hecate during these moments--and his grandmother.

"You're made of magic, Jaehwannie. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise." That's what his grandmother would say, rubbing soothing circles into his small back whenever the other kids would make fun of his drawings--drawings of three-headed dogs or huge men with a bull's head.

Only when he had gotten to camp did he understand. He was thankful to his grandmother, for encouraging him to draw even when his father didn’t exactly approve. To him, art (and subsequently, talk of magic) came second.

He’d changed a lot after his mother left, Jaehwan’s grandmother had said once, in a hushed voice.

"What spell is that, Jaehwan?" Lou Ellen, Hecate camp counselor asked as she helped another sibling with the proper ingredient quantities for a pig bomb. "Careful. One wrong move and we'll all turn into piglets!"

Jaehwan was currently rooting around the Hecate cabin's cupboards, looking for spell ingredients. He sniffed around a box and sneezed before throwing it towards the trash bin.

"Mom's book says it's a spell for summoning mist creatures...level one. So it's small things."

The camp counselor looked a little worried. "What were you thinking of summoning?" Her bead necklace glittered in the dim light of the fireplace, and Jaehwan smiled soothingly. "Ah...maybe a butterfly or a little bird." He continued to pick around the cupboard, but frowned with each little tin and box he found.

"Lou-noona," he called, more than a little worried now. "Did we run out of honeysuckle?"

"I beg your pardon?" Lou Ellen came near the cupboard, prepared for the worst. "Could have sworn the others asked the Demeter kids for some..."

She said, her words trailing off as she held back a smile.

Just beside the cupboard and hidden from Jaehwan's view was Sanghyuk, holding a sprig of honeysuckle inside a zip-loc bag.

No wonder the honeysuckle had disappeared. The other boy held a finger to his lips, begging the camp counselor to keep his presence a secret. She looked at him with a puzzled look then smiled again when Sanghyuk pulled out a cute little stuffed puppy, holding a sprig of honeysuckle and a note card in between its paws.

Cute. Lou Ellen thought in amusement.

She nodded and pointed towards a large box, motioning for him to get inside it. Sanghyuk gave her a confused look but quietly floated there, settling himself inside. There was a lot of feathers inside that box, making for a silent landing.

Perfect for the son of travelers and thieves.

“Ah yeah...Jaehwan, you’d better come with me. Let’s go ask the Demeter kids for some more honeysuckle.” When he hears Jaehwan hum in agreement, and the front door closes, he’s entirely thankful to the camp counselor. Sanghyuk jumped up from the box of feathers and carefully, Sanghyuk replaced the puppy in the same cupboard and mentally thanked Lou Ellen before disappearing out of a nearby window.

Trust a son of Hermes to maximize his winged boots...to leave Jaehwan a little present.

+

A few weeks later, Han Sanghyuk was inside the Hermes cabin, the loudest and most worn-looking of all. Painstakingly, he and the other children had polished the old Caduceus hanging on the door until it shone--and there was always one or two campers who would grab the hands of the younger ones.

Sticky fingers was a trait of all of Hermes’s children, but Connor and Travis Stoll had a way of appearing out of nowhere to grab at any hands that would like the Caduceus for themselves.

Hyuk frowned as he searched for his winged boots, missing from the shoe rack near the Hermes door. All the Hermes children had boots and any unclaimed campers knew better than to swipe them. Many times a Hermes kid was needed to pull out the winged boots from the thief’s feet, because only the children of the god of travelers knew how to control them.

“Where is it...?” He had hung up his boots when he returned from visiting the Apollo cabin, that much he was sure. He was the only camper who had shoelaces printed with cat paws, too--one could say that Sanghyuk was obsessed with his boots; needed them to be recognizable so that anyone who stole them was guaranteed to get a nice helping of mischief in return.

He finally decides to walk through the entire cabin one last time before asking for help. As he walked away from his own bed, there was a gentle sparkle of grey before a pair of winged boots with cat paws printed on the shoe laces floated on top of his hope chest.

Lee Jaehwan suppressed a giggle as he snapped his fingers and the boots were briefly covered in a rainbow aura before returning to normal.

“As if I’d let you one-up me, Sanghyuk!”

+

“Like I said, I don’t have any clue where your paw boots--ow!” Sanghyuk slapped the arm of one Hermes camper and said, “They’re not paw boots, they’re boots with cat paw laces.” The fact that Jaehwan had given him the laces were a (big) part of why he kept them on his winged boots in the first place.

When he got to his bed however, there they were—black and shiny with the laces neatly tied. The laces had cat paws and hearts all over them, the same ones Jaehwan got him last year for his birthday.

“You said you kept confusing your shoes with someone else’s, so here! Happy birthday, Hyogie!” Jaehwan had given him a small paper bag, and when he opened it up—he’d flushed scarlet. The laces were stupid and embarrassing but when he saw how widely Jaehwan smiled, he couldn’t help smiling back.

“I love them,” Sanghyuk lied. As long as he could have Jaehwan’s smile he’d wear a cat suit in public if he had to.

The camper stared at him and asked, “Are you okay, Hyukkie?” Sanghyuk gritted his teeth and said, “Yeah. Dad must be playing tricks on me today.”

He stared at the boots and sighed. He was already late—he was supposed to be at the Hecate cabin in time to pick up Jaehwan for their quest. It involved getting another kid safely away from the monsters that were chasing him and bringing him back to Camp Half-Blood.

He threw the boots down onto the floor and a note fell out, fluttering delicately to the floor. At that moment, the wings appeared—a little ruffled at the rough treatment but they were used to Sanghyuk—and he reached for the note.

“You nerd. Quit stealing my spell ingredients! Swing by the cabin and I’ll reply to your question.

Also--buy some foot powder, your feet stink.”

Sanghyuk couldn’t help laughing out loud. “You bastard,” he whispered, tucking the note in the pocket of his sweater. He opened a window and jumped out of it, letting his winged boots bring him to the Hecate cabin.

In his excitement, he failed to notice a shimmering trail of glitter and colorful stars falling from the soles of his boots.

+

Carefully... a pale hand traced a complex-looking spell circle using light blue chalk. Jaehwan was about to write down the finishing touches on the circle when a camper’s voice called out, “Watch out Jaehwan-oppa, incoming at 12:00!”

He looked up in time to see the Hecate camper disappear outside, the door slamming shut behind her. He was alone, and about to face an incoming meteor after drawing a very delicate spell circle.

“Oh shi--Sanghyuk don’t--!!”

CRASH!

The son of Hermes tumbled through the window and landed with his back to the wall, a glitter trail of stars at his wake. When he crashed, his boots had erased part of Jaehwan’s spell circle.

“What the he--why am I covered in GLITTER?”

Despite his spell circle now ruined (and it had taken him nearly an hour to get it right) it was hard to be angry at Sanghyuk when the boy was wearing a large sweater, skinny jeans and his winged boots.

Especially when he kept wearing the cat paw shoelaces. Jaehwan had meant it as a gag gift, honestly. He’d been prepared for Sanghyuk to choke him with it. But when the younger boy had happily pulled off his old shoelaces, Jaehwan had to admit that it suited him, somehow, in a boyishly cute way. Jaehwan resolutely ignored the rapid beating of his heart as he extended a hand to help Sanghyuk up.

He should have known better, because with one strong tug downwards Jaehwan landed on top of Sanghyuk, covering them both in glitter.

“You’re a jackass,” Sanghyuk whispered, finding himself face to face with Jaehwan, his hands pressing against Jaehwan’s shirt. “Now I know why people were asking if I had any pop tarts.” Jaehwan had dyed his hair into a soft mint green, and he was wearing his glasses. His skin felt hot and all Sanghyuk wanted to do was run his fingers through the soft mint-green hair, and take off those glasses and just—

“Well you shouldn’t have stolen my honeysuckle!” Jaehwan said as he pulled away from Sanghyuk, his cheeks tinged pink. He stood up and dusted himself off, rainbow glitter falling from his shirt and pants to the floor. Jaehwan extended his hand towards Sanghyuk, who gave him a heart-stopping grin before taking it, his grip warm and firm.

“So, what’s the answer to my question?” he breathed into Jaehwan’s ear.

Damnit. Sanghyuk was a boy wearing cat-paw shoelaces, his boots enchanted to sprinkle glitter everywhere he went. His hair was sticking up in odd places, dark brown eyes looking down onto the floor instead of at Jaehwan.

He knew this.

But goddamn, why was Sanghyuk still so hot?

He could have blasted Sanghyuk back all the way towards the Hermes cabin if he wanted to. But he didn't, not even when Sanhyuk messed with Jaehwan's spell circle.

Instead, Jaehwan grabbed Sanghyuk by the waist and tipped the younger boy’s chin up.

“Yeah, you stupid dork. I’ll go out with you. Now come on, we have a quest to go to.” Jaehwan’s breath ghosted over Sanghyuk’s lips and he swallowed. It would be the easiest thing in the world to just press forward, and--

It was quick, but Jaehwan pressed his lips to Sanghyuk’s in a gentle, dry kiss. He pulled away before Sanhyuk even realized what was happening and ran outside, laughing.

“Come on, last one there buys dinner!”

Sanghyuk groaned inwardly. Damn tease.

He got up and tapped his boots free from glitter and got ready to fly.

“I’m holding you to that promise, hyung! I’m eating beef tonight!”

[kyaappucino]

Love Me like You Do

Pairing: Hongbin/Wonshik

Words: 4,651

Rating: G

Summary: The last time Hongbin had been up onstage was nearly three years ago, when he was thirteen. The very idea of being able to prove that he was worth more than his face was immense; it seemed like wherever he went that was all people saw. And quite frankly, he was sick of it.

Notes: I joined the chapters to form one big fic. Title is from Ellie Goulding’s song of the same name.

Warnings: classic songfic from the days of ff.net

The Aphrodite cabin was known as the Paris of Camp Halfblood—always fashionable and sweet-smelling. It was enough to drive Lee Hongbin mad with boredom. Not that was the only thing that happened in the Aphrodite cabin, but it was a large part of their culture. At first, Hongbin had found it cool when he could suddenly speak fluent French ever since his mother claimed him—especially since he hadn’t lived anywhere else besides Seoul. Before Hakyeon had arrived at Camp Halfblood it was Hongbin who was constantly hounded with love calls and who hid himself away in Jaehwan’s cabin when things got particularly bad.

It was a sunny afternoon when Hongbin decided to leave his cabin for a while, not having any quests to go on. His training session with his mentor was finished and he’d been praised for a job well done—he had a real knack for his chosen weapon. He’d given fashion advice to Gongchan before he left however; he loved that boy but he really didn’t seem to understand that plaid on plaid just wasn’t happening. When not in chaos, Camp Halfblood was one of the prettiest places he’d ever seen. Somehow, while walking in the afternoon sunshine he found his way towards Dionysus’s strawberry gardens.

“You need anything, Bean?” He looked around and smiled when he saw the Greek god himself, can of diet coke in hand. “Not really, Mr. D. Just looking around.” While Mr. D was usually cold towards demigods, he also appreciated Hongbin helping out with the strawberry gardens and for spending a bit of time with Pollux, Dionysus’s remaining child.

“Well, if you aren’t doing anything—could you tell that boy to stop pinching my strawberries? We need to keep camp afloat, you know.” The curly-haired god pointed with one of his chubby fingers towards a boy with white hair and droopy, sleepy eyes lined with kohl. Perched on his head was a snapback, shielding him from the sun. He was holding a basket and was picking strawberries—and every so often popped a few into his mouth. “It’d be great if he didn’t try to eat his weight in strawberries.”

Hongbin leaps over the fence and nods, trying not to clip the strawberry hedges and he approaches the sleepy-eyed boy, who tucks the strawberry basket under his arm and grins. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself. Mr. D just wants you to quit picking so many strawberries; you’ll bankrupt camp, the way you’re going.”

“Ah, really? Sorry—it’s just that, Mr. D grows the best strawberries I’ve ever tasted. Better than the ones you can buy in the market.” He turns to where the Greek god of wine is standing, drinking from a can of diet coke. “Sorry Mr. D! Dad just suggested I sample the strawberries—great for inspiration!”

“Inspiration?” Hongbin asks, falling into step with the boy as they walk out of the strawberry gardens. “Yeah—I was having a hard time writing a song so I asked my dad what to do, and he said that Dionysus grew strawberries so delicious, I’d write odes and spin rhymes to ‘em!” Apologetically, the white-haired boy hands Dionysus the basket of strawberries, and when Dionysus takes the basket, it completely disappears.

“Tell your dad flattery gets you nowhere, Ravi. Beans, get him out of here before I stuff you both in a bottle of Merlot!” Despite his words, both boys see Mr. D hiding a grin behind his pink cheeks.

“Beans?” the white-haired boy asked, a smile playing on his lips. “Ravi?” Hongbin shot back, giggling. They stopped at a fork in the road, with signs labelled with all the different cabins.

“Gonna go back to my cabin now,” the white-haired boy said, grinning. “I can definitely think of a few things to write.” Hongbin nods, his heart fluttering in his chest. All the signs if he ever knew them—and being a son of Aphrodite, he definitely did. As the boy with the snapback starts to walk away, Hongbin shouts, “What’s your name?”

The boy in the snapback looks back at him, and Hongbin swears he’d never seen a smile brighter than the sun. “You heard Mr. D, Beans! I’m Ravi!”

Hongbin spends the day taking photos with his cellphone’s camera, careful to keep the shutter sounds off. When he looks at his camera roll, they were full of flowers and scenery, but the focal point was always a bit of white in the background. Whether it was daisies, clouds, or even just photos of the various cabins—his thoughts kept straying back to Ravi.

He had to find out what that boy’s real name was.

❣

“Fading in, fading out, on the edge of paradise…” Hongbin had been lying down on a patch of green grass, letting the warm rays of the sun dry his cotton-candy pink hair, his eyes closed. It had been a week after the strawberry incident and one of his favorite things to do was to listen to the Apollo children compose songs and music.

“Every inch of your skin is a holy grail I’ve got to find…only you can set my heart on fire, on fire…“

The music cut off there, and there was a deep voice that said, “Ah, it does sound great like that—thanks a lot. I definitely know where to go from here.” He recognized that voice. Hongbin sat up and turned his head and there he was—Ravi. This time however, the boy was wearing a mustard-yellow sweater with a studded black-leather jacket on top. His legs were in black skinny jeans, but his hair was still white. It stuck out like a sore thumb and before he knew what he was doing, Hongbin was walking over towards him.

Ravi’s back was towards him, and he seemed to be talking to two girls; one of them was holding up a sheet of paper and the other leaned her arm on an electric guitar that was strapped onto her body. “Anytime, Shikkie!” the girl with the guitar said. “Glad to hear you finally found your muse!” There was an embarrassed laugh that came from Ravi, throaty and deep—a genuine belly laugh. “Does it really sound like that?”

Their conversation was cut short, however when they spotted Hongbin and waved to him. “Hongbin-oppa!”

Ravi turned around and there he was, white hair, mustard-yellow sweater and black jacket. What stunned Hongbin though were his eyes—when makeup was properly applied, he looked handsome, especially with…smoky eye shadow? The brown-eyed boy peered closer at Ravi. Yep, softly applied smoky eye shadow, tightlined with black eyeliner.

Hongbin grinned at them. “Good morning, girls. Great practice. I couldn’t resist coming closer to hear it.”

The girl with the sheet of paper nodded, her black hair swishing slightly. “Wonshik-oppa makes the best songs at Apollo Cabin.”

“Ravi? Wonshik-oppa?” Hongbin asked, and he grinned. “Yeah…Mr. D calls me that, but my real name’s Wonshik. Hey. Uh…how much did you hear?” he seemed a little nervous, suddenly.

“Something about paradise and fire. It’s really sweet.” At his words, Wonshik relaxed and placed a hand behind his neck. “Glad you liked it. It isn’t done yet, but I’m really making good progress.”

“There’s just…one thing.” Hongbin said seriously, and Wonshik’s face shifted from relieved to worried. “Y-yeah? Is there something wrong with the music?”

“No. But—girls, can I borrow Wonshik for a second? I just…just can’t stand it anymore.” High-pitched noises left the girls’ lips and they squealed, “You can take him!” with Hongbin shouting back, “Thanks!” as he grabbed Wonshik by the wrist and led him towards the Aphrodite cabin and knocked furiously. The door was opened a crack and a blonde-haired boy asked, “Who’s the—Hongbin-hyung! And who’s…oh. My. God. Get him inside, stat!”

Wonshik felt confused, dizzy and was soon swallowed up in the scent of perfume.

❣

The Aphrodite Cabin was bigger on the inside, and its décor changed depending on the day and mood of the cabin. Right now, it had changed into a stylish salon, and there were half a dozen boys and girls attending to Wonshik, with Hongbin approving or disapproving the changes to be made.

“No, no—have you seen his dress style, Minah? That color just won’t do.” Hongbin rejected a tube of purple hair dye and Minah added it to the growing pile behind her. “Hmm. Well, if all of the radical colors won’t do, then…let’s just dye it black.”

This earned a smile from Hongbin, and Minah nodded. “You heard him—let’s get to work!”

There were few times in his life where Wonshik had felt truly overwhelmed, and this was one of them. The opportunity to change someone’s hairstyle had the entire Aphrodite cabin twittering in excitement. Wonshik received tips on how to make his hair softer, skin brighter and whenever he tried to protest, a sweet was pushed into his mouth. If it wasn’t for the fact that this entire makeover was orchestrated by his muse, he would have squirmed away and bolted.

❣

Muse.

That was what his father had called Hongbin, the moment Wonshik had seen the son of Aphrodite. Wonshik had approached Woozi, another one of Apollo’s children about it. “What’s a muse?”

“Well, hyung,” Woozi said calmly, looking up from his notebook. “That’s the person who you get inspiration from. Especially when we’re making songs to give to dad.” The kids of the Apollo cabin knew what he was talking about. Apollo’s children were the ones in charge of writing and composing music, and it always made their father happiest when their children composed songs that could inspire others.

“To inspire,” Woozi continued, “The artist has to be inspired…don’t you think so, hyung? This is where the ‘Muse’ comes in.”

Wonshik thoughtfully nodded and said, “How do you know who it’s going to be?”

The shorter boy smiled politely. “That…I am not sure of, hyung. I haven’t met my Muse yet. But…I guess you’ll know when you can’t stop writing about them? That kind of feeling…”

He had thanked the younger boy and left him to his work, but felt a little confused about the whole thing. That was when he got a message from his father, and suddenly everything had been clear as day.

❣

Until now, he still can’t believe he met his Muse in the middle of a garden of strawberries. The other boys and girls had said that Wonshik’s hair needed time to set properly, because it was being dyed from white to black. In the time that it had taken to properly relax and get his hair ready for re-dying, Wonshik had almost drifted off, closing his eyes.

“You all right?” Hongbin’s gentle voice was near Wonshik’s ear, and he could feel his heart drumming noisily in his chest. “Yeah…but boy. You guys really know how to treat a guy.” Despite the intoxicating mixture of perfume and hair products in the room, he did feel more relaxed than before.

“Sorry…it’s just that…I think you look better this way. Ah…could you look and see?”

When Wonshik’s eyes fluttered open, his gaze was directed to a full-length mirror in front of him. He stood up and looked at himself, completely surprised.

His hair was sleek and as black as a raven’s wing, combed up and parted to one side. It suited him better than the white, with his clothes. His yellow sweater was brighter, and the studs on his black jacket were shinier than before. His makeup was well-done as well, with a smooth cat-eye complimenting his clothes and overall style.

“I hope you don’t mind. I mean…I know it’s just clothes but if you’re trying to win someone over, it helps.” Hongbin said, chuckling.

Wonshik glanced at his Muse, and replied, “Ah…I really hope so. Thanks. I should…get going now. I need to finish up my song.”

Hongbin tried not to look disappointed when Wonshik seemed a little too eager to leave—but he supposed that was what being in the ‘Pink House’ does to you. “Sure, I’ll show you out.”

It was Hongbin who saw Wonshik out, and at this moment all of the other Aphrodite kids had gone, sensing the overall mood. They weren’t called the kids of love for nothing. Before turning to leave, Wonshik turned to Hongbin and asked, “Ah…you meant what you said earlier? About the song?”

The son of Aphrodite raised an eyebrow. “Yeah. What, you think I’m not sincere or something?”

Wonshik shook his head and flushed a deep red. “….no, no. It’s just that…uh, I heard you had really high standards. So if you say it’s good then…”

Hongbin’s grip on the door tightened and he stomped his foot on the ground. “Yah! D-don’t mention it, really—you’re really good, you know. Whoever you’re writing that for must be very happy.”

It’s for you, Wonshik thought. I wrote it thinking about you.

But his mouth wouldn’t cooperate with his brain. Instead, what he said was, “I hope so too. Would…would you mind if I asked for your opinion with songs next time?”

A surprised Hongbin ends up nodding before he realizes what he’s doing. Damn Apollo’s son.

“Sure…see you.”

❣

Since it wasn’t a glamour spell, Wonshik’s hair and makeup stayed firmly on him for the rest of the day. He was the center of attention wherever he went—and it was a moment he soon came to feel proud of, instead of feeling embarrassed by the attention.

Funny what the right hair color could do for one’s overall look.

As he walked further and further away from the Aphrodite cabin, Wonshik looked up to the sky and chuckled. “Dad, you the real MVP.”

“Don’t mention it, son.” He jumped in surprise and whirled around. There was his father, looking ethereal as ever—only this time, he was riding on a sleek, golden motorcycle with a wicked grin on his face.

“Told you—if you hang around the strawberry gardens long enough, your hot muse would show up.”

Wonshik laughed. “Yeah, and it only took him…two weeks. I thought Mr. D really was going to stuff me in a barrel.”

The sun god’s grin got bigger and he affectionately patted his son on the head. Wonshik felt warmth like never before flood through his entire body, and prayed that his hair would hold up to the heat. When his father’s palms came back clean, he mentally thanked his lucky stars. Or, more accurately, he thanked Lady Luck.

“I’d like to see him try. Anyway—I’ll be expecting some really good songs from you soon, son.”

Wonshik took a deep breath before his father disappeared, leaving a cloud of golden smoke in his wake, and the blinding light of the sun was back in the sky where it belonged.

Talk about pressure. He had to impress his father and his Muse, all in one go.

Surely there were quests tougher than this.

❣

For a son of Aphrodite, Lee Hongbin was entirely unwilling to participate in decorating the stage for the Apollo cabin.

“Binnie-ah,” Minah said softly, as respectful as she could. While she had two beads on her camp necklace and Hongbin had one, she couldn’t forget about the time when Hongbin had been truly annoyed. He had uttered quietly, “You’re not getting back together with your boyfriend,” towards one camper, when he was badgered over and over about his cotton candy pink hair.

And to Minah’s surprise, they hadn’t. Lee Hongbin, the newcomer at camp had broken up a couple just by using charmspeak. Immediately afterwards, Aphrodite herself had approached Hongbin and said fondly, “My sweet autumn baby, this is not what your gift is to be used for.” Hongbin had looked at his mother and smiled, flashing those dimples of his. “But it was good, wasn’t it?”

The goddess of love couldn’t help smiling back and stroking her son’s cheek. “Yes, it was very good. But not what your powers are used for.” In the end though, Aphrodite had cancelled his charm-speak and the couple was reunited once more. But the message that had been sent was very clear:

Kids who pissed him off were sure to feel his wrath.

At that moment, Hongbin was curled up on his favorite window seat by the large bay window, staring outside with glass of iced tea cupped in his hands. He glanced up at Minah and smiled warmly. “Yes, Minah? What’s up?”

“Just wanted to ask for your opinion on the stage decorations…” she said softly, unsure whether to give Hongbin the blueprints that one of the other kids had drawn up.

“Let me see.” The look on Hongbin’s face was hard to identify, but he was smiling brightly, showing off his white teeth. Minah handed the blueprints over and Hongbin took a sip of iced tea and shook his head.

“I think it would be better if gold was the accent, not the main color.” When it came to planning out stages, he had a clear aesthetic vision that most of the Aphrodite kids could agree on–but a slightly golden stage for the sun god’s son? Was she being serious?

Hongbin had placed his iced tea on the window seat and had grabbed one of the pink pens that were strewn all over their cabin. He marked the places where the gold should be and had written a note on top: make it white.

When Minah received the new draft of the stage decorations, her lips curled into a full frown. “Did anything happen with Wonshik-oppa?”

Hongbin’s hands fidgeted with the hem of his t-shirt. “What makes you think that?”

“Well…maybe because you requested blinding white for the stage lights? Nobody will be able to see him like that, Binnie-ah…”

Hongbin looked away from Minah. “He keeps bringing me songs to look over. When is he gonna get it? I don’t want to keep reading those stupid love songs…”

Minah resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “Hongbin-ah, for an Aphrodite kid…you can be kinda dense, you know?”

The only answer to that was a well-aimed throw pillow flying in Minah’s face. “If you understand, quit asking stupid questions and just talk to him.”

“Talk to him? Minah, these songs…they’re so…they’re practically dripping in love.” he spat out the last word as if it was too bitter to remain in his mouth. “He should just compile all of them and hand it over to whoever’s gotten into his head.”

“Maybe you should come and help us decorate.” Minah said while gently flicking Hongbin’s arm, then laughing when Hongbin gave her the finger and an upgraded version of his stink face.

“I’d rather get piss-drunk on diet coke!”

❣

For all intents and purposes, Wonshik was a pretty easy-going guy when it wasn’t about composing songs, or finding the perfect instrumental track for his siblings’ songs. But this time, he was slumped over at his desk, half-buried in papers full of lyrics with edits in red pen.

He’d been bringing over snippets of different songs to his Muse, hoping that he would be as decisive with the songs as he’d been when giving Wonshik’s hair a brand-new dye job.

Unfortunately, all that happened was Hongbin praising him and then sighing, as if nothing would ever be good enough. Their next festival was closing in quickly, and so far nothing had taken his Muse’s breath away, none of his works had Hongbin in tears. (Of course, it never helped that Wonshik’s way of delivering these notes had been through other people.)

“What’s wrong with me?” Wonshik wondered aloud into his stack of papers, breathing a weary sigh. “Maybe you should try…you know…not being a wuss?” The son of Apollo lifted his head and came face-to-face with Hyuk, who motioned for Wonshik to move as the son of Hermes entered the premises through the window.

Hyuk tapped the floor twice with his left foot and the wings on his shoes disappeared. “Shut up,” Wonshik muttered. “have you asked Ken out yet?” The younger boy’s cheeks turned a crispy pink and he replied, “I’m working on it. I just…haven’t found the perfect moment.”

“You’ve known him your whole life, Hyukkie.” Wonshik deadpanned as he walked into the kitchen and gave his visitor a glass full of water. “Thanks, hyung. And yeah, but I only got this crush like…three weeks ago.”

Wonshik leaned against the marble counter and laughed. “Fair enough. All right, tell me what happened.”

❣

While he didn’t want anything to do with actually decorating the stage, he had to admit that it was beautiful. His fellow Aphrodite campers had argued about the final look numerous times, but in the end they went with something different: after getting word from Grover about the change of time, the background for the stage would be a backdrop of stars, forming different constellations.

“So it’ll be from midnight til dawn?” Grover nodded, one of his hooves pawing the ground nervously. “Since we changed the time, there’s an empty slot…” He checked his clipboard for the order of the festival’s performers. “Would you happen to know anyone who could fill in for the 5:00am slot?”

Hongbin stared at the satyr. “I think the Apollo kids would know more than–” he thought back to all the moments when Hyuk had passed him letters from Wonshik, containing song lyrics. “…what time is Wonshik performing?”

The satyr checked his schedule again. “Kim Wonshik? He’s number 17, so possibly…around five thirty? Why?”

“I think I know someone who’d love to perform at the festival.” Before he’d met his godly parent, Hongbin had wanted to be part of the Apollo cabin–especially when he heard the deep voice of a camper who had a penchant for rap.

“There’s certainly no room for cowardice in love, mother.” Hongbin had said one evening, completely forlorn at the thought of Wonshik working so hard to write the perfect song for a nameless person.

Aphrodite had taken her son’s face into her perfumed hands and said softly, “Ah, but isn’t love all about conquering your fears? My sweet child, you know who they’re really for. Just take the plunge. Who knows…you may even like the fall.”

It was one of the few times Hongbin had truly understood why his father had fallen in love with the goddess, and this, he did not mind.

❣

“What do you mean, they changed the time?!” It was breakfast time in the Apollo Cabin and a very surprised Woozi looked up from his bowl of cereal. “I thought you got the memo, hyung–the whole camp’s gonna be partying until sunrise.” He looked as tired as Wonshik, with his dark-brown hair sticking out in awkward angles.

“Jihoon-hyung,” one of the newer campers, DK passed him a towel, smiling brightly. It reminded Wonshik of Hongbin, except his Muse had dimples. “the milk’s going to dry on your chin.” Woozi took the warm towel and rubbed his face, yawning all the while. “Thanks, DK. A-anyway…yeah Wonshik-hyung. Our deadlines have been bumped up.”

Wonshik grabbed a bowl of rice and started eating. It was going to be a really long day, but he was determined to present the best song for his father and his muse at the festival.

Nothing like a deadline to help kick his inspiration into overdrive.

❣

The last time Hongbin had been up onstage was nearly three years ago, when he was thirteen. The very idea of being able to prove that he was worth more than his face was immense; it seemed like wherever he went that was all people saw. And quite frankly, he was sick of it.

So far, the music festival had gone smoothly, with each Apollo kid playing their best songs and instruments. There was even one Apollo camper who’d set up an entire DJ mixing table for his turn, which was a pleasant surprise–Hongbin had assumed that nearly all of them were just trained in classical music.

“Before we go on,” the emcee says into the microphone, “we have an intermission number from one of the other cabins.”

From behind his spot onstage, Hongbin adjusts his hat one last time, gripping his acoustic guitar. Somewhere in the audience, Wonshik was sitting on the grass and waiting. Waiting for some nameless face in the crowd (or so he keeps telling himself. There’s just no way all of those snippets, words praising the pink cherry sunrise and a voice smoother than dark chocolate–those couldn’t have been for him) and well, Hongbin wasn’t the kind of boy to give up without a good fight.

He just prayed that it was good enough for the son of Apollo.

“Lee Hongbin, from the Aphrodite cabin.”

There was a hush amongst the crowd as Hongbin stepped up onto the stage, where a stool had been set up. He checked his guitar, not looking at anyone in particular, determined to push out a good performance. Sitting down on the stool, he smiled at his audience and said softly into the microphone, “Kim Wonshik?”

The audience squealed in delight and there was a slight yelp in the audience before various people surrounding Wonshik made him stand up. There was a chuckle from Hongbin, his dulcet voice amused and clear. Wonshik was glad that the sky was still relatively dark and that the lights chosen were bluish in color–his face was already warm.

In a slightly huskier tone of voice, Hongbin said in French, “I hope you like it.”

He strummed the guitar once and when the instrumental track started, he began to sing.

“I don’t know you But I want you All the more for that Words fall through me…”

There was a resounding “Awwww” from the audience, and still Hongbin went on, undisturbed. There were parts in the song where his voice simply couldn’t take the high notes, so he’d decided to pitch it to fit his vocal range.

He locked eyes with Wonshik, standing there staring at him like he was the only person that mattered.

And in that moment, Hongbin willingly offered the other boy his heart.

❣

Wonshik couldn’t breathe. Up there, on stage was his Muse–breathtaking, even in a long sweater and perfectly distressed jeans. He almost dropped the bottle of water he was holding.

When his Muse started to sing, it was unbelievable. There were parts where his voice couldn’t go any higher, but it didn’t matter. Hongbin was deep in the moment, the only way a lover of music could be.

It felt like Hongbin was singing for him, and him alone. The thought alone was enough to make his heart race, but to see it onstage, performed in front of dozens of campers?

“You have suffered enough

And warred with yourself

It’s time that you won…”

When their eyes met, it was electric. There was nothing Wonshik could do but smile, honestly. He’d only been a camper for a few months, but he hadn’t heard of anyone dedicating a song to one of Apollo’s children. Hongbin’s doe eyes pulled in the audience, and along with it, Wonshik’s heart.

After his intermission number, Hongbin asked, “Did you like it?”

There was a microphone shoved into his hands and without missing a beat, Wonshik said softly, in front of every camper present,

“Yes, Lee Hongbin. Yes.”

The next thing he knew, he was already running towards the stage.

[kyaappucino]

Let Go of Me

Pairing: Hakyeon/Taekwoon

Words: 820

Rating: G

Summary: Zelos Cabin was a strange one–for one, it was connected to the Hades Cabin.

Notes: Characterization piece for mythology AU.

Warnings: a mixed bag of feelings

Zelos Cabin was a strange one–for one, it was connected to the Hades cabin. When he asked the camp counselor about the construction design, she’d shrugged and said “Zelos insisted that you weren’t separated from Taekwoon, Hakyeon. And quite frankly, from your performance at camp so far, I’m inclined to agree with him.”

Hakyeon blushed furiously–it wasn’t his fault that Hades’s son had a way of getting him to do better at combat training. The way Taekwoon’s cat-like eyes glittered with mischief whenever Hakyeon was losing had the son of Zelos seeing red–or in this case, green. Everyone had been expecting Hakyeon to lose to Taekwoon, especially since the son of Zelos was fighting with a whip, against the fencing sword of the long-limbed son of Hades.

He’d be damned if he let himself lose to those eyes, to that tiny confident smirk playing across Taekwoon’s lips. When Hakyeon spotted Taekwoon’s tiny pink tongue wet those lips, he knew he just had to win.

So when the battle ended with Hakyeon straddling Taekwoon, his whip wrapped around those long legs, the surprise skittered across Taekwoon’s face. “All right, you win,” Taekwoon said grumpily. “get off of me.”

Hakyeon did so with extreme difficulty–it seemed like his very core wanted to say no, and just wanted to stay like this, with Taekwoon forever.

He’d have to talk to his father about this possessive thing. When they said house of jealousy, they really weren’t kidding. It was taking nearly all of Hakyeon’s energy not to just pounce on Taekwoon, or to pounce on every boy and girl who thought about confessing to the blue-eyed, silent resident of the Hades Cabin.

—-

“Let go of me! Hakyeon!” It had been a daughter of Aphrodite. She’d asked Taekwoon to meet her outside of his cabin, after hours. Before she could even use her charmspeak to coax a kiss out of the serious boy, Hakyeon clapped a hand to her mouth and stared her down with his eyes.

In the bright moonlight, his eyes were cold and mismatched, but the message was clear:

If you don’t stay away from him, I will fuck you up.

“I think you really are hurting her, Hakyeon…” Taekwoon said quietly, and that had caused him to let her go, watching her run off to find Hongbin. Hakyeon scowled. “You really shouldn’t just accept every invite you get, Woonie-ah.”

“So I can’t, but you can?” There was a dark edge in Taekwoon’s voice that caused a shiver to go up Hakyeon’s spine. “I don’t know what you’re talking ab–”

“Bullshit. Don’t lie to me, Cha Hakyeon. You left your cabin in the middle of the night.” Hakyeon’s heart jumped into his throat–Taekwoon had seen him?

“That…that was…” he had no real excuse for that; he’d snuck off to meet Minhyuk, from the Hephaestus cabin.

“Just because I’m…your person–whatever that means–doesn’t mean you own me, Hakyeon! Let. me. go.” Taekwoon’s feline eyes had turned into slits and he was crossing his arms, displeased.

Hakyeon felt like screaming. He wished he could, he really did–but the pull towards protecting and hiding Taekwoon away was too strong. It was like he wasn’t complete without Taekwoon by his side, and the chance that someone would take that away just terrified him.

He looked away from Taekwoon and muttered, “Minhyuk’s…childhood friend.”

“What?” Taekwoon asked, still annoyed at the Zelos child. “Minhyuk’s one of my oldest friends. I never thought I’d see him here!” Hakyeon spat, his voice rising a little bit from emotion.

Taekwoon shoved Hakyeon inside the Hades Cabin and said softly, “Do you want us to get into trouble?” Hakyeon shook his head. “Sorry. Just frustrated…do you even understand what you do to me, Woonie?”

The Hades child blinked owlishly. “…no?”

Hakyeon sighed. “I thought so. Anyway…it’s getting late. Can…can we just forget this ever happened? And…you’re right. I don’t own you. Next time I’ll just…leave you alone. Sorry. I really am. She was really pretty.”

Taekwoon nodded, but looked even more annoyed than ever. “She is pretty but that isn’t the point, Hakyeon. She…she was…” he trailed off and sighed again. “…nothing. Just…when you see her next time don’t touch her, okay? She’s got something I need.”

Somehow that made Hakyeon feel even more miserable, but he nodded.

Why’d he have to fall in love with Taekwoon? Taekwoon, who spoke to girls and as few boys as humanly possible? Taekwoon, who hung around Wonshik and Hongbin during the times when Hakyeon was busy with camp duties?

Dad...Hakyeon thought desperately, is there any way I can get rid of…of wanting to completely own this boy?

He turned on his bed and covered his head with a pillow to muffle his frustrated groan, wondering what Taekwoon was doing on the other side of the door.

[kyaappucino]

Maybe I’m Jealous

Mythology AU

Pairing: Hakyeon/Taekwoon

Words: 1,002

Rating: G

Summary: Sometimes Taekwoon wondered if being partnered with the son of Hades was a good thing.

Notes: I have no explanation for how any of this happened, really.

Warnings: none

The first time it happens, Hakyeon catches Taekwoon staring deep into one of Iris’s mirrors, eyeing what looked to be a very pretty girl.

“Who’s that?” he asks, his dark palm reaching out to cover his other eye. It had always been sensitive to light, and the rainbow goddess’s mirror was sparkling bright, illuminating the dimness of their room.

The only response from the other boy was a grunt, Taekwoon quickly waving his hand in front of the mirror. The image of the girl disappeared, until the only thing they could see was their reflections–Taekwoon clothed in black edged with red; his father’s clothes. Hakyeon was a vision in his suit, a pearly gray. He wore his father’s welcoming gift; a deep green emerald in the middle of an eye, pinned to his collar. The insignia was the same as the one tattooed onto the back of his hand.

It didn’t surprise Hakyeon one bit–his father had always been a little possessive of all of his children.

“Just a friend of mine. Been ages since I last spoke with her.”

Hakyeon pressed down the urge to pin Taekwoon to the wall and mouth at him until the son of Hades told the truth. The thoughts of the other kids were still fresh in his mind.

“He’s been claimed as Zelos’s kid.”

“Isn’t that…the house of…”

“Ambition.”

“No…” A daughter of Athena had murmured, pity in her voice. “…that’s the troublemaker house. House of jealousy.”

Hakyeon had swallowed and laughed easily. He wasn’t the jealous type. His mother was completely selfless, and had raised him to be cheerful and bright, the same way as she had been. Whenever Hakyeon asked about his father, she had smiled dreamily and said, “Even if he doesn’t visit much, he took very good care of us. Of me. Especially when I told him I was having you.”

x

While the Zelos House was being constructed, Hakyeon was given permission to room with one of Hades’s children.

The moment Jung Taekwoon’s deep blue eyes made contact with Hakyeon’s mismatched ones, the electricity that surged through Hakyeon was terrifyingly strong.

Later that night, he messaged his father, who looked proud of him. “Ah, my son. That means you’ve found your person.”

Hakyeon blinked. “What person?”

“The one whom you’ll feel inexplicably possessive of; someone you can’t lose. That was your mother, in my case. Never wanted anyone else to get her.”

That was something Hakyeon understood very well. He’d had similar feelings when Taekwoon was getting closer with the other kids at camp, and wondered why of all the others, he wanted to drape himself all over Taekwoon. There were times when he wanted to lock Taekwoon up, and that terrified him.

Zelos hadn’t judged Hakyeon for these feelings–rather, his dad had only said “the important thing is, what you do with these feelings.”

Some nights, Hakyeon wants to kiss Taekwoon. And he has this feeling that Taekwoon would let him, if he was interpreting the intense gaze the son of Hades gave him every now and then. They’re best friends, though–and Hakyeon doesn’t want that to change.

x

There’s a trick that only he and his siblings know–their father’s welcoming pin could see things, as long as it gazed properly. And it was from there that Hakyeon could look into the room. Hakyeon lifted his hand–the one with the tattoo–and covered up his good green eye, and then he could see, as if he was sitting in the room and not locked up in the shower.

He knows it’s wrong, but his burning curiosity just needed to be sated.

Sometimes it feels like he has a screw loose, as long as it came to Taekwoon.

He wonders if it’s dangerous, feeling this way. He gently turns the shower handle down a notch, so that his vision isn’t blurred by the water. It’s still loud enough for Taekwoon to hear, thankfully.

“…I’ll see you soon. No, he doesn’t know. He’s my roommate…sort of. He’s practically the only one who isn’t scared of me.”

The voice that replies is sweet, and friendly. “I’m glad…do you think you can get away for even a few minutes?”

“Not sure..camp…camp is different. It’s good, but different.”

“What about your roommate?” the female voice asks, curious.

“He’s…I don’t know how to feel about him, noona. He’s the only one who’s ever been there for me, ever since my dad claimed me.”

“Has your roommate claimed you, too?”

Hakyeon decides he doesn’t want to hear the rest of this conversation, and calls out his name. “Woon-ah! Your turn to take a shower!”

For the second time, he watches as Taekwoon hurriedly swishes his hand across Iris’s mirror, without even a goodbye to her.

It somehow fills Hakyeon with joy.

x

The house of Zelos was one of immense potential and strength, his mentors had said softly, explaining how Hakyeon could somehow manage to scratch even the strongest steel with a touch of his chosen weapon, a thin, sleek whip.

“You can become a leader, Hakyeon.

…if you can keep your feelings in check.”

The smile that he gives is tight, doesn’t reach his mismatched eyes.

“I’ll try,” Hakyeon says softly, as his mentor tells him to flick his wrist with enough power to stroke a rose, without it falling apart.

That’s the worst thing about being a son of Zelos, Hakyeon thinks. They’re perfectly fine on the outside…

…but when given the right trigger…

“Hey, isn’t that Taekwoon?” Hakyeon looks up immediately, distracted, and he accidentally whips the rose too hard–the flower falls apart, scattering petals everywhere.

His mentor isn’t pleased.

“Focus, Hakyeon–how can you fight when Taekwoon’s name makes you go insane?”

You try focusing, Hakyeon bites his lips nervously as he thinks this, you try focusing when your roommate and sort of crush is maybe plotting to sneak out behind your back and–

oh, fuck.

He’s in love.

[kyaappucino]

From Here to Eternity

Pairing: Hakyeon/Taekwoon

Words: 2,324

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Sometimes it overwhelmed Taekwoon, how much he loved Hakyeon. It didn’t matter where he was--as he walked through the busy streets of Japan with Hongbin, roughhoused with Sanghyuk, harmonized with Jaehwan, or composed songs with Wonshik--he was thinking about Hakyeon. He could be doing something else and yet his thoughts would drift (always, always) to Hakyeon.

Notes: Soft, sweet love (if I succeeded)

Warnings: porn with feelings

Sometimes it overwhelmed him, how much he loved Hakyeon. It didn’t matter where he was—as he walked through the busy streets of Japan with Hongbin, or roughhoused with Hyuk, harmonized with Jaehwan or composed songs with Wonshik—he could be doing something else and yet his thoughts would drift (always, always) to Hakyeon.

And now, as he boarded the plane that would take him back to South Korea, back to Mata Hari, Taekwoon thought about Hakyeon, fast asleep in his bed, soft locks spread out onto his pillow. Out of sheer whimsy, he took a window seat in the hopes of talking to as few people as possible; he wanted to use the plane ride for a well-deserved nap.

He had learned that it wasn’t a bad thing to rely on other people, and to open himself up (bit by bit) to them. But it was always a different experience when he was alone with Hakyeon, different when they were pressed so close to each other beneath the blankets. There was nowhere to hide when he was with Hakyeon, and for that he would always be grateful.

Ten minutes til takeoff and suddenly his phone beeps, interrupting the Trey Songz track he’d been listening to. His irritation melts when he sees that it was from Hakyeon.

“Have a safe flight. I love you, Taekwoonie.”

Taekwoon had heard those words a hundred thousand times, falling from his lover’s lips. But whether it was said in the dark or beneath the blankets, whether it was whispered into Taekwoon’s ear or he swallowed Hakyeon’s precious moans, he just couldn’t get enough. Each ‘I love you’ felt like it was being said for the very first time.

“See you at home.” He typed out, then quickly sent a follow-up chat of “I love you too.” They hadn’t been able to say goodbye in person; Hakyeon had a schedule and he had to return home. He wanted to wait for Hakyeon’s reply but the stewardess announced that they’re about to take off, and with extreme reluctance, he shut off his phone.

Taekwoon only half-listened to the stewardess as she explained about in-flight safety. He’d heard it all before. Instead, he turned his head to look outside the window.

The airport had large glass windows and from there he could see the family members and friends of the other passengers, waving goodbye. Some of them carry placards with ‘Safe Trip’ and ‘I Love You.’ right before the plane turned away from the terminal, he caught a glimpse of Hakyeon, waving as he opened the glass door. Right behind him was the rest of Vixx, all waving frantically at Taekwoon. He smiled and waved back as he relaxed in his chair. His heart felt so full, and yet he felt like he could accept more, thanks to Hakyeon.

x

He missed all five of them; the four boys he recently learned to depend on and the one boy who he’d counted on from the start. Evenings in the empty dorm seemed to stretch into an uncomfortable eternity, of empty beds and the absence of a familiar warm body that curled up against his chest at night.

It was always easier for Taekwoon when work was involved, though he found himself preparing food for six rather than one, the first few days after he arrived in South Korea. So it came as a complete surprise to him when one early morning, he felt uncomfortably hot.

Warily, he opened one eye and gasped when he saw the familiar mop of dark hair, wrapped up in a gray hoodie. All the discomfort was gone; all Taekwoon wanted was to have Hakyeon as close as possible. Immediately, Taekwoon wrapped his arms around Hakyeon and breathed in his scent. He smelled like peanuts and recycled air from the plane, but beneath that it was his Hakyeon, sweet and fiery.

A few years ago, he wouldn’t even want a hug from Hakyeon, and now it seemed as much a requirement as breathing. It was comfortable and familiar, like finding a long-lost part of him.

“Hi,” Hakyeon whispered, hugging Taekwoon back. It reminded him of summer nights where Hakyeon snuck into Taekwoon’s bed. The younger pulled him closer, as if he wanted to make sure Hakyeon was really here, blood and muscle instead of dreams and desires. The older man giggled and snuggled closer into Taekwoon, his hood falling down.

“I missed you…” He breathed into Hakyeon’s hair. “I really missed you…” The older man nuzzled closer into his chest, and Taekwoon felt that beautiful smile press against his white sleep shirt. “Didn’t I tell you…I would be back? Silly Woonie…”

Hakyeon pulled away from the embrace and pressed his lips against Taekwoon’s. They relearned the shape of each other’s lips, kissing carefully and slowly. Hakyeon was wonderfully warm against him, hardness pressing onto Taekwoon’s thigh. Their soft, sweet kiss turned openmouthed and urgent and though Hakyeon gripped Taekwoon’s shirt tightly, made no move to do anything more.

From the beginning, it had always been about consent, and if Taekwoon wasn’t ready to proceed then Hakyeon wasn’t about to pull him through the rabbit hole. But when the younger man broke the kiss and breathed “Hakyeonie…I want to…feel you more.” into Hakyeon’s ear, Taekwoon found his back hitting the bed and Hakyeon straddling his lap. “I…want you. So, so much. Are you sure?”

His only reply was to kiss Hakyeon fiercely, long and slow and deep. One of Hakyeon’s fingers found his own, intertwining, and when Taekwoon felt Hakyeon’s tears on his face, felt Hakyeon’s heartbeat mirroring his own–he had no doubt that this was what he wanted.

He wanted Hakyeon, to feel him as close as possible, in every single way.

x

It was a completely new sensation, to have Hakyeon’s heavy gaze on him like this. Hakyeon explored every inch and crevice of Taekwoon, aligning their hips in a way that made it hard for him to breathe.

Taekwoon gave a soft, needy whine and started to pull at Hakyeon’s hoodie. The other man smiled and allowed Taekwoon to take it off of him, including the shirt underneath. “I love you,” Hakyeon whispered as he took off Taekwoon’s shirt in turn, both of them moaning as their bare chests pressed together. All of these sensations were overwhelming, charged with emotion.

It was done carefully, with Hakyeon looking closely at all of Taekwoon’s reactions. After months of wanting to feel Taekwoon skin to skin, the actual thing made him feel lightheaded, almost drunk.

Hakyeon sighed as he pulled away to remove his jeans, with Taekwoon’s hands resting on his hips, gentle and fond.

Why

had he begged everyone to grip his hips so hard? Taekwoon’s hands were gentle on his hips, looking up into his eyes like he was the only one who mattered.

It was almost too much to bear. Hakyeon wasn’t new to sex but with every piece of clothing that was discarded, he felt more vulnerable than he ever had before.

Taekwoon pulled him down for kisses, soft wet and open-mouthed. It seemed a lot more intimate, but very good. Taekwoon moaned as Hakyeon touched him everywhere, movements light and gentle. He squirmed as Hakyeon pressed open-mouthed kisses down his chest. He lightly licked a wet path along his ribs, and he was headed even lower.

“Hakyeon…” Taekwoon’s breathy voice called to him like a siren song, and as much as he wanted to finish up–

“Ssh baby…” Hakyeon went back and kissed Taekwoon, lightly squeezing the obvious bulge in his briefs. He kissed his way downwards, until he gently spread Taekwoon’s trembling legs.

“Is this okay?” Hakyeon asked as he looked into Taekwoon’s hooded eyes. Taekwoon heaved a shaky breath and smiled. “Yes…please…Hakyeon…”

“Okay, baby. Lift your hips.” Carefully, Hakyeon slid Taekwoon’s briefs down, finally exposing his hard, weeping cock. Hakyeon lightly pressed his lips to the tip and licked off the excess precum, eyes hazy. Taekwoon thought he looked utterly, painfully beautiful.

“I’ll be right back.” Hakyeon pressed a lingering kiss onto Taekwoon’s inner thigh before he rummaged through his side table for lube and a condom.

Hakyeon grabbed the lube bottle and packet and returned. He covered his fingers generously with lube and groaned softly as he felt Taekwoon’s tight walls. Hakyeon stroked Taekwoon’s cock with his other hand, the younger man’s breathless voice coming out in short pants. He wanted to hear that breathy voice say his name, over and over again.

“Relax for me, darling…” Hakyeon whispered as he pressed a tender kiss to Taekwoon’s knee. He stretched Taekwoon gradually, another finger sliding beside the first. Hakyeon alternated between thrusting his fingers in and out and spreading them. Taekwoon moaned when Hakyeon curled his fingers inside him just so.

Hakyeon knew he found Taekwoon’s prostate when the other turned his head to the side, hands clutching desperately at the sheets. Sweat began to drip from Taekwoon’s body onto the bed as he bucked his hips, trying to get Hakyeon’s fingers in deeper, to feel him better. Taekwoon gave a low whine when Hakyeon held his hip, stilling his movements.

“Please…please..Hakyeon…I can’t anymore..please…”

Fuck, Woonie. Why do you make begging sound so hot?

When Hakyeon’s fingers slid out of his hole, Taekwoon propped himself up by his elbows just in time to see his lover slick up his own cock before sliding in the condom. It terrified and exhilarated him at the same time; to be this close to Hakyeon.

“Still okay, baby?” Hakyeon asked. Taekwoon saw his eyes; they were blown with lust but he was still holding back a little, just to check if everything was all right. “Y-yes.” He lay back down when Hakyeon began to spread his thighs a little bit more, his erection pressing against Taekwoon’s entrance. “Ah…” Slowly, Hakyeon began to push inside Taekwoon’s tight heat. The feeling of Taekwoon’s walls massaging his cock was too hot, and too good.

When he bottomed out, Hakyeon stilled for a few moments, trying to catch his breath, trying to stop himself from cumming inside much too soon.

“Ha-Hakyeon…” Taekwoon’s voice whispered, breathless and laced with want. “You’re so tight…” Hakyeon whispered back. He wanted to allow Taekwoon time to adjust to him.

When he felt Taekwoon relax, he carefully pulled nearly all the way out and pushed back in again, making the other gasp beneath him. Taekwoon’s forehead was beading with sweat, his hands tightly grasping onto the sheets. Hakyeon started a slow, steady pace, his thrusts deep. It felt so warm inside of Taekwoon, and in this moment it seemed like more than their bodies were intertwined. Deep in his heart, Hakyeon wanted to apologize for all the moments he disappeared in the dorms.

But now, the best he could do was to make up for it—and to love Taekwoon as much as the other loved him back. In between thrusts, Taekwoon’s breathy voice whispered “I love you,” reverently, as if it were a prayer. Hakyeon didn’t think it was possible to fall even harder, but he did. Full of emotion, he leaned forward, still connected to Taekwoon and kissed him, sweet and filthy, swallowing Taekwoon’s needy moans. “I love you so much,” Hakyeon whispered against Taekwoon’s lips.

In reply, Taekwoon threw his arms around Hakyeon. “I’m sure…I only want you. For the rest of my life, possibly. I want to make you happy.”

Choking back a sob, Hakyeon replied, “You do make me happy. Happiest in the world.” He pulled out of the loose embrace and started to pick up the pace, everything he wanted to say compressed into his thrusts. His hands gripped Taekwoon’s thighs so hard that there would be bruises tomorrow—but Taekwoon wasn’t really complaining. He just kept moaning and thrashing his head from side to side; and that was how Hakyeon knew he was hitting Taekwoon’s prostate.

In between them, Taekwoon’s cock was hard, angry red and begging to be sated.

“Woon…Woonie…” Hakyeon said, and Taekwoon lifted his head to look at Hakyeon. “Touch yourself.”

With a shaky hand, Taekwoon stroked himself in time to Hakyeon’s thrusts, throwing his head back in pleasure when Hakyeon gave a particularly hard thrust that sent sparks coursing through his veins. He came with a quiet whine, cum splattering his stomach and chest. Taekwoon gripped Hakyeon’s cock like a vice and Hakyeon shouted Taekwoon’s name was he slammed into him, his entire body trembling from the force of his orgasm.

Spent and very sated, Hakyeon pulled out of Taekwoon, tied up the condom and threw it into the waste bin. Afterwards, he got a damp face towel and cleaned up the remnants of cum from Taekwoon’s stomach and chest. Only then did he allow himself to slump onto Taekwoon’s chest.

“How was it?” Hakyeon asked as one of his hands reached out to grasp Taekwoon’s, fingers intertwined.

“Good…” Taekwoon whispered. “Warm…” He pressed his lips against Hakyeon’s, and said softly, “Thank you.” The darkness of the early morning was already breaking out into a soft blue, and lying down against Hakyeon’s body like this soothed Taekwoon’s normally chaotic heart.

As long as he could, he wanted to make Hakyeon happy, as much as possible.

“No…” Hakyeon said, leaning his head onto Taekwoon’s chest. “…thank you for loving me.” Taekwoon rolled his eyes at that. He would always love Hakyeon, and now he was happy that love was returned.

He had no doubt that no matter where, or when in the world they were—he would always find Hakyeon; his heart’s friend and his other half.

[kyaappucino]

Where Did The Party Go

Pairing: Hakyeon/Taekwoon

Words: 1,938

Rating: PG-13

Summary:  If a doctor opened his chest right that minute–he wouldn’t be surprised if Taekwoon’s name was imprinted over and over again. And yet…no matter how much his body ached, his hands ached to touch–he was kept at a distance.

Notes: Written from Hakyeon’s point of view. I hope I wrote Hakyeon with enough honesty.

Warnings: mentions of sex, hungry Hakyeon is hungry

“We’re luckier than most, my Hakyeon.” That’s what his mother always said when people would fight over him.

Constantly admired and mocked for how he looked: a misfit with tan-colored skin, sinewy limbs and a waist so small it bordered on girlish.

The first time he feels untouchable by the teasing is when his mother signs him up for a summer dance class. Standing on a raised platform and surrendering everything for the sake of the music and for the performance–that was when Hakyeon felt the most right.

So when the kid from Changwon makes it into Vixx, made as a leader of the group–he’s surprised and ecstatic. Scared that he’s responsible for five other lives, five boys who are equally wide-eyed and unsure of everything. Ecstatic because it’s his dream to sing and dance in front of an audience—always has been, always will be.

They need each other, and he’s determined to make it work. They crawl into the limelight with their songs and feel their hearts flutter when people buy their albums, when they hold their first fanmeet.

It’s for them, and for each other that they work, losing sleep and foregoing food in the name of making their fans–their precious Starlights–proud of them.

When they finally win during Voodoo Doll they allow themselves to swell up with love and pride (repaid their fans’ love and unwavering hearts with chicken) and Taekwoon embraces him for the first time, crying so hard he can’t even whisper—that’s when, Hakyeon thinks—that’s when he fell in love with Jung Taekwoon.

+

It takes awhile before Taekwoon warms up to Hakyeon again. After that evening of watching the younger boy embrace his SpongeBob doll tightly and moving back each time Hakyeon moves forward—that’s the thing that gets him the most. How Taekwoon doesn’t want to touch him, doesn’t want to do anything to him. All he gives Hakyeon is this distance, a gaping maw of sadness and disappointment. He supposes its punishment.

“I don’t understand.” He says again during the next night, cold and empty despite having the comforter pulled up all the way to his chin. Taekwoon says softly, “I want to be the only one.” As long as Hakyeon comes home bruised and bitten with the scent of another’s cologne on his body, his neck, his heart—Taekwoon continues to back away from him, even during the daytime.

He’s had to endure breakfasts where Taekwoon’s eyes are pointed elsewhere, his laughter swallowed up, words clipped whenever they locked eyes.

He’s burning for Taekwoon, needs his touch to function properly. But all Taekwoon ever sees are the marks others have left on his body–never seeing the mark that Taekwoon burned into Hakyeon’s heart.

If a doctor opened his chest right that minute–he wouldn’t be surprised if Taekwoon’s name was imprinted over and over again. And yet…no matter how much his body ached, his hands ached to touch–he was kept at a distance.

That’s what hurts Cha Hakyeon worst of all. So much that he needs to leave, needs a warm body to press kisses all over his bare chest, so he can pretend it’s Taekwoon. He’s lost count how many times he begged his partners to bite him harder, until the pain squeezes all the desire he feels for Taekwoon, until all he can utter is Taekwoon’s name as his hips are assaulted, bruises dotting his body all the way to his neck.

It was like trying to wean himself off of a potent drug and committing a relapse each time.

“You really have it bad for this guy.” His latest partner is a lawyer with hair darker than a raven’s wing. His eyes were what sealed the deal–they were sharp, missed nothing and he didn’t particularly care that Hakyeon doesn’t even know his name.

Hakyeon chooses not to comment and goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth when they’re done. When he comes back he stares at his partner of the evening and says “Yeah. I really do.”

“Does he like you?” The man asks as he gets out of bed and opens a window, lights up a cigarette. Hakyeon frowned. “Would I be doing this if he did?” There’s a shrug and the smell of vanilla-scented smoke as it drifts outside, to the lit streets of Seoul. “Do all your partners mind that you keep screaming for this guy?”

“They all know.” He thought of all the boys and girls who’d seen it fit to punish him for calling out for someone else, someone that wasn’t currently in bed. He swore it was like second nature now, calling out Taekwoon’s name in the heat and haze of pleasure. The intensity of want and shame filled him to the core and he thought, “Why am I still doing this?”

For the first time in his life, Hakyeon wants to disappear. He grabs his clothes and prepares for the long walk of shame back to the car, back to the dorm.

+

So when Taekwoon was the one who started pressing into his back, when Taekwoon declared his love for Hakyeon–well. Hakyeon had been fucking over the moon. It was like a dream, touching the smooth planes of Taekwoon’s chest, nuzzling into the column of his neck and tasting body wash and salt and feeling so, so hungry.

Everything he’d ever wanted, but he knew that his heart’s friend–your lifelong friend, he kept reminding himself as he spoke to interviewers and forced himself to hold onto another member–might just run for the hills if he tried anything.

He tried to find a solution, really. Hakyeon cuddled Taekwoon until he felt that he would burst with want and left to find the nearest body to fuck, until he felt drained of all the desires to touch Taekwoon. If he didn’t return to the dorms sated and sleepy, he was terrified of what he would do. Of what he wanted to do. He desperately wanted Taekwoon to be comfortable and didn’t want to pressure him into anything.

In the end, Hakyeon just craved Taekwoon’s touch and when the younger boy would push him away, whispering “…someday…” the fire inside Hakyeon just kept burning brighter and hotter and he just needed release.

He always got it, because Hakyeon never really asked for anything–but the thought of Taekwoon’s sad eyes and empty smile lingered afterwards. Instead of feeling indignant, that he and Taekwoon didn’t really have a serious relationship Hakyeon felt shame blooming on his cheeks, over his heart.

Taekwoon deserved more than a boy who just wanted, a boy whose hips would sway and grind, a boy who searched for fingers that would mark him—long and spidery, like Taekwoon’s.

Taekwoon deserved the world and Hakyeon couldn’t give it to him clean. He wanted to give the younger boy the chaste, pure love he seemed to be searching for.

But it often meant that someone else had to throw him down onto rumpled bedsheets before he was devoid of all the things he wanted to do to Taekwoon. And whenever he came back, lips swollen and body bitten (but his desire is full and the thought of Taekwoon lying back on his side of the bed is no longer as erotic) he had to face the sad eyes and the widening gap as the main vocalist refused to be touched.

The mountain that Hakyeon climbed just to be closer to Taekwoon came back, taller and sturdier than ever.

So when Taekwoon tells Hakyeon “I hope you’ll stop sleeping around,” all Hakyeon thought was, “If I can’t touch you I’m going to fall apart.” What he actually asked was, “Why don’t you forbid me?” It wouldn’t have been the first time, really. The difference being, after this he usually wanted to let go, to break up.

The answer he got was surprising, and Hakyeon could feel the sadness coloring Taekwoon’s soft, soft voice.

“Because I want you to choose not to do it, Hakyeonnie.” This boy was just full of surprises. Hakyeon whispers in a broken voice, “What if I keep doing it, Taekwoonie?” He just wanted to know how high the stakes were, how much Taekwoon was actually willing to risk just so Hakyeon would try.

“Then…you can’t touch me.”

He thinks he’s going to combust.

+

Touch is important to him. It’s how his family—how he—expresses their love. He isn’t used to this, not used to the introvert contented to sip a cup of coffee and eat beside him with a soft smile that makes Hakyeon so, so hungry.

He wants to keep touching Taekwoon, wants to be allowed to come closer. The other members keep asking him if he’s all right. Hakyeon plays it off as stress due to his busy schedule, the lack of sleep making him restless.

One night after filming for his web drama, he goes straight home, enters the dorm taut and hungry for his roommate, a burning desire that nothing else can quench. He’d received invitations to another party, but he turned them down saying softly, “I need to go home. Somebody’s waiting for me there.”

It’s probably the most honest he’s been in awhile.

He comes home to Jaehwan and Hongbin on the couch, iPad in hand and sharing earbuds. “Hyung!” They both smile. “You’re home early.” Hakyeon smiles tiredly and pats their heads as he walks towards his bedroom.

“Filming finished early. What are you doing?”

Hongbin holds up the iPad and says, “Monitoring. Everyone else went to their rooms.” Hakyeon yawns and replies, “That sounds like a good idea. Don’t stay up too late, you two.” Jaehwan winked. “Of course not, hyung~” Hakyeon laughs and as he nears his bedroom door, he hears a slight sucking sound, and shakes his head. “At least wait until I’m inside!” He called out, and there’s a resounding “Sorry mom!” from the living room.

He opens the door and Taekwoon is there, lying on his side of the bed. Eyes him fully and when Hakyeon strips his chest bare, free of bite marks—there’s a small smile on his lips. He walks over to the closet to find his sleeping shirt and is surprised when Taekwoon’s arms wrap around Hakyeon, the main vocalist’s head nuzzling into the back of his neck.

He’s pretty sure he smells a lot like sweat and whatever dinner the staff gave him before he left for the dorm, but that doesn’t seem to matter. His senses are on fire and there are goosebumps on his arms, on the back of his neck as Taekwoon breathes in and out, his breath smelling of toothpaste.

“You’re home.”

It’s so simple, but enough to make him cry. “Yeah…I’m home.” he says softly as Taekwoon holds him in place, arms tight around Hakyeon’s middle. He still wanted to touch Taekwoon–all of him–but somehow this was more intimate than being fucked. The fire inside of him dims until it’s nothing more than a quiet flame, small and soothingly warm against his chest.

Hakyeon feels Taekwoon’s heart against his back, and it’s beating quickly, mirroring his own. He chuckles and says softly, “I make you nervous?”

Taekwoon whispers back, kissing his shoulder, licking the sweat gathering at the base of his neck, “You always have.” He feels one of Taekwoon’s hands leaving his waist and he breathes out a soft whine, trembling.

“Soon,” Taekwoon promises as he pushes one of Hakyeon’s white shirts into his chest.

When they sleep that night, there is no gap between them.

[kyaappucino]

Barrier

Pairing: Hakyeon/Taekwoon

Words: 1,669

Rating: PG-13

Summary: They may have admitted their love for each other–but soon it becomes clear that touch was something Hakyeon held sacred. And if he didn’t find it with Taekwoon, he would look for it elsewhere.   

Notes: Some of the situations I used applied to someone I once loved—possibly why I find it difficult to write down. There’s one or two more after this, I think. Ah—this is heavy and sad, so…please be careful. And as always – it gets better.

Warnings: sadness

Taekwoon actually does like Hakyeon’s gentle hands, especially when they cup his cheek or the back of his neck. They’re dark and strong, and it reassures him that no matter what happens, Hakyeon will always be there. But these days, he wakes up earlier than Hakyeon and crawls, half-asleep into Wonshik or Hongbin’s room and curls up in a corner until someone else wakes him up.

During breakfast, he tries not to look back into Hakyeon’s eyes, gentle and full of questions, shiny with pain. They weren’t like this a few months ago—but then again, it wasn’t Taekwoon who sneaked out in the middle of the night and came back with dark bruises peppered all over his skin.

Before, when Taekwoon only thought of him as a precious friend this wouldn’t have hurt him at all. Hakyeon was born to receive love, and deserved every bit of what he got. This he understood. The problem now was that he was starting to want, to crave more than what he got. And this made him feel selfish.

Hakyeon wasn’t his (mainly because words were hard, and courage was rarely found in between the floorboards of their dorm) and besides, why would his strong leader ever look his way?

Taekwoon then loves him from afar, allows Hakyeon to embrace him. Sometimes he would even allow Hakyeon’s head to rest on his lap if he was truly tired from a schedule—and that was when he realized he had kept right on falling.

There are times when he feels Hakyeon’s eyes on him, so intense that Taekwoon’s surprised he hasn’t melted onto the floor. The main vocal wonders if Hakyeon knows, if Hakyeon feels the sad eyes that stare at the gentle curve of his spine as he walks out the door, heading to someone else’s bed for the night.

It’s enough to make him weep.

+

He’s been lying awake in bed for hours now, watches the shadows on the ceiling. Taekwoon hears Wonshik snoring from the other room and he tries to calm down, tries to breathe in time to Wonshik’s snoring. Hakyeon’s text comes in at 3:00am, a hurried ‘I’m on my way home, Woonie.’ He hates how it makes his heart leap, how he wants to see Hakyeon.

There are nights when Taekwoon is overcome with the desire to touch Hakyeon, to feel the bones beneath his skin. It embarrasses him and he shifts uncomfortably on his bed, hugging his stuffed SpongeBob close. Just when it feels like he could fall asleep, the door gently creaks open and there’s Hakyeon, walking inside smelling like musk. He’s been with a man tonight, Taekwoon thinks, and suddenly the desire to touch his lifelong friend—and now, crush—disappears as quickly as it had come.

“Did I wake you up?” Hakyeon asked softly. Taekwoon turns his head towards Hakyeon, ready to say no, to welcome him back, and to ask if he was feeling much better. The air around them felt heavy and Taekwoon stands up—the desire to touch is back, despite the smell that clung to his leader’s body. Hakyeon turns on a lamp near his nightstand and a ‘tsk’ sound comes out of his mouth as he takes out a box full of skin products. “This’ll take a while to cover up…”

Fully curious now, Taekwoon walks over to Hakyeon, until he’s behind Hakyeon and can see his face, his body reflected in the mirror. There was only one lamp illuminating both their figures and that was when he saw it: dozens of tiny black and blue bruises dotting Hakyeon’s ribs, his sternum, and his collarbones. He wouldn’t be surprised if there were more underneath his T-shirt. Granted they were all strategically placed; nothing some bb cream and high-collared shirts couldn’t hide.

Taekwoon wished there was some sort of cream to hide his heart, too.

How he could fall in love with such a person is beyond him. Taekwoon’s world feels much too small, too inadequate when it’s stacked beside Hakyeon’s, a world of bright colors and passionate romps in between bedsheets.

Wordlessly, Taekwoon reaches over onto Hakyeon’s nightstand and pulls out some bb cream. “Let me.” He hears the elder’s breathing hitch at the offer and nods. With gentle fingers, Taekwoon carefully hides each bruise as Hakyeon watches.

“Ah…maybe I shouldn’t have let them mark me so hard…” Hakyeon mutters, and Taekwoon hums in agreement. “At least we don’t have a photo shoot tomorrow…just a variety show.”

“That’s not much better,” Hakyeon says, laughing. “we move around a lot during variety shows, too.”

“How’s Minhyuk?” Taekwoon asks suddenly as his long fingers pat away a particularly large bruise on the juncture of Hakyeon’s neck and shoulder. Hakyeon thought for a moment before saying, “Last I checked he was just fine. Why?”

“Oh. I thought he….” Taekwoon gestured to the bruises. “Ah, no.” Hakyeon said softly as he inspected Taekwoon’s handiwork. The bb cream blended in with his skin perfectly, hiding each tell-tale mark. “Ah, no. I just came back from Jackson’s, he had a party. And things kinda got…heated.”

When Taekwoon hears this, his heart decides that it’s heard enough. “Oh.” He places the tube of bb cream back onto Hakyeon’s nightstand and says softly, “I’m sleepy.” He lies down on his side of the bed and when Hakyeon tries to cuddle up next to him, all Taekwoon can think about are the bruises, of how thoroughly Hakyeon had been marked by various strangers. It makes his body stiffen, so much that Hakyeon mumbles, “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s…it’s just…” Taekwoon hugs his stuffed SpongeBob tighter beneath the covers. “…it feels wrong. You and someone else’s love bites.”

Amusement colors Hakyeon’s voice. So that was it. “Why?” he asks, playfully. “Do you wish you could do it too?” Jung Taekwoon may have been shy and reserved, but in love, he was an honest person. Cowardly, perhaps but otherwise honest. It wasn’t the ideal way to confess, but then again—Hakyeon was a far cry from the kind of person Taekwoon had expected to feel so strongly about.

“No. I want to be the only one.”

It’s been months and apparently, it hasn’t been platonic for either of them. Hakyeon sits up, fully awake now. “What’s…does that mean—“

“Yes.” Taekwoon confesses quietly. “I think you’re one of the few people I’ll love for the rest of my life.” Hakyeon’s eyes softened and he kisses Taekwoon on the cheek, gentle and sweet. “I love you, too.” Taekwoon cuddles closer to Hakyeon, and suddenly they’re kissing, with Taekwoon licking into Hakyeon’s mouth. The older man suppresses a groan and kisses back with equal passion. When the main vocal feels Hakyeon’s fingers wandering south, his eyes flutter open and he shakes his head. “No.” he wasn’t ready for that, and Hakyeon nods in understanding. His fingers instead reach out for Taekwoon’s shoulders, his ribs, and his waist.

“Is it okay if I continue partying, though?” Hakyeon whispers. Taekwoon thinks about it for a long, long while. He loves Hakyeon, but doesn’t feel comfortable with getting too intimate yet.

He’d known about Hakyeon’s penchant for touch, his desire to express and feel love. But any more than this and he would probably break. It’s too soon, Taekwoon thinks. The numerous bites dancing along Hakyeon’s skin, hidden with makeup is just something he can’t comprehend. He wonders if there’s anything wrong with him, with what he thinks.

When they break apart for air, Taekwoon apologizes and Hakyeon shakes his head, lifting up one of Taekwoon’s hands and kissing each fingertip with reverence. “It’s okay. We’ll take it slow. Whatever you need, love.”

“I don’t mind. Just…” A whine escapes Taekwoon’s throat as he presses kisses to Hakyeon’s collarbones, and Hakyeon runs a hand through Taekwoon’s dark locks, gently scratching his scalp. “Okay. I won’t let them mark me anymore.”

It wasn’t exactly what he wanted, but it was a start.

+

They may have admitted their love for each other–but soon it becomes clear that touch was something Hakyeon held sacred. And if he didn’t find it with Taekwoon, he would look for it elsewhere.

There’s a barrier in between himself and Hakyeon, and it’s called every person Hakyeon’s ever been with. When Hakyeon comes back into their bedroom and takes off his shirt, Taekwoon spots bruises on his waist, shaped like fingers. “I’m sorry.” Hakyeon says quietly, and Taekwoon averts his eyes. He doesn’t allow Hakyeon to touch him, his eyes sad and wet along the edges. He pushes Hakyeon away every time he tries to come close. “But I love you,” Hakyeon says softly, not understanding why. “I did tell you I was going to attend a party.”

“I know…” Taekwoon says, his voice emotionless as he hugs SpongeBob. There’s a wide gap between them and whenever Hakyeon tries to move closer, Taekwoon moves further away. “You can love me, but if I let you touch…then I’m no better than everyone whom you’ve ever slept with.”

Hakyeon knows. He’s been in these situations before. But unlike the other times, running away and finding someone else to fuck doesn’t numb the pain. The moment he spotted the bruises in the mirror, he’d known that Taekwoon would be upset, would be sad. And any other time he would have just shrugged it off. If it was any other person, he would have dumped them already.

As Hakyeon sleeps without Taekwoon’s warmth on his back, he sighs deeply. “I hope you’ll allow me to, one day.”

He doesn’t expect an answer, really. So it surprises him when he hears Taekwoon reply, “I will. I just…don’t want you to sleep around anymore.”

“Then why don’t you forbid me?” Hakyeon asks. There’s a heavy sort of silence hanging between them, and Taekwoon says quietly, “Because I want you to choose not to do it, Hakyeonnie.”

Because I don’t own you, Taekwoon thinks.

Because I want you to choose me.