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— Georgia O'Keeffe, from a letter to Russel Vernon Hunter, from Georgia O'Keeffe: Art and Letters (via letsbelonelytogetherr)

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Edgar Allan Poe, from Tamerlane & Other Poems of E. A. P.; “The Sleeper,”

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“Don’t hold on to someone who’s leaving, otherwise you won’t meet the one who’s coming.”

— Carl Gustav Jung

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mentally i'm here

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- Evelyn Waugh, from Brideshead Revisited (1945)

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This time, last year. The beautiful French Riviera

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The following is an email from July 14, 2020, delivered from the past by FutureMe

Dear FutureMe,

You often felt like life was too difficult for you to master. I want you to know that there's no template in which life should adopt. Living is to be alive. That's it. No ifs or buts. Be alive. Live.

I'm writing this in a period of my life, where I'm contemplating major decisions. I haven't necessarily been happy the last year. The big D (not an innuendo) hit me like a truck, going at 70 mph. I was totally blindsided. This is me in denial. I wasn't blindsided but ignoring my body, my psyche. I thought if I ignored it, it would just go away. I was wrong. Instead, it led me to wallow and wilt. I wasn't the same bubbly person. I was a damaged soul. I could go on about how depersonalized I am feeling at this present time but I would like to focus on getting better and reaching a few personal goals.

Here it goes:

1. Graduate. I only have another 8 months left to get my degree. I've fought so hard to prove that Fashion was the career I wanted to get into. It would be a shame to not follow through. I know it'll be tough and I'll cry rivers in the meantime. It will feel so fucking great knowing I'll never have to walk into that brutalist building. Amen.

2. Travel. I'm fortunate enough to work a part-time job which allows me to save up for traveling. One tip for me is to relax on those Matcha Tea Lattes from Starbucks. As tempting as they are, so is sitting under the Tuscan sun.

3. Money. Money makes the world go round and makes me worrisome. Like my mum says, 'Money comes and goes'. The soul is richer than any bank balance. Follow your heart, enrich the soul, and fill up your belly with great food.

I'm rambling now but I just want you to know that this upcoming academic year will be a test. Hard and difficult. You can endure it. Be more open to speaking to people about how you're feeling. It's okay to not be okay.

You are worth it. You can do it. You will do it. I believe in you and that's all that matters.

Love,

Layla

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Odysseus Elytis, tr. by Athan Anagnostopoulos, from “Maria Nephele: A Poem In Two,”

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"To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides." — David Viscott

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If i met my younger self at coffee, i would say…

You made it through the bleakest storms. It was rough and oftentimes saddening, but you made it.

You are more self assured and the things you were worrying about then, don’t matter so much before.

The journey you are on is one that is long but rewarding. You are a craftsman.

The love you so longed for, it is within you.

The love and romance you yearned for, isn’t the real thing but you can be open and vulnerable.

You aren’t stubborn nor rigid. You are open and tolerant. You have even found a place in your culture, that you never knew.

~Layla (a nomad wandering unknown territories)